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@irskep
Created January 23, 2011 05:48
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Made in preparation for the spring 2011 CWRU career fair
Name
Type
Description
Beard Bonus
Paul Buchheit
More Than Just The Gmail Guy
Paul's a CWRU grad. We put him on here to try to get him to give a talk or interview at the CWRU Hacker Society. So, Paul, if you see this please email [email protected]!
John McCarthy
Creator of Lisp
Lisp Chainsaw: +20 damage
Parentheses: Slow all enemies unless opponent's IDE autocompletes. New cards must be represented with eth-ekthprethionth.
Beard Bonus: 80
Alan Kay
Dynabook Librarian
Everything is now an object. OOPs!
Mustache Bonus: 15
Edsger W. Dijkstra
Formally Verified
Shortest path: +1 to speed
Ineffective if GOTO in play
Beard Bonus: 40
Richard Stallman
Source Code Freedom Fighter
GNU Manifesto: 30 damage to closed-source constructs in play belonging any player. +10 additional damage if player can be convinced to work on the Hurd.
Beard Bonus: 100
Donald Knuth
Doctor of the Art of Computer Programming
High-TeX Typesetting: deals 1 damage for each as-yet-unwritten word in Volume 4 of TAoCP unless opponent pays $2.56.
+2 to all defenses if an organ is in play.
Beard Bonus: 0
Eric S. Raymond
Steward of Culture
Jargon Battle: Flip a coin. If heads, build a cathedral. If tails, build a bazaar.
Release Early, Release Often: +20 health to open-source constructs due to source code contributions.
Beard Bonus: 2
Tim Berners-Lee
Inventor of the World Wide Web
Hypertext Transfer: Deal opponent +10 damage unless they control a Spam Filter.
Web Standards: If anyone still uses IE6, randomly redistribute all cards in the play area.
Beard Bonus: 0
Dennis Ritchie
Man Who Could C The Future
Null Pointer: Opponent takes +15 damage. 10% chance of shooting yourself in the foot for +5 damage.
Doubles the effects of Thompson, Torvalds, and Stallman.
Beard Bonus: 90
Ken Thompson
Stand Back, He Invented Regular Expressions!
Minimax: Think ahead of your opponent and deal them +10 damage.
Doubles the effects of Ritchie, Torvalds, and Stallman.
Beard Bonus: 80
Steve Wozniak
Champion of the PC Revolution
+40 to hardware efficiency and wonkiness. All cards now fit in 4k of memory... somehow.
Beard Bonus: 20
Linus Torvalds
Unrepentant Git
Now that Linus is on your side, you are always right!
If Stallman is on the table, players must fistfight.
Beard Bonus: 0
John Carmack
Harbinger of Doom
Raycasting: Opponent takes +25 damage and is overrun by exquisitely rendered aliens.
Doubles the effects of all graphics cards.
Beard Bonus: 0
Ada Lovelace
The Original Hacker
Gain +10 to intelligence for corresponding with Lady Lovelace.
Analytical Engine: 20 damage to opponent for arriving at confused ideas.
Beard Bonus: -10
@mrdomino
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I can't edit this. Possibly I don't know how to use github properly.

Proposed further hackers:

Rob Pike
Andrew Morton
Bram Moolenaar
Bram Cohen
Jon Lech Johansen
Peter Norvig
Ada Lovelace
John Mauchly (from Cincinnati, no less!)
John von Neumann

More to come when not frantically moving.

@irskep
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Author

irskep commented Jan 28, 2011

You could fork it. I'm out of comedienergy.

@velociraptors
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Grace Hopper: developed the first compiler, origin of "debugging"
Margaret Hamilton: developed software for the Apollo program and Skylab, also coined the term "software engineering"

@adulau
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adulau commented Jan 28, 2011

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