jellybob · December 18, 2015 23:08
diff --git a/gistfile1.txt b/gistfile1.txt
 Good day to you sirs and madams,

 I've been asked via Twitter by Danny on your customer support team to make a formal complaint. Presumably contacting you via Twitter wasn't considered formal enough. I shall endeavour to make sure we've been introduced and bow correctly next time.

 On Saturday the 15th of June a large parcel was delivered to my address, 20 Middle Hill, despite the label on said parcel saying 20 Egham Hill. Well, I say it was delivered. Others might say it was unceremoniously dumped outside the front door in the rain.

 At 1:20pm on that day I rang your customer support phone line, but everyone goes home at 1pm on a Saturday. In exasperation I had a quick moan about it on Twitter. They're used to me moaning about your service since almost every delivery results in the driver not finding my house for several attempts, or just plain not turning up.

 On Monday Danny sent me a message, suggesting that if I got in touch he could arrange for the parcel to be picked up. Success! A customer service triumph!

 Two days later, on Wednesday, I got a phone call from your depot asking when would be a good time to come and collect the rogue bridge table. I explained that the next day would be good, and I was told that would be arranged.

 Thursday came, and nothing happened. No collection. Maybe your driver got lost again. On Friday I got another message from Danny, "The driver is on his way to you to collect the parcel today."

 You might want to check up on that driver. He hasn't arrived yet. Maybe he's at the side of the M25 somewhere, having to subsist on cardboard packaging, desperately hoping someone will notice he's missing.

 Yesterday I was told again by Danny that he was going to chase it up. In the evening I gave him the times I was in today, and suggested he let the depot know they could pick up the bridge table.

 Finally today, Danny himself suggested I send a formal complaint, so that he could see it gets addressed immediately. Strangely he suggested I should send it to this address - "[email protected]". I think someone at your company has a misunderstanding of how "twitter @ replies" are meant to work.

 You have until this Saturday to pick up the bridge table. After that I'm having a bonfire.

 Yours formally,
 Jon Wood
	Good day to you sirs and madams,

	I've been asked via Twitter by Danny on your customer support team to make a formal complaint. Presumably contacting you via Twitter wasn't considered formal enough. I shall endeavour to make sure we've been introduced and bow correctly next time.

	On Saturday the 15th of June a large parcel was delivered to my address, 20 Middle Hill, despite the label on said parcel saying 20 Egham Hill. Well, I say it was delivered. Others might say it was unceremoniously dumped outside the front door in the rain.

	At 1:20pm on that day I rang your customer support phone line, but everyone goes home at 1pm on a Saturday. In exasperation I had a quick moan about it on Twitter. They're used to me moaning about your service since almost every delivery results in the driver not finding my house for several attempts, or just plain not turning up.

	On Monday Danny sent me a message, suggesting that if I got in touch he could arrange for the parcel to be picked up. Success! A customer service triumph!

	Two days later, on Wednesday, I got a phone call from your depot asking when would be a good time to come and collect the rogue bridge table. I explained that the next day would be good, and I was told that would be arranged.

	Thursday came, and nothing happened. No collection. Maybe your driver got lost again. On Friday I got another message from Danny, "The driver is on his way to you to collect the parcel today."

	You might want to check up on that driver. He hasn't arrived yet. Maybe he's at the side of the M25 somewhere, having to subsist on cardboard packaging, desperately hoping someone will notice he's missing.

	Yesterday I was told again by Danny that he was going to chase it up. In the evening I gave him the times I was in today, and suggested he let the depot know they could pick up the bridge table.

	Finally today, Danny himself suggested I send a formal complaint, so that he could see it gets addressed immediately. Strangely he suggested I should send it to this address - "[email protected]". I think someone at your company has a misunderstanding of how "twitter @ replies" are meant to work.

	You have until this Saturday to pick up the bridge table. After that I'm having a bonfire.

	Yours formally,
	Jon Wood