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@jboulhous
Created February 23, 2016 18:28
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[
{
"text": "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.",
"author": "Martin Golding"
},
{
"text": "All computers wait at the same speed.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "A misplaced decimal point will always end up where it will do the greatest damage.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "A good programmer looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "\"Intel Inside\" is a Government Warning required by Law.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Common sense gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.",
"author": "Arthur Godfrey"
},
{
"text": "Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Beta is Latin for still doesn’t work.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Any fool can use a computer. Many do.",
"author": "Ted Nelson"
},
{
"text": "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.",
"author": "Martin Luther King Junior"
},
{
"text": "Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "God is real, unless declared integer.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.",
"author": "John Johnson"
},
{
"text": "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.",
"author": "Oscar Wilde"
},
{
"text": "Every piece of software written today is likely going to infringe on someone else’s patent.",
"author": "Miguel de Icaza"
},
{
"text": "Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "I have NOT lost my mind—I have it backed up on tape somewhere.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "It works on my machine.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Java is, in many ways, C++??.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. \"No\" is the answer.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "MS-DOS isn’t dead, it just smells that way.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Only half of programming is coding. The other 90% is debugging.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Pasting code from the Internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "There is no place like 127.0.0.1",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "There is nothing quite so permanent as a quick fix.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "There’s no test like production.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning \"can’t configure Debian\"",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "UNIX is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Usenet is a Mobius strand of spaghetti.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Weeks of coding can save you hours of planning.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "When your computer starts falling apart, stop hitting it with a Hammer!",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Who is General Failure? And why is he reading my disk?",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "You can stand on the shoulders of giants OR a big enough pile of dwarfs, works either way.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.",
"author": "Douglas Adams"
},
{
"text": "I think we agree, the past is over.",
"author": "George W. Bush"
},
{
"text": "In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.",
"author": "Coco Chanel"
},
{
"text": "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.",
"author": "Andy Warhol"
},
{
"text": "In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.",
"author": "Robert Frost"
},
{
"text": "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.",
"author": "Douglas Adams"
},
{
"text": "It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.",
"author": "Walt Disney"
},
{
"text": "Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.",
"author": "Chris Heilmann"
},
{
"text": "Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.",
"author": "Voltaire"
},
{
"text": "Just don’t create a file called -rf.",
"author": "Larry Wall"
},
{
"text": "Knowledge is power.",
"author": "Francis Bacon"
},
{
"text": "Let’s call it an accidental feature.",
"author": "Larry Wall"
},
{
"text": "Linux is only free if your time has no value.",
"author": "Jamie Zawinski"
},
{
"text": "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.",
"author": "Bill Gates"
},
{
"text": "Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.",
"author": "Steve Wozniak"
},
{
"text": "Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.",
"author": "Monty Python"
},
{
"text": "On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.",
"author": "Peter Steiner"
},
{
"text": "One man’s constant is another man’s variable.",
"author": "Alan J. Perlis"
},
{
"text": "Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.",
"author": "Keith Bostic"
},
{
"text": "PHP – Yeah, you know me.",
"author": "PHPaughty by PHPature"
},
{
"text": "The future is here. It is just not evenly distributed yet.",
"author": "William Gibson"
},
{
"text": "The greatest performance improvement of all is when a system goes from not-working to working.",
"author": "John Ousterhout"
},
{
"text": "Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.",
"author": "Linus Torvalds"
},
{
"text": "Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted.",
"author": "Chinese Proverb"
},
{
"text": "Stay hungry, stay foolish.",
"author": "Whole Earth Catalog"
},
{
"text": "The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist.",
"author": "Novalis"
},
{
"text": "The only \"intuitive\" interface is the nipple. After that it’s all learned.",
"author": "Bruce Ediger"
},
{
"text": "The only completely consistent people are the dead.",
"author": "Aldous Huxley"
},
{
"text": "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.",
"author": "Unknown Author"
},
{
"text": "The three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris.",
"author": "Larry Wall"
},
{
"text": "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.",
"author": "Douglas Adams"
},
{
"text": "When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code.",
"author": "Richard Pattis"
},
{
"text": "When in doubt, leave it out.",
"author": "Joshua Bloch"
},
{
"text": "Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.",
"author": "Edward V Berard"
},
{
"text": "We cannot learn without pain.",
"author": "Aristotle"
},
{
"text": "We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas.",
"author": "Steve Jobs"
},
{
"text": "You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea.",
"author": "Medgar Evers"
},
{
"text": "You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.",
"author": "Scott Adams"
},
{
"text": "You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.",
"author": "Friedrich Nietzsche"
},
{
"text": "Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty \"text\" file.",
"author": "Louis Srygley"
},
{
"text": "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.",
"author": "Dan Salomon"
},
{
"text": "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.",
"author": "Wayne Gretzky"
},
{
"text": "One of the biggest problems that software developers face is that technology changes rapidly. It is very hard to stay current.",
"author": "Vivek Wadhwa"
},
{
"text": "Ideas want to be ugly.",
"author": "Jason Santa Maria"
},
{
"text": "Developer: an organism that turns coffee into code.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "One man´s crappy software is another man´s full time job.",
"author": "Jessica Gaston"
},
{
"text": "It´s okay to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn´t need to figure out code. You should be able to read it.",
"author": "Steve McConnell"
},
{
"text": "Programming languages, like pizzas, come in only two sizes: too big and too small.",
"author": "Richard Pattis"
},
{
"text": "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.",
"author": "Rich Cook"
},
{
"text": "Plan to throw one (implementation) away; you will, anyhow.",
"author": "Fred Brooks"
},
{
"text": "Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer´s personal itch",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away.",
"author": "Antoine de Saint-Exupery"
},
{
"text": "Prolific programmers contribute to certain disaster.",
"author": "Niklaus Wirth"
},
{
"text": "Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined.",
"author": "Kreitzberg and Shneiderman"
},
{
"text": "It´s better to wait for a productive programmer to become available than it is to wait for the first available programmer to become productive.",
"author": "Steve McConnell"
},
{
"text": "An organization that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only.",
"author": "Bjarne Stroustrup"
},
{
"text": "Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.",
"author": "Larry Wall"
},
{
"text": "The key to performance is elegance, not battalions of special cases.",
"author": "Jon Bentley, Doug McIlroy"
},
{
"text": "Inside every large program, there is a program trying to get out.",
"author": "C.A.R. Hoare"
},
{
"text": "Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over?",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we´ve finished building it. ",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "A good way to stay flexible is to write less code.",
"author": "Pragmatic Programmer"
},
{
"text": "No matter what the problem is, it´s always a people problem.",
"author": "Gerald M. Weinberg"
},
{
"text": "Every big computing disaster has come from taking too many ideas and putting them in one place.",
"author": "Gordon Bell"
},
{
"text": "Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later!",
"author": "Fred Brooks"
},
{
"text": "The best way to get a project done faster is to start sooner",
"author": "Jim Highsmith"
},
{
"text": "Even the best planning is not so omniscient as to get it right the first time.",
"author": "Fred Brooks"
},
{
"text": "All you need is love. But a new pair of shoes never hurt anybody.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "The best revenge is massive success.",
"author": "Frank Sinatra"
},
{
"text": "Reality itself is too obvious to be true.",
"author": "Jean Baudrillard"
},
{
"text": "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.",
"author": "Oscar Wilde"
},
{
"text": "Let me just change this one line of code…",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Fast, Good, Cheap. Pick two.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Did you know? The collective noun for a group of programmers is a merge-conflict.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "If there is no struggle, there is no progress.",
"author": "Frederick Douglass"
},
{
"text": "You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "When the solution is simple, God is answering.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "If you can´t explain it simply, you don´t understand it well enough.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "If the facts don´t fit the theory, change the facts.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.",
"author": "Albert Einstein"
},
{
"text": "I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself.",
"author": "Winston S. Churchill?"
},
{
"text": "Men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other resources.",
"author": "Abba Eban"
},
{
"text": "If you´re going through hell, keep going.",
"author": "Unknown"
},
{
"text": "Success is not forever and failure isn´t fatal.",
"author": "Don Shula"
},
{
"text": "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.",
"author": "Mark Twain"
},
{
"text": "The secret of getting ahead is getting started.",
"author": "Mark Twain"
},
{
"text": "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.",
"author": "Mark Twain"
},
{
"text": "Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.",
"author": "Mark Twain"
},
{
"text": "Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.",
"author": "Dwight D. Eisenhower"
},
{
"text": "Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.",
"author": "Will Ferrell"
},
{
"text": "I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I´ve invented.",
"author": "R. Buckminster Fuller"
},
{
"text": "The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.",
"author": "Muriel Siebert"
},
{
"text": "If you can't write it down in English, you can't code it.",
"author": "Peter Halpern"
},
{
"text": "Suspicion is healthy. It’ll keep you alive.",
"author": "Laurell K. Hamilton"
},
{
"text": "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.",
"author": "Faith Resnick"
},
{
"text": "If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.",
"author": "Dick Cavett"
},
{
"text": "Sometimes I think we´re alone in the universe & sometimes I think we´re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering",
"author": "Arthur C. Clarke"
},
{
"text": "Talk is cheap, show me the code!",
"author": "Linus Torvalds"
},
{
"text": "They did not know it was impossible, so they did it!",
"author": "Mark Twain"
},
{
"text": "You are what you share.",
"author": "Charles Leadbeater"
},
{
"text": "You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns?",
"author": "Larry Wall"
},
{
"text": "The Internet? Is that thing still around?",
"author": "Homer Simpson"
},
{
"text": "The journey is the destination.",
"author": "Dan Eldon"
},
{
"text": "OO programming offers a sustainable way to write spaghetti code. It lets you accrete programs as a series of patches.",
"author": "Paul Graham"
},
{
"text": "Ruby is rubbish! PHP is phpantastic!",
"author": "Nikita Popov"
},
{
"text": "So long and thanks for all the fish!",
"author": "Douglas Adams"
},
{
"text": "If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.",
"author": "Cicero"
},
{
"text": "The best reaction to \"this is confusing, where are the docs\" is to rewrite the feature to make it less confusing, not write more docs.",
"author": "Jeff Atwood"
},
{
"text": "The older I get, the more I believe that the only way to become a better programmer is by not programming.",
"author": "Jeff Atwood"
},
{
"text": "\"That hardly ever happens\" is another way of saying \"it happens\".",
"author": "Douglas Crockford"
},
{
"text": "Hello, PHP, my old friend.",
"author": "Anna Debenham"
},
{
"text": "Organizations which design systems are constrained to produce designs which are copies of the communication structures of these organizations.",
"author": "Melvin Conway"
},
{
"text": "In design, complexity is toxic.",
"author": "Melvin Conway"
},
{
"text": "Good is the enemy of great, but great is the enemy of shipped.",
"author": "Jeffrey Zeldman"
},
{
"text": "Don't make the user provide information that the system already knows.",
"author": "Rick Lemons"
},
{
"text": "You're bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything.",
"author": "Donald E. Knuth"
},
{
"text": "If the programmers like each other, they play a game called 'pair programming'. And if not then the game is called 'peer review'.",
"author": "Anna Nachesa"
},
{
"text": "Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability.",
"author": "Edsger W. Dijkstra"
},
{
"text": "Focus on WHY instead of WHAT in your code will make you a better developer",
"author": "Jordi Boggiano"
},
{
"text": "The best engineers I know are artists at heart. The best designers I know are secretly technicians as well.",
"author": "Andrei Herasimchuk"
},
{
"text": "Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any other factor.",
"author": "Barry Boehm"
},
{
"text": "If you can't deploy your services independently then they aren't microservices.",
"author": "Daniel Bryant"
},
{
"text": "If you can't deploy your services independently then they aren't microservices.",
"author": "Daniel Bryant"
},
{
"text": "No one hates software more than software developers.",
"author": "Jeff Atwood"
},
{
"text": "The proper use of comments is to compensate for our failure to express ourself in code.",
"author": "Robert C. Martin"
},
{
"text": "Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it's bad.",
"author": "Cory House"
},
{
"text": "Fix the cause, not the symptom.",
"author": "Steve Maguire"
},
{
"text": "Programmers are constantly making things more complicated than they need to be BECAUSE FUTURE. Fuck the future. Program for today.",
"author": "David Heinemeier Hansson"
},
{
"text": "People will realize that software is not a product; you use it to build a product.",
"author": "Linus Torvalds"
},
{
"text": "Design is choosing how you will fail.",
"author": "Ron Fein"
},
{
"text": "Focus is saying no to 1000 good ideas.",
"author": "Steve Jobs"
},
{
"text": "Code never lies, comments sometimes do.",
"author": "Ron Jeffries"
}
]
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