How many fucking people have gitub hired?

github_hire_scraper_censored_for_sensitivity.rb

require 'rubygems'
require 'activesupport'
require 'bad_ass_extensions'
require 'nokogiri'
require 'open-uri'

class GitHubber

  attr_accessor :header, :name, :date, :date_string, :links, :post
  def initialize(hash, post)
    @header = hash[:header]
    @name = hash[:name]
    @date_string = hash[:date].to_s
    @date = DateTime.parse(@date_string)
    @links = hash[:links]
    @post = post
  end
  
  def to_s
    output = <<-OUTPUT
Name: #{@name}
Hire Date: #{@date}
Links:
\t#{@links.join("\n\t")}
OUTPUT
  end
  
end

BASE_URL = 'https://github.com/blog?page='

hires = []

# Scrape the past 30 Github Blog Pages
30.times.each do |page|
  doc = Nokogiri::HTML(open(BASE_URL+page.to_s))
  posts = doc.css('li.hentry')
  posts.each do |post|
    hires << post if post.css('h2').text.downcase =~ /is a githubber/
  end
end

# Get the name, hire date, and some links
hires = hires.map do |hire|
  header =  hire.css('h2').text
  name = header.split(" is a GitHubber").first
  date = hire.css('span.published').attribute('title')
  github_links = hire.css('div.entry-content a').select{|a| a.attribute('href').to_s =~ /^https:\/\/github\.com\/([^blog])/}
  githubber = {
    :header => header,
    :name => name,
    :date => date,
    :links => github_links
  }
  # Build that githubber, biotch
  GitHubber.new(githubber, hire)
end

#  HOW MANY UNICORNY GITHUBBERS WERE UNICORNY HIRED!?!?!?!
hires.each{|h| puts h}
dates = hires.map{|h| h.date}.sort
start = dates.first
finish = dates.last
# HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN SUCKING UP ALL THE UNICORNY TALENT?!?!?!?!

time_between = Date.days_between(start.to_date, finish.to_date)

puts "Github has hired #{hires.length} talented UNICORNY people in the past #{time_between} UNICORNY days"