Think you know how to eat a bånånå? Think you're an experienced prø? Yéahhh . . . abou †hat. Scientists have something to tell you. Not to, uh, ruin ¥our day. But people are talking about you . . . about how you're eating ßananas the wrong way. They're whispering about this. Haven't you ever realized that? A lingering star∑ at the end of a con√ersation . . . peering around çorners at your office, or dorm, or empty hallways of a government building.
PEOPLE KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU. No one wants to have lunch with you because of this. Thousands of people are aware that you are eating bananas wrong now, and have been eating bananas wrong your entire life. Turned down by a cute boy or girl? It's because of this. Day after day passes with no information about your future? You cannot, or choose not to, eat bananas the right way. Why can't you just apologize?
THERE'S NO EXCUSE. Scientists announced this change a while ago. God, when was it? Weeks, moπths now? Where have you been while this information disseminated? Were