gistfile1.txt

My root partition mounted read only too. To fix, I ran:

blkid
to get the disk's new UUID, and then updated /etc/fstab with the new value:

cp /etc/fstab /run
vim /run/fstab 
mount --no-mtab --fstab /run/fstab -o remount,rw /
cp /run/fstab /etc
reboot
I also had to manually install a few bits:

apt-get install libapache2-mod-php7.0 php7.0-mysql mysql-client-core-5.7 mysql-server-5.7
and futz with config files.

I tried booting the 4.4 kernel, but networking didn't load, so I reverted to the 3.3 kernel for now.