Why do flamingos exist?

effa

Her: After a rocky start to the day, not bad. Currently pondering the purpose for the existence of flamingos. 

Me: Because peacocks don't make great lawn ornaments in Florida. 

Her: They would if the people of Florida would just give them a chance!

Me: Equal feathers for all!

Her: You shouldn't make fun of such a serious issue. Equal rights for birds in Florida is an important and vital concern in the current political market

Me: Due to immigration concerns the lobbyists for Canada geese have squelched the equal feathers for all movement.

Her: The EFFA movement will regroup through stringent grassroots campaigning and donations from the Bird Watchers of America

Me: The donations were deemed to be excessive by the administration and the BWA is now under investigation by the IRS for fowl play. 

Her: OMG.  Touche
You made me laugh in class.  Congratulations on your play on words

However, the BWA is not our only source of support.  The efforts of EFFA will not be trussed by the loss of a single donor.  Our grassroots movement will lead people to flock to our cause.

Me: A slimy worm leaked scandalous details about the EFFA accounting practices surrounding the spokesbird's wardrobe. The EFFA was forced to hire a pigeon as its new spokesbird

Her: Though the media's interest has migrated from the BWA to the spokesbird of the EFFA, this increased scrutiny by the predatory media has actually served to fluff up the publics interest in EFFA.  Our new spokesbird, Pidgey, has captured hearts of the flighty public opinion and has been known to engender a downy warmth in the hearts of millions

Me: A furry convention has requested that Pidgey speak at their keynote, this outrages the conservative supporters of EFFA and the FBI is now investigating death threats against Pidgey. The increased attention irks liberal supporters for wasting gov't funds on a pigeon. Democrats are suggesting a truce and want to divert funds toward migratory preserves in Florida

Her: EFFA is willing to consider a truce as a way to kill two birds with one stone.  They Florida birds get a new place to roost and the EFFA can crow about their successful mobbing of the Flamingo enthusiasts of Florida.  The Flamingo enthusiast are flocking together for a rally in opposition to this truce.  They contend that the new funding for migratory preserves will negatively impact the commercial flow of pink flamingo ornaments as living birds begin to ornament the lawns of the populace, thus negating the need for plastic flocks

Me: The democrats withdraw support for the truce in fear of retaliation at the polls by the decisive socialistic voters in FL. The tea party seeing an opportunity, strike thereby pushing the preserve bill through Congress. The new surplus of flamingo ornaments causes many stores to throw the pink hunks of plastic away. 

The criminal underworld of Miami begin collecting these trashed birds an hide illicit drugs inside them and begin shipping them to other states for sales. 

Soon police catch on and begin a flamingo hunt across the country. Lawn ornaments everywhere are not safe. 

Her: Ok.. One more... The police, routinely employing a catch and release technique with known drug transporters, were so successful in busting the flamingo drug trade, that the jails are full of prisoners.  These cages birds keep singing songs to the prosecutors in an attempt to get a deal.  But with all of the jail birds parroting the same names and methods, the value of such information is trivial.  The costs of prosecuting these criminals is sky-high.  Local politicians are furious at these exploding costs and they blame the Tea Party officials who pushed the bill through.  The various wings of the white house are forced to get involved.  In an attempt to revive the use of the pink plastic avians as lawn decorations, the first lady herself decided to place several of the birds on the west lawn.  Sadly, this made the white house look rather fowl.

And now the media can't stop tweeting about this new first family trend

Me: The excessive attention from the ornament hunt and the white house fiasco leads key institutions to begin researching why pink flamingos were ever created in the first place. Algorithms, theories, research papers...all created to answer this question. But the answer was ever elusive, so before real flamingos became extinct for trophy hunters researchers began focusing on the dodo in an attempt to find correlations. 

Her: Due to the bird-brained nature of the government researchers, no answer was ever found

Me: Leaving students from all walks of academia from philosophy to law pondering the existence of flamingos. 

THE END! :-D