python preprocessor

main.py.php

<?php # The voice in my head told me to. Run with `php main.py.php | python` ?>

def getOS():
<?php
if (PHP_OS == "Linux"){
    ?>
    for line in open("/etc/os-release"):
        key, value = line.split("=")
        if key == "ID":
            distro_id = value
    return f"I am on Linux. Precisely: {distro_id}"
    <?php
}else if(PHP_OS == "Windows") {
    ?>
    return "I am on Windows !"
    <?php
}
?>

print(getOS())