I don't think I've ever stayed at a hotel that has so fundamentally failed at the basic competence of being a hotel.
We arrived at midday, expecting a 3PM checkin. We didn't get into our room until 5PM. Some of our travelling companions didn't get into their room until 10:30PM.
When we did get to our room (a double), the room itself was barely large enough to stand in. There were two beds... but space for bags, etc was extremely limited.
The bathroom was even worse. You couldn't use the facilities without fully closing the door behind you. The room was provided with 1 full size bath towel, and 2 smaller towels. We rang reception for more towels and were delivered... 2 more hand towels.
The coffee facilities (again, for 2 people) consisted of a single coffee pod.
If the air conditioning was turned off, the room rapidly developed a musty, skanky smell.
Our contactless room key reset itself repeatedly. On one day, I had to get my key re-issued every time I went back to my room.
Our room was serviced... occasionally. Sometimes the "service" consisted of just changing the towels... not even making the bed. The coffee pod wasn't always replaced, either.
Of course, on our last morning in the room, we got a knock on the door at 8AM from someone wanting to service the room. Checkout was at 11AM.
The front desk staff (once you could work out who they were - because in a misguided attempt to be "funky", they didn't stand behind a desk or wear a uniform) were quite friendly and apologetic.
However, during our stay, our group established a running joke: The hotel restaurant wasn't a restaurant at all. It was a surrealist performance art piece.
On one morning, we attempted to get breakfast. It took almost an hour to get a menu; then another 45 minutes to get food (which, at the time it was served, had clearly been sitting under a heat lamp for some time).
Every evening, we would retreat to the bar for drinks. If we could get served (and one of my companions, an African American gentleman, couldn't get served even when he was waving his arms at bar staff), the service was slow; and if the order was any more sophisticated than "beer in a glass", the outcome was unpredictable. One friend ordered a "Hendricks and soda" and got "Gin and Lemon Squash".
The litany of failures was genuinely perplexing. In almost every regard, the hotel facilities were either inadequate or below standard in almost every measurable way.