I think in general all the content here is good, but its pretty wordy and doesn't give any "landmarks" for a confused citizen to orientate themselves.
I think the main messages we want to convey here are:
- The default position is that they must confirm or deny; then release if they have it.
- If they've refused a request, have they applied exemptions correctly?
- General things you can do when refused with an exemption
What do I mean by landmarks? I made a stab at showing this: https://gist.github.com/garethrees/d9acb79dbe46eb4143ffe75ca004cdc7#file-foi-exemption-intro-md
Lets say I've just received a refusal notice and I'm sat with someone expert in FOI. Here's what I'd imagine they'd say to me:
- Its okay, it looks confusing but I can help you through this.
- First, did they tell you whether they hold the information or not?
- If not, then they need to unless…
- Blah, blah or blah
- If none of those reasons apply, then ask for an internal review
- If they confirmed they don't hold the information, then they should point you in the right direction.
- If they confirmed they have the information, but refused it…
- Then they must cite the section. If they didn't, ask for an internal review
- Okay so they cited the section, so at face value they've complied with the law. That's where some specific guidance comes in…
I think we want to convey this conversation in text, maybe by making the top-level "conditions" headings or similar, so that a user can scan it and go "Oh… they didn't say whether they had it or not, let me read about that…".