gotoplanb · January 20, 2012 05:04
diff --git a/gistfile1.txt b/gistfile1.txt
 NEWS BULLETIN

 GOD PUNKS RICK PERRY

 January 19, 2012

 South Carolina   Today Rick Perry, governor of Texas, announced that he was "suspending" his campaign for 
 President of the United States. He threw his minimal backing to Newt Gingrich. This should add about 75 
 votes to the Gingrich total.

 Back in August 2011 when Perry announced his run for the highest of earthly offices, he said he did it 
 after a series of conversations with God and that God had told him to run. He said his huge ego and tiny 
 brain played no part in this decision. He said there was a third aspect that played no part in the 
 decision but he couldn't, at this moment, remember what it was. He plans to  now return to Texas and 
 continue his efforts to ruin the lives of all Texans who have not contributed large amounts of money 
 to his campaigns or lifestyle.

 When contacted in Heaven by a local representative of this news agency, and asked directly about Perry's 
 claims of Godly intervention and support, God chuckled in the deep and beautiful baritone that Moses 
 got to know so well. As he held his belly like Saint Nick on Christmas Eve, trying to hold back the 
 waves of laughter, he sputtered to answer the reporter. "He fell for it, he really went for it; all in. 
 The moron. How spectacularly arrogant of him.  I'm so sick of people who abuse the weak and unprotected, 
 either for personal gain, or sport, saying they're doing it in my name, that I thought hey, why not? 
 That I'd break from my usual "hands off" policy and let this egomaniac go forth without me really 
 being there for him. We saw how far his owns talents took him. Must say I truly enjoyed watching from 
 on high."

 Asked whether he had employed this approach before, he replied that Mr. Perry wasn't in any way special 
 enough to be the recipient of a one-off either for good or bad. Asked to expound on that concept, he 
 declined and referred the reporter to world history.
	NEWS BULLETIN

	GOD PUNKS RICK PERRY

	January 19, 2012

	South Carolina Today Rick Perry, governor of Texas, announced that he was "suspending" his campaign for
	President of the United States. He threw his minimal backing to Newt Gingrich. This should add about 75
	votes to the Gingrich total.

	Back in August 2011 when Perry announced his run for the highest of earthly offices, he said he did it
	after a series of conversations with God and that God had told him to run. He said his huge ego and tiny
	brain played no part in this decision. He said there was a third aspect that played no part in the
	decision but he couldn't, at this moment, remember what it was. He plans to now return to Texas and
	continue his efforts to ruin the lives of all Texans who have not contributed large amounts of money
	to his campaigns or lifestyle.

	When contacted in Heaven by a local representative of this news agency, and asked directly about Perry's
	claims of Godly intervention and support, God chuckled in the deep and beautiful baritone that Moses
	got to know so well. As he held his belly like Saint Nick on Christmas Eve, trying to hold back the
	waves of laughter, he sputtered to answer the reporter. "He fell for it, he really went for it; all in.
	The moron. How spectacularly arrogant of him. I'm so sick of people who abuse the weak and unprotected,
	either for personal gain, or sport, saying they're doing it in my name, that I thought hey, why not?
	That I'd break from my usual "hands off" policy and let this egomaniac go forth without me really
	being there for him. We saw how far his owns talents took him. Must say I truly enjoyed watching from
	on high."

	Asked whether he had employed this approach before, he replied that Mr. Perry wasn't in any way special
	enough to be the recipient of a one-off either for good or bad. Asked to expound on that concept, he
	declined and referred the reporter to world history.