Detects that you aren't using fd and calls you something insulting but not offensive... add this to your internal tools, or not idgaf

inoffensive_slur_engine.sh

#!/bin/bash

technically_not_a_slur() {
    local insults=(
        "absolute MELONHEAD"
        "a SENTIENT CABBAGE"
        "MOONFACE with empty space between ears"
        "TURNIP with a pulse"
        "PUMPKIN-headed waste of seeds"
        "SAUSAGE BRAINED WATERHEAD"
        "ROCKMELLON with less brain than one of it's seeds"
        "PLUM with a face"
        "PUDDING BRAIN with no spoon"
        "GOURD with half the seeds"
        "ZUCCHINI with eyes and less charm"
        "POTATO with thumbs"
        "BEET-HEAD with nothing inside"
        "RHUBARB with shoes"
        "CUCUMBER with less brain power"
        "GINGER ROOT with no spice"
        "PARSNIP with ambition"
        "RUTABAGA with delusions"
        "BREEZE BLOCK with feelings"
        "WALNUT with no meat inside"
    )
    echo "${insults[RANDOM % ${#insults[@]}]}"
}

command -v fd &>/dev/null || command -v fdfind &>/dev/null || {
    echo "$(technically_not_a_slur) detected — install fd"
    exit 1
}