Item #: SCP-3133
Author: CannedBread
The first thing you notice about this article is that it takes the form of an email attachment, sent from Dr. Six of the Ethics Committee to O5-5. The file for SCP-3133 actually has two parts: Version A and Version B. A notice at the top of each version explains that any individual may only have 3133/A clearance or 3133/B clearance, but never give information to those with the other clearance, punishable by immediate death. Only Dr. Six is permitted to see/edit either copy. Also, as you would probably expect, it also says that the information in the other version is misleading by necessity.
Certainly an interesting setup. Let's start with Version A.
Version A is Euclid-class, and explains that there are two versions of the document, yadda yadda. The main info we care about here is that a group of D-class personnel are to work in shifts managing SCP-3133's terminal.
This terminal has no screen, and instead consists of three buttons, one red, one green, one black, and a light labelled INPUT REQUEST.
When the light goes on, operators are to press one of the three buttons. The choice of button is to be arbitrary, but operators are advised to push the green button in roughly 60 percent of cases, and the red and black button in roughly 20 percent of cases each. These percentages need not be exact.
[REMAINING CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES CLASSIFIED AT CLEARANCE LEVEL 3133/B]
The description then explains the purpose of this random button-pressing: there's a hostile computer program which generates cognitohazards, which is why the terminal doesn't have a screen. If a button is not pressed within one minute of the light shining, it will somehow connect to the internet and start spreading lethal memes, which has killed at least 700 people so far. Ouch. The terminal will send encoded messages, which are handled by 3133/B staff.
Alright, let's check out Version B now.
We're given a bit of a shock when it is revealed that SCP-3133 is actually Thaumiel-class. Like Version A, there's a team of Level-3 personnel working in shifts in front of a different terminal, which tortures SCP-3133 remotely.
[SCP-3133] is known to provide information universally useful to the Foundation while under duress. Operators are to input a command of their choosing on the console every 20 minutes during daytime, and every 60 minutes at night.
Input on the console is not a direct command to the equipment in SCP-3133's cell; instead, it sends a request for permission to a member of the Ethics Committe on duty. If the input is deemed ethically acceptable, it will be sent to SCP-3133's cell to inflict a measured electric shock.
Audio from inside SCP-3133 is to be monitored by personnel with clearance level 31333/A.
[REMAINING CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES CLASSIFIED AT CLEARANCE LEVEL 3133/A]
Here we see some of the deceptive information about the anomaly. The 3133/A team doesn't review any audio, they just see a light and randomly press a button. The 3133/B team doesn't review any encoded messages, they just ask random questions whose answers would be useful to the Foundation. There's definitely something strange going on here, maybe the description can help clarify things.
We see that SCP-3133 is actually a human woman, who, when tortured, produces correct and useful information. Unfortunately, they don't know any of the information until they actually feel the pain. The Ethics Committee has decided that the suffering of this individual is worthwhile, as it has produced loads of useful intel. Any questions about the anomaly are to be directed towards Dr. Six.
Finally we get to the last file, which is Dr. Six's personal notes.
After authenticating as the Overseer, we see the real SCP-3133 file. It is border collie, with an object class of Keter. Now before we proceed to the contents, there are some things to clear up. First, it makes mention of deontology, which is the ethical belief that actions are morally significant, regardless of consequences. The attached picture of the trolley problem is a basic illustration of this point: a deontologist would not pull the level to kill one person and spare the five, as that requires proactively taking an action that kills a person. The deaths of the other five are not reflective on the lever-puller, as they did not set the trolley in motion. It's important to note that the SCP Foundation is not a deontologist organization, it is consequentialist. The means of achieving are far less important than the ends, as we see with objects like SCP-231, where proactive torture of an unwitting girl is necessary to prevent the greater harm of permitting the Scarlet King to enter our reality.
So what exactly does SCP-3133 do?
SCP-3133 generates a spherical field of effect whose radius extends at roughly 3 cm/min. This field of effect does one of two things; exactly which one is unclear, but the end result is the same.
Possibility 1: Within the field of effect, normative ethics are objectively deontological. So, it is objectively wrong to do something bad as a means to a better end.
Possibility 2: Within the field of effect, every sapient being believes that normative ethics are objectively deontological.
However it works, anybody in the objects's field become deontologists. This is actually very bad, as it would effectively destroy the moral impetus for the existence of the Foundation. As such, we must keep it contained. We do this by causing physical pain to SCP-3133, which makes the field recede. But there's a catch, any rational agents morally responsible for such pain also become SCP-3133 instances, and create their own deontology fields.
So how do we contain it? Dr. Six cleverly designed the two versions of the file to prevent any individual working on the project from being morally responsible for causing the dog pain, as they are unaware of what their actions are doing. The 3133/B team poses questions to ask, but do not actually deliver an electric shock to SCP-3133, as their questions are instead approved by the Ethics Committee, making them morally responsible. But the Committee never actually reviews the questions, the text is disposed of and simply lights up the "INPUT REQUEST" light for the 3133/A team. They in turn randomly press a button, and if they select the green one, the electric shock is delivered. However, even though they are causing the pain, they are not morally responsible either, as they think they are preventing a dangerous computer from breaching containment.
This means that the only person morally responsible for causing the dog harm is the person who arranged this whole system, which is Dr. Six. Thus, they are a SCP-3133 instance and are creating a deontology field and exposed to its effects. They now live alone, and secure a shock collar onto themselves, which they periodically activate to keep their field from getting too large. Normally Dr. Six would be morally obligated to end this arrangement, as they now have a deontological moral system, but being an employee of the Foundation, they are contractally obligated to fufill the Foundation's interests. The deontological moral system Dr. Six has requires they abide by their duty even if it results in harm.
A colleague of mine has also agred to make sure a certain border collie in containment is well-fed, and ask no questions. This colleague is a well-known deontologist and should therefore be unaffected.
O5-05, if you are reading this, I have died, and you have now assumed ethical responsibility for the containment of SCP-3133. You should therefore isolate yourself from the Foundation and periodically harm yourself. I apologize.