opening_notes.md

• [Who?] Hi we're the committee. This is Lindsey, Leo, Maggie, Julia, Erty, and Alex. [Indicate by pointing since we are all on stage.] We're all standing here so you can get a good look and ask us questions if you are lost or something. Please take our numbers in case you get locked out or something.
• [Where?] Here are the restrooms. (I can't remember if they're gender segregated, but for !!Con let's just say they're all unisex and don't worry if you're queer.) Here are the quiet rooms. Please don't touch things that aren't yours, like the food in the fridge, or captioner's stuff. Hang coats here. Plug in computers here.
• [When?] The NYU hours are here, please don't overstay your welcome. The schedule is posted here [we probably want a big sign with the schedule on it], you'll be served $MEALS.
• [How?] Most important part. We have a CoC, and we do expect you to abide by it. There is a lightweight component, which is just the $SOCIAL_RULES. Our goal with these rules is to make !!Con an environment where it is ok to do things like ask questions. Good rule of thumb: if you're doing something that might discourage people from asking questions or more generally, feeling included, please stop. More specifically, [$INTRO_TO_RULES]. There is also a formal CoC, which defines more or less a set of things we all agree are not acceptable. We bring this up so that everyone has a common understanding of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. The full CoC is $HERE. A short and incomplete description: do not harass people. Do not insult people for any reason, including sexual orientation, gender, body appearance, and so on. Sexualized language is not appropriate for this event, at all. Do not intimidate people. Do not use exclusionary jokes or language. This might be anything from a joke about a race, to a joke about women doing math. If we ask you to stop something, comply immediately or be ejected.
• [Misc.] $HERE are the people you can call or talk to in the event of a problem with the CoC. We will approach all of these concerns very seriously. We will deal swiftly with all issues.
• [Ok, great.] Ok, and with all the logistics out of the way, here is our lovely keynote, or something. There's a talk next, and someone is going to give it.