finnegan.txt

James Joyce



Finnegans Wake
Sources : Finwake.com; Finnegans Web.



Paris, 2011
Book I
   Chapter 1




   riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay,
brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle
and Environs.
    Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passencore
rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of
Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor had topsawyer's
rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Laurens County's
gorgios while they went doublin their mumper all the time: nor avoice
from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to tauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet,
though venissoon after, had a kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not
yet, though all's fair in vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone
nathandjoe. Rot a peck of pa's malt had Jhem or Shen brewed by
arclight and rory end to the regginbrow was to be seen ringsome on the
aquaface.

    The                                                                 fall
(bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntro
varrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!) of a once wallstrait
oldparr is retaled early in bed and later on life down through all christian
minstrelsy. The great fall of the offwall entailed at such short notice the
pftjschute of Finnegan, erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of
humself prumptly sends an unquiring one well to the west in quest of
his tumptytumtoes: and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock
out in the park where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green
since devlinsfirst loved livvy.

    What clashes here of wills gen wonts, oystrygods gaggin fishygods!
Brékkek Kékkek Kékkek Kékkek! Kóax Kóax Kóax! Ualu Ualu Ualu!
Quaouauh! Where the Baddelaries partisans are still out to mathmaster
Malachus Micgranes and the Verdons catapelting the camibalistics out
of the Whoyteboyce of Hoodie Head. Assiegates and boomeringstroms.
Sod's brood, be me fear! Sanglorians, save! Arms apeal with larms,
appalling. Killykillkilly: a toll, a toll. What chance cuddleys, what
cashels aired and ventilated! What bidimetoloves sinduced by what
tegotetabsolvers! What true feeling for their's hayair with what strawng
voice of false jiccup! O here here how hoth sprowled met the duskt the
father of fornicationists but, (O my shining stars and body!) how hath
fanespanned most high heaven the skysign of soft advertisement! But
was iz? Iseut? Ere were sewers? The oaks of ald now they lie in peat yet
elms leap where askes lay. Phall if you but will, rise you must: and none
so soon either shall the pharce for the nunce come to a setdown secular
phoenish.

    Bygmester Finnegan, of the Stuttering Hand, freemen's maurer,
lived in the broadest way immarginable in his rushlit toofarback for
messuages before joshuan judges had given us numbers or Helviticus
committed deuteronomy (one yeastyday he sternely struxk his tete in a
tub for to watsch the future of his fates but ere he swiftly stook it out
again, by the might of moses, the very water was eviparated and all the
guenneses had met their exodus so that ought to show you what a
pentschanjeuchy chap he was!) and during mighty odd years this man of
hod, cement and edifices in Toper's Thorp piled buildung supra
buildung pon the banks for the livers by the Soangso. He addle liddle
phifie Annie ugged the little craythur. Wither hayre in honds tuck up
your part inher. Oftwhile balbulous, mithre ahead, with goodly trowel in
grasp and ivoroiled overalls which he habitacularly fondseed, like
Haroun Childeric Eggeberth he would caligulate by multiplicables the
alltitude and malltitude until he seesaw by neatlight of the liquor
wheretwin 'twas born, his roundhead staple of other days to rise in
undress maisonry upstanded (joygrantit!), a waalworth of a skyerscape
of most eyeful hoyth entowerly, erigenating from next to nothing and
celescalating the himals and all, hierarchitectitiptitoploftical, with a
burning bush abob off its baubletop and with larrons o'toolers clittering
up and tombles a'buckets clottering down.

    Of the first was he to bare arms and a name: Wassaily Booslaeugh
of Riesengeborg. His crest of huroldry, in vert with ancillars, troublant,
argent, a hegoak, poursuivant, horrid, horned. His scutschum fessed,
with archers strung, helio, of the second. Hootch is for husbandman
handling his hoe. Hohohoho, Mister Finn, you're going to be Mister
Finnagain! Comeday morm and, O, you're vine! Sendday's eve and, ah,
you're vinegar! Hahahaha, Mister Funn, you're going to be fined again!

    What then agentlike brought about that tragoady thundersday this
municipal sin business? Our cubehouse still rocks as earwitness to the
thunder of his arafatas but we hear also through successive ages that
shebby choruysh of unkalified muzzlenimiissilehims that would
blackguardise the whitestone ever hurtleturtled out of heaven. Stay us
wherefore in our search for tighteousness, O Sustainer, what time we
rise and when we take up to toothmick and before we lump down
upown our leatherbed and in the night and at the fading of the stars! For
a nod to the nabir is better than wink to the wabsanti. Otherways
wesways like that provost scoffing bedoueen the jebel and the jpysian
sea. Cropherb the crunchbracken shall decide. Then we'll know if the
feast is a flyday. She has a gift of seek on site and she allcasually ansars
helpers, the dreamydeary. Heed! Heed! It may half been a missfired
brick, as some say, or it mought have been due to a collupsus of his
back promises, as others looked at it. (There extand by now one
thousand and one stories, all told, of the same). But so sore did abe ite
ivvy's holired abbles, (what with the wallhall's horrors of rollsrights,
carhacks, stonengens, kisstvanes, tramtrees, fargobawlers, autokinotons,
hippohobbilies, streetfleets, tournintaxes, megaphoggs, circuses and
wardsmoats and basilikerks and aeropagods and the hoyse and the
jollybrool and the peeler in the coat and the mecklenburk bitch bite at
his ear and the merlinburrow burrocks and his fore old porecourts, the
bore the more, and his blightblack workingstacks at twelvepins a dozen
and the noobibusses sleighding along Safetyfirst Street and the
derryjellybies snooping around Tell-No-Tailors' Corner and the fumes
and the hopes and the strupithump of his ville's indigenous
romekeepers, homesweepers, domecreepers, thurum and thurum in
fancymud murumd and all the uproor from all the aufroofs, a roof for
may and a reef for hugh butt under his bridge suits tony) wan warning
Phill filt tippling full. His howd feeled heavy, his hoddit did shake.
(There was a wall of course in erection) Dimb! He stottered from the
latter. Damb! he was dud. Dumb! Mastabatoom, mastabadtomm, when
a mon merries his lute is all long. For whole the world to see.

    Shize? I should shee! Macool, Macool, orra whyi deed ye diie? of a
trying thirstay mournin? Sobs they sighdid at Fillagain's chrissormiss
wake, all the hoolivans of the nation, prostrated in their consternation
and their duodisimally profusive plethora of ululation. There was
plumbs and grumes and cheriffs and citherers and raiders and cinemen
too. And the all gianed in with the shoutmost shoviality. Agog and
magog and the round of them agrog. To the continuation of that
celebration until Hanandhunigan's extermination! Some in kinkin
corass, more, kankan keening. Belling him up and filling him down.
He's stiff but he's steady is Priam Olim! 'Twas he was the dacent
gaylabouring youth. Sharpen        his pillowscone, tap up his bier!
E'erawhere in this whorl would ye hear sich a din again? With their
deepbrow fundigs and the dusty fidelios. They laid him brawdawn
alanglast bed. With a bockalips       of finisky fore his feet. And a
barrowload of guenesis hoer his head. Tee the tootal of the fluid hang
the twoddle of the fuddled, O!

    Hurrah, there is but young gleve for the owl globe wheels in view
which is tautaulogically the same thing. Well, Him a being so on the
flounder of his bulk like an overgrown babeling, let wee peep, see, at
Hom, well, see peegee ought he ought, platterplate. Hum! From
Shopalist to Bailywick or from ashtun to baronoath or from
Buythebanks to Roundthehead or from the foot of the bill to ireglint's
eye he calmly extensolies. And all the way (a horn!) from fiord to fjell
his baywinds' oboboes shall wail him rockbound (hoahoahoah!) in
swimswamswum and all the livvylong night, the delldale dalppling
night, the night of bluerybells, her flittaflute in tricky trochees (O
carina! O carina!) wake him. With her issavan essavans and her
patterjackmartins about all them inns and ouses. Tilling a teel of a tum,
telling a toll of a teary turty Taubling. Grace before Glutton. For what
we are, gifs a gross if we are, about to believe. So pool the begg and
pass the kish for crawsake. Omen. So sigh us. Grampupus is fallen
down but grinny sprids the boord. Whase on the joint of a desh?
Finfoefom the Fush. Whase be his baken head? A loaf of Singpantry's
Kennedy bread. And whase hitched to the hop in his tayle? A glass of
Danu U'Dunnell's foamous olde Dobbelin ayle. But, lo, as you would
quaffoff his fraudstuff and sink teeth through that pyth of a flowerwhite
bodey behold of him as behemoth for he is noewhemoe. Finiche! Only a
fadograph of a yestern scene. Almost rubicund Salmosalar, ancient
fromout the ages of the Agapemonides, he is smoltenin our mist,
woebecanned and packt away. So that meal's dead off for summan,
schlook, schlice and goodridhirring.

    Yet may we not see still the brontoichthyan form outlined
aslumbered, even in our own nighttime by the sedge of the troutling
stream that Bronto loved and Brunto has a lean on. Hiccubat edilis.
Apud libertinam parvulam. Whatif she be in flags or flitters, reekierags
or sundyechosies, with a mint of mines or beggar a pinnyweight. Arrah,
sure, we all love little Anny Ruiny, or, we mean to say, lovelittle Anna
Rayiny, when unda her brella, mid piddle med puddle, she ninnygoes
nannygoes nancing by. Yoh! Brontolone slaaps, yoh snoores. Upon
Benn Heather, in Seeple Isout too. The cranic head on him, caster of his
reasons, peer yuthner in yondmist. Whooth? His clay feet, swarded in
verdigrass, stick up starck where he last fellonem, by the mund of the
magazine wall, where our maggy seen all, with her sisterin shawl. While
over against this belles' alliance beyind Ill Sixty, ollollowed ill! bagsides
of the fort, bom, tarabom, tarabom, lurk the ombushes, the site of the
lyffing-in-wait of the upjock and hockums. Hence when the clouds roll
by, jamey, a proudseye view is enjoyable of our mounding's mass, now
Wallinstone national museum, with, in some greenish distance, the
charmful waterloose country and the two quitewhite villagettes who
hear show of themselves so gigglesomes minxt the follyages, the
prettilees! Penetrators are permitted into the museomound free. Welsh
and the Paddy Patkinses, one shelenk! Redismembers invalids of old
guard find poussepousse pousseypram to sate the sort of their butt. For
her passkey supply to the janitrix, the mistress Kathe. Tip.

    This the way to the museyroom. Mind your hats goan in! Now yiz
are in the Willingdone Museyroom. This is a Prooshious gunn. This is a
ffrinch. Tip. This is the flag of the Prooshious, the Cap and Soracer.
This is the bullet that byng the flag of the Prooshious. This is the ffrinch
that fire on the Bull that bang the flag of the Prooshious. Saloos the
Crossgunn! Up with your pike and fork! Tip. (Bullsfoot! Fine!) This is
the triplewon hat of Lipoleum. Tip. Lipoleumhat. This is the
Willingdone on his same white harse, the Cokenhape. This is the big
Sraughter Willingdone, grand and magentic in his goldtin spurs and his
ironed dux and his quarterbrass woodyshoes and his magnate's gharters
and his bangkok's best and goliar's goloshes and his pulluponeasyan
wartrews. This is his big wide harse. Tip. This is the three lipoleum
boyne grouching down in the living detch. This is an inimyskilling
inglis, this is a scotcher grey, this is a davy, stooping. This is the bog
lipoleum mordering the lipoleum beg. A Gallawghurs argaumunt. This
is the petty lipoleum boy that was nayther bag nor bug. Assaye, assaye!
Touchole Fitz Tuomush. Dirty MacDyke. And Hairy O'Hurry. All of
them arminus-varminus. This is Delian alps. This is Mont Tivel, this is
Mont Tipsey, this is the Grand Mons Injun. This is the crimealine of the
alps hooping to sheltershock the three lipoleums. This is the jinnies with
their legahorns feinting to read in their handmade's book of stralegy
while making their war undisides the Willingdone. The jinnies is a
cooin her hand and the jinnies is a ravin her hair and the Willingdone git
the band up. This is big Willingdone mormorial tallowscoop
Wounderworker obscides on the flanks of the jinnies. Sexcaliber
hrosspower. Tip. This is me Belchum sneaking his phillippy out of his
most Awful Grimmest Sunshat Cromwelly. Looted. This is the jinnies'
hastings dispatch for to irrigate the Willingdone. Dispatch in thin red
lines cross the shortfront of me Belchum. Yaw, yaw, yaw! Leaper
Orthor. Fear siecken! Fieldgaze thy tiny frow. Hugacting. Nap. That
was the tictacs of the jinnies for to fontannoy the Willingdone. Shee,
shee, shee! The jinnies is jillous agincourting all the lipoleums. And the
lipoleums is gonn boycottoncrezy onto the one Willingdone. And the
Willingdone git the band up. This is bode Belchum, bonnet to busby,
breaking his secred word with a ball up his ear to the Willingdone. This
is the Willingdone's hurold dispitchback. Dispitch desployed on the
regions rare of me Belchum. Salamangra! Ayi, ayi, ayi! Cherry jinnies.
Figtreeyou! Damn fairy ann, Voutre. Willingdone. That was the first
joke of Willingdone, tic for tac. Hee, hee, hee! This is me Belchum in
his twelvemile cowchooks, weet, tweet and stampforth foremost,
footing the camp for the jinnies. Drink a sip, drankasup, for he's as
sooner buy a guinness than he'd stale store stout. This is Rooshious
balls. This is a ttrinch. This is mistletropes. This is Canon Futter with
the popynose. After his hundred days' indulgence. This is the blessed.
Tarra's widdars! This is jinnies in the bonny bawn blooches. This is
lipoleums in the rowdy howses. This is the Willingdone, by the splinters
of Cork, order fire. Tonnerre! (Bullsear! Play!) This is camelry, this is
floodens, this is the solphereens in action, this is their mobbily, this is
panickburns. Almeidagad! Arthiz too loose! This is Willingdone cry.
Brum! Brum! Cumbrum! This is jinnies cry. Underwetter! Goat strip
Finnlambs! This is jinnies rinning away to their ousterlists dowan a
bunkersheels. With a nip nippy nip and a trip trippy trip so airy. For
their heart's right there. Tip. This is me Belchum's tinkyou tankyou
silvoor plate for citchin the crapes in the cool of his canister. Poor the
pay! This is the bissmark of the marathon merry of the jinnies they left
behind them. This is the Willingdone branlish his same marmorial
tallowscoop SophyKey-Po for his royal divorsion on the rinnaway
jinnies. Gambariste della porca! Dalaveras fimmieras! This is the
pettiest of the lipoleums, Toffeethief, that spy on the Willingdone from
his big white harse, the Capeinhope. Stonewall Willingdone is an old
maxy montrumeny. Lipoleums is nice hung bushellors. This is hiena
hinnessy laughing alout at the Willingdone. This is lipsyg dooley
krieging the funk from the hinnessy. This is the hinndoo Shimar Shin
between the dooley boy and the hinnessy. Tip. This is the wixy old
Willingdone picket up the half of the threefoiled hat of lipoleums
fromoud of the bluddle filth. This is the hinndoo waxing ranjymad for a
bombshoob. This is the Willingdone hanking the half of the hat of
lipoleums up the tail on the buckside of his big white harse. Tip. That
was the last joke of Willingdone. Hit, hit, hit! This is the same white
harse of the Willingdone, Culpenhelp, waggling his tailoscrupp with the
half of a hat of lipoleums to insoult on the hinndoo seeboy. Hney, hney,
hney! (Bullsrag! Foul!) This is the seeboy, madrashattaras, upjump and
pumpim, cry to the Willingdone: Ap Pukkaru! Pukka Yurap! This is the
Willingdone, bornstable ghentleman, tinders his maxbotch to the
cursigan Shimar Shin. Basucker youstead! This is the dooforhim seeboy
blow the whole of the half of the hat of lipoleums off of the top of the
tail on the back of his big wide harse. Tip (Bullseye! Game!) How
Copenhagen ended. This way the museyroom. Mind your boots goan
out.

       Phew!
    What a warm time we were in there but how keling is here the
airabouts! We nowhere she lives but you mussna tell annaone for the
lamp of Jig-a-Lanthern! It's a candlelittle houthse of a month and one
windies.    Downadown,        High     Downadown.        And     nummered
quaintlymine. And such reasonable weather too! The wagrant wind's
awalt'zaround the piltdowns and on every blasted knollyrock (if you can
spot fifty I spy four more) there's that gnarlybird ygathering, a runalittle,
doalittle, preealittle, pouralittle, wipealittle, kicksalittle, severalittle,
eatalittle, whinealittle, kenalittle, helfalittle, pelfalittle gnarlybird. A
verytableland of bleakbardfields! Under his seven wrothschields lies
one, Lumproar. His glav toside him. Skud ontorsed. Our pigeons pair
are flewn for northcliffs. The three of crows have flapped it southenly,
kraaking of de baccle to the kvarters of that sky whence triboos answer;
Wail, 'tis well! She niver comes out when Thon's on shower or when
Thon's flash with his Nixy girls or when Thon's blowing toomcracks
down the gaels of Thon. No nubo no! Neblas on you liv! Her would be
too moochy afreet. Of Burymeleg and Bindmerollingeyes and all the
deed in the woe. Fe fo fom! She jist does hopes till byes will be byes.
Here, and it goes on to appear now, she comes, a peacefugle, a parody's
bird, a peri potmother, a pringlpik in the ilandiskippy, with peewee and
powwows in beggybaggy on her bickybacky and a flick flask
fleckflinging its pixylighting pacts' huemeramybows, picking here,
pecking there, pussypussy plunderpussy. But it's the armitides toonigh,
militopucos, and toomourn we wish for a muddy kissmans to the
minutia workers and there's to be a gorgeups truce for happinest
childher everwere. Come nebo me and suso sing the day we sallybright.
She's burrowed the coacher's headlight the better to pry (who goes cute
goes siocur and shoos aroun) and all spoiled goods go into her nabsack:
curtrages and rattlin buttins, nappy spattees and flasks of all nations,
clavicures and scampulars, maps, keys and woodpiles of haypennies and
moonled brooches with bloodstaned breeks in em, boaston nightgarters
and masses of shoesets and nickelly nacks and foder allmicheal and a
lugly parson of cates and howitzer muchears and midgers and maggets,
ills and ells with loffs of toffs and pleures of bells and the last sigh that
come fro the hart (bucklied!) and the fairest sin the sunsaw (that's
cearc!). With Kiss. Kiss Criss. Cross Criss. Kiss Cross. Undo lives 'end.
Slain.

    How bootifull and how truetowife of her, when strengly forebidden,
to steal our historic presents from the past postpropheticals so as to will
make us all lordyheirs and ladymaidesses of a pretty nice kettle of fruit.
She is livving in our midst of debt and laffing through all plores for us
(her birth is uncontrollable), with a naperon for her mask and her
sabboes kickin arias (so sair! so solly!) if yous ask me and I saack you.
Hou! Hou! Gricks may rise and Troysirs fall (there being two sights for
ever a picture) for in the byways of high improvidence that's what
makes lifework leaving and the world's a cell for citters to cit in. Let
young wimman run away with the story and let young min talk smooth
behind the butteler's back. She knows her knight's duty while Luntum
sleeps. Did ye save any tin? says he. Did I what? with a grin says she.
And we all like a marriedann because she is mercenary. Though the
length of the land lies under liquidation (floote!) and there's nare a
hairbrow nor an eyebush on this glaubrous phace of Herrschuft
Whatarwelter she'll loan a vesta and hire some peat and sarch the shores
her cockles to heat and she'll do all a turfwoman can to piff the business
on. Paff. To puff the blaziness on. Poffpoff. And even if Humpty shell
fall frumpty times as awkward again in the beardsboosoloom of all our
grand remonstrancers there'll be iggs for the brekkers come to
mournhim, sunny side up with care. So true is it that therewhere's a
turnover the tay is wet too and when you think you ketch sight of a hind
make sure but you're cocked by a hin.

    Then as she is on her behaviourite job of quainance bandy, fruting
for firstlings and taking her tithe, we may take our review of the two
mounds to see nothing of the himples here as at elsewhere, by sixes and
sevens, like so many heegills and collines, sitton aroont, scentbreeched
ant somepotreek, in their swishawish satins and their taffetaffe tights,
playing Wharton's Folly, at a treepurty on the planko in the purk. Stand
up, mickos! Make strake for minnas! By order, Nicholas Proud. We
may see and hear nothing if we choose of the shortlegged bergins off
Corkhill or the bergamoors of Arbourhill or the bergagambols of
Summerhill or the bergincellies of Miseryhill or the countrybossed
bergones of Constitutionhill though every crowd has its several tones
and every trade has its clever mechanics and each harmonical has a
point of its own, Olaf's on the rise and Ivor's on the lift and Sitric's
place's between them. But all they are all there scraping along to sneeze
out a likelihood that will solve and salve life's robulous rebus, hopping
round his middle like kippers on a griddle, O, as he lays dormont from
the macroborg of Holdhard to the microbirg of Pied de Poudre. Behove
this sound of Irish sense. Really? Here English might be seen. Royally?
One sovereign punned to petery pence. Regally? The silence speaks the
scene. Fake!

    So This Is Dyoublong?

    Hush! Caution! Echoland!

    How charmingly exquisite! It reminds you of the outwashed
engravure that we used to be blurring on the blotchwall of his innkempt
house. Used they? (I am sure that tiring chabelshoveller with the
mujikal chocolat box, Miry Mitchel, is listening) I say, the remains of
the outworn gravemure where used to be blurried the Ptollmens of the
Incabus. Used we? (He is only pretendant to be stugging at the jubalee
harp from a second existed lishener, Fiery Farrelly.) It is well known.
Lokk for himself and see the old butte new. Dbln. W. K. O. O. Hear?
By the mausolime wall. Fimfim fimfim. With a grand funferall.
Fumfum fumfum. 'Tis optophone which ontophanes. List! Wheatstone's
magic lyer. They will be tuggling foriver. They will be lichening for
allof. They will be pretumbling forover. The harpsdischord shall be
theirs for ollaves.

    Four things therefore, saith our herodotary Mammon Lujius in his
grand old historiorum, wrote near Boriorum, bluest book in baile's
annals, f. t. in Dyffinarsky ne'er sall fail tilheathersmoke and cloudweed
Eire's ile sall pall. And here now they are, the fear of um. T. Totities!
Unum. (Adar.) A bulbenboss surmounted upon an alderman. Ay, ay!
Duum. (Nizam.) A shoe on a puir old wobban. Ah, ho! Triom. (Tamuz.)
An auburn mayde, o'brine a'bride, to be desarted. Adear, adear!
Quodlibus. (Marchessvan.) A penn no weightier nor a polepost. And so.
And all. (Succoth.)

    So, how idlers' wind turning pages on pages, as innocens with
anaclete play popeye antipop, the leaves of the living in the boke of the
deeds, annals of themselves timing the cycles of events grand and
national, bring fassilwise to pass how.

    1132 A.D. Men like to ants or emmets wondern upon a groot hwide
Whallfisk which lay in a Runnel. Blubby wares upat Ublanium.

    566 A.D. On Baalfire's night of this year after deluge a crone that
hadde a wickered Kish for to hale dead turves from the bog lookit under
the blay of her Kish as she ran for to sothisfeige her cowrieosity and be
me sawl but she found hersell sackvulle of swart goody quickenshoon
and small illigant brogues, so rich in sweat. Blurry works at
Hurdlesford.

    (Silent.)

    566 A.D. At this time it fell out that a brazenlockt damsel grieved
(sobralasolas!) because that Puppette her minion was ravisht of her by
the ogre Puropeus Pious. Bloody wars in Ballyaughacleeaghbally.
    1132. A.D. Two sons at an hour were born until a goodman and his
hag. These sons called themselves Caddy and Primas. Primas was a
santryman and drilled all decent people. Caddy went to Winehouse and
wrote o peace a farce. Blotty words for Dublin.

    Somewhere, parently, in the ginnandgo gap between antediluvious
and annadominant the copyist must have fled with his scroll. The billy
flood rose or an elk charged him or the sultrup worldwright from the
excelsissimost empyrean (bolt, in sum) earthspake or the Dannamen
gallous banged pan the bliddy duran. A scribicide then and there is led
off under old's code with some fine covered by six marks or ninepins in
metalmen for the sake of his labour's dross while it will be only now and
again in our rear of o'er era, as an upshoot of military and civil
engagements, that a gynecure was let on to the scuffold for taking that
same fine sum covertly by meddlement with the drawers of his
neighbour's safe.

    Now after all that farfatch'd and peragrine or dingnant or clere lift
we our ears, eyes of the darkness, from the tome of Liber Lividus and,
(toh!), how paisibly eirenical, all dimmering dunes and gloamering
glades, selfstretches afore us our fredeland's plain! Lean neath stone
pine the pastor lies with his crook; young pricket by pricket's sister
nibbleth on returned viridities; amaid her rocking grasses the herb trinity
shams lowliness; skyup is of evergrey. Thus, too, for donkey's years.
Since the bouts of Hebear and Hairyman the cornflowers have been
staying at Ballymun, the duskrose has choosed out Goatstown's hedges,
twolips have pressed togatherthem by sweet Rush, townland of
twinedlights, the whitethorn and the redthorn have fairygeyed the
mayvalleys of Knockmaroon, and, though for rings round them, during
a chiliad of perihelygangs, the Formoreans have brittled the tooath of
the Danes and the Oxman has been pestered by the Firebugs and the
Joynts have thrown up jerrybuilding to the Kevanses and Little on the
Green is childsfather to the City (Year! Year! And laughtears!), these
paxsealing buttonholes have quadrilled across the centuries and whiff
now whafft to us, fresh and made-of-all-smiles as, on the eve of
Killallwho.

    @The babbelers with their thangas vain have been (confusium hold
them!) they were and went; thigging thugs were and houhnhymn
songtoms were and comely norgels were and pollyfool fiansees. Menn
have thawed, clerks have surssurhummed, the blond has sought of the
brune: Elsekiss thou may, mean Kerry piggy?: and the duncledames
have countered with the hellish fellows: Who ails tongue coddeau,
aspace of dumbillsilly? And they fell upong one another: and
themselves they have fallen. And still nowanights and by nights of yore
do all bold floras of the field to their shyfaun lovers say only: Cull me
ere I wilt to thee!: and, but a little later: Pluck me whilst I blush! Well
may they wilt, marry, and profusedly blush, be troth! For that saying is
as old as the howitts. Lave a whale a while in a whillbarrow (isn't it the
truath I'm tallin ye?) to have fins and flippers that shimmy and shake.
Tim Timmycan timped hir, tampting Tam. Fleppety! Flippety! Fleapow!
   Hop!

   In the name of Anem this carl on the kopje in pelted thongs a parth a
lone who the joebiggar be he? Forshapen his pigmaid hoagshead,
shroonk his plodsfoot. He hath locktoes, this shortshins, and, Obeold
that's pectoral, his mammamuscles most mousterious. It is slaking
nuncheon out of some thing's brain pan. Me seemeth a dragon man. He
is almonthst on the kiep fief by here, is Comestipple Sacksoun, be it
junipery or febrewery, marracks or alebrill or the ramping riots of
pouriose and froriose. What a quhare soort of a mahan. It is evident the
michindaddy. Lets we overstep his fire defences and these kraals of
slitsucked marrogbones. (Cave!) He can prapsposterus the pillory way
to Hirculos pillar. Come on, fool porterfull, hosiered women blown
monk sewer? Scuse us, chorley guy! You tollerday donsk? N. You
tolkatiff scowegian? Nn. You spigotty anglease? Nnn. You phonio
saxo? Nnnn. Clear all so! 'Tis a Jute. Let us swop hats and excheck a
few strong verbs weak oach eather yapyazzard abast the blooty creeks.

   Jute. — Yutah!

   Mutt. — Mukk's pleasurad.

   Jute. — Are you jeff?

   Mutt. — Somehards.

   Jute. — But you are not jeffmute?

   Mutt. — Noho. Only an utterer.

   Jute. — Whoa? Whoat is the mutter with you?
    Mutt. — I became a stun a stummer.

    Jute. — What a hauhauhauhaudibble thing, to be cause! How,
Mutt?

    Mutt. — Aput the buttle, surd.

    Jute. — Whose poddle? Wherein?

    Mutt. — The Inns of Dungtarf where Used awe to be he.

    Jute. — You that side your voise are almost inedible to me. Become
a bitskin more wiseable, as if I were you.

    Mutt. — Has? Has at? Hasatency? Urp, Boohooru! Booru Usurp! I
trumple from rath in mine mines when I rimimirim!

    Jute. — One eyegonblack. Bisons is bisons. Let me fore all your
hasitancy cross your qualm with trink gilt. Here have sylvan coyne, a
piece of oak. Ghinees hies good for you.

    Mutt. — Louee, louee! How wooden I not know it, the intellible
greytcloak of Cedric Silkyshag! Cead mealy faulty rices for one dabblin
bar. Old grilsy growlsy! He was poached on in that eggtentical spot.
Here where the liveries, Monomark. There where the missers moony,
Minnikin passe.

    Jute. — Simply because as Taciturn pretells, our wrongstory-
shortener, he dumptied the wholeborrow of rubbages on to soil here.

    Mutt. — Just how a puddinstone inat the brookcells by a riverpool.

    Jute. — Load Allmarshy! Wid wad for a norse like?
    Mutt. — Somular with a bull on a clompturf. Rooks roarum rex
roome! I could snore to him of the spumy horn, with his woolseley side
in, by the neck I am sutton on, did Brian d' of Linn.

    Jute. — Boildoyle and rawhoney on me when I can beuraly
forsstand a weird from sturk to finnic in such a patwhat as your
rutterdamrotter. Onheard of and umscene! Gut aftermeal! See you
doomed.

    Mutt. — Quite agreem. Bussave a sec. Walk a dunblink roundward
this albutisle and you skull see how olde ye plaine of my Elters, hunfree
and ours, where wone to wail whimbrel to peewee o'er the saltings,
where wilby citie by law of isthmon, where by a droit of signory, icefloe
was from his Inn the Byggning to whose Finishthere Punct. Let erehim
ruhmuhrmuhr. Mearmerge two races, swete and brack. Morthering rue.
Hither, craching eastuards, they are in surgence: hence, cool at ebb, they
requiesce. Countlessness of livestories have netherfallen by this plage,
flick as flowflakes, litters from aloft, like a waast wizzard all of
whirlworlds. Now are all tombed to the mound, isges to isges, erde from
erde. Pride, O pride, thy prize!

    Jute. — 'Stench!

    Mutt. — Fiatfuit! Hereinunder lyethey. Llarge by the smal an'
everynight life olso th'estrange, babylone the greatgrandhotelled with tit
tit tittlehouse, alp on earwig, drukn on ild, likeas equal to anequal in this
sound seemetery which iz leebez luv.

    Jute. — 'Zmorde!
    Mutt. — Meldundleize! By the fearse wave behoughted. Despond's
sung. And thanacestross mound have swollup them all. This ourth of
years is not save brickdust and being humus the same roturns. He who
runes may rede it on all fours. O'c'stle, n'wc'stle, tr'c'stle, crumbling!
Sell me sooth the fare for Humblin! Humblady Fair. But speak it
allsosiftly, moulder! Be in your whisht!

    Jute. — Whysht?

    Mutt. — The gyant Forficules with Amni the fay.

    Jute. — Howe?

    Mutt. — Here is viceking's graab.

    Jute. — Hwaad!

    Mutt. — Ore you astoneaged, jute you?

    Jute. — Oye am thonthorstrok, thing mud.

    (Stoop) if you are abcedminded, to this claybook, what curios of
signs (please stoop), in this allaphbed! Can you rede (since We and
Thou had it out already) its world? It is the same told of all. Many.
Miscegenations on miscegenations. Tieckle. They lived und laughed ant
loved end left. Forsin. Thy thingdome is given to the Meades and
Porsons. The meandertale, aloss and again, of our old Heidenburgh in
the days when Head-in-Clouds walked the earth. In the ignorance that
implies impression that knits knowledge that finds the nameform that
whets the wits that convey contacts that sweeten sensation that drives
desire that adheres to attachment that dogs death that bitches birth that
entails the ensuance of existentiality. But with a rush out of his navel
reaching the reredos of Ramasbatham. A terricolous vivelyonview this;
queer and it continues to be quaky. A hatch, a celt, an earshare the
pourquose of which was to cassay the earthcrust at all of hours,
furrowards, bagawards, like yoxen at the turnpaht. Here say figurines
billycoose arming and mounting. Mounting and arming bellicose
figurines see here. Futhorc, this liffle effingee is for a firefing called a
flintforfall. Face at the eased! O I fay! Face at the waist! Ho, you fie!

Upwap and dump em,         ace to     ace! When a part so ptee does duty
for the holos we soon grow to use of an allforabit. Here (please to stoop)
are selveran cued peteet peas of quite a pecuniar interest inaslittle as
they are the pellets that make the tomtummy's pay roll. Right rank
ragnar rocks and with these rox orangotangos rangled rough and
rightgorong. Wisha, wisha, whydidtha? Thik is for thorn that's thuck in
its thoil like thumfool's thraitor thrust for vengeance. What a mnice old
mness it all mnakes! A middenhide hoard of objects! Olives, beets,
kimmells, dollies, alfrids, beatties, cormacks and daltons. Owlets' eegs
(O stoop to please!) are here, creakish from age and all now quite
epsilene, and oldwolldy wobblewers, haudworth a wipe o grass. Sss!
See the snake wurrums everyside! Our durlbin is sworming in sneaks.
They came to our island from triangular Toucheaterre beyond the wet
prairie rared up in the midst of the cargon of prohibitive pomefructs but
along landed Paddy Wippingham and the his garbagecans cotched the
creeps of them pricker than our whosethere outofman could quick up
her whatsthats. Somedivide and sumthelot but the tally turns round the
same balifuson. Racketeers and bottloggers.

    Axe on thwacks on thracks, axenwise. One by one place one be
three dittoh and one before. Two nursus one make a plausible free and
idim behind. Starting off with a big boaboa and threelegged calvers and
ivargraine jadesses with a message in their mouths. And a
hundreadfilled unleavenweight of liberorumqueue to con an we can till
allhorrors eve. What a meanderthalltale to unfurl and with what an end
in view of squattor and anntisquattor and postproneauntisquattor! To
say too us to be every tim, nick and larry of us, sons of the sod, sons,
littlesons, yea and lealittlesons, when usses not to be, every sue, siss and
sally of us, dugters of Nan! Accusative ahnsire! Damadam to infinities!

    True there was in nillohs dieybos as yet no lumpend papeer in the
waste, and mightmountain Penn still groaned for the micies to let flee.
All was of ancientry. You gave me a boot (signs on it!) and I ate the
wind. I quizzed you a quid (with for what?) and you went to the quod.
But the world, mind, is, was and will be writing its own wrunes for ever,
man, on all matters that fall under the ban of our infrarational senses
fore the last milchcamel, the heartvein throbbing between his
eyebrowns, has still to moor before the tomb of his cousin charmian
where his date is tethered by the palm that's hers. But the horn, the
drinking, the day of dread are not now. A bone, a pebble, a ramskin;
chip them, chap them, cut them up allways; leave them to terracook in
the muttheringpot: and Gutenmorg with his cromagnom charter,
tintingfast and great primer must once for omniboss step rubrickredd out
of the wordpress else is there no virtue more in alcohoran. For that (the
rapt one warns) is what papyr is meed of, made of, hides and hints and
misses in prints. Till ye finally (though not yet endlike) meet with the
acquaintance of Mister Typus, Mistress Tope and all the little typtopies.
Fillstup. So you need hardly spell me how every word will be bound
over to carry three score and ten toptypsical readings throughout the
book of Doublends Jined (may his forehead be darkened with mud who
would sunder!) till Daleth, mahomahouma, who oped it closeth thereof
the. Dor.

    Cry not yet! There's many a smile to Nondum, with sytty maids per
man, sir, and the park's so dark by kindlelight. But look what you have
in your handself! The movibles are scrawling in motions, marching, all
of them ago, in pitpat and zingzang for every busy eerie whig's a bit of a
torytale to tell. One's upon a thyme and two's behind their lettice leap
and three's among the strubbely beds. And the chicks picked their teeths
and the dombkey he begay began. You can ask your ass if he believes it.
And so cuddy me only wallops have heels. That one of a wife with folty
barnets. For then was the age when hoops ran high. Of a noarch and a
chopwife; of a pomme full grave and a fammy of levity; or of golden
youths that wanted gelding; or of what the mischievmiss made a man
do. Malmarriedad he was reversogassed by the frisque of her frasques
and her prytty pyrrhique. Maye faye, she's la gaye this snaky woman!
From that trippiery toe expectungpelick! Veil, volantine, valentine eyes.
She's the very besch Winnie blows Nay on good. Flou inn, flow ann.
Hohore! So it's sure it was her not we! But lay it easy, gentle mien, we
are in rearing of a norewhig. So weenybeenyveenyteeny. Comsy see!
Hetwis if ee newt. Lissom! lissom! I am doing it. Hark, the corne
entreats! And the larpnotes prittle.

    It was of a night, late, lang time agone, in an auldstane eld, when
Adam was delvin and his madameen spinning watersilts, when mulk
mountynotty man was everybully and the first leal ribberrobber that
ever had her ainway everybuddy to his lovesaking eyes and everybilly
lived alove with everybiddy else, and Jarl van Hoother had his burnt
head high up in his lamphouse, laying cold hands on himself. And his
two little jiminies, cousins of ourn, Tristopher and Hilary, were
kickaheeling their dummy on the oil cloth flure of his homerigh, castle
and earthenhouse. And, be dermot, who come to the keep of his inn only
the nieceof-his-in-law, the prankquean. And the prankquean pulled a
rosy one and made her wit foreninst the dour. And she lit up and
fireland was ablaze. And spoke she to the dour in her petty perusienne:
Mark the Wans, why do I am alook alike a poss of porterpease? And
that was how the skirtmisshes began. But the dour handworded her
grace in dootch nossow: Shut! So her grace o'malice kidsnapped up the
jiminy Tristopher and into the shandy westerness she rain, rain, rain.
And Jarl van Hoother warlessed after her with soft dovesgall: Stop deef
stop come back to my earin stop. But she swaradid to him: Unlikelihud.
And there was a brannewail that same sabboath night of falling angles
somewhere in Erio. And the prankquean went for her forty years' walk
in Tourlemonde and she washed the blessings of the lovespots off the
jiminy with soap sulliver suddles and she had her four owlers masters
for to tauch him his tickles and she convorted him to the onesure
allgood and he became a luderman. So then she started to rain and to
rain and, be redtom, she was back again at Jarl van Hoother's in a brace
of samers and the jiminy with her in her pinafrond, lace at night, at
another time. And where did she come but to the bar of his bristolry.
And Jarl von Hoother had his baretholobruised heels drowned in his
cellarmalt, shaking warm hands with himself and the jimminy Hilary
and the dummy in their first infancy were below on the tearsheet,
wringing and coughing, like brodar and histher. And the prankquean
nipped a paly one and lit up again and redcocks flew flackering from the
hillcombs. And she made her witter before the wicked, saying: Mark the
Twy, why do I am alook alike two poss of porterpease? And: Shut! says
the wicked, handwording her madesty. So her madesty aforethought set
down a jiminy and took up a jiminy and all the lilipath ways to
Woeman's Land she rain, rain, rain. And Jarl von Hoother bleethered
atter her with a loud finegale: Stop domb stop come back with my
earring stop. But the prankquean swaradid: Am liking it. And there was
a wild old grannewwail that laurency night of starshootings somewhere
in Erio. And the prankquean went for her forty years' walk in
Turnlemeem and she punched the curses of cromcruwell with the nail of
a top into the jiminy and she had her four larksical monitrix to touch
him his tears and she provorted him to the onecertain allsecure and he
became a tristian. So then she started raining, raining, and in a pair of
changers, be dom ter, she was back again at Jarl von Hoother's and the
Larryhill with her under her abromette. And why would she halt at all if
not by the ward of his mansionhome of another nice lace for the third
charm? And Jarl von Hoother had his hurricane hips up to his
pantrybox, ruminating in his holdfour stomachs (Dare! O dare!), and the
jiminy Toughertrees and the dummy were belove on the watercloth,
kissing and spitting, and roguing and poghuing, like knavepaltry and
naivebride and in their second infancy. And the prankquean picked a
blank and lit out and the valleys lay twinkling. And she made her wittest
in front of the arkway of trihump, asking: Mark the Tris, why do I am
alook alike three poss of porter pease? But that was how the skirtmishes
endupped. For like the campbells acoming with a fork lance of
lightning, Jarl von Hoother Boanerges himself, the old terror of the
dames, came hip hop handihap out through the pikeopened arkway of
his three shuttoned castles, in his broadginger hat and his civic chollar
and his allabuff hemmed and his bullbraggin soxangloves and his
ladbroke breeks and his cattegut bandolair and his fur- framed
panuncular cumbottes like a rudd yellan gruebleen orangeman in his
violet indigonation, to the whole longth of the strongth of his bowman's
bill. And he clopped his rude hand to his eacy hitch and he ordurd and
his thick spch spck for her to shut up shop, dappy. And the duppy shot
the                             shutter                             clup
(Perkodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhurthruma
thunaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun!) And they all drank free. For
one man in his armour was a fat match always for any girls under
shurts. And that was the first peace of illiterative porthery in all the
flamend floody flatuous world. How kirssy the tiler made a sweet
unclose to the Narwhealian captol. Saw fore shalt thou sea. Betoun ye
and be. The prankquean was to hold her dummyship and the jimminies
was to keep the peacewave and van Hoother was to git the wind up.
Thus the hearsomeness of the burger felicitates the whole of the polis.

    O foenix culprit! Ex nickylow malo comes mickelmassed bonum.
Hill, rill, ones in company, billeted, less be proud of. Breast high and
bestride! Only for that these will not breathe upon Norronesen or
Irenean the secrest of their soorcelossness. Quarry silex, Homfrie
Noanswa! Undy gentian festyknees, Livia Noanswa? Wolkencap is on
him, frowned; audiurient, he would evesdrip, were it mous at hand,
were it dinn of bottles in the far ear. Murk, his vales are darkling. With
lipth she lithpeth to him all to time of thuch on thuch and thow on thow.
She he she ho she ha to la. Hairfluke, if he could bad twig her!
Impalpabunt, he abhears. The soundwaves are his buffeteers; they
trompe him with their trompes; the wave of roary and the wave of
hooshed and the wave of hawhawhawrd and the wave of
neverheedthemhorseluggarsandlisteltomine.       Landloughed      by    his
neaghboormistress and perpetrified in his offsprung, sabes and suckers,
the moaning pipers could tell him to his faceback, the louthly one whose
loab we are devorers of, how butt for his hold halibutt, or her to her
pudor puff, the lipalip one whose libe we drink at, how biff for her
tiddywink of a windfall, our breed and washer givers, there would not
be a holey spier on the town nor a vestal flouting in the dock, nay to
make plein avowels, nor a yew nor an eye to play cash cash in Novo
Nilbud by swamplight nor a' toole o' tall o' toll and noddy hint to the
convaynience.

    He dug in and dug out by the skill of his tilth for himself and all
belonging to him and he sweated his crew beneath his auspice for the
living and he urned his dread, that dragon volant, and he made louse for
us and delivered us to boll weevils amain, that mighty liberator, Unfru-
Chikda-Uru-Wukru and begad he did, our ancestor most worshipful, till
he thought of a better one in his windower's house with that blushmantle
upon him from earsend to earsend. And would again could whispring
grassies wake him and may again when the fiery bird disembers. And
will again if so be sooth by elder to his youngers shall be said. Have you
whines for my wedding, did you bring bride and bedding, will you
whoop for my deading is a? Wake? Usgueadbaugham!

    Anam muck an dhoul! Did ye drink me doornail?

    Now be aisy, good Mr Finnimore, sir. And take your laysure like a
god on pension and don't be walking abroad. Sure you'd only lose
yourself in Healiopolis now the way your roads in Kapelavaster are that
winding there after the calvary, the North Umbrian and the Fivs Barrow
and Waddlings Raid and the Bower Moore and wet your feet maybe
with the foggy dew's abroad. Meeting some sick old bankrupt or the
Cottericks' donkey with his shoe hanging, clankatachankata, or a slut
snoring with an impure infant on a bench. 'Twould turn you against life,
so 'twould. And the weather's that mean too. To part from Devlin is hard
as Nugent knew, to leave the clean tanglesome one lushier than its
neighbour enfranchisable fields but let your ghost have no grievance.
You're better off, sir, where you are, primesigned in the full of your
dress, bloodeagle waistcoat and all, remembering your shapes and sizes
on the pillow of your babycurls under your sycamore by the keld water
where the Tory's clay will scare the varmints and have all you want,
pouch, gloves, flask, bricket, kerchief, ring and amberulla, the whole
treasure of the pyre, in the land of souls with Homin and Broin Baroke
and pole ole Lonan and Nobucketnozzler and the Guinnghis Khan. And
we'll be coming here, the ombre players, to rake your gravel and
bringing you presents, won't we, fenians? And it isn't our spittle we'll
stint you of, is it, druids? Not shabbty little imagettes, pennydirts and
dodgemyeyes you buy in the soottee stores. But offerings of the field.
Mieliodories, that Doctor Faherty, the madison man, taught to gooden
you. Poppypap's a passport out. And honey is the holiest thing ever was,
hive, comb and earwax, the food for glory, (mind you keep the pot or
your nectar cup may yield too light!) and some goat's milk, sir, like the
maid used to bring you. Your fame is spreading like Basilico's ointment
since the Fintan Lalors piped you overborder and there's whole
households beyond the Bothnians and they calling names after you. The
menhere's always talking of you sitting around on the pig's cheeks under
the sacred rooftree, over the bowls of memory where every hollow
holds a hallow, with a pledge till the drengs, in the Salmon House. And
admiring to our supershillelagh where the palmsweat on high is the
mark of your manument. All the toethpicks ever Eirenesians chewed on
are chips chepped from that battery block. If you were bowed and soild
and letdown itself from the oner of the load it was that paddyplanters
might pack up plenty and when you were undone in every point fore the
laps of goddesses you showed our labourlasses how to free was easy.
The game old Gunne, they do be saying, (skull!) that was a planter for
you, a spicer of them all. Begog but he was, the G.O.G! He's
duddandgunne now and we're apter finding the sores of his sedeq but
peace to his great limbs, the buddhoch, with the last league long rest of
him, while the millioncandled eye of Tuskar sweeps the Moylean Main!
There was never a warlord in Great Erinnes and Brettland, no, nor in all
Pike County like you, they say. No, nor a king nor an ardking, bung
king, sung king or hung king. That you could fell an elmstree twelve
urchins couldn't ring round and hoist high the stone that Liam failed.
Who but a Maccullaghmore the reise of our fortunes and the faunayman
at the funeral to compass our cause? If you was hogglebully itself and
most frifty like you was taken waters still what all where was your like
to lay the cable or who was the batter could better Your Grace? Mick
Mac Magnus MacCawley can take you off to the pure perfection and
Leatherbags Reynolds tries your shuffle and cut. But as Hopkins and
Hopkins puts it, you were the pale eggynaggy and a kis to tilly up. We
calls him the journeyall Buggaloffs since he went Jerusalemfaring in
Arssia Manor. You had a gamier cock than Pete, Jake or Martin and
your archgoose of geese stubbled for All Angels' Day. So may the priest
of seven worms and scalding tayboil, Papa Vestray, come never anear
you as your hair grows wheater beside the Liffey that's in Heaven! Hep,
hep, hurrah there! Hero! Seven times thereto we salute you! The whole
bag of kits, falconplumes and jackboots incloted, is where you flung
them that time. Your heart is in the system of the Shewolf and your
crested head is in the tropic of Copricapron. Your feet are in the cloister
of Virgo. Your olala is in the region of sahuls. And that's ashore as you
were born. Your shuck tick's swell. And that there texas is tow linen.
The loamsome roam to Laffayette is ended. Drop in your tracks, babe!
Be not unrested! The headboddylwatcher of the chempel of Isid,
Totumcalmum, saith: I know thee, metherjar, I know thee, salvation
boat. For we have performed upon thee, thou abramanation, who comest
ever without being invoked, whose coming is unknown, all the things
which the company of the precentors and of the grammarians of
Christpatrick's ordered concerning thee in the matter of the work of thy
tombing. Howe of the shipmen, steep wall!

    Everything's going on the same or so it appeals to all of us, in the
old holmsted here. Coughings all over the sanctuary, bad scrant to me
aunt Florenza. The horn for breakfast, one o'gong for lunch and
dinnerchime. As popular as when Belly the First was keng and his
members met in the Diet of Man. The same shop slop in the window.
Jacob's lettercrackers and Dr Tipple's Vi-Cocoa and the Eswuards'
desippated soup beside Mother Seagull's syrup. Meat took a drop when
Reilly-Parsons failed. Coal's short but we've plenty of bog in the yard.
And barley's up again, begrained to it. The lads is attending school
nessans regular, sir, spelling beesknees with hathatansy and turning out
tables by mudapplication. Allfor the books and never pegging smashers
after Tom Bowe Glassarse or Timmy the Tosser. 'Tisraely the truth! No
isn't it, roman pathoricks? You were the doublejoynted janitor the
morning they were delivered and you'll be a grandfer yet entirely when
the ritehand seizes what the lovearm knows. Kevin's just a doat with his
cherub cheek, chalking oghres on walls, and his little lamp and
schoolbelt and bag of knicks, playing postman's knock round the
diggings and if the seep were milk you could lieve his olde by his ide
but, laus sake, the devil does be in that knirps of a Jerry sometimes, the
tarandtan plaidboy, making encostive inkum out of the last of his
lavings and writing a blue streak over his bourseday shirt. Hetty Jane's a
child of Mary. She'll be coming (for they're sure to choose her) in her
white of gold with a tourch of ivy to rekindle the flame on Felix Day.
But Essie Shanahan has let down her skirts. You remember Essie in our
Luna's Convent? They called her Holly Merry her lips were so
ruddyberry and Pia de Purebelle when the redminers riots was on about
her. Were I a clerk designate to the Williamswoodsmenufactors I'd
poster those pouters on every jamb in the town. She's making her rep at
Lanner's twicenightly. With the tabarine tamtammers of                the
whirligigmagees. Beats that cachucha flat. 'Twould dilate your heart to
go.
    Aisy now, you decent man, with your knees and lie quiet and repose
your honour's lordship! Hold him here, Ezekiel Irons, and may God
strengthen you! It's our warm spirits, boys, he's spooring. Dimitrius
O'Flagonan, cork that cure for the Clancartys! You swamped enough
since Portobello to float the Pomeroy. Fetch neahere, Pat Koy! And
fetch nouyou, Pam Yates! Be nayther angst of Wramawitch! Here's
lumbos. Where misties swaddlum, where misches lodge none, where
mystries pour kind on, O sleepy! So be yet!

    I've an eye on queer Behan and old Kate and the butter, trust me.
She'll do no jugglywuggly with her war souvenir postcards to help to
build me murial, tippers! I'll trip your traps! Assure a sure there! And
we put on your clock again, sir, for you. Did or didn't we,
sharestutterers? So you won't be up a stump entirely. Nor shed your
remnants. The sternwheel's crawling strong. I seen your missus in the
hall. Like the queenoveire. Arrah, it's herself that's fine, too, don't be
talking! Shirksends? You storyan Harry chap longa me Harry chap
storyan grass woman plelthy good trout. Shakeshands. Dibble a
hayfork's wrong with her only her lex's salig. Boald Tib does be
yawning and smirking cat's hours on the Pollockses' woolly round
tabouretcushion watching her sewing a dream together, the tailor's
daughter, stitch to her last. Or while waiting for winter to fire the
enchantement, decoying more nesters to fall down the flue. It's
allavalonche that blows nopussy food. If you only were there to explain
the meaning, best of men, and talk to her nice of guldenselver. The lips
would moisten once again. As when you drove with her to Findrinny
Fair. What with reins here and ribbons there all your hands were
employed so she never knew was she on land or at sea or swooped
through the blue like Airwinger's bride. She was flirtsome then and she's
fluttersome yet. She can second a song and adores a scandal when the
last post's gone by. Fond of a concertina and pairs passing when she's
had her forty winks for supper after kanekannan and abbely dimpling
and is in her merlin chair assotted, reading her Evening World. To see is
it smarts, full lengths or swaggers. News, news, all the news. Death, a
leopard, kills fellah in Fez. Angry scenes at Stormount. Stilla Star with
her lucky in goingaways. Opportunity fair with the China floods and we
hear these rosy rumours. Ding Tams he noise about all same Harry
chap. She's seeking her way, a chickle a chuckle, in and out of their
serial story, Les Loves of Selskar et Pervenche, freely adapted to The
Novvergin's Viv. There'll be bluebells blowing in salty sepulchres the
night she signs her final tear. Zee End. But that's a world of ways away.
Till track laws time. No silver ash or switches for that one! While
flattering candles flare. Anna Stacey's how are you! Worther waist in
the noblest, says Adams and Sons, the wouldpay actionneers. Her hair's
as brown as ever it was. And wivvy and wavy. Repose you now! Finn
no more!

    For, be that samesake sibsubstitute of a hooky salmon, there's
already a big rody ram lad at random on the premises of his haunt of the
hungred bordles, as it is told me. Shop Illicit, flourishing like a
lordmajor or a buaboabaybohm, litting flop a deadlop (aloose!) to lee
but lifting a bennbranch a yardalong (Ivoeh!) the breezy side (for
showm!), the height of Brewster's chimpney and as broad below as
Phineas Barnum; humphing his share of the showthers is senken on him
he's such a grandfallar, with a pocked wife in pickle that's a flyfire and
three lice nittle clinkers, two twilling bugs and one midgit pucelle. And
aither he cursed and recursed and was everseen doing what your
fourfootlers saw or he was never done seeing what you coolpigeons
know, weep the clouds aboon for smiledown witnesses, and that'll do
now about the fairyhees and the frailyshees. Though Eset fibble it to the
zephiroth and Artsa zoom it round her heavens for ever. Creator he has
created for his creatured ones a creation. White monothoid? Red
theatrocrat? And all the pinkprophets cohalething? Very much so! But
however 'twas 'tis sure for one thing, what sherif Toragh voucherfors
and Mapqiq makes put out, that the man, Humme the Cheapner, Esc,
overseen as we thought him, yet a worthy of the naym, came at this
timecoloured place where we live in our paroqial fermament one tide on
another, with a bumrush in a hull of a wherry, the twin turbane dhow,
The Bey for Dybbling, this archipelago's first visiting schooner, with a
wicklowpattern waxenwench at her prow for a figurehead, the deadsea
dugong updipdripping from his depths, and has been repreaching
himself like a fishmummer these siktyten years ever since, his shebi by
his shide, adi and aid, growing hoarish under his turban and changing
cane sugar into sethulose starch (Tuttut's cess to him!) as also that, batin
the bulkihood he bloats about when innebbiated, our old offender was
humile, commune and ensectuous from his nature, which you may
gauge after the bynames was put under him, in lashons of languages,
(honnein suit and praisers be!) and, totalisating him, even hamissim of
himashim that he, sober serious, he is ee and no counter he who will be
ultimendly respunchable for the hubbub caused in Edenborough.
   Chapter 2




   Now (to forebare for ever solittle of Iris Trees and Lili O'Rangans),
concerning   the genesis of     Harold    or   Humphrey     Chimpden's
occupational agnomen (we are back in the presurnames prodromarith
period, of course just when enos chalked halltraps) and discarding once
for all those theories from older sources which would link him back
with such pivotal ancestors as the Glues, the Gravys, the Northeasts, the
Ankers and the Earwickers of Sidlesham in the Hundred of Manhood or
proclaim him offsprout of vikings who had founded wapentake and
seddled hem in Herrick or Eric, the best authenticated version, the
Dumlat, read the Reading of Hofed-ben-Edar, has it that it was this way.
We are told how in the beginning it came to pass that like cabbaging
Cincinnatus the grand old gardener was saving daylight under his
redwoodtree one sultry sabbath afternoon, Hag Chivychas Eve, in
prefall paradise peace by following his plough for rootles in the rere
garden of mobhouse, ye olde marine hotel, when royalty was announced
by runner to have been pleased to have halted itself on the highroad
along which a leisureloving dogfox had cast followed, also at walking
pace, by a lady pack of cocker spaniels. Forgetful of all save his vassal's
plain fealty to the ethnarch Humphrey or Harold stayed not to yoke or
saddle but stumbled out hotface as he was (his sweatful bandanna loose
from his pocketcoat) hasting to the forecourts of his public in topee,
surcingle, solascarf and plaid, plus fours, puttees and bulldog boots
ruddled cinnabar with flagrant marl, jingling his turnpike keys and
bearing aloft amid the fixed pikes of the hunting party a high perch atop
of which a flowerpot was fixed earthside hoist with care. On his
majesty, who was, or often feigned to be, noticeably longsighted from
green youth and had been meaning to inquire what, in effect, had caused
yon causeway to be thus potholed, asking substitutionally to be put wise
as to whether paternoster and silver doctors were not now more fancied
bait for lobstertrapping honest blunt Haromphreyld answered in no
uncertain tones very similarly with a fearless forehead: Naw, yer
maggers, aw war jist a cotchin on thon bluggy earwuggers. Our sailor
king, who was draining a gugglet of obvious adamale, gift both and
gorban, upon this, ceasing to swallow, smiled most heartily beneath his
walrus moustaches and indulging that none too genial humour which
William the Conk on the spindle side had inherited with the hereditary
whitelock and some shortfingeredness from his greataunt Sophy, turned
towards two of his retinue of gallowglasses, Michael, etheling lord of
Leix and Offaly and the jubilee mayor of Drogheda, Elcock, (the two
scatterguns being Michael M. Manning, protosyndic of Waterford and
an Italian excellency named Giubilei according to a later version cited
by the learned scholarch Canavan of Canmakenoise), in either case a
triptychal religious family symbolising puritas of doctrina, business per
usuals and the purchypatch of hamlock where the paddish preties grow
and remarked dilsydulsily: Holybones of Saint Hubert how our red
brother of Pouringrainia would audibly fume did he know that we have
for surtrusty bailiwick a turnpiker who is by turns a pikebailer no
seldomer than an earwigger! For he kinned Jom Pill with his court so
gray and his haunts in his house in the mourning. (One still hears that
pebble crusted laughta, japijap cheerycherrily, among the roadside tree
the lady Holmpatrick planted and still one feels the amossive silence of
the cladstone allegibelling: Ive mies outs ide Bourn.) Comes the
question are these the facts of his nominigentilisation as recorded and
accolated in both or either of the collateral andrewpaulmurphyc
narratives. Are those their fata which we read in sibylline between the
fas and its nefas? No dung on the road? And shall Nohomiah be our
place like? Yea, Mulachy our kingable khan? We shall perhaps not so
soon see. Pinck poncks that bail for seeks alicence where cumsceptres
with scentaurs stay. Bear in mind, son of Hokmah, if so be you have
metheg in your midness, this man is mountain and unto changeth doth
one ascend. Heave we aside the fallacy, as punical as finikin, that it was
not the king kingself but his inseparable sisters, uncontrollable
nighttalkers, Skertsiraizde with Donyahzade, who afterwards, when the
robberers shot up the socialights, came down into the world as amusers
and were staged by Madame Sudlow as Rosa and Lily Miskinguette in
the pantalime that two pitts paythronosed, Miliodorus and Galathee. The
great fact emerges that after that historic date all holographs so far
exhumed initialled by Haromphrey bear the sigla H.C.E. and while he
was only and long and always good Dook Umphrey for the hungerlean
spalpeens of Lucalizod and Chimbers to his cronies it was equally
certainly a pleasant turn of the populace which gave him as sense of
those normative letters the nickname Here Comes Everybody. An
imposing everybody he always indeed looked, constantly the same as
and equal to himself and magnificently well worthy of any and all such
universalisation, every time he continually surveyed, amid vociferatings
from in front of Accept these few nutties! and Take off that white hat!,
relieved with Stop his Grog and Put It in the Log and Loots in his
(bassvoco) Boots, from good start to happy finish the truly catholic
assemblage gathered together in that king's treat house of satin
alustrelike above floats and footlights from their assbawlveldts and
oxgangs unanimously to clapplaud (the inspiration of his lifetime and
the hits of their careers) Mr Wallenstein Washington Semperkelly's
immergreen tourers in a command performance by special request with
the courteous permission for pious purposes the homedromed and
enliventh performance of problem passion play of the millentury,
running strong since creation, A Royal Divorce, then near the approach
towards the summit of its climax, with ambitious interval band
selections from The Bo' Girl and The Lily on all horserie show
command nights from his viceregal booth (his bossaloner is ceilinged
there a cuckoospit less eminent than the redritualhoods of Maccabe and
Cullen) where, a veritable Napoleon the Nth, our worldstage's practical
jokepiece and retired cecelticocommediant in his own wise, this
folksforefather all of the time sat, having the entirety of his house about
him, with the invariable broadstretched kerchief cooling his whole neck,
nape and shoulderblades and in a wardrobe panelled tuxedo completely
thrown back from a shirt well entitled a swallowall, on every point far
outstarching the laundered clawhammers and marbletopped highboys of
the pit stalls and early amphitheatre. The piece was this: look at the
lamps. The cast was thus: see under the clock. Ladies circle: cloaks may
be left. Pit, prommer and parterre, standing room only. Habituels
conspicuously emergent.

    A baser meaning has been read into these characters the literal sense
of which decency can safely scarcely hint. It has been blurtingly bruited
by certain wisecrackers (the stinks of Mohorat are in the nightplots of
the morning), that he suffered from a vile disease. Athma, unmanner
them! To such a suggestion the one selfrespecting answer is to affirm
that there are certain statements which ought not to be, and one should
like to hope to be able to add, ought not to be allowed to be made. Nor
have his detractors, who, an imperfectly warmblooded race, apparently
conceive him as a great white caterpillar capable of any and every
enormity in the calendar recorded to the discredit of the Juke and
Kellikek families, mended their case by insinuating that, alternately, he
lay at one time under the ludicrous imputation of annoying Welsh
fusiliers in the people's park. Hay, hay, hay! Hoq, hoq, hoq! Faun and
Flora on the lea love that little old joq. To anyone who knew and loved
the christlikeness of the big cleanminded giant H. C. Earwicker
throughout his excellency long vicefreegal existence the mere
suggestion of him as a lustsleuth nosing for trouble in a boobytrap rings
particularly preposterous. Truth, beard on prophet, compels one to add
that there is said to have been quondam (pfuit! pfuit!) some case of the
kind implicating, it is interdum believed, a quidam (if he did not exist it
would be necessary quoniam to invent him) abhout that time stambuling
haround Dumbaling in leaky sneakers with his tarrk record who has
remained topantically anonymos but (let us hue him Abdullah
Gamellaxarksky) was, it is stated, posted at Mallon's at the instance of
watch warriors of the vigilance committee and years afterwards, cries
one even greater, Ibid, a commender of the frightful, seemingly, unto
such as were sulhan sated, tropped head (pfiat! pfiat!) waiting his first of
the month froods turn for thatt chopp pah kabbakks alicubi on the old
house for the chargehard, Roche Haddocks off Hawkins Street. Lowe,
you blondy liar, Gob scene you in the narked place and she what's edith
ar home defileth these boyles! There's a cabful of bash indeed in the
homeur of that meal. Slander, let it lie its flattest, has never been able to
convict our good and great and no ordinary Southron Earwicker, that
homogenius man, as a pious author called him, of any graver
impropriety than that, advanced by some woodwards or regarders, who
did not dare deny, the shomers, that they had, chin Ted, chin Tam,
chinchin Taffyd, that day consumed their soul of the corn, of having
behaved with ongentilmensky immodus opposite a pair of dainty
maidservants in the swoolth of the rushy hollow whither, or so the two
gown and pinners pleaded, dame nature in all innocency had
spontaneously and about the same hour of the eventide sent them both
but whose published combinations of silkinlaine testimonies are, where
not dubiously pure, visibly divergent, as wapt from wept, on minor
points touching the intimate nature of this, a first offence in vert or
venison which was admittedly an incautious but, at its wildest, a partial
exposure with such attenuating circumstances (garthen gaddeth green
hwere sokeman brideth girling) as an abnormal Saint Swithin's summer
and, (Jesses Rosasharon!) a ripe occasion to provoke it.

    We can't do without them. Wives, rush to the restyours! Ofman will
toman while led is the lol. Zessid's our kadem, villapleach, vollapluck.
Fikup, for flesh nelly, el mundo nov, zole flen! If she's a lilyth, pull
early! Pauline, allow! And malers abushed, keep black, keep black!
Guiltless of much laid to him he was clearly for once at least he clearly
expressed himself as being with still a trace of his erstwhile burr and
hence it has been received of us that it is true. They tell the story (an
amalgam as absorbing as calzium chloereydes and hydrophobe sponges
could make it) how one happygogusty Ides-of-April morning (the
anniversary, as it fell out, of his first assumption of his mirthday suit
and rights in appurtenance to the confusioning of human races) ages and
ages after the alleged misdemeanour when the tried friend of all
creation, tigerwood roadstaff to his stay, was billowing across the wide
expanse of our greatest park in his caoutchouc kepi and great belt and
hideinsacks and his blaufunx fustian and ironsides jackboots and
Bhagafat gaiters and his rubberised inverness, he met a cad with a pipe.
The latter, the luciferant not the oriuolate (who, the odds are, is still
berting dagabout in the same straw bamer, carryin his overgoat under
his schulder, sheepside out, so as to look more like a coumfry gentleman
and signing the pledge as gaily as you please) hardily accosted him
with: Guinness thaw tool in jew me dinner ouzel fin? (a nice how-do-
you-do in Poolblack at the time as some of our olddaisers may still
tremblingly recall) to ask could he tell him how much a clock it was that
the clock struck had he any idea by cock's luck as his watch was bradys.
Hesitency was clearly to be evitated. Execration as cleverly to be
honnisoid. The Earwicker of that spurring instant, realising on
fundamental liberal principles the supreme importance, nexally and
noxally, of physical life (the nearest help relay being pingping K. O.
Sempatrick's Day and the fenian rising) and unwishful as he felt of
being hurled into eternity right then, plugged by a softnosed bullet from
the sap, halted, quick on the draw, and replyin that he was feelin tipstaff,
cue, prodooced from his gunpocket his Jurgensen's shrapnel waterbury,
ours by communionism, his by usucapture, but, on the same stroke,
hearing above the skirling of harsh Mother East old Fox Goodman, the
bellmaster, over the wastes to south, at work upon the ten ton tonuant
thunderous tenor toller in the speckled church (Couhounin's call!) told
the inquiring kidder, by Jehova, it was twelve of em sidereal and
tankard time, adding, buttall, as he bended deeply with smoked
sardinish breath to give more pondus to the copperstick he presented
(though this seems in some cumfusium with the chapstuck ginger
which,   as   being    of   sours,   acids,   salts,   sweets   and   bitters
compompounded, we know him to have used as chawchaw for bone,
muscle, blood, flesh and vimvital,) that whereas the hakusay accusation
againstm had been made, what was known in high quarters as was stood
stated in Morganspost, by a creature in youman form who was quite
beneath parr and several degrees lower than yore triplehydrad snake. In
greater support of his word (it, quaint anticipation of a famous phrase,
has been reconstricted out of oral style into the verbal for all time with
ritual rhythmics, in quiritary quietude, and toosammenstucked from
successive accounts by Noah Webster in the redaction known as the
Sayings Attributive of H. C. Earwicker, prize on schillings, postlots
free), the flaxen Gygas tapped his chronometrum drumdrum and, now
standing full erect, above the ambijacent floodplain, scene of its
happening, with one Berlin gauntlet chopstuck in the hough of his
ellboge (by ancientest signlore his gesture meaning:     !) pointed at an
angle of thirtytwo degrees towards his duc de Fer's overgrown
milestone as fellow to his gage and after a rendypresent pause averred
with solemn emotion's fire: Shsh shake, co-comeraid! Me only, them
five ones, he is equal combat. I have won straight. Hence my nonation
wide hotel and creamery establishments which for the honours of our
mewmew mutual daughters, credit me, I am woowoo willing to take my
stand, sir, upon the monument, that sign of our ruru redemption, any
hygienic day to this hour and to make my hoath to my sinnfinners, even
if I get life for it, upon the Open Bible and before the Great
Taskmaster's (I lift my hat!) and in the presence of the Deity Itself
andwell of Bishop and Mrs Michan of High Church of England as of all
such of said my immediate withdwellers and of every living sohole in
every corner wheresoever of this globe in general which useth of my
British to my backbone tongue and commutative justice that there is not
one tittle of truth, allow me to tell you, in that purest of fibfib
fabrications.

    Gaping Gill, swift to mate errthors, stern to checkself, (diagnosing
through eustacetube that it was to make with a markedly postpuberal
hypertituitary type of Heidelberg mannleich cavern ethics) lufted his
slopingforward, bad Sweatagore good murrough and dublnotch on to it
as he was greedly obliged, and like a sensible ham, with infinite tact in
the delicate situation seen the touchy nature of its perilous theme,
thanked um for guilders received and time of day (not a little token
abock all the same that that was owl the God's clock it was) and, upon
humble duty to greet his Tyskminister and he shall gildthegap Gaper
and thee his a mouldy voids, went about his business, whoever it was,
saluting corpses, as a metter of corse (one could hound him out had one
hart to for the monticules of scalp and dandruff droppings blaze his
trail) accompanied by his trusty snorler and his permanent reflection,
verbigracious; I have met with you, bird, too late, or if not, too worm
and early: and with tag for ildiot repeated in his secondmouth language
as many of the bigtimer's verbaten words which he could balbly call to
memory that same kveldeve, ere the hour of the twattering of bards in
the twitterlitter between Druidia and the Deepsleep Sea, when
suppertide and souvenir to Charlatan Mall jointly kem gently and along
the quiet darkenings of Grand and Royal, ff, flitmansfluh, and, kk, 't
crept i' hedge whenas to many a softongue's pawkytalk mude unswer u
sufter poghyogh, Arvanda always aquiassent, while, studying castelles
in the blowne and studding cowshots over the noran, he spat in careful
convertedness a musaic dispensation about his hearthstone, if you
please, (Irish saliva, mawshe dho hole, but would a respectable
prominently connected fellow of Iro-European ascendances with
welldressed ideas who knew the correct thing such as Mr Shallwesigh
or Mr Shallwelaugh expectorate after such a callous fashion, no thank
yous! when he had his belcher spuckertuck in his pucket, pthuck?)
musefed with his thockits after having supped of the dish sot and
pottage which he snobbishly dabbed Peach Bombay (it is rawly only
Lukanpukan pilzenpie which she knows which senaffed and pibered
him), a supreme of excelling peas, balled under minnshogue's milk into
whitemalt winesour, a proviant the littlebilker hoarsely relished, chaff it,
in the snevel season, being as fain o't as your rat wi'fennel; and on this
celebrating occasion of the happy escape, for a crowning of pot
valiance, this regional platter, benjamin of bouillis, with a spolish olive
to middlepoint its zaynith, was marrying itself (porkograso!) erebusqued
very deluxiously with a bottle of Phenice-Bruerie '98, followed for
second nuptials by a Piessporter, Grand Cur, of both of which cherished
tablelights (though humble the bounquet 'tis a leaman's farewell) he
obdurately sniffed the cobwebcrusted corks.

    Our cad's bit of strife (knee Bareniece Maxwelton) with a quick ear
for spittoons (as the aftertale hath it) glaned up as usual with dumbestic
husbandry (no persicks and armelians for thee, Pomeranzia!) but,
slipping the clav in her claw, broke of the matter among a hundred and
eleven others in her usual curtsey (how faint these first vhespers
womanly are, a secret pispigliando, amad the lavurdy den of their
manfolker!) the next night nudge one as was Hegesippus over a hup a '
chee, her eys dry and small and speech thicklish because he appeared a
funny colour like he couldn't stood they old hens no longer, to her
particular reverend, the director, whom she had been meaning in her
mind primarily to speak with (hosch, intra! jist a timblespoon!) trusting,
between cuppled lips and annie lawrie promises (mighshe never have
Esnekerry pudden come Hunanov for her pecklapitschens!) that the
gossiple so delivered in his epistolear, buried teatoastally in their Irish
stew would go no further than his jesuit's cloth, yet (in vinars venitas!
volatiles valetotum!) it was this overspoiled priest Mr Browne,
disguised as a vincentian, who, when seized of the facts, was overheard,
in his secondary personality as a Nolan and underreared, poul soul, by
accident — if, that is, the incident it was an accident for here the ruah of
Ecclectiastes of Hippo outpuffs the writress of Havvah-ban-Annah — to
pianissime a slightly varied version of Crookedribs confidentials, (what
Mere Aloyse said but for Jesuphine's sake!) hands between hahands, in
fealty sworn (my bravor best! my fraur!) and, to the strains of The
Secret of Her Birth, hushly pierce the rubiend aurellum of one Philly
Thurnston, a layteacher of rural science and orthophonethics of a
nearstout figure and about the middle of his forties during a priestly
flutter for safe and sane bets at the hippic runfields of breezy Baldoyle
on a date (W. W. goes through the card) easily capable of
rememberance by all pickersup of events national and Dublin details,
the doubles of Perkin and Paullock, peer and prole, when the classic
Encourage Hackney Plate was captured by two noses in a stablecloth
finish, ek and nek, some and none, evelo nevelo, from the cream colt
Bold Boy Cromwell after a clever getaway by Captain Chaplain
Blount's roe hinny Saint Dalough, Drummer Coxon, nondepict third, at
breakneck odds, thanks to you great little, bonny little, portey little,
Winny Widger! you're all their nappies! who in his neverrip mud and
purpular cap was surely leagues unlike any other phantomweight that
ever toppitt our timber maggies.
    'Twas two pisononse Timcoves (the wetter is pest, the renns are
overt and come and the voax of the turfur is hurled on our lande) of the
name of Treacle Tom as was just out of pop following the theft of a leg
of Kehoe, Donnelly and Packenham's Finnish pork and his own blood
and milk brother Frisky Shorty, (he was, to be exquisitely punctilious
about them, both shorty and frisky) a tipster, come off the hulks, both of
them awful poor, what was out on the bumaround for an oofbird game
for a jimmy o'goblin or a small thick un as chanced, while the Seaforths
was making the colleenbawl, to ear the passon in the motor clobber
make use of his law language (Edzo, Edzo on), touchin the case of Mr
Adams what was in all the sundays about it which he was rubbing noses
with and having a gurgle off his own along of the butty bloke in the
specs.

    This Treacle Tom to whom reference has been made had been
absent from his usual wild and woolly haunts in the land of counties
capalleens for some time previous to that (he was, in fact, in the habit of
frequenting common lodginghouses where he slept in a nude state,
hailfellow with meth, in strange men's cots) but on racenight, blotto
after divers tots of hell fire, red biddy, bull dog, blue ruin and creeping
jenny, Eglandine's choicest herbage, supplied by the Duck and Doggies,
the Galopping Primrose, Brigid Brewster's, the Cock, the Postboy's
Horn, the Little Old Man's and All Swell That Aimswell, the Cup and
the Stirrup, he sought his wellwarmed leababobed in a housingroom
Abide With Oneanother at Block W.W., (why didn't he back it?) Pump
Court, The Liberties, and, what with moltapuke on voltapuke, resnored
alcoh alcoho alcoherently to the burden of I come, my horse delayed,
nom num, the substance of the tale of the evangelical bussybozzy and
the rusinurbean (the 'girls' he would keep calling them for the collarette
and skirt, the sunbonnet and carnation) in parts (it seemed he was before
the eyots of martas or otherwales the thirds of fossilyears, he having
beham with katya when lavinias had her mens lease to sea in a
psumpship doodly show whereat he was looking for fight niggers with
whilde roarses) oft in the chilly night (the metagonistic! the
epickthalamorous!) during uneasy slumber in their hearings of a small
and stonybroke cashdraper's executive, Peter Cloran (discharged),
O'Mara, an exprivate secretary of no fixed abode (locally known as
Mildew Lisa), who had passed several nights, funnish enough, in a
doorway under the blankets of homelessness on the bunk of iceland,
pillowed upon the stone of destiny colder than man's knee or woman's
breast, and Hosty, (no slouch of a name), an illstarred beachbusker,
who, sans rootie and sans scrapie, suspicioning as how he was setting on
a twoodstool on the verge of selfabyss, most starved, with melancholia
over everything in general, (night birman, you served him with natigal's
nano!) had been towhead tossing on his shakedown, devising ways and
manners of means, of what he loved to ifidalicence somehow or other in
the nation getting a hold of some chap's parabellum in the hope of
taking a wing sociable and lighting upon a sidewheel dive somewhere
off the Dullkey Downlairy and Bleakrooky tramaline where he could
throw true and go and blow the sibicidal napper off himself for two bits
to boldywell baltitude in the peace and quitybus of a one sure shot
bottle, he after having being trying all he knew with the lady's help of
Madam Gristle for upwards of eighteen calanders to get out of Sir
Patrick Dun's, through Sir Humphrey Jervis's and into the Saint Kevin's
bed in the Adelaide's hosspittles (from these incurable welleslays among
those uncarable wellasdays through Sant Iago by his cocklehat, good
Lazar, deliver us!) without after having been able to jerrywangle it
anysides. Lisa O'Deavis and Roche Mongan (who had so much
incommon, epipsychidically; if the phrase be permitted hostis et odor
insuper petroperfractus) as an understood thing slept their sleep of the
swimborne in the one sweet undulant mother of tumblerbunks with
Hosty just how the shavers in the shaw the yokels in the yoats or, well,
the wasters in the wilde, and the bustling tweenydawn-of-all-works
(meed of anthems here we pant!) had not been many jiffies furbishing
potlids, doorbrasses, scholars' applecheeks and linkboy's metals when,
ashhopperminded like no fella he go make bakenbeggfuss longa white
man, the rejuvenated busker (for after a goodnight's rave and rumble
and a shinkhams topmorning with his coexes he was not the same man)
and his broadawake bedroom suite (our boys, as our Byron called them)
were up and ashuffle from the hogshome they lovenaned The Barrel,
cross Ebblinn's chilled hamlet (thrie routes and restings on their then
superficies curiously correspondant with those linea and puncta where
our tubenny habenny metro maniplumbs below the oberflake underrails
and stations at this time of riding) to the thrummings of a crewth fiddle
which, cremoaning and cronauning, levey grevey, witty and wevey,
appy, leppy and playable, caressed the ears of the subjects of King Saint
Finnerty the Festive who, in brick homes of their own and in their
flavory fraiseberry beds, heeding hardly cry of honeyman, soed lavender
or foyneboyne salmon alive, with their priggish mouths all open for the
larger appraisiation of this longawaited Messiagh of roaratorios, were
only halfpast atsweeeep and after a brisk pause at a pawnbroking
establishment for the prothetic purpose of redeeming the songster's truly
admirable false teeth and a prolonged visit to a house of call at Cujas
Place, fizz, the Old Sots' Hole in the parish of Saint Cecily within the
liberty of Ceolmore not a thousand or one national leagues, that was, by
Griffith's valuation, from the site of the statue of Primewer Glasstone
setting a match to the march of a maker (last of the stewards peut-être),
where, the tale rambles along, the trio of whackfolthediddlers was
joined by a further — intentions — apply — tomorrow casual and a
decent sort of the hadbeen variety who had just been touching the
weekly insult, phewit, and all figblabbers (who saith of noun?) had
stimulants in the shape of gee and gees stood by the damn decent sort
after which stag luncheon and a few ones more just to celebrate
yesterday, flushed with their firestufffostered friendship, the rascals
came out of the licensed premises, (Browne's first, the small p.s. ex-
exexecutive capahand in their sad rear like a lady's postscript: I want
money. Pleasend), wiping their laughleaking lipes on their sleeves, how
the bouckaleens shout their roscan generally (seinn fion, seinn fion's
araun.) and the rhymers' world was with reason the richer for a wouldbe
ballad, to the balledder of which the world of cumannity singing owes a
tribute for having placed on the planet's melomap his lay of the vilest
bogeyer but most attractionable avatar the world has ever had to explain
for.

       This, more krectly lubeen or fellow — me — lieder was first poured
forth where Riau Liviau riots and col de Houdo humps, under the
shadow       of   the   monument   of   the   shouldhavebeen    legislator
(Eleutheriodendron! Spare, woodmann, spare!) to an overflow meeting
of all the nations in Lenster fullyfilling the visional area and, as a
singleminded supercrowd, easily representative, what with masks, whet
with faces, of all sections and cross sections (wineshop and cocoahouse
poured out to brim up the broaching) of our liffeyside people (to omit to
mention of the mainland minority and such as had wayfared via
Watling, Ernin, Icknild and Stane, in chief a halted cockney car with its
quotal of Hardmuth's hacks, a northern tory, a southern whig, an
eastanglian chronicler and a landwester guardian) ranging from slips of
young dublinos from Cutpurse Row having nothing better to do than
walk about with their hands in their kneepants, sucking airwhackers,
weedulicet, jumbobricks, side by side with truant officers, three woollen
balls and poplin in search of a croust of pawn to busy professional
gentlemen, a brace of palesmen with dundrearies, nooning toward
Daly's, fresh from snipehitting and mallardmissing on Rutland heath,
exchanging cold sneers, massgoing ladies from Hume Street in their
chairs, the bearers baited, some wandering hamalags out of the adjacent
cloverfields of Mosse's Gardens, an oblate fater from Skinner's Alley,
bricklayers, a fleming, in tabinet fumant, with spouse and dog, an aged
hammersmith who had some chisellers by the hand, a bout of cudgel
players, not a few sheep with the braxy, two bluecoat scholars, four
broke gents out of Simpson's on the Rocks, a portly and a pert still
tassing Turkey Coffee and orange shrub in tickeyes door, Peter Pim and
Paul Fry and then Elliot and, O, Atkinson, suffering hell's delights from
the blains of their annuitant's acorns not forgetting a deuce of dianas
ridy for the hunt, a particularist prebendary pondering on the roman
easter, the tonsure question and greek uniates, plunk em, a lace lappet
head or two or three or four from a window, and so on down to a few
good old souls, who, as they were juiced after taking their pledge over at
the unkle's place, were evidently under the spell of liquor, from the
wake of Tarry the Tailor a fair girl, a jolly postboy thinking off three
flagons and one, a plumodrole, a half sir from the weaver's almshouse
who clings and clings and chatchatchat clings to her, a wholedam's
cloudhued pittycoat, as child, as curiolater, as Caoch O'Leary. The
wararrow went round, so it did, (a nation wants a gaze) and the ballad,
in the felibrine trancoped metre affectioned by Taiocebo in his Casudas
de Poulichinello Artahut, stumpstampaded on to a slip of blancovide
and headed by an excessively rough and red woodcut, privately printed
at the rimepress of Delville, soon fluttered its secret on white highway
and brown byway to the rose of the winds and the blew of the gaels,
from archway to lattice and from black hand to pink ear, village crying
to village, through the five pussyfours green of the united states of
Scotia Picta — and he who denies it, may his hairs be rubbed in dirt! To
the added strains (so peacifold) of his majesty the floote, that
onecrooned king of inscrewments, Piggots's purest, ciello alsoliuto,
which Mr Delaney (Mr Delacey?), horn, anticipating a perfect
downpour of plaudits among the rapsods, piped out of his decentsoort
hat, looking still more like his purseyful namesake as men of Gaul
noted, but before of to sputabout, the snowycrested curl amoist the
leader's wild and moulting hair, 'Ductor' Hitchcock hoisted his fezzy
fuzz at bludgeon's height signum to his companions of the chalice for
the Loud Fellow, boys' and silentium in curia! (our maypole once more
where he rose of old) and the canto was chantied there chorussed and
christened where by the old tollgate, Saint Annona's Street and Church.

    And aroud the lawn the rann it rann and this is the rann that Hosty
made. Spoken. Boyles and Cahills, Skerretts and Pritchards, viersefied
and piersified may the treeth we tale of live in stoney. Here line the
refrains of. Some vote him Vike, some mote him Mike, some dub him
Llyn and Phin while others hail him Lug Bug Dan Lop, Lex, Lax,
Gunne or Guinn. Some apt him Arth, some bapt him Barth, Coll, Noll,
Soll, Will, Weel, Wall but I parse him Persse O'Reilly else he's called
no name at all. Together. Arrah, leave it to Hosty, frosty Hosty, leave it
to Hosty for he's the mann to rhyme the rann, the rann, the rann, the
king of all ranns. Have you here? (Some ha) Have we where? (Some
hant) Have you hered? (Others do) Have we whered (Others dont) It's
cumming, it's brumming! The clip, the clop! (All cla) Glass crash. The
(klikkaklakkaklaskaklopatzklatschabattacreppycrottygraddaghsemmihsa
mmihnouithappluddyappladdypkonpkot!).




   Ardite, arditi!

   Music cue.




   Have you heard of one Humpty Dumpty

   How he fell with a roll and a rumble

   And curled up like Lord Olofa Crumple

   By the butt of the Magazine Wall,
   (Chorus) Of the Magazine Wall,

             Hump, helmet and all?



He was one time our King of the Castle

Now he's kicked about like a rotten old parsnip.

And from Green street he'll be sent by order of His Worship

To the penal jail of Mountjoy

   (Chorus) To the jail of Mountjoy!

             Jail him and joy



He was fafafather of all schemes for to bother us

Slow coaches and immaculate contraceptives for the populace,

Mare's milk for the sick, seven dry Sundays a week,

Openair love and religion's reform,

   (Chorus) And religious reform,

             Hideous in form.



Arrah, why, says you, couldn't he manage it?

I'll go bail, my fine dairyman darling,

Like the bumping bull of the Cassidys

All your butter is in your horns.
      (Chorus) His butter is in his horns.

               Butter his horns!



   (Repeat) Hurrah there, Hosty, frosty Hosty, change that shirt on ye,

   Rhyme the rann, the king of all ranns!



                       Balbaccio, balbuccio!

   We had chaw chaw chops, chairs, chewing gum, the chicken pox
and china chambers

   Universally provided by this soffsoaping salesman.

   Small wonder He'll Cheat E'erawan our local lads nicknamed him

   When Chimpden first took the floor

     (Chorus) With his bucketshop store

               Down Bargainweg, Lower.



   So snug he was in his hotel premises sumptuous

   But soon we'll bonfire all his trash, tricks and trumpery

   And'tis short till sheriff Clancy'll be winding up his unlimited
company

   With the bailiff's bom at the door,

     (Chorus) Bimbam at the door.
               Then he'll bum no more.



   Sweet bad luck on the waves washed to our island

   The hooker of that hammerfast viking

   And Gall's curse on the day when Eblana bay

   Saw his black and tan man-o'-war.

      (Chorus) Saw his man-o'-war.

               On the harbour bar.



   Where from? roars Poolbeg. Cookingha'pence, he bawls Donnez-
moi scampitle, wick an wipin'fampiny

   Fingal Mac Oscar Onesine Bargearse Boniface

   Thok's min gammelhole Norveegickers moniker

   Og as ay are at gammelhore Norveegickers cod.

      (Chorus) A Norwegian camel old cod.

               He is, begod.



   Lift it, Hosty, lift it, ye devil ye! up with the rann, the rhyming rann!

   It was during some fresh water garden pumping

   Or, according to the Nursing Mirror, while admiring the mon keys

   That our heavyweight heathen Humpharey
Made bold a maid to woo

  (Chorus) Woohoo, what'll she doo!

            The general lost her maidenloo!



He ought to blush for himself, the old hayheaded philosopher,

For to go and shove himself that way on top of her.

Begob, he's the crux of the catalogue

Of our antediluvial zoo,

  (Chorus) Messrs. Billing and Coo.

            Noah's larks, good as noo.



He was joulting by Wellinton's monument

Our rotorious hippopopotamuns

When some bugger let down the backtrap of the omnibus

And he caught his death of fusiliers,

  (Chorus) With his rent in his rears.

             Give him six years.



'Tis sore pity for his innocent poor children

But look out for his missus legitimate!

When that frew gets a grip of old Earwicker
Won't there be earwigs on the green?

  (Chorus) Big earwigs on the green,

            The largest ever you seen.



Suffoclose! Shikespower! Seudodanto! Anonymoses!



Then we'll have a free trade Gaels' band and mass meeting

For to sod the brave son of Scandiknavery.

And we'll bury him down in Oxmanstown

Along with the devil and Danes,

  (Chorus) With the deaf and dumb Danes,

            And all their remains.



And not all the king's men nor his horses

Will resurrect his corpus

For there's no true spell in Connacht or hell

  (bis) That's able to raise a Cain.
   Chapter 3




   'Sdense! Corpo di barragio! you spoof of visibility in a freakfog, of
mixed sex cases among goats, hill cat and plain mousey, Bigamy Bob
and his old Shanvocht! The Blackfriars treacle plaster outrage be
liddled! Therewith was released in that kingsrick of Humidia a
poisoning volume of cloud barrage indeed. Yet all they who heard or
redelivered are now with that family of bards and Vergobretas himself
and the crowd of Caraculacticors as much no more as be they not yet
now or had they then notever been. Canbe in some future we shall
presently here amid those zouave players of Inkermann the mime
mumming the mick and his nick miming their maggies, Hilton St Just
(Mr Frank Smith), Ivanne Ste Austelle (Mr J. F. Jones), Coleman of
Lucan taking four parts, a choir of the O'Daley O'Doyles doublesixing
the chorus in Fenn Mac Call and the Seven Feeries of Loch Neach,
Galloper Troppler and Hurleyquinn the zitherer of the past with his
merrymen all, zimzim, zimzim. Of the persins sin this Eyrawyggla saga
(which, thorough readable to int from and, is from tubb to buttom all
falsetissues, antilibellous and nonactionable and this applies to its whole
wholume) of poor Osti-Frosti, described as quite a musical genius in a
small way and the owner of an exceedingly niced ear, with tenorist
voice to match, not alone, but a very major poet of the poorly meritary
order (he began Tuonisonian but worked his passage up as far as the we-
allhang-together Animandovites) no one end is known. If they whistled
him before he had curtains up they are whistling him still after his
curtain's doom's doom. Ei fù. His husband, poor old A'Hara (Okaroff?)
crestfallen by things and down at heels at the time, they squeak,
accepted the (Zassnoch!) ardree's shilling at the conclusion of the
Crimean war and, having flown his wild geese, alohned in crowds to
warnder on like Shuley Luney, enlisted in Tyrone's horse, the Irish
whites, and soldiered a bit with Wolsey under the assumed name of
Blanco Fusilovna Bucklovitch (spurious) after which the cawer and the
marble halls of Pump Court Columbarium, the home of the old
seakings, looked upon each other and queth their haven evermore for it
transpires that on the other side of the water it came about that on the
field of Vasileff's Cornix inauspiciously with his unit he perished,
saying, this papal leafless to old chap give, rawl chawclates for
mouther-in-louth. Booil. Poor old dear Paul Horan, to satisfy his literary
as well as his criminal aspirations, at the suggestion thrown out by the
doomster in loquacity lunacy, so says the Dublin Intelligence, was
thrown into a Ridley's for inmates in the northern counties. Under the
name of Orani he may have been the utility man of the troupe capable of
sustaining long parts at short notice. He was. Sordid Sam, a dour decent
deblancer, the unwashed, haunted always by his ham, the unwished, at a
word from Israfel the Summoner, passed away painlessly after life's
upsomdowns one hallowe'en night, ebbrous and in the state of nature,
propelled from Behind into the great Beyond by footblows
coulinclouted upon his oyster and atlas on behanged and behooved and
behicked and behulked of his last fishandblood bedscrappers, a
Northwegian and his mate of the Sheawolving class. Though the last
straw glimt his baring this stage thunkhard is said (the pitfallen gagged
him as 'Promptboxer') to have solemnly said — as had the brief thot but
fell in till his head like a bass dropt neck fust in till a bung crate
(cogged!): Me drames, O'Loughlins, has come through! Now let the
centuple celves of my egourge as Micholas de Cusack calls them, — of
all of whose I in my hereinafter of course by recourse demission me —
by the coincidance of their contraries reamalgamerge in that indentity of
undiscernibles where the Baxters and the Fleshmans may they cease to
bidivil uns and (but at this poingt though the iron thrust of his cockspurt
start might have prepared us we are wellnigh stinkpotthered by the
mustardpunge in the tailend) this outandin brown candlestock melt
Nolan's into peese! Han var. Disliken as he was to druriodrama, her
wife Langley, the prophet, and the decentest dozendest short of a frusker
whoever stuck his spickle through his spoke, disappeared, (in which
toodooing he has taken all the French leaves unveilable out of
Calomnequiller's Pravities) from the sourface of this earth, that austral
plain he had transmaried himself to, so entirely spoorlessly (the mother
of the book with a dustwhisk tabularasing his obliteration done upon her
involucrum) as to tickle the speculative to all but opine (since the Levey
who might have been Langley may have really been a redivivus of
paganinism or a volunteer Vousden) that the hobo (who possessed a
large amount of the humoresque) had transtuled his funster's latitat to its
finsterest interrimost. Bhi she. Again, if Father San Browne, tea and
toaster to that quaintesttest of yarnspinners is Padre Don Bruno, treu and
troster to the queen of Iar-Spain, was the reverend, the sodality director,
that eupeptic viceflayer, a barefaced carmelite, to whose palpitating
pulpit (which of us but remembers the rarevalent and hornerable
Fratomistor Nawlanmore and Brawne.) sinning society sirens (see the
[Roman Catholic] presspassim) fortunately became so enthusiastically
attached and was an objectionable ass who very occasionally cockaded
a raffles ticket on his hat which he wore all to one side like the hangle of
his pan (if Her Elegance saw him she'd have the canary!) and was
semiprivately convicted of malpractices with his hotwashed tableknife
(glossing over the cark in his pocket) that same snob of the dunhill, fully
several yearschaums riper, encountered by the General on that redletter
morning or maynoon jovesday and were they? Fuitfuit.

    When Phishlin Phil wants throws his lip 'tis pholly to be fortune
flonting and whoever's gone to mix Hotel by the salt say water there's
nix to nothing we can do for he's never again to sea. It is nebuless an
autodidact fact of the commonest that the shape of the average human
cloudyphiz, whereas sallow has long daze faded, frequently altered its
ego with the possing of the showers (Not original!). Whence it is a
slopperish matter, given the wet and low visibility (since in this
scherzarade of one's thousand one nightinesses that sword of certainty
which would indentifide the body never falls) to idendifine the
individuone in scratch wig, squarecuts, stock lavaleer, regattable oxeter,
baggy pants and shufflers (he is often alluded to as Slypatrick, the llad
in the llane) with already an incipience (lust!) in the direction of area
baldness (one is continually firstmeeting with odd sorts of others at all
sorts of ages!) who was asked by free boardschool shirkers in drenched
coats overawall, Will, Conn and Otto, to tell them overagait, Vol, Pov
and Dev, that fishabed ghoatstory of the haardly creditable edventyres
of the Haberdasher, the two Curchies and the three Enkelchums in their
Bearskin ghoats! Girles and jongers, but he has changed alok syne
Thorkill's time! Ya, da, tra, gathery, pimp, shesses, shossafat,
okodeboko, nine! Those many warts, those slummy patches, halfsinster
wrinkles, (what has come over the face on wholebroader E?), and
(shrine of Mount Mu save us!) the large fungopark he has grown!
Drink!

    Sport's a common thing. It was the Lord's own day for damp (to
wait for a postponed regatta's eventualising is not of Battlecock
Shettledore - Juxta - Mare only) and the request for a fully armed
explanation was put (in Loo of Pat) to the porty (a native of the sisterisle
— Meathman or Meccan? — by his brogue, exrace eyes, lokil calour
and lucal odour which are said to have been average clownturkish
(though the capelist's voiced nasal liquids and the way he sneezed at
zees haul us back to the craogs and bryns of the Silurian Ordovices)
who, the lesser pilgrimage accomplished, had made, pats' and pigs' older
inselt, the southeast bluffs of the stranger stepshore, a regifugium
persecutorum, hence hindquarters) as he paused at evenchime for some
or so minutes (hit the pipe dannyboy! Time to won, barmon. I'll take ten
to win.) amid the devil's one duldrum (Apple by her blossom window
and Charlotte at her toss panomancy his sole admirers, his only tearts in
store) for a fragrend culubosh during his week end pastime of executing
with Anny Oakley deadliness (the consummatory pairs of provocatives,
of which remained provokingly but two, the ones he fell for, Lili and
Tutu, cork em!) empties which had not very long before contained
Reid's family (you ruad that before, soaky, but all the bottles in sodemd
histry will not soften your bloodathirst!) stout. Having reprimed his
repeater and resiteroomed his timespiece His Revenances, with still a
life or two to spare for the space of his occupancy of a world at a time,
rose to his feet and there, far from Tolkaheim, in a quiet English garden
(commonplace!), since known as Whiddington Wild, his simple
intensive curolent vocality, my dearbraithers, my most dearbrathairs, as
he, so is a supper as is a sipper, spake of the One and told of the
Compassionate, called up before the triad of precoxious scaremakers
(scoretaking: Spegulo ne helpas al malbellulo, Mi Kredas ke vi estas
prava, Via dote la vizago rispondas fraulino) the now to ushere mythical
habiliments of Our Farfar and Arthor of our doyne.

    Television kills telephony in brothers' broil. Our eyes demand their
turn. Let them be seen! And wolfbone balefires blaze the trailmost if
only that Mary Nothing may burst her bibby buckshee. When they set
fire then she's got to glow so we may stand some chances of warming to
what every soorkabatcha, tum or hum, would like to know. The first
Humphrey's latitudinous baver with puggaree behind, (calaboose belong
bigboss belong Kang the Toll) his fourinhand bow, his elbaroom
surtout, the refaced unmansionables of gingerine hue, the state slate
umbrella, his gruff woolselywellesly with the finndrinn knopfs and the
gauntlet upon the hand which in an hour not for him solely evil had
struck down the might he mighthavebeen d'Esterre of whom his nation
seemed almost already to be about to have need. Then, stealing his
thunder, but in the befitting legomena of the smaller country, (probable
words, possibly said, of field family gleaming) a bit duskish and
flavoured with a smile, seein as ow his thoughts consisted chiefly of the
cheerio, he aptly sketched for our soontobe second parents (sukand see
whybe!) the touching seene. The solence of that stilling! Here one might
a fin fell. Boomster rombombonant! It scenes like a landescape from
Wildu Picturescu or some seem on some dimb Arras, dumb as Mum's
mutyness, this mimage of the seventyseventh kusin of kristansen is
odable to os across the wineless Ere no oedor nor mere eerie nor liss
potent of suggestion than in the tales of the tingmount. (Prigged!)

    And there oftafter, jauntyjogging, on an Irish visavis, insteadily with
shoulder to shoulder Jehu will tell to Christianier, saint to sage, the
humphriad of that fall and rise while daisy winks at her pinker sister
among the tussocks and the copoll between the shafts mocks the couple
on the car. And as your who may look like how on the owther side of
his big belttry your tyrs and cloes your noes and paradigm maymay
rererise in eren. Follow we up his whip vindicative. Thurston's! Lo
bebold! La arboro, lo petrusu. The augustan peacebetothem oaks, the
monolith rising stark from the moonlit pinebarren. In all fortitudinous
ajaxious rowdinoisy tenuacity. The angelus hour with ditchers bent
upon their farm usetensiles, the soft belling of the fallow deers
(doerehmoose genuane!) advertising their milky approach as midnight
was striking the hours (letate!), and how brightly the great tribune outed
the sharkskin smokewallet (imitation!) from his frock, kippers, and by
Joshua, he tips un a topping swank cheroot, none of your swellish soide,
quoit the reverse, and how manfally he says, pluk to pluk and lekan for
lukan, he was to just pluggy well suck that brown boyo, my son, and
spend a whole half hour in Havana. Sorer of the kreeksmen, would not
thore be old high gothsprogue! Wherefore he met Master, he mean to
say, he do, sire, bester of redpublicans, at Eagle Cock Hostel on
Lorenzo Tooley street and how he wished his Honour the bannocks of
Gort and Morya and Bri Head and Puddyrick, yore Loudship, and a
starchboxsitting in the pit of his St Tomach's, — a strange wish for you,
my friend, and it would poleaxe your sonson's grandson utterly though
your own old sweatandswear floruerunts heaved it hoch many as the
times, when they were turrified by the hitz.

    Chee chee cheers for Upkingbilly and crow cru cramwells
Downaboo! Hup, boys, and hat him! See! Oilbeam they're lost we've
found rerembrandtsers, their hours to date link these heirs to here but
wowhere are those yours of Yestersdays? Farseeingetherich and
Poolaulwoman Charachthercuss and his Ann van Vogt. D.e.e.d! Edned,
ended or sleeping soundlessly? Favour with your tongues! Intendite!

    Any dog's life you list you may still hear them at it, like sixes and
seventies as eversure as Halley's comet, ulemamen, sobranjewomen,
storthingboys and dumagirls, as they pass its bleak and bronze portal of
your Casaconcordia: Huru more Nee, minny frickans? Hwoorledes har
Dee det? Losdoor onleft mladies, cue. Millecientotrigintadue scudi.
Tippoty, kyrie, tippoty. Cha kai rotty kai makkar, sahib? Despenseme
Usted, senhor, en son succo, sabez. O thaw bron orm, A'Cothraige,
thinkinthou gaily? Lick-Pa-flai-hai-pa-Pa-li-si-lang-lang. Epi alo, ecou,
Batiste, tuvavnr dans Lptit boing going. Ismeme de bumbac e meias de
portocallie. O.O. Os pipos mios es demasiada gruarso por O piccolo
pocchino. Wee fee? Ung duro. Kocshis, szabad? Mercy, and you?
Gomagh, thak.

    And, Cod, says he with mugger's tears: Would you care to know the
prise of a liard? Maggis, nick your nightynovel! Mass Tavener's at the
mike again! And that bag belly is the buck to goat it! Meggeg, m'gay
chapjappy fellow, I call our univalse to witness, as sicker as moyliffey
eggs is known by our good househalters from yorehunderts of mamooth
to be which they commercially are in ahoy high British quarters
(conventional!) my guesthouse and cowhaendel credits will immediately
stand ohoh open as straight as that neighbouring monument's fabrication
before the hygienic gllll (this was where the reverent sabboth and
bottlebreaker with firbalk forthstretched touched upon his tricoloured
boater, which he uplifted by its pickledhoopy (he gave Stetson one and
a penny for it) whileas oleaginosity of ancestralolosis sgocciolated
down the both pendencies of his mutsohito liptails (Sencapetulo, a more
modestuous conciliabulite never curled a torn pocketmouth), cordially
inwiting the adullescence who he was wising up to do in like manner
what all did so as he was able to add) lobe before the Great
Schoolmaster's. (I tell you no story.) Smile!

    The house of Atreox is fallen indeedust (Ilyam, Ilyum! Maeromor
Mournomates !) averging on blight like the mundibanks of Fennyana,
but deeds bounds going arise again. Life, he himself said once, (his
biografiend, in fact, kills him verysoon, if yet not, after) is a wake, livit
or krikit, and on the bunk of our breadwinning lies the cropse of our
seedfather, a phrase which the establisher of the world by law might
pretinately write across the chestfront of all manorwombanborn. The
scene, refreshed, reroused, was never to be forgotten, the hen and
crusader everintermutuomergent, for later in the century one of that
puisne band of factferreters, (then an excivily (out of the custom huts)
(retired), (hurt), under the sixtyfives act) in a dressy black modern style
and wewere shiny tan burlingtons, (tam, homd and dicky, quopriquos
and peajagd) rehearsed it, pippa pointing, with a dignified (copied) bow
to a namecousin of the late archdeacon F. X. Preserved Coppinger (a hot
fellow in his night, may the mouther of guard have mastic on him!) in a
pullwoman of our first transhibernian with one still sadder circumstance
which is a dirkandurk heartskewerer if ever to bring bouncing brimmers
from marbled eyes. Cycloptically through the windowdisks and with
eddying awes the round eyes of the rundreisers, back to back, buck to
bucker, on their airish chaunting car, beheld with intouristing
anterestedness the clad pursue the bare, the bare the green, the green the
frore, the frore the cladagain, as their convoy wheeled encirculingly
abound the gigantig's lifetree, our fireleaved loverlucky blomsterbohm,
phoenix in our woodlessness, haughty, cacuminal, erubescent
(repetition!) whose roots they be asches with lustres of peins. For as
often as the Archicadenus, pleacing aside his Irish Field and craving
their auriculars to recepticle particulars before they got the bump at
Castlebar (mat and far!) spoke of it by request all, hearing in this new
reading of the part whereby, because of Dyas in his machina, the new
garrickson's grimacing grimaldism hypostasised by substintuation the
axiomatic orerotundity of that once grand old elrington bawl, the
copycus's description of that fellowcommuter's play upon countenants,
could simply imagine themselves in their bosom's inmost core, as pro
tem locums, timesported acorss the yawning (abyss), as once they were
seasiders, listening to the cockshyshooter's evensong evocation of the
doomed but always ventriloquent Agitator, (nonot more plangorpound
the     billows   o'er   Thounawahallya      Reef!)    silkhouatted,   a
whallrhosmightiadd, aginsst the dusk of skumring, (would that fane be
Saint Muezzin's calling — holy places! — and this fez brimless as brow
of faithful toucher of the ground, did wish it were — blessed be the
bones! — the ghazi, power of his sword.) his manslayer's gunwielder
protended towards that overgrown leadpencil which was soon,
monumentally at least, to rise as Molyvdokondylon to, to be, to be his
mausoleum (O'dan stod tillsteyne at meisies aye skould show pon) while
olover his exculpatory features, as Roland rung, a wee dropeen of grief
about to sillonise his jouejous, the ghost of resignation diffused a
spectral appealingness, as a young man's drown o'er the fate of his
waters may gloat, similar in origin and akkurat in effective to a beam of
sunshine upon a coffin plate.

      Not olderwise Inn the days of the Bygning would our Traveller
remote, unfriended, from van Demon's Land, some lazy skald or
maundering pote, lift wearywilly his slowcut snobsic eyes to the
semisigns of his zooteac and lengthily lingering along flaskneck, cracket
cup, downtrodden brogue, turfsod, wildbroom, cabbageblad, stockfisch,
longingly learn that there at the Angel were herberged for him poteen
and tea and praties and baccy and wine width woman wordth warbling:
and informally quasi-begin to presquesm'ile to queasithin' (Nonsense!
There was not very much windy Nous blowing at the given moment
through the hat of Mr Melancholy Slow!)

    But in the pragma what formal cause made a smile of that tothink?
Who was he to whom? (O'Breen's not his name nor the brown one his
maid.) Whose are the placewheres? Kiwasti, kisker, kither, kitnabudja?
Tal the tem of the tumulum. Giv the gav of the grube. Be it
cudgelplayers' country, orfishfellows' town or leeklickers' land or
panbpanungopovengreskey. What regnans raised the rains have levelled
but we hear the pointers and can gauge their compass for the melos
yields the mode and the mode the manners plicyman, plansiman,
plousiman, plab. Tsin tsin tsin tsin! The forefarther folkers for a prize of
two peaches with Ming, Ching and Shunny on the lie low lea. We'll sit
down on the hope of the ghouly ghost for the titheman troubleth but his
hantitat hies not here. They answer from their Zoans; Hear the four of
them! Hark torroar of them! I, says Armagh, and a'm proud o'it. I, says
Clonakilty, God help us! I, says Deansgrange, and say nothing. I, says
Barna, and whatabout it? Hee haw! Before he fell hill he filled heaven: a
stream, alplapping streamlet, coyly coiled um, cool of her curls: We
were but thermites then, wee, wee. Our antheap we sensed as a Hill of
Allen, the Barrow for an People, one Jotnursfjaell: and it was a
grummelung amung the porktroop that wonderstruck us as a thunder,
yunder.

    Thus the unfacts, did we possess them, are too imprecisely few to
warrant our certitude, the evidencegivers by legpoll too untrustworthily
irreperible where his adjugers are semmingly freak threes but his
judicandees plainly minus twos. Nevertheless Madam's Toshowus
waxes largely more lifeliked (entrance, one kudos; exits, free) and our
notional gullery is now completely complacent, an exegious monument,
aerily perennious. Oblige with your blackthorns; gamps, degrace! And
there many have paused before that exposure of him by old Tom Quad,
a flashback in which he sits sated, gowndabout, in clericalease habit,
watching bland sol slithe dodgsomely into the nethermore, a globule of
maugdleness about to corrugitate his mild dewed cheek and the tata of a
tiny victorienne, Alys, pressed by his limper looser.

    Yet certes one is. Eher the following winter had overed the pages of
nature's book and till Ceadurbar-atta-Cleath became Dablena Tertia, the
shadow of the huge outlander, maladik, multvult, magnoperous, had
bulked at the bar of a rota of tribunals in manor hall as in thieves'
kitchen, mid pillow talk and chithouse chat, on Marlborough Green as
through Molesworth Fields, here sentenced pro tried with Jedburgh
justice, there acquitted con testimony with benefit of clergy. His Thing
Mod have undone him: and his madthing has done him man. His
beneficiaries are legion in the part he created: they number up his years.
Greatwheel Dunlop was the name was on him: behung, all we are his
bisaacles. As hollyday in his house so was he priest and king to that:
ulvy came, envy saw, ivy conquered. Lou! Lou! They have waved his
green boughs o'er him as they have torn him limb from lamb. For his
muertification and uxpiration and dumnation and annuhulation. With
schreis and grida, deprofound souspirs. Steady, sullivans! Mannequins
pause! Longtong's breach is fallen down but Graunya's spreed's abroad.
Ahdostay, feedailyones, and feel the Flucher's bawls for the total of
your flouts is not fit to fan his fettle, O! Have a ring and sing wohl!
Chin, chin! Chin, chin! And of course all chimed din width the eatmost
boviality. Swiping rums and beaunes and sherries and ciders and negus
and citronnades too. The strongers. Oho, oho, Mester Begge, you're
about to be bagged in the bog again. Bugge. But softsies seufsighed:
Eheu, for gassies! But, lo! lo! by the threnning gods, human, erring and
condonable, what the statues of our kuo, who is the messchef be our
kuang, ashu ashure there, the unforgettable treeshade looms up behind
the jostling judgements of those, as all should owe, malrecapturable
days.

   Tap and pat and tapatagain, (fire firstshot, Missiers the Refuseleers!
Peingpeong! For saxonlootie!) three tommix, soldiers free, cockaleak
and cappapee, of the Coldstream. Guards were walking, in (pardonnez-
leur, je vous en prie, eh?) Montgomery Street. One voiced an opinion in
which on either wide (pardonnez!), nodding, all the Finner Camps
concurred (je vous en prie, eh?). It was the first woman, they said,
souped him, that fatal wellesday, Lili Coninghams, by suggesting him
they go in a field. Wroth mod eldfar, ruth redd stilstand, wrath wrackt
wroth, confessed private Pat Marchison retro. (Terse!) Thus contenters
with santoys play. One of our coming Vauxhall ontheboards who is
resting for the moment (she has been callit by a noted stagey elecutioner
a wastepacket Sittons) was interfeud in a waistend pewty parlour.
Looking perhaps even more pewtyflushed in her cherry derry
padouasoys, girdle and braces by the halfmoon and Seven Stars, russets
from the Blackamoor's Head, amongst the climbing boys at his Eagle
and Child and over the corn and hay emptors at their Black and All
Black, Mrs F . . . A . . . saidaside, half in stage of whisper to her
confidante glass, while recoopering her cartwheel chapot (ahat! — and
we now know what thimbles a baquets on lallance a talls mean), she
hoped Sid Arthar would git a Chrissman's portrout of orange and
lemonsized orchids with hollegs and ether, from the feeatre of the
Innocident, as the worryld had been uncained. Then, while it is odrous
comparisoning to the sprangflowers of his burstday which was a
viridable goddinpotty for the reinworms and the charlattinas and all
branches of climatitis, it has been such a wanderful noyth untirely,
added she, with many regards to Maha's pranjapansies. (Tart!)
Prehistoric, obitered to his dictaphone an entychologist: his propenomen
is a properismenon. A dustman nocknamed Sevenchurches in the
employ of Messrs Achburn, Soulpetre and Ashreborn, prairmakers,
Glintalook, was asked by the sisterhood the vexed question during his
midday collation of leaver and buckrom alternatively with stenk and
kitteney phie in a hashhoush and, thankeaven, responsed impulsively:
We have just been propogandering his nullity suit and what they took
out of his ear among my own crush. All our fellows at O'Dea's sages
with Aratar Calaman he is a cemented brick, buck it all! A more nor
usually sober cardriver, who was jauntingly hosing his runabout, Ginger
Jane, took a strong view. Lorry hosed her as he talked and this is what
he told rewritemen: Irewaker is just a plain pink joint reformee in
private life but folks all have it by brehemons laws he has parliamentary
honours. Eiskaffier said (Louigi's, you know that man's, brillant
Savourain): Mon foie, you wish to ave some homelette, yes, lady! Good,
mein leber! Your hegg he must break himself. See, I crack, so, he sit in
the poele, umbedimbt! A perspirer (over sixty) who was keeping up his
tennises panted he kne ho har twa to clect infamatios but a diffpair
flannels climb wall and trespassing on doorbell. After fullblown
Braddon hear this fresky troterella! A railways barmaid's view (they call
her Spilltears Rue) was thus expressed: to sympathisers of the Dole
Line, Death Avenue, anent those objects of her pity-prompted
ministrance, to wet, man and his syphon. Ehim! It is ever too late to
whissle when Phyllis floods her stable. It would be skarlot shame to
jailahim in lockup, as was proposed to him by the Seddoms creature
what matter what merrytricks went off with his revulverher in
connections with ehim being a norphan and enjoining such wicked illth,
ehim! Well done, Drumcollakill! Kitty Tyrrel is proud of you, was the
reply of a B.O.T. official (O blame gnot the board!) while the Daughters
Benkletter murmured in uniswoon: Golforgilhisjurylegs! Brian Lynsky,
the cub curser, was questioned at his shouting box, Bawlonabraggat,
and gave a snappy comeback, when saying: Paw! Once more I'll
hellbowl! I am for caveman chase and sahara sex, burk you! Them two
bitches ought to be leashed, canem! Up hog and hoar hunt! Paw! A
wouldbe martyr, who is attending on sanit Asitas where he is being
taught to wear bracelets, when grilled on the point, revealed the
undoubted fact that the consequence would be that so long as Sankya
Moondy played his mango tricks under the mysttetry, with shady
apsaras sheltering in his leaves' licence and his shadowers torrifried by
the potent bolts of indradiction, there would be fights all over
Cuxhaven. (Tosh!) Missioner Ida Wombwell, the seventeenyearold
revivalist, said concerning the coincident of interfizzing with grenadines
and other respectable and disgusted peersons using the park: That
perpendicular person is a brut! But a magnificent brut! 'Caligula' (Mr
Danl Magrath, bookmaker, wellknown to Eastrailian poorusers of the
Sydney Parade Ballotin) was, as usual, antipodal with his: striving todie,
hopening tomellow, Ware Splash. Cobbler. We have meat two hourly,
sang out El Caplan Buycout, with the famous padre's turridur's capecast,
meet too ourly, matadear! Dan Meiklejohn, precentor, of S.S. Smack
and Olley's was probiverbal with his upsiduxit: mutatus mutandus.
Dauran's lord ('Sniffpox') and Moirgan's lady ('Flatterfun') took sides
and crossed and bowed to each other's views and recrossed themselves.
The dirty dubs upin their flies, went too free, echoed the dainly drabs
downin their scenities, una mona. Sylvia Silence, the girl detective
(Meminerva, but by now one hears turtlings all over Doveland!) when
supplied with informations as to the several facets of the case in her
cozydozy bachelure's flat, quite overlooking John a'Dream's mews,
leaned back in her really truly easy chair to query restfully through her
vowelthreaded syllabelles: Have you evew thought, wepowtew, that
sheew gweatness was his twadgedy? Nevewtheless accowding to my
considewed attitudes fow this act he should pay the full penalty,
pending puwsuance, as pew Subsec. 32, section 11, of the C. L. A. act
1885, anything in this act to the contwawy notwithstanding. Jarley Jilke
began to silke for he couldn't get home to Jelsey but ended with: He's
got the sack that helped him moult instench of his gladsome rags.
Meagher, a naval rating, seated on one of the granite cromlech setts of
our new fishshambles for the usual aireating after the ever popular act,
with whom were Questa and Puella, piquante and quoite, (this had a
cold in her brain while that felt a sink in her summock, wit's wat, wot's
wet) was encouraged, although nearvanashed himself, by one of his co-
affianced to get your breath, Walt, and gobbit and when ther chidden by
her fastra sastra to saddle up your pance, Naville, thus cor replied to her
other's thankskissing: I lay my two fingerbuttons, fiancee Meagher, (he
speaks!) he was to blame about your two velvetthighs up Horniman's
Hill — as hook and eye blame him or any other piscman? — but I also
think, Puellywally, by the siege of his trousers there was someone else
behind it — you bet your boughtem blarneys — about their three
drummers down Keysars Lane. (Trite!).
    Be these meer marchant taylor's fablings of a race referend with
oddman rex? Is now all seenheard then forgotten? Can it was, one is
fain in this leaden age of letters now to wit, that so diversified outrages
(they have still to come!) were planned and partly carried out against so
staunch a covenanter if it be true than any of those recorded ever took
place for many, we trow, beyessed to and denayed of, are given to us by
some who use the truth but sparingly and we, on this side ought to
sorrow for their pricking pens on that account. The seventh city,
Urovivla, his citadear of refuge, whither (would we believe the laimen
and their counts), beyond the outraved gales of Atreeatic, changing
clues with a baggermalster, the hejirite had fled, silentioussuemeant
under night's altosonority, shipalone, a raven of the wave, (be mercy,
Mara! A he whence Rahoulas!) from the ostmen's dirtby on the old vic,
to forget in expiating manslaughter and, reberthing in remarriment out
of dead seekness to devine previdence, (if you are looking for the bilder
deep your ear on the movietone!) to league his lot, palm and patte, with
a papishee. For mine qvinne I thee giftake and bind my hosenband I
thee halter. The wastobe land, a lottuse land, a luctuous land,
Emeraldilluim, the peasant pastured, in which by the fourth
commandment with promise his days apostolic were to be long by the
abundant mercy of Him Which Thundereth From On High, murmured,
would rise against him with all which in them were, franchisables and
inhabitands, astea as agora, helotsphilots, do him hurt, poor jink, ghostly
following bodily, as were he made a curse for them, the corruptible lay
quick, all saints of incorruption of an holy nation, the common or ere-in-
garden castaway, in red resurrection to condemn so they might convince
him, first pharoah, Humpheres Cheops Exarchas, of their proper sins.
Business bred to speak with a stiff upper lip to all men and most
occasions the Man we wot of took little short of fighting chances but for
all that he or his or his care were subjected to the horrors of the premier
terror of Errorland. (perorhaps!)

    We seem to us (the real Us !) to be reading our Amenti in the sixth
sealed chapter of the going forth by black. It was after the show at
Wednesbury that one tall man, humping a suspicious parcel, when
returning late amid a dense particular on his home way from the second
house of the Boore and Burgess Christy Menestrels by the old spot,
Roy's Corner, had a barkiss revolver placed to his faced with the words:
you're shot, major: by an unknowable assailant (masked) against whom
he had been jealous over, Lotta Crabtree or Pomona Evlyn. More than
that Whenn the Waylayer (not a Lucalizod diocesan or even of the
Glendalough see, but hailing fro' the prow of Little Britain), mention ing
in a bytheway that he, the crawsopper, had, in edition to Reade's cutless
centiblade, a loaded Hobson's which left only twin alternatives as,
viceversa, either he would surely shoot her, the aunt, by pistol, (she
could be okaysure of that!) or, failing of such, bash in Patch's blank face
beyond recognition, pointedly asked with gaeilish gall wodkar blizzard's
business Thornton had with that Kane's fender only to be answered by
the aggravated assaulted that that that was the snaps for him, Midweeks,
to sultry well go and find out if he was showery well able. But how
transparingly nontrue, gentlewriter! His feet one is not a tall man, not at
all, man. No such parson. No such fender. No such lumber. No such
race. Was it supposedly in connection with a girls, Myramy Huey or
Colores Archer, under Flaggy Bridge (for ann there is but one liv and
hir newbridge is her old) or to explode his twelvechamber and force a
shrievalty entrance that the heavybuilt Abelbody in a butcherblue blouse
from One Life One Suit (a men's wear store), with a most decisive bottle
of single in his possession, seized after dark by the town guard at
Haveyoucaught-emerod's temperance gateway was there in a gate's way.

    Fifthly, how parasoliloquisingly truetoned on his first time of
hearing the wretch's statement that, muttering Irish, he had had had
o'gloriously a'lot too much hanguest or hoshoe fine to drink in the
House of Blazes, the Parrot in Hell, the Orange Tree, the Glibt, the Sun,
the Holy Lamb and, lapse not leashed, in Ramitdown's ship hotel since
the morning moment he could dixtinguish a white thread from a black
till the engine of the laws declosed unto Murray and was only falling
fillthefluthered up against the gatestone pier which, with the cow's
bonnet a'top o'it, he falsetook for a cattlepillar with purest peaceablest
intentions. Yet how lamely hobbles the hoy of his then pseudojocax
axplanation how, according to his own story, he vas a process server
and was merely trying to open zozimus a bottlop stoub by mortially
hammering his magnum bonum (the curter the club the sorer the savage)
against the bludgey gate for the boots about the swan, Maurice Behan,
who hastily into his shoes with nothing his hald barra tinnteack and
came down with homp, shtemp and jumphet to the tiltyard from the
wastes a'sleep in his obi ohny overclothes or choker, attracted by the
norse of guns playing Delandy is cartager on the raglar rock to Dulyn,
said war' prised safe in bed as he dreamed that he'd wealthes in mormon
halls when wokenp by a fourth loud snore out of his land of byelo while
hickstrey's maws was grazing in the moonlight by hearing hammering
on the pandywhank scale emanating from the blind pig and anything
like it (oonagh! oonagh!) in the whole history of the Mullingcan Inn he
never. This battering babel allower the door and sideposts, he always
said, was not in the very remotest like the belzey babble of a bottle of
boose which would not rouse him out o'slumber deep but reminded him
loads more of the martiallawsey marses of foreign musikants'
instrumongs or the overthrewer to the third last days of Pompery, if
anything. And that after this most nooningless knockturn the young
reine came down desperate and the old liffopotamus started ploring all
over the plains, as mud as she cud be, ruinating all the bouchers' schurts
and the backers' wischandtugs so that be the chandeleure of the
Rejaneyjailey they were all night wasching the walters of, the weltering
walters off. Whyte.

    Just one moment. A pinch in time of the ideal, musketeers! Alphos,
Burkos and Caramis, leave Astrelea for the astrollajerries and for the
love of the saunces and the honour of Keavens pike puddywhackback to
Pamintul. And roll away the reel world, the reel world, the reel world!
And call all your smokeblushes, Snowwhite and Rosered, if you will
have the real cream! Now for a strawberry frolic! Filons, filoosh!
Cherchons la flamme! Fammfamm! Fammfamm!

    Come on, ordinary man with that large big nonobli head, and that
blanko berbecked fischial ekksprezzion Machinsky Scapolopolos,
Duzinascu or other. Your machelar's mutton leg's getting musclebound
from being too pulled. Noah Beery weighed stone thousand one when
Hazel was a hen. Now her fat's falling fast. Therefore, chatbags, why
not yours? There are 29 sweet reasons why blossomtime's the best.
Elders fall for green almonds when they're raised on bruised stone root
ginger though it winters on their heads as if auctumned round their
waistbands. If you'd had pains in your hairs you wouldn't look so
orgibald. You'd have Colley Macaires on your lump of lead. Now listen,
Mr Leer! And stow that sweatyfunnyadams Simper! Take an old geeser
who calls on his skirt. Note his sleek hair, so elegant, tableau vivant. He
vows her to be his own honeylamb, swears they will be papa pals, by
Sam, and share good times way down west in a guaranteed happy
lovenest when May moon she shines and they twit twinkle all the night,
combing the comet's tail up right and shooting popguns at the stars.
Creampuffs all to dime! Every nice, missymackenzies! For dear old
grumpapar, he's gone on the razzledar, through gazing and crazing and
blazing at the stars. Compree! She wants her wardrobe to hear from
above by return with cash so as she can buy her Peter Robinson
trousseau and cut a dash with Arty, Bert or possibly Charley Chance
(who knows?) so tolloll Mr Hunker you're too dada for me to dance (so
off she goes!) and that's how half the gels in town has got their bottom
drars while grumpapar he's trying to hitch his braces on to his trars. But
old grum he's not so clean dippy between sweet you and yum (not on
your life, boy! not in those trousers! not by a large jugful!) for
someplace on the sly, where Furphy he isn't by, old grum has his gel
number two (bravevow, our Grum!) and he would like to canoodle her
too some part of the time for he is downright fond of his number one but
O he's fair mashed on peaches number two so that if he could only
canoodle the two, chivee chivoo, all three would feel genuinely happy,
it's as simple as A. B. C., the two mixers, we mean, with their
cherrybum chappy (for he is simply shamming dippy) if they all were
afloat in a dreamlifeboat, hugging two by two in his zoo-doo-you-doo, a
tofftoff for thee, missymissy for me and howcameyou-e'enso for Farber,
in his tippy, upindown dippy, tiptoptippy canoodle, can you? Finny.

    Ack, ack, ack. With which clap, trap and soddenment, three to a
loaf, our mutual friends the fender and the bottle at the gate seem to be
implicitly in the same bateau, so to singen, bearing also several of the
earmarks of design, for there is in fact no use in putting a tooth in a
snipery of that sort and the amount of all those sort of things which has
been going on onceaday in and twiceaday out every other nachtistag
among all kinds of promiscious individuals at all ages in private homes
and reeboos publikiss and allover all and elsewhere throughout secular
sequence the country over and overabroad has been particularly
stupendous. To be continued. Federals' Uniteds' Transports' Unions' for
Exultations' of Triumphants' Ecstasies.

    But resuming inquiries. Will it ever be next morning the postal
unionist's (officially called carrier's, Letters Scotch, Limited) strange
fate (Fierceendgiddyex he's hight, d.e., the losel that hucks around
missivemaids' gummibacks) to hand in a huge chain envelope, written
in seven divers stages of ink, from blanchessance to lavandaiette, every
pothook and pancrook bespaking the wisherwife, superscribed and
subpencilled by yours A Laughable Party, with afterwite, S.A.G., to
Hyde and Cheek, Edenberry, Dubblenn, WC? Will whatever will be
written in lappish language with inbursts of Maggyer always seem
semposed, black looking white and white guarding black, in that
siamixed twoatalk used twist stern swift and jolly roger? Will it bright
upon us, nightle, and we plunging to our plight? Well, it might now,
mircle, so it light. Always and ever till Cox's wife, twice Mrs Hahn,
pokes her beak into the matter with Owen K. after her, to see whawa
smutter after, will this kiribis pouch filled with litterish fragments lurk
dormant in the paunch of that halpbrother of a herm, a pillarbox?

    The coffin, a triumph of the illusionist's art, at first blench naturally
taken for a handharp (it is handwarp to tristinguish jubabe from jabule
or either from tubote when all three have just been invened) had been
removed from the hardware premises of Oetzmann and Nephew, a noted
house of the gonemost west, which in the natural course of all things
continues to supply funeral requisites of every needed description. Why
needed, though? Indeed needed (wouldn't you feel like rattanfowl if you
hadn't the oscar!) because the flash brides or bride in their lily boleros
one games with at the Nivynubies' finery ball and your upright grooms
that always come right up with you (and by jingo when they do!) what
else in this mortal world, now ours, when meet there night, mid their
nackt, me there naket, made their nought the hour strikes, would bring
them rightcame back in the flesh, thumbs down, to their orses and their
hashes.

    To proceed. We might leave that nitrience of oxagiants to take its
free of the air and just analectralyse that very chymerical combination,
the gasbag where the warderworks. And try to pour somour heiterscene
up thealmostfere. In the bottled heliose case continuing, Long Lally
Tobkids, the special, sporting a fine breast of medals, and a
conscientious scripturereader to boot in the brick and tin choorch round
the coroner, swore like a Norewheezian tailliur on the stand before the
proper functionary that he was up against a right querrshnorrt of a mand
in the butcher of the blues who, he guntinued, on last epening after
delivering some carcasses mattonchepps and meatjutes on behalf of
Messrs Otto Sands and Eastman, Limericked, Victuallers, went and,
with his unmitigated astonissment, hickicked at the dun and dorass
against all the runes and, when challenged about the pretended hick (it
was kickup and down with him) on his solemn by the imputant imputed,
said simply: I appop pie oath, Phillyps Captain. You did, as I sostressed
before. You are deepknee in error, sir, Madam Tomkins, let me then tell
you, replied with a gentlewomanly salaam MackPartland, (the
meatman's family, and the oldest in the world except nick, name.) And
Phelps was flayful with his peeler. But his phizz fell.

    Now to the obverse. From velveteens to dimities is barely a
fivefinger span and hence these camelback excesses are thought to have
been instigated by one or either of the causing causes of all, those rushy
hollow heroines in their skirtsleeves, be she magretta be she the posque.
Oh! Oh! Because it is a horrible thing to have to say to say to day but
one dilalah, Lupita Lorette, shortly after in a fit of the unexpectednesses
drank carbolic with all her dear placid life before her and paled off
while the other soiled dove that's her sister-in-love, Luperca Latouche,
finding one day while dodging chores that she stripped teasily for
binocular man and that her jambs were jimpjoyed to see each other, the
nautchy girly soon found her fruitful hat too small for her and rapidly
taking time, look, she rapidly took to necking, partying and selling her
spare favours in the haymow or in lumber closets or in the greenawn ad
huck (there are certain intimacies in all ladies' lavastories we just lease
to imagination) or in the sweet churchyard close itself for a bit of soft
coal or an array of thin trunks, serving whom in fine that same hot
coney a la Zingara which our own little Graunya of the chilired cheeks
dished up to the greatsire of Oscar, that son of a Coole. Houri of the
coast of emerald, arrah of the lacessive poghue, Aslim-all-Muslim, the
resigned to her surrender, did not she, come leinster's even, true dotter
of a dearmud, (her pitch was Forty Steps and his perch old Cromwell's
Quarters) with so valkirry a licence as sent many a poor pucker packing
to perdition, again and again, ay, and again sfidare him, tease fido, eh
tease fido, eh eh tease fido, toos topples topple, stop, dug of a dog of a
dgiaour, ye! Angealousmei! And did not he, like Arcoforty, farfar off
Bissavolo, missbrand her behaveyous with iridescent huecry of down
right mean false sop lap sick dope? Tawfulsdreck! A reine of the shee, a
shebeen quean, a queen of pranks. A kingly man, of royal mien, regally
robed, exalted be his glory! So gave so take: Now not, not now! He
would just a min. Suffering trumpet! He thought he want. Whath? Hear,
O hear, living of the land! Hungreb, dead era, hark! He hea, eyes
ravenous on her lippling lills. He hear her voi of day gon by. He hears!
Zay, zay, zay! But, by the beer of his profit, he cannot answer.
Upterputty till rise and shine! Nor needs none shaft ne stele from
Phenicia or Little Asia to obelise on the spout, neither pobalclock
neither folksstone, nor sunkenness in Tomar's Wood to bewray how
erpressgangs score off the rued. The mouth that tells not will ever attract
the unthinking tongue and so long as the obseen draws theirs which hear
not so long till allearth's dumbnation shall the blind lead the deaf.
Tatcho, tawney yeeklings! The column of lumps lends the pattrin of the
leaves behind us. If violence to life, limb and chattels, often as not, has
been the expression, direct or through an agent male, of womanhid
offended, (ah! ah!), has not levy of black mail from the times the fairies
were in it, and fain for wilde erthe blothoms followed an impressive
private reputation for whispered sins?
    Now by memory inspired, turn wheel again to the whole of the wall.
Where Gyant Blyant fronts Peannlueamoore There was once upon a
wall and a hooghoog wall a was and such a wallhole did exist. Ere ore
or ire in Aaarlund. Or you Dair's Hair or you Diggin Mosses or your
horde of orts and oriorts to garble a garthen of Odin and the lost
paladays when all the eddams ended with aves. Armen? The doun is
theirs and still to see for menags if he strikes a lousaforitch and we'll
come to those baregazed shoeshines if you just shoodov a second. And
let oggs be good old gaggles and Isther Estarr play Yesther Asterr. In
the drema of Sorestost Areas, Diseased. A stonehinged gate then was
for another thing while the suroptimist had bought and enlarged that
shack under fair rental of one yearlyng sheep, (prime) value of sixpence,
and one small yearlyng goat (cadet) value of eightpence, to grow old
and happy (hogg it and kidd him) for the reminants of his years; and
when everything was got up for the purpose he put an applegate on the
place by no means as some pretext a bedstead in loo thereof to keep out
donkeys (the pigdirt hanging from the jags to this hour makes that clear)
and just thenabouts the iron gape, by old custom left open to prevent the
cats from getting at the gout, was triplepatlockt on him on purpose by
his faithful poorters to keep him inside probably and possibly enaunter
he felt like sticking out his chest too far and tempting gracious
providence by a stroll on the peoplade's eggday, unused as he was yet to
being freely clodded.
    O, by the by, lets wee brag of praties, it ought to be always
remembered in connection with what has gone before that there was a
northroomer, Herr Betreffender, out for his zimmer holedigs, digging in
number 32 at the Rum and Puncheon (Branch of Dirty Dick's free
house) in Laxlip (where the Sockeye Sammons were stopping at the
time orange fasting) prior to that, a Kommerzial (Gorbotipacco, he was
wreaking like Zentral Oylrubber) from Osterich, the U.S.E. paying
(Gaul save the mark!) 11/- in the week (Gosh, these wholly romads!) of
conscience money in the first deal of Yuly wheil he was, swishing
beesnest with blessure, and swobbing broguen eeriesh myth
brockendootsch, making his reporterage on Der Fall Adams for the
Frankofurto Siding, a Fastland payrodicule, and er, consstated that one
had on him the Lynn O'Brien, meltoned lammswolle, disturbed, and
wider he might the same zurichschicken other he would, with tosend
and obertosend tonnowatters, one monkey's damages become. Now you
must know, franksman, to make a heart of glass, that the game of gaze
and bandstand butchery was merely a Patsy O'Strap tissue of threats and
obuses such as roebucks raugh at pinnacle's peak and after this sort.
Humphrey's unsolicited visitor, Davy or Titus, on a burgley's clan
march from the middle west, a hikely excellent crude man about road
who knew his Bullfoost Mountains like a starling bierd, after doing a
long dance untidled to Cloudy Green, deposend his bockstump on the
waityoumaywantme, after having blew some quaker's (for you! Oates!)
in through the houseking's keyhole to attract attention, bleated through
the gale outside which the tairor of his clothes was hogcallering, first, be
the hirsuiter, that he would break his bulsheywigger's head for him,
next, be the heeltapper, that he would break the gage over his
lankyduckling head the same way he would crack a nut with a
monkeywrench and, last of all, be the stirabouter, that he would give
him his (or theumperom's or anybloody else's) thickerthanwater to drink
and his bleday steppebrodhar's into the bucket. He demanded more
wood alcohol to pitch in with, alleging that his granfather's was all taxis
and that it was only after ten o'connell, and this his isbar was a public
oven for the sake of irsk irskusky, and then, not easily discouraged,
opened the wrathfloods of his atillarery and went on at a wicked rate,
weathering against him in mooxed metaphores from eleven thirty to two
in the afternoon without even a luncheonette interval for House, son of
Clod, to come out, you jewbeggar, to be Executed Amen. Earwicker,
that patternmind, that paradigmatic ear, receptoretentive as his of
Dionysius, longsuffer ing although whitening under restraint in the
sititout corner of his conservatory, behind faminebuilt walls, his
thermos flask and ripidian flabel by his side and a walrus whiskerbristle
for a tuskpick, compiled, while he mourned the flight of his wild
guineese, a long list (now feared in part lost) to be kept on file of all
abusive names he was called (we have been compelled for the
rejoicement of foinne loidies ind the humours of Milltown etcetera by
Josephine Brewster in the collision known as Contrastations with
Inkermann and so on and sononward, lacies in loo water, flee, celestials,
one clean turv): Firstnighter, Informer, Old Fruit, Yellow Whigger,
Wheatears, Goldy Geit, Bogside Beauty, Yass We've Had His Badannas,
York's Porker, Funnyface, At Baggotty's Bend He Bumped, Grease with
the Butter, Opendoor Ospices, Cainandabler, Ireland's Eighth
Wonderful Wonder, Beat My Price, Godsoilman, Moonface the
Murderer, Hoary Hairy Hoax, Midnight Sunburst, Remove that Bible,
Hebdromadary Publocation, Tummer the Lame the Tyrannous, Blau
Clay,   Tight   before   Teatime,   Read   Your Pantojoke,   Acoustic
Disturbance, Thinks He's Gobblasst the Good Dook of Ourguile, W.D.'s
Grace, Gibbering Bayamouth of Dublin, His Farther was a Mundzucker
and She had him in a Growler, Burnham and Bailey, Artist, Unworthy
of the Homely Protestant Religion, Terry Cotter, You're Welcome to
Waterfood, signed the Ribbonmen, Lobsterpot Lardling, All for Arthur
of this Town, Hooshed the Cat from the Bacon, Leathertogs Donald,
The Ace and Deuce of Paupering, O'Reilly's Delights to Kiss the Man
behind the Borrel, Magogagog, Swad Puddlefoot, Gouty Ghibeline,
Loose Luther, Hatches Cocks' Eggs, Muddle the Plan, Luck before
Wedlock, I Divorce Thee Husband, Tanner and a Make, Go to Hellena
or Come to Connies, Piobald Puffpuff His Bride, Purged out of Burke's,
He's None of Me Causin, Barebarean, Peculiar Person, Grunt Owl's
Facktotem, Twelve Months Aristocrat, Lycanthrope, Flunkey Beadle
Vamps the Tune Letting on He's Loney, Thunder and Turf Married into
Clandorf, Left Boot Sent on Approval, Cumberer of Lord's Holy
Ground, Stodge Arschmann, Awnt Yuke, Tommy Furlong's Pet Plagues,
Archdukon Cabbanger, Last Past the Post, Kennealey Won't Tell Thee
off Nancy's Gown, Scuttle to Cover, Salary Grab, Andy Mac Noon in
Annie's Room, Awl Out, Twitchbratschballs, Bombard Street Bester,
Sublime Porter, A Ban for Le King of the Burgaans and a Bom for Ye
Sur of all the Ruttledges, O'Phelim's Cutprice, And at Number Wan Wan
Wan, What He Done to Castlecostello, Sleeps with Feathers end Ropes,
It is Known who Sold Horace the Rattler, Enclosed find the Sons of
Fingal, Swayed in his Falling, Wants a Wife and Forty of Them, Let
Him Do the Fair, Apeegeequanee Chimmuck, Plowp Goes his Whastle,
Ruin of the Small Trader, He — — Milkinghoneybeaverbrooker, Vee
was a Vindner, Sower Rapes, Armenian Atrocity, Sickfish Bellyup,
Edomite, — 'Man Devoyd of the Commoner Characteristics of an Irish
Nature, Bad Humborg, Hraabhraab, Coocoohandler, Dirt, Miching
Daddy, Born Burst Feet Foremost, Woolworth's Worst, Easyathic
Phallusaphist, Guilteypig's Bastard, Fast in the Barrel, Boose in the
Bed, Mister Fatmate, In Custody of the Polis, Boawwll's Alocutionist,
Deposed, but anarchistically respectsful of the liberties of the
noninvasive individual, did not respond a solitary wedgeword beyond
such sedentarity, though it was as easy as kissanywhere for the passive
resistant in the booth he was in to reach for the hello gripes and ring up
Kimmage Outer 17.67, because, as the fundamentalist explained, when
at last shocked into speech, touchin his woundid feelins in the fuchsiar
the dominican mission for the sowsealist potty was on at the time and he
thought the rowmish devowtion known as the howly rowsary might
reeform ihm, Gonn. That more than considerably unpleasant bullocky
before he rang off drunkishly pegged a few glatt stones, all of a size, by
way of final mocks for his grapes, at the wicket in support of his words
that he was not guilphy but, after he had so slaunga vollayed,
reconnoitring through his semisubconscious the seriousness of what he
might have done had he really polished off his terrible intentions finally
caused him to change the bawling and leave downg the whole grumus
of brookpebbles pangpung and, having sobered up a bit, paces his
groundould diablen lionndub, the flay the flegm, the floedy fleshener,
(purse, purse, pursyfurse, I'll splish the splume of them all!) this
backblocks boor bruskly put out his langwedge and quite quit the
paleologic scene, telling how by his selfdenying ordnance he had left
Hyland on the dissenting table, after exhorting Earwicker or, in slightly
modified phraseology, Messrs or Missrs Earwicker, Seir, his feminisible
name of multitude, to cocoa come outside to Mockerloo out of that for
the honour of Crumlin, with his broody old flishguds, Gog's curse to
thim, so as he could brianslog and burst him all dizzy, you go bail, like
Potts Fracture did with Keddle Flatnose and nobodyatall with
Wholyphamous and build rocks over him, or if he didn't, for two and
thirty straws, be Cacao Campbell, he didn't know what he wouldn't do
for him nor nobody else nomore nor him after which, batell martell, a
brisha a milla a stroka a boola, so the rage of Malbruk, playing on the
least change of his manjester's voice, the first heroic couplet from the
fuguall tropical, Opus Elf, Thortytoe: My schemes into obeyance for
This time has had to fall: they bit goodbyte to their thumb and, his
bandol eer his solgier, dripdropdrap on pool or poldier, wishing the loff
a falladelfian in the morning, proceeded with a Hubbleforth slouch in
his slips backwords (Et Cur Heli!) in the directions of the duff and
demb institutions about ten or eleven hundred years lurch away in the
moonshiny gorge of Patself on the Bach. Adyoe!

    And thus, with this rochelly exetur of Bully Acre, came to close that
last stage in the siegings round our archicitadel which we would like to
recall, if old Nestor Alexis would wink the worth for us, as Bar-le-Duc
and Dog-an-Doras and Bangen-opZoom.

    Yed he med leave to many a door beside of Oxmanswold for so
witness his chambered cairns a cloudletlitter silent that are at browse up
hill and down coombe and on eolithostroton, at Howth or at Coolock or
even at Enniskerry, a theory none too rectiline of the evoluation of
human society and a testament of the rocks from all the dead unto some
the living. Olivers lambs we do call them, skatterlings of a stone, and
they shall be gathered unto him, their herd and paladin, as nubilettes to
cumule, in that day hwen, same the lightning lancer of Azava Arthur
honoured (some Finn, some Finn avant!), he skall wake from earthsleep,
haught crested elmer, in his valle of briers of Greenman's Rise O, (lost
leaders live! the heroes return!) and o'er dun and dale the
Wulverulverlord (protect us!) his mighty horn skall roll, orland, roll.

    For in those deyes his Deyus shall ask of Allprohome and call to
himm: Allprohome! And he make answer: Add some. Nor wink nor
wunk. Animadiabolum, mene credidisti mortuum? Silence was in thy
faustive halls, O Truiga, when thy green woods went dry but there will
be sounds of manymirth on the night's ear ringing when our pantriarch
of Comestowntonobble gets the pullover on his boots.
    Liverpoor? Sot a bit of it! His braynes coolt parritch, his pelt nassy,
his heart's adrone, his bluidstreams acrawl, his puff but a piff, his
extremeties extremely so: Fengless, Pawmbroke, Chilblaimend and
Baldowl. Humph is in his doge. Words weigh no no more to him than
raindrips to Rethfernhim. Which we all like. Rain. When we sleep.
Drops. But wait until our sleeping. Drain. Sdops.
   Chapter 4




   As the lion, in our teargarten remembers the nenuphars of his Nile
(shall Ariuz forget Arioun or Boghas the baregams of the
Marmarazalles from Marmeniere?) it may be, tots wearsense full a
naggin in twentyg have sigilposted what in our brievingbust, the
besieged bedreamt him stil and solely of those lililiths undeveiled which
had undone him, gone for age, and knew not the watchful treachers at
his wake, and theirs to stay. Fooi, fooi, chamermissies! Zeepyzoepy,
larcenlads! Zijnzijn Zijnzijn! It may be, we moest ons hasten selves te
declareer it, that he reglimmed? presaw? the fields of heat and yields of
wheat where corngold Ysit? shamed and shone. It may be, we habben to
upseek a bitty door our good township's courants want we knew't, that
with his deepseeing insight (had not wishing oftebeen but good time
wasted), within his patriarchal shamanah, broadsteyne 'bove citie
(Twillby! Twillby!) he conscious of enemies, a kingbilly whitehorsed in
a Finglas mill, prayed, as he sat on anxious seat, (kunt ye neat gift mey
toe bout a peer saft eyballds!) during that three and a hellof hours' agony
of silence, ex profundis malorum, and bred with unfeigned charity that
his wordwounder (an engles to the teeth who, nomened Nash of
Girahash, would go anyold where in the weeping world on his mottled
belly (the rab, the kreeponskneed!) for milk, music or married
missusses) might, mercy to providential benevolence's who hates
prudencies' astuteness, unfold into the first of a distinguished dynasty of
his posteriors, blackfaced connemaras not of the fold but elder children
of his household, his most besetting of ideas (pace his twolve
predamanant passions) being the formation, as in more favoured climes,
where the Meadow of Honey is guestfriendly and the Mountain of Joy
receives, of a truly criminal stratum, Ham's cribcracking yeggs, thereby
at last eliminating from all classes and masses with directly derivative
decasualisation: sigarius (sic!) vindicat urbes terrorum (sicker!): and so,
to mark a bank taal she arter, the obedience of the citizens elp the ealth
of the ole.

    Now gode. Let us leave theories there and return to here's here. Now
hear. 'Tis gode again. The teak coffin, Pughglasspanelfitted, feets to the
east, was to turn in later, and pitly patly near the porpus, materially
effecting the cause. And this, liever, is the thinghowe. Any number of
conservative public bodies, through a number of select and other
committees having power to add to their number, before voting
themselves and himself, town, port and garrison, by a fit and proper
resolution, following a koorts order of the groundwet, once for all out of
plotty existence, as a forescut, so you maateskippey might to you
cuttinrunner on a neuw pack of klerds, made him, while his body still
persisted, their present of a protem grave in Moyelta of the best Lough
Neagh pattern, then as much in demand among misonesans as the Isle of
Man today among limniphobes. Wacht even! It was in a fairly fishy
kettlekerry, after the Fianna's foreman had taken his handful, enriched
with ancient woods and dear dutchy deeplinns mid which were an old
knoll and a troutbeck, vainyvain of her osiery and a chatty sally with
any Wilt or Walt who would ongle her as Izaak did to the tickle of his
rod and watch her waters of her sillying waters of and there now brown
peater arripple (may their quilt gild lightly over his somnolulutent
form!) Whoforyou lies his last, by the wrath of Bog, like the erst curst
Hun in the bed of his treubleu Donawhu.
    Best. This wastohavebeen underground heaven, or mole's paradise
which was probably also an inversion of a phallopharos, intended to
foster wheat crops and to ginger up tourist trade (its architecht, Mgr
Peurelachasse, having been obcaecated lest he should petrifake
suchanevver while the contractors Messrs T. A. Birkett and L. O.
Tuohalls were made invulnerably venerable) first in the west, our
misterbilder, Castlevillainous, openly damned and blasted by means of a
hydromine, system, Sowan and Belting, exploded from a reinvented
T.N.T. bombingpost up ahoy of eleven and thirty wingrests (circiter) to
sternbooard out of his aerial thorpeto, Auton Dynamon, contacted with
the expectant minefield by tins of improved ammonia lashed to her
shieldplated gunwale, and fused into tripupcables, slipping through
tholse and playing down from the conning tower into the ground battery
fuseboxes, all differing as clocks from keys since nobody appeared to
have the same time of beard, some saying by their Oorlog it was
Sygstryggs to nine, more holding with the Ryan vogt it was Dane to
pfife. He afterwards whaanever his blaetther began to fail off him and
his rough bark was wholly husky and, stoop by stoop, he neared it
(wouldmanspare!) carefully lined the ferroconcrete result with rotproof
bricks and mortar, fassed to fossed, and retired beneath the heptarchy of
his towerettes, the beauchamp, byward, bull and lion, the white, the
wardrobe and bloodied, so encouraging (insteppen, alls als hats beliefd!)
additional useful councils public with hoofd offdealings which were
welholden of ladykants te huur out such as the Breeders' Union, the
Guild of Merchants of the Staple et, a.u.c. to present unto him with
funebral pomp, over and above that, a stone slab with the usual Mac
Pelah address of velediction, a very fairworded instance of falsemeaning
adamelegy: We have done ours gohellt with you, Heer Herewhippit,
overgiven it, skidoo!

    But t'house and allaboardshoops! Show coffins, winding sheets,
goodbuy bierchepes, cinerary urns, liealoud blasses, snuffchests,
poteentubbs,    lacrimal    vases,    hoodendoses,      reekwaterbeckers,
breakmiddles, zootzaks for eatlust, including upyourhealthing rookworst
and meathewersoftened forkenpootsies and for that matter, javel also,
any kind of inhumationary bric au brac for the adornment of his
glasstone honophreum, would, met these trein of konditiens, naturally
follow, halas, in the ordinary course, enabling that roundtheworlder
wandelingswight, did suches pass him, to live all safeathomely the
presenile days of his life of opulence, ancient ere decrepitude, late lents
last lenience, till stuffering stage, whaling away the whole of the while
(hypnos chilia eonion!) lethelulled between explosion and reexplosion
(Donnaurwatteur! Hunderthunder!) from grosskopp to megapod,
embalmed, of grand age, rich in death anticipated.

    But abide Zeit's sumonserving, rise afterfall. Blueblitzbolted from
there, knowing the hingeworms of the hallmirks of habitationlesness,
buried burrowing in Gehinnon, to proliferate through all his
Unterwealth, seam by seam, sheol om sheol, and revisit our Uppercrust
Sideria of Utilitarios, the divine one, the hoarder hidden propaguting his
plutorpopular progeniem of pots and pans and pokers and puns from
biddenland to boughtenland, the spearway fore the spoorway.

    The other spring offensive on the heights of Abraham may have
come about all quite by accidence, Foughtarundser (for Breedabrooda
had at length presuaded him to have himself to be as septuply buried as
the murdered Cian in Finntown), had not been three monads in his
watery grave (what vigilantes and ridings then and spuitwyne pledges
with aardappel frittling!) when portrifaction, dreyfussed as ever, began
to ramp, ramp, ramp, the boys are parching. A hoodenwinkle gave the
signal and a blessing paper freed the flood. Why did the patrizien make
him scares with his gruntens? Because the druiven were muskating at
the door. From both Celtiberian camps (granting at the onset for the
sake of argument that men on the two sides in New South Ireland and
Vetera Uladh, bluemin and pillfaces, during the ferment With the Pope
or On the Pope, had, moors or letts, grant ideas, grunted) all conditions,
poor cons and dives mor, each, of course, on the purely doffensive since
the eternals were owlwise on their side every time, were drawn
toowards their Bellona's Black Bottom, once Woolwhite's Waltz
(Ohiboh, how becrimed, becursekissed and bedumbtoit!) some for want
of proper feeding in youth, others already caught in the honourable act
of slicing careers for family and carvers in conjunction; and, if
emaciated nough, the person garrotted may have suggested to
whomever he took the ham of, the plain being involved in darkness, low
cirque waggery, nay, even the first old wugger of himself in the flesh,
whiggissimus incarnadined, when falsesighted by the ifsuchhewas bully
on the hill for there had circulated freely fairly among his opposition the
feeling that in so hibernating Massa Ewacka, who, previous to that
demidetached life, had been known of barmicidal days, cook said,
between soups and savours, to get outside his own length of rainbow
trout and taerts atta tarn as no man of woman born, nay could, like the
great crested brebe, devour his threescoreten of roach per lifeday, ay,
and as many minnow a minute (the big mix, may Gibbet choke him!)
was, like the salmon of his ladderleap all this time of totality secretly
and by suckage feeding on his own misplaced fat.

    Ladies did not disdain those pagan ironed times of the first city
(called after the ugliest Danadune) when a frond was a friend inneed to
carry, as earwigs do their dead, their soil to the earthball where indeeth
we shall calm decline, our legacy unknown. Venuses were gigglibly
temptatrix, vulcans guffawably eruptious and the whole wives' world
frockful of fickles. Fact, any human inyon you liked any erenoon or
efter would take her bare godkin out, or an even pair of hem, (lugod!
lugodoo!) and prettily pray with him (or with em even) everyhe to her
taste, long for luck, tapette and tape petter and take pettest of all. (Tip!)
Wells she'd woo and wills she's win but how the deer knowed where
she'd marry! Arbour, bucketroom, caravan, ditch? Coach, carriage,
wheelbarrow, dungcart?

    Kate Strong, a widow (Tiptip!) — she pulls a lane picture for us, in
a dreariodreama setting, glowing and very vidual, of old dumplan as she
nosed it, a homelike cottage of elvanstone with droppings of biddies,
stinkend pusshies, moggies' duggies, rotten witchawubbles, festering
rubbages and beggars' bullets, if not worse, sending salmofarious germs
in gleefully through the smithereen panes — Widow Strong, then, as her
weaker had turned him to the wall (Tiptiptip!), did most all the
scavenging from good King Hamlaugh's gulden dayne though her lean
besom cleaned but sparingly and her bare statement reads that, there
being no macadamised sidetracks on those old nekropolitan nights in,
barring a footbatter, Bryant's Causeway, bordered with speedwell, white
clover and sorrel a wood knows, which left off, being beaten, where the
plaintiff was struck, she left down, as scavengers, who will be
scavengers must, her filthdump near the Serpentine in Phornix Park (at
her time called Finewell's Keepsacre but later tautaubapptossed Pat's
Purge), that dangerfield circling butcherswood where fireworker oh
flaherty engaged a nutter of castlemallards and ah for archer stunned's
turk, all over which fossil footprints, bootmarks, fingersigns,
elbowdints, breechbowls, a. s. o. were all successively traced of a most
envolving description. What subtler timeplace of the weald than such
wolfsbelly castrament to will hide a leabhar from Thursmen's
brandihands or a loveletter, lostfully hers, that would be lust on Ma,
than then when ructions ended, than here where race began: and by four
hands of forethought the first babe of reconcilement is laid in its last
cradle of hume sweet hume. Give over it! And no more of it! So pass
the pick for child sake! O men!
    For hear Allhighest sprack for krischnians as for propagana fidies
and his nuptial eagles sharped their beaks of prey: and every morphyl
man of us, pome by pome, falls back into this terrine: as it was let it be,
says he! And it is as though where Agni araflammed and Mithra
monished and Shiva slew as mayamutras the obluvial waters of our
noarchic   memory      withdrew,    windingly    goharksome,        to   some
hastyswasty timberman torchpriest, flamenfan, the ward of the wind that
lightened the fire that lay in the wood that Jove bolt, at his rude word.
Posidonius O'Fluctuary! Lave that bloody stone as it is! What are you
doing your dirty minx and his big treeblock way up your path? Slip
around, you, by the rare of the ministers'! And, you, take that barrel
back where you got it, Mac Shane's, and go the way your old one went,
Hatchettsbury Road! And gish! how they gushed away, the pennyfares,
a whole school for scamper, with their sashes flying sish behind them,
all the little pirlypettes! Issy-la-Chapelle! Any lucans, please?

    Yes, the viability of vicinals if invisible is invincible. And we are
not trespassing on his corns either. Look at all the plotsch! Fluminian! If
this was Hannibal's walk it was Hercules' work. And a hungried
thousand of the unemancipated slaved the way. The mausoleum lies
behind us (O Adgigasta, multipopulipater!) and there are milestones in
their cheadmilias faultering along the tramestrack by Brahm and Anton
Hermes! Per omnibus secular seekalarum. Amain. But the past has
made us this present of a rhedarhoad. So more boher O'Connell! Though
rainyhidden, you're rhinohide. And if he's not a Romeo you may scallop
your hat. Wereupunder in the fane of Saint Fiacre! Halte!

    It was hard by the howe's there, plainly on this disoluded and a
buchan cold spot, rupestric then, resurfaced that now is, that Luttrell
sold if Lautrill bought, in the saddle of the Brennan's (now
Malpasplace?) pass, versts and versts from true civilisation, not where
his dreams top their traums halt (Beneathere! Benathere!) but where
livland yontide meared with the wilde, saltlea with flood, that the
attackler, a cropatkin, though under medium and between colours with
truly native pluck, engaged the Adversary who had more in his eye than
was less to his leg but whom for plunder sake, he mistook in the heavy
rain to be Oglethorpe or some other ginkus, Parr aparrently, to whom
the headandheelless chickenestegg bore some Michelangiolesque
resemblance, making use of sacrilegious languages to the defect that he
would challenge their hemosphores to exterminate them but he would
cannonise the b — y b — r's life out of him and lay him out contritely as
smart as the b — r had his b — y nightprayers said, three
patrecknocksters and a couplet of hellmuirries (tout est sacré pour un
sacreur, femme à barbe ou homme-nourrice) at the same time, so as to
plugg well let the blubbywail ghoats out of him, catching holst of an
oblong bar he had and with which he usually broke furnitures he rose
the stick at him. The boarder incident prerepeated itself. The pair
(whethertheywere Nippoluono engaging Wei-Ling-Taou or de Razzkias
trying to reconnoistre the general Boukeleff, man may not say),
struggled apairently for some considerable time, (the cradle rocking
equally to one and oppositely from the other on its law of capture and
recapture), under the All In rules around the booksafe, fighting like
purple top and tipperuhry Swede, (Secremented Servious of the Divine
Zeal!) and in the course of their tussle the toller man, who had opened
his bully bowl to beg, said to the miner who was carrying the worm (a
handy term for the portable distillery which consisted of three vats, two
jars and several bottles though we purposely say nothing of the stiff,
both parties having an interest in the spirits): Let me go, Pautheen! I
hardly knew ye. Later on, after the solstitial pause for refleshmeant, the
same man (or a different and younger him of the same ham) asked in the
vermicular with a very oggly chew-chin-grin: Was six victolios fifteen
pigeon takee offa you, tell he me, stlongfella, by picky-pocky ten to foul
months behindaside? There were some further collidabanter and severe
tries to convert for the best part of an hour and now a woden affair in
the shape of a webley (we at once recognise our old friend Ned of so
many illortemporate letters) fell from the intruser who, as stuck as that
cat to that mouse in that tube of that christchurch organ, (did the imnage
of Girl Cloud Pensive flout above them light young charm, in ribbons
and pigtail?) whereupon became friendly and, saying not his shirt to
tear, to know wanted, joking and knobkerries all aside laying, if his
change companion who stuck still to the invention of his strongbox,
with a tenacity corrobberating their mutual tenitorial rights, happened to
have the loots change of a tenpound crickler about him at the moment,
addling that hap so, he would pay him back the six vics odd, do you see,
out of that for what was taken on the man of samples last Yuni or Yuly,
do you follow me, Capn? To this the other, Billi with the Boule, who
had mummed and mauled up to that (for he was hesitency carried to
excelcism) rather amusedly replied: Woowoo would you be grossly
surprised, Hill, to learn that, as it so happens, I honestly have not such a
thing as the loo, as the least chance of a tinpanned crackler anywhere
about me at the present mohomoment but I believe I can see my way, as
you suggest, it being Yuletide or Yuddanfest and as it's mad nuts, son,
for you when it's hatter's hares, mon, for me, to advance you something
like four and sevenpence between hopping and trapping which you
might just as well have, boy baches, to buy J. J. and S. with. There was
a minute silence before memory's fire's rekindling and then. Heart alive!
Which at very first wind of gay gay and whiskwigs wick's ears pricked
up, the starving gunman, strike him pink, became strangely calm and
forthright sware by all his lards porsenal that the thorntree of sheol
might ramify up his Sheofon to the lux apointlex but he would go good
to him suntime marx my word fort, for a chip off the old Flint, (in the
Nichtian glossery which purveys aprioric roots for aposteriorious
tongues this is nat language at any sinse of the world and one might as
fairly go and kish his sprogues as fail to certify whether the wartrophy
eluded at some lives earlier was that somethink like a jug, to what, a
coctable) and remarxing in languidoily, seemingly much more highly
pleased than tongue could tell at this opening of a lifetime and the
foretaste of the Dun Bank pearlmothers and the boy to wash down
which he would feed to himself in the Ruadh Cow at Tallaght and then
into the Good Woman at Ringsend and after her inat Conway's Inn at
Blackrock and, first to fall, cursed be all, where appetite would keenest
be, atte, funeral fare or fun fain real, Adam and Eve's in Quantity Street
by the grace of gamy queen Tailte, her will and testament: You stunning
little southdowner! I'd know you anywhere, Declaney, let me truthfully
tell you in or out of the lexinction of life and who the hell else, be your
blanche patch on the boney part! Goalball I've struck this daylit dielate
night of nights, by golly! My hat, you have some bully German grit,
sundowner! He spud in his faust (axin); he toped the raw best (pardun);
he poked his pick (a tip is a tap): and he tucked his friend's leave. And,
with French hen or the portlifowlium of hastes and leisures, about to
continue that, the queer mixture exchanged the pax in embrace or
poghue puxy as practised between brothers of the same breast, hillelulia,
killelulia, allenalaw, and, having ratified before the god of the day their
torgantruce which belittlers have schmallkalled the treatyng to cognac,
turning his fez menialstrait in the direction of Moscas, he first got rid of
a few mitsmillers and hurooshoos and levanted off with tubular
jurbulance at a bull's run over the assback bridge, spitting his teeths on
rooths, with the seven and four in danegeld and their humoral hurlbat or
other uncertain weapon of lignum vitae, but so evermore rhumanasant
of a toboggan poop, picked up to keep some crowplucking appointment
with some rival rialtos anywheres between Pearidge and the Littlehorn
while this poor delaney, who they left along with the confederate fender
behind and who albeit ballsbluffed, bore up wonderfully wunder all of it
with a whole number of plumsized contusiums, plus alasalah bruised
coccyx, all over him, reported the occurance in the best way he could, to
the flabbergaze of the whole lab, giving the Paddybanners the military
salute as for his exilicy's the O'Daffy, in justifiable hope that, in
nobiloroman review of the hugely sitisfactuary conclusium of their
negotiations and the jugglemonkysh agripment deinderivative, some
lotion or fomentation of poppyheads would be jennerously exhibited to
the parts, at the nearest watchhouse in Vicar Lane, the white ground of
his face all covered with digonally redcrossed nonfatal mammalian
blood as proofpositive of the seriousness of his character and that he
was bleeding in self defience (stanch it!) from the nostrils, lips, pavilion
and palate, while some of his hitter's hairs had been pulled off his knut's
head by Colt though otherwise his allround health appeared to be
middling along as it proved most fortunate that not one of the two
hundred and six bones and five hundred and one muscles in his corso
was a whit the whorse for her whacking. Herwho?

    Nowthen, leaving clashing ash, brawn and muscle and brassmade to
oust earthernborn and rockcrystal to wreck isinglass but wurming along
gradually for our savings backtowards motherwaters so many miles
from bank and Dublin stone (olympiading even till the eleventh dynasty
to reach that thuddysickend Hamlaugh) and to the question of boney's
unlawfully obtaining a pierced paraflamme and claptrap fireguard there
crops out the still more salient point of the politish leanings and town
pursuits of our forebeer, El Don De Dunelli, (may his ship thicked stick
in the bottol of the river and all his crewsers stock locked in the burral
of the seas!) who, when within the black of your toenail, sir, of being
mistakenly ambushed by one of the uddahveddahs, and as close as made
no matter, mam, to being kayoed offhand when the hyougono heckler
with the Peter the Painter wanted to hole him, was consistently
practising the first of the primary and imprescriptible liberties of the
pacific subject by circulating (be British, boys to your bellybone and
chuck a chum a chance!) alongst one of our umphrohibited semitary
thrufahrts, open to buggy and bike, to walk, Wellington Park road, with
the curb or quaker's quacknostrum under his auxter and his alpenstuck
in his redhand, a highly commendable exercise, or, number two of our
acta legitima plebeia, on the brink (beware to baulk a man at his will!)
of taking place upon a public seat, to what, bare by Butt's, most easterly
(but all goes west!) of blackpool bridges, as a public protest and
naturlikevice, without intent to annoy either, being praisegood
thankfully for the wrathbereaved ringdove and the fearstung
boaconstrictor and all the more right jollywell pleased, which he was, at
having other people's weather.

    But to return to the atlantic and Phenitia Proper. As if that were not
to be enough for anyone but little headway, if any, was made in solving
the wasnottobe crime cunundrum when a child of Maam, Festy King, of
a family long and honourably associated with the tar and feather
industries, who gave an address in old plomansch Mayo of the Saxons
in the heart of a foulfamed potheen district, was subsequently haled up
at the Old Bailey on the calends of Mars, under an incompatibly framed
indictment of both the counts (from each equinoxious points of view,
the one fellow's fetch being the other follow's person) that is to see,
flying cushats out of his ouveralls and making fesses immodst his forces
on the field. Oyeh! Oyeh! When the prisoner, soaked in methylated,
appeared in dry dock, appatently ambrosiaurealised, like Kersse's
Korduroy Karikature, wearing, besides stains, rents and patches, his
fight shirt, straw braces, souwester and a policeman's corkscrew
trowswers, all out of the true (as he had purposely torn up all his
cymtrymanx bespokes in the mamertime), deposing for his exution with
all the fluors of sparse in the royal Irish vocabulary how the whole
padderjagmartin tripiezite suet and all the sulfeit of copperas had fallen
off him quatz unaccountably like the chrystalisations of Alum on Even
while he was trying for to stick fire to himcell, (in feacht he was
dripping as he found upon stripping for a pipkin ofmalt as he feared the
coold raine) it was attempted by the crown (P.C. Robort) to show that
King, elois Crowbar, once known as Meleky, impersonating a climbing
boy, rubbed some pixes of any luvial peatsmoor o'er his face, plucks and
pussas, with a clanetourf as the best means of disguising himself and
was to the middlewhite fair in Mudford of a Thoorsday, feishts of Peeler
and Pole, under the illassumed names of Tykingfest and Rabworc
picked by him and Anthony out of a tellafun book, ellegedly with a
pedigree pig (unlicensed) and a hyacinth. They were on that sea by the
plain of Ir nine hundred and ninetynine years and they never cried crack
or ceased from regular paddlewicking till that they landed their two and
a trifling selves, amadst camel and ass, greybeard and suckling, priest
and pauper, matrmatron and merrymeg, into the meddle of the
mudstorm. The gathering, convened by the Irish Angricultural and
Prepostoral Ouraganisations, to help the Irish muck to look his brother
dane in the face and attended thanks to Larry by large numbers, of
christies and jew's totems, tospite of the deluge, was distinctly of a
scattery kind when the ballybricken he could get no good of, after
cockofthewalking through a few fancyfought mains ate some of the
doorweg, the pikey later selling the gentleman ratepayer because she,
Francie's sister, that is to say, ate a whole side of his (the animal's) sty,
on a struggle Street, Qui Sta Troia, in order to pay off, hiss or lick, six
doubloons fifteen arrears of his, the villain's not the rumbler's rent.

    Remarkable evidence was given, anon, by an eye, ear, nose and
throat witness, whom Wesleyan chapelgoers suspected of being a plain
clothes priest W.P., situate at Nullnull, Medical Square, who, upon
letting down his rice and peacegreen coverdisk and having been sullenly
cautioned against yawning while being grilled, smiled (he had had a
onebumper at parting from Mrs Molroe in the morning) and stated to his
eliciter under his morse mustaccents (gobbless!) that he slept with a
bonafides and that he would be there to remember the filth of
November, hatinaring, rowdy O, which, with the jiboulees of Juno and
the dates of ould lanxiety, was going, please the Rainmaker, to decembs
within the ephemerides of profane history, all one with Tournay,
Yetstoslay and Temorah, and one thing which would pigstickularly
strike a person of such sorely tried observational powers as Sam, him
and Moffat, though theirs not to reason why, the striking thing about it
was that he was patrified to see, hear, taste and smell, as his time of
night, how Hyacinth O'Donnell, B.A., described in the calendar as a
mixer and wordpainter, with part of a sivispacem (Gaeltact for
dungfork) on the fair green at the hour of twenty-four o'clock sought
(the bullycassidy of the friedhoffer!) to sack, sock, stab and slaughter
singlehanded another two of the old kings, Gush Mac Gale and Roaring
O'Crian, Jr., both changelings, unlucalised, of no address and in
noncommunicables, between him and whom, ever since wallops before
the Mise of Lewes, bad blood existed on the ground of the boer's
trespass on the bull or because he firstparted his polarbeeber hair in
twoways, or because they were creepfoxed andt grousuppers over a
nippy in a noveletta, or because they could not say meace, (mute and
daft) meathe. The litigants, he said, local congsmen and donalds, kings
of the arans and the dalkeys, kings of mud and tory, even the goat king
of Killorglin, were egged on by their supporters in the shape of
betterwomen with bowstrung hair of Carrothagenuine ruddiness, waving
crimson petties and screaming from Isod's towertop. There were cries
from the thicksets in court and from the macdublins on the
bohernabreen of: Mind the bank from Banagher, Mick, sir! Prodooce
O'Donner. Ay! Exhibit his relics! Bu! Use the tongue mor! Give lip
less! But it oozed out in Deadman's Dark Scenery Court through
crossexanimation of the casehardened testis that when and where that
knife of knifes the treepartied ambush was laid (roughly spouting
around half hours 'twixt dusk in dawn, by Waterhose's Meddle Europeic
Time, near Stop and Think, high chief evervirens and only abfalltree in
auld the land) there was not as much light from the widowed moon as
would dim a child's altar. The mixer, accordingly, was bluntly broached,
and in the best basel to boot, as to whether he was one of those lucky
cocks for whom the audible-visible-gnosible-edible world existed. That
he was only too cognitively conatively cogitabundantly sure of it
because,        living,    loving,     breathing        and    sleeping
morphomelosophopancreates, as he most significantly did, whenever he
thought    he     heard   he   saw   he    felt    he   made   a    bell
clipperclipperclipperclipper. Whether he was practically sure too of his
lugs and truies names in this king and blouseman business? That he was
pediculously so. Certified? As cad could be. Be lying! Be the lonee I
will. It was Morbus O' Somebody? A'Quite. Szerday's Son? A satyr in
weddens. And how did the greeneyed mister arrive at the B.A.? That it
was like his poll. A crossgrained trapper with murty odd oogs,
awflorated ares, inquiline nase and a twithcherous mouph? He would
be. Who could bit you att to a tenyerdfuul when aastalled? Ballera
jobbera. Some majar bore too? Iguines. And with tumblerous legs,
redipnominated Helmingham Erchenwyne Rutter Egbert Crumwall
Odin Maximus Esme Saxon Esa Vercingetorix Ethelwulf Rupprecht
Ydwalla Bentley Osmund Dysart Yggdrasselmann? Holy Saint Eiffel,
the very phoenix! It was Chudley Magnall once more between the
deffodates and the dumb scene? The two childspies waapreesing him
auza de Vologue but the renting of his rock was from the three wicked
Vuncouverers Forests bent down awhits, arthou sure? Yubeti,
Cumbilum comes! One of the oxmen's thingabossers, hvad? And had he
been refresqued by the founts of bounty playing there — is — a — pain
— aleland in Long's gourgling barral? A loss of Lordedward and a lack
of sirphilip a surgeonet showeradown could suck more gargling bubbles
out of the five lamps in Portterand's praise. Wirrgeling and maries? As
whose wouldn't, laving his leaftime in Blackpool. But, of course, he
could call himself Tem, too, if he had time to? You butt he could
anytom. When he pleased? Win and place. A stoker temptated by
evesdripping aginst the driver who was a witness as well? Sacred avatar,
how the devil did they guess it! Two dreamyums in one dromium? Yes
and no error. And both as like as a duel of lentils? Peacisely. So he was
pelted out of the coram populo, was he? Be the powers that be he was.
The prince in principel should not expose his person? Macchevuole!
Rooskayman kamerad? Sooner Gallwegian he would say. Not
unintoxicated, fair witness? Drunk as a fishup. Askt to whether she
minded whither he smuked? Not if he barkst into phlegms. Anent his
ajaciulations to his Crosscann Lorne, cossa? It was corso in cursu on
coarser again. The gracious miss was we not doubt sensible how
yellowatty on the forx was altered? That she esually was, O'Dowd me
not! As to his religion, if any? It was the see-you-Sunday sort. Exactly
what he meant by a pederast prig? Bejacob's, just a gent who prayed his
lent. And if middleclassed portavorous was a usual beast? Bynight as
useful as a vomit to a shorn man. If he had rognarised dtheir gcourts
marsheyls? Dthat nday in ndays he had. Lindendelly, coke or skilllies
spell me gart without a gate? Harlyadrope. The grazing rights (Mrs
Magistra Martinetta) expired with the expiry of the goat's sire, if they
were not mistaken? That he exactly could not tell the worshipfuls but
his mother-in-waders had the recipis for the price of the coffin and that
he was there to tell them that herself was the velocipede that could tell
them kitcat. A maundarin tongue in a pounderin jowl? Father ourder
about the mathers of prenanciation. Distributary endings? And we
recommends. Quare hircum? No answer. Unde gentium fe . . . ? No ah.
Are you not danzzling on the age of a vulcano? Siar, I am deed. And
how olld of him? He was intendant to study pulu. Which was meant in a
shirt of two shifts macoghamade or up Finn, threehatted ladder? That a
head in thighs under a bush at the sunface would bait a serpent to a
millrace through the heather. Arm bird colour defdum ethnic fort
perharps? Sure and glomsk handy jotalpheson as well. Hokey jasons,
then, in a pigeegeeses? On a pontiff's order as ture as there's an ital on
atac. As a gololy bit to joss? Leally and tululy. But, why this
hankowchaff and whence this second tone, son-yet-sun? He had the
cowtaw in his buxers flay of face. So this that Solasistras, setting odds
evens at defiance, took the laud from Labouriter? What displaced Tob,
Dilke and Halley, not been greatly in love with the game. And,
changing the venders, from the king's head to the republican's arms, as
to the pugnaxities evinxed from flagfall to antepost during the effrays
round fatherthyme's beckside and the regents in the plantsown raining,
with the skiddystars and the morkernwindup, how they appealed to him
then? That it was wildfires night on all the bettygallaghers.
Mickmichael's soords shrieking shrecks through the wilkinses and
neckanicholas' toastingforks pricking prongs up the tunnybladders. Let
there be fight? And there was. Foght. On the site of the Angel's, you
said? Guinney's Gap, he said, between what they said and the
pussykitties. In the middle of the garth, then? That they mushn't toucht
it. The devoted couple was or were only two disappainted solicitresses
on the job of the unfortunate class on Saturn's mountain fort? That was
about it, jah! And Camellus then said to Gemellus: I should know you?
Parfaitly. And Gemellus then said to Camellus: Yes, your brother?
Obsolutely. And if it was all about that, egregious sir? About that and
the other. If he was not alluding to the whole in the wall? That he was
when he was not eluding from the whole of the woman. Briefly, how
such beginall finally struck him now? Like the crack that bruck the bank
in Multifarnham. Whether he fell in with what they meant? Cursed that
he suppoxed he did. Thos Thoris, Thomar's Thom? The rudacist rotter
in Roebuckdom. Surtopical? And subhuman. If it was, in yappanoise
language, ach bad clap? Oo! Ah! Augs and ohrs with Rhian O'kehley to
put it tertianly, we wrong? Shocking! Such as turly pearced our really's
that he might, that he might never, that he might never that night?
Treely                            and                              rurally.
Bladyughfoulmoecklenburgwhurawhorascortastrumpapornanennykocks
apastippatappatupperstrippuckputtanach, eh? You have it alright.

    Meirdreach an Oincuish! But a new complexion was put upon the
matter when to the perplexedly uncondemnatory bench (whereon punic
judgeship strove with penal law) the senior king of all, Pegger Festy, as
soon as the outer layer of stucckomuck had been removed at the request
of a few live jurors, declared in a loudburst of poesy, through his
Brythonic interpreter on his oath, mhuith peisth mhuise as fearra bheura
muirre hriosmas, whereas take notice be the relics of the bones of the
story bouchal that was ate be Cliopatrick (the sow) princess of parked
porkers, afore God and all their honours and king's commons that, what
he would swear to the Tierney of Dundalgan or any other Tierney, yif
live thurkells folloged him about sure that was no steal and that,
nevertheless, what was deposited from that eyebold earbig noseknaving
gutthroat, he did not fire a stone either before or after he was born down
and up to that time. And, incidentalising that they might talk about
Markarthy or they might walk to Baalastartey or they might join the
nabour party and come on to Porterfeud this the sockdologer had the
neck to endorse with the head bowed on him over his outturned
noreaster by protesting to his lipreaders with a justbeencleaned
barefacedness, abeam of moonlight's hope, in the same trelawney what
he would impart, pleas bench, to the Llwyd Josus and the gentlemen in
Jury's and the four of Masterers who had been all those yarns yearning
for that good one about why he left Dublin, that, amreeta beaker
coddling doom, as an Inishman was as good as any cantonnatal, if he
was to parish by the market steak before the dorming of the mawn, he
skuld never ask to see sight or light of this world or the other world or
any either world, of Tyrenan-Og, as true as he was there in that
jackabox that minute, or wield or wind (no thanks t'yous!) the
inexousthausthible wassailhorn tot of iskybaush the hailth up the wailth
of the endknown abgod of the fire of the moving way of the hawks with
his heroes in Warhorror if ever in all his exchequered career he up or
lave a chancery hand to take or throw the sign of a mortal stick or stone
at man, yoelamb or salvation army either before or after being puptised
down to that most holy and every blessed hour. Here, upon the
halfkneed castleknocker's attempting kithoguishly to lilt his holymess
the paws and make the sign of the Roman Godhelic faix, (Xaroshie,
zdrst!— in his excitement the laddo had broken exthro Castilian into
which the whole audience perseguired and pursuited him olla podrida)
outbroke much yellachters from owners in the heall (Ha!) in which,
under the mollification of methaglin, the testifighter reluctingly, but
with ever so ladylike indecorum, joined. (Ha! Ha!)

    The hilariohoot of Pegger's Windup cumjustled as neatly with the
tristitone of the Wet Pinter's as were they isce et ille equals of opposites,
evolved by a onesame power of nature or of spirit, iste, as the sole
condition and means of its himundher manifestation and polarised for
reunion by the symphysis of their antipathies. Distinctly different were
their duasdestinies. Whereas the maidies of the bar, (a pairless trentene,
a lunarised score) when the eranthus myrrmyrred: Show'm the Posed:
fluttered and flattered around the willingly pressed, nominating him for
the swiney prize, complimenting him, the captivating youth, on his
having all his senses about him, stincking thyacinths through his curls
(O feen! O deur!) and bringing busses to his cheeks, their masculine
Oirisher Rose (his neece cleur!), and legando round his nice new neck
for him and pizzicagnoling his woolywags, with their dindy dandy sugar
de candy mechree me postheen flowns courier to belive them of all his
untiring young dames and send treats in their times. Ymen. But it was
not unobserved of those presents, their worships, how, of one among all,
her deputised to defeme him by the Lunar Sisters' Celibacy Club, a
lovelooking leapgirl, all all alonely, Gentia Gemma of the
Makegiddyculling Reeks, he, wan and pale in his unmixed admiration,
seemed blindly, mutely, tastelessly, tactlessly, innamorate with
heruponhim in shining aminglement, the shaym of his hisu shifting into
the shimmering of her hers, (youthsy, beautsy, hee's her chap and shey'll
tell memmas when she gays whom) till the wild wishwish of her
sheeshea melted most musically mid the dark deepdeep of his
shayshaun.

    And whereas distracted (for was not just this in effect which had
just caused that the effect of that which it had caused to occur?) the four
justicers laid their wigs together, Untius, Muncius, Punchus and Pylax
but could do no worse than promulgate their standing verdict of Nolans
Brumans whereoneafter King, having murdered all the English he knew,
picked out his pockets and left the tribunal scotfree, trailing his
Tommeylommey's tunic in his hurry, thereinunder proudly showing off
the blink pitch to his britgits to prove himself (an't plase yous!) a rael
genteel. To the Switz bobbyguard's curial but courtlike: Commodore
valley O hairy, Arthre jennyrosy?: the firewaterloover returted with
such a vinesmelling fortytudor ages rawdownhams tanyouhide as would
the latten stomach even of a tumass equinous (we were prepared for the
chap's clap cap, the accent, but, took us as, by surprise and now we're
geshing it like gush gash from a burner!) so that all the twofromthirty
advocatesses within echo, pulling up their briefs at the krigkry: Shun the
Punman!: safely and soundly soccered that fenemine Parish Poser, (how
dare he!) umprumptu rightoway hames, much to his thanks,
gratiasagam, to all the wrong donatrices, biss Drinkbattle's Dingy
Dwellings where (for like your true venuson Esau he was dovetimid as
the dears at Bottome) he shat in (zoo), like the muddy goalbind who he
was (dun), the chassetitties belles conclaiming: You and your gift of
your gaft of your garbage abaht our Farvver! and gaingridando: Hon!
Verg! Nau! Putor! Skam! Schams! Shames!

    And so it all ended. Artha kama dharma moksa. Ask Kavya for the
kay. And so everybody heard their plaint and all listened to their plause.
The letter! The litter! And the soother the bitther! Of eyebrow pencilled,
by lipstipple penned. Borrowing a word and begging the question and
stealing tinder and slipping like soap. From dark Rosa Lane a sigh and a
weep, from Lesbia Looshe the beam in her eye, from lone Coogan Barry
his arrow of song, from Sean Kelly's anagrim a blush at the name, from
I am the Sullivan that trumpeting tramp, from Suffering Dufferin the Sit
of her Style, from Kathleen May Vernon her Mebbe fair efforts, from
Fillthepot Curran his scotchlove machreether, from hymn Op. 2 Phil
Adolphos the weary O, the leery, O, from Samyouwill Leaver or
Damyouwell Lover thatjolly old molly bit or that bored saunter by, from
Timm Finn again's weak tribes, loss of strenghth to his sowheel, from
the wedding on the greene, agirlies, the gretnass of joyboys, from Pat
Mullen, Tom Mallon, Dan Meldon, Don Maldon a slickstick picnic
made in Moate by Muldoons. The solid man saved by his sillied
woman. Crackajolking away like a hearse on fire. The elm that
whimpers at the top told the stone that moans when stricken. Wind
broke it. Wave bore it. Reed wrote of it. Syce ran with it. Hand tore it
and wild went war. Hen trieved it and plight pledged peace. It was
folded with cunning, sealed with crime, uptied by a harlot, undone by a
child. It was life but was it fair? It was free but was it art? The old hunks
on the hill read it to perlection. It made ma make merry and sissy so shy
and rubbed some shine off Shem and put some shame into Shaun. Yet
Una and Ita spill famine with drought and Agrippa, the propastored,
spells tripulations in his threne. Ah, furchte fruchte, timid Danaides!
Ena milo melomon, frai is frau and swee is too, swee is two when swoo
is free, ana mala woe is we! A pair of sycopanties with amygdaleine
eyes, one old obster lumpky pumpkin and three meddlars on their slies.
And that was how framm Sin fromm Son, acity arose, finfin funfun, a
sitting arrows. Now tell me, tell me, tell me then!

    What was it?

    A .......... !

    ? ..........O!

    So there you are now there they were, when all was over again, the
four with them, setting around upin their judges' chambers, in the
muniment room, of their marshalsea, under the suspices of Lally,
around their old traditional tables of the law like Somany Solans to talk
it over rallthesameagain. Well and druly dry. Suffering law the dring.
Accourting to king's evelyns. So help her goat and kiss the bouc.
Festives and highajinks and jintyaun and her beetyrossy bettydoaty and
not to forget now a'duna o'darnel. The four of them and thank court now
there were no more of them. So pass the push for port sake. Be it soon.
Ah ho! And do you remember, Singabob, the badfather, the same, the
great Howdoyoucallem, and his old nickname, Dirty Daddy Pantaloons,
in his monopoleums, behind the war of the two roses, with Michael
Victory, the sheemen's preester, before he caught his paper dispillsation
from the poke, old Minace and Minster York? Do I mind? I mind the
gush off the mon like Ballybock manure works on a tradewinds day.
And the O'Moyly gracies and the O'Briny rossies chaffing him
bluchface and playing him pranks. How do you do, todo, North Mister?
Get into my way! Ah dearome forsailoshe! Gone over the bays! When
ginabawdy meadabawdy! Yerra, why would he heed that old gasometer
with his hooping coppin and his dyinboosycough and all the birds of the
southside after her, Minxy Cunningham, their dear divorcee darling,
jimmies and jonnies to be her jo? Hold hard. There's three other corners
to our isle's cork float. Sure, 'tis well I can telesmell him H2CE3 that
would take a township's breath away! Gob and I nose him too well as I
do meself, heaving up the Kay Wall by the 32 to 11 with his
limelooking horsebags full of sesameseed, the Whiteside Kaffir, and his
sayman's effluvium and his scentpainted voice, puffing out his
thundering big brown cabbage! Pa! Thawt I'm glad a gull for his
pawsdeen fiunn! Goborro, sez he, Lankyshied! Gobugga ye, sez I! O
breezes! I sniffed that lad long before anyone. It was when I was in my
farfather out at the west and she and myself, the redheaded girl,
firstnighting down Sycomore Lane. Fine feelplay we had of it mid the
kissabetts frisking in the kool kurkle dusk of the lushiness. My perfume
of the pampas, says she (meaning me) putting out her netherlights, and
I'd sooner one precious sip at your pure mountain dew than enrich my
acquaintance with that big brewer's belch.

    And so they went on, the fourbottle men, the analists, unguam and
nunguam and lunguam again, their anschluss about her whosebefore and
his whereafters and how she was lost away away in the fern and how he
was founded deap on deep in anear, and the rustlings and the twitterings
and the raspings and the snappings and the sighings and the paintings
and the ukukuings and the (hist!) the springapartings and the (hast!) the
bybyscuttlings and all the scandalmunkers and the pure craigs that used
to be (up) that time living and lying and rating and riding round
Nunsbelly Square. And all the buds in the bush. And the laughing
jackass. Harik! Harik! Harik! The rose is white in the darik! And
Sunfella's nose has got rhinoceritis from haunting the roes in the parik!
So all rogues lean to rhyme. And contradrinking themselves about
Lillytrilly law pon hilly and Mrs Niall of the Nine Corsages and the old
markiss their besterfar, and, arrah, sure there was never a marcus at all
at all among the manlies and dear Sir Armoury, queer Sir Rumoury, and
the old house by the churpelizod, and all the goings on so very wrong
long before when they were going on retreat, in the old gammeldags, the
four of them, in Milton's Park under lovely Father Whisperer and
making her love with his stuffstuff in the languish of flowers and feeling
to find was she mushymushy, and wasn't that very both of them, the
saucicissters, a drahereen o machree!, and (peep!) meeting waters most
improper (peepette!) ballround the garden, trickle trickle trickle triss,
please, miman, may I go flirting? farmers gone with a groom and how
they used her, mused her, licksed her and cuddled. I differ with ye! Are
you sure of yourself now? You're a liar, excuse me! I will not and you're
another! And Lully holding their breach of the peace for them. Pool loll
Lolly! To give and to take! And to forego the pasht! And all will be
forgotten! Ah ho! It was too too bad to be falling out about her kindness
pet and the shape of O O O O O O O O Ourang's time. Well, all right,
Lelly. And shakeahand. And schenkusmore. For Craig sake. Be it suck.

    Well?

    Well, even should not the framing up of such figments in the
evidential order bring the true truth to light as fortuitously as a dim
seer's setting of a starchart might (heaven helping it!) uncover the
nakedness of an unknown body in the fields of blue or as forehearingly
as the sibspeeches of all mankind have foliated (earth seizing them!)
from the root of some funner's stotter all the soundest sense to be found
immense our special mentalists now holds (securus iudicat orbis
terrarum) that by such playing possum our hagious curious encestor
bestly saved his brush with his posterity, you, charming coparcenors, us,
heirs of his tailsie. Gundogs of all breeds were beagling with renounced
urbiandorbic bugles, hot to run him, given law, on a scent breasthigh,
keen for the worry. View! From his holt outratted across the Juletide's
genial   corsslands   of   Humfries    Chase    from   Mullinahob     and
Peacockstown, then bearing right upon Tankardstown, the outlier, a
white noelan which Mr Loewensteil Fitz Urse's basset beaters had first
misbadgered for a bruin of some swart, led bayers the run, then through
Raystown and Horlockstown and, louping the loup, to Tankardstown
again. Ear canny hare for doubling through Cheeverstown they raced
him, through Loughlinstown and Nutstown to wind him by the Boolies.
But from the good turn when he last was lost, check, upon Ye Hill of
Rut in full winter coat with ticker pads, pointing for his rooming house
his old nordest in his rolltoproyal hessians a deaf fuchser's volponism
hid him close in covert, miraculously ravenfed and buoyed up, in rumer,
reticule, onasum and abomasum, upon (may Allbrewham have his
mead!) the creamclotted sherriness of cinnamon syllabub, Mikkelraved,
Nikkelsaved. Hence hounds hied home. Preservative perseverance in the
reeducation of his intestines was the rebuttal by whilk he sort of git the
big bulge on the whole bunch of spasoakers, dieting against glues and
gravies, in that sometime prestreet protown. Vainly violence, virulence
and vituperation sought wellnigh utterly to attax and abridge, to derail
and depontify, to enrate and inroad, to ongoad and unhume the great
shipping mogul and underlinen overlord.
   But the spoil of hesitants, the spell of hesitency. His atake is it ashe,
tittery taw tatterytail, hasitense humponadimply, heyheyheyhey a
winceywencky.

   Assembly men murmured. Reynard is slow!

   One feared for his days. Did there yawn? 'Twas his stommick.
Eruct? The libber. A gush? From his visuals. Pung? Delivver him,
orelode! He had laid violent hands on himself, it was brought in
Fugger's Newsletter, lain down, all in, fagged out, with equally
melancholy death. For the triduum of Saturnalia his goatservant had
paraded hiz willingsons in the Forum while the jenny infanted the lass
to be greeted raucously (the Yardstated) with houx and epheus and
measured with missiles too from a hundred of manhood and a
wimmering of weibes. Big went the bang: then wildewide was quiet: a
report: silence: last Fama put it under ether. The noase or the loal had
dreven him blem, blem, stun blem. Sparks flew. He had fled again (open
shunshema!) this country of exile, sloughed off, sidleshomed via the
subterranean shored with bedboards, stowed away and ankered in a
dutch bottom tank, the Arsa, hod S.S. Finlandia, and was even now
occupying, under an islamitic newhame in his seventh generation, a
physical body Cornelius Magrath's (badoldkarakter, commonorrong
canbung) in Asia Major, where as Turk of the theater (first house all
flatty: the king, eleven sharps) he had bepiastered the buikdanseuses
from the opulence of his omnibox while as arab at the streetdoor he
bepestered the bumbashaws for the alms of a para's pence. Wires
hummed. Peacefully general astonishment assisted by regrettitude had
put a term till his existence: he saw the family saggarth, resigned, put
off his remainders, was recalled and scrapheaped by the Maker.
Chirpings crossed. An infamous private ailment (vulgovarioveneral) had
claimed endright, closed his vicious circle, snap. Jams jarred. He had
walked towards the middle of an ornamental lilypond when innebriated
up to the point where braced shirts meet knickerbockers, as wangfish
daring the buoyant waters, when rodmen's firstaiding hands had rescued
un from very possibly several feel of demifrish water. Mush spread. On
Umbrella Street where he did drinks from a pumps a kind workman, Mr
Whitlock, gave him a piece of wood. What words of power were made
fas between them, ekenames and auchnomes, acnomina ecnumina?
That, O that, did Hansard tell us, would gar ganz Dub's ear wag in every
pub of all the citta! Batty believes a baton while Hogan hears a hod yet
Heer prefers a punsil shapner and Cope and Bull go cup and ball. And
the Cassidy — Craddock rome and reme round e'er a wiege ne'er a
waage is still immer and immor awagering over it, a cradle with a care
in it or a casket with a kick behind. Toties testies quoties questies. The
war is in words and the wood is the world. Maply me, willowy we,
hickory he and yew yourselves. Howforhim chirrupeth evereachbird!
From golddawn glory to glowworm gleam. We were lowquacks did we
not tacit turn. Elsewere there here no concern of the Guinnesses. But
only the ruining of the rain has heard. Estout pourporteral! Cracklings
cricked. A human pest cycling (pist!) and recycling (past!) about the
sledgy streets, here he was (pust!) again! Morse nuisance noised. He
was loose at large and (Oh baby!) might be anywhere when a disguised
exnun, of huge standbuild and masculine manners in her fairly fat
forties, Carpulenta Gygasta, hattracted hattention by harbitrary conduct
with a homnibus. Aerials buzzed to coastal listeners of an oertax bror
collector's budget, fullybigs, sporran, tie, tuft, tabard and bloody
antichill cloak, its tailor's (Baernfather's) tab reading V.P.H., found nigh
Scaldbrothar's Hole, and divers shivered to think what kaind of beast,
wolves, croppis's or fourpenny friars, had devoured him. C.W. cast
wide. Hvidfinns lyk, drohneth svertgleam, Valkir lockt. On his pinksir's
postern, the boys had it, at Whitweekend had been nailed an inkedup
name and title, inscribed in the national cursives, accelerated,
regressive, filiform, turreted and envenomoloped in piggotry: Move up.
Mumpty! Mike room for Rumpty! By order, Nickekellous Plugg; and
this go, no pentecostal jest about it, how gregarious his race soever or
skilful learned wise cunning knowledgable clear profound his saying
fortitudo fraught or prudentiaproven, were he chief, count, general,
fieldmarshal, prince, king or Myles the Slasher in his person, with a
moliamordhar mansion in the Breffnian empire and a place of
inauguration on the hill of Tullymongan, there had been real murder, of
the rayheallach royghal raxacraxian variety, the MacMahon chaps, it
was, that had done him in. On the fidd of Verdor the rampart
combatants had left him lion with his dexter handcoup wresterected in a
pureede paumee bloody proper. Indeed not a few thick and thin
wellwishers, mostly of the clontarfminded class, (Colonel John Bawle
O'Roarke, fervxamplus), even ventured so far as to loan or beg copies of
D. Blayncy's trilingual triweekly, Scatterbrains' Aftening Posht, so as to
make    certain    sure    onetime    and    be    satisfied   of    their
quasicontribusodalitarian's having become genuinely quite beetly dead
whether by land whither by water. Transocean atalaclamoured him; The
latter! The latter! Shall their hope then be silent or Macfarlane lack of
lamentation? He lay under leagues of it in deep Bartholoman's Deep.

    Achdung! Pozor! Attenshune! Vikeroy Besights Smucky Yung
Pigeschoolies. Tri Paisdinernes Eventyr Med Lochlanner Fathach I
Fiounnisgehaven. Bannalanna Bangs Ballyhooly Out Of Her Buddaree
Of A Bullavogue.

    But, their bright little contemporaries notwithstanding, on the
morrowing morn of the suicidal murder of the unrescued expatriate,
aslike as asnake comes sliduant down that oaktree onto the duke of
beavers, (you may have seen some liquidamber exude exotic from a
balsam poplar at Parteen-a-lax Limestone. Road and cried Abies
Magnifica! not, noble fir?) a quarter of nine, imploring his resipiency,
saw the infallible spike of smoke's jutstiff punctual from the seventh
gable of our Quintus Centimachus' porphyroid buttertower and then
thirsty p.m. with oaths upon his lastingness (En caecos harauspices!
Annos longos patimur!) the lamps of maintenance, beaconsfarafield
innerhalf the zuggurat, all brevetnamed, the wasting wyvern, the tawny
of his mane, the swinglowswaying bluepaw, the outstanding man, the
lolllike lady, being litten for the long (O land, how long!) lifesnight,
with suffusion of fineglass transom and leadlight panes.
    Wherefore let it hardly by any being thinking be said either or
thought that the prisoner of that sacred edifice, were he an Ivor the
Boneless or an Olaf the Hide, was at his best a onestone parable, a rude
breathing on the void of to be, a venter hearing his own bauchspeech in
backwords, or, more strictly, but tristurned initials, the cluekey to a
worldroom beyond the roomwhorld, for scarce one, or pathetically few
of his dode canal sammenlivers cared seriously or for long to doubt with
Kurt Iuld van Dijke (the gravitational pull perceived by certain fixed
residents and the capture of uncertain comets chancedrifting through our
system suggesting an authenticitatem of his aliquitudinis) the canonicity
of his existence as a tesseract. Be still, O quick! Speak him dumb! Hush
ye fronds of Ulma!

    Dispersal women wondered. Was she fast?

    Do tell us all about. As we want to hear allabout. So tellus tellas
allabouter. The why or whether she looked alottylike like ussies and
whether he had his wimdop like themses shut? Notes and queries,
tipbids and answers, the laugh and the shout, the ards and downs. Now
listed to one aneither and liss them down and smoothen out your leaves
of rose. The war is o'er. Wimwim wimwim! Was it Unity Moore or
Estella Swifte or Varina Fay or Quarta Quaedam? Toemaas, mark oom
for yor ounckel! Pigeys, hold op med yer leg! Who, but who (for second
time of asking) was then the scourge of the parts about folkrich
Lucalizod it was wont to be asked, as, in ages behind of the Homo
Capite Erectus, what price Peabody's money, or, to put it bluntly,
whence is the herringtons' white cravat, as, in epochs more cainozoic,
who struck Buckley though nowadays as thentimes every schoolfilly of
sevenscore moons or more who knowher intimologies and every colleen
bawl aroof and every redflammelwaving warwife and widowpeace upon
Dublin Wall for ever knows as yayas is yayas how it was Buckleyself
(we need no blooding paper to tell it neither) who struck and the
Russian generals, da! da!, instead of Buckley who was caddishly struck
by him when be herselves. What fullpried paulpoison in the spy of three
castles or which hatefilled smileyseller? And that such a vetriol of
venom, that queen's head affranchisant, a quiet stinkingplaster zeal
could cover, prepostered or postpaid! The loungelizards of the
pumproom had their nine days' jeer, and pratschkats at their platschpails
too and holenpolendom beside, Szpaszpas Szpissmas, the zhanyzhonies,
when, still believing in her owenglass, when izarres were twinklins, that
the upper reaches of her mouthless face and her impermanent waves
were the better half of her, one nearer him, dearer than all, first warming
creature of his early morn, bondwoman of the man of the house, and
murrmurr of all the mackavicks, she who had given his eye for her bed
and a tooth for a child till one one and one ten and one hundred again, O
me and O ye! cadet and prim, the hungray and anngreen (and if she is
older now than her teeth she has hair that is younger than thighne, my
dear!) she who shuttered him after his fall and waked him widowt
sparing and gave him keen and made him able and held adazillahs to
each arche of his noes, she who will not rast her from her running to
seek him till, with the help of the okeamic, some such time that she shall
have been after hiding the crumbends of his enormousness in the areyou
lookingfor Pearlfar sea, (ur, uri, uria!) stood forth, burnzburn the
gorggony old danworld, in gogor's name, for gagar's sake, dragging the
countryside in her train, finickin here and funickin there, with her
louisequean's brogues and her culunder buzzle and her little bolero boa
and all and two times twenty curlicornies for her headdress, specks on
her eyeux, and spudds on horeilles and a circusfix riding her
Parisienne's cockneze, a vaunt her straddle from Equerry Egon, when
Tinktink in the churchclose clinked Steploajazzyma Sunday, Sola, with
pawns, prelates and pookas pelotting in her piecebag, for Handiman the
Chomp, Esquoro, biskbask, to crush the slander's head.

   Wery weeny wight, plead for Morandmor! Notre Dame de la Ville,
mercy of thy balmheartzyheat! Ogrowdnyk's beyond herbata tay, wort
of the drogist. Bulk him no bulkis. And let him rest, thou wayfarre, and
take no gravespoil from him! Neither mar his mound! The bane of Tut
is on it. Ware! But there's a little lady waiting and her name is A.L.P.
And you'll agree. She must be she. For her holden heirheaps hanging
down her back. He spenth his strenth amok haremscarems. Poppy
Narancy, Giallia, Chlora, Marinka, Anileen, Parme. And ilk a those
dames had her rainbow huemoures yet for whilko her whims but he
coined a cure. Tifftiff today, kissykissy tonay and agelong pine
tomauranna. Then who but Crippled-with-Children would speak up for
Dropping-with-Sweat?

   Sold him her lease of ninenineninetee,
    Tresses undresses so dyedyedaintee,

    Goo, the groot gudgeon, gulped it all.

    Hoo was the C. O. D.?

    Bum!

    At Island Bridge she met her tide.

    Attabom, attabom, attabombomboom!

    The Fin had a flux and his Ebba a ride.

    Attabom, attabom, attabombomboom!

    We're all up to the years in hues and cribies.

    That's what she's done for wee!

    Woe!

    Nomad may roam with Nabuch but let naaman laugh at Jordan! For
we, we have taken our sheet upon her stones where we have hanged our
hearts in her trees; and we list, as she bibs us, by the waters of babalong.
   Chapter 5




   In the name of Annah the Allmaziful, the Everliving, the Bringer of
Plurabilities, haloed be her eve, her singtime sung, her rill be run,
unhemmed as it is uneven!
   Her untitled mamafesta memorialising the Mosthighest has gone by
many names at disjointed times. Thus we hear of, The Augusta
Angustissimost for Old Seabeastius' Salvation, Rockabill Booby in the
Wave Trough, Here's to the Relicts of All Decencies, Anna Stessa's Rise
to Notice, Knickle Down Duddy Gunne and Arishe Sir Cannon, My
Golden One and My Selver Wedding, Amoury Treestam and Icy Siseule,
Saith a Sawyer til a Strame, Ik dik dopedope et tu mihimihi, Buy
Birthplate for a Bite, Which of your Hesterdays Mean Ye to Morra?
Hoebegunne the Hebrewer Hit Waterman the Brayned, Arcs in His
Ceiling Flee Chinx on the Flur, Rebus de Hibernicis, The Crazier
Letters, Groans of a Britoness, Peter Peopler Picked a Plot to Pitch his
Poppolin, An Apology for a Big (some such nonoun as Husband or
husboat or hosebound is probably understood for we have also the
plutherplethoric My Hoonsbood Hansbaad's a Journey to Porthergill
gone and He Never Has the Hour), Ought We To Visit Him? For Ark
see Zoo, Cleopater's Nedlework Ficturing Aldborougham on the Sahara
with the Coombing of the Cammmels and the Parlourmaids of Aegypt,
Cock in the Pot for Father, Placeat Vestrae, A New Cure for an Old
Clap, Where Portentos they'd Grow Gonder how I'd Wish I Woose a
Geese; Gettle Nettie, Thrust him not, When the Myrtles of Venice
Played to Bloccus's Line, To Plenge Me High He Waives Chiltern on
Friends, Oremunds Queue Visits Amen Mart, E'en Tho' I Granny a-be
He would Fain Me Cuddle, Twenty of Chambers, Weighty Ten Beds and
a Wan Ceteroom, I Led the Life, Through the Boxer Coxer Rising in the
House with the Golden Stairs, The Following Fork, He's my
O'Jerusalem and I'm his Po, The Best in the West, By the Stream of
Zemzem under Zigzag Hill, The Man That Made His Mother in the
Marlborry Train, Try Our Taal on a Taub, The Log of Anny to the Base
All, Nopper Tipped a Nappiwenk to his Notylytl Dantsigirls, Prszss Orel
Orel the King of Orlbrdsz, Intimier Minnelisp of an Extorreor
Monolothe, Drink to Him, My Juckey, and Dhoult Bemine Thy
Winnowing Sheet, I Ask You to Believe I was his Mistress, He Can
Explain, From Victrolia Nuancee to Allbart Noahnsy, Da's a Daisy so
Guimea your Handsel too, What Barbaras Done to a Barrel Organ
Before the Rank, Tank and Bonnbtail, Huskvy Admortal, What Jumbo
made to Jalice and what Anisette to Him, Ophelia's Culpreints, Hear
Hubty Hublin, My Old Dansh, I am Older northe Rogues among Whisht
I Slips and He Calls Me his Dual of Ayessha, Suppotes a Ventriliquorst
Merries a Corpse, Lapps for Finns This Funnycoon's Week, How the
Buckling Shut at Rush in January, Look to the Lady, From the Rise of
the Dudge Pupublick to the Fall of the Potstille, Of the Two Ways of
Opening the Mouth, I have not Stopped Water Where It Should Flow
and I Know the Twentynine Names of Attraente, The Tortor of Tory
Island Traits Galasia like his Milchcow, From Abbeygate to Crowalley
Through a Lift in the Lude, Smocks for Their Graces and Me Aunt for
Them Clodshoppers, How to Pull a Good Horuscoup even when Oldsire
is Dead to the World, Inn the Gleam of Waherlow, Fathe He's Sukceded
to My Esperations, Thee Steps Forward, Two Stops Back, My Skin
Appeals to Three Senses and My Curly Lips Demand Columbkisses;
Gage Street on a Crany's Savings, Them Lads made a Trion of
Battlewatschers and They Totties a Doeit of Deers, In My Lord's Bed by
One Whore Went Through It, Mum It is All Over, Cowpoyride by
Twelve Acre Terriss in the Unique Estates of Amessican, He Gave me a
Thou so I serve Him with Thee, Of all the Wide Torsos in all the Wild
Glen, O'Donogh, White Donogh, He's Hue to Me Cry, I'm the Stitch in
his Baskside You'd be Nought Without Mom, To Keep the Huskies off
the Hustings and Picture Pets from Lifting Shops, Norsker Torsker Find
the Poddle, He Perssed Me Here with the Ardour of a Tonnoburkes, A
Boob Was Weeping This Mower was Reaping, O'Loughlin, Up from the
Pit of my Stomach I Swish you the White of the Mourning, Inglo-Andeen
Medoleys from Tommany Moohr, The Great Polynesional Entertrainer
Exhibits Ballantine Brautchers with the Link of Natures, The Mimic of
Meg Neg end the Mackeys, Entered as the Lastest Pigtarial and My
Pooridiocal at Stitchioner's Hall, Siegfield Follies and or a
Gentlehomme's Faut Pas, See the First Book of Jealesies Pessim, The
Suspended Sentence, A Pretty Brick Story for Childsize Heroes, As Lo
Our Sleep, I Knew I'd Got it in Me so Thit settles That, Thonderbalt
Captain Smeth and La Belle Sauvage Pocahonteuse, Way for Wet Week
Welikin's Douchka Marianne, The Last of the Fingallians, It Was Me
Egged Him on to the Stork Exchange and Lent my Dutiful Face to His
Customs, Chee Chee Cheels on their China Miction, Pickedmeup
Peters, Lumptytumtumpty had a Big Fall, Pimpimp Pimpimp, Measly
Ventures of Two Lice and the Fall of Fruit, The Fokes Family Interior,
If my Spreadeagles Wasn't so Tight I'd Loosen my Cursits on that Bunch
of Maggiestraps, Allolosha Popofetts and Howke Cotchme Eye, Seen
Aples and Thin Dyed, i big U to Beleaves from Love and Mother, Fine's
Fault was no Felon, Exat Delvin Renter Life, The Flash that Flies from
Vuggy's Eyes has Set Me Hair On Fire, His is the House that Malt
Made, Divine Views from Back to the Front, Abe to Sare Stood Icyk
Neuter till Brahm Taulked Him Common Sex, A Nibble at Eve Will That
Bowal Relieve, Allfor Guineas, Sounds and Compliments Libidous,
Seven Wives Awake Aweek, Airy Ann and Berber Blut, Amy Licks Porter
While Huffy Chops Eads, Abbrace of Umbellas or a Tripple of Caines,
Buttbutterbust, From the Manorlord Hoved to the Misses O'Mollies and
from the Dames to their Sames, Manyfestoons for the Colleagues on the
Green, An Outstanding Back and an Excellent Halfcentre if Called on,
As Tree is Quick and Stone is White So is My Washing Done by Night,
First and Last Only True Account all about the Honorary Mirsu
Earwicker, L.S.D., and the Snake (Nuggets!) by a Woman of the World
who only can Tell Naked Truths about a Dear Man and all his
Conspirators how they all Tried to Fall him Putting it all around
Lucalizod about Privates Earwicker and a Pair of Sloppy Sluts plainly
Showing all the Unmentionability falsely Accusing about the Raincoats.

   The proteiform graph itself is a polyhedron of scripture. There was a
time when naif alphabetters would have written it down the tracing of a
purely deliquescent recidivist, possibly ambidextrous, snubnosed
probably and presenting a strangely profound rainbowl in his (or her)
occiput. To the hardily curiosing entomophilust then it has shown a very
sexmosaic of nymphosis in which the eternal chimerahunter Oriolopos,
now frond of sugars, then lief of saults, the sensory crowd in his belly
coupled with an eye for the goods trooth bewilderblissed by their night
effluvia with guns like drums and fondlers like forceps persequestellates
his vanessas from flore to flore. Somehows this sounds like the purest
kidooleyoon wherein our madernacerution of lour lore is rich. All's so
herou from us him in a kitchernott darkness, by hasard and worn rolls
arered, we must grope on till Zerogh hour like pou owl giaours as we
are would we salve aught of moments for our aysore today. Amousin
though not but. Closer inspection of the bordereau would reveal a
multiplicity of personalities inflicted on the documents or document and
some prevision of virtual crime or crimes might be made by anyone
unwary enough before any suitable occasion for it or them had so far
managed to happen along. In fact, under the closed eyes of the
inspectors the traits featuring the chiaroscuro coalesce, their
contrarieties eliminated, in one stable somebody similarly as by the
providential warring of heartshaker with housebreaker and of
dramdrinker against freethinker our social something bowls along
bumpily, experiencing a jolting series of prearranged disappointments,
down the long lane of (it's as semper as oxhousehumper!) generations,
more generations and still more generations.

    Say, baroun lousadoor, who in hallhagal wrote the durn thing
anyhow? Erect, beseated, mountback, against a partywall, below
freezigrade, by the use of quill or style, with turbid or pellucid mind,
accompanied or the reverse by mastication, interrupted by visit of seer
to scribe or of scribe to site, atwixt two showers or atosst of a trike,
rained upon or blown around, by a rightdown regular racer from the soil
or by a too pained whittlewit laden with the loot of learning?

    Now, patience; and remember patience is the great thing, and above
all things else we must avoid anything like being or becoming out of
patience. A good plan used by worried business folk who may not have
had many momentums to master Kung's doctrine of the meang or the
propriety codestruces of Carprimustimus is just to think of all the
sinking fund of patience possessed in their conjoint names by both
brothers Bruce with whom are incorporated their Scotch spider and
Elberfeld's Calculating Horses. If after years upon years of delving in
ditches dark one tubthumper more than others, Kinihoun or Kahanan,
giardarner or mear measenmanonger, has got up for the darnall same
purpose of reassuring us with all the barbar of the Carrageehouse that
our great ascendant was properly speaking three syllables less than his
own surname (yes, yes, less!), that the ear of Fionn Earwicker aforetime
was the trademark of a broadcaster with wicker local jargon for an ace's
patent (Hear! Calls! Everywhair!) then as to this radiooscillating
epiepistle to which, cotton, silk or samite, kohol, gall or brickdust, we
must ceaselessly return, whereabouts exactly at present in Siam, Hell or
Tophet under that glorisol which plays touraloup with us in this Aludin's
Cove of our cagacity is that bright soandsuch to slip us the dinkum oil?

    Naysayers we know. To conclude purely negatively from the
positive absence of political odia and monetary requests that its page
cannot ever have been a penproduct of a man or woman of that period
or those parts is only one more unlookedfor conclusion leaped at, being
tantamount to inferring from the nonpresence of inverted commas
(sometimes called quotation marks) on any page that its author was
always constitutionally incapable of misappropriating the spoken words
of others.

    Luckily there is another cant to the questy. Has any fellow, of the
dime a dozen type, it might with some profit some dull evening quietly
be hinted — has any usual sort of ornery josser, flatchested fortyish,
faintly flatulent and given to ratiocination by syncopation in the
elucidation   of   complications,     of   his   greatest   Fung     Yang
dynasdescendanced, only another the son of, in fact, ever looked
sufficiently longly at a quite everydaylooking stamped addressed
envelope? Admittedly it is an outer husk: its face, in all its featureful
perfection of imperfection, is its fortune: it exhibits only the civil or
military clothing of whatever passionpallid nudity or plaguepurple
nakedness may happen to tuck itself under its flap. Yet to concentrate
solely on the literal sense or even the psychological content of any
document to the sore neglect of the enveloping facts themselves
circumstantiating it is just as hurtful to sound sense (and let it be added
to the truest taste) as were some fellow in the act of perhaps getting an
intro from another fellow turning out to be a friend in need of his, say,
to a lady of the latter's acquaintance, engaged in performing the
elaborative antecistral ceremony of upstheres, straightaway to run off
and vision her plump and plain in her natural altogether, preferring to
close his blinkhard's eyes to the ethiquethical fact that she was, after all,
wearing for the space of the time being some definite articles of
evolutionary clothing, inharmonious creations, a captious critic might
describe them as, or not strictly necessary or a trifle irritating here and
there, but for all that suddenly full of local colour and personal perfume
and suggestive, too, of so very much more and capable of being
stretched, filled out, if need or wish were, of having their surprisingly
like coincidental parts separated don't they now, for better survey by the
deft hand of an expert, don't you know? Who in his heart doubts either
that the facts of feminine clothiering are there all the time or that the
feminine fiction, stranger than the facts, is there also at the same time,
only a little to the rere? Or that one may be separated from the other? Or
that both may then be contemplated simultaneously? Or that each may
be taken up and considered in turn apart from the other?

    Here let a few artifacts fend in their own favour. The river felt she
wanted salt. That was just where Brien came in. The country asked for
bearspaw for dindin! And boundin aboundin it got it surly. We who live
under heaven, we of the clovery kingdom, we middlesins people have
often watched the sky overreaching the land. We suddenly have. Our
isle is Sainge. The place. That stern chuckler Mayhappy Mayhapnot,
once said to repeation in that lutran conservatory way of his that
Isitachapel-Asitalukin was the one place, ult aut nult, in this madh vaal
of tares (whose verdhure's yellowed therever Phaiton parks his car while
its tamelised tay is the drame of Drainophilias) where the possible was
the improbable and the improbable the inevitable. If the proverbial
bishop of our holy and undivided with this me ken or no me ken Zot is
the Quiztune havvermashed had his twoe nails on the head we are in for
a sequentiality of improbable possibles though possibly nobody after
having grubbed up a lock of cwold cworn aboove his subject probably
in Harrystotalies or the vivle will go out of his way to applaud him on
the onboiassed back of his remark for utterly impossible as are all these
events they are probably as like those which may have taken place as
any others which never took person at all are ever likely to be. Ahahn!

    About that original hen. Midwinter (fruur or kuur?) was in the
offing and Premver a promise of a pril when, as kischabrigies sang life's
old sahatsong, an iceclad shiverer, merest of bantlings observed a cold
fowl behaviourising strangely on that fatal midden or chip factory or
comicalbottomed copsjute (dump for short) afterwards changed into the
orangery when in the course of deeper demolition unexpectedly one
bushman's holiday its limon threw up a few spontaneous fragments of
orangepeel, the last remains of an outdoor meal by some unknown
sunseeker or placehider illico way back in his mistridden past. What
child of a strandlooper but keepy little Kevin in the despondful
surrounding of such sneezing cold would ever have trouved up on a
strate that was called strete a motive for future saintity by euchring the
finding of the Ardagh chalice by another heily innocent and
beachwalker whilst trying with pious clamour to wheedle Tipperaw raw
raw reeraw puteters out of Now Sealand in spignt of the patchpurple of
the massacre, a dual a duel to die to day, goddam and biggod, sticks and
stanks, of most of the Jacobiters.

    The bird in the case was Belinda of the Dorans, a more than
quinquegintarian (Terziis prize with Serni medal, Cheepalizzy's Hane
Exposition) and what she was scratching at the hour of klokking twelve
looked for all this zogzag world like a goodishsized sheet of letterpaper
originating by transhipt from Boston (Mass.) of the last of the first to
Dear whom it proceded to mention Maggy well & allathome's health
well only the hate turned the mild on the van Houtens and the general's
elections with a lovely face of some born gentleman with a beautiful
present of wedding cakes for dear thankyou Chriesty and with grand
funferall of poor Father Michael don't forget unto life's & Muggy well
how are you Maggy & hopes soon to hear well & must now close it
with fondest to the twoinns with four crosskisses for holy paul holey
comer holipoli whollyisland pee ess from (locust may eat all but this
sign shall they never) affectionate largelooking tache of tch. The stain,
and that a teastain (the overcautelousness of the masterbilker here, as
usual, signing the page away), marked it off on the spout of the moment
as a genuine relique of ancient Irish pleasant pottery of that lydialike
languishing class known as a hurry-me-o'er-the-hazy.

    Why then how?

    Well, almost any photoist worth his chemicots will tip anyone
asking him the teaser that if a negative of a horse happens to melt
enough while drying, well, what you do get is, well, a positively
grotesquely distorted macromass of all sorts of horsehappy values and
masses of meltwhile horse. Tip. Well, this freely is what must have
occurred to our missive (there's a sod of a turb for you! please wisp off
the grass!) unfilthed from the boucher by the sagacity of a lookmelittle
likemelong hen. Heated residence in the heart of the orangeflavoured
mudmound had partly obliterated the negative to start with, causing
some features palpably nearer your pecker to be swollen up most
grossly while the farther back we manage to wiggle the more we need
the loan of a lens to see as much as the hen saw. Tip.

    You is feeling like you was lost in the bush, boy? You says: It is a
puling sample jungle of woods. You most shouts out: Bethicket me for a
stump of a beech if I have the poultriest notions what the farest he all
means. Gee up, girly! The quad gospellers may own the targum but any
of the Zingari shoolerim may pick a peck of kindlings yet from the sack
of auld hensyne.

    Lead, kindly fowl! They always did: ask the ages. What bird has
done yesterday man may do next year, be it fly, be it moult, be it hatch,
be it agreement in the nest. For her socioscientific sense is sound as a
bell, sir, her volucrine automutativeness right on normalcy: she knows,
she just feels she was kind of born to lay and love eggs (trust her to
propagate the species and hoosh her fluffballs safe through din and
danger!); lastly but mostly, in her genesic field it is all game and no
gammon; she is ladylike in everything she does and plays the
gentleman's part every time. Let us auspice it! Yes, before all this has
time to end the golden age must return with its vengeance. Man will
become dirigible, Ague will be rejuvenated, woman with her ridiculous
white burden will reach by one step sublime incubation, the
manewanting human lioness with her dishorned discipular manram will
lie down together publicly flank upon fleece. No, assuredly, they are not
justified, those gloompourers who grouse that letters have never been
quite their old selves again since that weird weekday in bleak Janiveer
(yet how palmy date in a waste's oasis!) when to the shock of both,
Biddy Doran looked at literature.

    And. She may be a mere marcella, this midget madgetcy, Misthress
of Arths. But. It is not a hear or say of some anomorous letter, signed
Toga Girilis, (teasy dear). We have a cop of her fist right against our
nosibos. We note the paper with her jotty young watermark: Notre
Dame du Bon Marché. And she has a heart of Arin! What lumililts as
she fols with her fallimineers and her nadianods. As a strow will shaw
she does the wind blague, recting to show the rudess of a robur curling
and shewing the fansaties of a frizette. But how many of her readers
realise that she is not out to dizzledazzle with a graith uncouthrement of
postmantuam glasseries from the lapins and the grigs. Nuttings on her
wilelife! Grabar gooden grandy for old almeanium adamologists like
Dariaumaurius and Zovotrimaserovmeravmerouvian; (dmzn!); she feel
plain plate one flat fact thing and if, lastways firdstwise, a man alones
sine anyon anyons utharas has no rates to done a kik at with anyon
anakars about tutus milking fores and the rereres on the outerrand asikin
the             tutus             to             be              forrarder.
Thingcrooklyexineverypasturesixdixlikencehimaroundhersthemaggerby
kinkinkankanwithdownmindlookingated.         Mesdaims,     Marmouselles,
Mescerfs! Silvapais! All schwants (schwrites) ischt tell the cock's
trootabout him. Kapak kapuk. No minzies matter. He had to see life
foully the plak and the smut, (schwrites). There were three men in him
(schwrites). Dancings (schwrites) was his only ttoo feebles. With apple
harlottes. And a little mollvogels. Spissially (schwrites) when they
peaches. Honeys wore camelia paints. Yours very truthful. Add dapple
inn. Yet is it but an old story, the tale of a Treestone with one Ysold, of
a Mons held by tentpegs and his pal whatholoosed on the run, what
Cadman could but Badman wouldn't, any Genoaman against any Venis,
and why Kate takes charge of the waxworks.

      Let us now, weather, health, dangers, public orders and other
circumstances permitting, of perfectly convenient, if you police, after
you, policepolice, pardoning mein, ich beam so fresch, bey? drop this
jiggerypokery and talk straight turkey meet to mate, for while the ear, be
we mikealls or nicholists, may sometimes be inclined to believe others
the eye, whether browned or nolensed, find it devilish hard now and
again even to believe itself. Habes aures et num videbis? Habes oculos
ac mannepalpabuat? Tip! Drawing nearer to take our slant at it (since
after all it has met with misfortune while all underground), let us see all
there may remain to be seen.
    I am a worker, a tombstone mason, anxious to pleace averyburies
and jully glad when Christmas comes his once ayear. You are a
poorjoist, unctuous to polise nopebobbies and tunnibelly soully when
'tis thime took o'er home, gin. We cannot say aye to aye. We cannot
smile noes from noes. Still. One cannot help noticing that rather more
than half of the lines run north-south in the Nemzes and Bukarahast
directions while the others go west-east in search from Maliziies with
Bulgarad for, tiny tot though it looks when schtschupnistling alongside
other incunabula, it has its cardinal points for all that. These ruled
barriers along which the traced words, run, march, halt, walk, stumble at
doubtful points, stumble up again in comparative safety seem to have
been drawn first of all in a pretty checker with lampblack and
blackthorn. Such crossing is antechristian of course, but the use of the
homeborn shillelagh as an aid to calligraphy shows a distinct advance
from savagery to barbarism. It is seriously believed by some that the
intention may have been geodetic, or, in the view of the cannier,
domestic economical. But by writing thithaways end to end and turning,
turning and end to end hithaways writing and with lines of litters
slittering up and louds of latters slettering down, the old semetomyplace
and jupetbackagain from tham Let Rise till Hum Lit. Sleep, where in the
waste is the wisdom?

    Another point, in addition to the original sand, pounce powder,
drunkard paper or soft rag used (any vet or inhanger in ous sot's social
can see the seen for seemself, a wee ftofty od room, the cheery
spluttered on the one karrig, a darka disheen of voos from Dalbania, any
gotsquantity of racky, a portogal and some buk setting out on the sofer,
you remember the sort of softball sucker motru used to tell us when we
were all biribiyas or nippies and messas) it has acquired accretions of
terricious matter whilst loitering in the past. The teatimestained terminal
(say not the tag, mummer, or our show's a failure!) is a cosy little brown
study all to oneself and, whether it be thumbprint, mademark or just a
poor trait of the artless, its importance in establishing the identities in
the writer complexus (for if the hand was one, the minds of active and
agitated were more than so) will be best appreciated by never forgetting
that both before and after the battle of the Boyne it was a habit not to
sign letters always. Tip. And it is surely a lesser ignorance to write a
word with every consonant too few than to add all too many. The end?
Say it with missiles then and thus arabesque the page. You have your
cup of scalding Souchong, your taper's waxen drop, your cat's paw, the
clove or coffinnail you chewed or champed as you worded it, your lark
in clear air. So why, pray, sign anything as long as every word, letter,
penstroke, paperspace is a perfect signature of its own? A true friend is
known much more easily, and better into the bargain, by his personal
touch, habits of full or undress, movements, response to appeals for
charity than by his footwear, say. And, speaking anent Tiberias and
other incestuish salacities among gerontophils, a word of warning about
the tenderloined passion hinted at. Some softnosed peruser might
mayhem take it up erogenously as the usual case of spoons, prostituta in
herba plus dinky pinks deliberatively summersaulting off her bisexycle,
at the main entrance of curate's perpetual soutane suit with her one to
see and awoh! who picks her up as gingerly as any balmbearer would to
feel whereupon the virgin was most hurt and nicely asking: whyre have
you been so grace a mauling and where were you chaste me child? Be
who, farther potential? and so wider but we grisly old Sykos who have
done our unsmiling bit on 'alices, when they were yung and easily
freudened, in the penumbra of the procuring room and what oracular
comepression we have had apply to them! could (did we care to sell our
feebought silence in camera) tell our very moistnostrilled one that
father in such virgated contexts is not always that undemonstrative
relative (often held up to our contumacy) who settles our hashbill for us
and what an innocent allabroad's adverb such as Michaelly looks like
can be suggestive of under the pudendascope and, finally, what a
neurasthene nympholept, endocrine-pineal typus, of inverted parentage
with a prepossessing drauma present in her past and a priapic urge for
congress with agnates before cognates fundamentally is feeling for
under her lubricitous meiosis when she refers with liking to some feeler
she fancie's face. And Mm. We could. Yet what need to say? 'Tis as
human a little story as paper could well carry, in affect, as singsing so
Salaman susuing to swittvitles while as unbluffingly blurtubruskblunt as
an Esra, the cat, the cat's meeter, the meeter's cat's wife, the meeter's
cat's wife's half better, the meeter's cat's wife's half better's meeter, and
so back to our horses, for we also know, what we have perused from the
pages of I Was A Gemral, that Showting up of Bulsklivism by
'Schottenboum', that Father Michael about this red time of the white
terror equals the old regime and Margaret is the social revolution while
cakes mean the party funds and dear thank you signifies national
gratitude. In fine, we have heard, as it happened, of Spartacus
intercellular. We are not corknered yet, dead hand! We can recall, with
voluntears, the froggy jew, and sweeter far 'twere now westhinks in
Dumbil's fair city ere one more year is o'er. We tourned our coasts to the
good gay tunes. When from down swords the sea merged the oldowth
guns and answer made the bold O' Dwyer. But. Est modest in verbos.
Let a prostitute be whoso stands before a door and winks or parks
herself in the fornix near a makeussin wall (sinsin! sinsin!) and the
curate one who brings strong waters (gingin! gingin!), but also, and
dinna forget, that there is many asleeps between someathome's first and
moreinausland's last and that the beautiful presence of waiting kates will
until life's (!) be more than enough to make any milkmike in the
language of sweet tarts punch hell's hate into his twin nicky and that
Maggy's tea, or your majesty, if heard as a boost from a born gentleman
is (?). For if the lingo gasped between kicksheets, however basically
English, were to be preached from the mouths of wickerchurchwardens
and   metaphysicians    in   the   row   and   advokaatoes,    allvoyous,
demivoyelles, languoaths, lesbiels, dentelles, gutterhowls and furtz,
where would their practice be or where the human race itself were the
Pythagorean sesquipedalia of the panepistemion, however apically
Volapucky, grunted and gromwelled, ichabod, habakuk, opanoff,
uggamyg, hapaxle, gomenon, ppppfff, over country stiles, behind slated
dwellinghouses, down blind lanes, or, when all fruit fails, under some
sacking left on a coarse cart?

    So hath been, love: tis tis: and will be: till wears and tears and ages.
Thief us the night, steal we the air, shawl thiner liefest, mine! Here,
Ohere, insult the fair! Traitor, bad hearer, brave! The lightning look, the
birding cry, awe from the grave, everflowing on the times.
Feueragusaria iordenwater; now godsun shine on menday's daughter; a
good clap, a fore marriage, a bad wake, tell hell's well; such is
manowife's lot of lose and win again, like he's gruen quhiskers on who's
chin again, she plucketed them out but they grown in again. So what are
you going to do about it? O dear!

    If juness she saved! Ah ho! And if yulone he pouved! The olold
stoliolum! From quiqui quinet to michemiche chelet and a jambebatiste
to a brulobrulo! It is told in sounds in utter that, in signs so adds to, in
universal, in polygluttural, in each auxiliary neutral idiom, sordomutics,
florilingua, sheltafocal, flayflutter, a con's cubane, a pro's tutute,
strassarab, ereperse and anythongue athall. Since nozzy Nanette tripped
palmyways with Highho Harry there's a spurtfire turf a'kind o'kindling
when oft as the souffsouff blows her peaties up and a claypot wet for
thee, my Sitys, and talkatalka tell Tibbs has eve: and whathough
(revilous life proving aye the death of ronaldses when winpower wine
has bucked the kick on poor won man) billiousness has been
billiousness during milliums of millenions and our mixed racings have
been giving two hoots or three jeers for the grape, vine and brew and
Pieter's in Nieuw Amsteldam and Paoli's where the poules go and rum
smelt his end for him and he dined off sooth american (it would give
one the frier even were one a normal Kettlelicker) this oldworld epistola
of their weatherings and their marryings and their buryings and their
natural selections has combled tumbled down to us fersch and made-at-
all-hours like an ould cup on tay. As I was hottin me souser. Haha! And
as you was caldin your dutchy hovel. Hoho! She tole the tail or her toon.
Huhu!

    Now, kapnimancy and infusionism may both fit as tight as two
trivets but while we in our wee free state, holding to that prestatute in
our charter, may have our irremovable doubts as to the whole sense of
the lot, the interpretation of any phrase in the whole, the meaning of
every word of a phrase so far deciphered out of it, however unfettered
our Irish daily independence, we must vaunt no idle dubiosity as to its
genuine authorship and holusbolus authoritativeness. And let us
bringtheecease to beakerings on that clink, olmond bottler! On the face
of it, to volt back to our desultory horses, and for your roughshod mind,
bafflelost bull, the affair is a thing once for all done and there you are
somewhere and finished in a certain time, be it a day or a year or even
supposing, it should eventually turn out to be a serial number of
goodness gracious alone knows how many days or years. Anyhow,
somehow and somewhere, before the bookflood or after her ebb,
somebody mentioned by name in his telephone directory, Coccolanius
or Gallotaurus, wrote it, wrote it all, wrote it all down, and there you
are, full stop. O, undoubtedly yes, and very potably so, but one who
deeper thinks will always bear in the baccbuccus of his mind that this
downright there you are and there it is is only all in his eye. Why?

    Because, Soferim Bebel, if it goes to that, (and dormerwindow
gossip will cry it from the housetops no surelier than the writing on the
wall will hue it to the mod of men that mote in the main street) every
person, place and thing in the chaosmos of Alle anyway connected with
the gobblydumped turkery was moving and changing every part of the
time: the travelling inkhorn (possibly pot), the hare and turtle pen and
paper, the continually more and less intermisunderstanding minds of the
anticollaborators, the as time went on as it will variously inflected,
differently pronounced, otherwise spelled, changeably meaning vocable
scriptsigns. No, so holp me Petault, it is not a miseffectual
whyacinthinous riot of blots and blurs and bars and balls and hoops and
wriggles and juxtaposed jottings linked by spurts of speed: it only looks
as like it as damn it; and, sure, we ought really to rest thankful that at
this deleteful hour of dungflies dawning we have even a written on with
dried ink scrap of paper at all to show for ourselves, tare it or leaf it,
(and we are lufted to ourselves as the soulfisher when he led the cat out
of the bout) after all that we lost and plundered of it even to the hidmost
coignings of the earth and all it has gone through and by all means, after
a good ground kiss to Terracussa and for wars luck our lefftoff's flung
over our home homoplate, cling to it as with drowning hands, hoping
against hope all the while that, by the light of philophosy, (and may she
never folsage us!) things will begin to clear up a bit one way or another
within the next quarrel of an hour and be hanged to them as ten to one
they will too, please the pigs, as they ought to categorically, as, stricly
between ourselves, there is a limit to all things so this will never do.

    For, with that farmfrow's foul flair for that flayfell foxfetor, (the
calamite's columitas calling for calamitous calamitance) who that
scrutinising marvels at those indignant whiplooplashes; those so
prudently bolted or blocked rounds; the touching reminiscence of an
incompletet trail or dropped final; a round thousand whirligig glorioles,
prefaced by (alas!) now illegible airy plumeflights, all tiberiously
ambiembellishing the initials majuscule of Earwicker: the meant to be
baffling chrismon trilithon sign       , finally called after some his hes
hecitency Hec, which, moved contrawatchwise, represents his title in
sigla as the smaller   , fontly called following a certain change of state
of grace of nature alp or delta, when single, stands for or tautologically
stands beside the consort: (though for that matter, since we have heard
from Cathay cyrcles how the hen is not mirely a tick or two after the
first fifth fourth of the second eighth twelfth — siangchang hongkong
sansheneul — but yirely the other and thirtieth of the ninth from the
twentieth, our own vulgar 432 and 1132 irrespectively, why not take the
former for a village inn, the latter for an upsidown bridge, a
multiplication marking for crossroads ahead, which you like pothook for
the family gibbet, their old fourwheedler for the bucker's field, a tea
anyway for a tryst someday, and his onesidemissing for an allblind alley
leading to an Irish plot in the Champ de Mors, not?) the steady
monologuy of the interiors; the pardonable confusion for which some
blame the cudgel and more blame the soot but unthanks to which the
pees with their caps awry are quite as often as not taken for kews with
their tails in their or are quite as often as not taken for pews with their
tails in their mouths, thence your pristopher polombos, hence our Kat
Kresbyterians; the curt witty wotty dashes never quite just right at the
trim trite truth letter; the sudden spluttered petulance of some
capItalIsed mIddle; a word as cunningly hidden in its maze of confused
drapery as a fieldmouse in a nest of coloured ribbons: that absurdly
bullsfooted bee declaring with an even plainer dummpshow than does
the mute commoner with us how hard a thing it is to mpe mporn a
gentlerman: and look at this prepronominal funferal, engraved and
retouched and edgewiped and puddenpadded, very like a whale's egg
farced with pemmican, as were it sentenced to be nuzzled over a full
trillion times for ever and a night till his noddle sink or swim by that
ideal reader suffering from an ideal insomnia: all those red raddled obeli
cayennepeppercast over the text, calling unnecessary attention to errors,
omissions, repetitions and misalignments: that (probably local or
personal) variant maggers for the more generally accepted majesty
which   is   but   a   trifle   and   yet   may   quietly   amuse:   those
superciliouslooking crisscrossed Greek ees awkwardlike perched there
and here out of date like sick owls hawked back to Athens: and the
geegees too, jesuistically formed at first but afterwards genuflected
aggrily toewards the occident: the Ostrogothic kakography affected for
certain phrases of Etruscan stabletalk and, in short, the learning betrayed
at almost every line's end: the headstrength (at least eleven men of
thirtytwo palfrycraft) revealed by a constant labour to make a ghimel
pass through the eye of an iota: this, for instance, utterly unexpected
sinistrogyric return to one peculiar sore point in the past; those throne
open doubleyous (of an early muddy terranean origin whether man
chooses to damn them agglutinatively loo — too — blue — face —
ache or illvoodawpeehole or, kants koorts, topplefouls) seated with such
floprightdown determination and reminding uus ineluctably of nature at
her naturalest while that fretful fidget eff, the hornful digamma of your
bornabarbar, rarely heard now save when falling from the unfashionable
lipsus of some hetarosexual (used always in two boldfaced print types
— one of them as wrongheaded as his Claudian brother, is it worth
while interrupting to say? —

    throughout the papyrus as the revise mark) stalks all over the page,
broods     sensationseeking an idea, amid the verbiage, gaunt, stands
dejectedly in the diapered window margin, with its basque of bayleaves
all aflutter about its forksfrogs, paces with a frown, jerking to and fro,
flinging phrases here, there, or returns inhibited, with some half-halted
suggestion,   , dragging its shoestring; the curious warning sign before
our protoparent's ipsissima verba (a very pure nondescript, by the way,
sometimes a palmtailed otter, more often the arbutus fruitflowerleaf of
the cainapple) which paleographers call a leak in the thatch or the
aranman ingperwhis through the hole of his hat, indicating that the
words which follow may be taken in any order desired, hole of Aran
man the hat through the whispering his ho (here keen again and begin
again to make soundsense and sensesound kin again); those
haughtypitched disdotted aiches easily of the rariest inasdroll as most of
the jaywalking eyes we do plough into halve, unconnected, principial,
medial or final, always jims in the jam, sahib, as pipless as
threadworms: the innocent exhibitionism of those frank yet capricious
underlinings: that strange exotic serpentine, since so properly banished
from our scripture, about as freakwing a wetterhand now as to see a
rightheaded ladywhite don a corkhorse, which, in its invincible
insolence ever longer more and of more morosity, seems to uncoil
spirally and swell lacertinelazily before our eyes under pressure of the
writer's hand; the ungainly musicianlessness so painted in sculpting
selfsounder ah ha as blackartful as a podatus and dumbfounder oh ho
oaproariose as ten canons in skelterfugue: the studious omission of year
number and era name from the date, the one and only time when our
copyist seems at least to have grasped the beauty of restraint; the
lubricitous conjugation of the last with the first: the gipsy mating of a
grand stylish gravedigging with secondbest buns (an interpolation: these
munchables occur only in the Bootherbrowth family of MSS., Bb —
Cod IV, Pap II, Brek XI, Lun III, Dinn XVII, Sup XXX, Fullup M D C
X C: the scholiast has hungrily misheard a deadman's toller as a
muffinbell): the four shortened ampersands under which we can glypse
at and feel for ourselves across all those rushyears the warm soft short
pants of the quickscribbler: the vocative lapse from which it begins and
the accusative hole in which it ends itself; the aphasia of that heroic
agony of recalling a once loved number leading slip by slipper to a
general amnesia of misnomering one's own: next those ars, rrrr! those
ars all bellical, the highpriest's hieroglyph of kettletom and oddsbones,
wrasted redhandedly from our hallowed rubric prayer for truce with
booty, O'Remus pro Romulo, and rudely from the fane's pinnacle tossed
down by porter to within an aim's ace of their quatrain of rubyjets
among Those Who arse without the Temple nor since Roe's Distillery
burn'd have quaff'd Night's firefill'd Cup But jig jog jug as Day the
Dicebox Throws, whang, loyal six I lead, out wi'yer heart's bluid, blast
ye, and there she's for you, sir, whang her, the fine ooman, rouge to her
lobster locks, the rossy, whang, God and O'Mara has it with his ruddy
old Villain Rufus, wait, whang, God and you're another he hasn't for
there's my spoil five of spuds's trumps, whang, whack on his pigsking's
Kisser for him, K.M. O'Mara where are you?; then (coming over to the
left aisle corner down) the cruciform postscript from which three basia
or shorter and smaller oscula have been overcarefully scraped away,
plainly inspiring the tenebrous Tunc page of the Book of Kells (and then
it need not be lost sight of that there are exactly three squads of
candidates for the crucian rose awaiting their turn in the marginal panels
of Columkiller, chugged in their three ballotboxes, then set apart for
such hanging committees, where two was enough for anyone, starting
with old Matthew himself, as he with great distinction said then just as
since then people speaking have fallen into the custom, when speaking
to a person, of saying two is company when the third person is the
person darkly spoken of, and then that last labiolingual basium might be
read as a suavium if whoever the embracer then was wrote with a tongue
in his (or perhaps her) cheek as the case may have been then) and the
fatal droopadwindle slope of the blamed scrawl, a sure sign of
imperfectible moral blindness; the toomuchness, the fartoomanyness of
all those fourlegged ems: and why spell dear god with a big thick dhee
(why, O why, O why?): the cut and dry aks and wise form of the
semifinal; and, eighteenthly or twentyfourthly, but at least, thank
Maurice, lastly when all is zed and done, the penelopean patience of its
last paraphe, a colophon of no fewer than seven hundred and thirtytwo
strokes tailed by a leaping lasso —

    who thus at all this marvelling but will press on hotly to see the
vaulting   feminine   libido   of     those   interbranching   ogham   sex
upandinsweeps sternly controlled and easily repersuaded by the uniform
matteroffactness of a meandering male fist?

    Duff-Muggli, who now may be quoted by very kind arrangement
(his dectroscophonious photosensition under suprasonic light control
may be logged for by our none too distant futures as soon astone values
can be turned out from Chromophilomos, Limited at a millicentime the
microamp), first called this kind of paddygoeasy partnership the
ulykkhean or tetrachiric or quadrumane or ducks and drakes or debts
and dishes perplex (v. Some Forestallings over that Studium of
Sexophonologistic Schizophrenesis, vol. xxiv, pp. 2-555) after the
wellinformed observation, made miles apart from the Master by Tung-
Toyd (cf. Later Frustrations amengst the Neomugglian Teachings abaft
the Semiunconscience, passim) that in the case of the littleknown
periplic bestteller popularly associated with the names of the wretched
mariner (trianforan deffwedoff our plumsucked pattern shapekeeper) a
Punic admiralty report, From MacPerson's Oshean Round By the Tides
of Jason's Cruise, had been cleverly capsized and saucily republished as
a dodecanesian baedeker of the everytale-a-treat-in-itself variety which
could hope satisfactorily to tickle me gander as game as your goose.

    The unmistaken identity of the persons in the Tiberiast duplex came
to light in the most devious of ways. The original document was in what
is known as Hanno O'Nonhanno's unbrookable script, that is to say, it
showed no signs of punctuation of any sort. Yet on holding the verso
against a lit rush this new book of Morses responded most remarkably
to the silent query of our world's oldest light and its recto let out the
piquant fact that it was but pierced butnot punctured (in the university
sense of the term) by numerous stabs and foliated gashes made by a
pronged instrument. These paper wounds, four in type, were gradually
and correctly understood to mean stop, please stop, do please stop, and
O do please stop respectively, and following up their one true clue, the
circumflexuous wall of a singleminded men's asylum, accentuated by bi
tso fb rok engl a ssan dspl itch ina, — Yard inquiries pointed out
that they ad bîn "provoked" ay   fork, of à grave Brofèsor; àth é's Brèak
— fast — table; ; acùtely profèššionally piquéd, to = introdùce a notion
of time [ùpon à plane (?) sù ' ' fàç'e'] by pùnct! ingh oles (sic) in
iSpace?! Deeply religious by nature and position, and warmly attached
to Thee, and smearbread and better and Him and newlaidills, it was
rightly suspected that such ire could not have been visited by him
Brotfressor Prenderguest even underwittingly, upon the ancestral
pneuma of one whom, with rheuma, he venerated shamelessly at least
once a week at Cockspur Common as his apple in his eye and her first
boys' best friend and, though plain English for a married lady misled
heaps by the way, yet when some peerer or peeress detected that the
fourleaved shamrock or quadrifoil jab was more recurrent wherever the
script was clear and the term terse and that these two were the selfsame
spots naturally selected for her perforations by Dame Partlet on her
dungheap, thinkers all put grown in waterungspillfull Pratiland only and
a playful fowl and musical me and not you in any case, two and two
together, and, with a swarm of bisses honeyhunting after, a sigh for
shyme (O, the pettybonny rouge!) separated modest mouths. So be it.
And it was. The lettermaking of the explots of Fjorgn Camhelsson when
he   was   in   the   Kvinnes   country   with   Soldru's   men.   With
acknowledgment of our fervour of the first instant he remains years
most fainfully. For postscrapt see spoils. Though not yet had the sailor
sipped that sup nor the humphar foamed to the fill. And fox and geese
still kept the peace around L'Auberge du Père Adam.

     Small need after that, old Jeromesolem, old Huffsnuff, old
Andycox, old Olecasandrum, for quizzing your weekenders come to the
R.Q. with: shoots off in a hiss, muddles up in a mussmass and his
whole's a dismantled noondrunkard's son. Howbeit we heard not a son
of sons to leave by him to oceanic society in his old man without a thing
in his ignorance, Tulko MacHooley. And it was thus he was at every
time, that son, and the other time, the day was in it and after the morrow
Diremood is the name is on the writing chap of the psalter, the
juxtajunctor of a dearmate and he passing out of one desire into its
fellow. The daughters are after going and loojing for him, Torba's
nicelookers of the fair neck. Wanted for millinary servance to olderly's
person by the Totty Askinses. Formelly confounded with amother.
Maybe growing a moustache, did you say, with an adorable look of
amuzement? And uses noclass billiardhalls with an upandown ladder?
Not Hans the Curier though had he had have only had some little
laughings and some less of cheeks and were he not so warried by his
bulb of persecussion he could have, ay, and would have, as true as
Essex bridge. And not Gopheph go gossip, I declare to man! Noe! To
all's much relief one's half hypothesis of that jabberjaw ape amok the
showering jestnuts of Bruisanose was hotly dropped and his room taken
up by that odious and still today insufficiently malestimated
notesnatcher (kak, pfooi, bosh and fiety, much earny, Gus, poteen? Sez
you!) Shem the Penman.
Chapter 6




So?

Who do you no tonigh, lazy and gentleman?

The echo is where in the back of the wodes; callhim forth!
    (Shaun Mac Irewick, briefdragger, for the concern of Messrs Jhon
Jhamieson and Song, rated one hundrick and thin per storehundred on
this nightly quisquiquock of the twelve apostrophes, set by Jockit Mic
Ereweak. He misunderstruck and aim for am ollo of number three of
them and left his free natural ripostes to four of them in their own fine
artful disorder.)

    1. What secondtonone myther rector and maximost bridgesmaker
was the first to rise taller through his beanstale than the bluegum
buaboababbaun or the giganteous Wellingtonia Sequoia; went nudiboots
with trouters into a liffeyette when she was barely in her tricklies; was
well known to claud a conciliation cap onto the esker of his hooth;
sports a chainganger's albert solemenly over his hullender's epulence;
thought he weighed a new ton when there felled his first lapapple; gave
the heinousness of choice to everyknight betwixt yesterdicks and
twomaries; had sevenal successivecoloured serebanmaids on the same
big white drawringroam horthrug; is a Willbeforce to this hour at house
as he was in heather; pumped the catholick wartrey and shocked the
prodestung boyne; killed his own hungery self in anger as a young man;
found fodder for five when allmarken rose goflooded; with Hirish
tutores Cornish made easy; voucherof rotables, toll of the road; bred
manyheaded stepsons for one leapyourown taughter; is too funny for a
fish and has too much outside for an insect; like a heptagon crystal
emprisoms trues and fauss for us; is infinite swell in unfitting
induments; once was he shovelled and once was he arsoned and once
was he inundered and she hung him out billbailey; has a quadrant in his
tile to tell Toler cad a'clog it is; offers chances to Long on but stands up
to Legge before; found coal at the end of his harrow and mossroses
behind the seams; made a fort out of his postern and wrote F.E.R.T. on
his buckler; is escapemaster-in-chief from all sorts of houdingplaces; if
he outharrods against barkers, to the shoolbred he acts whiteley; was
evacuated at the mere appearance of three germhuns and twice besieged
by a sweep; from zoomorphology to omnianimalism he is brooched by
the spin of a coin; towers, an eddistoon amid the lampless, casting
swannbeams on the deep; threatens thunder upon malefactors and sends
whispers up fraufrau's froufrous; when Dook Hookbackcrook upsits his
ass booseworthies jeer and junket but they boos him oos and baas his
aas when he lukes like Hunkett Plunkett; by sosannsos and search a
party on a lady of this city; business, reading newspaper, smoking cigar,
arranging tumblers on table, eating meals, pleasure, etcetera, etcetera,
pleasure, eating meals, arranging tumblers on table, smoking cigar,
reading newspaper, business; minerals, wash and brush up, local views,
juju toffee, comic and birthdays cards; those were the days and he was
their hero; pink sunset shower, red clay cloud, sorrow of Sahara, oxhide
on Iren; arraigned and attainted, listed and lited, pleaded and proved;
catches his check at banck of Indgangd and endurses his doom at chapel
exit; brain of the franks, hand of the christian, tongue of the north;
commands to dinner and calls the bluff; has a block at Morgen's and a
hatache all the afternunch; plays gehamerat when he's ernst but misses
mausey when he's lustyg; walked as far as the Head where he sat in state
as the Rump; shows Early English tracemarks and a marigold window
with manigilt lights, a myrioscope, two remarkable piscines and three
wellworthseeing ambries; arches all portcullised and his nave dates from
dots; isa horologe unstoppable and the Benn of all bells; fuit, isst and
herit and though he's mildewstaned he's mouldystoned; is a quercuss in
the forest but plane member for Megalopolis; mountunmighty,
faunonfleetfoot; plank in our platform, blank in our scouturn; hidal, in
carucates he is enumerated, hold as an earl, he counts; shipshaped
phrase of buglooking words with a form like the easing moments of a
graminivorous; to our dooms brought he law, our manoirs he made his
vill of; was an overgrind to the underground and acqueduced for
fierythroats; sends boys in socks acoughawhooping when he lets farth
his carbonoxside and silk stockings show her shapings when he looses
hose on hers; stocks dry puder for the Ill people and pinkun's pellets for
all the Pale; gave his mundyfoot to Miserius, her pinch to Anna Livia,
that superfine pigtail to Cerisia Cerosia and quid rides to Titius, Caius
and Sempronius; made the man who had no notion of shopkeepers feel
he'd rather play the duke than play the gentleman; shot two queans and
shook three caskles when he won his game of dwarfs; fumes inwards
like a strombolist till he smokes at both ends; manmote, befier of him,
womankind, pietad!; shows one white drift of snow among the
gorsegrowth of his crown and a chaperon of repentance on that which
shed gore; pause and quies, triple bill; went by metro for the polis and
then hoved by; to the finders, hail! woa, you that seek!; whom fillth had
plenished, dearth devoured; hock is leading, cocoa comes next, emery
tries for the flag; can dance the O'Bruin's polerpasse at Noolahn to his
own orchistruss accompaniment; took place before the internatural
convention of catholic midwives and found stead before the congress
for the study of endonational calamities; makes a delictuous entrée and
finishes off the course between sweets and savouries; flouts for
forecasts, flairs for finds and the fun of the fray on the fairground;
cleared out three hundred sixty five idles to set up one all khalassal for
henwives hoping to have males; the flawhoolagh, the grasping one, the
kindler of paschal fire; forbids us our trespassers as we forgate him; the
phoenix be his pyre, the cineres his sire!; piles big pelium on little ossas
like the pilluls of hirculeads; has an eatupus complexand a
drinkthedregs kink; wurstmeats for chumps and cowcarlows for
scullions; when he plies for our favour is very trolly ours; two psychic
espousals and three desertions; may be matter of fact now but was futter
of magd then; Cattermole Hill, exmountain of flesh was reared up by
stress and sank under strain; tank it up, dank it up, tells the tailor to his
tout; entoutcas for a man, but bit a thimble for a maid; blimp, blump; a
dud letter, a sing a song a sylble; a byword, a sentence with surcease;
while stands his canyouseehim frails shall fall; was hatched at
Cellbridge but ejoculated abrood; as it gan in the biguinnengs so wound
up in a battle of Boss; Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, O, you've gone the
way of the Danes; variously catalogued, regularly regrouped; a
bushboys holoday, a quacker's mating, a wenches' sandbath; the same
homoheatherous checkinlossegg as when sollyeye airly blew ye; real
detonation but false report; spa mad but inn sane; half emillian via
bogus census but a no street hausmann when allphannd; is the handiest
of all andies and a most alleghant spot to dump your hump; hands his
secession to the new patricius but plumps plebmatically for the bloody
old centuries; eats with doors open and ruts with gates closed; some dub
him Rotshield and more limn him Rockyfellow; shows he's fly to both
demisfairs but thries to cover up his tracers; seven dovecotes cooclaim
to have been pigeonheim to this homer, Smerrnion, Rhoebok,
Kolonsreagh, Seapoint, Quayhowth, Ashtown, Ratheny; independent of
the lordship of chamberlain, acknowledging the rule of Rome; we saw
thy farm at Useful Prine, Domhnall, Domhnall; reeks like Illbelpaese
and looks like Iceland's ear; lodged at quot places, lived through tot
reigns; takes a szumbath for his weekend and a wassarnap for his
refreskment; after a good bout at stoolball enjoys Giroflee Giroflaa;
what Nevermore missed and Colombo found; believes in everyman his
own goaldkeeper and in Africa for the fullblacks; the arc of his drive
was forty full and his stumps were pulled at eighty; boasts him to the
thick-inthews the oldest creater in Aryania and looks down on the Suiss
family Collesons whom he calls les nouvelles roches; though his heart,
soul and spirit turn to pharaoph times, his love, faith andhope stick to
futuerism; light leglifters cense him souriantes from afore while boor
browbenders curse him grommelants to his hindmost; between
youlasses and yeladst glimse of Even; the Lug his peak has, the Luk his
pile; drinks tharr and wodhar for his asama and eats the unparishable
sow to styve off reglar rack; the beggars cloak them reclined about his
paddystool, the whores winken him as they walk their side; on
Christienmas at Advent Lodge, New Yealand, after a lenty illness the
roeverand Mr Easterling of pentecostitis, no followers by bequest,
fanfare all private; Gone Where Glory Waits Him (Ball, bulletist) but
Not Here Yet (Maxwell, clark); comminxed under articles but
phoenished a borgiess; from the vat on the bier through the burre in the
dark to the buttle of the bawn; is A1 an the highest but Roh re his root;
filled fanned of hackleberries whenas all was tuck and toss up for him as
a yangster to fall fou of hockinbechers wherein he had gauged the use of
raisin; ads aliments, das doles, raps rustics, tams turmoil; sas seed
enough for a semination but sues skivvies on the sly; learned to speak
from hand to mouth till he could talk earish with his eyes shut; hacked
his way through hickheckhocks but hanged hishelp from there
hereafters; rialtos, annesleyg, binn and balls to say nothing atolk of New
Comyn; the gleam of the glow of the shine of the sun through the dearth
of the dirth on the blush of the brick of the viled ville of Barnehulme
has dust turned to brown; these dyed to tartan him, rueroot, dulse,
bracken, teasel, fuller's ash, sundew and cress; long gunn but not for
cotton; stood his sharp assault of famine but grew girther, girther and
girther; he has twenty four or so cousins germinating in the United
States of America and a namesake with an initial difference in the once
kingdom of Poland; his first's a young rose and his second's
FrenchEgyptian and his whole means a slump at Christie's; forth of his
pierced part came the woman of his dreams, blood thicker then water
last trade overseas; buyshop of Glintylook, eorl of Hoed; you and I are
in him surrented by brwn bldns; Elin's flee polt pelhaps but Hwang
Chang evelytime; he one was your of highbigpipey boys but fancy him
as smoking fags his at time oflife; Mount of Mish, Mell of Moy; had
two cardinal ventures and three capitol sinks; has a peep in his
pocketbook and a packetboat in his keep; B.V.H., B.L.G., P.P.M.,
T.D.S., V.B.D., T.C.H., L.O.N.; is Breakfates, Lunger, Diener and
Souper; as the streets were paved with cold he felt his topperairy; taught
himself skating and learned how to fall; distinctly dirty but rather a dear;
hoveth chieftains evrywehr, with morder; Ostman Effendi, Serge
Paddishaw; baases two mmany, outpriams al' his parisites; first of the
fenians, roi des fainéants; his Tiara of scones was held unfillable till one
Liam Fail felled him in Westmunster; was struck out of his sittem when
he rowed saulely to demask us and to our appauling predicament
brought as plagues from Buddapest; put a matchhead on an aspenstalk
and set the living a fire; speared the rod and spoiled the lightning;
married with cakes and repunked with pleasure; till he was buried
howhappy was he and he made the welkins ring with Up Micawber!;
god at the top of the staircase, carrion on the mat of straw; the false
hood of a spindler web chokes the cavemouth of his unsightliness but
the nestlings that liven his leafscreen sing him a lover of arbuties; we
strike hands over his bloodied warsheet but we are pledged entirely to
his green mantle; our friend vikelegal, our swaran foi; under the four
stones by his streams who vanished the wassailbowl at the joy of shells;
Mora and Lora had a hill of a high time looking down on his confusion
till firm look in readiness, forward spear and the windfoot of curach
strewed the lakemist of Lego over the last of his fields; we darkened for
you, faulterer, in the year of mourning but we'll fidhil to the
dimtwinklers when the streamy morvenlight calls up the sunbeam; his
striped pantaloons, his rather strange walk; hereditatis columna erecta,
hagion chiton eraphon; nods a nap for the nonce but crows cheerio
when they get ecunemical; is a simultaneous equator of elimbinated
integras when three upon one is by inspection improper; has the most
conical hodpiece of confusianist heronim and that chuchuffuous
chinchin of his is like a footsey kungoloo around Taishantyland; he's as
globeful as a gasometer of lithium and luridity and he was thrice ten
anularyears before he wallowed round Raggiant Circos; the cabalstone
at the coping of his cavin is a canine constant but only an amirican
could apparoxemete the apeupresiosity of his atlast's alongement;
sticklered rights and lefts at Baddersdown in his hunt for the boar trwth
but made his end with the modareds that came at him in Camlenstrete; a
hunnibal in exhaustive conflict, an otho to return; burning body to aiger
air on melting mountain in wooing wave; we go into him sleepy
children, we come out of him strucklers for life; he divested to save
from the Mrs Drownings their rival queens while Grimshaw, Bragshaw
and Renshaw made off with his storen clothes; taxed and rated, licensed
and ranted; his threefaced stonehead was found on a whitehorse hill and
the print of his costellous feet is seen in the goat's grasscircle; pull the
blind, toll the deaf and call dumb, lame and halty; Miraculone,
Monstrucceleen; led the upplaws at the Creation and hissed a snake
charmer off her stays; hounded become haunter, hunter become fox;
harrier, marrier, terrier, tav; Olaph the Oxman, Thorker the Tourable;
you feel he is Vespasian yet you think of him as Aurelius; whugamore,
tradertory, socianist, commoniser; made a summer assault on our shores
and begiddy got his sands full; first he shot down Raglan Road and then
he tore up Marlborough Place; Cromlechheight and Crommalhill were
his farfamed feetrests when our lurch as lout let free into the Lubar
heloved; mareschalled his wardmotes and delimited the main; netted
before nibbling, can scarce turn a scale but, grossed after meals, weighs
a town in himself; Banba prayed for his conversion, Beurla missed that
grand old voice; a Colossus among cabbages, the Melarancitrone of
fruits; larger than life, doughtier than death; Gran Turco, orege forment;
lachsembulger, leperlean; the sparkle of his genial fancy, the depth of
his calm sagacity, the clearness of his spotless honour, the flow of his
boundless benevolence; our family furbear, our tribal tarnpike; quary
was he invincibled and cur was he burked; partitioned Irskaholm, united
Irishmen; he took a svig at his own methyr but she tested a bit gorky
and as for the salmon he was coming up in him all life long; comm,
eilerdich hecklebury and sawyer thee, warden;silent as the bee in honey,
stark as the breath on hauwck, Costello, Kinsella, Mahony, Moran,
though you rope Amrique your home ruler is Dan; figure right, he is
hoisted by the scurve of his shaggy neck, figure left, he is rationed in
isobaric patties among the crew; one asks was he poisoned, one thinks
how much did he leave; ex-gardener (Riesengebirger), fitted up with
planturous existencies would make Roseoogreedy (mite's) little hose;
taut sheets and scuppers awash but the oil silk mack Liebsterpet micks
his aquascutum; the enjoyment he took in kay women, the employment
he gave to gee men; sponsor to a squad of piercers, ally to a host of
rawlies; against lightning, explosion, fire, earthquake, flood, whirlwind,
burglary, third party, rot, loss of cash, loss of credit, impact of vehicles;
can rant as grave as oxtail soup and chat as gay as a porto flippant; is
unhesitent in his unionism and yet a pigotted nationalist; Sylviacola is
shy of him, Matrosenhosens nose the joke; shows the sinews of peace in
his chest-o-wars; fiefeofhome, ninehundred and thirtunine years of
copyhold; is aldays open for polemypolity's sake when he's not suntimes
closed for the love of Janus; sucks life's eleaxir from the pettipickles of
the Jewess and ruoulls in sulks if any popeling runs down the
Huguenots; Boomaport, Walleslee, Ubermeerschall Blowcher and
Supercharger, Monsieur Ducrow, Mister Mudson, master gardiner; to
one he's just paunch and judex, to another full of beans and brehons;
hallucination, cauchman, ectoplasm; passed for baabaa blacksheep till
he grew white woo woo woolly; was drummatoysed by Mac Milligan's
daughter and put to music by one shoebard; all fitzpatricks in his
emirate remember him, the boys of wetford hail him babu; indanified
himself with boro tribute and was schenkt publicly to brigstoll; was
given the light in drey orchafts and entumuled in threeplexes; his
likeness is in Terrecuite and he giveth rest to the rainbowed; lebriety,
frothearnity and quality; his reverse makes a virtue of necessity while
his obverse mars a mother by invention; beskilk his gunwale and he's
the second imperial, untie points, unhook tenters and he's lath and
plaster; calls upon Allthing when he fails to appeal to Eachovos;
basidens, ardree, kongsemma, rexregulorum; stood into Dee mouth,then
backed broadside on Baulacleeva; either eldorado or ultimate thole; a
kraal of fou feud fires, a crawl of five pubs; laid out lashings of laveries
to hunt down his family ancestors and then pled double trouble or quick
quits to hush the buckers up; threw pebblets for luck over one sodden
shoulder and dragooned peoplades armed to their teeth; pept as Gaudio
Gambrinus, grim as Potter the Grave; ace of arts, deuce of damimonds,
trouble of clubs, fear of spates; cumbrum, cumbrum, twiniceynurseys
fore a drum but tre to uno tips the scale; reeled the titleroll opposite a
brace of girdles in Silver on the Screen but was sequenced from the set
as Crookback by the even more titulars, Rick, Dave and Barry; he can
get on as early as the twentysecond of Mars but occasionally he doesn't
come off before Virgintiquinque Germinal; his Indian name is
Hapapoosiesobjibway and his number in arithmosophy is the stars of the
plough; took weapon in the province of the pike and let fling his line on
Eelwick; moves in vicous cicles yet remews the same; the drain rats
bless his offals while the park birds curse his floodlights; Portobello,
Equadocta, Therecocta, Percorello; he pours into the softclad shellborn
the hard cash earned in Watling Street; his birth proved accidental
shows his death its grave mistake; brought us giant ivy from the land of
younkers and bewitthered Apostolopolos with the gale of his gall; while
satisfied that soft youthful bright matchless girls should bosom into fine
silkclad joyous blooming young women is not so pleased that heavy
swearsome strongsmelling irregularshaped men should blottout active
handsome wellformed frankeyed boys; herald hairyfair, alloaf the
wheat; husband your aunt and endow your nepos; hearken but hush it,
screen him and see; time is, an archbishopric, time was, a tradesmen's
entrance; beckburn brooked with wath, scale scarred by scow; his
rainfall is a couple of kneehighs while his meanst grass temperature
marked three in the shade; is the meltingpoint of snow and the
bubblingplace of alcohol; has a tussle with the trulls and then does
himself justice; hinted at in the eschatological chapters of Humphrey's
Justesse of the Jaypees and hunted for by Theban recensors who sniff
there's something behind the Bug of the Deaf; the king was inhis
cornerwall melking mark so murry, the queen was steep in armbour
feeling fain and furry, the mayds was midst the hawthorns shoeing up
their hose, out pimps the back guards (pomp!) and pump gun they goes;
to all his foretellers he reared a stone and for all his comethers he
planted a tree; forty acres, sixty miles, white stripe, red stripe, washes
his fleet in annacrwatter; whou missed a porter so whot shall he do for
he wanted to sit for Pimploco but they've caught him to stand for Sue?;
Dutchlord, Dutchlord, overawes us; Headmound, king and martyr,
dunstung in the Yeast, Pitre-le-Pore-in Petrin, Barth-the-Grete-by-
theExchange; he hestens towards dames troth and wedding hand like the
prince of Orange and Nassau while he has trinity left behind him like
Bowlbeggar Bill-the-Bustonly; brow of a hazelwood, pool in the dark;
changes blowicks into bullocks and a well of Artesia into a bird of
Arabia;      the      handwriting       on      his      facewall,      the
cryptoconchoidsiphonostomata in his exprussians; his birthspot lies
beyond the herospont and his burialplot in the pleasant little field; is the
yldist kiosk on the pleninsula and the unguest hostel in Saint
Scholarland; walked many hundreds and many score miles of streets
and lit thousands in one nightlights in hectares of windows; his great
wide cloak lies on fifteen acres and his little white horse decks by
dozens our doors; O sorrow the sail and woe the rudder that were set for
Mairie Quai!; his suns the huns, his dartars the tartars, are plenty here
today; who repulsed from his burst the bombolts of Ostenton and
falchioned each flash downsaduck in the deep; apersonal problem, a
locative enigma; upright one, vehicule of arcanisation in the field, lying
chap, floodsupplier of celiculation through ebblanes; a part of the whole
as a port for a whale; Dear Hewitt Castello, Equerry, were daylighted
with our outing and are looking backwards to unearly summers, from
Rhoda Dundrums; is above the seedfruit level and outside the
leguminiferous zone; when older links lock older hearts then he'll
resemble she; can be built with glue and clippings, scrawled or voided
on a buttress; the night express sings his story, the song of sparrownotes
on his stave of wires; he crawls with lice, he swarms with saggarts; is as
quiet as amursque but can be as noisy as a sonogog; was Dilmun when
his date was palmy and Mudlin when his nut was cracked; suck up the
sease, lep laud at ease, one lip on his lap and one cushlin his crease; his
porter has a mighty grasp and his baxters the boon of broadwhite; as far
as wind dries and rain eats and sun turns and water bounds he is exalted
and depressed, assembled and asundered; go away, we are deluded,
come back, we are disghosted; bored the Ostrov, leapt the Inferus, swam
the Mabbul and flure the Moyle; like fat, like fatlike tallow, of
greasefulness, yea of dripping greasefulness; did not say to the old, old,
did not say to the scorbutic, scorbutic; he has founded a house, Uru, a
house he has founded to which he has assigned its fate; bears a raaven
geulant on a fjeld duiv; ruz the halo off his varlet when he appeared to
his shecook as Haycock, Emmet, Boaro, Toaro, Osterich, Mangy and
Skunk; pressed the beer of aled age out of the nettles of rashness; put a
roof on the lodge for Hymn and a coq in his pot pro homo; was dapifer
then pancircensor then hortifex magnus; the topes that tippled on him,
the types that toppled off him; still starts our hares yet gates our goat;
pocketbook packetboat, gapman gunrun; the light of other days, dire
dreary darkness; our awful dad, Timour of Tortur; puzzling, startling,
shocking, nay, perturbing; went puffing from king's brugh to new
customs, doffing the gibbous off him to every breach of all size; with
Pa's new heft and Papa's new helve he's Papapa's old cutlass Papapapa
left us; when youngheaded oldshouldered and middlishneck aged about;
caller herring everydaily, turgid tarpon overnight; see Loryon the
comaleon that changed endocrine history by loeven his loaf with forty
bannucks; she drove him dafe till he driv her blind up; the pigeons
doves be perchin all over him one day on Baslesbridge and the ravens
duv be pitchin their dark nets after him the next night behind
Koenigstein's Arbour; tronf of the rep, comf of the priv, prosp of the
pub; his headwood it's ideal if his feet are bally clay; he crashed in the
hollow of the park, trees down, as he soared in the vaguum of the
phoenix, stones up; looks like a moultain boultter and sounds like a rude
word; the mountain view, some lumin paleround a lamp of succar in
boinyn water; three shots a puddy at up blup saddle; made up to Miss
MacCormack Ni Lacarthy who made off with Darly Dermod, swank
and swarthy; once diamond cut garnet now dammat cuts groany; you
might find him at the Florence but watch our for him in Wynn's Hotel;
theer's his bow and wheer's his leaker and heer lays his bequiet hearse,
deep; Swed Albiony, likeliest villain of the place; Hennery Canterel —
Cockran, eggotisters, limitated; we take our tays and frees our fleas
round sadurn's mounted foot; built the Lund's kirk and destroyed the
church's land; who guesse his title grabs his deeds; fletch and prities,
fash and chaps; artful Juke of Wilysly; Hugglebelly's Funniral; Kukkuk
Kallikak; heard in camera and excruciated; boon when with benches
billeted, bann if buckshotbackshattered; heavengendered, chaosfoedted,
earthborn; his father presumptively ploughed it deep on overtime and
his mother as all evince must have travailled her fair share; a footprinse
on the Megacene, hetman unwhorsed by Searingsand; honorary captain
of the extemporised fire brigade, reported to be friendly with the police;
the door is still open; the old stock collar is coming back; not forgetting
the time you laughed at Elder Charterhouse's duckwhite pants and the
way you said the whole township can see his hairy legs; by stealth of a
kersse her aulburntress abaft his nape she hung; when his kettle became
a hearthsculdus our thorstyites set their lymphyamphyre; his yearletter
concocted by masterhands of assays, his hallmark imposed by the
standard of wrought plate; a pair of pectorals and a triplescreen to get a
wind up; lights his pipe with a rosin tree and hires a towhorse to haul his
shoes; cures slavey's scurvy, breaks barons boils; called to sell polosh
and was found later in a bedroom; has his seat of justice, his house of
mercy, his corn o'copious and his stacks a'rye; prospector, he had a
rooksacht, retrospector, he holds the holpenstake; won the freedom of
new yoke for the minds of jugoslaves; acts active, peddles in passivism
and is a gorgon of selfridgeousness; pours a laughsworth of his
illformation over a larmsworth of salt; half heard the single maiden
speech La Belle spun to her Grand Mount and wholed a lifetimeby his
ain fireside, wondering was it hebrew set to himmeltones or the
quicksilversong of qwaternions; his troubles may be over but his
doubles have still to come; the lobster pot that crabbed our keel, the
garden pet that spoiled our squeezed peas; he stands in a lovely park,
sea is not far, importunate towns of X, Y and Z are easily over reached;
is an excrescence to civilised humanity and but a wart on Europe;
wanamade singsigns to soundsense an yit he wanna git all his flesch
nuemaid motts truly prural and plusible; has excisively large rings and
is uncustomarily perfumed; lusteth ath he listeth the cleah whithpeh of a
themise; is a prince of the fingallian in a hiberniad of hoolies; has a
hodge to wherry him and a frenchy to curry him and a brabanson for his
beeter and a fritz at his switch; was waylaid of a parker and beschotten
by a buckeley; kicks lintils when he's cuppy and casts Jacob's arroroots,
dime after dime, to poor waifstrays on the perish; reads the charms of H.
C. Endersen all the weaks of his evenin and the crimes of Ivaun the
Taurrible every strongday morn; soaps you soft to your face and slaps
himself when he's badend; owns the bulgiest bungbarrel that ever was
tiptapped in the privace of the Mullingar Inn; was born with a nuasilver
tongue in his mouth and went round the coast of Iron with his lift hand
to the scene; raised but two fingers and yet smelt it would day; for
whom it is easier to found a see in Ebblannah than for I or you to find a
dubbeltye in Dampsterdamp; to live with whom is a lifemayor and to
know whom a liberal education; was dipped in Hoily Olives and
chrysmed in Scent Otooles; hears cricket on the earth but annoys the life
out of predikants; still turns the durc's ear of Darius to the now
thoroughly infurioted one of God; made Man with juts that jerk and
minted money mong maney; likes a six acup pudding when he's come
whome sweetwhome; has come through all the eras of livsadventure
from moonshine and shampaying down to clouts and pottled porter;
woollem the farsed, hahnreich the althe, charge the sackend, writchad
the thord; if a mandrake shricked to convultures at last surviving his
birth the weibduck will wail bitternly over the rotter's resurrection; loses
weight in the moon night but gird girder by the sundawn; with one
touchof nature set a veiled world agrin and went within a sheet of
tissuepaper of the option of three gaols; who could see at one blick a
saumon taken with a lance, hunters pursuing a doe, a swallowship in full
sail, a whyterobe lifting a host; faced flappery like old King Cnut and
turned his back like Cincinnatus; is a farfar and morefar and a hoar
father Nakedbucker in villas old as new; squats aquart and cracks
aquaint when it's flaggin in town and on haven; blows whiskery around
his summit but stehts stout upon his footles; stutters fore he falls and
goes mad entirely when he's waked; is Timb to the pearly mom and
Tomb to the mourning night; and an he had the best bunbaked bricks in
bould Babylon for his pitching plays he'd be lost for the want of his wan
wubblin wall?

    Answer: Finn MacCool!

    2. Does your mutter know your mike?

    Answer: When I turn meoptics, from suchurban prospects, 'tis my
filial's bosom, doth behold with pride, that pontificator, and
circumvallator, with his dam night garrulous, slipt by his side. Ann
alive, the lisp of her, 'twould grig mountains whisper her, and the bergs
of Iceland melt in waves of fire, and her spoonme-spondees, and her
dirckle-me-ondenees, make the Rageous Ossean, kneel and quaff a lyre!
If Dann's dane, Ann's dirty, if he's plane she's purty, if he's fane, she's
flirty, with her auburnt streams, and her coy cajoleries, and her dabblin
drolleries, for to rouse his rudderup, or to drench his dreams. If hot
Hammurabi, or cowld Clesiastes, could espy her pranklings, they'd burst
bounds agin, and renounce their ruings, and denounce their doings, for
river and iver, and a night. Amin!

    3. Which title is the true-to-type motto-in-lieu for that Tick for Teac
thatchment painted witt wheth one darkness, where asnake is under
clover and birds aprowl are in the rookeries and a magda went to
monkishouse and a riverpaard was spotted, which is not Whichcroft
Whorort not Ousterholm Dreyschluss not Haraldsby, grocer, not
Vatandcan, vintner, not Houseboat and Hive not Knox-atta-Belle not
O'Faynix Coalprince not Wohn Squarr Roomyeck not Ebblawn Downes
not Le DecerLe Mieux not Benjamin's Lea not Tholomew's
Whaddingtun gnot Antwarp gnat Musca not Corry's not Weir's not the
Arch not The Smug not The Dotch House not The Uval nothing Grand
nothing Splendid (Grahot or Spletel) nayther Erat Est Erit noor Non
michi sed luciphro?

    Answer: Thine obesity, O civilian, hits the felicitude of our orb!

    4. What Irish capitol city (a dea o dea!) of two syllables and six
letters, with a deltic origin and a nuinous end, (ah dust oh dust!) can
boost of having a) the most extensive public park in the world, b) the
most expensive brewing industry in the world, c) the most expansive
peopling thoroughfare in the world, d) the most phillohippuc
theobibbous paùpulation in the word: and harmonise your abecedeed
responses?

    Answer: a) Delfas. And when ye'll hear the gould hommers of my
heart, my floxy loss, bingbanging again the ribs of yer resistance and the
tenderbolts of my rivets working to your destraction ye'll be sheverin wi'
all yer dinful sobs when we'll go riding acope-acurly, you with yer
orange garland and me with my conny cordial, down the greaseways of
rollicking into the waters of wetted life. b) Dorhqk. And sure where can
you have such good old chimes anywhere, and leave you, as on the
Mash and how'tis I would be engaging you with my plovery soft accents
and descanting upover the scene beunder me of your loose vines in their
hairafall with them two loving loofs braceleting the slims of your ankles
and your mouth's flower rose and sinking ofter the soapstone of silvry
speech. c) Nublid. Isha, why wouldn't we be happy, avourneen, on the
mills' money he'll soon be leaving you as soon as I've my own owned
brooklined Georgian mansion's lawn to recruit upon by Doctor Cheek's
special orders and my copper's panful of soybeans and Irish in my east
hand and a James's Gate in my west, after all the errears and erroriboose
of combarative embottled history, and your goodself churning over the
newleaved butter (more power to you), the choicest and the cheapest
from Atlanta to Oconee, while I'll be drowsing in the gaarden. d)
Dalway. I hooked mythoroughgoing trotty the first down Spanish Place,
Mayo I make, Tuam I take, Sligo's sleek but Galway's grace. Holy eel
and Sainted Salmon, chucking chub and ducking dace, Rodiron's not
your aequal! says she, leppin half the lane. abcd) A bell a bell on
Shalldoll Steepbell, ond be'll go massplon pristmoss speople, Shand
praise gon ness our fayst moan neople, our prame Shandeepen, pay
name muy feepence, moy nay non Aequallllllll!

    5. Whad slags of a loughladd would retten smuttyflesks, emptout
old mans, melk vitious geit, scareoff jackinjills fra tiddle anding,
smoothpick waste papish pastures, insides man outsiders angell, sprink
dirted water around village, newses, tobaggon and sweeds, plain general
kept, louden on the kirkpeal, foottreats given to malafides, outshriek
hyelp hyelf nor his hair efter buggelawrs, might underhold three barnets,
putzpolish crotty bottes, nightcoover all fireglims, serve's time till baass,
grindstone his kniveses, fullest boarded, lewd man of the method of
godliness, perchance he nieows and thans sits in the spoorwaggen,
X.W.C.A. on Z.W.C.U., Doorsteps, Limited, or Baywindaws Bros
swobber preferred. Walther Clausetter's and Sons with the H. E.
Chimneys' Company to not skreve, will, on advices, be bacon or stable
hand, must begripe fullstandingly irers' langurge, jublander or
northquain bigger prefurred, all duties, kine rights, family fewd, outings
fived, may get earnst, no get combitsch, profusional drinklords to please
obstain, he is fatherlow soundigged inmoodmined pershoon but
aleconnerman, nay, that must he isn't?

    Answer: Pore ole Joe!

    6. What means the saloon slogan Summon In The Housesweep
Dinah?

    Answer: Tok. Galory bit of the sales of Cloth nowand I have to
beeswax the bringing in all the claub of the porks to us how I thawght I
knew his stain on the flower if me ask and can could speak and he called
by me midden name Tik. I am your honey honeysugger phwhtphwht tha
Bay and who bruk the dandleass and who seen the blackcullen jam for
Tomorrha's big pickneck I hope it'll pour prais the Climate of all Ireland
I heard thegrackles and I skimming the crock on all your sangwidges
fippence per leg per drake. Tuk. And who eight the last of the
goosebellies that was mowlding from measlest years and who leff that
there and who put that here and who let the kilkenny stale the chump.
Tek. And whowasit youwasit propped the pot in the yard and whatinthe
nameofsen lukeareyou rubbinthe sideofthe flureofthe lobbywith. Shite!
will you have a plateful? Tak.
    7. Who are those component partners of our societate, the doorboy,
the cleaner, the sojer, the crook, the squeezer, the lounger, the curman,
the tourabout, the mussroomsniffer, the bleakablue tramp, the
funpowtherplother, the christymansboxer, from their prés salés and
Donnybrook prater and Roebuck's campos and the Ager Arountown and
Crumglen's grassy but Kimmage's champ and Ashtown fields and Cabra
fields and Finglas fields and Santry fields and the feels of Raheny and
their fails and Baldoygle to them who are latecomers all the year's round
by anticipation, are the porters of the passions in virtue of
retroratiocination, and, contributting their conflingent controversies of
differentiation, unify their voxes in a vote of vaticination, who crunch
the crusts of comfort due to depredation, drain the mead for misery to
incur intoxication, condone every evil by practical justification and
condam any good to its own gratification, who are ruled, roped, duped
and driven by those numen daimons, the feekeepers at their laws,
nightly consternation, fortnightly fornication, monthly miserecordation
and omniannual recreation, doyles when they deliberate but sullivans
when they are swordsed, Matey, Teddy, Simon, Jorn, Pedher, Andy,
Barty, Philly, Jamesy Mor and Tom, Matt and Jakes Mac Carty?

    Answer: The Morphios!

    8. And how war yore maggies?

    Answer: They war loving, they love laughing, they laugh weeping,
they weep smelling, they smell smiling, they smile hating, they hate
thinking, they think feeling, they feel tempting, they tempt daring, they
dare waiting, they wait taking, they take thanking, they thank seeking,
as born for lorn in lore of love to live and wive by wile and rile by rule
of ruse 'reathed rose andhose hol'd home, yeth cometh elope year, coach
and four, Sweet Peck-at-my-Heart picks one man more.

    9. Now, to be on anew and basking again in the panaroma of all
flores of speech, if a human being duly fatigued by his dayety in the
sooty, having plenxty off time on his gouty hands and vacants of space
at his sleepish feet and as hapless behind the dreams of accuracy as any
camelot prince of dinmurk, were at this auctual futule preteriting
unstant, in the states of suspensive exanimation, accorded, throughout
the eye of a noodle, with an earsighted view of old hopeinhaven with all
the ingredient and egregiunt whights and ways to which in the curse of
his persistence the course of his tory will had been having recourses, the
reverberration of knotcracking awes, the reconjungation of nodebinding
ayes, the redissolusingness of mindmouldered ease and the thereby hang
of the Hoel of it, could such a none, whiles even led comesilencers to
comeliewithhers and till intempestuous Nox should catch the gallicry
and spot lucan's dawn, byhold at ones what is main and why tis twain,
how one once meet melts in tother wants poignings, the sap rising, the
foles falling, the nimb now nihilant round the girlyhead so becoming,
the wrestless in the womb, all the rivals to allsea, shakeagain, O
disaster! shakealose, Ah how starring! but Heng's got a bit of Horsa's
nose and Jeff's got the signs of Ham round his mouth and the beau that
spun beautiful pales as it palls, what roserude and oragious grows gelb
and greem, blue out the ind of it! Violet's dyed! then what would that
fargazer seem to seemself to seem seeming of, dimm it all?

    Answer: A collideorscape!

    10. What bitter's love but yurning, what' sour lovemutch but a bref
burning till shee that drawes dothe smoake retourne?

    Answer: I know, pepette, of course, dear, but listen, precious!
Thanks, pette, those are lovely, pitounette, delicious! But mind the
wind, sweet! What exquisite hands you have, you angiol, if you didn't
gnaw your nails, isn't it a wonder you're not achamed of me, you pig,
you perfect little pigaleen! I'll nudge you in a minute! I bet you use her
best Perisian smear off her vanity tableto make them look so rosetop
glowstop nostop. I know her. Slight me, would she? For every got I
care! Three creamings a day, the first during her shower and wipe off
with tissue. Then after cleanup and of course before retiring. Beme
shawl, when I think of that espos of a Clancarbry, the foodbrawler, of
the sociationist party with hiss blackleaded chest, hello, Prendregast!
that you, Innkipper, and all his fourteen other fullback maulers or
hurling stars or whatever the dagos they are, baiting at my Lord
Ornery's, just becups they won the egg and spoon there so ovally
provencial at Balldole. My Eilish assent he seed makes his admiracion.
He is seeking an opening and means to be first with me as his belle
alliance. Andoo musnoo play zeloso! Soso do todas. Such is Spanish.
Stoop alittle closer, fealse! Delightsome simply! Like Jolio and
Romeune. I haven't fell so turkish for ages and ages! Mine's me of
squisious, the chocolate with a soul. Extraordinary! Why, what are they
all, the mucky lot of them only? Sht! I wouldn't pay three hairpins for
them. Peppt! That's rights, hold it steady! Leg me pull. Pu! Come big to
Iran. Poo! What are you nudging for? No, I just thought you were.
Listen, loviest! Of course it was too kind of you, miser, to remember my
sighs in shockings, my often expressed wish when you were wandering
about my trousseaurs and before I forget it don't forget, in your
extensions to my personality, when knotting my remembrancetie,
shoeweek will be trotting back with red heels at the end of the moon but
look what the fool bought cabbage head and, as I shall answer to
gracious heaven, I'll always in always remind of snappy new girters, me
being always the one for charms with my very best in proud and gloving
even if he was to be vermillion miles my youth to live on, the rubberend
Mr Polkingtone, the quonian fleshmonger who Mother Browne solicited
me for unlawful converse with, with her mug of October (a pots on it!),
creaking around on his old shanksaxle like a crosty old cornquake.
Airman, waterwag, terrier, blazer! I'm fine, thanks ever! Ha! O mind
you poo tickly. Sall I puhim in momou. Mummum. Funny spot to have
a fingey! I'm terribly sorry, I swear to you I am! May you never see me
in mybirthday pelts seenso tutu and that her blanches mainges may rot
leprous off her whatever winking maggis I'll bet by your cut you go
fleurting after with all the glass on her and the jumps in her
stomewhere! Haha! I suspected she was! Sink her! May they fire her for
a barren ewe! So she says: Tay for thee? Well, I saith: Angst so mush:
and desired she might not take it amiss if I esteemed her but an odd. If I
did ate toughturf I'm not a mishymissy. Of course I know, pettest, you're
so learningful and considerate in yourself, so friend of vegetables, you
long cold cat you! Please by acquiester to meek my acquointance!
Codling, snakelet, iciclist! My diaper has more life to it! Who drowned
you in drears, man, or are you pillale with ink? Did a weep get past the
gates of your pride? My tread on the clover, sweetness? Yes, the
buttercups told me, hug me, damn it all, and I'll kiss you back to life, my
peachest. I mean to make you suffer, meddlar, and I don't care this fig
for contempt of courting. That I chid you, sweet sir? You know I'm
tender by my eye. Can't you read by dazzling ones through me true?
Bite my laughters, drink my tears. Pore into me, volumes, spell me stark
and spill me swooning. I just don't care what my thwarters think.
Transname me loveliness, now and here me for all times! I'd risk a
policeman passing by, Magrath or even that beggar of a boots at the
Post. The flame? O, pardone! That was what? Ah, did you speak,
stuffstuff? More poestries from Chickspeer's with gleechoreal music or
a jaculation from the garden of the soul. Of I be leib in the immoralities?
O, you mean the strangle for love and the sowiveall of the prettiest?
Yep, we open hap coseries in the home. And once upon a week I
improve on myself I'm so keen on that New Free Woman with novel
inside. I'm always as tickled as can be over Man in a Surplus by the
Lady who Pays the Rates. But I'm as pie as is possible. Let's root out
Brimstoker and give him the thrall of our lives. It's Dracula's nightout.
For creepsake don't make a flush! Draw the shades, curfe you, and I'll
beat any sonnamonk to love. Holy bug, how my highness would jump to
make you flame your halve a bannan in two when I'd run my burning
torchlight through (to adoreme there and then cease to be? Whatever
for, blossoms?) Your hairmejig if you had one. If I am laughing with
you? No, lovingest, I'm not so dying to take my rise out of you, adored.
Not in the very least. True as God made my Mamaw hiplength modesty
coatmawther! It's only because the rison is I'm only any girl, you lovely
fellow of my dreams, and because old somebooby is not a roundabout,
my trysting of the tulipies, like that puff pape bucking Daveran assoiling
us behinds. What a nerve! He thinks that's what the vesprey's for. How
vain's that hope in cleric's heart Who still pursues th'adult' rous art,
Cocksure that rusty gown of his Will make fair Sue forget his phiz!
Tame Schwipps. Blessed Marguerite bosses, I hope they threw away the
mould or else we'll have Ballshossers and Sourdamapplers with their
medical assassiations all over the place. But hold hard till I've got my
latchkey vote and I'll teach him when to wear what woman callours. On
account of the gloss of the gleison Hasaboobrawbees isabeaubel. And
because, you pluckless lankaloot, I hate the very thought of the thought
of you and because, dearling, of course, adorest, I was always meant for
an engindear from the French college, to be musband, nomme d'engien,
when we do and contract with encho tencho solver when you are
married to reading and writing which pleasebusiness now won't be long
for he's so loopy on me and I'm so leapy like since the day he carried me
from the boat, my saviored of eroes, to the beach and I left on his
shoulder one fair hair to guide hand and mind to its softness. Ever so
sorry! I beg your pardon, I was listening to every treasuried word I said
fell from my dear mot's tongue otherwise how could I see what you
were thinking of our granny? Only I wondered if I threw out my
shaving water. Anyway, here's my arm, pulletneck. Gracefully yours.
Move your mouth towards minth, more, preciousest, more on more! To
please me, treasure. Don't be a, I'm not going to! Sh! nothing! A cricri
somewhere! Buybuy! I'm fly! Hear, pippy, under the limes. You know
bigtree are all against gravstone. They hisshistenency. Garnd ond mand!
So chip chirp chirrup, cigolo, for the lug of Migo! The little passdoor, I
go you before, so, and you'reat my apron stage. Shy is him, dovey?
Musforget there's an audience. I have been lost, angel. Cuddle, ye divil
ye! It's our toot-a-toot. Hearhere! Sensation! Let them, their whole four
courtships! Let them, Bigbawl and his boosers' eleven makes twelve
territorials. The Old Sot's Hole that wants wide streets to commission
their noisense in, at the Mitchells v. Nicholls. Aves Selvae Acquae
Valles! And my waiting twenty classbirds, sitting on their stiles! Let me
finger their eurhythmytic. And you'll see if I'm selfthought. They're all
of them out to please. Wait! In the name of. And all the holly. And some
the mistle and it Saint Yves. Hoost! Ahem! There's Ada, Bett, Celia,
Delia, Ena, Fretta, Gilda, Hilda, Ita, Jess, Katty, Lou, (they make me
cough as sure as I read them) Mina, Nippa, Opsy, Poll, Queeniee, Ruth,
Saucy, Trix, Una, Vela, Wanda, Xenia, Yva, Zulma, Phoebe, Thelma.
And Mee! The reformatory boys is goaling in for the church so we've all
comefeast like the groupsuppers and caught lipsolution from Anty
Pravidance under penancies for myrtle sins. When their bride was
married all my belles began ti ting. A ring a ring a rosaring! Then
everyone will hear of it. Whoses wishes is the farther to my thoughts.
But I'll plant them a poser for their nomanclatter. When they're out with
the daynurse doing Chaperon Mall. Bright pigeons all over the whirrld
will fly with my mistletoe message round their loveribboned necks and
a crumb of my cake for each chasta dieva. We keeps all and sundry
papers. In th' amourlight, O my darling! No, I swear to you by
Fibsburrow churchdome and Sainte Andrée's Undershift, by all I hold
secret from my world and in my underworld of nighties and naughties
and all the other wonderwearlds! Close your, notmust look! Now open,
pet, your lips, pepette, like I used my sweet parted lipsabuss with Dan
Holohan of facetious memory taught me after the flannel dance, with
the proof of love, up Smock Alley the first night he smelled pouder and
I coloured beneath my fan, pipetta mia, when you learned me the linguo
to melt. Whowham would have ears like ours, the blackhaired! Do you
like that, silenzioso? Are you enjoying, this same little me, my life, my
love? Why do you like mywhisping? Is it not divinely deluscious? But
in't it bafforyou? Misi misi! Tell me till my thrillme comes! I will not
break the seal. I am enjoying it still, I swear I am! Why do you prefer its
in these dark nets, if why may ask, my sweetykins? Sh sh! Longears is
flying. No, sweetissest, why would that ennoy me? But don't! You want
to be slap well slapped for that. Your delighted lips, love, be careful!
Mind my duvetyne dress above all! It's golded silvy, the newest
sextones with princess effect. For Rutland blue's got out of passion. So,
so, my precious! O, I can see the cost, chare! Don't tell me! Why, the
boy in sheeps' lane knows that. If I sell whose, dears? Was I sold here'
tears? You mean those conversation lozenges? How awful! The bold
shame of me! I wouldn't, chickens, not for all the juliettes in the twinkly
way! I could snap them when I see them winking at me in bed. I didn't
did so, my intended, or was going to or thinking of. Shshsh! Don't start
like that, you wretch! I thought ye knew all and more, ye aucthor, to
explique to ones the significat of their exsystems with your nieu nivulon
lead. It's only another queer fish or other in Brinbrou's damned old
trouchorous river again, Gothewishegoths bless us and spare her! And
gibos rest from the bosso! Excuse me for swearing, love, I swear to the
sorrasims on their trons of Uian I didn't mean to by this alpin armlet!
Did you really never in all our cantalang lives speak clothse to a girl's
before? No! Not even to the charmermaid? How marfellows! Of course
I believe you, my own dear doting liest, when you tell me. As I'd live to,
O, I'd love to! Liss, liss! I muss whiss! Never that ever or I can
remember dearstreaming faces, you may go through me! Never in all
my whole white life of my matchless and pair. Or ever for bitter be the
frucht of this hour! With my whiteness I thee woo and bind my silk
breasths I thee bound! Always, Amory, amor andmore! Till always,
thou lovest! Shshshsh! So long as the lucksmith. Laughs!

    11. If you met on the binge a poor acheseyeld from Ailing, when the
tune of his tremble shook shimmy on shin, while his countrary raged in
the weak of his wailing, like a rugilant pugilant Lyon O'Lynn; if he
maundered in misliness, plaining hisplight or, played fox and lice,
pricking and dropping hips teeth, or wringing his handcuffs for peace,
the blind blighter, praying Dieuf and Domb Nostrums foh thomethinks
to eath; if he weapt while he leapt and guffalled quith a quhimper, made
cold blood a blue mundy and no bones without flech, taking kiss, kake
or kick with a suck, sigh or simper, a diffle to larn and a dibble to lech;
if the fain shinner pegged you to shave his immartial, wee skillmustered
shoul with his ooh, hoodoodoo! broking wind that to wiles, woemaid sin
he was partial, we don't think, Jones, we'd care to this evening, would
you?

    Answer: No, blank ye! So you think I have impulsivism? Did they
tell you I am one of the fortysixths? And I suppose you heard I had a
wag on my ears? And I suppose they told you too that my roll of life is
not natural? But before proceeding to conclusively confute this begging
question it would be far fitter for you, if you dare! to hasitate to consult
with and consequentially attempt at my disposale of the same dime-cash
problem elsewhere naturalistically of course, from the blinkpoint of so
eminent a spatialist. From it you will here notice, Schott, upon my for
the first remarking you that the sophology of Bitchson while driven as
under by a purely dime-dime urge is not without his cashcash
characktericksticks, borrowed for its nonce ends from the fiery
goodmother Miss Fortune (who the lost time we had the pleasure we
have had our little recherché brush with, what, Schott?) and as I further
could have told you as brisk as your D.B.C. behaviouristically pailleté
with a coat of homoid icing which is in reality only a done by chance
ridiculisation of the whoo-whoo and where's hairs theorics of Winestain.
To put it all the more plumbsily. The speechform is a mere sorrogate.
Whilst the quality and tality (I shall explex what you ought to mean by
this with its proper when and where and why and how in the subsequent
sentence) are alternativomentally harrogate and arrogate, as the gates
may be.

    Talis is a word often abused by many passims (I am working out a
quantum theory about it for it is really most tantumising state of affairs).
A pessim may frequent you to say: Have you beenseeing much of Talis
and Talis those times? optimately meaning: Will you put up at hree of
irish? Or a ladyeater may perhaps have casualised as you temptoed her à
la sourdine: Of your plates? Is Talis de Talis, the swordswallower, who
is on at the Craterium the same Talis von Talis, the penscrusher, no funk
you! who runs his duly mile? Or this is a perhaps cleaner example. At a
recent postvortex piece infustigation of a determinised case of chronic
spinosis an extension lecturer on The Ague who out of matter of form
was trying his seesers, Dr's Het Ubeleeft, borrowed the question: Why's
which Suchman's talis qualis? to whom, as a fatter of macht, Dr
Gedankje of Stoutgirth, who was wiping his whistle, toarsely retoarted:
While thou beast' one zoom of a whorl! (Talis and Talis originally mean
the same thing, hit it's: Qualis.)

    Professor Loewy-Brueller (though as I shall promptly prove his
whole account of the Sennacherib as distinct from the Shalmanesir
sanitational reforms and of the Mr Skekels and Dr Hydes problem in the
same connection differs toto coelo from the fruit of my own
investigations — though the reason I went to Jericho must remain for
certain reasons a political secret — especially as I shall shortly be
wanted in Cavantry, I congratulate myself, for the same and other
reasons — as being again hopelessly vitiated by what I have now
resolved to call the dime and cash diamond fallacy) in his talked off
confession which recently met with such a leonine uproar on its escape
after its confinement Why am I not born like a Gentileman and why am I
now so speakable about my own eatables (Feigenbaumblatt and Father,
Judapest, 5688, A.M.) whole-heartedly takes off his gabbercoat and
wig, honest draughty fellow, in his public interest, to make us see how
though, as he says: 'by Allswill' the inception and the descent and the
endswell of Man is temporarily wrapped in obscenity, looking through
at these accidents with the faroscope of television, (this nightlife
instrument needs still some subtractional betterment in the readjustment
of the more refrangible angles to the squeals of his hypothesis on the
outer tin sides), I can easily believe heartily in my own most spacious
immensityas my ownhouse and microbemost cosm when I am reassured
by ratio that the cube of my volumes is to the surfaces of their subjects
as the sphericity of these globes (I am very pressing for a parliamentary
motion this term which, under my guidance, would establish the
deleteriousness of decorousness in the morbidisation of the modern
mandaboutwoman type) is to the feracity of Fairynelly's vacuum. I need
not anthrapologise for any obintentional (I must here correct all that
school of neoitalian or paleoparisien schola of tinkers and spanglers
who say I'm wrong parcequeue out of revolscian from romanitis I want
to be) downtrodding on my foes. Professor Levi-Brullo, F.D. of
SexeWeiman-Eitelnaky finds, from experiments made by hinn with his
Nuremberg eggs in the one hands and the watches cunldron apan the
oven, though it is astensably a case of Ket's rebollions cooling the Popes
back, because the number of squeer faiths in weekly circulation will not
be appreciably augmented by the notherslogging of my cupolar clods.
What the romantic in rags pines after like all tomtompions haunting
crevices for a deadbeat escupement and what het importunes our Mitleid
for in accornish with the Mortadarthella taradition is the poorest
commononguardiant waste of time. His everpresent toes are always in
retaliessian out throuth his overpast boots. Hear him squak! Teek heet to
that looswallawer how he bolo the bat! Tyro a toray! When Mullocky
won the couple of colds, when we were stripping in number three, I
would like the neat drop that would malt in my mouth but I fail to see
when (I am purposely refraining from expounding the obvious fallacy as
to the specific gravitates of the two deglutables implied nor to the lapses
lequou asousiated with the royal gorge through students of mixed
hydrostatics and pneumodipsics will after some difficulties grapple
away with my meinungs). Myrrdin aloer! as old Marsellas Cambriannus
puts his. But, on Professor Llewellys ap Bryllars, F.D., Ph. Dr's
showings, the plea, if he pleads, is all posh and robbage on a
melodeontic scale since his man's when is no otherman's quandour
(Mine, dank you?) while, for aught I care for the contrary, the all is
where in love as war andthe plane where me arts soar you'd aisy rouse a
thunder from and where I cling true'tis there I climb tree and where
Innocent looks best (pick!) there's holly in his ives.

    As my explanations here are probably above your understandings,
lattlebrattons, though as augmentatively uncomparisoned as Cadwan,
Cadwallon and Cadwalloner, I shall revert to a more expletive method
which I frequently use when I have to sermo with muddlecrass pupils.
Imagine for my purpose that you are a squad of urchins, snifflynosed,
goslingnecked, clothyheaded, tangled in your lacings, tingled in your
pants, etsitaraw etcicero. And you, Bruno Nowlan, take your tongue out
of your inkpot! As none of you knows javanese I will give all my
easyfree translation of the old fabulist's parable. Allaboy Minor, take
your head out of your satchel! Audi, Joe Peters! Exaudi facts!

    The Mookse and The Gripes.

    Gentes and laitymen, fullstoppers and semicolonials, hybreds and
lubberds!

    Eins within a space and a wearywide space it wast ere wohned a
Mookse. The onesomeness wast alltolonely, archunsitslike, broady oval,
and a Mookse he would a walking go (My hood! cries Antony Romeo),
so one grandsumer evening, after a great morning and his good supper
of gammon and spittish, having flabelled his eyes, pilleoled his nostrils,
vacticanated his ears and palliumed his throats, he put on his
impermeable, seized his impugnable, harped on his crown and stepped
out of his immobile De Rure Albo (socolled becauld it was chalkfull of
masterplasters and had borgeously letout gardens strown with cascadas,
pintacostecas, horthoducts and currycombs) and set off from Ludstown
a spasso to see how badness was badness in the weirdest of all pensible
ways.

    As he set off with his father's sword, his lancia spezzata, he was
girded on, and with that between his legs and his tarkeels, our once in
only Bragspear, he clanked, to my clinking, from veetoes to threetop,
every inch of an immortal.

    He had not walked over a pentiadpair of parsecs from his azylium
when at the turning of the Shinshone Lanteran nearSaint Bowery's-
without-his-Walls he came (secunding to the one one oneth of the
propecies, Amnis Limina Permanent) upon the most unconsciously
boggylooking stream he ever locked his eyes with. Out of the colliens it
took a rise by daubing itself Ninon. It looked little and it smelt of brown
and it thought in narrows and it talked showshallow. And as it rinn it
dribbled like any lively purliteasy: My, my, my! Me and me! Little down
dream don't I love thee!

    And, I declare, what was there on the yonder bank of the stream that
would be a river, parched on a limb of the olum, bolt downright, but the
Gripes? And no doubt he was fit to be dried for why had he not been
having the juice of his times?

    His pips had been neatly all drowned on him; his polps were
charging odours every older minute; he was quickly for getting the
dresser's desdaign on the flyleaf of his frons; and he was quietly for
giving the bailiff's distrain on to the bulkside of his cul de Pompe. In all
his specious heavings, as be lived by Optimus Maximus, the Mookse
had never seen his Dubville brooderon-low so nigh to a pickle.

    Adrian (that was the Mookse now's assumptinome) stuccstill phiz-á-
phiz to the Gripes in an accessit of aurignacian. But Allmookse must to
Moodend much as Allrouts, austereways or wastersways, in roaming
run through Room. Hic sor a stone, singularly illud, and on hoc stone
Seter satt huc sate which it filled quite poposterously and by
acclammitation to its fullest justotoryum and whereopum with his
unfallable encyclicling upom his alloilable, diupetriark of the wouest,
and the athemystsprinkled pederect he always walked with, Deusdedit,
cheek by jowel with his frisherman's blague, Bellua Triumphanes, his
everyway addedto wallat's collectium, for yea longer he lieved yea
broader he betaught of it, the fetter, the summe and the haul it cost, he
looked the first and last micahlike laicness of Quartus the Fifth and
Quintus the Sixth and Sixtus the Seventh giving allnight sitting to Lio
the Faultyfindth.

    — Good appetite us, sir Mookse! How do you do it? cheeped the
Gripes in a wherry whiggy maudelenian woice and the jack asses all
within bawl laughed and brayed for his intentions for they knew their
sly toad lowry now. I am rarumominum blessed to see you, my dear
mouster. Will you not perhopes tell me everything if you are pleased,
sanity? All about aulne and lithial and allsall allinall about awn and
liseias? Ney?

    Think of it! O miserendissimest retempter! A Gripes!
    — Rats! bullowed the Mookse most telesphorously, the
concionator, and the sissymusses and the zozzymusses in their
robenhauses quailed to hear his tardeynois at all for you cannot wake a
silken nouse out of a hoarse oar. Blast yourself and your anathomy
infairioriboos! No, hang you for an animal rurale! I am superbly in my
supremest poncif! Abase you, baldyqueens! Gather behind me, satraps!
Rots!

    — I am till infinity obliged with you, bowed the Gripes, his whine
having gone to his palpruy head. I am still always having a wish on all
my extremities. By the watch, what is the time, pace?

    Figure it! The pining peever! To a Mookse!

    — Ask my index, mund my achilles, swell my obolum, woshup my
nase serene, answered the Mookse, rapidly by turning clement, urban,
eugenious and celestian in the formose of good grogory humours. Quote
awhore? That is quite about what I came on my missions with my
intentions laudibiliter to settle with you, barbarousse. Let thor be orlog.
Let Pauline be Irene. Let you be Beeton. And let me be Los Angeles.
Now measure your length. Now estimate my capacity. Well, sour? Is
this space of our couple of hours too dimensional for you, temporiser?
Will you give you up? Como? Fuert it?

    Sancta Patientia! You should have heard the voice that answered
him! Culla vosellina.

    — I was just thinkling upon that, swees Mooksey, but, for all the
rime on my raisins, if I connow make my submission, I cannos give you
up, the Gripes whimpered from nethermost of his wanhope.
Ishallassoboundbewilsothoutoosezit. My tumble, loudy bullocker, is my
own. My velicity is too fit in one stockend. And my spetial inexshellsis
the belowing things ab ove. But I will never be abler to tell Your
Honoriousness (here he near losthis limb) though my corked father was
bott a pseudowaiter, whose o'cloak you ware.

    Incredible! Well, hear the inevitable.

    —          Your         temple,          sus        in         cribro!
Semperexcommunicambiambisumers.              Tugurios-in-Newrobe       or
Tukurias-in-Ashies. Novarome, my creature, blievend bleives. My
building space in lyonine city is always to let to leonlike Men, the
Mookse in a most consistorous allocution pompifically with immediate
jurisdiction constantinently concludded (what a crammer for the
shapewrucked Gripes!). And I regret to proclaim that it is out of my
temporal to help you from being killed by inchies, (what a thrust!), as
we first met each other newwhere so airly. (Poor little sowsieved
subsquashed Gripes! I begin to feel contemption for him!). My side,
thank decretals, is as safe as motherour's houses, he continued, and I can
seen from my holeydome what it is to be wholly sane. Unionjok and be
joined to yok! Parysis, tu sais, crucycrooks, belongs to him who parises
himself. And there I must leave you subject for the pressing. I can prove
that against you, weight a momentum, mein goot enemy! or Cospol's
not our star. I bet you this dozen odd. This foluminous dozen odd. Quas
primas — but 'tis bitter to compote my knowledge's fructos of. Tomes.
    Elevating, to give peint to his blick, his jewelled pederect to the
allmysty cielung, he luckystruck blueild out of a few shouldbe
santillants, a cloister of starabouts over Maples, a lucciolys in Teresa
street and a stopsign before Sophy Barratt's, he gaddered togodder the
odds docence of his vellumes, gresk, letton and russicruxian, onto the
lapse of his prolegs, into umfullth onescuppered, and sat about his
widerproof. He proved it well whoonearth dry and drysick times, and
vremiament, tu cesses, to the extinction of Niklaus altogether (Niklaus
Alopysius having been the once Gripes's popwilled nimbum) by
Neuclidius and Inexagoras and Mumfsen and Thumpsem, by Orasmus
and by Amenius, by Anacletus the Jew and by Malachy the Augurer and
by the Cappon's collection and after that, with Cheekee's gelatine and
Alldaybrandy's formolon, he reproved it ehrltogetherwhen not in that
order sundering in some different order, alter three thirty and a hundred
times by the binomial dioram and the penic walls and the ind, the
Inklespill legends and the rure, the rule of the hoop and the blessons of
expedience and the jus, the jugicants of Pontius Pilax and all the
mummyscrips in Sick Bokes' Juncroom and the Chapters for the
Cunning of the Chapters of the Conning Fox by Tail.

    While that Mooksius with preprocession and with proprecession,
duplicitly and diplussedly, was promulgating ipsofacts and sadcontras
this raskolly Gripos he had allbust seceded in monophysicking his
illsobordunates. But asawfulas he had caught his base semenoyous
sarchnaktiers to combuccinate upon the silipses of his aspillouts and the
acheporeoozers of his haggyown pneumax to synerethetise with the
breadchestviousness of his sweeatovular ducose sofarfully the
loggerthuds of his sakellaries were fond at variance with the synodals of
his somepooliom and his babskissed nepogreasymost got the hoof from
his philioquus.

    — Efter thousand yaws, O Gripes con my sheepskins, yow will be
belined to the world, enscayed Mookse the pius.

    — Ofter thousand yores, amsered Gripes the gregary, be the goat of
MacHammud's, yours may be still, O Mookse, more botheared.

    — Us shall be chosen as the first of the last by the electress of Vale
Hollow, obselved the Mookse nobily, for par the unicum of Elelijiacks,
Us am in Our stabulary and that is what Ruby and Roby fall for, blissim.

    The Pills, the Nasal Wash (Yardly's), the Army Man Cut, as british
as bondstrict and as straightcut as when that brokenarched traveller from
Nuzuland . . .

    — Wee, cumfused the Gripes limply, shall not even be the last of
the first, wee hope, when oust are visitated by the Veiled Horror. And,
he added: Mee are relying entirely, see the fortethurd of Elissabed, on
the weightiness of mear's breath. Puffut!

    Unsightbared embouscher, relentless foe to social and business
succes! (Hourihaleine) It might have been a happy evening but . . .

    And they viterberated each other, canis et coluber with the wildest
ever wielded since Tarriestinus lashed Pissasphaltium.
    — Unuchorn!

    — Ungulant!

    — Uvuloid!

    — Uskybeak!

    And bullfolly answered volleyball.

    Nuvoletta in her lightdress, spunn of sisteen shimmers, was looking
down on them, leaning over the bannistars and listening all she
childishly could. How she was brightened when Shouldrups in his
glaubering hochskied his welkinstuck and how she was overclused
when Kneesknobs on his zwivvel was makeacting such a paulse of
himshelp! She was alone. All her nubied companions were asleeping
with the squirrels. Their mivver, Mrs Moonan, was off in the Fuerst
quarter scrubbing the backsteps of Number 28. Fuvver, that Skand, he
was up in Norwood's sokaparlour, eating oceans of Voking's Blemish.
Nuvoletta listened as she reflected herself, though the heavenly one with
his constellatria and his emanations stood between, and she tried all she
tried to make the Mookse look up at her (but he was fore too
adiaptotously farseeing) and to make the Gripes hear how coy she could
be (though he was much too schystimatically auricular about his ens to
heed her) but it was all mild's vapour moist. Not even her feignt
reflection, Nuvoluccia, could they toke their gnoses off for their minds
with intrepifide fate and bungless curiasity, were conclaved with
Heliogobbleus and Commodus and Enobarbarus and whatever the
coordinal dickens they did as their damprauch of papyrs and buchstubs
said. As if that was their spiration! As if theirs could duiparate her
queendim! As if she would be third perty to search on search
proceedings! She tried all the winsome wonsome ways her four winds
had taught her. She tossed her sfumastelliacinous hair like la princesse
de la Petite Bretagne and she rounded her mignons arms like Mrs
Cornwallis-West and she smiled over herself like the beauty of the
image of the pose of the daughter of the queen of the Emperour of
Irelande and she sighed after herself as were she bornto bride with
Tristis Tristior Tristissimus. But, sweet madonine, she might fair as well
have carried her daisy's worth to Florida. For the Mookse, a dogmad
Accanite, were not amoosed and the Gripes, a dubliboused Catalick, wis
pinefully obliviscent.

    — I see, she sighed. There are menner.

    The siss of the whisp of the sigh of the softzing at the stir of the ver
grose O arundo of a long one in midias reeds: and shades began to
glidder along the banks, greepsing, greepsing, duusk unto duusk, and it
was as glooming as gloaming could be in the waste of all peacable
worlds. Metamnisia was allsoonome coloroform brune; citherior spiane
an eaulande, innemorous and unnumerose. The Mookse had a sound
eyes right but he could not all hear. The Gripes had light ears left yet he
could but ill see. He ceased. And he ceased, tung and trit, and it was
neversoever so dusk of both of them. But still Moo thought on the deeps
of the undths he would profoundth come the morrokse and still Gri
feeled of the scripes he would escipe if by grice he had luck enoupes.
    Oh, how it was duusk! From Vallee Maraia to Grasyaplaina,
dormimust echo! Ah dew! Ah dew! It was so duusk that the tears of
night began to fall, first by ones and twos, then by threes and fours, at
last by fives and sixes of sevens, for the tired ones were wecking, as we
weep now with them. O! O! O! Par la pluie!

    Then there came down to the thither bank a woman of no
appearance (I believe she was a Black with chills at her feet) and she
gathered up his hoariness the Mookse motamourfully where he was
spread and carried him away to her invisible dwelling, thats hights,
Aquila Rapax, for he was the holy sacred solem and poshup spit of her
boshop's apron. So you see the Mookse he had reason as I knew and you
knew and he knew all along. And there came down to the hither bank a
woman to all important (though they say that she was comely, spite the
cold in her heed) and, for he was as like it as blow it to a hawker's hank,
she plucked down the Gripes, torn panicky autotone, in angeu from his
limb and cariad away its beotitubes with her to her unseenshieling, it is,
De Rore Coeli. And so the poor Gripes got wrong; for that is always
how a Gripes is, always was and always will be. And it was never so
thoughtful of either of them. And there were left now an only elmtree
and but a stone. Polled with pietrous, Sierre but saule. O! Yes! And
Nuvoletta, a lass.

    Then Nuvoletta reflected for the last time in her little long life and
she made up all her myriads of drifting minds in one. She cancelled all
her engauzements. She climbed over the bannistars; she gave a childy
cloudy cry: Nuée! Nuée! A lightdress fluttered. She was gone. And into
the river that had been a stream (for a thousand of tears had gone eon
her and come on her and she was stout and struck on dancing and her
muddied name was Missisliffi) there fell a tear, a singult tear, the
loveliest of all tears (I mean for those crylove fables fans who are 'keen'
on the prettypretty commonface sort of thing you meet by hopeharrods)
for it was a leaptear. But the river tripped on her by and by, lapping as
though her heart was brook: Why, why, why! Weh, O weh I'se so silly to
be flowing but I no canna stay!

    No applause, please! Bast! The romescot nattleshaker will go round
your circulation in diu dursus.

    Allaboy, Major, I'll take your reactions in another place after
themes. Nolan Browne, you may now leave the classroom. Joe Peters,
Fox.

    As I have now successfully explained to you my own naturalborn
rations which are even in excise of my vaultybrain insure me that I am a
mouth's more deserving case by genius. I feel in symbathos for my ever
devoted friend and halfaloafonwashed, Gnaccus Gnoccovitch. Darling
gem! Darling smallfox! Horoseshoew! I could love that man like my
own ambo for being so baileycliaver though he's a nawful curillass and I
must slav to methodiousness. I want him to go and live like a theabild in
charge of the night brigade on Tristan da Cunha, isle of manoverboard,
where he'll make Number 106 and be near Inaccessible. (The meeting of
mahoganies, be the waves, rementious me that this exposed sight though
it pines for an umbrella of its own and needs a shelter belt of the true
service sort to keep itsboles clean, — the weeping beeches, Picea and
Tillia, are in a wild state about it — ought to be classified, as
Cricketbutt Willowm and his two nurserymen advisers suggested, under
genus Inexhaustible when we refloat upon all the butternat, sweet gum
and manna ash redcedera which is so purvulent there as if there was
howthorns in Curraghchasa which ought to look as plane as a lodgepole
to anybody until we are introduced to that pinetacotta of Verney Rubeus
where the deodarty is pinctured for us in a pure stand, which we do not
doubt ha has a habitat of doing, but without those selfsownseedlings
which are a species of proof that the largest individual can occur at or in
an olivetion such as East Conna Hillock where it mixes with foolth
accacians and common sallies and is tender) Vux Populus, as we say in
hickoryhockery and I wish we had some more glasses of arbor vitae.
Why roat by the roadside or awn over alum pot? Alderman Whitebeaver
is dakyo. He ought to go away for a change of ideas and he'd have a
world of things to look back on. Do, sweet Daniel! If I weren't a jones in
myself I'd elect myself to be his dolphin in the wildsbillow because he is
such a barefooted rubber with my supersocks pulled over his face which
I publicked in my bestback garden for the laetification of siderodromites
and to the irony of the stars. You will say it is most unenglish and I shall
hope to hear that you will not be wrong about it. But I further, feeling a
bit husky in my truths.
    Will you please come over and let us mooremoore murgessly to
each's other down below our vices. I am underheerd by old billfaust.
Wilsh is full of curks. The coolskittle is philip deblinite. Mr Wist is
thereover beyeind the wantnot. Wilsh and wist are as thick of thins
udder as faust on the deblinite. Sgunoshooto estas preter la tapizo
malgranda. Lilegas al si en sia chambro. Kelkefoje funcktas, kelkefoje
srumpas Shultroj. Houdian Kiel vi fartas, mia nigra sinjoro? And from
the poignt of fun where I am crying to arrive you at they are on allfore
as foibleminded as you can feel they are fablebodied.

    My heeders will recoil with a great leisure how at the outbreak
before trespassing on the space question where evenmichelangelines
have fooled to dread I proved to mindself as to your sotisfiction how his
abject all through (the quickquid of Professor Ciondolone's too
frequently hypothecated Bettlermensch) is nothing so much more than a
mere cashdime however genteel he may want ours, if we please (I am
speaking to us in the second person), for to this graded intellecktuals
dime is cash and the cash system (you must not be allowed to forget that
this is all contained, I mean the system, in the dogmarks of origen on
spurios) means that I cannot now have or nothave a piece of cheeps in
your pocket at the same time and with the same manners as you can
now nothalf or half the cheek apiece I've in mind unless Burrus and
Caseous have not or not have seemaultaneously sysentangled
themselves, selldear to soldthere, once in the dairy days of buy and buy.
    Burrus, let us like to imagine, is a genuine prime, the real choice,
full of natural greace, the mildest of milkstoffs yet unbeaten as a risicide
and, of course, obsoletely unadulterous whereat Caseous is obversely
the revise of him and in fact not an ideal choose by any meals, though
the betterman of the two is meltingly addicted to the more casual side of
the arrivaliste case and, let me say it at once, as zealous over him as is
passably he. The seemsame home and histry seeks and hidepence which
we used to be reading for our prepurgatory, hot, Schott? till Duddy shut
the shopper op and Mutti, poor Mutti! brought us our poor suppy, (ah
who! eh how!) in Acetius and Oleosus and Sellius Volatilis and Petrus
Papricus! Our Old Party quite united round the Slatbowel at Commons:
Pfarrer Salamoss himself and that sprog of a Pedersill and his Sprig of
Thyme and a dozen of the Murphybuds and a score and more of the hot
young Capels and Lettucia in her greensleeves and you too and me
three, twinsome bibs but hansome ates, like shakespill and eggs! But
there's many a split pretext bowl and jowl; and (snob screwing that cork,
Schott!) to understand this as well as you can, feeling how backward
you are in your down-to-the-ground benches, I have completed the
following arrangement for the coarse use of stools and if I don't make
away with you I'm beyond Caesar outnullused.

    The older sisars (Tyrants, regicide is too good for you!) become
unbeurrable from age, (the compositor of the farce of dustiny however
makes a thunpledrum mistake by letting off this pienofarte effect as his
furst act as that is where the juke comes in) having been sort-of-
nineknived and chewly removed (this soldier - author - batman for all
his commontoryism is just another of those souftsiezed bubbles who
never quite got the sandhurst out of his eyes so that the champaign he
draws for us is as flop as a plankrieg) the twinfreer types are billed to
make their reupprearance as the knew kneck and knife knickknots on
the deserted champ de bouteilles. (A most cursery reading into the
Persic-Uraliens hostery shows us how Fonnumagula picked up that
propper numen out of a colluction of prifixes though to the permienting
cannasure the Coucousien oafsprung of this sun of a kuk is as sattin as
there's a tub in Tobolosk) Ostiak della Vogul Marina! But that I dannoy
the fact of wanton to weste point I could paint you to that butter (cheese
it!) if you had some wash. Mordvealive! Oh me none onsens! Why the
case is as inessive and impossive as kezom hands! Their interlocative is
conprovocative just as every hazzy hates to having a hazbane in her
noze. Caseous may bethink himself a thought of a caviller but Burrus
has the reachly roundered head that goes best with thofthinking
defensive fideism. He has the lac of wisdom under every dent in his
lofter while the other follow's onni vesy milky indeedmymy. Laughing
over the linnuts and weeping off the uniun. He hisn't the hey og he lisn't
the lug, poohoo. And each night sim misses mand he winks he had the
semagen. It was aptly and corrigidly stated (and, it is royally needless
for one ex ungue Leonem to say by whom) that his seeingscraft was that
clarety as were the wholeborough of Poutresbourg to be averlaunched
over him pitchbatch he could still make out with his augstritch the green
moat in Ireland's Eye. Let me sell you the fulltroth of Burrus when he
wore a younker. Here it is, and chorming too, in six by sevens! A
cleanly line, by the gods! A king off duty and a jaw for ever! And what
a cheery ripe outlook, good help me Deus v Deus! If I were to speakmy
ohole mouthful to arinam about it you should call me the ormuzd
aliment in your midst of faime. Eat ye up, heat ye up! sings the somun
in the salm. Butyrum et mel comedet ut sciat reprobare malum et eligere
bonum. This, of course, also explains why we were taught to play in the
childhood: Der Haensli ist ein Butterbrot, mein Butterbrot! Und Koebi
iss dein Schtinkenkot! Ja! Ja! Ja!

    This in fact, just to show you, is Caseous, the brutherscutch or puir
tyron: a hole or two, the highstinks aforefelt and anygo prigging wurms.
Cheesugh! you complain. And Hi Hi High must say you are not Hoa
Hoa Hoally in the wrong!

    Thus we cannot escape our likes and mislikes, exiles or ambusheers,
beggar and neighbour and — this is where the dimeshow advertisers
advance the temporal relief plea — let us be tolerant of antipathies. Nex
quovis burro num fit mercaseus? I am not hereby giving my final
endorsement to the learned ignorants of the Cusanus philosophism in
which old Nicholas pegs it down that the smarter the spin of the top the
sounder the span of the buttom (what the worthy old auberginiste ought
to have meant was: the more stolidly immobile in space appears to me
the bottom which is presented to use in time by the top primomobilisk
&c.). And I shall be misunderstord if understood to give an
unconditional sinequam to the heroicised furibouts of the Nolanus
theory, or, at any rate, of that substrate of apart from hissheory where
the Theophil swoors that on principial he was the pointing start of his
odiose by comparison and that whiles eggs will fall cheapened all over
the walled the Bure will be dear on the Brie.

    Now, while I am not out now to be taken up as unintentionally
recommending the Silkebjorg tyrondynamon machine for the more
economical helixtrolysis of these amboadipates until I can find space to
look into it myself a little more closely first I shall go on with my
decisions after having shown to you in good time how both products of
our social stomach (the excellent Dr Burroman, I noticed by the way
from his emended food theory, has been carefully digesting the very
wholesome criticismI helped him to in my princeps edition which is all
so munch to the cud) are mutuearly polarised the incompatabilily of any
delusional acting as ambivalent to the fixation of his pivotism. Positing,
as above, too males pooles, the one the pictor of the other and the omber
the Skotia of the one, and looking wantingly around our undistributed
middle between males we feel we must waistfully woent a female to
focus and on this stage there pleasantly appears the cowrymaid M.
whom we shall often meet below who introduces herself upon us at
some precise hour which we shall again agree to call absolute zero or
the babbling pumpt of platinism. And so like that former son of a kish
who went up and out to found his farmer's ashes we come down home
gently on our own turnedabout asses to meet Margareen.
    We now romp through a period of pure lyricism of shamebred
music (technologically, let me say, the appetising entry of this subject
on a fool chest of vialds is plumply pudding the carp before doevre
hors) evidenced by such words in distress as I cream for thee, Sweet
Margareen, and the more hopeful O Margareena! O Margareena! Still
in the bowl is left a lump of gold! (Correspondents, by the way, will
keep on asking me what is the correct garnish to serve drisheens with.
Tansy Sauce. Enough). The pawnbreaking pathos of the first of these
shoddy pieces reveals it as a Caseous effort. Burrus's bit is often used
for a toast. Criniculture can tell us very precisely indeed how and why
this particular streak of yellow silver first appeared on (not in) the
bowel, that is to see, the human head, bald, black, bronze, brown,
brindled, betteraved or blanchemanged where it might be usefully
compared with an earwig on a fullbottom. I am offering this to
Signorina Cuticura and I intend to take it up and bring it under the
nosetice of Herr Harlene by way of diverting his attentions. Of course
the unskilled singer continues to pervert our wiser ears by subordinating
the space-element, that is to sing, the aria, to the time-factor, which
ought to be killed, ill tempor. I should advise any unborn singer who
may still be among my heeders to forget her temporal diaphragm at
home(the best thing that could happen to it!) and attack the roulade with
a swift colpo di glottide to the lug (though Maace I will insist was
reclined from overdoing this, his recovery often being slow) and then,
O! on the third dead beat, O! to cluse her eyes and aiopen her oath and
see what spice I may send her. How? Cease thee, cantatrickee! I fain
would be solo. Arouse thee, my valour! And save for e'er my true Bdur!

   I shall have a word to say in a few yards about the acoustic and
orchidectural management of the tonehall but, as ours is a vivarious
where one plant's breaf is a lunger planner's byscent and you may not
care for argon, it will be very convenient for me for the emolument to
pursue Burrus and Caseous for a rung or two up their isocelating
biangle. Every admirer has seen my goulache of Marge (she is so like
the sister, you don't know, and they both dress A L I K E !) which I
titled The Very Picture of a Needlesswoman which in the presence
ornates our national cruetstand. This genre of portraiture of changes of
mind in order to be truly torse should evoke the bush soul of females so
I am leaving it to the experienced victim to complete the general
suggestion by the mental addition of a wallopy bound or, should the
zulugical zealot prefer it, a congorool teal. The hatboxes which
composed Rhomba, lady Trabezond (Marge in her excelsis), also
comprised the climactogram up which B and C may fondly be imagined
ascending and are suggestive of gentlemen's spring modes, these modes
carrying us back to the superimposed claylayers of eocene and
pleastoseen formation and the gradual morphological changes in our
body politic which Professor Ebahi-Ahuri of Philadespoinis (Ill) —
whose bluebutterbust I have just given his coupe de grass to — neatly
names a boîte à surprises. The boxes, if I may break the subject gently,
are worth about fourpence pourbox but I am inventing a more patent
process, foolproof and pryperfect (I should like to ask that Shedlock
Homes person who is out for removing the roofs of our criminal classics
by what deductio ad domunum he hopes de tacto to detect anything
unless he happens of himself, movibile tectu, to have a slade off) after
which they can be reduced to a fragment of theirtrue crust by even the
youngest of Margees if she will take plase to be seated and smile if I
please.

    Now there can be no question about it either that I having done as
much, have quite got the size of that demilitery young female (we will
continue to call her Marge) whose types may be met with in any public
garden, wearing a very "dressy" affair, known as an "ethel" of instep
length and with a real fur, reduced to 3/9, and muffin cap to tone (they
are "angelskin" this fall), ostentatiously hemming apologetically over
the shirtness of some "sweet" garment, when she is not sitting on all the
free benches avidously reading about "it" but ovidently on the look out
for "him" or so "thrilled" about the best dressed dolly pram and
beautiful elbow competition or at the movies swallowing sobs and
blowing bixed mixcuits over "childe" chaplain's "latest" or on the verge
of the gutter with some bobbedhair brieffrocked babyma's toddler (the
Smythe-Smythes now keep TWO domestics and aspire to THREE male
ones, a shover, a butlegger and a sectary) held hostage at armslength,
teaching His Infant Majesty how to make waters worse.

    (I am closely watching Master Pules, as I have regions to suspect
from my post that her "little man" is a secondary schoolteacher under
the boards of education, a voted disciple of Infantulus who is being
utilised thus publicly by the seducente infanta to conceal her own more
mascular personality by flaunting frivolish finery over men's inside
clothes, for the femininny of that totamulier will always lack the
musculink of a verumvirum. My solotions for the proper parturience of
matres and the education of micturious mites must stand over from the
moment till I tackle this tickler hussy for occupying my uttentions.)

    Margareena she's very fond of Burrus but, alick and alack! she velly
fond of chee. (The important influence exercised on everything by this
eastasian import has not been till now fully flavoured though we can
comfortably taste it in this case. I shall come back for a little more say
farther on.) A cleopatrician in her own right she at once complicates the
position while Burrus and Caseous are contending for her misstery by
implicating her self with an elusive Antonius, a wop who would appear
to hug a personal interest in refined chees of all chades at the same time
as he wags an antomine art of being rude like the boor. This Antonius-
Burrus-Caseous grouptriad may be said to equate the qualis equivalent
with the older socalled talis on talis one just as quantly as in the
hyperchemical economantarchy the tantum ergons irruminate the
quantum urge so that eggs is to whey as whay is to zeed like your
golfchild's abe boob caddy. And this is why any simple philadolphus of
a fool you like to dress, an athemisthued lowtownian, exlegged
phatrisight, may be awfully green to one side of him and fruitfully blue
on the other which will not screen him however from appealing to my
gropesarching eyes, through the strongholes of my acropoll, as a
boosted blasted bleating blatant bloaten blasphorus blesphorous idiot
who kennot tail a bomb from a painapple when he steals one and
wannot psing his psalmen with the cong in our gregational pompoms
with the canting crew.

    No! Topsman to your Tarpeia! This thing, Mister Abby, is nefand.
(And, taking off soutstuffs and alkalike matters, I hope we can kill time
to reach the salt because there's some forceglass neutric assets bittering
in the soldpewter for you to plump your pottage in). The thundering
legion has stormed Olymp that it end. Twelve tabular times till now
have I edicted it. Merus Genius to Careous Caseous! Moriture, te
salutat! My phemous themis race is run, so let Demoncracy take the
highmost! (Abraham Tripier. Those old diligences are quite out of date.
Read next answer). I'll beat you so lon. (Bigtempered. Why not take
direct action. See previous reply). My unchanging Word is sacred. The
word is my Wife, to exponse and expound, to vend and to velnerate, and
may the curlews crown our nuptias! Till Breath us depart! Wamen.
Beware would you change with my years. Be as young as your
grandmother! The ring man in the rong shop but the rite words by the
rote order! Ubi lingua nuncupassit, ibi fas! Adversus hostem semper
sac! She that will not feel my fulmoon let her peel to thee as the hoyden
and the impudent! That mon that hoth no moses in his sole nor is not
awed by conquistsof word's law, who never with humself was fed and
leaves his soil to lave his head, when his hope's in his highlows from
whisking his woe, if he came to my preach, a proud pursebroken ranger,
when the heavens were welling the spite of their spout, to beg for a bite
in our bark Noisdanger, would meself and Mac Jeffet, four-in-hand,
foot him out? — ay! — were he my own breastbrother, my doubled
withd love and my singlebiassed hate, were we bread by the same fire
and signed with the same salt, had we tapped from the same master and
robbed the same till, were we tucked in the one bed and bit by the one
flea, homogallant and hemycapnoise, bum and dingo, jack by churl,
though it broke my heart to pray it, still I'd fear I'd hate to say!

    12. Sacer esto?

    Answer: Semus sumus!
   Chapter 7




   Shem is as short for Shemus as Jem is joky for Jacob. A few
toughnecks are still getatable who pretend that aboriginally he was of
respectable stemming (he was an outlex between the lines of Ragonar
Blaubarb ant Horrild Hairwire and an inlaw to Capt. the Hon. and Rev.
Mr Bbyrdwood de Trop Blogg was among his most distant connections)
but every honest to goodness man in the land of the space of today
knows that his back life will not stand being written about in black and
white. Putting truth and untruth together a shot may be made at what
this hybrid actually was like to look at.

    Shem's bodily getup, it seems, included an adze of a skull, an eight
of a larkseye, the whoel of a nose, one numb arm up a sleeve, fortytwo
hairs off his uncrown, eighteen to his mock lip, a trio of barbels from his
megageg chin (sowman's son), the wrong shoulder higher than the right,
all ears, an artificial tongue with a natural curl, not a foot to stand on, a
handful of thumbs, a blind stomach, a deaf heart, a loose liver, two
fifths of two buttocks, one gleetsteen avoirdupoider for him, a manroot
of all evil, a salmonkelt's thinskin, eelsblood in his cold toes, a bladder
tristended, so much so that young Master Shemmy on his very first
debouch at the very dawn of protohistory seeing himself such and such,
when playing with thistlewords in their garden nursery, Griefotrofio, at
Phig Streat 111, Shuvlin, Old Hoeland, (would we go back there now
for sounds, pillings and sense? would we now for annas and annas?
would we for fullscore eight and a liretta? for twelve blocks one bob?
for four testers one groat? not for a dinar! not for jo!) dictited to of all
his little brothron and sweestureens the first riddle of the universe:
asking, when is a man not a man?: telling them take their time,
yungfries, and wait till the tide stops (for from the first his day was a
fortnight) and offering the prize of a bittersweet crab, a little present
from the past, for their copper age was yet unminted, to the winner. One
said when the heavens are quakers, a second said when Bohemeand lips,
a third said when he, no, when hold hard a jiffy, when he is a gnawstick
and detarmined to, the next one said when the angel of death kicks the
bucket of life, still another said when the wine's at witsends, and still
another when lovely wooman stoops to conk him, one of the littliest
said me, me, Sem, when pappa papared the harbour, one of the wittiest
said, when he yeat ye abblokooken and he zmear hezelf zo zhooken,
still one said when you are old I'm grey fall full wi sleep, and still
another when wee deader walkner, and another when he is just only
after having being semisized, another when yea, he hath no mananas,
and one when dose pigs they begin now that they will flies up intil the
looft. All were wrong, so Shem himself, the doctator, took the cake, the
correct solution being — all give it up? — when he is a — yours till the
rending of the rocks, — Sham.

    Shem was a sham and a low sham and his lowness creeped out first
via foodstuffs. So low was he that he preferred Gibsen's teatime salmon
tinned, as inexpensive as pleasing, to the plumpest roeheavy lax or the
friskiest parr or smolt troutlet that ever was gaffed between Leixlip and
Island Bridge and many was the time he repeated in his botulism that no
junglegrown pineapple ever smacked like the whoppers you shook out
of Ananias' cans, Findlater and Gladstone's, Corner House, Englend.
None of your inchthick blueblooded Balaclava fried-at-belief-stakes or
juicejelly legs of the Grex's molten mutton or greasilygristly grunters'
goupons or slice upon slab of luscious goosebosom with lump after load
of plumpudding stuffing all aswim in a swamp of bogoakgravy for that
greekenhearted yude! Rosbif of Old Zealand! he could not attouch it.
See what happens when your somatophage merman takes his fancy to
our virgitarian swan? He even ran away with hunself and became a
farsoonerite, saying he would far sooner muddle through the hash of
lentils in Europe than meddle with Irrland's split little pea. Once when
among those rebels in a state of hopelessly helpless intoxication the
piscivore strove to lift a czitround peel to either nostril, hiccupping,
apparently impromptued by the hibat he had with his glottal stop, that
he kukkakould flowrish for ever by the smell, as the czitr, as the
kcedron, like a scedar, of the founts, on mountains, with limon on, of
Lebanon. O! the lowness of him was beneath all up to that sunk to! No
likedbylike firewater or firstserved firstshot or gulletburn gin or honest
brewbarrett beer either. O dear no! Instead the tragic jester sobbed
himself wheywhingingly sick of life on some sort of a rhubarbarous
maundarin yellagreen funkleblue windigut diodying applejack squeezed
from sour grapefruice and, to hear him twixt his sedimental cupslips
when he had gulfed down mmmmuch too mmmmany gourds of it
retching off to almost as low withswillers, who always knew
notwithstanding when they had had enough and were rightly indignant
at the wretch's hospitality when they found to their horror they could not
carry another drop, it came straight from the noble white fat, jo,
openwide sat, jo, jo, her why hide that, jo jo jo, the winevat, of the most
serene magyansty az archdiochesse, if she is a duck, she's a douches,
and when she has a feherbour snot her fault, now is it? artstouchups,
funny you're grinning at, fancy you're in her yet, Fanny Urinia.

    Aint that swell, hey? Peamengro! Talk about lowness! Any dog's
quantity of it visibly oozed out thickly from this dirty little blacking
beetle for the very fourth snap the Tulloch-Turnbull girl with her
coldblood kodak shotted the as yet unremuneranded national apostate,
who was cowardly gun and camera shy, taking what he fondly thought
was a short cut to Caer Fere, Soak Amerigas, vias the shipsteam
Pridewin, after having buried a hatchet not so long before, by the wrong
goods exeunt, nummer desh to tren, into Patatapapaveri's, fruiterers and
musical florists, with his Ciaho, chavi! Sar shin, shillipen? she knew the
vice out of bridewell was a bad fast man by his walk on the spot.

    [Johns is a different butcher's. Next place you are up town pay him a
visit. Or better still, come tobuy. You will enjoy cattlemen's spring
meat. Johns is now quite divorced from baking. Fattens, kills, flays,
hangs, draws, quarters and pieces. Feel his lambs! Ex! Feel how sheap!
Exex!   His   liver   too   is   great   value,   a   spatiality!   Exexex!
COMMUNICATED.]

    Around that time, moravar, one generally, for luvvomony hoped or
at any rate suspected among morticians that he would early turn out
badly, develop hereditary pulmonary T.B., and do for himself one dandy
time, nay, of a pelting night blanketed creditors, hearing a coarse song
and splash off Eden Quay sighed and rolled over, sure all was up, but,
though he fell heavily and locally into debit, not even then could such
an antinomian be true to type. He would not put fire to his cerebrum; he
would not throw himself in Liffey; he would not explaud himself with
pneumantics; he refused to saffrocake himself with a sod. With the
foreign devil's leave the fraid born fraud diddled even death. Anzi,
cabled (but shaking the worth out of his maulth: Guardacosta leporello?
Szasas Kraicz!) from his Nearapoblican asylum to his jonathan for a
brother: Here tokay, gone tomory, we're spluched, do something,
Fireless. And had answer: Inconvenient, David.

    You see, chaps, it will trickle out, freaksily of course, but the tom
and the shorty of it is: he was in his bardic memory low. All the time he
kept on treasuring with condign satisfaction each and every crumb of
trektalk, covetous of his neighbour's word, and if ever, during a Munda
conversazione commoted in the nation's interest, delicate tippits were
thrown out to him touching his evil courses by some wellwishers, vainly
pleading by scriptural arguments with the opprobrious papist about
trying to brace up for the kidos of the thing, Scally wag, and be a men
instead of a dem scrounger, dish it all, such as: Pray, what is the
meaning, sousy, of that continental expression, if you ever came acrux
it, we think it is a word transpiciously like canaille?: or: Did you
anywhere, kennel, on your gullible's travels or during your rural
troubadouring, happen to stumble upon a certain gay young nobleman
whimpering to the name of Low Swine who always addresses women
out of the one corner of his mouth, lives on loans and is furtivefree
yours of age? without one sigh of haste like the supreme prig he was,
and not a bit sorry, he would pull a vacant landlubber's face, root with
earwaker's pensile in the outer of his lauscher and then, lisping, the
prattlepate parnella, to kill time, and swatting his deadbest to think what
under the canopies of Jansens Chrest would any decent son of an
Albiogenselman who had bin to an university think, let a lent hit a hint
and begin to tell all the intelligentsia admitted to that tamileasy
samtalaisy conclamazzione (since, still and before physicians, lawyers
merchant, belfry pollititians, agricolous manufraudurers, sacrestanes of
the Pure River Society, philanthropicks lodging on as many boards
round the panesthetic at the same time as possible) the whole lifelong
swrine story of his entire low cornaille existence, abusing his deceased
ancestors wherever the sods were and one moment tarabooming great
blunderguns (poh!) about his farfamed fine Poppamore, Mr Humhum,
whom history, climate and entertainment made the first of his sept and
always up to debt, though Eavens ears ow many fines he faces, and
another moment visanvrerssas, cruaching three jeers (pah!) for his rotten
little ghost of a Peppybeg, Mr Himmyshimmy, a blighty, a reeky, a
lighty, a scrapy, a babbly, a ninny, dirty seventh among thieves and
always bottom sawyer, till nowan knowed how howmely howme could
be, giving unsolicited testimony on behalf of the absent, as glib as
eaveswater to those present (who meanwhile, with increasing lack of
interest in his semantics, allowed various subconscious smickers to
drivel slowly across their fichers), unconsciously explaining, for
inkstands, with a meticulosity bordering on the insane, the various
meanings of all the different foreign parts of speech he misused and
cuttlefishing every lie unshrinkable about all the other people in the
story, leaving out, of course, foreconsciously, the simple worf and
plague and poison they had cornered him about until there was not a
snoozer among them but was utterly undeceived in the heel of the reel
by the recital of the rigmarole.

    He went without saying that the cull disliked anything anyway
approaching a plain straightforward standup or knockdown row and, as
often as he was called in to umpire any octagonal argument among
slangwhangers, the accomplished washout always used to rub shoulders
with the last speaker and clasp shakers (the handtouch which is speech
without words) and agree to every word as soon as half uttered,
command me!, your servant, good, I revere you, how, my seer? be
drinking that! quite truth, gratias, I'm yoush, see wha'm hearing?, also
goods, please it, me sure?, be filling this!, quiso, you said it, apasafello,
muchas grassyass, is there firing-on-me?, is their girlic-on-you?, to your
good self, your sulphur, and then at once focuss his whole unbalanced
attention upon the next octagonist who managed to catch a listener's
eye, asking and imploring him out of his piteous onewinker,
(hemoptysia diadumenos) whether there was anything in the world he
could do to please him and to overflow his tumbletantaliser for him yet
once more.

    One hailcannon night (for his departure was attended by a heavy
downpour) as very recently as some thousand rains ago he was therefore
treated with what closely resembled parsonal violence, being soggert all
unsuspectingly through the deserted village of Tumblin-on-the-Leafy
from Mr Vanhomrigh's house at 81 bis Mabbot's Mall as far as Green
Patch beyond the brickfields of Salmon Pool by rival teams of
slowspiers counter quicklimers who finally, as rahilly they had been
deteened out rawther laetich, thought, busnis hits busnis, they had better
be streaking for home after their Auborne-to-Auborne, with thanks for
the pleasant evening, one and all disgustedly, instead of ruggering him
back, and awake, reconciled (though they were as jealous as could be
cullions about all the truffles they had brought on him) to a friendship,
fast and furious, which merely arose out of the noxious pervert's perfect
lowness. Again there was a hope that people, looking on him with the
contemp of the contempibles, after first gaving him a roll in the dirt,
might pity and forgive him, if properly deloused, but the pleb was born
a Quicklow and sank alowing till he stank out of sight.

    All Saints beat Belial! Mickil Goals to Nichil! Notpossible!
Already?

    In Nowhere has yet the Whole World taken part of himself for his
Wife;

    By Nowhere have Poorparents been sentenced to Worms, Blood and
Thunder for Life

    Not yet has the Emp from Corpsica forced the Arth out of
Engleterre;

    Not yet have the Sachsen and Judder on the Mound of a Word made
Warre;
    Not yet Witchywithcy of Wench struck Fire of his Heath from on
Hoath;

    Not yet his Arcobaleine forespoken Peacepeace upon Oath;

    Cleftfoot from Hempal must tumpel, Blamefool Gardener's bound to
fall;

    Broken Eggs will poursuive bitten Apples for where theirs is Will
there's his Wall;

    But the Mountstill frowns on the Millstream while their Madsons
leap his Bier

    And her Rillstrill liffs to His Murkesty all her daft Daughters laff in
her Ear.

    Till the four Shores of deff Tory Island let the douze dumm Eire
whiggs raille!

    Hirp! Hirp! for their Missed Understandings! chirps the Ballat of
Perce-Oreille.

    O fortunous casualitas! Lefty takes the cherubcake while Rights
cloves his hoof. Darkies never done tug that coon out to play non-
excretory, anti-sexuous, misoxenetic, gaasy pure, flesh and blood
games, written and composed and sung and danced by Niscemus
Nemon, same as piccaninnies play all day, those old (none of your
honeys and rubbers!) games for fun and element we used to play with
Dina and old Joe kicking her behind and before and the yellow girl
kicking him behind old Joe, games like Thom Thom the Thonderman,
Put the Wind up the Peeler, Hat in the Ring, Prisson your Pritchards
and Play Withers Team, Mikel on the Luckypig, Nickel in the Slot,
Sheila Harnett and her Cow, Adam and Ell, Humble Bumble, Moggie's
on the Wall, Twos and Threes, American Jump, Fox Come out of your
Den, Broken Bottles, Writing a Letter to Punch, Tiptop is a Sweetstore,
Henressy Crump Expolled, Postman's Knock, Are We Fairlys
Represented?, Solomon Silent reading, Appletree Bearstone, I know a
Washerwoman, Hospitals, As I was Walking, There is Oneyone's House
in Dreamcolohour, Battle of Waterloo, Colours, Eggs in the Bush,
Habberdasherisher, Telling your Dreams, What's the Time, Nap,
Ducking Mammy, Last Man Standing, Heali Baboon and the Forky
Theagues, Fickleyes and Futilears, Handmarried but once in my Life
and I'll never commit such a Sin agin, Zip Cooney Candy, Turkey in the
Straw, This is the Way we sow the Seed of a long and lusty Morning,
Hops of Fun at Miliken's Make, I seen the Toothbrush with Pat Farrel,
Here's the Fat to graze the Priest's Boots, When his Steam was like a
Raimbrandt round Mac Garvey.

   Now it is notoriously known how on that surprisingly bludgeony
Unity Sunday when the grand germogall allstar bout was harrily the
rage between our weltingtoms extraordinary and our pettythicks the
marshalaisy and Irish eyes of welcome were smiling daggers down their
backs, when the roth, vice and blause met the noyr blank and rogues and
the grim white and cold bet the black fighting tans, categorically
unimperatived by the maxims, a rank funk getting the better of him, the
scut in a bad fit of pyjamas fled like a leveret for his bare lives, to
Talviland, ahone ahaza, pursued by the scented curses of all the village
belles and, without having struck one blow, (pig stole on him was lust
he lagging it was becaused dust he shook) kuskykorked himself up tight
in his inkbattle house, badly the worse for boosegas, there to stay in afar
for the life, where, as there was not a moment to be lost, after he had
boxed around with his fortepiano till he was whole bach bamp him and
bump him blues, he collapsed carefully under a bedtick from
Schwitzer's, his face enveloped into a dead warrior's telemac, with a
lullobaw's somnbomnet and a whotwaterwottle at his feet to stoke his
energy of waiting, moaning feebly, in monkmarian monotheme, but
tarned long and then a nation louder, while engaged in swallowing from
a large ampullar, that his pawdry's purgatory was more than a nigger
bloke could bear, hemiparalysed by the tong warfare and all the
shemozzle, (Daily Maily, fullup Lace! Holy Maly, Mothelup Joss!) his
cheeks and trousers changing colour every time a gat croaked.

    How is that for low, laities and gentlenuns? Why, dog of the
Crostiguns, whole continents rang with this Kairokorran lowness!
Sheols of houris in chems upon divans, (revolted stellas vespertine
vesamong them) at a bare (O!) mention of the scaly rybald exclaimed:
Poisse!

    But would anyone, short of a madhouse, believe it? Neither of those
clean little cherubum, Nero or Nobookisonester himself, ever nursed
such a spoiled opinion of his monstrous marvellosity as did this mental
and moral defective (here perhaps at the vanessance of his lownest) who
was known to grognt rather than gunnard upon one occasion, while
drinking heavily of spirits to that interlocutor a latere and private
privysuckatary he used to pal around with, in the kavehazs, one Davy
Browne-Nowlan, his heavenlaid twin, (this hambone dogpoet pseudoed
himself under the hangname he gave himself of Bethgelert) in the
porchway of a gipsy's bar (Shem always blaspheming, so holy writ,
Billy, he would try, old Belly, and pay this one manjack congregant of
his four soups every lass of nexmouth, Bolly, so sure as thair's a tail on
a commet, as a taste for storik's fortytooth, that is to stay, to listen out,
ony twenny minnies moe, Bully, his Ballade Imaginaire which was to
be dubbed Wine, Woman and Waterclocks, or How a Guy Finks and
Fawkes When He Is Going Batty, by Maistre Sheames de la Plume,
some most dreadful stuff in a murderous mirrorhand) that he was
avoopf (parn me!) aware of no other shaggspick, other Shakhisbeard,
either prexactly unlike his polar andthisishis or procisely the seem as
woops (parn!) as what he fancied or guessed the sames as he was
himself and that, greet scoot, duckings and thuggery, though he was
foxed fux to fux like a bunnyboy rodger with all the teashop lionses of
Lumdrum hivanhoesed up gagainst him, being a lapsis linquo with a
ruvidubb shortartempa, bad cad dad fad sad mad nad vanhaty bear, the
consciquenchers of casuality prepestered crusswords in postposition,
scruff, scruffer, scrufferumurraimost andallthatsortofthing, if reams
stood to reason and his lankalivline lasted he would wipe alley english
spooker, multaphoniaksically spuking, off the face of the erse.
    After the thorough fright he got that bloody, Swithun's day, though
every doorpost in muchtried Lucalizod was smeared with generous
erstborn gore and every free for all cobbleway slippery with the bloods
of heroes, crying to Welkins for others, and noahs and cul verts agush
with tears of joy, our low waster never had the common baalamb's pluck
to stir out and about the compound while everyone else of the torchlit
throng, slashers and sliced alike, mobbu on massa, waaded and baaded
around, yampyam pampyam, chanting the Gillooly chorus, from the
Monster Book of Paltryattic Puetrie, O pura e pia bella! in junk et
sampam or in secular sinkalarum, heads up, on his bonafide avocation
(the little folk creeping on all fours to their natural school treat but
childishly gleeful when a stray whizzer sang out intermediately) and
happy belongers to the fairer sex on their usual quest for higher things,
but vying with Lady Smythe to avenge MacJobber, went stonestepping
with their bickerrstaffs on educated feet, plinkity plonk, across the
sevenspan ponte dei colori set up over the slop after the war-to-end war
by Messrs a charitable government for the only once (dia dose
Finnados!) he did take a tompip peepestrella throug a threedraw
eighteen hawkspower durdicky telescope, luminous to larbourd only
like the lamps in Nassaustrass, out of his westernmost keyhole, spitting
at the impenetrablum wetter, (and it was porcoghastly that outumn) with
an eachway hope in his shivering soul, as he prayed to the cloud
Incertitude, of finding out for himself, on akkount of all the kules in
Kroukaparka or oving to all the kodseoggs in Kalatavala, whether true
conciliation was forging ahead or falling back after the celestious
intemperance and, for Duvvelsache, why, with his see me see and his
my see a corves and his frokerfoskerfuskar layen loves in meeingseeing,
he got the charm of his optical life when he found himself (hic sunt
lennones!) at pointblank range blinking down the barrel of an irregular
revolver of the bulldog with a purpose pattern, handled by an unknown
quarreler who, supposedly, had been told off to shade and shoot shy
Shem should the shit show his shiny shnout out awhile to look facts in
their face before being hosed and creased (uprip and jack him!) by six or
a dozen of the gayboys.

    What, para Saom Plaom, in the names of Deucalion and Pyrrha, and
the incensed privy and the licensed pantry gods and Stator and Victor
and Kutt and Runn and the whole mesa redonda of Lorencao Otulass in
convocacaon, was this disinterestingly low human type, this
Calumnious Column of Cloaxity, this Bengalese Beacon of Biloxity,
this Annamite Aper of Atroxity, really at, it will be precise to quarify,
for he seems in a badbad case?

    The answer, to do all the diddies in one dedal, would sound: from
pulling himself on his most flavoured canal the huge chesthouse of his
elders (the Popapreta, and some navico, navvies!) he had flickered up
and flinnered down into a drug and drunkery addict, growing
megalomane of a loose past. This explains the litany of septuncial
lettertrumpets honorific, highpitched, erudite, neoclassical, which he so
loved as patricianly to manuscribe after his name. It would have
diverted, if ever seen, the shuddersome spectacle of this semidemented
zany amid the inspissated grime of his glaucous den making believe to
read his usylessly unreadable Blue Book of Eccles, édition de ténèbres,
(even yet sighs the Most Different, Dr. Poindejenk, authorised bowdler
and censor, it can't be repeated!) turning over three sheets at a wind,
telling himself delightedly, no espellor mor so, that every splurge on the
vellum he blundered over was an aisling vision more gorgeous than the
one before t.i.t.s., a roseschelle cottage by the sea for nothing for ever, a
ladies tryon hosiery raffle at liberty, a sewerful of guineagold wine with
brancomongepadenopie and sickcylinder oysters worth a billion a bite,
an entire operahouse (there was to be stamping room only in the
prompter's box and everthemore his queque kept swelling) of
enthusiastic noblewomen flinging every coronetcrimsoned stitch they
had off at his probscenium, one after the others, inamagoaded into
ajustilloosing themselves, in their gaiety pantheomime, when, egad, sir,
acordant to all acountstrick, he squealed the topsquall im Deal Lil
Shemlockup Yellin (geewhiz, jew ear that far! soap ewer! loutgout of
sabaous! juice like a boyd!) for fully five minutes, infinitely better than
Baraton Mc Gluckin with a scrumptious cocked hat and three green,
cheese and tangerine trinity plumes on the right handle side of his
amarellous head, a coat macfarlane (the kerssest cut, you understand?) a
sponiard's digger at his ribs, (Alfaiate punxit) an azulblu blowsheet for
his blousebosom blossom and a dean's crozier that he won from
Cardinal Lindundarri and Cardinal Carchingarri and Cardinal Loriotuli
and Cardinal Occidentaccia (ah ho!) in the dearby darby doubled for
falling first over the hurdles, madam, in the odder hand, a.a.t.s.o.t., but
what with the murky light, the botchy print, the tattered cover, the
jigjagged page, the fumbling fingers, the foxtrotting fleas, the lieabed
lice, the scum on his tongue, the drop in his eye, the lump in his throat,
the drink in his pottle, the itch in his palm, the wail of his wind, the grief
from his breath, the fog of his mindfag, the buzz in his braintree, the tic
of his conscience, the height up his rage, the gush down his fundament,
the fire in his gorge, the tickle of his tail, the bane in his bullugs, the
squince in his suil, the rot in his eater, the ycho in his earer, the totters
of his toes, the tetters on his tumtytum, the rats in his garret, the bats in
his belfry, the budgerigars and bumbosolom beaubirds, the hullabaloo
and the dust in his ears since it took him a month to steal a march he
was hardset to mumorise more than a word a week. Hake's haulin!
Hook's fisk! Can you beat it? Whawe! I say, can you bait it? Was there
ever heard of such lowdown blackguardism? Positively it woolies one to
think over it.

    Yet the bumpersprinkler used to boast aloud alone to himself with a
haccent on it when Mynfadher was a boer constructor and Hoy was a
lexical student, parole, and corrected with the blackboard (trying to
copy the stage Englesemen he broughts their house down on, shouting:
Bravure, surr Chorles! Letter purfect! Culossal, Loose Wallor! Spache!)
how he had been toed out of all the schicker families of the klondykers
from Pioupioureich, Swabspays, the land of Nod, Shruggers' Country,
Pension Danubierhome and Barbaropolis, who had settled and stratified
in the capital city after its hebdomodary metropoliarchialisation as
sunblistered, moonplastered, gory, wheedling, joviale, litcherous and
full, ordered off the gorgeous premises in most cases on account of his
smell which all cookmaids eminently objected to as ressembling the
bombinubble puzzo that welled out of the pozzo. Instead of chuthoring
those model households plain wholesome pothooks (a thing he never
possessed of his Nigerian own) what do you think Vulgariano did but
study with stolen fruit how cutely to copy all their various styles of
signature so as one day to utter an epical forged cheque on the public for
his own private profit until, as just related, the Dustbin's United
Scullerymaid's and Househelp's Sorority, better known as Sluttery's
Mowlted Futt, turned him down and assisted nature by unitedly shoeing
the source of annoyance out of the place altogether and taytotally on the
heat of the moment, holding one another's gonk (for no-one, hound or
scrublady, not even the Turk, ungreekable in purscent of the armenable,
dared whiff the polecat at close range) and making some pointopointing
remarks as they done so at the perfects of the Sniffey, your honour,
aboon the lyow why a stunk, mister.

    [Jymes wishes to hear from wearers of abandoned female costumes,
gratefully received, wadmel jumper, rather full pair of culottes and
onthergarmenteries, to start city life together. His jymes is out of job,
would sit and write. He has lately commited one of the then
commandments but she will now assist. Superior built, domestic,
regular layer. Also got the boot. He appreciates it. Copies.
ABORTISEMENT.]
    One cannot even begin to post figure out a statuesquo ante as to how
slow in reality the excommunicated Drumcondriac, nate Hamis, really
was. Who can say how many pseudostylic shamiana, how few or how
many of the most venerated public impostures, how very many piously
forged palimpsests slipped in the first place by this morbid process from
his pelagiarist pen?

    Be that as it may, but for that light phantastic of his gnose's glow as
it slid lucifericiously within an inch of its page (he would touch at its
from time to other, the red eye of his fear in saddishness, to ensign the
colours by the beerlitz in his mathness and his educandees to outhue to
themselves in the cries of girlglee: gember! inkware! chonchambre!
cinsero! zinnzabar! tincture and gin!) Nibs never would have quilled a
seriph to sheepskin. By that rosy lampoon's effluvious burning and with
help of the simulchronic flush in his pann (a ghinee a ghirk he ghets
there!) he scrabbled and scratched and scriobbled and skrevened
nameless shamelessness about everybody ever he met, even sharing a
precipitation under the idlish tarriers' umbrella of a showerproof wall,
while all over up and down the four margins of this rancid Shem stuff
the evilsmeller (who was devoted to Uldfadar Sardanapalus) used to
stipple endlessly inartistic portraits of himself in the act of reciting old
Nichiabelli's monolook interyerear Hanno, o Nonanno, acce'l
brubblemm'as, ser Autore, q.e.d., a heartbreakingly handsome young
paolo with love lyrics for the goyls in his eyols, a plaintiff's tanner
vuice, a jucal inkome of one hundred and thirtytwo dranchmas per yard
from Broken Hill stranded estate, Camebreech mannings, cutting a great
dash in a brandnew two guinea dress suit and a burled hogsford hired
for a Fursday evenin merry pawty, anna loavely long pair of inky Italian
moostarshes glistering with boric vaseline and frangipani. Puh! How
unwhisperably so!

    The house O'Shea or O'Shame, Quivapieno, known as the Haunted
Inkbottle, no number Brimstone Walk, Asia in Ireland, as it was infested
with the raps, with his penname SHUT sepiascraped on the doorplate
and a blind of black sailcloth over its wan phwinshogue, in which the
soulcontracted son of the secret cell groped through life at the expense
of the taxpayers, dejected into day and night with jesuit bark and bitter
bite, calicohydrants of zolfor and scoppialamina by full and forty
Queasisanos, every day in everyone's way more exceeding in violent
abuse of self and others, was the worst, it is hoped, even in our western
playboyish world for pure mousefarm filth. You brag of your brass
castle or your tyled house in ballyfermont? Niggs, niggs and niggs
again. For this was a stinksome inkenstink, quite puzzonal to the
wrottel. Smatterafact, Angles aftanon browsing there thought not Edam
reeked more rare. My wud! The warped flooring of the lair and
soundconducting walls thereof, to say nothing of the uprights and
imposts, were persianly literatured with burst loveletters, telltale stories,
stickyback snaps, doubtful eggshells, bouchers, flints, borers, puffers,
amygdaloid almonds, rindless raisins, alphybettyformed verbage,
vivlical viasses, ompiter dictas, visus umbique, ahems and ahahs,
imeffible tries at speech unasyllabled, you owe mes, eyoldhyms,
fluefoul smut, fallen lucifers, vestas which had served, showered
ornaments, borrowed brogues, reversibles jackets, blackeye lenses,
family jars, falsehair shirts, Godforsaken scapulars, neverworn breeches,
cutthroat ties, counterfeit franks, best intentions, curried notes, upset
latten tintacks, unused mill and stumpling stones, twisted quills, painful
digests, magnifying wineglasses, solid objects cast at goblins, once
current puns, quashed quotatoes, messes of mottage, unquestionable
issue papers, seedy ejaculations, limerick damns, crocodile tears, spilt
ink, blasphematory spits, stale shestnuts, schoolgirl's, young ladies,
milkmaids', washerwomen's, shopkeepers' wives, merry widows', ex
nuns', vice abbess's, pro virgins', super whores', silent sisters', Charleys'
aunts', grandmothers', mothers'-in-laws, fostermothers', godmothers'
garters, tress clippings from right, lift and cintrum, worms of snot,
toothsome pickings, cans of Swiss condensed bilk, highbrow lotions,
kisses from the antipodes, presents from pickpockets, borrowed plumes,
relaxable handgrips, princess promises, lees of whine, deoxodised
carbons, convertible collars, diviliouker doffers, broken wafers,
unloosed shoe latchets, crooked strait waistcoats, fresh horrors from
Hades, globules of mercury, undeleted glete, glass eyes for an eye, gloss
teeth for a tooth, war moans, special sighs, longsufferings of
longstanding, ahs ohs ouis sis jas jos gias neys thaws sos, yeses and
yeses and yeses, to which, if one has the stomach to add the breakages,
upheavals distortions, inversions of all this chambermade music one
stands, given a grain of goodwill, a fair chance of actually seeing the
whirling dervish, Tumult, son of Thunder, self exiled in upon his ego, a
nightlong    a   shaking   betwixtween     white    or   reddr    hawrors,
noondayterrorised to skin and bone by an ineluctable phantom (may the
Shaper have mercery on him!) writing the mystery of himsel in
furniture.

    Of course our low hero was a self valeter by choice of need so up he
got up whatever is meant by a stourbridge clay kitchenette and
lithargogalenu fowlhouse for the sake of akes (the umpple does not fall
very far from the dumpertree) which the moromelodious jigsmith, in
defiance of the Uncontrollable Birth Preservativation (Game and
Poultry) Act, playing lallaryrook cookerynook, by the dodginess of his
lentern, brooled and cocked and potched in an athanor, whites and yolks
and yilks and whotes to the frulling fredonnance of Mas blanca que la
blanca hermana and Amarilla, muy bien, with cinnamon and locusts and
wild beeswax and liquorice and Carrageen moss and blaster of Barry's
and Asther's mess and Huster's micture and Yellownan's embrocation
and Pinkingtone's patty and stardust and sinner's tears, acuredent to
Sharadan's Art of Panning, chanting, for all regale to the like of the legs
he left behind with Litty fun Letty fan Leven, his cantraps of fermented
words, abracadabra calubra culorum, (his oewfs à la Madame Gabrielle
de l'Eglise, his avgs à la Mistress B. de B. Meinfelde, his eiers
Usquadmala à la pomme de ciel, his uoves, oves and uves à la Sulphate
de Soude, his ochiuri sowtay sowmmonay a la Monseigneur, his
soufflosion of oogs with somekat on toyast à la Mère Puard, his
Poggadovies alla Fenella, his Frideggs à la Tricarême) in what was
meant for a closet (Ah ho! If only he had listened better to the four
masters that infanted him Father Mathew and Le Père Noble and Pastor
Lucas and Padre Aguilar — not forgetting Layteacher Baudwin! Ah
ho!) His costive Satan's antimonian manganese limolitmious nature
never needed such an alcove so, when Robber and Mumsell, the pulpic
dictators, on the nudgment of their legal advisers, Messrs Codex and
Podex, and under his own benefiction of their pastor Father Flammeus
Falconer, boycotted him of all muttonsuet candles and romeruled
stationery for any purpose, he winged away on a wildgoup's chase
across the kathartic ocean and made synthetic ink and sensitive paper
for his own end out of his wit's waste. You ask, in Sam Hill, how? Let
manner and matter of this for these our sporting times be cloaked up in
the language of blushfed porporates that an Anglican ordinal, not
reading his own rude dunsky tunga, may ever behold the brand of
scarlet on the brow of her of Babylon and feel not the pink one in his
own damned cheek.

    Primum     opifex,   altus   prosator,    ad     terram   viviparam     et
cunctipotentem sine ullo pudore nec venia, suscepto pluviali atque
discinctis   perizomatis,   natibus   nudis    uti    nati    fuissent,   sese
adpropinquans, flens et gemens, in manum suam evacuavit (highly
prosy, crap in his hand, sorry!), postea, animale nigro exoneratus,
classicum pulsans, stercus proprium, quod appellavit deiectiones suas,
in vas olim honorabile tristitiae posuit, eodem sub invocatione
fratrorum geminorum Medardi et Godardi laete ac melliflue minxit,
psalmum qui incipit: Lingua mea calamus scribae velociter scribentis:
magna voce cantitans (did a piss, says he was dejected, asks to be
exonerated), demum ex stercore turpi cum divi Orionis iucunditate
mixto, cocto, frigorique exposito, encaustum sibi fecit indelibile (faked
O'Ryan's, the indelible ink).

    Then, pious Eneas, conformant to the fulminant firman which
enjoins on the tremylose terrian that, when the call comes, he shall
produce nichthemerically from his unheavenly body a no uncertain
quantity of obscene matter not protected by copriright in the United
Stars of Ourania or bedeed and bedood and bedang and bedung to him,
with this double dye, brought to blood heat, gallic acid on iron ore,
through the bowels of his misery, flashly, faithly, nastily, appropriately,
this Esuan Menschavik and the first till last alshemist wrote over every
square inch of the only foolscap available, his own body, till by its
corrosive sublimation one continuous present tense integument slowly
unfolded all marryvoising moodmoulded cyclewheeling history
(thereby, he said, reflecting from his own individual person life
unlivable, transaccidentated through the slow fires of consciousness into
a dividual chaos, perilous, potent, common to allflesh, human only,
mortal) but with each word that would not pass away the squidself
which he had squirtscreened from the crystalline world waned
chagreenold and doriangrayer in its dudhud. This exists that isits after
having been said we know. And dabal take dabnal! And the dal dabal
dab aldanabal! So perhaps, agglaggagglomeratively asaspenking, after
all and arklast fore arklyst on his last public misappearance, circling the
square, for the deathfête of Saint Ignaceous Poisonivy, of the Fickle
Crowd (hopon the sexth day of Hogsober, killim our king, layum low!)
and brandishing his bellbearing stylo, the shining keyman of the wilds
of change, if what is sauce for the zassy is souse for the zazimas, the
blond cop who thought it was ink was out of his depth but bright in the
main.

    Petty constable Sistersen of the Kruis-Kroon-Kraal it was, the
parochial watch, big the dog the dig the bog the bagger the dugger the
begadag degabug, who had been detailed from pollute stoties to save
him, this the quemquem, that the quum, from the ligatureliablous effects
of foul clay in little clots and mobmauling on looks, that
wrongcountered       the    tenderfoot     an     eveling     near     the
livingsmeansuniumgetherum, Knockmaree, Comty Mea, reeling more
to the right than he lurched to the left, on his way from a protoprostitute
(he would always have a (stp!) little pigeoness somewhure with his arch
girl, Arcoiris, smockname of Mergyt) just as he was butting in rand the
coyner of bad times under a hideful between the rival doors of warm
bethels of worship through his boardelhouse fongster, greeting for
grazious oras as usual: Where ladies have they that a dog meansort
herring? Sergo, search me, the incapable reparteed with a selfevitant
subtlety so obviously spurious and, raising his hair, after the grace, with
the christmas under his clutcharm, for Portsymasser and Purtsymessus
and Pertsymiss and Partsymasters, like a prance of findingos, with a
shillto shallto slipny stripny, in he skittled. Swikey! The allwhite poors
guardiant, pulpably of balltossic stummung, was literally astundished
over the painful sake, how he burstteself, which he was gone to, where
he intent to did he, whether you think will, wherend the whole current
of the afternoon whats the souch of a surch hads of hits of hims, urged
and staggered thereto in his countryports at the caledosian capacity for
Lieutuvisky of the caftan's wineskin and even more so, during, looking
his bigmost astonishments, it was said him, aschu, fun the concerned
outgift of the dead med dirt, how that, arrahbejibbers, conspuent to the
dominical order and exking noblish permish, he was namely coon at
bringer at home two gallonts, as per royal, full poultry till his murder.
Nip up and nab it!

    Polthergeistkotzdondherhoploits! Kick? What mother? Whose
porter? Which pair? Why namely coon? But our undilligence has been
plutherotested so enough of such porterblack lowneess, too base for
printink! Perpending that Putterick O'Purcell pulls the coald stoane out
of Winterwater's and Silder Seas sing for Harreng our Keng, sept okt
nov dez John Phibbs march! We cannot, in mercy or justice nor on the
lovom for labaryntos, stay here for the residence of our existings,
discussing Tamstar Ham of Tenman's thirst.

    JUSTIUS (to himother): Brawn is my name and broad is my nature
and I've breit on my brow and all's right with every feature and I'll brune
this bird or Brown Bess's bung's gone bandy. I'm the boy to bruise and
braise. Baus!

    Stand forth, Nayman of Noland (for no longer will I follow you
obliquelike through the inspired form of the third person singular and
the moods and hesitensies of the deponent but address myself to you,
with the empirative of my vendettative, provocative and out direct),
stand forth, come boldly, jolly me, move me, zwilling though I am, to
laughter in your true colours ere you be back for ever till I give you your
talkingto! Shem Macadamson, you know me and I know you and all
your shemeries. Where have you been in the uterim, enjoying yourself
all the morning since your last wetbed confession? I advise you to
conceal yourself, my little friend, as I have said a moment ago and put
your hands in my hands and have a nightslong homely little confiteor
about things. Let me see. It is looking pretty black against you, we
suggest, Sheem avick. You will need all the elements in the river to
clean you over it all and a fortifine popespriestpower bull of attender to
booth.

    Let us pry. We thought, would and did. Cur, quicquid, ubi,
quomodo, quoties, quibus auxiliis? You were bred, fed, fostered and
fattened from holy childhood up in this two easter island on the piejaw
of hilarious heaven and roaring the other place (plunders to night of you,
blunders what's left of you, flash as flash can!) and now, forsooth, a
nogger among the blankards of this dastard century, you have become
of twosome twiminds forenenst gods, hidden and discovered, nay,
condemned fool, anarch, egoarch, hiresiarch, you have reared your
disunited kingdom on the vacuum of your own most intensely doubtful
soul. Do you hold yourself then for some god in the manger, Shehohem,
that you will neither serve not let serve, pray nor let pray? And here, pay
the piety, must I too nerve myself to pray for the loss of selfrespect to
equip me for the horrible necessity of scandalisang (my dear sisters, are
you ready?) by sloughing off my hope and tremors while we all swin
together in the pool of Sodom? I shall shiver for my purity while they
will weepbig for your sins. Away with covered words, new
Solemonities for old Badsheetbaths! That inharmonious detail, did you
name it? Cold caldor! Gee! Victory! Now, opprobro of underslung
pipes, johnjacobs, while yet an adolescent (what do I say?), while still
puerile in your tubsuit with buttonlegs, you got a handsome present of a
selfraising syringe and twin feeders (you know, Monsieur Abgott, in
your art of arts, to your cost as well as I do (and don't try to hide it) the
penals lots I am now poking at) and the wheeze sort of was you should
(if you were as bould a stroke now as the curate that christened you,
sonny douth-the-candle!) repopulate the land of your birth and count up
your progeny by the hungered head and the angered thousand but you
thwarted the wious pish of your cogodparents, soph, among countless
occasions of failing (for, said you, I will elenchate), adding to the malice
of your transgression, yes, and changing its nature, (you see I have read
your theology for you) alternating the morosity of my delectations — a
philtred love, trysting by tantrums, small peace in ppenmark — with
sensibility, sponsibility, passibility and prostability, your lubbock's other
fear pleasures of a butler's life, even extruding your strabismal apologia,
when legibly depressed, upon defenceless paper and thereby adding to
the already unhappiness of this our popeyed world, scribblative! — all
that too with cantreds of countless catchaleens, the mannish as many as
the minneful, congested around and about you for acres and roods and
poles or perches, thick as the fluctuant sands of Chalwador,
accomplished women, indeed fully educanded, far from being old and
rich behind their dream of arrivisme, if they have only their honour left,
and not deterred by bad weather when consumed by amorous passion,
struggling to possess themselves of your boosh, one son of Sorge for all
daughters of Anguish, solus cum sola sive cuncties cum omnibobs (I'd
have been the best man for you, myself), mutely aying for that natural
knot, debituary vases or vessels preposterous, for what would not have
cost you ten bolivars of collarwork or the price of one ping pang, just a
lilt, let us trillt, of the oldest song in the wooed woodworld, (two-we! to-
one!),   accompanied      by    a   plain    gold   band!     Hail!   Hail!
Highbosomheaving Missmisstress Morna of the allsweetheartening
bridemuredemeanour! Her eye's so gladsome we'll all take shares in the
—— groom!

    Sniffer of carrion, premature gravedigger, seeker of the nest of evil
in the bosom of a good word, you, who sleep at our vigil and fast for our
feast, you with your dislocated reason, have cutely foretold, a jophet in
your own absence, by blind poring upon your many scalds and burns
and blisters, impetiginous sore and pustules, by the auspices of that
raven cloud, your shade, and by the auguries of rooks in parlament,
death with every disaster, the dynamitisation of colleagues, the reducing
of records to ashes, the levelling of all customs by blazes, the return of a
lot of sweetempered gunpowdered didst unto dudst but it never stphruck
your mudhead's obtundity (O hell, here comes our funeral! O pest, I'll
miss the post!) that the more carrots you chop, the more turnips you slit,
the more murphies you peel, the more onions you cry over, the more
bullbeef you butch, the more mutton you crackerhack, the more
potherbs you pound, the fiercer the fire and the longer your spoon and
the harder you gruel with more grease to your elbow the merrier fumes
your new Irish stew.

    O, by the way, yes, another thing occurs to me. You let me tell you,
with the utmost politeness, were very ordinarily designed, your
birthwrong was, to fall in with Plan, as our nationals should, as all
nationists must, and do a certain office (what, I will not tell you) in a
certain holy office (nor will I say where) during certain agonising office
hours (a clerical party all to yourself) from such a year to such an hour
on such and such a date at so and so much a week pro anno (Guinness's,
may I remind, were just agulp for you, failing in which you might have
taken the scales off boilers like any boskop of Yorek) and do your little
thruppenny bit and thus earn from the nation true thanks, right here in
our place of burden, your bourne of travail and ville of tares, where after
a divine's prodigence you drew the first watergasp in your life, from the
crib where you once was bit to the crypt you'll be twice as shy of, same
as we, long of us, alone with the colt in the curner, where you were as
popular as an armenial with the faithful, and you set fire to my tailcoat
when I hold the paraffin smoker under yours (I hope that chimney's
clear) but, slackly shirking both your bullet and your billet, you beat it
backwards like Boulanger from Galway (but he combed the grass
against his stride) to sing us a song of alibi, (the cuthone call over the
greybounding slowrolling amplyheaving metamorphoseous that oozy
rocks parapangle their preposters with) nomad, mooner by lamplight,
antinos, shemming amid everyone's repressed laughter to conceal your
scatchophily by mating, like a thoroughpaste prosodite, masculine
monosyllables of the same numerical mus, an Irish emigrant the wrong
way out, sitting on your crooked sixpenny stile, an unfrillfrocked
quackfriar, you (will you for the laugh of Scheekspair just help mine
with the epithet?) semisemitic serendipitist, you (thanks, I think that
describes you) Europasianised Afferyank!

    Shall we follow each others a steplonger, drowner of daggers,
whiles our liege, tilyet a stranger in the frontyard of his happiness, is
taking, (heal helper! one gob, one gap, one gulp and gorger of all!) his
refreshment?

    There grew up beside you, amid our orisons of the speediest in
Novena Lodge, Novara Avenue, in Patripodium-am-Bummel, oaf,
outofwork, one remove from an unwashed savage, on his keeping and in
yours, (I pose you know why possum hides is cause he haint the
nogumtreeumption) that other, Immaculatus, from head to foot, sir, that
pure one, Altrues of other times, he who was well known to celestine
circles before he sped aloft, our handsome young spiritual physician that
was to be, seducing every sense to selfwilling celebesty, the most
winning counterfeuille on our incomeshare lotetree, a chum of the
angelets, a youth those reporters so pettitily wanted as gamefellow that
they asked his mother for ittle earps brupper to let him tome to
Tindertarten, pease, and bing his scooter 'long and 'tend they were all
real brothers in the big justright home where Dodd lives, just to teddyfy
the life out of him and pat and pass him one with other like musk from
hand to hand, that mothersmothered model, that goodlooker with not a
flaw whose spiritual toilettes were the talk of half the town, for sunset
wear and nightfallen use and daybroken donning and nooncheon
showing and the very thing for teasetime, but him you laid low with one
hand one fine May morning in the Meddle of your Might, your bosom
foe, because he mussed your speller on you or because he cut a pretty
figure in the focus of your frontispecs (not one did you slay, no, but a
continent!) to find out how his innards worked!

    Ever read of that greatgrand landfather of our visionbuilders,
Baaboo, the bourgeoismeister, who thought to touch both himmels at
the punt of his risen stiffstaff and how wishywashy sank the waters of
his thought? Ever thought of that hereticalist Marcon and the two
scissymaidies and how bulkily he shat the Ructions gunorrhal? Ever
hear of that foxy, that lupo and that monkax and the virgin heir of the
Morrisons, eh, blethering ape?
    Malingerer in luxury, collector general, what has Your Lowness
done in the mealtime with all the hamilkcars of cooked vegetables, the
hatfuls of stewed fruit, the suitcases of coddled ales, the Parish funds,
me schamer, man, that you kittycoaxed so flexibly out of charitable
butteries by yowling heavy with a hollow voice drop of your horrible
awful poverty of mind so as you couldn't even pledge a crown of
Thorne's to pawn a coat off Trevi's and as how you was bad no end, so
you was, so whelp you Sinner Pitre and Sinner Poule, with the chicken's
gape and pas mal de siècle, which, by the by, Reynaldo, is the ordinary
emetic French for grenadier's drip. To let you have your plank and your
bonewash (O the hastroubles you lost!), to give you your pound of
platinum and a thousand thongs a year (O, you were excruciated, in
honour bound to the cross of your own cruelfiction!) to let you have
your Sarday spree and holinight sleep (fame would come to you twixt a
sleep and a wake) and leave to lie till Paraskivee and the cockcock
crows for Danmark. (O Jonathan, your estomach!) The simian has no
sentiment secretions but weep cataracts for all me, Pain the Shamman!
Oft in the smelly night will they wallow for a clutch of the famished
hand, I say, them bearded jezabelles you hired to rob you, while on your
sodden straw impolitely you encored (Airish and nawboggaleesh!) those
hornmade ivory dreams you reved of the Ruth you called your
companionate, a beauty from the bible, of the flushpots of Euston and
the hanging garments of Marylebone. But the dormer moonshee smiled
selene and the lightthrowers knickered: who's whinging we? Comport
yourself, you inconsistency! Where is that little alimony nestegg against
our predictable rainy day? Is it not the fact (gainsay me, cakeeater!) that,
while whistlewhirling your crazy elegies around Templetombmount
joyntstone, (let him pass, pleasegoodjesusalem, in a bundle of straw, he
was balbettised after haymaking) you squandered among underlings the
overload of your extravagance and made a hottentot of dulpeners
crawsick with your crumbs? Am I not right? Yes? Yes? Yes? Holy wax
and holifer! Don't tell me, Leon of the fold, that you are not a loanshark!
Look up, old sooty, be advised by mux and take your medicine. The
Good Doctor mulled it. Mix it twice before repastures and powder three
times a day. It does marvels for your gripins and it's fine for the solitary
worm.

    Let me finish! Just a little judas tonic, my ghem of all jokes, to
make you go green in the gazer. Do you hear what I'm seeing, hammet?
And remember that golden silence gives consent, Mr Anklegazer! Cease
to be civil, learn to say nay! Whisht! Come here, Herr Studiosus, till I
tell you a wig in your ear. We'll do a whisper drive, for if the barishnyas
got a twitter of it they'd tell the housetops and then all Cadbury would
go crackers. Look! Do you see your dial in the rockingglass? Look well!
Bend down a stigmy till I! It's secret! Iggri, I say, the booseleers! I had
it from Lamppost Shawe. And he had it from the Mullah. And Mull
took it from a Bluecoat schooler. And Gay Socks jot it from Potapheu's
wife. And Rantipoll tipped the wink from old Mrs Tinbullet. And as for
she was confussed by pro-Brother Thacolicus. And the good brother
feels he would need to defecate you. And the Flimsy Follettes are
simply beside each other. And Kelly, Kenny and Keogh are up up and
in arms. That a cross may crush me if I refuse to believe in it. That I
may rock anchor through the ages if I hope it's not true. That the host
may choke me if I beneighbour you without my charity! Sh! Shem, you
are. Sh! You are mad!

    He points the deathbone and the quick are still. Insomnia, somnia
somniorum. Awmawm.

    MERCIUS (of hisself): Domine vopiscus! My fault, his fault, a
kingship through a fault! Pariah, cannibal Cain, I who oathily forswore
the womb that bore you and the paps I sometimes sucked, you who ever
since have been one black mass of jigs and jimjams, haunted by a
convulsionary sense of not having been or being all that I might have
been or you meant to becoming, bewailing like a man that innocence
which I could not defend like a woman, lo, you there, Cathmon-
Carbery, and thank Movies from the innermost depths of my still attrite
heart, Wherein the days of youyouth are evermixed mimine, now ere the
compline hour of being alone athands itself and a puff or so before we
yield our spiritus to the wind, for (though that royal one has not yet
drunk a gouttelette from his consummation and the flowerpot on the
pole, the spaniel pack and their quarry, retainers and the public house
proprietor have not budged a millimetre and all that has been done has
yet to be done and done again, when's day's woe, and lo, you're doomed,
joyday dawns and, la, you dominate) it is to you, firstborn and firstfruit
of woe, to me, branded sheep, pick of the wasterpaperbaskel, by the
tremours of Thundery and Ulerin's dogstar, you alone, windblasted tree
of the knowledge of beautiful andevil, ay, clothed upon with the metuor
and shimmering like the horescens, astroglodynamonologos, the child of
Nilfit's father, blzb, to me unseen blusher in an obscene coalhole, the
cubilibum of your secret sigh, dweller in the downandoutermost where
voice only of the dead may come, because ye left from me, because ye
laughed on me, because, O me lonly son, ye are forgetting me!, that our
turfbrown mummy is acoming, alpilla, beltilla, ciltilla, deltilla, running
with her tidings, old the news of the great big world, sonnies had a
scrap, woewoewoe! bab's baby walks at seven months, waywayway!
bride leaves her raid at Punchestime, stud stoned before a racecourseful,
two belles that make the one appeal, dry yanks will visit old sod, and
fourtiered skirts are up, mesdames, while Parimiknie wears popular
short legs, and twelve hows to mix a tipsy wake, did ye hear, colt
Cooney? did ye ever, filly Fortescue? with a beck, with a spring, all her
rillringlets shaking, rocks drops in her tachie, tramtokens in her hair, all
waived to a point and then all inuendation, little oldfashioned mummy,
little wonderful mummy, ducking under bridges, bellhopping the weirs,
dodging by a bit of bog, rapidshooting round the bends, by Tallaght's
green hills and the pools of the phooka and a place they call it
Blessington and slipping sly by Sallynoggin, as happy as the day is wet,
babbling, bubbling, chattering to herself, deloothering the fields on their
elbows leaning with the sloothering slide of her, giddygaddy, grannyma,
gossipaceous Anna Livia.
He lifts the lifewand and the dumb speak.

— Quoiquoiquoiquoiquoiquoiquoiq!
Chapter 8




O

tell me all about

Anna Livia! I want to hear all
    about Anna Livia. Well, you know Anna Livia? Yes, of course, we
all know Anna Livia. Tell me all. Tell me now. You'll die when you
hear. Well, you know, when the old cheb went futt and did what you
know. Yes, I know, go on. Wash quit and don't be dabbling. Tuck up
your sleeves and loosen your talktapes. And don't butt me — hike! —
when you bend. Or whatever it was they threed to make out he thried to
two in the Fiendish park. He's an awful old reppe. Look at the shirt of
him! Look at the dirt of it! He has all my water black on me. And it
steeping and stuping since this time last wik. How many goes is it I
wonder I washed it? I know by heart the places he likes to saale,
duddurty devil! Scorching my hand and starving my famine to make his
private linen public. Wallop it well with your battle and clean it. My
wrists are wrusty rubbing the mouldaw stains. And the dneepers of wet
and the gangres of sin in it! What was it he did a tail at all on Animal
Sendai? And how long was he under loch and neagh? It was put in the
newses what he did, nicies and priers, the King fierceas Humphrey, with
illysus distilling, exploits and all. But toms will till. I know he well.
Temp untamed will hist for no man. As you spring so shall you neap. O,
the roughty old rappe! Minxing marrage and making loof. Reeve
Gootch was right and Reeve Drughad was sinistrous! And the cut of
him! And the strut of him! How he used to hold his head as high as a
howeth, the famous eld duke alien, with a hump of grandeur on him like
a walking wiesel rat. And his derry's own drawl and his corksown
blather and his doubling stutter and his gullaway swank. Ask Lictor
Hackett or Lector Reade of Garda Growley or the Boy with the
Billyclub. How elster is he a called at all? Qu'appelle? Huges Caput
Earlyfouler. Or where was he born or how was he found? Urgothland,
Tvistown on the Kattekat? New Hunshire, Concord on the Merrimake?
Who blocksmitt her saft anvil or yelled lep to her pail? Was her banns
never loosened in Adam and Eve's or were him and her but captain
spliced? For mine ether duck I thee drake. And by my wildgaze I thee
gander. Flowey and Mount on the brink of time makes wishes and fears
for a happy isthmass. She can show all her lines, with love, license to
play. And if they don't remarry that hook and eye may! O, passmore that
and oxus another! Don Dom Dombdomb and his wee follyo! Was his
help inshored in the Stork and Pelican against bungelars, flu and third
risk parties? I heard he dug good tin with his doll, delvan first and
duvlin after, when he raped her home, Sabrine asthore, in a parakeet's
cage, by dredgerous lands and devious delts, playing catched and
mythed with the gleam of her shadda, (if a flic had been there to pop up
and pepper him!) past auld min's manse and Maisons Allfou and the rest
of incurables and the last of immurables, the quaggy waag for
stumbling. Who sold you that jackalantern's tale? Pemmican's pasty pie!
Not a grasshoop to ring her, not an antsgrain of ore. In a gabbard he
barqued it, the boat of life, from the harbourless Ivernikan Okean, till he
spied the loom of his landfall and he loosed two croakers from under his
tilt, the gran Phenician rover. By the smell of her kelp they made the
pigeonhouse. Like fun they did! But where was Himself, the timoneer?
That marchantman he suivied their scutties right over the wash, his
cameleer's burnous breezing up on him, till with his runagate bowmpriss
he roade and borst her bar. Pilcomayo! Suchcaughtawan! And the
whale's away with the grayling! Tune your pipes and fall ahumming,
you born ijypt, and you're nothing short of one! Well, ptellomey soon
and curb your escumo. When they saw him shoot swift up her sheba
sheath, like any gay lord salomon, her bulls they were ruhring, surfed
with spree. Boyarka buah! Boyana bueh! He erned his lille Bunbath
hard, our staly bred, the trader. He did. Look at here. In this wet of his
prow. Don't you know he was kaldt a bairn of the brine, Wasserbourne
the waterbaby? Havemmarea, so he was! H.C.E. has a codfisck ee. Shyr
she's nearly as badher as him herself. Who? Anna Livia? Ay, Anna
Livia. Do you know she was calling bakvandets sals from all around,
nyumba noo, chamba choo, to go in till him, her erring cheef, and tickle
the pontiff aisy-oisy? She was? Gota pot! Yssel that the limmat? As El
Negro winced when he wonced in La Plate. O, tell me all I want to hear,
how loft she was lift a laddery dextro! A coneywink after the bunting
fell. Letting on she didn't care, sina feza, me absantee, him man in
passession, the proxenete! Proxenete and phwhat is phthat? Emme for
your reussischer Honddu jarkon! Tell us in franca langua. And call a
spate a spate. Did they never sharee you ebro at skol, you
antiabecedarian? It's just the same as if I was to go par examplum now
in conservancy's cause out of telekinesis and proxenete you. For coxyt
sake and is that what she is? Botlettle I thought she'd act that loa. Didn't
you spot her in her windaug, wubbling up on an osiery chair, with a
meusic before her all cunniform letters, pretending to ribble a reedy
derg on a fiddle she bogans without a band on? Sure she can't fiddan a
dee, with bow or abandon! Sure, she can't! Tista suck. Well, I never
now heard the like of that! Tell me moher. Tell me moatst. Well, old
Humber was as glommen as grampus, with the tares at his thor and the
buboes for ages and neither bowman nor shot abroad and bales allbrant
on the crests of rockies and nera lamp in kitchen or church and giant's
holes in Grafton's causeway and deathcap mushrooms round Funglus
grave and the great tribune's barrow all darnels occumule, sittang
sambre on his sett, drammen and drommen, usking queasy quizzers of
his ruful continence, his childlinen scarf to encourage his obsequies
where he'd check their debths in that mormon's thames, be questing and
handsetl, hop, step and a deepend, with his berths in their toiling moil,
his swallower open from swolf to fore and the snipes of the gutter
pecking his crocs, hungerstriking all alone and holding doomsdag over
hunselv, dreeing his weird, with his dander up, and his fringe combed
over his eygs and droming on loft till the sight of the sternes, after
zwarthy kowse and weedy broeks and the tits of buddy and the loits of
pest and to peer was Parish worth thette mess. You'd think all was dodo
belonging to him how he durmed adranse in durance vaal. He had been
belching for severn years. And there she was, Anna Livia, she darent
catch a winkle of sleep, purling around like a chit of a child,
Wendawanda, a fingerthick, in a Lapsummer skirt and damazon cheeks,
for to ishim bonzour to her dear dubber Dan. With neuphraties and sault
from his maggias. And an odd time she'd cook him up blooms of fisk
and lay to his heartsfoot her meddery eygs, yayis, and staynish beacons
on toasc and a cupenhave so weeshywashy of Greenland's tay or a
dzoupgan of Kaffue mokau an sable or Sikiang sukry or his ale of ferns
in trueart pewter and a shinkobread (hamjambo, bana?) for to plaise that
man hog stay his stomicker till her pyrraknees shrunk to nutmeg graters
while her togglejoints shuck with goyt and as rash as she'd russ with her
peakload of vivers up on her sieve (metauwero rage it swales and rieses)
my hardey Hek he'd kast them frome him, with a stour of scorn, as
much as to say you sow and you sozh, and if he didn't peg the platteau
on her tawe, believe you me, she was safe enough. And then she'd esk to
vistule a hymn, The Heart Bowed Down or The Rakes of Mallow or
Chelli Michele's La Calumnia è un Vermicelli or a balfy bit ov old Jo
Robidson. Sucho fuffing a fifeing 'twould cut you in two! She'd bate the
hen that crowed on the turrace of Babbel. What harm if she knew how
to cockle her mouth! And not a mag out of Hum no more than out of the
mangle weight. Is that a faith? That's the fact. Then riding the ricka and
roya romanche, Annona, gebroren aroostokrat Nivia, dochter of Sense
and Art, with Sparks' pirryphlickathims funkling her fan, anner
frostivying tresses dasht with virevlies, while the prom beauties sreeked
nith their bearers' skins! — in a period gown of changeable jade that
would robe the wood of two cardinals' chairs and crush poor Cullen and
smother MacCabe. O blazerskate! Theirs porpor patches! And brahming
to him down the feedchute, with her femtyfyx kinds of fondling
endings,   the   poother   rambling    off   her   nose:   Vuggybarney,
Wickerymandy! Hello, ducky, please don't die! Do you know what she
started cheeping after, with a choicey voicey like waterglucks or
Madame Delba to Romeoreszk? You'll never guess. Tell me. Tell me.
Phoebe, dearest, tell, O tell me and I loved you better nor you knew.
And letting on hoon var daft about the warbly sangs from over holmen:
High hellskirt saw ladies hensmoker lilyhung pigger: and soay and soan
and so firth and so forth in a tone sonora and Oom Bothar below like
Bheri-Bheri in his sandy cloak, so umvolosy, as deaf as a yawn, the
stult! Go away! Poor deef old deary! Yare only teasing! Anna Liv? As
chalk is my judge! And didn't she up in sorgues and go and trot doon
and stand in her douro, puffing her old dudheen, and every shirvant
siligirl or wensum farmerette walking the pilend roads, Sawy, Fundally,
Daery or Maery, Milucre, Awny or Graw, usedn't she make her a simp
or sign to slip inside by the sullyport? You don't say, the sillypost?
Bedouix but I do! Calling them in, one by one (To Blockbeddum here!
Here the Shoebenacaddie!) and legging a jig or so on the sihl to show
them how to shake their benders and the dainty how to bring to mind the
gladdest garments out of sight and all the way of a maid with a man and
making a sort of a cackling noise like two and a penny or half a crown
and holding up a silliver shiner. Lordy, lordy, did she so? Well, of all
the ones ever I heard! Throwing all the neiss little whores in the world
at him! To inny captured wench you wish of no matter what sex of
pleissful ways two adda tammar a lizzy a lossie to hug and hab haven in
Humpy's apron!

   And what was the wyerye rima she made! Odet! Odet! Tell me the
trent of it while I'm lathering hail out of Denis Florence MacCarthy's
combies. Rise it, flut ye, pian piena! I'm dying down off my iodine feet
until I lerryn Anna Livia's cushingloo, that was writ by one and rede by
two and trouved by a poule in the parco! I can see that, I see you are.
How does it tummel? Listen now. Are you listening? Yes, yes! Idneed I
am! Tarn your ore ouse! Essonne inne!

    By earth end the cloudy but I badly want a brandnew bankside,
bedamp and I do, and a plumper at that!

    For the putty affair I have is wore out, so it is, sitting, yaping and
waiting for my old Dane hodder dodderer, my life in death companion,
my frugal key of our larder, my much-altered camel's hump, my
jointspoiler, my maymoon's honey, my fool to the last Decemberer, to
wake himself out of his winter's doze and bore me down like he used to.

    Is there irwell a lord of the manor or a knight of the shire at strike, I
wonder, that'd dip me a dace or two in cash for washing and darning
his worshipful socks for him now we're run out of horsebrose and milk?

    Only for my short Brittas bed made's as snug as it smells it's out I'd
lep and off with me to the slobs della Tolka or the plage au Clontarf to
feale the gay aire of my salt troublin bay and the race of the saywint up
me ambushure.

    Onon! Onon! tell me more. Tell me every tiny teign. I want to know
every single ingul. Down to what made the potters fly into jagsthole.
And why were the vesles vet. That homa fever's winning me wome. If a
mahun of the horse but hard me! We'd be bundukiboi meet askarigal.
Well, now comes the hazelhatchery part. After Clondalkin the Kings's
Inns. We'll soon be there with the freshet. How many aleveens had she
in tool? I can't rightly rede you that. Close only knows. Some say she
had three figures to fill and confined herself to a hundred eleven, wan
bywan bywan, making meanacuminamoyas. Olaph lamm et, all that
pack? We won't have room in the kirkeyaard. She can't remember half
of the cradlenames she smacked on them by the grace of her boxing
bishop's infallible slipper, the cane for Kund and abbles for Eyolf and
ayther nayther for Yakov Yea. A hundred and how? They did well to
rechristien her Pluhurabelle. O loreley! What a loddon lodes! Heigh ho!
But it's quite on the cards she'll shed more and merrier, twills and trills,
sparefours and spoilfives, nordsihkes and sudsevers and ayes and neins
to a litter. Grandfarthring nap and Messamisery and the knave of all
knaves and the joker. Heehaw! She must have been a gadabount in her
day, so she must, more than most. Shoal she was, gidgad. She had a
flewmen of her owen. Then a toss nare scared that lass, so aimai moe,
that's agapo! Tell me, tell me, how cam she camlin through all her
fellows, the neckar she was, the diveline? Casting her perils before our
swains from Fonte-in-Monte to Tidingtown and from Tidingtown
tilhavet. Linking one and knocking the next, tapting a flank and tipting a
jutty and palling in and pietaring out and clyding by on her eastway.
Waiwhou was the first thurever burst? Someone he was, whuebra they
were, in a tactic attack or in single combat. Tinker, tilar, souldrer, salor,
Pieman Peace or Polistaman. That's the thing I'm elwys on edge to esk.
Push up and push vardar and come to uphill headquarters! Was it
waterlows year, after Grattan or Flood, or when maids were in Arc or
when three stood hosting? Fidaris will find where the Doubt arises like
Nieman from Nirgends found the Nihil. Worry you sighin foh, Albern,
O Anser? Untie the gemman's fistiknots, Qvic and Nuancee! She can't
put her hand on him for the moment. Tez thelon langlo, walking weary!
Such a loon waybashwards to row! She sid herself she hardly knows
whuon the annals her graveller was, a dynast of Leinster, a wolf of the
sea, or what he did or how blyth she played or how, when, why, where
and who offon he jumpnad her and how it was gave her away. She was
just a young thin pale soft shy slim slip of a thing then, sauntering, by
silvamoonlake and he was a heavy trudging lurching lieabroad of a
Curraghman, making his hay for whose sun to shine on, as tough as the
oaktrees (peats be with them!) used to rustle that time down by the
dykes of killing Kildare, for forstfellfoss with a plash across her. She
thought she's sankh neathe the ground with nymphant shame when he
gave her the tigris eye! O happy fault! Me wish it was he! You're wrong
there, corribly wrong! Tisn't only tonight you're anacheronistic! It was
ages behind that when nullahs were nowhere, in county Wickenlow,
garden of Erin, before she ever dreamt she'd lave Kilbride and go
foaming under Horsepass bridge, with the great southerwestern
windstorming her traces and the midland's grainwaster asarch for her
track, to wend her ways byandby, robecca or worse, to spin and to
grind, to swab and to thrash, for all her golden lifey in the barleyfields
and pennylotts of Humphrey's fordofhurdlestown and lie with a
landleaper, wellingtonorseher. Alesse, the lagos of girly days! For the
dove of the dunas! Wasut? Izod? Are you sarthin suir? Not where the
Finn fits into the Mourne, not where the Nore takes lieve of Bloem, not
where the Braye divarts the Farer, not where the Moy changez her
minds twixt Cullin and Conn tween Cunn and Collin? Or where
Neptune sculled and Tritonville rowed and leandros three bumped
heroines two? Neya, narev, nen, nonni, nos! Then whereabouts in Ow
and Ovoca? Was it yst with wyst or Lucan Yokan or where the hand of
man has never set foot? Dell me where, the fairy ferse time! I will if you
listen. You know the dinkel dale of Luggelaw? Well, there once dwelt a
local heremite, Michael Arklow was his riverend name, (with many a
sigh I aspersed his lavabibs!) and one venersderg in junojuly, oso sweet
and so cool and so limber she looked, Nance the Nixie, Nanon L'Escaut,
in the silence, of the sycomores, all listening, the kindling curves you
simply can't stop feeling, he plunged both of his newly anointed hands,
the core of his cushlas, in her singimari saffron strumans of hair, parting
them and soothing her and mingling it, that was deepdark and ample
like this red bog at sundown. By that Vale Vowclose's lucydlac, the
reignbeau's heavenarches arronged orranged her. Afrothdizzying galbs,
her enamelled eyes indergoading him on to the vierge violetian. Wish a
wish! Why a why? Mavro! Letty Lerck's lafing light throw those laurals
now on her daphdaph teasesong petrock. Maass! But the majik wavus
has elfun anon meshes. And Simba the Slayer of his Oga is slewd. He
cuddle not help himself, thurso that hot on him, he had to forget the
monk in the man so, rubbing her up and smoothing her down, he baised
his lippes in smiling mood, kiss akiss after kisokushk (as he warned her
niver to, niver to, nevar) on Anna-na-Poghue's of the freckled forehead.
While you'd parse secheressa she hielt her souff. But she ruz two feet
hire in her aisne aestumation. And steppes on stilts ever since. That was
kissuahealing with bantur for balm! O, wasn't he the bold priest? And
wasn't she the naughty Livvy? Nautic Naama's now her navn. Two lads
in scoutsch breeches went through her before that, Barefoot Burn and
Wallowme Wade, Lugnaquillia's noblesse pickts, before she had a hint
of a hair at her fanny to hide or a bossom to tempt a birch canoedler not
to mention a bulgic porterhouse barge. And ere that again, leada, laida,
all unraidy, too faint to buoy the fairiest rider, too frail to flirt with a
cygnet's plume, she was licked by a hound, Chirripa-Chirruta, while
poing her pee, pure and simple, on the spur of the hill in old Kippure, in
birdsong and shearingtime, but first of all, worst of all, the wiggly
livvly, she sideslipped out by a gap in the Devil's glen while Sally her
nurse was sound asleep in a sloot and, feefee fiefie, fell over a spillway
before she found her stride and lay and wriggled in all the stagnant
black pools of rainy under a fallow coo and she laughed innocefree with
her limbs aloft and a whole drove of maiden hawthorns blushing and
looking askance upon her.

    Drop me the sound of the findhorn's name, Mtu or Mti, sombogger
was wisness. And drip me why in the flenders was she frickled. And
trickle me through was she marcellewaved or was it weirdly a wig she
wore. And whitside did they droop their glows in their florry, aback to
wist or affront to sea? In fear to hear the dear so near or longing loth and
loathing longing? Are you in the swim or are you out? O go in, go on,
go an! I mean about what you know. I know right well what you mean.
Rother! You'd like the coifs and guimpes, snouty, and me to do the
greasy jub on old Veronica's wipers. What am I rancing now and I'll
thank you? Is it a pinny or is it a surplice? Arran, where's your nose?
And where's the starch? That's not the vesdre benediction smell. I can
tell from here by their eau de Colo and the scent of her oder they're Mrs
Magrath's. And you ought to have aird them. They've moist come off
her. Creases in silk they are, not crampton lawn. Baptiste me, father, for
she has sinned! Through her catchment ring she freed them easy, with
her hips' hurrahs for her knees'dontelleries. The only parr with frills in
old the plain. So they are, I declare! Welland well! If tomorrow keeps
fine who'll come tripping to sightsee? How'll? Ask me next what I
haven't got! The Belvedarean exhibitioners. In their cruisery caps and
oarsclub colours. What hoo, they band! And what hoa, they buck! And
here is her nubilee letters too. Ellis on quay in scarlet thread. Linked for
the world on a flushcaloured field. Annan exe after to show they're not
Laura Keown's. O, may the diabolo twisk your seifety pin! You child of
Mammon, Kinsella's Lilith! Now who has been tearing the leg of her
drawars on her? Which leg is it? The one with the bells on it. Rinse
them out and aston along with you! Where did I stop? Never stop!
Continuarration! You're not there yet. I amstel waiting. Garonne,
garonne!

    Well, after it was put in the Mericy Cordial Mendicants' Sitterdag-
Zindeh-Munaday Wakeschrift (for once they sullied their white
kidloves, chewing cuds after their dinners of cheeckin and beggin, with
their show us it here and their mind out of that and their when you're
quite finished with the reading matarial), even the snee that snowdon his
hoaring hair had a skunner against him. Thaw, thaw, sava, savuto! Score
Her Chuff Exsquire! Everywhere erriff you went and every bung you
arver dropped into, in cit or suburb or in addled areas, the Rose and
Bottle or Phoenix Tavern or Power's Inn or Jude's Hotel or wherever
you scoured the countryside from Nannywater to Vartryville or from
Porta Lateen to the lootin quarter you found his ikom etsched tipside
down or the cornerboys cammocking his guy and Morris the Man, with
the role of a royss in his turgos the turrible, (Evropeahahn cheic house,
unskimmed sooit and yahoort, hamman now cheekmee, Ahdahm this
way make, Fatima, half turn!) reeling and railing round the local as the
peihos piped und ubanjees twanged, with oddfellow's triple tiara busby
rotundarinking round his scalp. Like Pate-by-the-Neva or Pete-over-
Meer. This is the Hausman all paven and stoned, that cribbed the Cabin
that never was owned that cocked his leg and hennad his Egg. And the
mauldrin rabble around him in areopage, fracassing a great bingkan
cagnan with their timpan crowders. Mind your Grimmfather! Think of
your Ma! Hing the Hong is his jove's hangnomen! Lilt a bolero, bulling
a law! She swore on croststyx nyne wyndabouts she's be level with all
the snags of them yet. Par the Vulnerable Virgin's Mary del Dame! So
she said to herself she'd frame a plan to fake a shine, the mischiefmaker,
the like of it you niever heard. What plan? Tell me quick and dongu so
crould! What the meurther did she mague? Well, she bergened a zakbag,
a shammy mailsack, with the lend of a loan of the light of his lampion,
off one of her swapsons, Shaun the Post, and then she went and
consulted her chapboucqs, old Mot Moore, Casey's Euclid and the
Fashion Display and made herself tidal to join in the mascarete. O gig
goggle of gigguels. I can't tell you how! It's too screaming to rizo, rabbit
it all! Minneha, minnehi minaaehe, minneho! O but you must, you must
really! Make my hear it gurgle gurgle, like the farest gargle gargle in the
dusky dirgle dargle! By the holy well of Mulhuddart I swear I'd pledge
my chanza getting to heaven through Tirry and Killy's mount of impiety
to hear it all, aviary word! O, leave me my faculties, woman, a while! If
you don't like my story get out of the punt. Well, have it your own way,
so. Here, sit down and do as you're bid. Take my stroke and bend to
your bow. Forward in and pull your overthepoise! Lisp it slaney and
crisp it quiet. Deel me longsome. Tongue your time now. Breathe thet
deep. Thouat's the fairway. Hurry slow and scheldt you go. Lynd us
your blessed ashes here till I scrub the canon's underpants. Flow now.
Ower more. And pooleypooley.

    First she let her hair fal and down it flussed to her feet its teviots
winding coils. Then, mothernaked, she sampood herself with galawater
and fraguant pistania mud, wupper and lauar, from crown to sole. Next
she greesed the groove of her keel, warthes and wears and mole and
itcher, with antifouling butterscatch and turfentide and serpenthyme and
with leafmould she ushered round prunella isles and eslats dun,
quincecunct, allover her little mary. Peeld gold of waxwork her
jellybelly and her grains of incense anguille bronze. And after that she
wove a garland for her hair. She pleated it. She plaited it. Of
meadowgrass and riverflags, the bulrush and waterweed, and of fallen
griefs of weeping willow. Then she made her bracelets and her anklets
and her armlets and a jetty amulet for necklace of clicking cobbles and
pattering pebbles and rumbledown rubble, richmond and rehr, of Irish
rhunerhinerstones and shellmarble bangles. That done, a dawk of smut
to her airy ey, Annushka Lutetiavitch Pufflovah, and the lellipos cream
to her lippeleens and the pick of the paintbox for her pommettes, from
strawbirry reds to extra violates, and she sendred her boudeloire maids
to His Affluence, Ciliegia Grande and Kirschie Real, the two chirsines,
with respecks from his missus, seepy and sewery, and a request might
she passe of him for a minnikin. A call to pay and light a taper, in Brie-
on-Arrosa, back in a sprizzling. The cock striking mine, the stalls
bridely sign, there's Zambosy waiting for Me! She said she wouldn't be
half her length away. Then, then, as soon as the lump his back was
turned, with her mealiebag slang over her shulder, Anna Livia,
oysterface, forth of her bassein came.

    Describe her! Hustle along, why can't you? Spitz on the iern while
it's hot. I wouldn't miss her for irthing on nerthe. Not for the lucre of
lomba strait. Oceans of Gaud, I mosel hear that! Ogowe presta! Leste,
before Julia sees her! Ishekarry and washemeskad, the carishy
caratimaney? Whole lady fair? Duodecimoroon? Bon a ventura?
Malagassy? What had she on, the liddel oud oddity? How much did she
scallop, harness and weights? Here she is, Amnisty Ann! Call her
calamity electrifies man.

    No electress at all but old Moppa Necessity, angin mother of injons.
I'll tell you a test. But you must sit still. Will you hold your peace and
listen well to what I am going to say now? It might have been ten or
twenty to one of the night of Allclose or the nexth of April when the flip
of her hoogly igloo flappered and out toetippit a bushman woman, the
dearest little moma ever you saw, nodding around her, all smiles, with
ems of embarras and aues to awe, between two ages, a judyqueen, not
up to your elb. Quick, look at her cute and saise her quirk for the bicker
she lives the slicker she grows. Save us and tagus! No more? Werra
where in ourthe did you ever pick a Lambay chop as big as a battering
ram? Ay, you're right. I'm epte to forgetting, Like Liviam Liddle did
Loveme Long. The linth of my hough, I say! She wore a ploughboy's
nailstudded clogs, a pair of ploughfields in themselves: a sugarloaf hat
with a gaudyquiviry peak and a band of gorse for an arnoment and a
hundred streamers dancing off it and a guildered pin to pierce it:
owlglassy bicycles boggled her eyes: and a fishnetzeveil for the sun not
to spoil the wrinklings of her hydeaspects: potatorings boucled the loose
laubes   of   her    laudsnarers:    her   nude    cuba    stockings    were
salmospotspeckled: she sported a galligo shimmy of hazevaipar tinto
that never was fast till it ran in the washing: stout stays, the rivals, lined
her length: her bloodorange bockknickers, a two in one garment,
showed natural nigger boggers, fancyfastened, free to undo: her
blackstripe tan joseph was sequansewn and teddybearlined, with wavy
rushgreen epaulettes and a leadown here and there of royal swansruff: a
brace of gaspers stuck in her hayrope garters: her civvy codroy coat
with alpheubett buttons was boundaried round with a twobar tunnel belt:
a fourpenny bit in each pocketside weighed her safe from the blowaway
windrush; she had a clothespeg tight astride on her joki's nose and she
kep on grinding a sommething quaint in her fiumy mouth and the rrreke
of the fluve of the tail of the gawan of her snuffdrab siouler's skirt
trailed ffiffty odd Irish miles behind her lungarhodes.

    Hellsbells, I'm sorry I missed her! Sweet gumptyum and nobody
fainted! But in whelk of her mouths? Was her naze alight? Everyone
that saw her said the dowce little delia looked a bit queer. Lotsy trotsy,
mind the poddle! Missus, be good and don't fol in the say! Fenny poor
hex she must have charred. Kickhams a frumpier ever you saw! Making
mush mullet's eyes at her boys dobelon. And they crowned her their
chariton queen, all the maids. Of the may? You don't say! Well for her
she couldn't see herself. I recknitz wharfore the darling murrayed her
mirror. She did? Mersey me! There was a koros of drouthdropping
surfacemen,    boomslanging      and   plugchewing,       fruiteyeing   and
flowerfeeding, in contemplation of the fluctuation and the undification
of her filimentation, lolling and leasing on North Lazers' Waal all
eelfare week by the Jukar Yoick's and as soon as they saw her meander
by that marritime way in her grasswinter's weeds and twigged who was
under her archdeaconess bonnet, Avondale's fish and Clarence's poison,
sedges an to aneber, Wit-uponCrutches to Master Bates: Between our
two southsates and the granite they're warming, or her face has been
lifted or Alp has doped!

    But what was the game in her mixed baggyrhatty? Just the tembo in
her tumbo or pilipili from her pepperpot? Saas and taas and specis
bizaas. And where in thunder did she plunder? Fore the battle or efter
the ball? I want to get it frisk from the soorce. I aubette my bearb it's
worth while poaching on! Shake it up, do, do! That's a good old son of a
ditch! I promise I'll make it worth your while. And I don't mean maybe.
Nor yet with a goodfor. Spey me pruth and I'll tale you true.

    Well, arundgirond in a waveney lyne aringarouma she pattered and
swung and sidled, dribbling her boulder through narrowa mosses, the
diliskydrear on our drier side and the vilde vetchvine agin us, curara
here, careero there, not knowing which medway or weser to strike it,
edereider, making chattahoochee all to her ain chichiu, like Santa Claus
at the cree of the pale and puny, nistling to hear for their tiny hearties,
her arms encircling Isolabella, then running with reconciled Romas and
Reims, on like a lech to be off like a dart, then bathing Dirty Hans'
spatters with spittle, with a Christmas box apiece for aisch and iveryone
of her childer, the birthday gifts they dreamt they gabe her, the spoiled
she fleetly laid at our door! On the matt, by the pourch and inunder the
cellar. The rivulets ran aflod to see, the glashaboys, the pollynooties.
Out of the paunschaup on to the pyre. And they all about her, juvenile
leads and ingenuinas, from the slime of their slums and artesaned
wellings, rickets and riots, like the Smyly boys at their vicereine's levee.
Vivi vienne, little Annchen! Vielo Anna, high life! Sing us a sula, O,
susuria! Ausone sidulcis! Hasn't she tambre! Chipping her and raising a
bit of a chir or a jary every dive she'd neb in her culdee sacco of
wabbash she raabed and reach out her maundy meerschaundize, poor
souvenir as per ricorder and all for sore aringarung, stinkers and heelers,
laggards and primelads, her furzeborn sons and dribblederry daughters,
a thousand and one of them, and wickerpotluck for each of them. For
evil and ever. And kiks the buch. A tinker's bann and a barrow to boil
his billy for Gipsy Lee; a cartridge of cockaleekie soup for Chummy the
Guardsman; for sulky Pender's acid nephew deltoid drops, curiously
strong; a cough and a rattle and wildrose cheeks for poor Piccolina
Petite MacFarlane; a jigsaw puzzle of needles and pins and blankets and
shins between them for Isabel, Jezebel and Llewelyn Mmarriage; a
brazen nose and pigiron mittens for Johnny Walker Beg; a papar flag of
the saints and stripes for Kevineen O'Dea; a puffpuff for Pudge Craig
and a nightmarching hare for Techertim Tombigby; waterleg and
gumboots each for Bully Hayes and Hurricane Hartigan; a prodigal
heart and fatted calves for Buck Jones, the pride of Clonliffe; a loaf of
bread and a father's early aim for Val from Skibereen; a jauntingcar for
Larry Doolin, the Ballyclee jackeen; a seasick trip on a government ship
for Teague O'Flanagan; a louse and trap for Jerry Coyle; slushmincepies
for Andy Mackenzie; a hairclip and clackdish for Penceless Peter; that
twelve sounds look for G. V. Brooke; a drowned doll, to face
downwards for modest Sister Anne Mortimer; altar falls for Blanchisse's
bed; Wildairs' breechettes for Magpeg Woppington; to Sue Dot a big
eye; to Sam Dash a false step; snakes in clover, picked and scotched,
and a vaticanned viper catcher's visa for Patsy Presbys; a reiz every
morning for Standfast Dick and a drop every minute for Stumblestone
Davy; scruboak beads for beatified Biddy; two appletweed stools for
Eva Mobbely; for Saara Philpot a jordan vale tearorne; a pretty box of
Pettyfib's Powder for Eileen Aruna to whiten her teeth and outflash
Helen Arhone; a whippingtop for Eddy Lawless; for Kitty Coleraine of
Butterman's Lane a penny wise for her foolish pitcher; a putty shovel for
Terry the Puckaun; an apotamus mask for Promoter Dunne; a niester
egg with a twicedated shell and a dynamight right for Pavl the Curate; a
collera morbous for Mann in the Cloack; a starr and girton for Draper
and Deane; for Will-of-the-Wisp and Barny-the-Bark two mangolds
noble to sweeden their bitters; for Oliver Bound a way in his frey; for
Seumas, thought little, a crown he feels big; a tibertine's pile with a
Congoswood cross on the back for Sunny Twimjim; a praises be and
spare me days for Brian-the Bravo; penteplenty of pity with lubilashings
of lust for Olona Lena Magdalena; for Camilla, Dromilla, Ludmilla,
Mamilla, a bucket, a packet, a book and a pillow; for Nancy Shannon a
Tuami brooch; for Dora Riparia Hopeandwater a cooling douche and a
warmingpan; a pair of Blarney braggs for Wally Meagher; a hairpin
slatepencil for Elsie Oram to scratch her toby, doing her best with her
volgar fractions; an old age pension for Betty Bellezza; a bag of the
blues for Funny Fitz; a Missa pro Messa for Taff de Taff; Jill, the spoon
of a girl, for Jack, the broth of a boy; a Rogerson Crusoe's Friday fast
for Caducus Angelus Rubiconstein; three hundred and sixtysix poplin
tyne for revery warp in the weaver's woof for Victor Hugonot; a stiff
steaded rake and good varians muck for Kate the Cleaner; a hole in the
ballad for Hosty; two dozen of cradles for J.F.X.P. Coppinger;
tenpounten on the pop for the daulphins born with five spoiled squibs
for Infanta; a letter to last a lifetime for Maggi beyond by the ashpit; the
heftiest frozenmeat woman from Lusk to Livienbad for Felim the Ferry;
spas and speranza and symposium's syrup for decayed and blind and
gouty Gough; a change of naves and joys of ills for Armoricus Tristram
Amoor Saint Lawrence; a guillotine shirt for Reuben Redbreast and
hempen suspendeats for Brennan on the Moor; an oakanknee for
Conditor Sawyer and musquodoboits for Great Tropical Scott; a C3
peduncle for Karmalite Kane; a sunless map of the month, including the
sword and stamps, for Shemus O'Shaun the Post; a jackal with hide for
Browne but Nolan; a stonecold shoulder for Donn Joe Vance; all lock
and no stable for Honorbright Merreytrickx; a big drum for Billy
Dunboyne; a guilty goldeny bellows, below me blow me, for Ida Ida
and a hushaby rocker, Elletrouvetout, for Who-issilvier — Where-is-
he?; whatever you like to swilly to swash, Yuinness or Yennessy,
Laagen or Niger, for Festus King and Roaring Peter and Frisky Shorty
and Treacle Tom and O. B. Behan and Sully the Thug and Master
Magrath and Peter Cloran and O'Delawarr Rossa and Nerone
MacPacem and whoever you chance to meet knocking around; and a
pig's bladder balloon for Selina Susquehanna Stakelum. But what did
she give to Pruda Ward and Katty Kanel and Peggy Quilty and Briery
Brosna and Teasy Kieran and Ena Lappin and Muriel Maassy and Zusan
Camac and Melissa Bradogue and Flora Ferns and Fauna Fox-Goodman
and Grettna Greaney and Penelope Inglesante and Lezba Licking like
Leytha Liane and Roxana Rohan with Simpatica Sohan and Una Bina
Laterza and Trina La Mesme and Philomena O'Farrell and Irmak Elly
and Josephine Foyle and Snakeshead Lily and Fountainoy Laura and
Marie Xavier Agnes Daisy Frances de Sales Macleay? She gave them
ilcka madre's daughter a moonflower and a bloodvein: but the grapes
that ripe before reason to them that devide the vinedress. So on Izzy, her
shamemaid, love shone befond her tears as from Shem, her penmight,
life past befoul his prime.

    My colonial, wardha bagful! A bakereen's dusind with tithe tillies to
boot. That's what you may call a tale of a tub! And Hibernonian market!
All that and more under one crinoline envelope if you dare to break the
porkbarrel seal. No wonder they'd run from her pison plague. Throw us
your hudson soap for the honour of Clane! The wee taste the water left.
I'll raft it back, first thing in the marne. Merced mulde! Ay, and don't
forget the reckitts I lohaned you. You've all the swirls your side of the
current. Well, am I to blame for that if I have? Who said you're to blame
for that if you have? You're a bit on the sharp side. I'm on the wide.
Only snuffers' cornets drifts my way that the cracka dvine chucks out of
his cassock, with her estheryear's marsh narcissus to make him recant
his vanitty fair. Foul strips of his chinook's bible I do be reading,
dodwell disgustered but chickled with chuckles at the tittles is drawn on
the tattlepage. Senior ga dito: Faciasi Omo! E omo fu fò. Ho! Ho!
Senior ga dito: Faciasi Hidamo! Hidamo se ga facessà. Ha! Ha! And
Die Windermere Dichter and Lefanu (Sheridan's) old House by the
Coachyard and Mill (J.) On Woman with Ditto on the Floss. Ja, a
swamp for Altmuehler and a stone for his flossies! I know how racy
they move his wheel. My hands are blawcauld between isker and suda
like that piece of pattern chayney there, lying below. Or where is it?
Lying beside the sedge I saw it. Hoangho, my sorrow, I've lost it!
Aimihi! With that turbary water who could see? So near and yet so far!
But O, gihon! I lovat a gabber. I could listen to maure and moravar
again. Regn onder river. Flies do your float. Thick is the life for mere.

    Well, you know or don't you kennet or haven't I told you every
telling has a taling and that's the he and the she of it. Look, look, the
dusk is growing! My branches lofty are taking root. And my cold cher's
gone ashley. Fieluhr? Filou! What age is at? It saon is late. 'Tis endless
now senne eye or erewone last saw Waterhouse's clogh. They took it
asunder, I hurd thum sigh. When will they reassemble it? O, my back,
my back, my bach! I'd want to go to Aches-les-Pains. Pingpong! There's
the Belle for Sexaloitez! And Concepta de Send-us-pray! Pang! Wring
out the clothes! Wring in the dew! Godavari, vert the showers! And
grant thaya grace! Aman. Will we spread them here now? Ay, we will.
Flip! Spread on your bank and I'll spread mine on mine. Flep! It's what
I'm doing. Spread! It's churning chill. Der went is rising. I'll lay a few
stones on the hostel sheets. A man and his bride embraced between
them. Else I'd have sprinkled and folded them only. And I'll tie my
butcher's apron here. It's suety yet. The strollers will pass it by. Six
shifts, ten kerchiefs, nine to hold to the fire and this for the code, the
convent napkins, twelve, one baby's shawl. Good mother Jossiph
knows, she said. Whose head? Mutter snores? Deataceas! Wharnow are
alle her childer, say? In kingdome gone or power to come or gloria be to
them farther? Allalivial, allalluvial! Some here, more no more, more
again lost alla stranger. I've heard tell that same brooch of the Shannons
was married into a family in Spain. And all the Dunders de Dunnes in
Markland's Vineland beyond Brendan's herring pool takes number nine
in yangsee's hats. And one of Biddy's beads went bobbing till she
rounded up lost histereve with a marigold and a cobbler's candle in a
side strain of a main drain of a manzinahurries off Bachelor's Walk. But
all that's left to the last of the Meaghers in the loup of the years prefixed
and between is one kneebuckle and two hooks in the front. Do you tell
me that now? I do in troth. Orara por Orbe and poor Las Animas! Ussa,
Ulla, we're umbas all! Mezha, didn't you hear it a deluge of times, ufer
and ufer, respund to spond? You deed, you deed! I need, I need! It's that
irrawaddyng I've stoke in my aars. It all but husheth the lethest
zswound. Oronoko! What's your trouble? Is that the great Finnleader
himself in his joakimono on his statue riding the high horse there
forehengist? Father of Otters, it is himself! Yonne there! Isset that? On
Fallareen Common? You're thinking of Astley's Amphitheayter where
the bobby restrained you making sugarstuck pouts to the ghostwhite
horse of the Peppers. Throw the cobwebs from your eyes, woman, and
spread your washing proper! It's well I know your sort of slop. Flap!
Ireland sober is Ireland stiff. Lord help you, Maria, full of grease, the
load is with me! Your prayers. I sonht zo! Madammangut! Were you
lifting your elbow, tell us, glazy cheeks, in Conway's Carrigacurra
canteen? Was I what, hobbledyhips? Flop! Your rere gait's
creakorheuman bitts your butts disagrees. Amn't I up since the damp
dawn, marthared mary allacook, with Corrigan's pulse and varicoarse
veins, my pramaxle smashed, Alice Jane in decline and my oneeyed
mongrel twice run over, soaking and bleaching boiler rags, and sweating
cold, a widow like me, for to deck my tennis champion son, the
laundryman with the lavandier flannels? You won your limpopo limp
fron the husky hussars when Collars and Cuffs was heir to the town and
your slur gave the stink to Carlow. Holy Scamander, I sar it again! Near
the golden falls. Icis on us! Seints of light! Zezere! Subdue your noise,
you hamble creature! What is it but a blackburry growth or the
dwyergray ass them four old codgers owns. Are you meanam Tarpey
and Lyons and Gregory? I meyne now, thank all, the four of them, and
the roar of them, that draves that stray in the mist and old Johnny
MacDougal along with them. Is that the Poolbeg flasher beyant,
pharphar, or a fireboat coasting nyar the Kishtna or a glow I behold
within a hedge or my Garry come back from the Indes? Wait till the
honeying of the lune, love! Die eve, little eve, die! We see that wonder
in your eye. We'll meet again, we'll part once more. The spot I'll seek if
the hour you'll find. My chart shines high where the blue milk's upset.
Forgivemequick, I'm going! Bubye! And you, pluck your watch,
forgetmenot. Your evenlode. So save to jurna's end! My sights are
swimming thicker on me by the shadows to this place. I sow home
slowly now by own way, moyvalley way. Towy I too, rathmine.

   Ah, but she was the queer old skeowsha anyhow, Anna Livia,
trinkettoes! And sure he was the quare old buntz too, Dear Dirty
Dumpling, foostherfather of fingalls and dotthergills. Gammer and
gaffer we're all their gangsters. Hadn't he seven dams to wive him? And
every dam had her seven crutches. And every crutch had its seven hues.
And each hue had a differing cry. Sudds for me and supper for you and
the doctor's bill for Joe John. Befor! Bifur! He married his markets,
cheap by foul, I know, like any Etrurian Catholic Heathen, in their
pinky limony creamy birnies and their turkiss indienne mauves. But at
milkidmass who was the spouse? Then all that was was fair. Tys
Elvenland! Teems of times and happy returns. The seim anew. Ordovico
or viricordo. Anna was, Livia is, Plurabelle's to be. Northmen's thing
made southfolk's place but howmulty plurators made eachone in
person? Latin me that, my trinity scholard, out of eure sanscreed into
oure eryan! Hircus Civis Eblanensis! He had buckgoat paps on him, soft
ones for orphans. Ho, Lord! Twins of his bosom. Lord save us! And ho!
Hey? What all men. Hot? His tittering daughters of. Whawk?

   Can't hear with the waters of. The chittering waters of. Flittering
bats, fieldmice bawk talk. Ho! Are you not gone ahome? What Thom
Malone? Can't hear with bawk of bats, all thim liffeying waters of. Ho,
talk save us! My foos won't moos. I feel as old as yonder elm. A tale
told of Shaun or Shem? All Livia's daughtersons. Dark hawks hear us.
Night! Night! My ho head halls. I feel as heavy as yonder stone. Tell me
of John or Shaun? Who were Shem and Shaun the living sons or
daughters of? Night now! Tell me, tell me, tell me, elm! Night night!
Telmetale of stem or stone. Beside the rivering waters of,
hitherandthithering waters of. Night!
Book II
   Chapter 1




   Every evening at lighting up o'clock sharp and until further notice in
Feenichts Playhouse. (Bar and conveniences always open, Diddlem
Club douncestears.) Entrancings: gads, a scrab; the quality, one large
shilling. Newly billed for each wickeday perfumance. Somndoze
massinees. By arraignment, childream's hours, expercatered. Jampots,
rinsed porters, taken in token. With nightly redistribution of parts and
players by the puppetry producer and daily dubbing of ghosters, with
the benediction of the Holy Genesius Archimimus and under the
distinguished patronage of their Elderships the Oldens from the four
coroners of Findrias, Murias, Gorias and Falias, Messoirs the Coarbs,
Clive Sollis, Galorius Kettle, Pobiedo Lancey and Pierre Dusort, while
the Caesar-in-Chief looks. On. Sennet. As played to the Adelphi by the
Brothers Bratislavoff (Hyrcan and Haristobulus), after humpteen
dumpteen revivals. Before all the King's Hoarsers with all the Queen's
Mum.      And    wordloosed      over    seven    seas     crowdblast     in
cellelleneteutoslavzendlatinsoundscript. In four tubbloids. While fern
may cald us until firn make cold. The Mime of Mick, Nick and the
Maggies, adopted from the Ballymooney Bloodriddon Murther by
Bluechin Blackdillain (authorways 'Big Storey'), featuring:

    GLUGG (Mr Seumas McQuillad, hear the riddles between the robot
in his dress circular and the gagster in the rogues' gallery), the bold bad
bleak boy of the storybooks, who, when the tabs go up, as we discover,
because he knew to mutch, has been divorced into disgrace court by

    THE    FLORAS       (Girl   Scouts   from    St.     Bride's   Finishing
Establishment, demand acidulateds), a month's bunch of pretty maidens
who, while they pick on her, their pet peeve, form with valkyrienne
licence the guard for
    IZOD (Miss Butys Pott, ask the attendantess for a leaflet), a
bewitching blonde who dimples delightfully and is approached in
loveliness only by her grateful sister reflection in a mirror, the cloud of
the opal, who, having jilted Glugg, is being fatally fascinated by

    CHUFF (Mr Sean O'Mailey, see the chalk and sanguine pictograph
on the safety drop), the fine frank fairhaired fellow of the fairytales,
who wrestles for tophole with the bold bad bleak boy Glugg, geminally
about caps or puds or tog bags or bog gats or chuting rudskin gunerally
or something, until they adumbrace a pattern of somebody else or other,
after which they are both carried off the set and brought home to be well
soaped, sponged and scrubbed again by

    ANN (Miss Corrie Corriendo, Grischun scoula, bring the babes,
Pieder, Poder and Turtey, she mistributes mandamus monies, after
perdunamento, hendrud aloven entrees, pulcinellis must not miss our
national rooster's rag), their poor little old mother-inlieu, who is woman
of the house, playing opposite to

    HUMP (Mr Makeall Gone, read the sayings from Laxdalesaga in
the programme about King Ericus of Schweden and the spirit's whispers
in his magical helmet), cap-a-pipe with watch and topper, coat, crest and
supporters, the cause of all our grievances, the whirl, the flash and the
trouble, who, having partially recovered from a recent impeachment due
to egg everlasting, but throughandthoroughly proconverted, propounded
for cyclological, is, studding sail once more, jibsheets and royals, in the
semblance of the substance for the membrance of the umbrance with the
remnance of the emblence reveiling a quemdam supercargo, of The
Rockery, Poopinheavin, engaged in entertaining in his pilgrimst
customhouse at Caherlehome-upon-Eskur those statutory persons

    THE CUSTOMERS (Components of the Afterhour Courses at St.
Patricius' Academy for Grownup Gentlemen, consult the annuary,
coldporters sibsuction), a bundle of a dozen of representative
locomotive civics, each inn quest of outings, who are still more sloppily
served after every cup final by

    SAUNDERSON (Mr Knut Oelsvinger, Tiffsdays off, wouldntstop
in bad, imitation of flatfish, torchbearing supperaape, dud halfsovereign,
no chee daily, rolly pollsies, Glen of the Downs, the Gugnir, his
geyswerks, his earsequack, his lokistroki, o.s.v.), a scherinsheiner and
spoilcurate, unconcerned in the mystery but under the inflounce of the
milldieuw and butt of

    KATE (Miss Rachel Lea Varian, she tells forkings for baschfellors,
under purdah of card palmer teaput tosspot Madam d'Elta, during the
pawses), kook-and-dishdrudge, whitch believes wanthingthats, whouse
be the churchyard or whorts up the aasgaars, the show must go on.

    Time: the pressant.

    With futurist onehorse balletbattle pictures and the Pageant of Past
History   worked up with animal variations amid everglaning
mangrovemazes and beorbtracktors by Messrs Thud and Blunder.
Shadows by the film folk, masses by the good people. Promptings by
Elanio Vitale. Longshots, upcloses, outblacks and stagetolets by
Hexenschuss, Coachmaher, Incubone and Rocknarrag. Creations
tastefully designed by Madame Berthe Delamode. Dances arranged by
Harley Quinn and Coollimbeina. Jests, jokes, jigs and jorums for the
Wake lent from the properties of the late cemented Mr T. M. Finnegan
R.I.C. Lipmasks and hairwigs by Ouida Nooikke. Limes and Floods by
Crooker and Toll. Kopay pibe by Kappa Pedersen. Hoed Pine hat with
twentyfour ventholes by        Morgen. Bosse and stringbag from
Heteroditheroe's and All Ladies' presents. Tree taken for grafted. Rock
rent. Phenecian blends and Sourdanian doofpoosts by Shauvesourishe
and Wohntbedarft. The oakmulberryeke with silktrick twomesh from
Shop-Sowry, seedsmanchap. Grabstone beg from General Orders
Mailed. The crack (that's Cork!) by a smoker from the gods. The
interjection (Buckley!) by the fire ment in the pit. Accidental music
providentially arranged by L'Archet and Laccorde. Melodiotiosities in
purefusion by the score. To start with in the beginning, we need hirtly
bemark, a community prayer, everyone for himself, and to conclude
with as an exodus, we think it well to add, a chorale in canon, good for
us all for us all us all all. Songs betune the acts by the ambiamphions of
Annapolis, Joan MockComic, male soprano, and Jean Souslevin, bass
noble, respectively: O, Mester Sogermon, ef thes es whot ye deux, then
I'm not surpleased ye want that bottle of Sauvequipeu and Oh Off
Nunch Der Rasche Ver Lasse Mitsch Nitscht. Till the summit scenes of
climbacks    castastrophear,   The     Bearded    Mountain     (Polymop
Baretherootsch), and The River Romps to Nursery (Maidykins in
Undiform). The whole thugogmagog, including the portions understood
to be oddmitted as the results of the respective titulars neglecting to
produce themselves, to be wound up for an afterenactment by a
Magnificent Transformation Scene showing the Radium Wedding of
Neid and Moorning and the Dawn of Peace, Pure, Perfect and Perpetual,
Waking the Weary of the World.

    An argument follows.

    Chuffy was a nangel then and his soard fleshed light like likening.
Fools top! Singty, sangty, meekly loose, defendy nous from
prowlabouts. Make a shine on the curst. Emen.

    But the duvlin sulph was in Glugger, that lost-to-lurning. Punct. He
was sbuffing and sputing, tussing like anisine, whipping his eyesoult
and gnatsching his teats over the brividies from existers and the outher
liubbocks of life. He halth kelchy chosen a clayblade and makes prayses
to his three of clubs. To part from these, my corsets, is into overlusting
fear. Acts of feet, hoof and jarrety: athletes longfoot. Djowl, uphere!

    Aminxt that nombre of evelings, but how pierceful in their
sojestiveness were those first girly stirs, with zitterings of flight released
and twinglings of twitchbells in rondel after, with waverings that made
shimmershake rather naightily all the duskcended airs and shylit
beaconings from shehind hims back. Sammy, call on. Mirrylamb, she
was shuffering all the diseasinesses of the unherd of. Mary Louisan
Shousapinas! If Arck could no more salve his agnols from the wiles of
willy wooly woolf! If all the airish signics of her dipandump helpabit
from an Father Hogam till the Mutther Masons could not that Glugg to
catch her by the calour of her brideness! Not Rose, Sevilla nor
Citronelle; not Esmeralde, Pervinca nor Indra; not Viola even nor all of
them four themes over. But, the monthage stick in the melmelode jawr,
I am (twintomine) all thees thing. Up tighty in the front, down again on
the loose, drim and drumming on her back and a pop from her whistle.
What is that, O holytroopers? Isot givin yoe?

    Up he stulpled, glee you gees, with search a fling did die near sea,
beamy owen and calmy hugh and if you what you my call for me I will
wishyoumaycull for you.

    And they are met, face a facing. They are set, force to force. And no
such Copenhague-Marengo was less so fated for a fall since in
Glenasmole of Smiling Thrushes Patch Whyte passed O'Sheen ascowl.

    Arrest thee, scaldbrother! came the evangelion, sabre accusant, from
all Saint Joan's Wood to kill or maim him, and be dumm but ill
s'arrested. Et would proffer to his delected one the his trifle from the
grass.

    A space. Who are you? The cat's mother. A time. What do you lack?
The look of a queen.

    But what is that which is one going to prehend? Seeks, buzzling is
brains, the feinder.

    The howtosayto itiswhatis hemustwhomust worden schall. A
darktongues, kunning. O theoperil! Ethiaop lore, the poor lie. He askit
of the hoothed fireshield but it was untergone into the matthued heaven.
He soughed it from the luft but that bore ne mark ne message. He luked
upon the bloomingrund where ongly his corns were growning. At last he
listed back to beckline how she pranked alone so johntily. The skand for
schooling.

   With nought a wired from the wordless either.

   Item. He was hardset then. He wented to go (somewhere) while he
was weeting. Utem. He wished to grieve on the good persons, that is the
four gentlemen. Otem. And it was not a long time till he was feeling
true forim he was goodda purssia and it was short after that he was
fooling mehaunt to mehynte he was an injine ruber. Etem. He was at his
thinker's aunts to give (the four gentlemen) the presence (of a curpse).
And this is what he would be willing. He fould the fourd; they found
the hurtled stones; they fell ill with the gravy duck: and he sod town
with the roust of the meast. Atem.

   Towhere byhangs ourtales.

   Ah ho! This poor Glugg! It was so said of him about of his old
fontmouther. Truly deplurabel! A dire, O dire! And all the
freightfullness whom he inhebited after his colline born janitor.
Sometime towerable! With that hehry antlets on him and the baublelight
bulching out of his sockets whiling away she sprankled his allover with
her noces of interregnation: How do you do that lack a lock and pass the
poker, please? And bids him tend her, lute and airly. Sing, sweetharp,
thing to me anone! So that Glugg, the poor one, in that limbopool which
was his subnesciousness he could scares of all knotknow whither his
morrder had bourst a blabber or if the vogalstones that hit his tynpan
was that mearly his skoll missed her. Misty's trompe or midst his
flooting? Ah, ho! Cicely, awe!

    The youngly delightsome frilles-in-pleyurs are now showen drawen,
if bud one, or, if in florileague, drawens up consociately at the hinder
sight of their commoner guardian. Her boy fiend or theirs, if they are so
plurielled, cometh up as a trapadour, sinking how he must fand for
himself by gazework what their colours wear as they are all showen
drawens up. Tireton, cacheton, tireton, ba! Doth that not satisfy youth,
sir? Quanty purty bellas, here, Madama Lifay! And what are you going
to charm them to, Madama, do say? Cinderynelly angled her slipper; it
was cho chiny yet braught her a groom. He will angskt of them from
their commoner guardian at next lineup (who is really the rapier of the
two though thother brother can hold his own, especially for he
bandished it with his hand the hold time, mamain, a simply gracious:
Mi, O la!), and reloose that thong off his art: Hast thou feel liked
carbunckley ones? Apun which his poohoor pricoxity theirs is a little
tittertit of hilarity (Lad-o'-me-soul! Lad-o'-me-soul, see!) and the
wordchary is atvoiced ringsoundinly by their toots ensembled, though
not meaning to be clever, but just with a shrug of their hips to go to troy
and harff a freak at himself by all that story to the ulstramarines.
Otherwised, holding their noises, they insinuate quiet private, Ni, he
make peace in his preaches and play with esteem.

    Warewolff! Olff! Toboo!
    So olff for his topheetuck the ruck made raid, aslick aslegs would
run; and he ankered on his hunkers with the belly belly prest. Asking:
What's my muffinstuffinaches for these times? To weat: Breath and
bother and whatarcurss. Then breath more bother and more whatarcurss.
Then no breath no bother but worrawarrawurms. And Shim shallave
shome.

    As Rigagnolina to Mountagnone, what she meaned he could not
can. All she meaned was golten sylvup, all she meaned was some
Knight's ploung jamn. It's driving her dafft like he's so dumnb. If he'd
lonely talk instead of only gawk as thought yateman hat stuck hits stick
althrough his spokes and if he woold nut wolly so! Hee. Speak, sweety
bird! Mitzymitzy! Though I did ate tough turf I'm not the bogdoxy.

    Have you monbreamstone?

    No.

    or Hellfeuersteyn?

    No.

    Or Van Diemen's coral pearl?

    No.

    He has lost.

    Off to clutch, Glugg! Forwhat! Shape your reres, Glugg! Foreweal!
Ring we round, Chuff! Fairwell! Chuffchuff's inners even. All's rice
with their whorl!
    Yet, ah tears, who can her mater be? She's promised he'd eye her.
To try up her pretti. But now it's so longed and so fared and so forth.
Jerry for jauntings. Alabye! Fled.

    The flossies all and mossies all they drooped upon her draped
brimfall. The bowknots, the showlots, they wilted into woeblots. The
pearlagraph, the pearlagraph, knew whitchly whether to weep or laugh.
For always down in Carolinas lovely Dinahs vaunt their view.

    Poor Isa sits a glooming so gleaming in the gloaming; the tincelles a
touch tarnished wind no lovelinoise awound her swan's. Hey, lass!
Woefear gleam she so glooming, this pooripathete I solde? Her
beauman's gone of a cool. Be good enough to symperise. If he's at
anywhere she's therefor to join him. If it's to nowhere she's going to too.
Buf if he'll go to be a son to France's she'll stay daughter of Clare. Bring
tansy, throw myrtle, strew rue, rue, rue. She is fading out like Journee's
clothes so you can't see her now. Still we know how Day the Dyer
works, in dims and deeps and dusks and darks. And among the shades
that Eve's now wearing she'll meet anew fiancy, tryst and trow. Mammy
was, Mimmy is, Minuscoline's to be. In the Dee dips a dame and the
dame desires a demselle but the demselle dresses dolly and the dolly
does a dulcydamble. The same renew. For though she's unmerried she'll
after truss up and help that hussyband how to hop. Hip it and trip it and
chirrub and sing. Lord Chuffy's sky sheraph and Glugg's got to swing.
    So and so, toe by toe, to and fro they go round, for they are the
ingelles, scattering nods as girls who may, for they are an angel's
garland.

    Catchmire stockings, libertyed garters, shoddyshoes, quicked out
with selver. Pennyfair caps on pinnyfore frocks and a ring on her
fomefing finger. And they leap so looply, looply, as they link to light.
And they look so loovely, loovelit, noosed in a nuptious night. Withasly
glints in. Andecoy glants out. They ramp it a little, a lessle, a lissle.
Then rompride round in rout.

    Say them all but tell them apart, cadenzando coloratura! R is
Rubretta and A is Arancia, Y is for Yilla and N for greeneriN. B is
Boyblue with odalisque O while W waters the fleurettes of
novembrance. Though they're all but merely a schoolgirl yet these way
went they. I' th' view o' th'avignue dancing goes entrancing roundly.
Miss Oodles of Anems before the Luvium doeslike. So. And then again
doeslike. So. And miss Endles of Eons efter Dies of Eirae doeslike. So.
And then again doeslike. So. The many wiles of Winsure.

    The grocer's bawd she slips her hand in the haricot bag, the lady in
waiting sips her sup from the paraffin can, Mrs Wildhare Quickdoctor
helts her skelts up the casuaway the flasht instinct she herds if a tinkle
of tunder, the widow Megrievy she knits cats' cradles, this bountiful
actress leashes a harrier under her tongue, and here's the girl who she's
kneeled in coldfashion and she's told her priest (spt!) she's pot on a chap
(chp!) and this lass not least, this rickissime woman, who she writes foot
fortunes money times over in the nursery dust with her capital thumb.
Buzz. All runaway sheep bound back bopeep, trailing their teenes
behind them. And these ways wend they. And those ways went they.
Winnie, Olive and Beatrice, Nelly and Ida, Amy and Rue. Here they
come back, all the gay pack, for they are the florals, from foncey and
pansey to papavere's blush, foresake-me-nought, while there's leaf
there's hope, with primtim's ruse and marrymay's blossom, all the
flowers of the ancelles' garden.

    But vicereversing thereout from those palms of perfection to anger
arbour, treerack monatan, scroucely out of scout of ocean, virid with
woad, what tornaments of complementary rages rocked the divlun from
his punchpoll to his tummy's shentre as he displaid all the oathword
science of his visible disgrace. He was feeling so funny and floored for
the cue, all over which girls as he don't know whose hue. If goosseys
gazious would but fain smile him a smile he would be fondling a praise
he ate some nice bit of fluff. But no geste reveals the unconnouth.
They're all odds against him, the beasties. Scratch. Start.

    He dove his head into Wat Murrey, gave Stewart Ryall a puck on
the plexus, wrestled a hurry-come-union with the Gillie Beg, wiped all
his sinses, martial and menial, out of Shrove Sundy MacFearsome,
excremuncted as freely as any frothblower into MacIsaac, had a belting
bout, chaste to chaste, with McAdoo about nothing and, childhood's age
being aye the shameleast, tel a Tartaran tastarin toothsome tarrascone
tourtoun, vestimentivorous chlamydophagian, imbretellated himself for
any time untellable with what hung over to the Machonochie Middle
from the MacSiccaries of the Breeks. Home!

   Allwhile, moush missuies from mungy monsie, preying in his mind,
son of Everallin, within himself, he swure. Macnoon maggoty mag!
Cross of a coppersmith bishop! He would split. He do big squeal like
holy Trichepatte. Seek hells where from yank islanders the petriote's
absolation. Mocknitza! Genik! He take skiff come first dagrene day
overwide tumbler, rough and dark, till when bow of the shower show of
the bower with three shirts and a wind, pagoda permettant,
crookolevante, the bruce, the coriolano and the ignacio. From prudals to
the secular but from the cumman to the nowter. Byebye, Brassolis, I'm
breaving! Our war, Dully Gray! A conansdream of lodascircles, he here
schlucefinis. Gelchasser no more! Mischnary for the minestrary to all
the sems of Aram. Shimach, eon of Era. Mum's for's maxim, ban's for's
book and Dodgesome Dora for hedgehung sheolmastress. And Unkel
Silanse coach in diligence. Disconnection of the succeeding. He
wholehog himself for carberry banishment care of Pencylmania, Bretish
Armerica, to melt Mrs Gloria of the Bunkers' Trust, recorporated,
(prunty!) by meteoromancy and linguified heissrohgin, quit to hail a
hurry laracor and catch the Paname-Turricum and regain that absendee
tarry easty, his citta immediata, by an alley and detour with farecard
awailable getrennty years. Right for Rovy the Roder. From the safe side
of distance! Libera, nostalgia! Beate Laurentie O'Tuli, Euro pra nobis!
Every monk his own cashel where every little ligger is his own
liogotenente with inclined jambs in full purview to his pronaose and to
the deretane at his reredoss. Fuisfinister, fuyerescaper! He would, with
the greatest of ease, before of weighting midhook, by dear home
trashold on the raging canal, for othersites of Jorden, (heave a hevy,
waterboy!) make one of hissens with a knockonacow and a chow
collegions and fire off, gheol ghiornal, foull subustioned mullmud, his
farced epistol to the hibruws. From Cernilius slomtime prepositus of
Toumaria to the clutch in Anteach. Salvo! Ladigs and jointuremen! No
more turdenskaulds! Free leaves for ebribadies! All tinsammon in the
yord! With harm and aches till farther alters! Wild primates not stop
him frem at rearing a writing in handy antics. Nom de plume! Gout
strap Fenlanns! And send Jarge for Mary Inklenders! And daunt you
logh if his vineshanky's schwemmy! For he is the general, make no
mistake in he. He is General Jinglesome.

    Go in for scribenery with the satiety of arthurs in S.P.Q.R.ish and
inform to the old sniggering publicking press and its nation of
sheepcopers about the whole plighty troth between them, malady of
milady made melodi of malodi, she, the lalage of lyonesses, and him,
her knave arrant. To Wildrose La Gilligan from Croppy Crowhore. For
all within crystal range.

    Ukalepe. Loathers' leave. Had Days. Nemo in Patria. The Luncher
Out. Skilly and Carubdish. A Wondering Wreck. From the Mermaids'
Tavern. Bullyfamous. Naughtsycalves. Mother of Misery. Walpurgas
Nackt.
    Maleesh! He would bare to untired world of Leimuncononnulstria
(and what a strip poker globbtrottel they pairs would looks!) how
wholefallows, his guffer, the sabbatarian (might faction split his beard!),
he too had a great big oh in the megafundum of his tomashunders and
how her Lettyshape, his gummer, that congealed sponsar, she had never
cessed at waking malters among the jemassons since the duft that
meataxe delt her made her microchasm as gap as down low. So they
fished in the kettle and fought free and if she bit his tailibout all hat
tiffin for thea. He would jused sit it all write down just as he would
jused set it up all writhefully rate in blotch and void, yielding to no man
in hymns ignorance, seeing how heartsilly sorey he was, owning to the
condrition of his bikestool. And, reading off his fleshskin and writing
with his quillbone, fillfull ninequires with it for his auditers, Caxton and
Pollock, a most moraculous jeeremyhead sindbook for all the peoples,
under the presidency of the suchess of sceaunonsceau, a hadtobe heldin,
thoroughly enjoyed by many so meny on block at Boyrut season and for
their account ottorly admired by her husband in sole intimacy, about
whose told his innersense and the grusomehed's yoeureeke of his
spectrescope and why he was off colour and how he was ambothed
upon by the very spit of himself, first on the cheekside by Michelangelo
and, besouns thats, over on the owld jowly side by Bill C. Babby, and
the suburb's formule why they provencials drollo eggspilled him out of
his homety dometry narrowedknee domum (osco de basco de pesco de
bisco!) because all his creature comfort was an omulette finas erbas in
an ark finis orbe and, no master how mustered, mind never mend, he
could neither swuck in nonneither swimp in the flood of cecialism and
the best and schortest way of blacking out a caughtalock of all the
sorrors of Sexton until he would accoster her coume il fou in teto-dous
as a wagoner would his mudheeldy wheesindonk at their trist in Parisise
after tourments of tosend years, bread cast out on waters, making goods
at mutuurity, Mondamoiseau of Casanuova and Mademoisselle from
Armentières. Neblonovi's Nivonovio! Nobbio and Nuby in ennoviacion!
Occitantitempoli! He would si through severalls of sanctuaries
maywhatmay mightwhomight so as to meet somewhere, if produced, on
a demi panssion for his whole lofetime, payment in goo to slee music
and poisonal comfany, following which, like Ipsey Secumbe, when he
fingon to foil the fluter, she could have all the g. s. M. she moohooed
after fore and rickwards to herslF, including science of sonorous silence,
while he, being brung up on soul butter, have recourse of course to
poetry. With tears for his coronaichon, such as engines weep. Was liffe
worth leaving? Nej!

    Tholedoth, treetrene! Zokrahsing, stone! Arty, reminiscensitive, at
bandstand finale on grand carriero, dreaming largesse of lifesighs over
early lived offs — all old Sators of the Sowsceptre highly nutritius
family histrionic, genitricksling with Avus and Avia, that simple pair,
and descendant down on veloutypads by a vuncular process to Nurus
and Noverca, those notorious nepotists, circumpictified in their sobrine
census, patriss all of them by the glos on their germane faces and their
socerine eyes like transparents of vitricus, patruuts to a man, the
archimade levirs of his ekonome world. Remember thee, castle
throwen? Ones propsperups treed, now stohong baroque. And oil paint
use a pumme if yell trace me there title to where was a hovel not a havel
(the first rattle of his juniverse) with a tingtumtingling and a next, next
and next (gin a paddy? got a petty? gussies, gif it ope?), while itch ish
shome.

    — My God, alas, that dear olt tumtum home

    Whereof in youthfood port I preyed

    Amook the verdigrassy convict vallsall dazes.

    And cloitered for amourmeant in thy boosome shede!

    His mouthfull of ecstasy (for Shing-Yung-Thing in Shina from
Yoruyume across the Timor Sea), herepong (maladventure!) shot
pinging up through the errorooth of his wisdom (who thought him a
Fonar all, feastking of shellies by googling Lovvey, regally freytherem,
eagelly plumed, and wasbut gumboil owrithy prods wretched some
horsery megee plods coffin acid odarkery pluds dense floppens
mugurdy) as thought it had been zawhen intwo. Wholly sanguish
blooded up disconvulsing the fixtures of his fizz. Apang which his
tempory chewer med him a crazy chump of a Haveajube Sillayass.
Joshua Croesus, son of Nunn! Though he shall live for millions of years
a life of billions of years, from their roseaced glows to their violast
lustres, he shall not forget that pucking Pugases. Holihowlsballs and
bloody acres! Like gnawthing unheardth!
    But, by Jove Chronides, Seed of Summ, after at he had bate his
breastplates for, forforget, forforgetting his birdsplace, it was soon that,
that he, that he rehad himself. By a prayer? No, that comes later. By
contrite attrition? Nay, that we passed. Mid esercizism? So is richt.

    And it was so. And Malthos Moramor resumed his soul. With: Go
Ferchios off to Allad out of this! An oldsteinsong. He threwed his fit up
to his aers, rolled his poligone eyes, snivelled from his snose and blew
the guff out of his hornypipe. The hopjoimt jerk of a ladle broom jig
that he learned in locofoco when a redhot turnspite he. Under reign of
old Roastin the Bowl Ratskillers, readyos! Why was that man for he's
doin her wrong! Lookery looks, how he's knots in his entrails! Mookery
mooks, it's a grippe of his gripes. Seekeryseeks, why his biting he's head
off? Cokerycokes, it's his spurt of coal. And may his tarpitch dilute not
give him chromitis! For the mauwe that blinks you blank is mostly
Carbo. Where the inflammabilis might pursuive his comburenda with a
pure flame and a true flame and a flame all toogasser, soot. The worst is
over. Wait! And the dubuny Mag may gang to preesses. With Dinny
Finneen, me canty, ho! In the lost of the gleamens. Sousymoust. For he
would himself deal a treatment as might be trusted in anticipation of his
inculmination unto fructification for the major operation. When (pip!) a
message interfering intermitting interskips from them (pet!) on herzian
waves, (call her venicey names! call her a stell!) a butterfly from her
zipclasped handbag, a wounded dove astarted from, escaping out her
forecotes. Isle wail for yews, O doherlynt! The poetesser. And around
its scorched cap she has twilled a twine of flame to let the laitiest know
she's marrid. And pim it goes backballed. Tot burns it so leste. A
claribel cumbeck to errind. Hers before his even, posted ere penned.
He's your change, thinkyou methim. Go daft noon, madden, mind the
step. Please stoop O to please. Stop. What saying? I have soreunder
from to him now, dearmate ashore, so, so compleasely till I can get
redressed, which means the end of my stays in the languish of
Tintangle. Is you zealous of mes, brother? Did you boo moiety lowd?
You suppoted to be the on conditiously rejected? Satanly, lade! Can that
sobstuff, whingeywilly! Stop up, mavrone, and sit in my lap, Pepette,
though I'd much rather not. Like things are m. ds. is all in vincibles.
Decoded.

    Now a run for his money! Now a dash to her dot! Old cocker, young
crowy sifadda, sosson. A bran new, speedhount, outstripperous on the
wind. Like a waft to wingweary one or a sos to a coastguard. For
directly with his whoop, stop and an upalepsy didando a tishy, in
appreciable less time than it takes a glaciator to submerger an
Atlangthis, was he again, agob, before the trembly ones, a spark's gap
off, doubledasguesched, gotten orlop in a simplasailormade and shaking
the storm out of his hiccups. The smartest vessel you could find would
elazilee him on her knee as her lucky for the Rio Grande. He's a pigtaiI
tarr and if he hadn't got it toothick he'd a telltale tall of his pitcher on a
wall with his photure in the papers for cutting moutonlegs and capers,
letting on he'd jest be japers and his tail cooked up.
    Goal! It's one by its length.

    Angelinas, hide from light those hues that your sin beau may bring
to light! Though down to your dowerstrip he's bent to knee he maun't
know ledgings here.

    For a haunting way will go and you need not make your mow. Find
the frenge for frocks and translace it into shocks of such as touch with
show and show.

    He is guessing at hers for all he is worse, the seagoer. Hark to his
wily geeses goosling by, and playfair, lady! And note that they who will
for exile say can for dog while them that won't leave ingle end says now
for know.

    For he faulters how he hates to trouble them without.

    But leaving codhead's mitre and the heron's plumes sinistrant to the
server of servants and rex of regums and making a bolderdash for
lubberty of speech he asks not have you seen a match being struck nor is
this powder mine but, letting punplays pass to ernest:

    Haps thee jaoneofergs?

    Nao.

    Haps thee mayjaunties?

    Naohao.

    Haps thee per causes nunsibellies?

    Naohaohao.
    Asky, asky, asky! Gau on! Micaco! Get!

   Ping an ping nwan ping pwan pong.

   And he did a get, their anayance, and slink his hook away, aleguere
come alaguerre, like a chimista inchamisas, whom the harricana hurries
and hots foots, zingo, zango, segur. To hoots of utskut, urqurd, jamal,
qum, yallah, yawash, yak! For he could ciappacioppachew upon a skarp
snakk of pure undefallen engelsk, melanmoon or tartatortoise, tsukisaki
or soppisuppon, as raskly and as baskly as your cheesechalk cow cudd
spanich. Makoto! Whagta kriowday! Gelagala nausy is. Yet right
divining do not was. Hovobovo hafogate hokidimatzi in kamicha! He
had his sperrits all foulen on him; to vet, most griposly, he was
bedizzled and debuzzled; he had his tristiest cabaleer on; and looked
like bruddy Hal. A shelling a cockshy and be donkey shot at? Or a peso
besant to join the armada?

   But, Sin Showpanza, could anybroddy which walked this world
with eyes whiteopen have looked twinsomer than the kerl he left behind
him? Candidatus, viridosus, aurilucens, sinelab? Of all the green heroes
everwore coton breiches, the whitemost, the goldenest! How he stud
theirs with himselfs mookst kevinly, and that anterevolitionary, the
churchman childfather from tonsor's tuft to almonder's toes, a
haggiography in duotrigesumy, son soptimost of sire sixtusks, of
Mayaqueenies sign osure, hevnly buddhy time, inwreathed of his near
cissies, a mickly dazzly eely oily with looiscurrals, a soulnetzer by
zvesdals priestessd, their trail the tractive, and dem dandypanies knows
de play of de eyelids, with his gamecox spurts and his smile likequid
glue (the suessiest sourir ever weanling wore), whiles his host of
spritties, lusspillerindernees, they went peahenning a ripidarapidarpad
around him, pilgrim prinkips, kerilour kevinour, in neuchoristic
congressulations, quite purringly excited, rpdrpd, allauding to him by all
the licknames in the litany with the terms in which no little dulsy nayer
ever thinks about implying except to her future's year and sending him
perfume most praypuffs to setisfire more then to teasim (shllwe help,
now you've massmuled, you t'rigolect a bit? yismik? yimissy?) that he,
the finehued, the fairhailed, the farahead, might bouchesave unto each
but everyone, asfar as safras durst assune, the havemercyonhurs of his
kissier licence. Meanings: Andure the enjurious till imbetther rer. We
know you like Latin with essies impures, (and your liber as they sea) we
certney like gurgles love the nargleygargley so, arrahbeejee, tell that old
frankay boyuk to bellows upthe tombucky in his tumtum argan and give
us a gust of his gushy old. Goof!

    Hymnumber twentynine. O, the singing! Happy little girlycums to
have adolphted such an Adelphus! O, the swinginging hopops so
goholden! They've come to chant en chor. They say their salat, the
madiens' prayer to the messiager of His Nabis, prostitating their selfs
eachwise and combinedly. Fateha, fold the hands. Be it honoured, bow
the head. May thine evings e'en be blossful! Even of bliss! As we so
hope for ablution. For the sake of the farbung and of the scent and of the
holiodrops. Amems.
    A pause. Their orison arises misquewhite as Osman glory, ebbing
wasteward, leaves to the soul of light its fading silence (allahlah lahlah
lah!), a turquewashed sky. Then:

    — Xanthos! Xanthos! Xanthos! We thank to thine, mighty innocent,
that diddest bring it off fuitefuite. Should in ofter years it became about
you will after desk jobduty becoming a bank midland mansioner we and
I shall reside with our obeisant servants among Burke's mobility at La
Roseraie, Ailesbury Road. Red bricks are all hellishly good values if
you trust to the roster of ads but we'll save up ourselves and nab what's
nicest and boskiest of timber trees in the nebohood. Oncaill's plot.
Luccombe oaks, Turkish hazels, Greek firs, incense palm edcedras. The
hypsometers of Mount Anville is held to be dying out of arthataxis but,
praise send Larix U' Thule, the wych elm of Manelagh is still
flourishing in the open, because its native of our nature and the seeds
was sent by Fortune. We'll have our private palypeachum pillarposterns
for lovesick letterines fondly affianxed to our front railings and swings,
hammocks, tighttaught balletlines, accomodationnooks and prismic
bathboites, to make Envyeyes mouth water and wonder when they
binocular us from their embrassured windows in our garden rare. Fyat-
Fyat shall be our number on the autokinaton and Chubby in his Chuffs
oursforownly chuffeur. T will be waiting for uns as I sold U at the first
antries. Our cousin gourmand, Percy, the pup, will denounce the
sniffnomers of all callers where among our Seemyease Sister, Tabitha,
the ninelived, will extend to the full her hearthy welcome. While the turf
and twigs they tattle. Tintin tintin. Lady Marmela Shortbred will walk in
for supper with her marchpane switch on, her necklace of almonds and
her poirette Sundae dress with bracelets of honey and her cochineal hose
with the caramel dancings, the briskly best from Bootiestown, and her
suckingstaff of ivorymint. You mustn't miss it or you'll be sorry.
Charmeuses chloes, glycering juwells, lydialight fans and puffumed
cynarettes. And the Prince Le Monade has been graciously pleased. His
six chocolate pages will run bugling before him and Cococream toddle
after with his sticksword in a pink cushion. We think His Sparkling
Headiness ought to know Lady Marmela. Luisome his for lissome hers.
He's not going to Cork till Cantalamesse or mayhope till Rose Easter or
Saint Tibble's Day. So Niomon knows. The Fomor's in his Fin, the
Momor's her and hin. A paaralone! A paaralone! And Dublin's all adin.
We'll sing a song of Singlemonth and you'll too and you'll. Here are
notes. There's the key. One two three. Chours! So come on, ye wealthy
gentrymen wibfrufrocksfull of fun! Thin thin! Thin thin! Thej olly and
thel ively, thou billy with thee coo, for to jog a jig of a crispness nice
and sing a missal too. Hip champouree! Hiphip champouree! O you
longtailed blackman, polk it up behind me! Hip champouree! Hiphip
champouree! And, jessies, push the pumkik round. Anneliuia!

    Since the days of Roamaloose and Rehmoose the pavanos have
been strident through their struts of Chapelldiseut, the vaulsies have
meed and youdled through the purly ooze of Ballybough, many a mismy
cloudy has tripped taintily along that hercourt strayed reelway and the
rigadoons    have      held   ragtimed   revels   on   the   platauplain   of
Grangegorman; and, though since then sterlings and guineas have been
replaced by brooks and lions and some progress has been made on stilts
and the races have come and gone and Thyme, that chef of seasoners,
has made his usual astewte use of endadjustables and whatnot willbe
isnor was, those danceadeils and cancanzanies have come stimmering
down for our begayment through the bedeafdom of po's taeorns, the
obcecity of pa's teapucs, as lithe and limbfree limber as when momie
mummed at ma.

    Just so stylled with the nattes are their flowerheads now and each of
all has a lovestalk onto herself and the tot of all the tits of their
understamens is as open as he can posably she and is tournesoled
straightcut or sidewaist, accourdant to the coursets of things feminite,
towooerds him in heliolatry, so they may catchcup in their calyzettes,
alls they go troping, those parryshoots from his muscalone pistil, for he
can eyespy through them, to their selfcolours, nevertheleast their tissue
peepers, (meaning Mullabury mesh, the time of appling flowers, a
guarded figure of speech, a variety of perfume, a bridawl, seamist inso
one) as leichtly as see saw (O my goodmiss! O my greatmess! O my
prizelestly preshoes!) while, dewyfully as dimb dumbelles, all alisten to
his elixir. Lovelyt!

    And they said to him:

    — Enchainted, dear sweet Stainusless, young confessor, dearer
dearest, we herehear, aboutobloss, O coelicola, thee salutamt. Pattern of
our unschoold, pageantmaster, deliverer of softmissives, round the
world in forty mails, bag, belt and balmybeam, our barnaboy, our
chepachap, with that pampipe in your putaway, gab borab, when you
will be after doing all your sightseeing and soundhearing and
smellsniffing and tastytasting and tenderumstouchings in all Daneygaul,
send us, your adorables, thou overblaseed, a wise and letters play of all
you can ceive, chief celtech chappy, from your holy post now you hast
ascertained ceremonially our names. Unclean you art not. Outcaste thou
are not. Leperstower, the karman's loki, has not blanched at our
pollution and your intercourse at ninety legsplits does not defile.
Untouchable is not the scarecrown is on you. You are pure. You are
pure. You are in your puerity. You have not brought stinking members
into the house of Amanti. Elleb Inam, Titep Notep, we name them to the
Hall of Honour. Your head has been touched by the god Enel-Rah and
your face has been brightened by the goddess Aruc-Ituc. Return, sainted
youngling, and walk once more among us! The rains of Demani are
masikal as of yere. And Baraza is all aflower. Siker of calmy days. As
shiver as shower can be. Our breed and better class is in brood and bitter
pass. Labbeycliath longs. But we're counting on the cluck. The Great
Cackler comes again. Sweetstaker, Abel lord of all our haloease, we (to
be slightly more femmiliar perhips than is slickly more then nacessory),
toutes philomelas as well as magdelenes, were drawpairs with two
pinmarks, BVD and BVD dot, so want lotteries of ticklets posthastem
(you appreciate?) so as to be very dainty, if an isaspell, and so as to be
verily dandydainty, if an ishibilley, of and on, to and for, by and with,
from you. Let the hitback hurry his wayward ere the missive has time to
take herself off, 'twill be o'erthemore willfully intomeet if the coming
offence can send our shudders before. We feem to have being elfewhere
as tho' th' had pafs'd in our fufpens. Next to our shrinking selves we love
sensitivas best. For they are the Angèles. Brick, fauve, jonquil, sprig,
fleet, nocturne, smiling bruise. For they are an Angèle's garment. We
will be constant (what a word!) and bless the day, for whole hours too,
yes, for sold long syne as we shall be heing in our created being of ours
elvishness, the day you befell, you dreadful temptation! Now promisus
as at our requisted you will remain ignorant of all what you hear and,
though if whilst disrobing to the edge of risk, (the bisifings in idolhours
that satinfines tootoo!) draw a veil till we next time! You don't want to
peach but bejimboed if ye do! Perhelps. We ernst too may. How many
months or how many years till the myriadth and first become!
Bashfulness be tupped! May he colp, may he colp her, may he
mixandmass colp her! Talk with a hare and you wake of a tartars. That's
mus. Says the Law. List! Kicky Lacey, the pervergined, and Bianca
Mutantini, her conversa, drew their fools longth finnishfurst, Herzog
van Vellentam, but me and meother ravin, my coosine of mine, have
mour good three chancers, weothers, after Bohnaparts. The mything
smile of me, my wholesole assumption, shes nowt mewithout as weam
twin herewithin, that I love like myselfish, like smithereens robinsongs,
like juneses nutslost, like the blue of the sky if I stoop for to spy's
between my whiteyoumightcallimbs. How their duel makes their triel!
Eer's wax for Sur Soord, dongdong bollets for the iris riflers,
queemswellth of coocome in their combs for the jennyjos. Caro
caressimus! Honey swarns where mellisponds. Will bee all buzzy one
another minnies for the mere effect that you are so fuld of pollen
yourself. Teomeo! Daurdour! We feel unspeechably thoughtless over it
all here in Gizzygazelle Tark's bimboowood so pleasekindly
communicake with the original sinse we are only yearning as yet how to
burgeon. It's meant milliems of centiments deadlost or mislaid on them
but, master of snakes, we can sloughchange in the nip of a napple
solongas we can allsee for deedsetton your quick. By the hook in your
look we're eyed for aye were you begging the questuan with your lutean
bowl round Monkmesserag. And whenever you're tingling in your trout
we're sure to be tangled in our ticements. It's game, ma chère, be offwith
your shepherdress on! Upsome cauda! Behose our handmades for the
lured! To these nunce we are but yours in ammatures yet well come that
day we shall ope to be ores. Then shalt thou see, seeing, the sight. No
more hoaxites! Nay more gifting in mennage! A her's fancy for a his
friend and then that fellow yours after this follow ours. Vania, Vania
Vaniorum, Domne Vanias!

    Hightime is ups be it down into outs according! When there shall be
foods for vermin as full as feeds for the fett, eat on earth as there's hot in
oven. When every Klitty of a scolderymeid shall hold every
yardscullion's right to stimm her uprecht for whimsoever, whether on
privates, whather in publics. And when all us romance catholeens shall
have ones for all amanseprated. And the world is maidfree. Methanks.
So much for His Meignysthy man! And all his bigyttens. So till
Coquette to tell Cockotte to teach Connie Curley to touch Cattie Hayre
and tip Carminia to tap La Chérie though where the diggings he dwellst
amongst us here's nobody knows save Mary. Whyfor we go ringing
hands in hands in gyrogyrorondo.

    These bright elects, consentconsorted, they were waltzing up their
willside with their princesome handsome angeline chiuff while in those
wherebus there wont bears way (mearing unknown, a place where
pigeons carry fire to seethe viands, a miry hill, belge end sore footh)
oaths and screams and bawley groans with a belchybubhub and a
hellabelow bedemmed and bediabbled the arimaining lucisphere.
Helldsdend, whelldselse! Lonedom's breach lay foulend up uncouth not
be broched by punns and reedles. Yet the ring gayed rund rorosily with
a drat for a brat you. Yasha Yash ate sassage and mash. So he found he
bash, poor Yasha Yash. And you wonna make one of our micknick
party. No honaryhuest on our sposhialiste. For poor Glugger was dazed
and late in his crave, ay he, laid in his grave.

    But low, boys low, he rises, shrivering, with his spittyful eyes and
his whoozebecome woice. Ephthah! Cisamis! Examen of conscience
scruples now he to the best of his memory schemado. Nu mere for ever
siden on the stolen. With his tumescinquinance in the thight of his
tumstull. No more singing all the dags in his sengaggeng. Experssly at
hand counterhand. Trinitatis kink had mudded his dome, peccat and
pent fore, pree. Hymserf, munchaowl, maden, born of thug tribe into
brood blackmail, dooly redecant allbigenesis henesies. He, by
bletchendmacht of the golls, proforhim penance and come off
enternatural.     He,       selfsufficiencer,     eggscumuddher-in-chaff
sporticolorissimo, what though the duthsthrows in his lavabad eyes,
maketomake polentay rossum, (Good savours queen with the stem of
swuith Aftreck! Fit for king of Zundas) out of bianconies, hiking ahake
like any nudgemeroughgorude all over Terracuta. No more throw acids,
face all lovabilities, appeal for the union and play for tirnitys. He, praise
Saint Calembaurnus, make clean breastsack of goody girl now as ever
drank milksoep from a spoen, weedhearted boy of potter and mudder,
chip of old Flinn the Flinter, twig of the hider that tanned him. He go
calaboosh all same he tell him out. Teufleuf man he strip him all
mussymussy calico blong him all same he tell him all out how he make
what name. He, through wolkenic connection, relation belong this
remarklable moliman, Anaks Andrum, parleyglutton pure blood
Jebusite, centy procent Erserum spoking. Drugmallt storehuse. Intrance
on back. Most open on the laydays. He, A. A., in peachskin shantungs,
possible, sooth to say, notwithstanding far former guiles and he gaining
fish considerable, by saving grace after avalunch, to look most
prophitable out of smily skibluh eye. He repeat of him as pious alios cos
he ast for shave and haircut people said he'd shape of hegoat where he
just was sheep of herrgott with his tile togged. Top. Not true what
chronicles is bringing his portemanteau priamed full potatowards. Big
dumm crumm digaditchies say short again akter, even while
lossassinated by summan, he coaxyorum a pennysilvers offarings
bloadonages with candid zuckers on Spinshesses Walk in presents to
lilithe maidinettes for at bloo his noose for him with pruriest
pollygameous    inatentions,   he    having   that   pecuniarity    ailmint
spectacularly in heather cliff emurgency on gale days because souffrant
chronic from a plentitude of house torts. Collosul rhodomantic not wert
one bronze lie Scholarina say as he, greyed vike cuddlepuller, walk in
her sleep his pig indicks weg femtyfem funts. Of so little is her
timentrousnest great for greeting his immensesness. Sutt soonas sett
they were, her uyes as his auroholes. Kaledvalch! How could one
classically? One could naught critically. Ininest lightingshaft only for
lovalit smugpipe, his Mistress Mereshame, of cupric tresses, the
formwhite foaminine, the ambersandalled, after Aasdocktor Talop's
onamuttony legture. A mish, holy balm of seinsed myrries, he is as good
as a mountain and everybody what is found of his gients he knew
Meistral   Wikingson,    furframed     Noordwogen's     kampften,     with
complexion of blushing dolomite fanned by ozeone brisees, what naver
saw his bedshead farrer and nuver met his swigamore, have his ignomen
from prima signation of being Master Milchku, queerest man in the
benighted queendom, and, adcraft aidant, how he found the kids. Other
accuse him as lochkneeghed forsunkener, dope in stockknob, all
ameltingmoult after rhomatism, purely simply tammy ratkins. The kurds
of Copt on the berberutters and their bedaweens! Even was Shes whole
begeds off before all his nahars in the koldbethizzdryel. No gudth! Not
one zouz! They whiteliveried ragsups, two Whales of the Sea of Deceit,
they bloodiblabstard shooters, three Dromedaries of the Sands of
Calumdonia. As is note worthies to shock his hind! Ur greeft on them!
Such askors and their ruperts they are putting in for more osghirs is alse
false liarnels. The frockenhalted victims! Whore affirm is agains sempry
Lotta Karssens. They would lick their lenses before they would negatise
a jom petter from his sodalites. In his contrary and on reality, which
Bichop Babwith bares to his whitness in his Just a Fication of
Villumses, this Mr Heer Assassor Neelson, of sorestate hearing,
diseased, formarly with Adenoiks, den feed all Lighty, laxtleap great
change of retiring family buckler, highly accurect in his everythinks,
from tencents coupoll to bargain basement, live with howthold of
nummer seven, wideawake, woundabout, wokinbetts, weeklings, in
black velvet on geolgian mission senest mangy years his rear in the lane
pictures, blanking same with autonaut and annexes and got a daarlingt
babyboy bucktooth, the thick of a gobstick, coming on ever so nerses
nursely, gracies to goodess, at 81. That why all parks up excited about
his gunnfodder. That why ecrazyaztecs and the crime ministers
preaching him mornings and makes a power of spoon vittles out of his
praverbs. That why he, persona erecta, glycorawman arsenicful
femorniser, for a trial by julias, in celestial sunhat, with two purses
agitatating his theopot with wokklebout shake, rather incoherend, from
one 18 to one 18 biss, young shy gay youngs. Sympoly far infusing up
pritty tipidities to lock up their rhainodaisies and be nice and twainty in
the shade. Old grand tuttut toucher up of young poetographies and he
turn aroundabrupth red altfrumpishly like hear samhar tionnor falls
some make one noise. It's his last lap, Gigantic, fare him weal!
Revelation! A fact. True bill. By a jury of matrons. Hump for
humbleness, dump for dirts. And, to make a long stoney badder and a
whorly show a parfect sight, his Thing went the wholyway retup
Suffrogate Strate.

    Helpmeat too, contrasta toga, his fiery goosemother, laotsey taotsey,
woman who did, he tell princes of the age about. You sound on me,
judges! Suppose we brisken up. Kings! Meet the Mem, Avenlith, all
viviparous out of couple of lizards. She just as fenny as he is fulgar.
How laat soever her latest still her sawlogs come up all standing. Psing
a psalm of psexpeans, apocryphul of rhyme! His cheekmole of allaph
foriverever her allinall and his Kuran never teachit her the be the owner
of thyself. So she not swop her eckcot hjem for Howarden's Castle,
Englandwales. But be the alleance of iern on his flamen vestacoat, the
fibule of broochbronze to his wintermantle of pointefox. Who not
knows she, the Madame Cooley-Couley, spawife to laird of manna,
when first come into the pictures more as hundreads elskerelks' yahrds
of annams call away, factory fresh and fiuming at the mouth, wronged
by Hwemwednoget (magrathmagreeth, he takable a rap for that early
party) and whenceforward Ani Mama and her fiertey bustles terrified of
gmere gnomes of gmountains and furibound to be back in her
mytinbeddy? Schi schi, she feightened allsouls at pignpugn and gets a
pan in her stummi from the pialabellars in their pur war. Yet
jackticktating all around her about his poorliness due to pannellism and
grime for that he harboured her when feme sole, her zoravarn lhorde and
givnergenral, and led her in antient consort ruhm and bound her durant
coverture so as she could not steal from him, oz her or damman, so as if
ever she's beleaved by checkenbrooth death since both was parties to the
feed it's Hetman MacCumhal foots the funeral. Mealwhile she nutre him
jacent from her elmer's almsdish, giantar and tschaina as sieme as
bibrondas with Foli Signur's tinner roumanschy to fishle the ladwigs out
of his lugwags, like a skittering kitty skattering hayels, when his
favourites were all beruffled on him and her own undesirables
justickulating, it was such a blowick day. Winden wanden wild like
wenchen wenden wanton. The why if he but would bite and plug his
baccypipes and renownse the devlins in all their pumbs and kip the
streelwarkers out of the plague and nettleses milk from sickling the
honeycoombe and kop Ulo Bubo selling foulty treepes, she would make
massa dinars with her savuneer dealinsh and delicate her nutbrown
glory cloack to Mayde Berenice and hang herself in Ostmannstown
Saint Megan's and make no more mulierage before mahatmas or
moslemans, but would ondulate her shookerloft hat from Alpoleary with
a viv baselgia and a clamast apotria like any purple cardinal's princess
or woman of the grave word to the papal legate from the Vatucum,
Monsaigneur Rabbinsohn Crucis, with an ass of milg to his cowmate
and chilterlings on account of all he quaqueduxed for the hnor of Hrom
and the nations abhord him and wop mezzo scudo to Sant Pursy Orelli
that gave Luiz-Marios Josephs their loyal devouces to be offered up
missas for vowts for widders.
   Hear, O worldwithout! Tiny tattling! Backwoods, be wary!
Daintytrees, go dutch!

   But who comes yond with pire on poletop? He who relights our
spearing torch, the moon. Bring lolave branches to mud cabins and
peace to the tents of Ceder, Neomenie! The feast of Tubbournigglers is
at hand. Shopshup. Inisfail! Timple temple tells the bells. In syngagyng
a sangasongue. For all in Ondslosby. And, the hag they damename
Coverfew hists from her lane. And haste, 'tis time for bairns ta hame.
Chickchilds, comeho to roo. Comehome to roo, wee chickchilds doo,
when the wildworewolf's abroad. Ah, let's away and let's gay and let's
stay chez where the log foyer's burning!

   It darkles, (tinct, tint) all this our funnaminal world. Yon marshpond
by ruodmark verge is visited by the tide. Alvemmarea! We are
circumveiloped by obscuritads. Man and belves frieren. There is a wish
on them to be not doing or anything. Or just for rugs. Zoo koud! Drr,
deff, coal lay on and, pzz, call us pyrress! Ha. Where is our highly
honourworthy salutable spousefounderess? The foolish one of the
family is within. Haha! Huzoor, where's he? At house, to's pitty. With
Nancy Hands. Tcheetchee! Hound through the maize has fled. What
hou! Isegrim under lolling ears. Far wol! And wheaten bells bide
breathless. All. The trail of Gill not yet is to be seen, rocksdrops, up
benn, down dell, a craggy road for rambling. Nor yet through starland
that silver sash. What era's o'ering? Lang gong late. Say long, scielo!
Sillume, see lo! Selene, sail O! Amune! Ark!? Noh?! Nought stirs in
spinney. The swayful pathways of the dragonfly spider stay still in
reedery. Quiet takes back her folded fields. Tranquille thanks. Adew. In
deerhaven, imbraced, alleged, injoynted and unlatched, the birds,
tommelise too, quail silent. ii. Luathan? Nuathan! Was avond ere a
while. Now conticinium. As Lord the Laohun is sheutseuyes. The time
of lying together will come and the wildering of the nicht till
cockeedoodle aubens Aurore. Panther monster. Send leabarrow loads
amorrow. While loevdom shleeps. Elenfant has siang his triump, Great
is Eliphas Magistrodontos and after kneeprayer pious for behemuth and
mahamoth will rest him from tusker toils. Salamsalaim! Rhinohorn
isnoutso pigfellow but him ist gonz wurst. Kikikuki. Hopopodorme.
Sobeast! No chare of beagles, frantling of peacocks, no muzzing of the
camel, smuttering of apes. Lights, pageboy, lights! Brights we'll be
brights. With help of Hanoukan's lamp. When otter leaps in outer parts
then Yul remembers Mei. Her hung maid mohns are bluming, look, to
greet those loes on coast of amethyst; arcglow's seafire siemens lure and
wextward warnerforth's hookercrookers. And now with robby brerfox's
fishy fable lissaned out, the threads simwhat toran and knots in its
antargumends, the pesciolines in Liffeyetta's bowl have stopped
squiggling about Junoh and the whalk and feriaquintaism and pebble
infinibility and the poissission of the hoghly course. And if
Lubbernabohore laid his horker to the ribber, save the giregargoh and
dabardin going on in his mount of knowledge (munt), he would not hear
a flip flap in all Finnyland. Witchman, watch of your night? Es voes, ez
noes, nott voes, ges, noun. It goes. It does not go. Darkpark's acoo with
sucking loves. Rosimund's by her wishing well. Soon tempt-in-twos will
stroll at venture and hunt-by-threes strut musketeering. Brace of girdles,
brasse of beauys. With the width of the way for jogjoy. Hulker's cieclest
elbownunsense. Hold hard! And his dithering dathering waltzers of.
Stright! But meetings mate not as forsehn. Hesperons! And if you wand
to Livmouth, wenderer, while Jempson's weed decks Jacqueson's Island,
here lurks, bar hellpelhullpulthebell, none iron welcome. Bing. Bong.
Bangbong. Thunderation! You took with the mulligrubs and we lack
mulsum? No sirrebob! Great goodness, no! Were you Marely quean of
Scuts or but Chrestien the Last, (our duty to you, chris! royalty, squat!)
how matt your mark, though luked your johl, here's dapplebellied mugs
and troublebedded rooms and sawdust strown in expectoration and for
ratification by specification of your information, Mr Knight, tuntapster,
buttles; his alefru's up to his hip. And Watsy Lyke sees after all rinsings
and don't omiss Kate, homeswab homely, put in with the bricks. A's the
sign and one's the number. Where Chavvyout Chacer calls the cup and
Pouropourim stands astirrup. De oud huis bij de kerkegaard. So who
over comes ever for Whoopee Weeks must put up with the Jug and
Chambers.

    But heed! Our thirty minutes war's alull. All's quiet on the felled of
Gorey. Between the starfort and the thornwood brass castle flambs with
mutton candles. Hushkah, a horn! Gadolmagtog! God es El?
Housefather calls enthreateningly. From Brandenborgenthor. At Asa's
arthre. In thundercloud periwig. With lightning bug aflash from afinger.
My souls and by jings, should he work his jaw to give down the banks
and hark from the tomb! Ansighosa pokes in her potstill to souse at the
sop be sodden enow and to hear to all the bubbles besaying: the coming
man, the future woman, the food that is to build, what he with fifteen
years will do, the ring in her mouth of joyous guard, stars astir and
stirabout. A palashe for hirs, a saucy for hers and ladlelike spoons for
the wonner. But ein and twee were never worth three. So they must have
their final since he's on parole. Et la pau' Leonie has the choice of her
lives between Josephinus and Mario-Louis for who is to wear the lily of
Bohemey, Florestan, Thaddeus, Hardress or Myles. And lead raptivity
captive. Ready! Like a Finn at a fair. Now for la belle! Icy-la-Belle!

    The campus calls them. Ninan ninan, the gattling gan! Childs will
be wilds. 'Twastold. And vamp, vamp, vamp, the girls are merchand.
The horseshow magnete draws his field and don't the fillyings fly?
Educande of Sorrento, they newknow knowwell their Vico's road.
Arranked in their array and flocking for the fray on that old orangeray,
Dolly Brae. For these are not on terms, they twain, bartrossers, since
their baffle of Whatalose when Adam Leftus and the devil took our
hindmost, gegifting her with his painapple, nor will not be atoned at all
in fight to no finish, that dark deed doer, this wellwilled wooer, Jerkoff
and Eatsoup, Yem or Yan, while felixed is who culpas does and harm's
worth healing and Brune is bad French for Jour d'Anno. Tiggers and
Tuggers they're all for tenzones. Bettlimbraves. For she must walk out.
And it must be with who. Teaseforhim. Toesforhim. Tossforhim. Two.
Else there is danger of. Solitude.

    Postreintroducing Jeremy, the chastenot coulter, the flowing taal
that brooks no brooking runs on to say how, as it was mutualiter
foretold of him by a timekiller to his spacemaker, velos ambos and
arubyat knychts, with their tales within wheels and stucks between
spokes, on the hike from Elmstree to Stene and back, how, running
awage with the use of reason (sics) and ramming amok at the brake of
his voice (secs), his lasterhalft was set for getting the besterwhole of his
yougendtougend, for control number thrice was operating the subliminal
of his invaded personality. He nobit smorfi and go poltri and let all the
tondo gang bola del ruffo. Barto no know him mor. Eat larto altruis with
most perfect stranger.

    Boo, you're through!

    Hoo, I'm true!

    Men, teacan a tea simmering, hamo mavrone kerry O?

    Teapotty. Teapotty.

    Kod knows. Anything ruind. Meetingless.

    He wept indeiterum. With such a tooth he seemed to love his wee
tart when abuy. Highly momourning he see the before him. Melained
from nape to kneecap though vied from her girders up. Holy Santalto,
cursing saint, sight most deletious to ross up the spyballs like exude of
margary! And how him it heaviered that eyerim rust! An they bare falls
witless against thee how slight becomes a hidden wound? Soldwoter he
wash him all time bigfeller bruisy place blong him. He no want missies
blong all boy other look bruisy place blong him. Hence. It will paineth
the chastenot in that where of his whence he had loseth his once for
every, even though mode grow moramor maenneritsch and the Tarara
boom decay. Immaculacy, give but to drink to his shirt and all
skirtaskortas must change her tunics. So warred he from first to last,
forebanned and betweenly, a smuggler for lifer. Lift the blank ve veered
as heil! Split the hvide and aye seize heaven! He knows for he's seen it
in black and white through his eyetrompit trained upon jenny's and all
that sort of thing which is dandymount to a clearobscure. Prettimaid
tints may try their taunts: apple, bacchante, custard, dove, eskimo,
feldgrau, hematite, isingglass, jet, kipper, lucile, mimosa, nut,
oysterette, prune, quasimodo, royal, sago, tango, umber, vanilla,
wisteria, xray, yesplease, zaza, philomel, theerose. What are they all by?
Shee.

    If you nude her in her prime, make sure you find her complementary
or, on your very first occasion, by Angus Dagdasson and all his
piccions, she'll prick you where you're proudest with her unsatt speagle
eye. Look sharp, she's signalling from among the asters. Turn again,
wistfultone, lode mere of Doubtlynn! Arise, Land-under-Wave! Clap
your lingua to your pallet, drop your jowl with a jolt, tambourine until
your breath slides, pet a pout and it's out. Have you got me, Allysloper?
    My top it was brought Achill's low, my middle I ope before you, my
bottom's a vulser if ever there valsed and my whole the flower that stars
the day and is solly well worth your pilger's fahrt. Where there's a hitch,
a head of things, let henker's halter hang the halunkenend. For I see
through your weapon. That cry's not Cucullus. And his eyelids are
painted. If my tutor here is cut out for an oldeborre I'm Flo, shy of
peeps, you know. But when he beetles backwards, ain't I fly? Pull the
boughpee to see how we sleep. Bee Peep! Peepette! Would you like that
lump of a tongue for lungeon or this Turkey's delighter, hys hyphen
mys? My bellyswain's a twalf whulerusspower though he knows as
much how to man a wife as Dunckle Dalton of matching wools. Shake
hands through the thicketloch! Sweet swanwater! My other is
mouthfilled. This kissing wold's full of killing fellows kneeling voyantly
to the cope of heaven. And somebody's coming, I feel for a fect. I've a
seeklet to sell thee if old Deanns won't be threaspanning. When you'll
next have the mind to retire to be wicked this is as dainty a way as any.
Underwoods spells bushment's business. So if you sprig poplar you're
bound to twig this. 'Twas my lord of Glendalough benedixed the gape
for me that time at Long Entry, commanding the approaches to my
intimast innermost. Look how they're browthered! Six thirteens at
Blanche de Blanche's of 3 Behind Street and 2 Turnagain Lane. Awabeg
is my callby, Magnus here's my Max, Wonder One's my cipher and
Seven Sisters is my nighbrood. Radouga, Rab will ye na pick them in
their pink of panties. You can colour up till you're prawn while I go
squirt with any cockle. When here who adolls me infuxes sleep. But if
this could see with its backsight he'd be the grand old greeneyed lobster.
He's my first viewmarc since Valentine. Wink's the winning word.

    Luck!

    In the house of breathings lies that word, all fairness. The walls are
of rubinen and the glittergates of elfinbone. The roof herof is of
massicious jasper and a canopy of Tyrian awning rises and still
descends to it. A grape cluster of lights hangs therebeneath and all the
house is filled with the breathings of her fairness, the fairness of
fondance and the fairness of milk and rhubarb and the fairness of
roasted meats and uniomargrits and the fairness of promise with
consonantia and avowals. There lies her word, you reder! The height
herup exalts it and the lowness her down abaseth it. It vibroverberates
upon the tegmen and prosplodes from pomoeria. A window, a hedge, a
prong, a hand, an eye, a sign, a head and keep your other augur on her
paypaypay. And you have it, old Sem, pat as ah be seated! And Sunny,
my gander, he's coming to land her. The boy which she now adores. She
dores. Oh backed von dem zug! Make weg for their tug!

    With a ring ding dong, they raise clasped hands and advance more
steps to retire to the saum. Curtsey one, curtsey two, with arms akimbo,
devotees.

    Irrelevance.

    All sing:
    — I rose up one maypole morning and saw in my glass how nobody
loves me but you. Ugh. Ugh.

    All point in the shem direction as if to shun.

    — My name is Misha Misha but call me Toffey Tough. I mean
Mettenchough. It was her, boy the boy that was loft in the larch. Ogh!
Ogh!

    Her reverence.

    All laugh.

    They pretend to helf while they simply shauted at him sauce to
make hims prich. And ith ith noth cricquette, Sally Lums. Not by ever
such a lot. Twentynines of bloomers gegging een man arose. Avis was
there and trilled her about it. She's her sex, for certain. So to celebrate
the occasion:

    — Willest thou rossy banders havind?

    He simules to be tight in ribbings round his rumpffkorpff.

    — Are you Swarthants that's hit on a shorn stile?

    He makes semblant to be swiping their chimbleys.

    — Can you ajew ajew fro' Sheidam?

    He finges to be cutting up with a pair of sissers and to be buytings
of their maidens and spitting their heads into their facepails.

    Spickspuk! Spoken.
      So now be hushy, little pukers! Side here roohish, cleany fuglers!
Grandicellies, all stay zitty! Adultereux, rest as befour! For you've
jollywelly dawdled all the day. When ye coif tantoncle's hat then'll be
largely temts for that. Yet's the time for being now, now, now.

      For a burning would is come to dance inane. Glamours hath
moidered's lieb and herefore Coldours must leap no more. Lack breath
must leap no more.

      Lel lols for libelman libling his lore. Lolo Lolo liebermann you
loved to be leaving Libnius. Lift your right to your Liber Lord. Link
your left to your lass of liberty. Lala Lala, Leapermann, your lep's but a
loop to lee.

      A fork of hazel o'er the field in vox the verveine virgins ode. If you
cross this rood as you roamed the rand I'm blessed but you'd feel him a
blasting rod. Behind, me, frees from evil smells! Perdition stinks before
us.

      Aghatharept they fleurelly to Nebnos will and Rosocale. Twice is he
gone to quest of her, thrice is she now to him. So see we so as seed we
sow. And their prunktqueen kilt her kirtles up and set out. And her troup
came heeling, O. And what do you think that pride was drest in!
Voolykins' diamondinah's vestin. For ever they scent where air she
went. While all the fauns' flares widens wild to see a floral's school.

      Led by Lignifer, in four hops of the happiest, ach beth cac duff, a
marrer of the sward incoronate, the few fly the farbetween! We haul
minymony on that piebold nig. Will any tubble dabble on the bay? Nor
far jocubus? Nic for jay? Attilad! Attattilad! Get up, Goth's scourge on
you! There's a visitation in your impluvium. Hun! Hun!

    He stanth theirs mun in his natural, oblious autamnesically of his
very proprium, (such is stockpot leaden, so did sonsepun crake) the
wont to be wanton maid a will to be wise. Thrust from the light,
apophotorejected, he spoors loves from her heats. He blinkth. But's
wrath's the higher where those wreathe charity. For all of these have
been thisworlders, time liquescing into state, pitiless age grows
angelhood. Though, as he stehs, most anysing may befallhim from a
song of a witch to the totter of Blackarss, given a fammished devil, a
young sourceress and (eternal conjunction) the permission of overalls
with the cuperation of nightshirt. If he spice east he seethes in sooth and
if he pierce north he wilts in the waist. And what wonder with the
murkery viceheid in the shade? The specks on his lapspan are his foul
deed thougths, wishmarks of mad imogenation. Take they off! Make the
off! But Funnylegs are leanly. A bimbamb bum! They vain would
convert the to be hers in the word. Gush, they wooed! Gash, they're fair
ripecherry!

    As for she could shake him. An oaf, no more. Still he'd be good
tutor two in his big armschair lerningstoel and she be waxen in his
hands. Turning up and fingering over the most dantellising peaches in
the lingerous longerous book of the dark. Look at this passage about
Galilleotto! I know it is difficult but when your goche I go dead. Turn
now to this patch upon Smacchiavelluti! Soot allours, he's sure to spot
it! 'Twas ever so in monitorology since Headmaster Adam became Eva
Harte's toucher, in omnibus moribus et temporibus, with man's mischief
in his mind whilst her pupils swimmed too heavenlies, let his be
exaspirated, letters be blowed! I is a femaline person. O, of provocative
gender. U unisingular case.

    Which is why trumpers are mixed up in duels and here's B. Rohan
meets N. Ohlan for the prize of a thou.

    But listen to the mocking birde to micking barde making bared!
We've heard it aye since songdom was gemurrmal. As he was queering
his shoolthers. So was I. And as I was cleansing my fausties. So was he.
And as way ware puffiing our blowbags. Souwouyou.

    Come, thrust! Go, parry! Dvoinabrathran, dare. The mad long ramp
of manchind's parlements, the learned lacklearning, merciless as
wonderful.

    — Now may Saint Mowy of the Pleasant Grin be your everglass
and even prospect!

    — Feeling dank.

    Exchange, reverse.

    — And may Saint Jerome of the Harlots' Curse make family three
of you which is much abedder!

    — Grassy ass ago.

    And each was wrought with his other. And his continence fell. The
bivitellines,   Metellus   and   Ametallikos,   her   crown   pretenders,
obscindgemeinded biekerers, varying directly, uruseye each oxesother,
superfetated (never cleaner of lamps frowned fiercelier on anointer of
hinges), while their treegrown girls, king's game, if he deign so, are in
such transfusion just to know twigst timidy twomeys, for gracious sake,
who is artthoudux from whose heterotropic, the sleepy or the glouch,
for, shyly bawn and showly nursured, exceedingly nice girls can strike
exceedingly bad times unless so richtly chosen's by (what though of
riches he have none and hope dashes hope on his heart's horizon) to gar
their great moments greater. The thing is he must be put strait on the
spot, no mere waterstichystuff in a selfmade world that you can't believe
a word he's written in, not for pie, but one's only owned by naturel
rejection. Charley, you're my darwing! So sing they sequent the assent
of man. Till they go round if they go roundagain before breakparts and
all dismissed. They keep. Step keep. Step. Stop. Who is Fleur? Where is
Ange? Or Gardoun?

    Creedless, croonless hangs his haughty. There end no moe red devil
in the white of his eye. Braglodyte him do a katadupe! A condamn
quondam jontom sick af a suckbut! He does not know how his
grandson's grandson's grandson's grandson will stammer up in Peruvian
for in the ersebest idiom I have done it equals I so shall do. He dares not
think why the grandmother of the grandmother of his grandmother's
grandmother coughed Russky with suchky husky accent since in the
mouthart of the slove look at me now means I once was otherwise. Nor
that the mappamund has been changing pattern as youth plays moves
from street to street since time and races were and wise ants hoarded
and sauterelles were spendthrifts, no thing making newthing
wealthshowever for a silly old Sol, healthytobedder and latewiser. Nor
that the turtling of a London's alderman is ladled out by the waggerful to
the regionals of pigmyland. His part should say in honour bound: So
help me symethew, sammarc, selluc and singin, I will stick to you, by
gum, no matter what, bite simbum, and in case of the event coming off
beforehand even so you was to release me for the sake of the other
cheap girl's baby's name plaster me but I will pluckily well pull on the
buckskin gloves! But Noodynaady's actual ingrate tootle is of come into
the garner mauve and thy nice are stores of morning and buy me a
bunch of iodines.

    Evidentament he has failed as tiercely as the deuce before for she is
wearing none of the three. And quite as patenly there is a hole in the
ballet trough which the rest fell out. Because to explain why the residue
is, was, or will not be, according to the eighth axiom, proceeded with,
namely, since ever apart that gossan duad, so sure as their's a patch on a
pomelo, this yam ham in never live could, the shifting about of the
lassies, the tug of love of their lads ending with a great deal of
merriment, hoots, screams, scarf drill, cap fecking, ejaculations of
aurinos, reechoable mirthpeals and general thumbtonosery (Myama's a
yaung yaung cauntry), one must recken with the sudden and
gigantesquesque appearance unwithstandable as a general election in
Barnado's   bearskin   amongst     the   brawlmiddle    of   this   village
childergarten of the largely longsuffering laird of Lucanhof.

    But, vrayedevraye Blankdeblank, god of all machineries and
tomestone of Barnstaple, by mortisection or vivisuture, splitten up or
recompounded, an isaac jacquemin mauromormo milesian, how
accountibus for him, moreblue?

    Was he pitssched for an ensemple as certain have dognosed of him
against our seawall by Rurie, Thoath and Cleaver, those three stout
sweynhearts, Orion of the Orgiasts, Meereschal MacMuhun, the Ipse
dadden, product of the extremes giving quotidients to our means, as
might occur to anyone, your brutest layaman with the princest champion
in our archdeaconry, or so yclept from Clio's clippings, which the
chroncher of chivalries is sulpicious save he scan, for ancients link with
presents as the human chain extends, have done, do and will again as
John, Polycarp and Irenews eye-to-eye ayewitnessed and to Paddy
Palmer, while monks sell yew to archers or the water of the livvying
goes the way of all fish from Sara's drawhead, the corralsome, to Isaac's,
the lauphed butt one, with her minnelisp extorreor to his moanolothe
inturned? So Perrichon with Bastienne or heavy Humph with airy Nan,
Ricqueracqbrimbillyjicqueyjocqjolicass?          How            sowesthow,
dullcisamica? A and aa ab ad abu abiad. A babbel men dub gulch of
tears.

    The mar of murmury mermers to the mind's ear, uncharted rock,
evasive weed. Only the caul knows his thousandfirst name, Hocus
Crocus, Esquilocus, Finnfinn the Faineant, how feel full foes in
furrinarr! Doth it not all come aft to you, puritysnooper, in the way
television   opes   longtimes    ofter   when    Potollomuck     Sotyr   or
Sourdanapplous the Lollapaloosa? The charges are, you will remember,
the chances are, you won't; bit it's old Joe, the Java Jane, older even than
Odam Costollo, and we are recurrently meeting em, par Mahun Mesme,
in cycloannalism, from space to space, time after time, in various phases
of scripture as in various poses of sepulture. Greets Godd, Groceries!
Merodach! Defend the King! Hoet of the rough throat attack but whose
say is soft but whose ee has a cute angle, he whose hut is a hissarlik
even as her hennin's aspire. And insodaintily she's a quine of selm
ashaker while as a murder of corpse when his magot's up he's the best
berrathon sanger in all the aisles of Skaldignavia. As who shall hear. For
now at last is Longabed going to be gone to, that more than man, prince
of Bunnicombe of wide roadsterds, the herblord the gillyflowrets so fain
fan to flatter about. Artho is the name is on the hero, Capellisato,
shoehanded slaughterer of the shader of our leaves.

    Attach him! Hold!

    Yet stir thee, to clay, Tamor!

    Why wilt thou erewaken him from his earth, O summonorother: he
is weatherbitten from the dusts of ages? The hour of his closing hies to
hand; the tocsin that shall claxonise his wareabouts. If one who
remembered his webgoods and tealofts were to ask of a hooper for
whose it was the storks were quitting Aquileyria, this trundler would not
wot; if other who joined faith when his depth charge bombed our barrel
spillway were to — !

    Jehosophat, what doom is here! Rain ruth on them, sire! The wing
of Moykill cover him! The Bulljon Bossbrute quarantee him! Calavera,
caution! Slaves to Virtue, save his Veritotem! Bearara Tolearis, procul
abeat! The Ivorbonegorer of Danamaraca be, his Hector Protector!
Woldomar with Vasa, peel your peeps! And try to saviourise the nights
of labour to the order of our blooding worold! While Pliny the Younger
writes to Pliny the Elder his calamolumen of contumellas, what Aulus
Gellius picked on Micmacrobius and what Vitruvius pocketed from
Cassiodorus. Like we larnt from that Buke of Lukan in Dublin's capital,
Kongdam Coombe. Even if you are the kooper of the winkel over
measure never lost a licence. Nor a duckindonche divulse from bath and
breakfast. And for the honour of Alcohol drop that you-know-what-I've-
come-about-I-saw-your-act air! Punch may be pottleproud but his Judy's
a wife's wit better.

    For the producer (Mr John Baptister Vickar) caused a deep
abuliousness to descend upon the Father of Truants and, at a side issue,
pluterpromptly brought on the scene the cutletsized consort, foundling
filly of fortyshilling fostertailor and shipman's shopahoyden, weighing
ten pebble ten, scaling five footsy five and spanning thirtyseven
inchettes round the good companions, twentynine ditties round the
wishful waistress, thirtyseven alsos round the answer to everything,
twentythree of the same round each of the quis separabits, fourteen
round the beginning of happiness and nicely nine round her shoed for
slender.

    And eher you could pray mercy to goodness or help with your
hokey or mehokeypoo, Gallus's hen has collared her pullets. That's
where they have owreglias for. Their bone of contention, flesh to their
thorns, prest as Prestissima, makes off in a thinkling (and not one hen
only nor two hens neyther but every blessed brigid came aclucking and
aclacking), while, a rum a rum, the ram of all harns, Bier, Wijn,
Spirituosen for consumption on the premises, advokaat withouten
pleaders, Mas marrit, Pas poulit, Ras ruddist of all, though
flamifestouned from galantifloures, is hued and cried of each's colour.

    Home all go. Halome. Blare no more ramsblares, oddmund barkes!
And cease your fumings, kindalled bushies! And sherrigoldies
yeassymgnays; your wildeshaweshowe moves swiftly sterneward! For
here the holy language. Soons to come. To pausse.

    'Tis goed. Het best.

    For they are now tearing, that is, teartoretorning. Too soon are
coming tasbooks and goody, hominy bread and bible bee, with jaggery-
yo to juju-jaw, Fine's French phrases from the Grandmere des
Grammaires and bothered parsenaps from the Four Massores, Mattatias,
Marusias, Lucanias, Jokinias, and what happened to our eleven in
thirtytwo antepostdating the Valgur Eire and why is limbo where is he
and what are the sound waves saying ceased ere they all wayed wrong
and Amnist anguished axes Collis and where fishngaman fetched the
mongafesh from and whatfor paddybird notplease rancoon and why was
Sindat sitthing on him sitbom like a saildior, with what the doc did in
the doil, not to mention define the hydraulics of common salt and, its
denier crid of old provaunce, where G.P.O. is zentrum and D.U.T.C. are
radients write down by the frequency of the scores and crores of your
refractions the valuations in the pice of dinggyings on N.C.R. and
S.C.R.

    That little cloud, a nibulissa, still hangs isky. Singabed sulks before
slumber. Light at night has an alps on his druckhouse. Thick head and
thin butter or after you with me. Caspi, but gueroligue stings the air.
Gaylegs to riot of us! Gallocks to lafft! What is amaid today todo? So
angelland all weeping bin that Izzy most unhappy is. Fain Essie fie
onhapje? laughs her stella's vispirine.

    While, running about their ways, going and coming, now at rhimba
rhomba, now in trippiza trappaza, pleating a pattern Gran Geamatron
showed them of gracehoppers, auntskippers and coneyfarm leppers,
they jeerilied along, durian gay and marian maidcap, lou Dariou beside
la Matieto, all boy more all girl singoutfeller longa house blong store
Huddy, whilest nin nin nin nin that Boorman's clock, a winny on the
tinny side, ninned nin nin nin nin, about old Father Barley how he got
up of a morning arley and he met with a plattonem blondes named Hips
and Haws and fell in with a fellows of Trinity some header Skowood
Shaws like (You'll catch it, don't fret, Mrs Tummy Lupton! Come
indoor, Scoffynosey, and shed your swank!) auld Daddy Deacon who
could stow well his place of beacon but he never could hold his
kerosene's candle to (The nurse'll give it you, stickypots! And you wait,
my lasso, fecking the twine!) bold Farmer Burleigh who wuck up in a
hurlywurly where he huddly could wuddle to wallow his weg tillbag of
the baker's booth to beg of (You're well held now, Missy Cheekspeer,
and your panto's off! Fie, for shame, Ruth Wheatacre, after all the booz
said!) illed Diddiddy Achin for the prize of a pease of bakin with a
pinch of the panch of the ponch in jurys for (Ah, crabeyes, I have you,
showing off to the world with that gape in your stocking!) Wold
Forrester Farley who, in deesperation of deispiration at the diasporation
of his diesparation, was found of the round of the sound of the lound of
the.
Lukkedoerendunandurraskewdylooshoofermoyportertooryzooysphalnab
ortansporthaokansakroidverjkapakkapuk.

       Byfall.

       Upploud!

       The play thou schouwburgst, Game, here endeth. The curtain drops
by deep request.

       Uplouderamain!

       Gonn the gawds, Gunnar's gustspells. When the h, who the hu, how
the hue, where the huer? Orbiter onswers: lots lives lost. Fionia is fed up
with Fidge Fudgesons. Sealand snorres. Rendningrocks roguesreckning
reigns. Gwds with gurs are gttrdmmrng. Hlls vlls. The timid hearts of
words all exeomnosunt. Mannagad, lammalelouh, how do that come?
By Dad, youd not heed that fert? Fulgitudes ejist rowdownan tonuout.
Quoq! And buncskleydoodle! Kidoosh! Of their fear they broke, they
ate wind, they fled; where they ate there they fled; of their fear they
fled, they broke away. Go to, let us extol Azrael with our harks, by our
brews, on our jambses, in his gaits. To Mezouzalem with the Dephilim,
didits dinkun's dud? Yip! Yup! Yarrah! And let Nek Nekulon extol Mak
Makal and let him say unto him: Immi ammi Semmi. And shall not
Babel be with Lebab? And he war. And he shall open his mouth and
answer: I hear, O Ismael, how they laud is only as my loud is one. If
Nekulon shall be havonfalled surely Makal haven hevens. Go to, let us
extell Makal, yea, let us exceedingly extell. Though you have lien
amung your posspots my excellency is over Ismael. Great is him whom
is over Ismael and he shall mekanek of Mak Nakulon. And he deed.

    Uplouderamainagain!

    For the Clearer of the Air from on high has spoken in tumbuldum
tambaldam to his tembledim tombaldoom worrild and, moguphonoised
by that phonemanon, the unhappitents of the earth have terrerumbled
from fimament unto fundament and from tweedledeedumms down to
twiddledeedees.

    Loud, hear us!

    Loud, graciously hear us!

    Now have thy children entered into their habitations. And
nationglad, camp meeting over, to shin it, Gov be thanked! Thou hast
closed the portals of the habitations of thy children and thou hast set thy
guards thereby, even Garda Didymus and Garda Domas, that thy
children may read in the book of the opening of the mind to light and err
not in the darkness which is the afterthought of thy nomatter by the
guardiance of those guards which are thy bodemen, the cheeryboyum
chirryboth with the kerrybommers in their krubeems, Pray-your-Prayers
Timothy and Back-to-Bunk Tom.

    Till tree from tree, tree among trees, tree over tree become stone to
stone, stone between stones, stone under stone for ever.

    O Loud, hear the wee beseech of thees of each of these thy unlitten
ones! Grant sleep in hour's time, O Loud!

    That they take no chill. That they do ming no merder. That they
shall not gomeet madhowiatrees.

    Loud, heap miseries upon us yet entwine our arts with laughters
low!

    Ha he hi ho hu.

    Mummum.
     Chapter 2




     [UNDE ET UBI.] As we there are where are we are we there from
tomtittot to teetootomtotalitarian. Tea tea too oo.

     [SIC.] [With his broad and hairy face, to Ireland a disgrace.]
Whom will comes over. Who to caps ever. And howelse do we hook
our hike to find that pint of porter place? Am shot, says the bigguard.1



1
 Rawmeash, quoshe with her girlic teangue. If old Herod with the Cormwell's eczema was to go for me like
he does Snuffler whatever about his blue canaries I'd do nine months for his beaver beard.
        [IMAGINABLE ITINERARY THROUGH THE PARTICULAR
UNIVERSAL.] Whence. Quick lunch by our left, wheel, to where.
[Menly about peebles.] Long Livius Lane, mid Mezzofanti Mall,
diagonising Lavatery Square, up Tycho Brache Crescent,2 shouldering
Berkeley Alley, querfixing Gainsborough Carfax, [Don't retch meat fat
salt lard sinks down (and out).] under Guido d'Arezzo's Gadeway, by
New Livius Lane till where we whiled while we whithered. Old Vico
Roundpoint. But fahr, be fear! And natural, simple, slavish, filial. The
marriage of Montan wetting his moll we know, like any enthewsyass
cuckling            a     hoyden3          in      her      rougey          gipsylike     chinkaminx
pulshandjupeyjade and her petsybluse indecked o' voylets.4 When who
was wist was ware. En elv, et fjaell. And the whirr of the whins
humming us howe. His hume. Hencetaking tides we haply return,
trumpeted by prawns and ensigned with seakale, to befinding ourself
when old is said in one and maker mates with made (O my!), having
conned the cones and meditated the mured and pondered the pensils and
ogled the olymp and delighted in her dianaphous and cacchinated
behind his culosses, before a mosoleum. [Swiney Tod, ye Daimon
Barbar!] Length Withought Breath, of him, a chump of the evums,
upshoot of picnic or stupor out of sopor, Cave of Kids or Hymanian
Glattstoneburg, denary, danery, donnery, domm, who [Dig him in the

2
    Mater Mary Mercerycordial of the Dripping Nipples, milk's a queer arrangement.
3
    Real life behind the floodlights as shown by the best exponents of a royal divorce.
4
  When we play dress grownup at alla ludo poker you'll be happnessised to feel how fetching I can look in
clingarounds.
rubsh!], entiringly as he continues highlyfictional, tumulous under his
chthonic exterior but plain Mr Tumulty in muftilife5 [Ungodly old
Ardrey, Cronwall beeswaxing the convulsion box.], in his antisipiences
as in his recognisances, is, (Dominic Directus) a manyfeast munificent
more mob than man.

        [CONSTITUTION                      OF      THE       CONSTITUTIONABLE                     AS
CONSTITUTIONAL.] Ainsoph,6 this upright one, with that noughty
besighed him zeroine. To see in his horrorscup he is mehrkurios than
saltz of sulphur. Terror of the noonstruck by day, cryptogam of each
nightly bridable. But, to speak broken heaventalk, is he? Who is he?
Whose is he? Why is he? Howmuch is he? Which is he? When is he?
Where is he?7 How is he? And what the decans is there about him
anyway, the decemt man? Easy, calm your haste! Approach to lead our
passage!

        [PROBAPOSSIBLE                           PROLEGOMENA                TO         IDEAREAL
HISTORY.] This bridge is upper.

        Cross.

        Thus come to castle.

        Knock.8

5
 Kellywick, Longfellow's Lodgings, House of Comments III, Cake Walk, Amusing Avenue, Salt Hill, Co.
Mahogany, Izalond, Terra Firma.
6
    Groupname for grapejuice.
7
    Bhing, said her burglar's head, soto poce.
8
    Yussive smirte and ye mermon answerth from his beelyingplace below the tightmark, Gotahelv!
        A password, thanks.

        Yes, pearse.

        Well, all be dumbed!

        O really?9

        [Swing the banjo, bantams, bounce-the-baller's blown to fook.
Thsight near left me eyes when I seen her put thounce otay ithpot.] Hoo
cavedin earthwight

        At furscht kracht of thunder.10

        When shoo, his flutterby,

        Was netted and named.11

        Erdnacrusha, requiestress, wake em!

        And let luck's puresplutterall lucy at ease!12

        To house as wise fool ages builded.

        Sow byg eat.13

        [GNOSIS OF PRECREATE DETERMINATION. AGNOSIS OF
POSTCREATE DETERMINISM.] Staplering to tether to, steppingstone
to mount by, as the Boote's at Pickardstown. [Quartandwds.] And that
skimmelk steed still in the groundloftfan. As over all. Or be these
9
    O Evol, kool in the salg and ees how Dozi pits what a drows er.
10
     A goodrid croven in a tynwalled tub.
11
     Apis amat aram. Luna legit librum. Pulla petit pascua.
12
     And after dinn to shoot the shades.
13
     Says blistered Mary Achinhead to beautifed Tummy Tullbutt.
wingsets leaned to the outwalls, beastskin trophies of booth of Baws the
balsamboards?14 Burials be ballyhouraised! So let Bacchus e'en call! Inn
inn! Inn inn! Where. [Tickets for the Tailwaggers Terrierpuppy Raffle.]
The babbers ply the pen. The bibbers drang the den. The papplicom, the
pubblicam he's turning tin for ten. From seldomers that most frequent
him. That same erst crafty hakemouth which under the assumed name of
Ignotus Loquor, of foggy old, harangued bellyhooting fishdrunks on
their favorite stamping ground, from a father theobalder brake.15 And
Egyptus, the incenstrobed, as Cyrus heard of him? [Mars speaking.]
And Major A. Shaw after he got the miner smellpex? And old
Whiteman self, the blighty blotchy, beyond the bays, hope of
ostrogothic and ottomanic faith converters, despair of Pandemia's
postwartem plastic surgeons? But is was all so long ago. Hispano -
Cathayan - Euxine, Castillian - Emeratic - Hebridian, Espanol - Cymric
Helleniky? [Smith, no home.] Rolf the Ganger, Rough the Gangster, not
a feature alike and the face the same.16 Pastimes are past times. Now let
bygones be bei Gunne's. Saaleddies er it in this warken werden, mine
boerne, and it vild need olderwise17 since primal made alter in garden of
Idem. The tasks above are as the flasks below, saith the emerald canticle
of Hermes and all's loth and pleasestir, are we told, [Non quod sed

14
     Begge. To go the Begge. To go to Begge and to be sure to reminder Begge. Goodbeg, buggey Begge.
15
     Huntler and Pumar's animal alphabites, the first in the world from aab to zoo.
16
  We dont hear the booming cursowarries, we wont fear the fletches of fightning, we float the meditarenias
and come bask to the isle we love in spice. Punt.
17
     And this once golden bee a cimadoro.
quiat]           on        excellent          inkbottle          authority,          solarsystemised,
seriolcosmically, in a more and more almightily expanding universe
under one, there is rhymeless reason to believe, original sun. Securely
judges orb terrestrial.18 Haud certo ergo. But O felicitous culpability,
[Hearasay in paradox lust.] sweet bad cess to you for an archetypt!

        [ARCHAIC                   ZELOTYPIA                    AND              THE              ODIUM
TELEOLOGICUM.] Honour commercio's energy yet aid the linkless
proud, the plurable with everybody and ech with pal, this ernst of
Allsap's ale halliday of roaring month with its two lunar eclipses and its
three saturnine settings! Horn of Heatthen, highbrowed! Brook of Life,
backfrish! Amnios amnium, fluminiculum flaminulinorum! We seek the
Blessed One, the Harbourer - cum - Enheritance. Even Canaan the
Hateful. Ever a-going, ever a-coming. Between a stare and a sough.
Fossilisation, all branches.19 Wherefore Petra sware unto Ulma: By the
mortals' frost! [Bags.Balls.] And Ulma sware unto Petra: On my veiny
life!

        [THE LOCALISATION OF LEGEND LEADING TO THE
LEGALISATION OF LATIFUNDISM.] In these places sojournemus,
where Eblinn water, leased of carr and fen, leaving amont her shoals
and salmen browses, whom inshore breezes woo with freshets, windeth
to her broads. A phantom city, phaked of philim pholk, bowed and
sould for a four of hundreds of manhood in their three and threescore

18
     And he was a gay Lutharius anyway, Sinobiled. You can tell by their extraordinary clothes.
19
     Startnaked and bonedstiff. We vivvy soddy. All be dood.
fylkers for a price partitional of twenty six and six. [Move up,
Mackinerny! Make room for Muckinurney!] By this riverside, on our
sunnybank,20 how buona the vista, by Santa Rosa! A field of May, the
very vale of Spring. Orchards here are lodged; sainted lawrels
evremberried. You have a hoig view ashwald, a glen of marrons and of
thorns. Gleannaulinn, Ardeevin: purty glint of plaising height. This
Norman court at boundary of the ville, yon creepered tower of a church
of Ereland, meet for true saints in worshipful assemblage,21 with our
king's house of stone, belgroved of mulbrey, the still that was mill and
Kloster that was Yeomansland, the ghastcold tombshape of the quick
foregone on, the loftleaved elm Lefanunian abovemansioned, each,
every, all is for the retrospectioner. Skole! Agus skole igen!22
Sweetsome auburn, cometh up as a selfreizing flower, that fragolance of
the fraisey beds: the phoenix, his pyre, is still flaming away with
trueprattight spirit: the wren his nest is niedelig as the turrises of the
sabines are televisible. Here are the cottage and the bungalow for the
cobbeler and the brandnewburgher:23 but Izolde, her chaplet gardens, an
litlee plads af liefest pose, arride the winnerful wonders off, the
winnerful wonnerful wanders off24 [In snowdrop, trou-de-dentelle, flesh

20
     When you dreamt that you'd wealth in marble arch do you ever think of pool beg slowe.
21
     Porphyrious Olbion, redcoatliar, we were always wholly rose marines on our side every time.
22
     Now a muss wash the little face.
23
   A viking vernacular expression still used in the Summerhill district for a jerryhatted man of forty who puts
two fingers into his boiling soupplate and licks them in turn to find out if there is enough mushroom catsup
in the mutton broth.
24
     H'dk' fs' h'p'y.
and heliotrope.], with hedges of ivy and hollywood and bower of
mistletoe, are, tho if it theem tho and yeth if you pleathes,25 for the
blithehaired daughter of Angoisse. All out of two barreny old perishers,
Tytonyhands               and       Vlossyhair,        a     kilolitre       in     metromyriams.
Presepeprosapia, the parent bole. Wone tabard, wine tap and warm
tavern26 and, by ribbon development, from contact bridge to lease lapse,
only two millium two humbered and eighty thausig nine humbered and
sixty radiolumin lines to the wustworts of a Finntown's generous poet's
office. Distorted mirage, aloofliest of the plain, wherein the boxomeness
of the bedelias27 makes hobbyhodge happy in his hole.28 The store and
charter, Treetown Castle under Lynne. Rivapool? Hod a brieck on it!
But its piers eerie, its span spooky, its toll but a till, its parapets all
peripateting. D'Oblong's by his by. Which we all pass. Tons. In our
snoo. Znore. While we hickerwards the thicker. Schein. Schore. Which
assoars us from the murk of the mythelated in the barrabelowther,
bedevere butlered table round, past Morningtop's necessity and
Harington's invention, to the clarience of the childlight in the studiorium
upsturts. Here we'll dwell on homiest powers, love at the latch with
novices nig and nag. The chorus: the principals. For the rifocillation of



25
     Googlaa pluplu.
26
     Tomley. The grown man. A butcher szewched him the bloughs and braches. I'm chory to see P. Shuter.
27
     I believe in Dublin and the Sultan of Turkey.
28
  I have heard this word used by Martin Halpin, an old gardener from the Glens of Antrim who used to do
odd jobs for my godfather, the Rev. B.B. Brophy of Swords.
their inclination to the manifestation of irritation: doldorboys and doll.29
After sound, light and heat, memory, will and understanding.

        [PREAUSTERIC MAN AND HIS PURSUIT OF PAN-HYSTERIC
WOMAN.] [Bet you fippence, anythesious, there's no puggatory, are
yous game?] Here (the memories framed from walls are minding) till
wranglers for wringwrowdy wready are, F                , (at gaze, respecting,
fourteenth baronet, meet, altrettanth bancorot, chaff) and ere commence
commencement catalaunic when Aetius check chokewill Attil's gambit,
(that buxon bruzeup, give it a burl!) lead us seek, O june of eves the
jenniest, thou who fleeest flicklesome the fond fervid frondeur to
thickly thyself attach with thine efteased ensuer,30 ondrawer of our
unconscionable, flickerflapper fore our unterdrugged,31 lead us seek,
lote us see, light us find, let us missnot Maidadate, Mimosa
Multimimetica, the maymeaminning of maimoomeining! Elpis, thou
fountain of the greeces, all shall speer theeward,32 from kongen in his
canteenhus to knivers hind the knoll. Ausonius Audacior and gael,
gillie, gall.33 Singalingalying. Storiella as she is syung. Whence
followeup with endspeaking nots for yestures, plutonically pursuant on
briefest glimpse from gladrags, pretty Proserpronette whose slit satchel
spilleth peas. [There was a sweet hopeful culled Cis.]

29
     Ravens may rive so can dove deelish.
30
     A question of pull.
31
     For Rose Point see Inishmacsaint.
32
     Mannequins' Pose.
33
     Their holy presumption and hers sinfly desprit.
        [URGES AND WIDERURGES IN A PRIMITIVE SEPT.] Belisha
beacon, beckon bright! Usherette, unmesh us! That grene ray of earong
it waves us to yonder as the red, blue and yellow flogs time on the
domisole,34 with a blewy blow and a windigo. Where flash becomes
word and silents selfloud. To brace congeners, trebly bounden and
asservaged twainly. Adamman,35 Emhe, Issossianusheen and sometypes
Yggely ogs Weib. Uwayoei!36 So mag this sybilette be our shibboleth
that we may syllable her well! Vetus may be occluded behind the mou
in Veto but Nova will be nearing as their radient among the Nereids.
[The Big Bear bit the Sailor's Only. Trouble, trouble, trouble.] A one of
charmers, ay, Una Unica, charmers, who, under the branches of the
elms, in shoes as yet unshent by stoniness, wend, went, will wend a way
of honey myrrh and rambler roses mistmusk [Forening Unge Kristlike
Kvinne.] while still the maybe mantles the meiblume or ever her if have
faded from the fleur,37 their arms enlocked, (ringrang, the chimes of sex
appealing as conchitas with sentas stray,38 rung!), all thinking all of it
[Telltale me all of annaryllies.], the It with an itch in it, the All every
inch of it, the pleasure each will preen her for, the business each was
bred to breed by.39
34
     Anama anamaba anamabapa.
35
  Only for he's fathering law I could skewer that old one and slosh her out many's the time but I thinks more
of my pottles and ketts.
36
     All abunk for Tarararat! Look slipper, soppyhat, we've a doss in the manger.
37
     One must sell it to some one, the sacred name of love.
38
     Making it up as we goes along.
39
     The law of the jungerl.
        [EARLY NOTIONS OF ACQUIRED RIGHTS AND THE
INFLUENCE                    OF      COLLECTIVE                   TRADITION         UPON           THE
INDIVIDUAL.] Soon jemmijohns will cudgel about some a
rhythmatick or other over Browne and Nolan's divisional tables whereas
she, of minions' novence charily being cupid, for mug's wumping [Will
you carry my can and fight the fairies?], grooser's grubbiness, andt's
avarice and grossopper's grandegaffe, with her tootpettypout of
jemenfichue will sit and knit on solfa sofa.40 Stew of the evening,
booksyful stew. And a bodikin a boss in the Thimble Theatre. But all is
her-inbourne. Intend. From gramma's grammar [Allma Mathers,
Auctioneer.] she has it that if there is a third person, mascarine,
phelinine or nuder, being spoken abad it moods prosodes from a person
speaking to her second which is the direct object that has been spoken
to, with and at. Take the dative with his oblative41 for, even if obsolete,
it is always of interest, so spake gramma on the impetus of her
imperative, only mind your genderous towards his reflexives such that I
was to your grappa (Bott's trousend, [Old Gavelkind the Gamper and
he's as daff as you're erse.] hore a man uff!) when him was me hedon42
and mine, what the lewdy saying, his analectual pygmyhop.43 There is
comfortism in the knowledge that often hate on first hearing comes of

40
     Let me blush to think of all those halfwayhoist pullovers.
41
     I'd like his pink's cheek.
42
  Frech devil in red hairing! So that's why you ran away to sea, Mrs Lappy. Leap me, Locklaun, for you
have sensed!
43
     A washable lovable floatable doll.
love by second sight. Have your little sintalks in the dunk of
subjunctions, dual in duel and prude with pruriel, but even the aoriest
chaparound whatever plaudered perfect anent prettydotes and haec
genua omnia may perhaps chance to be about to be in the case to be
becoming a pale peterwright in spite of all your tense accusatives
whilstly you're wallfloored44 like your gerandiums for the better half of
a yearn or sob. It's a wild's kitten, my dear, who can tell a wilkling from
a warthog. For you may be as practical as is predicable but you must
have the proper sort of accident to meet that kind of a being with a
difference.45 Flame at his fumbles but freeze on his fist.46 Every letter is
a godsend, ardent Ares, brusque Boreas and glib Ganymede like zealous
Zeus, the O'Meghisthest of all. To me or not to me. Satis thy quest on.
Werbungsap! Jeg suis, vos wore a gentleman, thou arr, I am a quean. Is
a game over? The game goes on. [Undante umoroso. M. 50-50.
                     ] Cookcook! Search me. The beggar the maid the bigger the
mauler. And the greater the patrarc the griefer the pinch. And that's what
your doctor knows. O love it is the commonknounest thing how it
pashes the plutous and the paupe.47 Pop! And egg she active or spoon
she passive, all them fine clauses in Lindley's and Murrey's never
braught the participle of a present to a desponent hortatrixy,


44
     With her poodle feinting to be let off and feeling dead in herself. Is love worse living?
45
     If she can't follow suit Renée goes to the pack.
46
     Improper frictions is maledictions and mens uration makes me mad.
47
     Llong and Shortts Primer of Black and White Wenchcraft.
vindicatively I say it, from her postconditional future.48 Lumpsome is
who lumpsum pays. Quantity counts though accents falter. Yoking apart
and oblique orations parsed to one side, a brat, alanna, can choose from
so many, [I'll go for that small polly if you'll suck to your
lebbensquatsch.] be he a sollicitor's appendix, a pipe clerk or free
functionist flyswatter, that perfect little cad, from the languors and
weakness of limberlimbed lassihood till the head, back and heartaches
of waxedup womanage and heaps on heaps of other things too. Note the
Respectable              Irish      Distressed          Ladies         and      the      Merry         Mustard
Frothblowers of Humphreystown Associations. Atac first, queckqueck
quicks after. Beware how in that hist subtaile of schlangder49 lies liaison
to tease oreilles! To vert embowed set proper penchant. But learn from
that ancient tongue to be middle old modern to the minute. A spitter that
can be depended on. Though Wonderlawn's lost us for ever. Alis, alas,
she broke the glass! Liddell lokker through the leafery, ours is mistery
of pain.50 You may spin on youthlit's bike and multiplease your Mike
and Nike with your kickshoes on the algebrars [O'Mara Farrell.] but,
volve the virgil page and view, the O of woman is long when burly
those two muters sequent her [Verschwindibus.] so from Nebob51 see
you never stray who'll nimm you nice and nehm the day.

48
     The gaggles all out.
49
 He's just bug nuts on white mate he hasn't the teath nor the grits to choo and that's what's wrong with Lang
Wang Wurm, old worbbling goesbelly.
50
     Dear and I trust in all frivolity I may be pardoned for trespassing but I think I may add hell.
51
     He is my all menkind of every desception.
        [CONCOMITANCE                          OF         COURAGE,               COUNSEL        AND
CONSTANCY. ORDINATION OF OMEN, ONUS AND OBIT.
DISTRIBUTION OF DANGER, DUTY AND DESTINY. POLAR
PRINCIPLES.] One hath just been areading, hath not one, ya, ya, in
their memoiries of Hireling's puny wars, end so, [Ulstria, Monastir,
Leninstar and Connecticut. Cliopatria, thy hosies history.] und all, ga,
ga, of The O'Brien, The O'Connor, The Mac Loughlin and The Mac
Namara with summed their appondage, da, da, of Sire Jeallyous Seizer,
that gamely torskmester,52 with his duo of druidesses in ready money
rompers53 and the tryonforit of Oxthievious, Lapidous and Malthouse
Anthemy. You may fail to see the lie of that layout, Suetonia,54 but the
reflections which recur to me are that so long as beauty life is body
love55 and so bright as Mutua of your mirror holds her candle to your
caudle, lone lefthand likeless, sombring Autum of your Spring, reck you
not one spirt of anyseed whether trigemelimen cuddle his coddle or
nope. She'll confess it by her figure and she'll deny it to your face. If
you're not ruined by that one she won't do you any whim. And then?
What afters it? Gruff Gunne may blow, Gam Gonna flow, the gossans
eye the jennings aye. From the butts of Heber and Heremon, nolens
volens, brood our pansies, brune in brume. [The Eroico Furioso makes
the valet like smiling.] There's a split in the infinitive from to have to
52
     All his teeths back to the front, then the moon and then the moon with a hole behind it.
53
     Skip one, flop fore, jennies in the cabbage store.
54
     None of your cumpohlstery English here!
55
     Understudy my understandings, Sostituda, and meek thine complinement, gymnufleshed.
have been to will be. As they warred in their big innings ease now we
never shall know. Eat early earthapples. Coax Cobra to chatters. Hail,
Heva, we hear! This is the glider [The hyperape the mink he groves the
mole you see nowfor crush sake, chawley!] that gladdened the girl56 that
list to the wind that lifted the leaves that folded the fruit that hung on the
tree that grew in the garden Gough gave. Wide hiss, we're wizening.
Hoots fromm, we're globing. Why hidest thou hinder thy husband his
name? Leda, Lada, aflutter-afraida, so does your girdle grow! Willed
without witting, whorled without aimed. Pappapassos, Mammamanet,
warwhetswut and whowitswhy.57 But it's tails for toughs and titties for
totties and come buckets come bats till deeleet.58 [Pige pas.]

        [PANOPTICAL PURVIEW OF POLITICAL PROGRESS AND
THE FUTURE PRESENTATION OF THE PAST] Dark ages clasp the
daisy roots, Stop, if you are a sally of the allies, hot off Minnowaurs and
naval actiums, picked engagements and banks of rowers. [                                                ]

Please stop if you're a B.C. minding missy, please do. But should you
prefer A.D. stepplease. And if you miss with a venture it serves you
girly well glad. But, holy Janus, I was forgetting the Blitzenkopfs! Here,
Hengegst and Horsesauce, take your heads59 out of that taletub! And
leave your hinnyhennyhindyou! It's haunted. The chamber. Of errings.

56
  Tho' I have one just like that to home, deadleaf brown with quicksilver appliques, would whollymost
applissiate a nice shiny sleekysilk out of that slippering snake charmeuse.
57
     What's that ma'am? says I.
58
     As you say yourself.
59
     That's the lethemuse but it washes off.
Whoan, tug, trace, stirrup! [Seidlitz powther for slogan plumpers.] It is
distinctly understouttered that, sense you threehandshighs put your
twofootlarge timepates in that dead wash of Lough Murph and until
such time pace one and the same Messherrn the grinning statesmen,
Brock and Leon, have shunted the grumbling coundedtouts, Starlin and
Ser Artur Ghinis. Foamous homely brew, bebattled by bottle, gageure
de guegerre.60 [Hoploits and atthems.] Bull igien bear and then
bearagain bulligan. Gringrin gringrin. Staffs varsus herds and bucks
vursus barks. By old Grumbledum's walls. [Curragh machree, me
bosthoon fiend. Femilies hug bank!] Bumps, bellows and bawls.61
Opprimor's down, up up Opima! Rents and rates and tithes and taxes,
wages, saves and spends. Heil, heptarched span of peace!62 Live, league
of lex, nex and the mores! Fas est dass and foe err you. Impovernment
of the booble by the bauble for the bubble. So wrap up your worries in
your woe (wumpumtum!) and shake down the shuffle for the throw. [All
we suffered under them Cowdung Forks and how we enjoyed over our
pick of the basketfild. Old Kine's Meat Meal.] For there's one mere ope63
for downfall ned. As Hanah Levy, shrewd shroplifter, and nievre anore
skidoos with her spoileds.64 To add gay touches. For hugh and guy and
goy and jew. To dimpled and pimpled and simpled and wimpled. A

60
     Where he fought the shessock of his stimmstammer and we caught the pepettes of our lovelives.
61
     Shake eternity and lick creation.
62
     I'm blest if I can see.
63
     Hoppity Huhneye, hoosh the hen. I like cluckers, you like nuts (wink).
64
     Sweet, medium and dry like altar wine.
peak in a poke and a pig in a pew.65 She wins them by wons, a haul
hectoendecate, for mangay mumbo jumbjubes tak mutts and jeffs
muchas bracelonettes gracies barcelonas.66 [Flieflie for the jillies and a
bombambum for the nappotondus.] O what a loovely freespeech 'twas
(tep)67 to gar howalively hintergrunting! Tip. Like lilt of larks to
burdened crocodile,68 or skittering laubhing at that wheeze of old
windbag, Blusterboss, blowharding about all he didn't do. Hell o' your
troop! With is the winker for the muckwits of willesly and nith is the
nod for the umproar napollyon and hitheris poorblond piebold hoerse.
Huirse. With its tricuspidal hauberkhelm coverchaf emblem on. For the
man that broke the ranks on Monte Sinjon. [Murdoch.] The allriddle of
it? That that is allruddy with us, ahead of schedule, which already is
plan accomplished from and syne: [Pas d'action, peu de sauce.] Daft
Dathy of the Five Positions (the death ray stop him!) is still, as
reproaches Paulus, on the Madderhorn and, entre chats and hobnobs,69
daring Dunderhead to shiver his timbers and Hannibal mac Hamiltan the
Hegerite70 (more livepower elbow him!) ministerbuilding up, as
repreaches Timothy, in Saint Barmabrac's.71 Number Thirty two West

65
     Who'll buy me penny babies?
66
     Well, Maggy, I got your castoff devils all right and fits lovely. And am vaguely graceful. Maggy thanks.
67
     My six is no secret, sir, she said.
68
     Yes, there, Tad, thanks, give, from, tathair, look at that now.
69
     Go up quick, stay so long, come down slow!
70
     If I gnows me gneesgnobs the both of him is gnatives of Genuas.
71
     A glass of peel and pip for Mr Potter of Texas, please.
Eleventh streak looks on to that (may all in the tocoming of the
sempereternal speel spry with it!) datetree doloriferous which more and
over leafeth earlier than every growth [From the seven tents of Joseph
till the calends of Mary Marian, olivehunkered and thorny too.] and,
elfshot, headawag, with frayed nerves wondering till they feeled sore
like any woman that has been born at all events to the purdah and for the
howmanyeth and howmovingth time at what the demons in that
jackhouse [As Shakefork might pitch it.] that jerry built for Massa and
Missus and hijo de puta, the sparksown fermament of the starryk
fieldgosongingon where blows a nemone at each blink of windstill72
they were sliding along and sleeting aloof and scouting around and
shooting about. Allwhichwhile or whereaballoons for good vaunty years
Dagobert is in Clane's clean hometown prepping up his prepueratory
and learning how to put a broad face bronzily out through a broken
breached meataerial from Bryan Awlining! [Puzzly, puzzly, I smell a
cat.] Erin's hircohaired culoteer.73

        [FROM               CENOGENETIC                 DICHOTOMY                     THROUGH
DIAGONISTIC CONCILIANCE TO DYNASTIC CONTINUITY.]
And as, these things being so or ere those things having done, way back
home in Pacata Auburnia,74 (untillably holy gammel Eire) one world
[Two makes a wing at the macroscope telluspeep.] burrowing on

72
     All the world loves a big gleaming jelly.
73
     A pengeneepy for your warcheekeepy.
74
  My globe goes gaddy at geography giggle pending which time I was looking for my shoe all through
Arabia.
another, (if you've got me, neighbour, in any large lumps, geek?, and
got the strong of it) Standfest, our topiocal sagon hero, or any otther
macotther, signs is on the bellyguds bastille back, bucket up with
fullness, ant silvering to her jubilee,75 birchleaves her jointure, our lavy
in waving, visage full of flesh and fat as a hen's i' forehead, Airyanna
and Blowyhart topsirturvy, [From the Buffalo Times of bysone days.]
that royal pair in their palace of quicken boughs hight The Goat and
Compasses ('phone number 17:69, if you want to know76) his seaarm
strongsround her, her velivole eyne ashipwracked, have discusst their
things of the past, crime and fable with shame, home and profit,77 why
lui lied to lei and hun tried to kill ham, scribbledehobbles, in whose
veins runs a mixture of, are heat bent and hard upon. Spell me the
chimes. They are tales all tolled.78 Today is well thine but where's may
tomorrow be. [Quick quake quokes the parrotbook of dates.] But, bless
his cowly head and press his crankly hat, what a world's woe is each's
other's weariness waiting to beadroll his own properer mistakes, the
backslapping gladhander,79 [Some is out for twoheaded dulcarnons but
more pulfers turnips.
Omnitudes in a knutshedell.] free of his florid future and the other

75
     It must be some bugbear in the gender especially when old which they all soon get to look.
76
     After me looking up the plan in Humphrey's Justice of the Piece it said to see preseeding chaps.
77
  O boyjones and hairyoddities! Only noane told missus of her massas behaving she would laugh that flat
that after that she had sanked down on her fat arks they would shaik all to sheeks.
78
     Traduced into jinglish janglage for the nusances of dolphins born.
79
  He gives me pulpititions with his Castlecowards never in the twowsers and ever in those twawsers and
then babeteasing us out of our hoydenname.
singing likeness, dirging a past of bloody altars, gale with a blost to him,
dove without gall. And she, of the jilldaw's nest80 who tears up
lettereens she never apposed a pen upon.81 Yet sung of love and the
monster man. What's Hiccupper to hem or her to Hagaba? Ough, ough,
brieve kindli!82

        [THE             MONGREL                    UNDER              THE           DUNGMOUND.
SIGNIFICANCE                     OF       THE         INFRALIMINAL                 INTELLIGENCE.
OFFRANDES.]                    Dogs'         vespers         are    anending.          Vespertiliabitur.
Goteshoppard quits his gabhard cloke to sate with Becchus. Zumbock!
Achevre! Yet wind will be ere fadervor83 and the hour of fruminy and
bergoo bell [For all us kids under his aegis.] if Nippon have pearls or
opals Eldorado, the daindy dish, the lecking out! Gipoo, good oil! For
(hushmagandy!) long 'tis till gets bright that all cocks waken and birds
Diana84 with dawnsong hail. Aught darks flou a duskness. Bats that?
There peepeestrilling. [Saving the public his health.] At Brannan's on
the moor. At Tam Fanagan's weak yat his still's going strang. And still
here is noctules and can tell things acommon on by that fluffy feeling.
Larges loomy wheelhouse to bodgbox85 [Superlative absolute of

80
 My goldfashioned bother near drave me roven mad and I dyeing to keep my linefree face like readymaid
maryangs for jollycomes smashing Holmes.
81
     What I would like is a jade louistone to go with the moon's increscent.
82
     Parley vows the Askinwhose? I do, Ida. And how to call the cattle black. Moopetsi meepotsi.
83
  I was so snug off in my apholster's creedle but at long leash I'll stretch more capritious in his dapplepied
bed.
84
     Pipette. I can almost feed their sweetness at my lisplips.
85
     A liss in hunterland.
Porterstown.] lumber up with hoodie hearsemen carrawain we keep is
peace who follow his law, Sunday King.86 His sevencoloured's soot
(Ochone! Ochonal!)87 and his imponence one heap lumpblock
(Mogoul!). [Why so mucky spick bridges span our Fluminian road. P.C.
Helmut's in the cottonwood, listnin.] And rivers burst out like weeming
racesround joydrinks for the fewnrally,88 where every feaster's a foster's
other, fiannians all.89 The wellingbreast, he willing giant, the mountain
mourning his duggedy dew. To obedient of civicity in urbanious at
felicity what'll yet meek Mike90 our diputy mimber when he's head on
poll and Peter's burgess and Miss Mishy Mushy is tiptupt by Toft Taft.
[The throne is an umbrella strande and a sceptre's a stick. Jady jewel,
our daktar deer.] Boblesse gobleege. For as Anna was at the beginning
lives yet and will return after great deap sleap rerising and a white night
high with a cows of Drommhiem as shower as there's a wet enclouded
in Westwicklow or a little black rose a truant in a thorntree. [Gautamed
budders deossiphysing our Theas.] We drames our dreams tell Bappy
returns. And Sein annews. We will not say it shall not be, this passing of
order and order's coming, but in the herbest country and in the country
around Blath as in that city self of legionds they look for its being ever


86
  I wonder if I put the old buzzerd one night to suckle in Millickmaam's honey like they use to emballem
some of the special popes with a book in his hand and his mouth open.
87
     And a ripping rude rape in his lucreasious togery.
88
     Will ye nought would wet your weapons, warriors bard?
89
     Roe, Williams, Bewey, Greene, Gorham, McEndicoth and Vyler, the lays of ancient homes.
90
     The stanidsglass effect, you could sugerly swear buttermilt would not melt down his dripping ducks.
yet. So shuttle the pipers done.91 Eric aboy!92 And it's time that all paid
tribute to this massive mortiality, the pink of punk perfection as
photography in mud. [By lineal in pondus overthepoise.] Some may
seek to dodge the gobbet for its quantity of quality but who wants to
cheat the choker's got to learn to chew the cud. Allwhichhole scrubs on
scroll circuminiuminluminatedhave encuoniams here and improperies
there.93 [Pitchcap and triangle, noose and tinctunc.] With a pansy for
the pussy in the corner.94

        [INCIPIT INTERMISSIO.] Bewise of Fanciulla's heart, the heart of
Fanciulla! Even the recollection of willow fronds is a spellbinder that
lets to hear.95 The rushes by the grey nuns' pond: ah eh oh let me sigh
too. Coalmansbell: behoves you handmake of the load. Jenny Wren:
pick, peck. Johnny Post: pack, puck.96 [Uncle Flabbius Muximus to
Niecia Flappia Minnimiss. As this is. And as this this is.] All the world's
in want and is writing a letters.97 A letters from a person to a place about
a thing. And all the world's on wish to be carrying a letters. A letters to a
king about a treasure from a cat.98 [Dear Brotus, land me arrears.]
91
     Thickathigh and Thinathews with sant their dam.
92
     Oh, could we do with this waddled of ours like that redbanked profanian with his bakset of yosters.
93
     Gosem pher, gezumpher, greeze a jarry grim felon! Good bloke him!
94
  And if they was setting on your stool as hard as my was she could beth her bothom dolours he'd have a
culious impressiom on the diminitive that chafes our ends.
95
     When I'am Enastella and am taken for Essastessa I'll do that droop on the pohlmann's piano.
96
     Heavenly twinges, if it's one of his I'll fearly feint as swoon as he enterrooms.
97
     To be slipped on, to be slept by, to be conned to, to be kept up. And when you're done push the chain.
98
     With her modesties office.
When men want to write a letters. Ten men, ton men, pen men, pun
men, wont to rise a ladder. [Rockaby, babel, flatten a wall.] And den
men, dun men, fen men, fun men, hen men, hun men went to raze a
leader. [How he broke the good news to Gent.] Is then any lettersday
from many peoples, Daganasanavitch? Empire, your outermost.99 A
posy cord. Plece.

        [MAJOR AND MINOR MODES COALESCING PROLIFERATE
HOMOGENUINE HOMOGENEITY.] We have wounded our way on
foe tris prince till that force in the gill is faint afarred and the face in the
treebark feigns afear. This is rainstones ringing. Strangely cult for this
ceasing of the yore. But Erigureen is ever. Pot price pon patrilinear plop,
if the osseletion of the onkring gives omen nome? Since alls war that
end war let sports be leisure and bring and buy fair. Ah ah athclete, blest
your bally bathfeet! Towntoquest, fortorest, the hour that hies is hurley.
A halt for hearsake.100 A scene at sight. Or dreamoneire. Which they

99
     Strutting as proud as a great turquin weggin that cuckhold on his Eddems and Clay's hat.
100
    Come, smooth of my slate, to the beat of my blosh! With all these gelded ewes jilting about and the
thrills and ills of laylock blossoms three's so much more plants than chants for cecilies that I was thinking
fairly killing times of putting an end to myself and my malody, when I remembered all your pupilteacher's
erringnesses in perfection class. You sh'undn't write you can't if you w'udn't pass for undevelopmented. This
is the propper way to say that, Sr. If it's me chews to swallow all you saidn't you can eat my words for it as
sure as there's a key in my kiss. Quick erit faciofacey. When we will conjugate together toloseher tomaster
tomiss while morrow fans amare hour, verbe de vie and verve to vie, with love ay loved have I on my back
spine and does for ever. Your are me severe? Then rue. My intended, Jr, who I'm throne away on, (here he
inst, my lifstack, a newfolly likon) when I slip through my pettigo I'll get my decree and take seidens when
I'm not ploughed first by some Rolando the Lasso, and flaunt on the flimsyfilmsies for to grig my collage
juniorees who, though they flush fuchsia, are they octette and virginity in my shade but always my figurants.
They may be yea of my year but they're nary nay of my day. Wait till spring has sprung in spickness and
prigs beg in to pry they'll be plentyprime of housepets to pimp and pamper my. Impending marriage. Nature
tells everybody about but I learned all the runes of the gamest game ever from my old nourse Asa. A most
adventuring trot is her and she vicking well knowed them all heartswise and fourwords. How Olive d'Oyly
and Winnie Carr, bejupers, they reized the dressing of a salandmon and how a peeper coster and a salt sailor
shall memorise. By her freewritten Hopely for ear that annalykeses if
scares for eye that sumns. Is it in the now woodwordings of our sweet
plantation where the branchings then will singingsing tomorrows gone
[Bibelous hicstory and Barbarassa harestary.] and yesters outcome as
Satadays aftermoon lex leap smiles on the twelvemonthsminding? Such
is. Dear (name of desired subject, A.N.), well, and I go on to.
Shlicksher. I and we (tender condolences for happy funeral, one if) so
sorry to (mention person suppressed for the moment, F.M.). Well
(enquiries after allhealths) how are you (question maggy). [A shieling in
coppingers and porrish soup all days.] A lovely (introduce to domestic
circles) pershan of cates. Shrubsher. Those pothooks mostly she hawks
from Poppa Vere Foster [How matches metroosers?] but these curly
mequeues are of Mippa's moulding. Shrubsheruthr. (Wave gently in the
ere turning ptover.) Well, mabby (consolation of shopes) to soon air.
With best from cinder Christinette if prints chumming, can be when
desires Soldi, for asamples, backfronted or, if all, peethrolio or Get my
Prize, using her flower or perfume [Le hélos tombaut soul sur la jambe
de marche.] or, if veryveryvery chumming, in otherwards, who she
supposed adeal, kissists my exits. Shlicksheruthr. From Auburn

med a mustied poet atwaimen. It most have bean Mad Mullans planted him. Bina de Bisse and Trestrine von
Terrefin. Sago sound, rite go round, kill kackle, kook kettle and (remember all should I forget to) bolt the
thor. Auden. Wasn't it just divining that dog of a dag in Skokholme as I sat astrid uppum their Drewitt's
altar, as cooledas as culcumbre, slapping my straights till the sloping ruins, postillion, postallion, a swinge a
swank, with you offering me clouts of illscents and them horners stagstruck on the leasward! Don't be of
red, you blanching mench! This isabella I'm on knows the ruelles of the rut and she don't fear andy mandy.
So sing loud, sweet cheeriot, like anegreon in heaven! The good fother with the twingling in his eye will
always have cakes in his pocket to bethroat us with for our allmichael good. Amum. Amum. And Amum
again. For tough troth is stronger than fortuitous fiction and it's the surplice money, oh my young friend and
ah me sweet creature, what buys the bed while wits borrows the clothes.
chenlemagne. Pious and pure fair one, all has concomitated to this that
she shall tread them lifetrees leaves whose silence hitherto has shone as
sphere of silver fastalbarnstone, that fount Bandusian shall play liquick
music and after odours sigh of musk. Blotsbloshblothe, one dear that
was. Sleep in the water, drug at the fire, shake the dust off and dream
your one who would give her sidecurls to. Till later Lammas is led in by
baith our washwives, [Mai maintenante elle est venuse.] a weird of
wonder tenebrous as that evil thorngarth, a field of faery blithe as this
flowing wild.

      [THE        PART          PLAYED             BY        BELLETRISTICKS                     IN         THE
BELLUM-PAX-BELLUM.                            MUTUOMORPHOMUTATION.]                                        [Two
Dons Johns Threes Totty Askins.] Aujourd'hui comme aux temps le
Pline et de Columelle la jacinthe se plaît dans les Gaules, la pervenche
en Illyrie, la marguerite sur les ruines de Numance101 et pendant
qu'autour d'elles les villes ont changé de maîtres et de noms, que
plusieurs sont entrées dans le néant, que les civilisations se sont
choquées et brisées, leurs paisibles générations ont traversé les ages et
sont arrivées jusqu'à nous, [Also Spuke Zerothruster.] fraîches et riantes
comme aux jours des batailles.102

      [SORTES             VIRGINIANAE.]                   Margaritomancy!                Hyacinthinous
pervinciveness! Flowers. A cloud. But Bruto and Cassio are ware only

101
    The nasal foss of our natal folkfarthers so so much now for Valsinggiddyrex and his grand arks day
triump.
102
   Translout that gaswind into turfish, Teague, that's a good bog and you, Thady, poliss it off, there's
nateswipe, on to your blottom pulper.
of trifid tongues103 the whispered wilfulness, ('tis demonal!) [A saxum
shillum for the sextum but nothums for that parridge preast.] and
shadows shadows multiplicating (il folsoletto nel falsoletto col
fazzolotto dal fuzzolezzo),104 totients quotients, they tackle their quarrel.
Sickamoor's so woful sally. Ancient's aerger. And eachway bothwise
glory signs. What if she love Sieger less though she leave Ruhm moan?
That's how our oxyggent has gotten ahold of half their world. Moving
about in the free of the air and mixing with the ruck. Enten eller, either
or.

        [INTERROGATION.] And?

        [EXCLAMATION.] Nay, rather!

        [ANTITHESIS OF AMBIDUAL ANTICIPATION. THE MIND
FACTORY, ITS GIVE AND TAKE.] With sobs for his job, with tears
for his toil, [Tricks stunts.] with horror for his squalor but with pep for
his perdition,105 lo, the boor plieth as the laird hireth him.

        [AUSPICIUM.] Boon on begyndelse.

        [AUGURIA.] At maturing daily gloryaims!106

        [DIVINITY NOT DEITY THE UNCERTAINTY JUSTIFIED BY
OUR CERTITUDE. EXAMPLES.] A flink dab for a freck dive and a
103
   You daredevil donnelly, I love your piercing lots of lies and your flashy foreign mail so here's my cowrie
card, I dalgo, with all my exes, wise and sad.
104
   All this Mitchells is a niggar for spending and I will go to the length of seeing that one day Big Mig will
be nickleless himself.
105
      While I'll wind the wildwoods' bluckbells among my window's weeds.
106
      Lawdy Dawdy Simpers.
stern poise for a swift pounce was frankily at the manual arith sure
enough which was the bekase he knowed from his cradle, no bird better,
why his fingures were giving him whatfor to fife with. [Truckeys' cant
for dactyl and spondee.] First, by observation, there came boko and nigh
him wigworms and nigh him tittlies and nigh him cheekadeekchimple
and nigh him pickpocket with pickpocketpumb, pickpocketpoint,
pickpocketprod, pickpocketpromise and upwithem. Holy Joe in lay
Eden.107 And anyhows always after them the dimpler he weighed the
fonder fell he of his null four lovedroyd curdinals, his element curdinal
numen and his enement curdinal marryng and his epulent curdinal
weisswassh and his eminent curdinal Kay O'Kay. [Panoplous peregrine
pifflicative pomposity.] Always would he be reciting of them, hoojahs
koojahs, up by rota, in his Fanden's catachysm from fursed to laced,
quickmarch to decemvers, so as to pin the tenners, thumbs down. And
anon an aldays, strues yerthere, would he wile arecreating em om
lumerous ways, caiuscounting in the scale of pin puff pive piff, piff puff
pive poo, poo puff pive pree, pree puff pive pfoor, pfoor puff pive
pippive, poopive,108 Niall Dhu, Foughty Unn, Enoch Thortig, endso one,
like to pitch of your cap, pac, on to tin tall spillicans.109 [Non plus ulstra,
Elba, nec, cashelbum tuum.] To sum, borus pew notus pew eurus pew
zipher. Ace, deuce, tricks, quarts, quims. Mumtiplay of course and carry

107
      But where, O where, is me lickle dig done?
108
      That's his whisper waltz I like from Pigott's with that Lancydancy step. Stop.
109
    Twelve buttles man, twentyeight bows of curls, forty bonnets woman and every youthfully yours makes
alleven add the hundred.
to their whole number. While on the other hand, traduced by their
comedy nominator to the loaferst terms for their aloquent parts, sexes,
suppers, oglers, novels and dice.110 He could find (the rakehelly!) by
practice the valuse of thine-tomine articles with no reminder for an
equality of relations and, with the helpings from his tables, improduce
fullmin to trumblers, links unto chains, weys in Nuffolk till tods of
Yorek, oozies ad libs and several townsends, several hundreds, civil-to-
civil imperious gallants into gells (Irish), bringing alliving stone
allaughing down to grave clothnails and a league of archers, fools and
lurchers under the rude rule of fumb. [Dondderwedder Kyboshicksal]
What signifieth whole that111 but, be all the prowess of ten, 'tis as
strange to relate he, nonparile to rede, rite and reckan, caught allmeals
dullmarks for his nucleuds and alegobrew. They wouldn't took bearings
no how anywheres. O them doddhunters and allanights, aabs and baas
for agnomes, yees and zees for incognits, bate him up jerrybly! Worse
nor herman dororrhea. Give you the fantods, seemed to him. They ought
to told you every last word first stead of trying every which way to
kinder smear it out poison long. Show that the median, hce che ech,
interecting at royde angles the parilegs of a given obtuse one biscuts
both the arcs that are in curveachord behind. [A stodge Angleshman has
been worked by eccentricity.] Brickbaths. The family umbroglia. A
Tullagrove pole112 to the Height of County Fearmanagh has a septain
110
      Gamester Damester in the road to Rouen, he grows more like his deed every die.
111
      Slash-the-Pill lifts the pellet. Run, Phoenix, run!
112
      Dideney, Dadeney, Dudeney, O, I'd know that putch on your poll.
inclinaison113 and the graphplot for all the functions in Lower County
Monachan, whereat samething is rivisible by nighttim, may be involted
into the zeroic couplet, palls pell inhis heventh glike noughty times                                   ,
find, [An oxygon is naturally reclined to rest.] if you are not literally
cooefficient, how minney combinaisies and permutandies can be played
on the international surd! pthwndxrclzp!, hids cubid rute being
extructed, taking anan illitterettes, ififif at a tom. Answers, (for teasers
only).114 Ten, twent, thirt, see, ex and three icky totchty ones. From
solation to solution. Imagine the twelve deaferended dumbbawls of the
whowl abovebeugled to be the contonuation through regeneration of the
urutteration of the word in pregross. It follows that, if the two
antesedents              be     bissyclitties      and      the     three    comeseekwenchers
trundletrikes, then, Aysha Lalipat [Ba be bi bo bum.] behidden on the
footplate, Big Whiggler115 restant upsittuponable, the NCR116 presents
to us (tandem year at lasted length!) an ottomantic turquo-indaco of
pictorial shine by pictorial shimmer so long as, gad of the gidday,
pictorial summer, viridorefulvid, lits asheen, but (lenz alack lends a lot),
if this habby cyclic erdor be outraciously enviolated by a mierelin
roundtableturning, like knuts in maze, the zitas runnind hare and dart117

113
      That is tottinghim in his boots.
114
      Come all ye hapney coachers and support the richview press.
115
   Braham Baruch he married his cook to Massach McKraw her uncle-in-law who wedded his widow to
Hjalmar Kjaer who adapted his daughter to Braham the Bear. V for Wadlock, P for shift, H for Lona the
Konkubine.
116
      A gee is just a jay on the jaunts cowsway.
117
      Talking about trilbits.
with the yeggs in their muddle, like a seven of wingless arrows,
hodgepadge, thump, kick and hurry, all boy more missis blong him he
race quickfeller all same hogglepiggle longer house blong him,118
[Finnfinnotus of Cincinnati.] while the catched and dodged exarx seems
himmulteemiously to beem (he wins her hend! he falls to tail!) the ersed
ladest mand119 and (uhu and uhud!) the losed farce on erroroots,120
twalegged poneys and threehandled dorkeys (madahoy, morahoy,
lugahoy, jogahoyaway) MPM brings us a rainborne pamtomomiom,
[Arthurgink's hussies and Everguin's men.] aqualavant to (cat my dogs,
if I baint dingbushed like everything!) kaksitoista volts yksitoista volts
kymmenen volts yhdeksan volts kahdeksan volts seitseman volts kuusi
volts         viisi     volts      nelja      volts       kolme          volts    kaksi   volts yksi!
allahthallacamellated, caravan series to the finish of helve's fractures.121
[Nom de nombres! The balbearians.] In outher wards, one from five,
two to fives ones, one from fives two millamills with a mill and a half a
mill and twos twos fives fives of bully clavers. For a surview over all
the factionables see Iris in the Evenine's World.122 Binomeans to be
comprendered. Inexcessible as thy by god ways. The aximones. And
their prostalutes. For his neuralgiabrown. Equal to = aosch.

118
      Barneycorrall, a precedent for the prodection of curiosity from children.
119
      A pfurty pscore of ruderic rossies haremhorde for his divelsion.
120
      Look at your mad father on his boneshaker fraywhaling round Myriom square.
121
   Try Asia for the assphalt body with the concreke soul and the forequarters of the moon behinding out of
his phase.
122
   Try Asia for the assphalt body with the concreke soul and the forequarters of the moon behinding out of
his phase. Indiana Blues on the violens.
        [HEPTAGRAMMATON.] P.t.l.o.a.t.o.

        [HYPOTHESES OF COMMONEST EXPERIENCES BEFORE
APOTHEOSIS OF THE LUSTRAL PRINCIPIUM.] So, bagdad, after
those initials falls and that primary taincture, as I know and you know
yourself, begath, and the arab in the ghetto knows better, by nettus, nor
anymeade or persan, comic cuts and series exerxeses always were to be
capered in Casey's frost book of, page torn on dirty, to be hacked at
Hickey's, hucksler, Wellington's Iron Bridge, [Vive Paco Hunter!] and
so, by long last, as it would shuffle out, must he to trump adieu atout
atous to those cardinhands he a big deal missed, radmachrees and
rossecullinans and blagpikes in suitclover. [The hoisted in red and the
lowered in black.] Dear hearts of my counting, would he revoke them,
forewheel to packnumbers, and, the time being no help fort, plates to
lick one and turn over.

        [INGENIOUS                 LABOURTENACITY             AS   BETWEEN
INGENUOUS AND LIBERTINE. PROPE AND PROCUL IN THE
CONVERGENCE OF THEIR CONTRAPULSIVENESS.] Problem ye
ferst, construct ann aquilittoral dryankle Probe loom! With his primal
handstoe in his sole salivarium. [The boss's bess bass is the browd of
Mullingar.] Concoct an equoangular trillitter.123 On the name of the
tizzer and off the tongs and off the mythametical tripods. Beatsoon. Can
you nei do her, numb? asks Dolph,124 suspecting the answer know.

123
      As Rhombulus and Rhebus went building rhomes one day.
124
      The trouveller.
Oikkont, ken you, ninny? asks Kev,125 expecting the answer guess.126
Nor was the noer long disappointed for easiest of kisshams, he was
made vicewise. [The aliments of jumeantry.] Oc, tell it to oui, do, Sem!
Well, 'tis oil thusly. First mull a mugfull of mud, son.127 Oglores, the
virtuoser prays, olorum What the D.V. would I to that for? That's a
goosey's ganswer you're for giving me, he is told, what the Deva would
you do that for?128 Now, sknow royol road to Puddlin, take your mut for
a first beginning, big to bog, back to bach. [Wolsherwomens at their
weirdst.] Anny liffle mud which cometh out of Mam will doob, I guess.
A.I. Amnium instar. And to find a locus for an alp get a howlth on her
bayrings as a prisme O and for a second O unbox your compasses. I
cain but are you able? Amicably nod. Gu it! So let's seth off betwain us.
Prompty? Mux your pistany at a point of the coastmap to be called a but
pronounced olfa. There's the isle of Mun, ah! O! Tis just. Bene! Now,
whole in applepine odrer129

        (for — husk, hisk, a spirit spires — Dolph, dean of idlers, meager
suckling of gert stoan, though barekely a balbose boy, he too, — venite,
preteriti,130 sine mora dumque de entibus nascituris decentius in lingua
roman mortuorum parva chartula liviana ostenditur, sedentes in letitiae
125
      Of the disorded visage.
126
      Singlebarrelled names for doubleparalleled twixtytwins.
127
      Like pudging a spoon fist of sugans into a sotspot of choucolout.
128
      Will you walk into my wavetrap? said the spiter to the shy.
129
      If we each could always do all we ever did.
130
      Dope in Canorian words we've made. Spish from the Doc.
super ollas carnium, spectantes immo situm lutetiae unde auspiciis
secundis tantae consurgent humanae stirpes, antiquissimam flaminum
amborium Jordani et Jambaptistae mentibus revolvamus sapientiam:
totum tute fluvii modo mundo fluere, eadem quae ex aggere fututa
iterum inter alveum fore futura, quodlibet sese ipsum per aliudpiam
agnoscere contrarium, omnem demun amnem ripis rivalibus amplecti131
recurrently often, when him moved he would cake their chair, coached
rebelliumtending mikes of his same and over his own choirage at
Backlane Univarsity, among of which pupal souaves the pizdrool was
pulled up, bred and battered, for a dillon a dollar,132 chanching letters
for them vice o'verse to bronze mottes and blending tschemes for em in
tropadores and doublecressing twofold thruths and devising tingling
tailwords too whilest, cunctant that another would finish his sentence
for him, he druider would smilabit eggways133 ned, he, to don't say
nothing, would, so prim, and pick upon his ten ordinailed ungles, trying
to undo with his teeth the knots made by his tongue, retelling humself
by the math hour, long as he's brood reel of funnish ficts apout the shee,
how faust of all and on segund thoughts and the thirds the charmhim
girlalove and fourthermore and filthily with bag from Oxatown and
baroccidents and proper accidence and hoptohill and hexenshoes, in fine
the whole damning letter; and, in point of feet, when he landed in


131
      Basqueesh, Finnican, Hungulash and Old Teangtaggle, the only pure way to work a curse.
132
      An ounceworth of onions for a pennyawealth of sobs.
133
      Who brought us into the yellow world!
ourland's leinster134 of saved and solomnones for the twicedhecame
time, off Lipton's strongbowed launch, the Lady Eva, in a tan soute of
sails135 he converted it's nataves, name saints, young ordnands,
maderaheads and old unguished P.T. Publikums, through the medium of
znigznaks with sotiric zeal, to put off the barcelonas136 from their
peccaminous corpulums (Gratings, Mr Dane!) and kiss on their bottes
(Master!) as often as they came within bloodshot of that other familiar
temple and showed em the celestine way to by his tristar and his flop
hattrick and his perry humdrum dumb and numb nostrums that he larned
in Hymbuktu,137 and that same galloroman cultous is very prevailend up
to this windiest of landhavemiseries all over what was beforeaboots a
land of nods, in spite of all the bloot, all the braim, all the brawn, all the
brile, that was shod, that were shat, that was shuk all the while, for our
massangrey if mosshungry people, the at Wickerworks,138 still hold ford
to their healing and139 byleave in the old weights downupon the
Swanny, innovated by him, the prence di Propagandi, the chrism for the
christmass, the pillar of the perished and the rock o'ralereality, and it is
veritably belied, we belove, that not allsods of esoupcans that's in the
queen's pottage post and not allfinesof greendgold that the Indus
134
      Because it's run on the mountain and river system.
135
   When all them allied sloopers was ventitillated in their poppos and, sliding down by creek and veek, stole
snaking out to sea.
136
      They were plumped and plumed and jerried and citizens and racers, and cinnamonhued.
137
      Creeping Crawleys petery parley, banished to his native Ireland from erring under Ryan.
138
      Had our retrospectable fearfurther gatch mutchtatches?
139
      That is to sight, when cleared of factions, vulgure and decimating.
contains would overhinduce them, (o.p.) to steeplechange back once
from their ophis workship and twice on sundises, to their ancient flash
and crash habits of old Pales time ere beam slewed cable140 or Derzherr,
live wire, fired Benjermine Funkling outa th'Empyre, sin righthand son;
which, cummal, having listed curefully to the interlooking and the
underlacking of her twentynine shifts or his continental's curses,
pummel, apostrophised Byrne's and Flamming's and Furniss's and Bill
Hayses's and Ellishly Haught's, hoc, they (t.a.W.), sick or whole, stiff or
sober, let drop as a doombody drops, without another ostrovgods word
eitherways,              in     their   own       lineal     descendance,           as     priesto   as
puddywhack,141 coal on:142 and, as we gang along to gigglehouse,
talking of molniacs' manias and missions for mades to scotch the
schlang and leathercoats for murty magdies, of course this has blameall
in that medeoturanian world to say to blessed by Pointer the Grace's his
privates judgements143 whenso to put it, disparito, duspurudo,
desterrado, despertieu, or, saving his presents for his own onefriend
Bevradge, Conn the Shaughraun; but to return for a moment from the
reptile's age144 to the coxswain on the first landing (page Ainee Rivière!)
if the pretty Lady Elisabbess, Hotel des Ruines — she laid her batsleeve
for him two trueveres tell love (on the Ides of Valentino's, at Idleness,

140
      They just spirits a body away.
141
      Patatapadatback.
142
      Dump her (the missuse).
143
      Fox him! The leggy colt!
144
      Do he not know that walleds had wars. Harring man, is neow king. This is modeln times.
Floods Area, Isolade, Liv's lonely daughter, with the Comes Tichiami,
of Prima Vista, Abroad, suddenly), and beauty alone of all dare say
when now, uncrowned, deceptered, in what niche of time145 is Shee or
where in the rose world trysting, that was the belle of La Chapelle,
shapely Liselle, and the peg-of-my-heart of all the tompull or on whose
limbs-tolave her semicupiose eyes now kindling themselves are
brightning,146 O Shee who then (4.32 M.P., old time, to be precise,
according to all three doctors waterburies that was Mac Auliffe and poor
MacBeth and poor MacGhimley to the tickleticks, of the synchronisms,
all lauschening, a time also confirmed seven sincuries later by the
quatren medical johnny, poor old MacAdoo MacDollett, with notary,147
whose presence was required by law of Devine Foresygth and decretal
of the Douge) who after the first compliments148 med darkist day light,
gave him then that vantage of a Blinkensope's cuddlebath at her proper
mitts — if she then, the then that matters, — but, seigneur! she could
never have forefelt, as she yet will fearfeel, when the lovenext breaks
out, such a coolcold douche as him, the totterer, the four-flights-the-
charmer, doubling back, in nowtime,149 bymby when saltwater he wush
him these iselands, O alors! to mount miss (the wooeds of Fogloot!)
under that chemise de fer and a vartryproof name, Multalusi (would it

145
      Muckross Abbey with the creepers taken off.
146
      Joke and Jilt will have their tilt.
147
      Old Mamalujorum and Rawrogerum.
148
      Why have these puerile blonds those large flexible ears?
149
      Pomeroy Roche of Portobello, or the Wreck of the Ragamuffin.
wash?) with a cheek white peaceful as, wen shall say, a single professed
claire's150 and his washawash tubatubtub and his diagonoser's lampblick,
to pure where they where hornest girls, to buy her in par jure, il you
plait, nuncandtunc and for simper, and other duel mavourneens in
plurible numbers from Arklow Vikloe to Louth super Luck, come
messes, come mams, and touch your spottprice (for 'twas he was the
born suborner, man) on behalf of an oldest ablished firma of
winebakers, Lagrima and Gemiti, later on, his craft ebbing, invoked by
the unirish title, Grindings of Nash,151 the One and Only, Unic bar
None, of Saint Yves by Landsend cornwer, man — ship me silver!, it
must have been, faw! a terrible mavrue mavone, to synamite up the old
Adam-he-used-to, such a finalley, and that's flat as Tut's fut, for
whowghowho? the poour girl, a lonely peggy, given the bird, so
inseuladed as Crampton's peartree, (she sall eurn bitter bed by thirt
sweet of her face!), and short wonder so many of the tomthick and tarry
members in all there subsequious ages of our timocracy tipped to
console with her at her mirrorable gracewindow'd hut152 till the ives of
Man, the O'Kneels and the O'Prayins and the O'Hyens of
Lochlaunstown and the O'Hollerins of Staneybatter, hollyboys, all,
burryripe             who'll      buy?,153    in     juwelietry        and        kickychoses        and

150
      No wonder Miss Dotsh took to veils and she descended from that obloquohy.
151
   The bookley with the rusin's hat is Patomkin but I'm blowed if I knowed who the slave is doing behind
the curtain.
152
      O hce! O hce!
153
      Six and seven the League.
madornaments and that's not the finis of it (would it were!) — but to
think of him foundling a nelliza the second,154 also cliptbuss (the best
was still there if the torso was gone) where he did and when he did,
retriever to the last155 — escapes my forgetness now was it dustcovered,
nom de Lieu! on lapse or street ondown, through, for or from a foe, by
with as on a friend, at the Rectory? Vicarage Road? Bishop's Folly?
Papesthorpe?, after picket fences, stonewalls, out and ins or oxers — for
merry a valsehood whisprit he to manny a lilying earling;156 and to try to
analyse that ambo's pair of braceleans akwart the rollyon trying to
amarm all157 of that miching micher's bearded but insensible virility and
its gaulish moustaches, Dammad and Groany, into her limited (tuff, tuff,
que tu es pitre!) lapse at the same slapse for towelling ends158 in their
dolightful Sexsex home, Somehow-at-Sea (O little oily head, sloper's
brow and prickled ears !) as though he, a notoriety, a foist edition, were
a wrigular writher neonovene babe!159 — well, diarmuee and granyou
and Vae Vinctis that is what lamoor that of gentle breast rathe is intaken
seems circling toward out yondest (it's life that's all chokered by that
batch of grim rushers) heaven help his hindmost and, mark mo, if the so

154
      It's all round me hat I'll wear a drooping dido.
155
  Have you ever thought of a hitching your stern and being ourdeaned, Mester Bootenfly, here's me and
Myrtle is twinkling to know.
156
      To show they caught preferment.
157
      See the freeman's cuticatura by Fennella.
158
      Just one big booty's pot.
159
      Charles de Simples had an infirmierity complexe before he died a natural death.
greatly displeaced diorems in the Saint Lubbock's Day number of that
most improving of roundshows, Spice and Westend Woman (utterly
exhausted before publication, indiapepper edition shortly), are for our
indices, it agins to pear like it, par my fay, and there is no use for your
pastripreaching for to cheesse it either or praying fresh fleshblood
claspers of young catholick throats on Huggin Green160 to take warning
by the prispast, why?, by cows                         man, in shirt, is how he is più la
gonna è mobile and                      they wonet do ut; and, an you could peep inside
the cerebralised saucepan of this eer illwinded goodfornobody, you
would see in his house of thoughtsam (was you, that is, decontaminated
enough to look discarnate) what a jetsam litterage of convolvuli of times
lost or strayed, of lands derelict and of tongues laggin too, longa
yamsayore, not only that but, search lighting, beached, bashed and
beaushelled à la Mer pharahead into faturity, your own convolvulis
pickninnig capman would real to jazztfancy the novo takin place of
what stale words whilom were woven with and fitted fairly featly for,
so; and equally so, the crame of the whole faustian fustian, whether your
launer's lightsome or your soulard's schwearmood, it is that, whenas the
swiftshut scareyss of our pupilteachertaut duplex will hark back to lark
to you symibellically that, though a day be as dense as a decade, no
mouth has the might to set a mearbound to the march of a landsmaul,161



160
      Where Buickly of the Glass and Bellows pumped the Rudge engineral.
161
      Matter of Brettaine and brut fierce.
in half a sylb, helf a solb, holf a salb onward162 the beast of boredom,
common sense, lurking gyrographically down inside his loose Eating
S.S. collar is gogoing of whisth to you sternly how — Plutonic loveliaks
twinnt Platonic yearlings — you must, how, in undivided reawlity draw
the line somewhawre) Coss? Cossist? Your parn! [WHY MY AS
LIKEWISE WHIS HIS.] You, you make what name? (and in truth, as a
poor soul is between shift and shift ere the death he has lived through
becomes the life he is to die into, he or he had albut — he was rickets as
to reasons but the balance of his minds was stables — lost himself or
himself some somnione sciupiones, soswhitchoverswetch had he or he
gazet, murphy come, murphy go, murphy plant, murphy grow, a
maryamyriameliamurphies, in the lazily eye of his lapis,




        Vieus Von DVbLIn, 'twas one of dozedeams a darkies ding in
dewood) [Uteralterance or the Interplay of Bones in the Womb.] the
Turnpike under the Great Ulm (with Mearingstone in Fore ground).163
Given now ann linch you take enn all. Allow me! And, heaving


162
      Bussmullah, cried Lord Wolsley, how me Aunty Mag'll row!
163
      Draumcondra's Dream country where the betterlies blow.
alljawbreakical expressions out of old Sare Isaac's164 universal of
specious aristmystic unsaid, A is for Anna like L is for liv. [The Vortex.
Spring of Sprung Verse. The Vertex.] Aha hahah, Ante Ann you're apt to
ape aunty annalive! Dawn gives rise. Lo, lo, lives love! Eve takes fall.
La, la, laugh leaves alass! Aiaiaiai, Antiann, we're last to the lost,
Loulou! Tis perfect. Now (lens your dappled yeye here, mine's
presbyoperian, shill and wall) we see the copyngink strayedline AL (in
Fig., the forest) from being continued, stops ait Lambday165: Modder
ilond there too. Allow me anchore! I bring down noth and carry awe.
Now, then, take this in! One of the most murmurable loose carollaries
ever Ellis threw his cookingclass. [Sarga, or the path of outgoing.] With
Olaf as centrum and Olaf's lambtail for his spokesman circumscript a
cyclone. Allow ter! Hoop! As round as the calf of an egg! O, dear me!
O, dear me now! Another grand discobely! After Makefearsome's
Ocean. You've actuary entducked one! Quok! Why, you haven't a
passer! Fantastic! Early' clever, surely doomed, to Swift's, alas, the
galehus! [Docetism and Didicism, Maya-Thaya. Tamas-Rajas-Sattvas.]
Match of a matchness, like your Bigdud dadder in the boudeville song,
Gorotsky Gollovar's Troubles, raucking his flavourite turvku in the
smukking precincts of lydias,166 with Mary Owens and Dolly Monks
seesidling to edge his cropulence and Blake-Roche, Kingston and

164
  O, Laughing Sally, are we going to be toadhauntered by that old Pantifox Sir Somebody Something,
Burtt, for the rest of our secret stripture?
165
      Ex jup pep off Carpenger Strate. The kids' and dolls' home. Makeacakeache.
166
      A vagrant need is a flagrant weed.
Dockrell auriscenting him from afurz, our papacocopotl,167 Abraham
Bradley King? (ting ting! ting ting!) By his magmasine fall. Lumps,
lavas and all.168 Bene! But, thunder and turf, it's not alover yet! One
recalls Byzantium. The mystery repeats itself todate as our callback
mother Gaudyanna, that was daughter to a tanner,169 used to sing, as I
think, now and then consinuously over her possetpot in her quer
homolocous humminbass hesterdie and istherdie forivor.170 Vanissas
Vanistatums! And for a night of thoughtsendyures and a day. [The
Vegetable Cell and its Private Properties.] As Great Shapesphere puns
it. In effect, I remumble, from the yules gone by, purr lil murrerof
myhind, so she used indeed. When she give me the Sundaclouths she
hung up for Tate and Comyng and snuffed out the ghost in the candle at
his old game of haunt the sleepper. Faithful departed. When I'm
dreaming back like that I begins to see we're only all telescopes. Or the
comeallyoum saunds. Like when I dromed I was in Dairy and was
wuckened up with thump in thudderdown. Rest in peace! But to
return171 What a wonderful memory you have too! Twonderful
morrowy! Straorbinaire! Bene! I bring town eau and curry nothung up
my sleeve. Now, springing quickenly from the mudland Loosh from
Luccan with Allhim as her Elder tetraturn a somersault. All's fair on all
167
      Grand for blowing off steam when you walk up in the morning.
168
      At the foot of Bagnabun Banbasday was lost on one.
169
      We're all found of our anmal matter.
170
  Sewing up the beillybursts in their buckskin shiorts for big Kapitayn Killykook and the Jukes of
Kelleiney.
171
      Say where! A timbrelfill of twinkletinkle.
fours, as my instructor unstrict me. Watch! And you'll have the whole
inkle. Allow, allow! Gyre O, gyre O, gyrotundo! Hop lala! As umpty
herum as you seat! O, dear me, that was very nesse! Very nace indeed!
And makes us a daintical pair of accomplasses! [The haves and the
havenots: a distinction.] You, allus for the kunst and me for omething
with a handel to it. Beve! Now, as will pressantly be felt, there's tew
tricklesome poinds where our twain of doubling bicirculars, mating
approxemetely in their suite poi and poi, dunloop into eath the ocher.
Lucihere! I fee where you mea. The doubleviewed seeds. Nun, lemmas
quatsch, vide pervoys akstiom, and I think as I'm suqeez in the limon,
stickme punctum, but for semenal rations I'd likelong, by Araxes, to
mack a capital Pee for Pride down there on the batom172 where Hoddum
and Heave, our monsterbilker, balked his bawd of parodies.
[Zweispaltung as Fundemaintalish of Wiederherstellung.] And let you
go, Airmienious, and mick your modest mock Pie out of Humbles up
your end. Where your apexojesus will be a point of order. With a geing
groan grunt and a croak click cluck.173 And my faceage kink and kurkle
trying to make keek peep.174 Are you right there, Michael, are you right?
Do you think you can hold on by sitting tight? Well, of course, it's awful
angelous. Still I don't feel it's so dangelous. Ay, I'm right here, Nickel,
and I'll write. Singing the top line why it suits me mikey fine. But,
yaghags hogwarts and arrahquinonthiance, it's the muddest thick that
172
      Parsee ffrench for the upholdsterer would be delightered.
173
      I'll pass out if the screw spliss his strut.
174
      Thargam then goeligum? If you sink I can, swimford. Suksumkale!
was ever heard dump since Eggsmather got smothered in the plap of the
pfan. Now, to compleat anglers, beloved bironthiarn and hushtokan
hishtakatsch, join alfa pea and pull loose by dotties and, to be more
sparematically logoical, eelpie and paleale by trunkles. Alow me align
while I encloud especious! The Nike done it. Like pah,175 I peh. Innate
little bondery. And as plane as a poke stiff.176 Now, aqua in buccat. I'll
make you to see figuratleavely the whome of your eternal geomater.
And if you flung her headdress on her from under her highlows you'd
wheeze whyse Salmonson set his seel on a hexengown.177 Hissss!,
Arrah, go on! [Destiny, Influence of Design upon.] Fin for fun! You've
spat your shower like a son of Sibernia but let's have at it! Subtend to
me now! Pisk! Outer serpumstances beiug ekewilled, we carefully, if
she pleats, lift by her seam hem and jabote at the spidsiest of her
trickkikant (like thousands done before since fillies calpered. Ocone!
Ocone!) the maidsapron of our A.L.P., fearfully! till its nether nadir is
vortically where (allow me aright to two cute winkles) its naval's napex
will have to beandbe. [Prometheus or the Promise of Provision.] You
must proach near mear for at is dark. Lob. And light your mech. Jeldy!
And this is what you'll say.178 Waaaaaa. Tch! Sluice! Pla! And their,
redneck, (for addn't we to gayatsee with Puhl the Punkah's bell?) mygh


175
      Hasitatense?
176
      The impudence of that in girl's things!
177
      The chape of Dońa Speranza of the Nacion.
178
      Ugol egal ogle. Mi vidim Mi.
and thy, the living spit of dead waters,179 fastness firm of Hurdlebury
Fenn, discinct and isoplural in its (your sow to the duble) sixuous parts,
flument, fluvey and fluteous, midden wedge of the stream's your muddy
old triagonal delta, fiho miho, plain for you now, appia lippia pluvaville,
(hop the hula, girls!) the no niggard spot of her safety vulve, first of all
usquiluteral threeingles, (and why wouldn't she sit cressloggedlike the
lass that lured a tailor?) the constant of fluxion, Mahamewetma, pride of
the province180 and when that tidled boare rutches up from the Afrantic,
allaph quaran's his bett und bier!181 [Ambages and Their Rôle.] Paa
lickam laa lickam, apl lpa! This it is an her. You see her it. Which it
whom you see it is her. And if you could goaneggbetter we'd soon see
some raffant scrumala riffa. Quicks herit fossyending. Quef! So post
that to your pape and smarket! And you can haul up that languil
pennant, mate. I've read your tunc's dimissage. For, let it be taken that
her littlenist is of no magnetude or again let it be granted that Doll the
laziest can be dissimulant with all respects from Doll the fiercst, thence

must any whatyoulike in the power of empthood be either greater THaN

or less THaN [Ecclasiastical and Celestial Hierarchies. The Ascending.
The Descending.] the unitate we have in one or hence shall the
vectorious readyeyes of evertwo circumflicksrent searclhers never film
in the elipsities of their gyribouts those fickers which are returnally

179
      It is, it is Sangannon's dream.
180
      And all meinkind.
181
      Whangpoos the paddle and whiss whee whoo.
reprodictive of themselves.182 Which is unpassible. Quarrellary. The
logos of somewome to that base anything, when most characteristically
mantissa minus, comes to nullum in the endth:183 orso, here is nowet
badder than the sin of Aha with his cosin Lil, verswaysed on
coverswised, and all that's consecants and cotangincies till Perperp stops
repippinghim since her redtangles are all abscissan for limitsing this
tendency of our Frivulteeny Sexuagesima184 to expense herselfs as
sphere as possible, [The peripatetic                        periphery. It's Allothesis.]
paradismic perimutter, in all directions on the bend of the unbridalled,
the infinisissimalls of her facets becoming manier and manier as the
calicolum of her umdescribables (one has thoughts of that eternal
Rome) shrinks from schurtiness to scherts.185 Scholium, there are trist
sigheds to everysing but ichs on the freed brings euchs to the feared.
Qued? Mother of us all! O, dear me, look at that now! I don't know is it
your spictre or my omination but I'm glad you dimentioned it! My
Lourde! My Lourde! If that aint just the beatenest lay I ever see! And a
superpbosition! Quoint a quincidence! O.K. Omnius Kollidimus.
[Canine Venus sublimated to Aulidic Aphrodite.] As Ollover Krumwall
sayed when he slepped ueber his grannyamother. Kangaroose feathers:
Who in the name of thunder'd ever belevin you were that bolt? But


182
      I enjoy as good as anyone.
183
      Neither a soul to be saved nor a body to be kicked.
184
      The boast of the town.
185
      Hen's bens, are we soddy we missiled her?
you're holy mooxed and gaping up the wrong palce186 as if you was
seeheeing the gheist that stays forenenst, you blessed simpletop
domefool! Where's your belested loiternan's lamp? You must lap
wandret down the bluishing refluction below. Her trunk's not her
brainbox. Hear where the bolgylines, Yseen here the puncture. So he
done it. Luck! See her good. [Exclusivism: the Ors, Sors and Fors,
which?] Well, well, well, well! O dee, O dee, that's very lovely! We like
Simperspreach Hammeltones to fellow Selvertunes O'Haggans.187 When
he rolls over his ars and shows the hise of his heels. Vely lovely
entilely! Like a yangsheepslang with the tsifengtse. So analytical
plausible! And be the powers of Moll Kelly, neighbour topsowyer, it
will be a lozenge to me all my lauffe.188 More better twofeller we been
speak copperads. Ever thought about Guinness's? And the regrettable
Parson Rome's advice? Want to join the police.189 You know, you were
always one of the bright ones, since a foot made you an unmentionable,
fakes! You know, you're the divver's own smart gossoon, aequal to
yoursell and wanigel to anglyother, so you are, hoax! You know, you'll
be dampned, so you will, one of these invernal days but you will be,
carrotty!190


186
      I call that a scumhead.
187
      Pure chingchong idiotism with any way words all in one soluble. Gee each owe tea eye smells fish. That's
U.
188
      The Doodles family, , , , ,       , , . Hoodle doodle, fam.?
189
      Picking on Nickagain, Pikey Mikey?
190
      Early morning, sir Dav Stephens, said the First Gentleman in youreups.
        [SICK US A SOCK WITH SOME SEDIMENT IN IT FOR THE
SAKE            OF       OUR         DARNING               WIVES.]         [Primanouriture   and
Ultimogeniture.] Wherapool, gayet that when he stop look time he stop
long ground who here hurry he would have ever the lothst word, with a
sweet me ah err eye ear marie to reat from the jacob's191 and a shypull
for toothsake of his armjaws at the slidepage of de Vere Foster, would
and could candykissing P. Kevin to fress up the rinnerung and to ate by
hart (leo I read, such a spanish, escribibis, all your mycoscoups) wont to
nibbleh ravenostonnoriously ihs mum to me in bewonderment of his
chipper chuthor for, while that Other by the halp of his creactive mind
offered to deleberate the mass from the booty of fight our Same with the
holp of the bounty of food sought to delubberate the mess from his
corructive mund, with his muffetee cuffes ownconsciously grafficking
with his sinister cyclopes after trigamies and spirals' wobbles pursuiting
their rovinghamilton selves and godolphing in fairlove to see around the
waste of noland's browne jesus192 (thur him no quartos!) till that on him
poorin sweat the juggaleer's veins [No Sturm. No Drang.] (quench his
quill!) in his napier scrag stud out bursthright tam quam taughtropes.
[Illustration.] (Spry him! call a blood lekar! Where's Dr Brassenaarse?)
Es war itwas in his priesterrite. O He Must Suffer! From this
misbelieving feacemaker to his noncredible fancyflame.193 Ask for
bosthoon, late for Mass, pray for blaablaablack sheep. (Sure you could
191
      Bag bag blockcheap, have you any will?
192
      What a lubberly whide elephant for the men-in-the-straits!
193
      And she had to seek a pond's apeace to salve her suiterkins. Sued!
wright anny pippap passage, Eye bet, as foyne as that moultylousy
Erewhig, yerself, mick! Nock the muddy nickers!194 Christ's Church
varses Bellial!) Dear and he went on to scripple gentlemine born,
milady bread, [Ascription of the Active.] he would pen for her, he would
pine for her,195 how he would patpun fun for all196 with his frolicky
frowner so and his glumsome grinner otherso. And how are you,
waggy?197 My animal his sorrafool! And trieste, ah trieste ate I my liver!
Se non è vero son trovatore. O jerry! He was soso, harriot all! He was
sadfellow, steifel! He was mistermysterion. Like a purate out of
pensionee with a gouvernament job. All moanday, tearsday, wailsday,
thumpsday, frightday, shatterday till the fear of the Law. Look at this
twitches! He was quisquis, floored on his plankraft of shittim wood.
Look at him! Sink deep or touch not the Cartesian spring! [Proscription
of the Passive.] Want more ashes, griper? How diesmal he was lying
low on his rawside laying siege to goblin castle. And, bezouts that, how
hyenesmeal he was laying him long on his laughside lying sack to
croakpartridge. (Be thou wars Rolaf's intestions, quoths the Bhagavat
biskop Leech) Ann opes tipoo soon ear! If you could me lendtill my
pascol's kondyl, sahib, and the price of a plate of poultice. Punked. With
best apolojigs and merrymoney thanks to self for all the clerricals and
again begs guerdon for bistrispissing on your bunificence. [Ensouling
194
      Excuse theyre christianbrothers irish?
195
      When she tripped against the briery bush he profused her allover with curtsey flowers.
196
      A nastilow disigraible game.
197
      Dear old Erosmas. Very glad you are going to Penmark. Write to the corner. Grunny Grant.
Female Sustains Agonising Overman.] Well wiggywiggywagtail, and
how are you, yaggy? With a capital Tea for Thirst. From here Buvard to
dear Picuchet. Blott.

        [WHEN THE ANSWERER IS A LEMAN.] Now, (peel your eyes,
my gins, and brush your saton hat, me elementator joyclid, son of a
Butt! She's mine, Jow low jure,198 be Skibbering's eagles, sweet tart of
Whiteknees Archway) watch him, having caught at the bifurking
calamum in his bolsillos, the onelike underworp he had ever funnet
without difficultads, the aboleshqvick, signing away in happinext
complete, (Exquisite Game of inspiration! [Sesama to the Rescues. The
Key Signature.] I always adored your hand. So could I too and without
the scrope of a pen. Ohr for oral, key for crib, olchedolche and a lunge
ad lib. Can you write us a last line? From SmithJones-Orbison?)
intrieatedly in years, jirryalimpaloop. And i Romain, hup u bn gd grl.199
Unds alws my thts. To fallthere at bare feet hurryaswormarose. Two
dies of one rafflement. Eche bennyache. Outstamp and distribute him at
the expanse of his society. To be continued. Anon.

        [ALL SQUARE AND ACCORDING TO COCKER.] And ook,
ook, ook, fanky! All the charictures200 in the drame! This is how San
holypolypools. And this, pardonsky! is the way Romeopullupalleaps.201

198
      I loved to see the Macbeths Jerseys knacking spots of the Plumpduffs Pants.
199
      Lifp year fends you all and moe, fouvenirs foft as fummer fnow, fweet willings and forget-uf-knots.
200
      Gag his tubes yourself.
201
      He, angel that I thought him, and he not aebel to speel eelyotripes., Mr Tellibly Divilcult!
Pose the pen, man, way me does. Way ole missa vellatooth fust show
me how. Fourth power to her illpogue! Bould strokes for your life! Tip!
[Force Centres of the Fire Serpentine: heart, throat, navel, spleen,
sacral, fontanella, intertemporal eye.] This is Steal, this is Barke, this is
Starn, this is Swhipt, this is Wiles, this is Pshaw, this is
Doubbllinnbbayyates.202 This is brave Danny weeping his spache for the
popers. This is cool Connolly wiping his hearth with brave Danny. And
this, regard! how Chawleses Skewered parparaparnelligoes between
brave Danny boy and the Connolly. [Conception of the Compromise
and Finding of a Formula.] Upanishadem! Top. Spoken hath L'arty
Magory. Eregob ragh. Prouf!203

        [TROTHBLOWERS. FIG AND THISTLE PLOT A PIG AND
WHISTLE.] And Kev was wreathed with his pother. But, (that Jacoby
feeling again for forebitten fruit and, my Georgeous, Kevvy too he just
loves his puppadums, I judge!) after all his autocratic writings of
paraboles of famellicurbs and meddlied muddlingisms, thee faroots hof
cullchaw end ate citrawn woodint wun able rep of the triperforator
[Ideal Present Alone Produces Real Future.] awlrite blast through his
pergaman hit him where he lived and do for the blessted selfchuruls,
what I think, smarter like it done for a manny another unpious of the
hairydary quare quandary firstings till at length, you one bladdy
bragger, by mercystroke he measured his earth anyway? could not but

202
      When the dander rattles how the peacocks prance!
203
      The Brownes de Browne - Browne of Castlehacknolan.
recken in his adder's badder cadder way our frankson who, to be plain,
he fight him all time twofeller longa kill dead finish bloody face blong
you, was misocain. Wince wan's won! Rip!204 And his countinghands
rose.

        [WITH EBONISER.] Formalisa. Loves deathhow simple!

        [IN PIX.] Slutningsbane.205

        [EUCHRE RISK, MERCI BUCKUP, AND MIND WHO YOU'RE
PUCKING, FLEBBY.] [Service superseding self.] Thanks eversore
much, Pointcarried! I can't say if it's the weight you strike me to the
quick or that red mass I was looking at but at the present momentum,
potential as I am, I'm seeing rayingbogeys rings round me. Honours to
you and may you be commended for our exhibitiveness! I'd love to take
you for a bugaboo ride and play funfer all if you'd only sit and be the
ballasted bottle in the porker barrel. You will deserve a rolypoly as long
as from here to tomorrow. And to hell with them driftbombs and bottom
trailers! If my maily was bag enough I'd send you a toxis. By Saxon
Chromaticus, you done that lovely for me! Didn't he now, Nubilina?
Tiny Mite, she studiert whas? With her listeningin coiffure, her dream
of Endsland's daylast and the glorifires of being presainted maid to
majesty.206 And less is the pity for she isn't the lollypops she easily
might be if she had for a sample Virginia's air of achievement. That

204
      A byebye bingbang boys! See you Nutcracker Sunday!
205
      Chinchin Childaman! Chapchopchap!
206
      Wipe your glosses with what you know.
might keep her from throwing delph.207 [Catastrophe and Anabasis.] As
I was saying, while retorting thanks, you make me a reborn of the cards.
[The rotary processus and its reestablishment of reciprocities.] We're
offals boys ambows.208 For I've flicked up all the crambs as they
crumbed from your table um, singing glory allaloserem, cog it out, here
goes a sum. So read we in must book. It tells. He prophets most who
bilks the best.

        [COME           SI     COMPITA              CUNCTITITITILATIO?                     CONKERY
CUNK,                THIGH-THIGHT-TICKELLY-THIGH,                                        LIGGERILAG,
TITTERITOT, LEG IN A TEE, LUG IN A LAW, TWO AT A TIE,
THREE ON A THRICKY TILL OHIO OHIO IOIOMISS.] And that
salubrated sickenagiaour of yaours have teaspilled all my hazeydency.
Forge away, Sunny Sim! Sheepshopp. Bleating Goad, it is the least of
things, Eyeinstye! Imagine it, my deep dartry dullard! It is hours giving,
not more. I'm only out for celebridging over the guilt of the gap in your
hiscitendency. You are a hundred thousand times welcome, old
wortsampler, hellbeit you're just about as culpable as my woolfell
merger would be. [The Twofold Truth and the Conjunctive Appetites of
Oppositional Orexes.] In effect I could engage in an energument over
you till you were republicly royally toobally prussic blue in the shirt
after.209 Trionfante di bestia! And if you're not your bloater's kipper may
I never curse again on that pint I took of Jamesons. Old Keane now,
207
      If I'd more in the cups that peeves thee you could cracksmith your rows tureens.
208
      Alls Sings and Alls Howls.
209
      From three shellings. A bluedye sacrifice.
you're rod, hook and sinker, old jubalee Keane! Biddy's hair. Biddy's
hair, mine lubber. Where is that Quin but he sknows it knot but what
you that are my popular endphthisis were born with a solver arm up
your sleep. [Trishagion.] Thou in shanty! Thou in scanty shanty!! Thou
in slanty scanty shanty!!! Bide in your hush! Bide in your hush, do! The
law does not aloud you to shout. I plant my penstock in your postern,
chinarpot. Ave! And let it be to all remembrance. Vale. Ovocation of
maiding waters.210 For auld lang salvy steyne. I defend you to champ
my scullion's praises. To book alone belongs the lobe. Foremaster's
meed211 will mark tomorrow, when we are making pilscrummage to
whaboggeryin with staff, scarf and blessed wallet and our aureoles
round our neckkandcropfs where as and when Heavysciusgardaddy,
parent who offers sweetmeats, will gift uns his Noblett's surprize.
[Abnegation is Adaptation.] With this laudable purpose in loud ability
let us be singulfied. Betwixt me and thee hung cong. Item, mizpah ends.

        [ENTER THE COP AND HOW. SECURES GUBERNANT
URBIS TERROREM.] But while the dial are they doodling dawdling
over the mugs and the grubs? Oikey, Impostolopulos?212 Steady steady
steady steady steady studiavimus. Many many many many many
manducabimus.213 We've had our day at triv and quad and writ our bit as
intermidgets. Art, literature, politics, economy, chemistry, humanity,
210
      Not Kilty. But the manajar was. He! He! Ho! Ho! Ho!
211
      Giglamps, Soapy Geyser, The Smell and Gory Mac Gusty.
212
      The divvy wants that babbling brook. Dear Auntie Emma Emma Eates.
213
      Strike the day off, the nightcap's on nigh. Goney, goney gone!
&c. [Cato.] Duty, the daughter of discipline, [Nero.] the Great Fire at
the South City Markets, [Saul] Belief in Giants and the Banshee,
[Aristotle] A Place for Everything and Everything in its Place, [Julius
Caesar.] Is the Pen Mightier than the Sword? [Pericles.] A Successful
Career in the Civil Service,214 [Ovid.] The Voice of Nature in the
Forest,215 [Adam, Eve.] Your Favorite Hero or Heroine, [Domitian.] On
the Benefits of Recreation,216 [Edipus.] If Standing Stones Could Speak,
[Socrates.] Devotion to the Feast of the Indulgence of Portiuncula,
[Ajax.] The Dublin Metropolitan Police Sports at Ballsbridge, [Homer.]
Describe in Homely Anglian Monosyllables the Wreck of the
Hesperus,217 [Marcus Aurelius.] What Morals, if any, can be drawn
from Diarmuid and Grania?218 [Alcibiades.] Do you Approve of our
Existing Parliamentary System? [Lucretius.] The Uses and Abuses of
Insects, [Noah.] A Visit to Guinness' Brewery, [Plato.] Clubs, [Horace.]
Advantages of the Penny Post, [Isaac.] When is a Pun not a Pun?
[Tiresias.] Is the Co-Education of Animus and Anima Wholly
Desirable?219 [Marius.] What Happened at Clontarf? [Diogenes.] Since
our Brother Johnathan Signed the Pledge or [Procne, Philomela.] the



214
      R.C., disengaged, good character, would help, no salary.
215
      Where Lily is a Lady found the nettle rash.
216
      Bubabipibambuli, I can do as I like with what's me own. Nyamnyam.
217
      Able seaman's caution.
218
      Rarely equal and distinct in all things.
219
      Jests and the Beastalk with a little rude hiding rod.
Meditations of Two Young Spinsters,220 [Abraham.] Why we all Love
our Little Lord Mayor, [Nestor.] Hengler's Circus Entertainment,
[Cincinnatus.] On Thrift,221 [Leonidas.] The Kettle-Griffith-Moynihan
Scheme for a New Electricity Supply, [Jacob.] Travelling in the Olden
Times,222 [Theocritus.] American Lake Poetry, [Joseph.] the Strangest
Dream that was ever Halfdreamt.223 [Fabius.] Circumspection,
[Samson.] Our Allies the Hills, [Cain.] Are Parnellites Just towards
Henry Tudor? [Esop.] Tell a Friend in a Chatty Letter the Fable of the
Grasshopper and the Ant,224 [Prometheus.] Santa Claus, [Lot.] The
Shame of Slumdom, [Pompeius Magnus, Miltiades Strategos.] The
Roman Pontiffs and the Orthodox Churches,225 [Solon.] The Thirty
Hour Week, [Castor, Pollux.] Compare the Fistic Styles of Jimmy
Wilde and Jack Sharkey, [Dionysius.] How to Understand the Deaf,
[Sappho.] Should Ladies learn Music or Mathematics? [Moses.] Glory
be to Saint Patrick! [Job.] What is to be found in a Dustheap, [Catilina.]
The Value of Circumstantial Evidence, [Cadmus.] Should Spelling?
[Ezekiel.]            Outcasts            in   India,     [Solomon.]           Collecting        Pewter,
[Themistocles.] Eu,226 [Vitellius.] Proper and Regular Diet Necessity

220
      Wherry like the whaled prophet in a spookeerie.
221
      What sins is pim money sans Paris!
222
      I've lost the place, where was I?
223
      Something happened that time I was asleep, torn letters or was there snow?
224
      Mich for his pain, Nick in his past.
225
  He has toglieresti in brodo all over his agrammatical parts of face and as for that hippofoxphiz, unlucky
number, late for the christening!
226
      Eh, Monsieur? Oů Monsieur? Eu, Monsieur? Nenni No, Monsieur!
For,227 [Darius.] If You Do It Do It Now. [Xenophon.] Delays are
Dangerous. Vitavite! Gobble Anne: tea's set, see's eneugh! Mox soonly
will be in a split second per the chancellory of his exticker.

        [MAWMAW, LUK, YOUR BEEFTAY'S FIZZIN OVER!]

         [Pantocracy.]                             Aun

         [Bimutualism.]                            Do

         [Interchangeability.]                     Tri

         [Naturality.]                             Car

         [Superfetation.]                          Cush228

         [Stabimobilism.]                          Shay

         [Periodicity.]                            Shockt

         [Consummation.]                           Ockt

         [Interpenetrativeness.]                   Ni

         [Predicament.]                            Geg229

        [KAKAOPOETICS LIPPUDENIES OF THE UNGUMPTIOUS.]


227
      Ere we hit the hay, brothers, let's have that response to prayer!




                228
                      Kish is for anticheirst, and the free of my hand to him!




                229
                      And gags for skool, and crossbuns and whopes he'll enjoyimsolff over our drawings on the
line!
    [Balance of the factual by the theoric Boox and Coox,
Amallagamated.] Their feed begins.



   NIGHTLETTER



   With our best youlldied greedings to Pep and Memmy and the old
folkers below and beyant, wishing them all very merry Incarnations in
this land of the livvey and plenty of preprosperousness through their
coming new yonks

   from

   jake, jack and little sousoucie

   (the babes that mean too)
    Chapter 3




    It may not or maybe a no concern of the Guinnesses but.

    That the fright of his light in tribalbalbutience hides aback in the
doom of the balk of the deaf but that the height of his life from a bride's
eye stammpunct is when a man that means a mountain barring his
distance wades a lymph that plays the lazy winning she likes yet that
pride that bogs the party begs the glory of a wake while the scheme is
like your rumba round me garden, allatheses, with perhelps the prop of a
prompt to them, was now or never in Etheria Deserta, as in Grander
Suburbia, with Finnfannfawners, ruric or cospolite, for much or moment
indispute.
    Whyfor had they, it is Hiberio-Miletians and Argloe-Noremen,
donated him, birth of an otion that was breeder to sweatoslaves, as
mysterbolder, forced in their waste, and as for Ibdullin what of Himana,
that their tolvtubular high fidelity daildialler, as modern as tomorrow
afternoon and in appearance up to the minute (hearing that anybody in
that ruad duchy of Wollinstown schemed to halve the wrong type of
date) equipped with supershielded umbrella antennas for distance
getting and connected by the magnetic links of a Bellini-Tosti coupling
system with a vitaltone speaker, capable of capturing skybuddies,
harbour craft emittences, key clickings, vaticum cleaners, due to woman
formed mobile or man made static and bawling the whowle hamshack
and wobble down in an eliminium sounds pound so as to serve him up a
melegoturny marygoraumd, eclectrically filtered for allirish earths and
ohmes. This harmonic condenser enginium (the Mole) they caused to be
worked from a magazine battery (called the Mimmim Bimbim patent
number 1132, Thorpetersen and Synds, Jomsborg, Selverbergen) which
was tuned up by twintriodic singulvalvulous pipelines (lackslipping
along as if their liffing deepunded on it) with a howdrocephalous
enlargement, a gain control of circumcentric megacycles ranging from
the antidulibnium onto the serostaatarean. They finally caused, or most
leastways brung it about somehows (that) the pip of the lin (to)
pinnatrate inthro an auricular forfickle (known as the Vakingfar sleeper,
monofractured by Piaras UaRhuamhaighaudhlug, tympan founder,
Eustache Straight, Bauliaughacleeagh) a meatous conch culpable of
cunduncing Naul and Santry and the forty routs of Corthy with the
concertiums of the Brythyc Symmonds Guild, the Ropemakers Reunion,
the Variagated Peddlars Barringoy Bnibrthirhd, the Askold Olegsonder
Crowds of the O'Keef-Rosses ant Rhosso-Keevers of Zastwoking, the
Ligue of Yahooth O.S.V. so as to lall the bygone dozed they arborised
around, up his corpular fruent and down his reuctionary buckling,
hummer, enville and cstorrap (the man of Iren, thore's Curlymane for
you!), lill the lubberendth of his otological life.

    House of call is all their evenbreads though its cartomance
hallucinate like an erection in the night the mummery of whose deed, a
lur of Nur, immerges a mirage in a merror, for it is where by
muzzinmessed for one watthour, bilaws below, till time jings pleas, that
host of a bottlefilled, the bulkily hulkwight, hunter's pink of face, an
orel orioled, is in on a bout to be unbulging an o'connell's, the true one,
all seethic, a luckybock, pledge of the stoup, whilom his canterberry
bellseyes wink wickeding indtil the teller, oyne of an oustman in skull
of skand. Yet is it, this ale of man, for him, our hubuljoynted, just a tug
and a fistful as for Culsen, the Patagoreyan, chieftain of chokanchuckers
and his moyety joyant, under the foamer dispensation when he
pullupped the turfeycork by the greats of gobble out of Lougk Neagk.
When, pressures be to our hoary frother, the pop gave his sullen
bulletaction and, bilge, sled a movement of catharic emulsipotion down
the sloppery slide of a slaunty to tilted lift-ye-landsmen. Allamin.
Which in the ambit of its orbit heaved a sink her sailer alongside of a
drink her drainer from the basses brothers, those two theygottheres.
    It was long after once there was a lealand in the luffing ore it was
less after lives thor a toyler in the tawn at all ohr it was note before he
drew out the moddle of Kersse by jerkin his dressing but and or it was
not before athwartships he buttonhaled the Norweeger's capstan.

    So he sought with the lobestir claw of his propencil the clue of the
wickser in his ear. O, lord of the barrels, comer forth from Anow (I have
not mislaid the key of Efas-Taem), O, Ana, bright lady, comer forth
from Thenanow (I have not left temptation in the path of the sweeper of
the threshold), O!

    But first, strongbowth, they would deal death to a drinking. Link of
a leadder, dubble in it, slake your thirdst thoughts awake with it. Our
svalves are svalves aroon! We rescue thee, O Baass, from the damp
earth and honour thee. O Connibell, with mouth burial! So was done,
neat and trig. Up draught and whet them!

    Then sagd he to the ship's husband. And in his translatentic
norjankeltian. Hwere can a ketch or hook alive a suit and sowterkins?
Soot! sayd the ship's husband, knowing the language, here is tayleren.
Ashe and Whitehead, closechop, successor to. Ahorror, he sayd, canting
around to that beddest his friend, the tayler, for finixed coulpure, chunk
pulley muchy chink topside numpa one sellafella, fake an capstan make
and shoot! Manning to sayle of clothse for his lady her master whose to
be precised of a peer of trouders under the pattern of a cassack. Let me
prove, I pray thee, but this once, sazd Mengarments, saving the
mouthbrand from his firepool. He spit in his faist (beggin): he tape the
raw baste (paddin): he planked his pledge (as dib is a dab): and he tog
his fringe sleeve (buthock lad, fur whale). Alloy for allay and this toolth
for that soolth. Lick it and like it. A barter, a parter. And plenty good
enough, neighbour Norreys, every bit and grain. And the ship's husband
brokecurst after him to hail the lugger. Stolp, tief, stolp, come bag to
Moy Eireann! And the Norweeger's capstan swaradeed, some blowfish
out of schooling: All lykkehud! Below taiyor he ikan heavin sets. But
they broken waters and they made whole waters at they surfered bark to
the lots of his vauce. And aweigh he yankered on the Norgean run so
that seven sailend sonnenrounders was he breastbare to the brinabath,
where bottoms out has fatthoms full, fram Franz José Land til Cabo
Thormendoso, evenstarde and risingsoon. Up the Rivor Tanneiry and
down the Golfe Desombres. Farety days and fearty nights. Enjoy
yourself, O maremen! And the tides made, veer and haul, and the times
marred, rear and fall, and, holey bucket, dinned he raign!

    — Hump! Hump! bassed the broaders-in-laugh with a quick
piddysnip that wee halfbit a second.

    — I will do that, sazd Kersse, mainingstaying the rigout for her
wife's lairdship. Nett sew? they hunched back at the earpicker.

    But old sporty, as endth lord, in ryehouse reigner, he nought feared
crimp or cramp of shore sharks, plotsome to getsome. It was whol niet
godthaab of errol Loritz off his Cape of Good Howthe and his
trippertrice loretta lady, a maomette to his monetone, with twy twy
twinky her stone hairpins, only not, if not, a queen of Prancess their
telling tabled who was for his seeming a casket through the heavenly,
nay, heart of the sweet (had he hows would he keep her as niece as a
fiddle!) but in the mealtub it was wohl yeas sputsbargain what, rarer of
recent, an occasional conformity, he, with Muggleton Muckers,
alwagers allalong most certainly allowed, as pilerinnager's grace to
petitionists of right, of the three blend cupstoomerries with their
customed spirits, the Gill gob, the Burklley bump, the Wallisey
wanderlook, having their ceilidhe gailydhe in his shaunty irish. Group
drinkards maaks grope thinkards or how reads rotary, jewr of a
chrestend, respecting the otherdogs churchees, so long plubs will be
plebs but plabs by low frequency amplification may later agree to have
another. For the people of the shed are the sure ads of all quorum.
Lorimers and leathersellers, skinners and salters, pewterers and
paperstainers,   parishclerks,   fletcherbowyers,    girdlers,   mercers,
cordwainers and first, and not last, the weavers. Our library he is hoping
to ye public.

    Innholder, upholder.

    — Sets on sayfohrt! Go to it, agitator! they bassabosuned over the
flowre of their hoose. Godeown moseys and skeep thy beeble bee!

    — I will do that, acordial, by mine hand, sazd Kersse, piece Cod,
and in the flap of a jacket, ructified after his nap of a blankit their
o'cousin, as sober as the ship's husband he was one my godfather when
he told me saw whileupon I am now well and jurily sagasfide after the
boonamorse the widower, according to rider, following pnomoneya, he
is consistently blown to Adams. So help me boyg who keeps the book!

    Whereofter, behest his suzerain law the Thing and the pilsener had
the baar, Recknar Jarl, (they called him Roguenor, Irl call him) still
passing the change-a-pennies, pengeypigses, a several sort of coyne in
livery, pushed their whisper in his hairing, (seemed, a some shipshep's
sottovoxed stalement, a dearagadye, to hasvey anyone doing duty for
duff point of dorkland compors) the same to the good ind ast velut
discharge after which he had exemptied more than orphan for the ballast
of his nurtural life. And threw a cast. A few pigses and hare you are and
no chicking, tribune's tribute, if you guess mimic miening. Meanly in
his lewdbrogue take your tyon coppels token, with this good sixtric
from-mine runbag of juwels. Nummers that is summus that is toptip that
is bottombay that is Twomeys that is Digges that is Heres. In the
frameshape of hard mettles. For we all would fain make glories. It is
minely well mint.

    Thus as count the costs of liquid courage, a bullyon gauger, stowed
stivers pengapung in bulk in hold (fight great finnence! brayvoh, little
bratton!) keen his kenning, the queriest of the crew, with that fellow
fearing for his own misshapes, should he be himpself namesakely a
foully fallen dissentant from the peripulator, sued towerds Meade-Reid
and Lynn-Duff, rubbing the hodden son of a pookal, leaden be light,
lather be dry and it be drownd on all the ealsth beside, how the camel
and where the deiffel or when the finicking or why the funicking, who
caused the scaffolding to be first removed you give orders, babeling,
were their reidey meade answer when on the cutey (the corespondent) in
conflict of evidence drew a kick at witness but (missed) and for whom
in the dyfflun's kiddy removed the planks they were wanted, boob.

    Bump!

    Bothallchoractorschumminaroundgansumuminarumdrumstrumtrumi
nahumptadumpwaultopoofoolooderamaunsturnup!

    — Did do a dive, aped one.

    — Propellopalombarouter, based two.

    — Rutsch is for rutterman ramping his roe, seed three. Where the
muddies scrimm ball. Bimbim bimbim. And the maidies scream all.
Himhim himhim.

    And forthemore let legend go lore of it that mortar scene so
cwympty dwympty what a dustydust it razed arboriginally but, luck's
leap to the lad at the top of the ladder, so sartor's risorted why the sinner
the badder! Ho ho ho hoch! La la la lach! Hillary rillarry gibbous grist
to our millery! A pushpull, qq: quiescence, pp: with extravent intervulve
coupling. The savest lauf in the world. Paradoxmutose caring, but here
in a present booth of Ballaclay, Barthalamou, where their dutchuncler
mynhosts and serves them dram well right for a boors' interior
(homereek van hohmryk) that salve that selver is to screen its auntey
and has ringround as worldwise eve her sins (pip, pip, pip) willpip
futurepip feature apip footloose pastcast with spareshins and flash
substittles of noirse-made-earsy from a nephew mind the narrator but
give the devil his so long as those sohns of a blitzh call the tuone tuone
and thonder alout makes the thurd. Let there be. Due.

    — That's all murtagh purtagh but whad ababs his dopter? sissed
they who were onetime ungkerls themselves, (when the youthel of his
yorn shook the bouchal in his bed) twilled alongside in wiping the rice
assatiated with their wetting. The lappel of his size? His ros in sola
velnere and he sicckumed of homnis terrars. She wends to scoulas in her
slalpers. There were no peanats in her famalgia so no wumble she
tumbled for his famas roalls davors. Don't him forget! A butcheler
artsed out of Cullege Trainity. Diddled he daddle a drop of the cradler
on delight mebold laddy was stetched? Knit wear? And they addled, (or
ere the cry of their tongues would be uptied dead) Shufflebotham
asidled, plus his ducks fore his drills, an inlay of a liddle more lining
maught be licensed all at ones, be these same tokens, forgiving a brass
rap, sneither a whole length nor a short shift so full as all were
concerned.

    Burniface, shiply efter, shoply after, at an angle of lag, let flow,
brabble brabble and brabble, and so hostily, heavyside breathing, came
up with them and, check me joule, shot the three tailors, butting back to
Moyle herring, bump as beam and buttend, roller and reiter, after the
diluv's own deluge, the seasant samped as skibber breezed in, tripping,
dripping, threw the sheets in the wind, the tights of his trunks at tickle to
tackle and his rubmelucky truss rehorsing the pouffed skirts of his
overhawl. He'd left his stickup in his hand to show them none ill feeling.
Whatthough for all appentices it had a mushroom on it. While he faced
them front to back, Then paraseuls round, quite taken atack, sclaiming,
Howe cools Eavybrolly!

    — Good marrams, sagd he, freshwatties and boasterdes all, as he
put into bierhiven, nogeysokey first, cabootle segund, jilling to
windwards, as he made straks for that oerasound the snarsty weg for
Publin, so was his horenpipe lug in the lee off their mouths organs, with
his tilt too taut for his tammy all a slaunter and his wigger on a wagger
with its tag tucked. Up. With a good eastering and a good westering.
And he asked from him how the hitch did do this my fand sulkers that
mone met the Kidballacks which he suttonly remembered also where
the hatch was he endnew strandweys he's that fond sutchenson, a
penincular fraimd of mind, fordeed he was langseling to talka holt of
hems, clown toff, tye hug fliorten. Cablen: Clifftop. Shelvling tobay
oppelong tomeadow. Ware cobbles. Posh.

    — Skibbereen has common inn, by pounautique, with pokeway
paw, and sadder raven evermore, telled shinshanks lauwering frankish
for his kicker who, through the medium of gallic

    — Pukkelsen, tilltold. That with some our prowed invisors how
their ulstravoliance led them infroraids, striking down and landing alow,
against our aerian insulation resistance, two boards that beached ast one,
widness thane and tysk and hanry. Prepatrickularly all, they summed.
Kish met. Bound to. And for landlord, noting, nodding, a coast to moor
was cause to mear. Besides proof plenty, over proof While they either
took a heft. Or the other swore his eric. Heaved two, spluiced the
menbrace. Heirs at you, Brewinbaroon! Weth a whistle for methanks.

    — Good marrams and good merrymills, sayd good mothers gossip,
bobbing his bowing both ways with the bents and skerries, when they
were all in the old walled of Kinkincaraborg (and that they did overlive
the hot air of Montybunkum upon the coal blasts of Mitropolitos let
there meeds be the hourihorn), hiberniating after seven oak ages,
fearsome where they were he had gone dump in the doomering this tide
where the peixies would pickle him down to the button of his seat and
his sess old soss Erinly into the boelgein with the help of Divy and
Jorum's locquor and shut the door after him to make a rarely fine Ran's
cattle of fish. Morya Mortimor! Allapalla overus! Howoft had the
ballshee tried! And they laying low for his home gang in that eeriebleak
mead, with fireball feast and turkeys tumult and paupers patch to
provide his bum end. The foe things your niggerhead needs to be fitten
for the Big Water. He made the sign of the hammer. God's drought, he
sayd, after a few daze, thinking of all those bliakings, how leif pauses!
Here you are back on your hawkins, from Blasil the Brast to our
povotogesus portocall, the furt on the turn of the hurdies, slave to trade,
vassal of spices and a dragon-the-market, and be turbot, lurch a stripe,
as were you soused methought out of the mackerel. Eldsfells! sayd he.
A kumpavin on iceslant! Here's open handlegs for one old faulker from
the hame folk here in you's booth! So sell me gundy, sagd the now
waging cappon, with a warry posthumour's expletion, shoots ogos
shootsle him or where's that slob? A bit bite of keesens, he sagd, til
Dennis, for this jantar (and let the dobblins roast perus,) or a stinger, he
sagd, t. d., on a doroughbread kennedy's for Patriki San Saki on svo fro
or my old relogion's out of tiempor and when I'm soured to the tipple
you can sink me lead, he sagd, and, if I get can, sagd he, a pusspull of
tomtartarum. Thirst because homing hand give. Allkey dallkey, sayd the
shop's housebound, for he was as deep as the north star (and could tolk
sealer's solder into tankar's tolder) as might have sayd every man to his
beast, and a treat for the trading scow, my cater million falls to you and
crop feed a stall! Afram. And he got and gave the ekspedient for
Hombreyhambrey wilcomer what's the good word. He made the sign on
the feaster. Cloth be laid! And a disk of osturs for the swanker!
Allahballah! He was the carelessest man I ever see but he sure had the
most sand. One fishball with fixings! For a dan of a ven of a fin of a son
of a gun of a gombolier. Ekspedient, sayd he, sonnur mine, Shackleton
Sulten! Opvarts and at ham, or this ogry Osler will oxmaul us all, sayd
he, like one familiar to the house, while Waldemar was heeling it and
Maldemaer was toeing it, soe syg he was walking from the bowl at his
food and the meer crank he was waiting for the tow of his turn. Till they
plied him behaste on the fare. Say wehrn!

    — Nohow did he kersse or hoot alike the suit and solder skins,
minded first breachesmaker with considerable way on and
    — Humpsea dumpsea, the munchantman, secondsnipped cutter the
curter.

    — A ninth for a ninth. Take my worth from it. And no mistaenk,
they thricetold the taler and they knew the whyed for too. The because
of his sosuch. Uglymand fit himshemp but throats fill us all! And three's
here's for repeat of the unium! Place the scaurs wore on your groot big
bailey bill, he apullajibed, the O'Colonel Power, latterly distented from
the O'Conner Dan, so promonitory himself that he was obliffious of the
headth of hosth that rosed before him, from Sheeroskouro, under its
zembliance of mardal mansk, like a dun darting dullemitter, with his
moultain haares stuck in plostures upon it, (do you kend yon peak with
its coast so green?) still trystfully acape for her his gragh knew well in
precious memory and that proud grace to her, in gait a movely water, of
smile a coolsome cup, with that rarefied air of a Montmalency and her
quick little breaths and her climbing colour. Take thee live will save
thee wive? I'll think uplon, lilady. Should anerous enthroproise call
homovirtue, duinnafear! The ghem's to the ghoom be she nere zo zma.
Obsit nemon! Floodlift, her ancient of rights regaining, so yester yidd,
even remembrance. And greater grown then in the trifle of her days, a
mouse, a mere tittle, trots off with the whole panoromacron picture. Her
youngfree yoke stilling his wandercursus, jilt the spin of a curl and jolt
the broadth of a buoy. The Annexandreian captive conquest. Ethna
Prettyplume, Hooghly Spaight. Him her first lap, her his fast pal, for
ditcher for plower, till deltas twoport. While this glowworld's lump is
gloaming off and han in hende will grow. Through simpling years
where the lowcasts have aten of amilikan honey and datish fruits and a
bannock of barley on Tham the Thatcher's palm. O wanderness be
wondernest and now! Listeneath to me, veils of Mina! He would
withsay, nepertheloss, that is too me mean. I oldways did me walsh and
preechup ere we set to sope and fash. Now eats the vintner over these
contents oft with his sad slow munch for backonham. Yet never shet it
the brood of aurowoch, not for legions of donours of Gamuels. I have
performed the law in truth for the lord of the law, Taif Alif. I have held
out my hand for the holder of my heart in Annapolis, my youthrib city.
Be ye then my protectors unto Mussabotomia before the guards of the
city. Theirs theres is a gentlemeants agreement. Womensch plodge. To
slope through heather till the foot. Join Andersoon and Co. If the
flowers of speech valed the springs of me rising the hiker I hilltapped
the murk I mist my blezzard way. Not a knocker on his head nor a
nicknumber on the manyoumeant. With that coldtbrundt natteldster
wefting stinks from Alpyssinia, wooving nihilnulls from Memoland and
wolving the ulvertones of the voice. But his spectrem onlymergeant
crested from the irised sea in plight, calvitousness, loss, nngnr,
gliddinyss, unwill and snorth. It might have been what you call your
change of my life but there's the chance of a night for my lifting.
Hillyhollow, valleylow! With the sounds and the scents in the morning.

    — I shot be shoddied, throttle me, fine me cowheel for ever,
usquebauched the ersewild aleconner, for bringing briars to Bembracken
and ringing rinbus round Demetrius for, as you wrinkle wryghtly, bully
bluedomer, it's a suirsite's stircus haunting hesteries round old
volcanoes. We gin too gnir and thus plinary indulgence makes
collemullas of us all. But Time is for talerman tasting his tap. Tiptoptap,
Mister Maut.

    He made one summery (Cholk and murble in lonestime) of his the
three swallows like he was muzzling Moselems and torched up as the
faery pangeant fluwed down the hisophenguts, a slake for the
quicklining, to the tickle of his tube and the twobble of his fable, O,
fibbing once upon a spray what a queer and queasy spree it was.
Plumped.

    Which      both   did.   Prompt.    Eh,    chrystal   holder?    Save
Ampsterdampster that had rheumaniscences in his netherlumbs.

    — By the drope in his groin, Ali Slupa, thinks the cappon, plumbing
his liners, we were heretofore.

    — And be the coop of his gobbos, Reacher the Thaurd, thinks your
girth fatter, apopo of his buckseaseilers, but where's Horace's courtin
troopsers?

    — I put hem behind the oasthouse, sagd Pukkelsen, tuning wound
on the teller, appeased to the cue, that double dyode dealered, and he's
wallowing awash swill of the Tarra water. And it marinned down his
gargantast trombsathletic like the marousers of the gulpstroom. The
kersse of Wolafs on him, shitateyar, he sagd in the fornicular, and, at
weare or not at weare, I'm sigen no stretcher, for I carsed his
murhersson goat in trotthers with them newbucklenoosers behigh in the
fire behame in the oasthouse. Hops! sagd he.

    — Smoke and coke choke! lauffed till the tear trickled drown a
thigh the loafers all but a sheep's whosepants that swished to the lord he
hadn't and the starer his story was talled to who felt that, the fierifornax
being thurst on him motophosically, as Omar sometime notes, such a
satuation, debauchly to be watched for, would empty dempty him down
to the ground.

    — And hopy dope! sagd he, anded the enderer, now dyply
hypnotised or hopeseys doper himself. And kersse him, sagd he, after
inunder tarrapoulling, and the shines he cuts, shinar, the screeder, the
stitchimesnider,   adepted    to   nosestorsioms    in   his   budinholder,
cummanisht, sagd he, (fouyoufoukou!) which goes in the ways
smooking publics, sagd he, bomboosting to be in thelitest civille row
faction for a dubblebrasterd navvygaiterd, (flick off that hvide aske, big
head!) sagd he, the big bag of my hamd till hem, tollerloon, sagd he,
with his pudny bun brofkost when he walts meet the bangd. I will put
his fleas of wood in the flour, and he sagd, behunt on the oatshus, the
not wellmade one, sagd he, the kersse of my armsore appal this most
unmentionablest of men (mundering eeriesk, if he didn't scalded him all
the shimps names in his gitter!) a coathemmed gusset sewer, sagd he,
his first cudgin is an innvalet in the unitred stables which is not feed
tonights a kirtle offal fisk and he is that woe worstered wastended
shootmaker whatever poked a noodle in a clouth!
    So for the second tryon all the meeting of the acarras had it. How he
hised his bungle oar his shourter and cut the pinter off his pourer and lay
off for Fellagulphia in the farning. From his dhruimadhreamdhrue back
to Brighten-pon-the-Baltic, from our lund's rund turs bag til threathy
hoeres a wuke. Ugh!

    — Stuff, Taaffe, stuff! interjoked it his wife's hopesend to the boath
of them consistently. Come back to May Aileen.

    — Ild luck to it! blastfumed the nowraging scamptail, in flating
furies outs trews his cammelskins, the flashlight of his ire wackering
from the eyewinker on his masttop. And aye far he fared from Afferik
Arena and yea near he night till Blawland Bearring, baken be the brazen
sun, buttered be the snows. And the sea shoaled and the saw squalled.
And, soaking scupper, didn't he drain

    A pause.

    Infernal machinery (serial number: Bullysacre, dig care a dig)
having thus passed the buck to billy back from jack (finder the keeper)
as the baffling yarn sailed in circles it was now high tide for the
reminding pair of snipers to be suitably punished till they had, like the
pervious oelkenner done, liquorally no more powers to their elbow.
Ignorinsers' bliss, therefore, their not to say rifle butt target, none too
wisefolly, poor fish, (he is eating, he is spun, is milked, he dives)
upholding a lampthorne of lawstift as wand of welcome to all men in
bonafay, (and the corollas he so has saved gainsts the virus he has thus
injected!) discoastedself to that kipsie point of its Dublin bar there,
breaking and entering, from the outback's dead heart, Glasthule Bourne
or Boehernapark Nolagh, by wattsismade or bianconi, astraylians in
island, a wellknown tall hat blown in between houses by a nightcap of
that silk or it might be a black velvet and a kiber galler dragging his
hunker, were signalling gael warnings towards Wazwollenzee Haven to
give them their beerings, east circular route or elegant central highway.
Open, 'tis luck will have it! Lifeboat Alloe, Noeman's Woe, Hircups
Emptybolly! With winkles whelks and cocklesent jelks. Let be
buttercup eve lit by night in the Phoenix! Music. And old lotts have
funn at Flammagen's ball. Till Irinwakes from Slumber Deep. How they
succeeded by courting daylight in saving darkness he who loves will
see.

       Business. His bestness. Copeman helpen.

       Contrescene.

       He cupped his years to catch me's to you in what's yours as minest
to hissent, giel as gail, geil as gaul, Odorozone, now ourmenial servent,
blanding rum, milk and toddy with I hand it to you. Saying whiches, see
his bow on the hapence, with a pattedyr but digit here, he scooped the
hens, hounds and horses biddy by bunny, with an arc of his covethand,
saved from the drohnings they might oncounter, untill his cubid long, to
hide in dry. Aside. Your sows tin the topple, dodgers, trink me dregs!
Zoot!
    And with the gust of a spring alice the fossickers and swaggelers
with him on the hoof from down under piked forth desert roses in that
mulligar scrub.

    Reenter Ashe Junior. Peiwei toptip, nankeen pontdelounges. Gives
fair day. Cheroot. Cheevio!

    Off.

    — Take off thatch whitehat (lo, Kersse come in back bespoking of
loungeon off the Boildawl stuumplecheats for rushirishis Irush-Irish,
dangieling his old Conan over his top gallant shouldier so was, lao yiu
shao, he's like more look a novicer on the nevay).

    — Tick off that whilehot, you scum of a botch, (of Kersse who, as
he turned out, alas, hwen ching hwan chang, had been mocking his
hollaballoon a sample of the costume of the country).

    — Tape oaf that saw foull and sew wrong, welsher, you suck of a
thick, stock and the udder, and confiteor yourself (for bekersse he had
cuttered up and misfutthered in the most multiplest manner for that poor
old bridge's masthard slouch a shook of cloakses the wise, hou he pouly
hung hoang tseu, his own fitther couldn't nose him).

    Chorus: With his coate so graye. And his pounds that he pawned
from the burning.

    — And, haikon or hurlin, who did you do at doyle today, my horsey
dorksey gentryman. Serge Mee, suit! sazd he, tersey kersey. And when
Tersse had sazd this Kersse stood them the whole koursse of training
how the whole blazy raze acurraghed, from lambkinsback to sliving
board and from spark to phoenish. And he tassed him tartly and he
sassed him smartly, tig for tager, strop for stripe, as long as there's a
lyasher on a kyat. And they peered him beheld on the pyre.

    And it was so. Behold.

    — Same capman no nothing horces two feller he feller go where.
Isn't that effect? gig for gag, asked there three newcommers till
knockingshop at the ones upon a topers who, while in admittance to that
impedance, as three as they were there, they had been malttreating
themselves to their health's contempt.

    — That's fag for fig, metinkus, confessed, mhos for mhos, those
who, would it not be for that dielectrick, were upon the point of
obsoletion, and at the brink of from the pillary of the Nilsens and from
the statutes of the Kongbullies and from the millestones of
Ovlergroamlius libitate nos, Domnial!

    — And so culp me goose, he sazd, szed the ham muncipated of the
first course, recoursing, all cholers and coughs with his beauw on the
bummell, the bugganeering wanderducken, he sazd, (that his pumps
may ship awhoyle shandymound of the dussard), the coarsehair
highsaydighsayman, there's nice tugs he looks, (how you was, Ship
Alouset?) he sazd, the bloedaxe bloodooth baltxebec, that is crupping
into our raw lenguage navel through the lumbsmall of his hawsehole, he
sazd, donconfounder him, voyaging after maidens, belly jonah hunting
the polly joans, and the hurss of all portnoysers befaddle him, he sazd,
till I split in his flags, he sazd, one to one, the landslewder, after
Donnerbruch fire. Reefer was a wenchman. One can smell off his
wetsments how he is coming from a beach of promisck. Where is that
old muttiny, shall I ask? Free kicks he will have from me, turncoats, in
Bar Bartley if I wars a fewd years ago. Meistr Capteen Gaascooker, a
salestrimmer! As he was soampling me ledder, like pulp, and as I was
trailing his fumbelums, like hulp, he'll fell the fall of me faus, he sazd,
like yulp! The goragorridgorballyed pushkalsson, he sazd, with his
bellows pockets fulled of potchtatos and his fox in a stomach, a
disagrees to his ramskew coddlelecherskithers' zirkuvs, drop down dead
and deaf, and there is never a teilwrmans in the feof fife of Iseland or in
the wholeabelongd of Skunkinabory from Drumadunderry till the
rumnants of Mecckrass, could milk a colt in thrushes foran furrow
follower width that a hole in his tale and that hell of a hull of a hill of a
camelump bakk. Fadgestfudgist!

    Upon this dry call of selenium cell (that horn of lunghalloon,
Riland's in peril!) with its doomed crack of the old damn ukonnen
power insound in it the lord of the saloom, as if for a flash
salamagunnded himself, listed his tummelumpsk pack and hearinat
presently returned him, ambilaterally alleyeoneyesed, from their
uppletoned layir to his beforetime guests, that bunch of palers on their
round, timemarching and petrolling how, who if they were abound to
loose a laugh (Toni Lampi, you booraascal!) they were abooned to let it
as the leashed they might do when they felt (O, the wolf he's on the
walk, sees his sham cram bokk!) their joke was coming home to them,
the steerage way for stabling, ghustorily spoeking, gen and gang, dane
and dare, like the dud spuk of his first foetotype (Trolldedroll, how vary
and likely!), the fillibustered, the fully bellied. With the old sit in his
shoulders, and the new satin atlas onder his uxter, erning his breadth to
the swelt of his proud and, picking up the emberose of the lizod lights,
his tail toiled of spume and spawn, and the bulk of him, and hulk of him
as whenever it was he reddled a ruad to riddle a rede from the sphinxish
pairc while Ede was a guardin, ere love a side issue. They hailed him
cheeringly, their encient, the murrainer, and wallruse, the merman, ye
seal that lubs you lassers, Thallasee or Tullafilmagh, when come of
uniform age.

    — Heave, coves, emptybloddy!

    And ere he could catch or hook or line to suit their saussyskins, the
lumpenpack. Underbund was overraskelled. As

    — Sot! sod the tailors opsits from their gabbalots, change all that
whole set. Shut down and shet up. Our set, our set's allohn.

    And they poured em behoiled on the fire. Scaald!

    Rowdiose wodhalooing. Theirs is one lessonless missage for good
and truesirs. Will any persen bereaved to be passent bringback or
rumpart to the Hoved politymester. Clontarf, one love, one fear. Ellers
for the greeter glossary of code, callen hom: Finucane-Lee, Finucane-
Law.
   Am. Dg.

   Welter focussed.

   Wind from the nordth. Warmer towards muffinbell, Lull.

   As our revelant Colunnfiller predicted in last mount's chattiry
sermon, the allexpected depression over Schiumdinebbia, a bygger
muster of veirying precipitation and haralded by faugh sicknells, (hear
kokkenhovens ekstras!) and umwalloped in an unusuable suite of
clouds, having filthered through the middelhav of the same gorgers'
kennel on its wage wealthwards and incursioned a sotten retch of low
pleasure, missed in some parts but with lucal drizzles, the outlook for
tomarry (Streamstress Mandig) beamed brider, his ability good.

   What hopends to they?

   Giant crash in Aden. Birdflights confirm abbroaching nubtials.
Burial of Lifetenant-Groevener Hatchett, R.I.D. Devine's Previdence.

   Ls. De.

   Art thou gainous sense uncompetite! Limited. Anna Lynchya
Pourable! One and eleven. United We Stand, even many offered. Don't
forget. I wish auspicable thievesdayte for the stork dyrby. It will be a
thousand's a won paddies. And soon to bet. On drums of bliss. With
hapsalap troth, hipsalewd prudity, hopesalot honnessy, hoopsaloop luck.
After when from midnights unwards the fourposter harp quartetto.
(Kiskiviikko, Kalastus. Torstaj, tanssia. Perjantaj, peleja. Lavantaj ja
Sunnuntaj, christianismus kirjallisuus, kirjallisuus christianismus.)
Whilesd this pellover his finnisch.

    — Comither, ahorace, thou mighty man of valour, elderman
adaptive of Capel Ysnod, and tsay-fong tsei-foun a laun bricksnumber
till I've fined you a faulter-in-law, to become your sonto-be, gentlemens
tealer, generalman seelord, gosse and bosse, hunguest and horasa,
jonjemsums both, in sailsmanship, szed the head marines talebearer,
then sayd the ships gospfather in the scat story to the husband's capture
and either you does or he musts and this moment same, sayd he, so let
laid pacts be being betving ye, he sayd, by my main makeshift, he sayd,
one fisk and one flesk, as flat as, Aestmand Addmundson you, you're
iron slides and so hompety domp as Paddley Mac Namara here he's a
hardy canooter, for the two breasts of Banba are her soilers and her
toilers, if thou wilt serve Idyall as thou hast sayld. Brothers Boathes,
brothers Coathes, ye have swallen blooders' oathes. And Gophar sayd
unto Glideon and sayd he to the nowedding captain, the rude hunnerable
Humphrey, who was praying god of clothildies by the seven bosses of
his trunktarge he would save bucklesome when she wooed belove on
him, comeether, sayd he, my merrytime marelupe, you wutan whaal,
sayd he, into the shipfolds of our quadrupede island, bless madhugh,
mardyk, luusk and cong! Blass Neddos bray! And no more of your
maimed acts after this with your kowtoros and criados to every tome,
thick and heavy, and our onliness of his revelance to your ultitude. The
illfollowable staying in wait for you with the winning word put into his
mouth or be the hooley tabell, as Horrocks Toler hath most cares to call
it, I'll rehearse your comeundermends and first mardhyr you entirely. As
puck as that Paddeus picked the pun and left the lollies off the foiled. A
Trinity judge will crux your boom. Pat is the man for thy. Ay ay! And
he pured him beheild of the ouishguss, mingling a sign of the cruisk. I
popetithes thee, Ocean, sayd he, Oscarvaughther, sayd he, Erievikkingr,
sayd he, intra trifum triforium trifoliorum, sayd he, onconditionally,
forfor furst of gielgaulgalls and hero chief explunderer of the
clansakiltic, sayd he, the streameress mastress to the sea aase
cuddycoalman's and let this douche for you as a wholly apuzzler's and
for all the pukkaleens to the wakes of you, sayd he, out of the hellsinky
of the howtheners and be danned to ye, sayd he, into our roomyo
connellic relation, sayd he, from which our this pledge is given, Tera
truly ternatrine if not son towards thousand like expect chrisan athems
to which I osker your godhsbattaring, saelir, for as you gott kvold
whereafter a gooden diggin and with gooder enscure from osion buck
fared agen fairioes feuded hailsohame til Edar in that the loyd mave
hercy on your sael! Anomyn and awer. Spickinusand.

    — Nansense, you snorsted? he was haltid considerable agenst all
religions overtrow so hworefore the thokkurs pokker the bigbug
miklamanded storstore exploder would he be whulesalesolde daadooped
by Priest Gudfodren of the sacredhaunt suit in Diaeblen-Balkley at
Domnkirk Saint Petricksburg? But ear this:
    — And here, aaherra, my rere admirable peadar poulsen, sayd he,
consistently, to the secondnamed sutor, my lately lamented sponsorship,
comesend round that wine and lift your horn, sayd he, to show you're a
skolar for, winter you likes or not, we brought your summer with us
and, tomkin about your lief eurekason and his undishcovery of americle,
be the rolling forties, he sayd, and on my sopper crappidamn, as Harris
himself says, to let you in on some crismion dottrin, here is the ninethest
pork of a man whisk swimmies in Dybblin water from Ballscodden
easthmost till Thyrston's Lickslip and, sayd he, (whiles the heart of
Lukky Swayn slaughed in his icebox for to think of all the soorts of
smukklers he would behave in juteyfrieze being forelooper to her)
praties peel to our goodsend Brandonius, filius of a Cara, spouse to
Fynlogue, he has the nicesth pert of a nittlewoman in the house, la chito,
la chato, la Charmadouiro, Tina-bat-Talur, cif for your fob and a tesura
astore for you, eslucylamp aswhen the surge seas sombren, that he
daughts upon of anny livving plusquebelle, to child and foster, that's the
lippeyear's wonder of Totty go, Newschool, two titty too at win winnie
won, tramity trimming and funnity fare, with a grit as hard as the trent
of the thimes but a touch as saft as the dee in flooing and never a
Hyderow Jenny the like of her lightness at look and you leap,
rheadoromanscing long evmans invairn, about little Anny Roners and
all the Lavinias of ester yours and pleding for them to herself in the
periglus glatsch hangs over her trickle bed, it's a piz of fortune if it
never falls from the stuffel, and, when that mallaura's over till next time
and all the prim rossies are out dressparading and the tubas tout tout for
the glowru of their god, making every Dinny dingle after her down the
Dargul dale and (wait awhile, blusterbuss, you're marchadant too forte
and don't start furlan your ladins till you' ve learned the lie of her
landuage!), when it's summwer calding and she can hear the pianutunar
beyant the bayondes in Combria sleepytalking to the Wiltsh muntons,
titting out through her droemer window for the flyend of a touchman
over the wishtas of English Strand, when Kilbarrack bell pings
saksalaisance that Concessas with Sinbads may (pong!), where our
dollimonde sees the phantom shape of Mr Fortunatus Wright since
winksome Miss Bulkeley made loe to her wrecker and he took her to be
a rover, O, and playing house of ivary dower of gould and gift you soil
me peepat my prize, which its a blue loogoont for her in a bleakeyed
seusan if she can't work her mireiclles and give Norgeyborgey good
airish timers, while her fresh racy turf is kindly kindling up the lovver
with the flu, with a roaryboaryellas would set an Eiweddyng on fire, let
aloon an old Humpopolamos with the boomarpoorter on his brain, aiden
bay scye and dye, aasbukividdy, twentynine to her dozen and coocoo
him didulceydovely to his old cawcaws huggin and munin for his strict
privatear which there's no pure rube like an ool pool roober when your
pullar beer turns out Bruin O'Luinn and beat his barge into a battering
pram with her wattling way for cubblin and, be me fairy fay, sayd he,
the marriage mixter, to Kersse, Son of Joe Ashe, her coaxfonder, wiry
eyes and winky hair, timkin abeat your Andraws Meltons and his
lovsang of the short and shifty, I will turn my thinks to things alove and
I will speak but threes ones, sayd he, my truest patrions good founter,
poles a port and zones asunder, tie up in hates and repeat at luxure, you
can better your tooblue prodestind arson, tyler bach, after roundsabouts
and donochs and the volumed smoke, though the clonk in his stumble
strikes warn, and were he laid out on that counter there like a
Slavocrates amongst his skippies, when it comes to the ride onerable,
sayd he, that's to make plain Nanny Ni Sheeres a full Dinamarqueza,
and all needed for the lay, from the hursey on the montey with the room
in herberge down to forkpiece and bucklecatch, (Elding, my elding! and
Lif, my lif!) in the pravacy of the pirmanocturne, hap, sayd he, at that
meet hour of night, and hop, sayd he, and the fyrsty annas everso thried
(whiles the breath of Huppy Hullespond swumped in his seachest for to
renumber all the mallymedears' long roll and call of sweetheart emmas
that every had a port in from Coxenhagen till the brottels on the Nile),
while taylight is yet slipping under their pillow, (ill omens on Kitty Cole
if she's spilling laddy's measure!) and before Sing Mattins in the Fields,
ringsengd ringsengd, bings Heri the Concorant Erho, and the Referinn
Fuchs Gutmann gives us I'll Bell the Welled or The Steeplepoy's
Revanger and all Thingavalley knows for its never dawn in the dark but
the deed comes to life, and raptist bride is aptist breed (tha lassy! tha
lassy!), and, to buoy the hoop within us springing, 'tis no timbertar she'll
have then in her armsbrace to doll the dallydandle, our fiery quean,
upon the night of the things of the night of the making to stand up the
double tet of the oversear of the seize who cometh from the mighty deep
and on the night of making Horuse to crihumph over his enemy, be the
help of me cope as so pluse the riches of the roedshields, with
Elizabeliza blessing the bedpain, at the willbedone of Yinko Jinko
Randy, come Bastabasco and hippychip eggs, she will make a suomease
pair and singlette, jodhpur smalls and tailorless, a copener's cribful, leaf,
bud and berry, the divlin's own little mimmykin puss, (hip, hip, horatia!)
for my old comrhade saltymar here, Briganteen — General Sir A. I.
Magnus, the flappernooser, master of the good lifebark Ulivengrene of
Onslought, and the homespund of her hearth, (Fuss his farther was the
norse norse east and Muss his mother was a gluepot) and, gravydock or
groovy anker, and a hulldread pursunk manowhood, who (with a
chenchen for his delight time and a bonzeye nappin through his doze) he
is the bettest bluffy blondblubber of an olewidgeon what overspat a
skettle in a skib.

    Cawcaught. Coocaged.

    And Dub did glow that night. In Fingal of victories. Cannmatha and
Cathlin sang together. And the three shouters of glory. Yelling
halfviewed their harps. Surly Tuhal smiled upon drear Darthoola: and
Roscranna's bolgaboyo begirlified the daughter of Cormac. The soul of
everyelsesbody rolled into its olesoleself. A doublemonth's licence,
lease on mirth, while hooneymoon and her flame went huneysuckling.
Holyryssia, what boom of bells! What battle of bragues on Sandgate
where met the bobby mobbed his bibby mabbing through the ryce. Even
Tombs left doss and dunnage down in Demidoff's tomb and drew on the
dournailed clogs that Morty Manning left him and legged in by
Ghoststown Gate, like Pompei up to date, with a sprig of Whiteboys
heather on his late Luke Elcock's heirloom. And some say they seen old
dummydeaf with a leaf of bronze on his cloak so grey, trooping his
colour a pace to the reire. And as owfally posh with his halfcrown jool
as if he was the Granjook Meckl or Paster de Grace on the Route de
l'Epée. It was joobileejeu that All Sorts' Jour. Freestouters and
publicranks, hafts on glaives. You could hear them swearing threaties
on the Cymylaya Mountains, man. And giving it out to the Ould
Fathach and louthmouthing after the Healy Mealy with an enfysis to
bring down the rain of Tarar. Nevertoletta! Evertomind! The grandest
bethehailey seen or heard on earth's conspectrum since Scape the Goat,
that gafr, ate the Suenders bible. Hadn't we heaven's lamps to hide us?
Yet every lane had its lively spark and every spark had its several
spurtles and each spitfire spurtle had some trick of her trade, a tease for
Ned, nook's nestle for Fred and a peep at me mow for Peer Pol. So that
Father Matt Hughes looked taytotally threbled. But Danno the Dane
grimmed. Dune. 'Twere yeg will elsecare doatty lanv meet they
dewscent hyemn to cannons' roar and rifles' peal vill shantey soloweys
sang! For there were no more Tyrrhanees and for Laxembraghs was
passthecupper to Our Lader's. And it was dim upon the floods only and
there was day on all the ground.

    Thus street spins legends while wharves woves tales but some
family fewd felt a nick in their name. Old Vickers sate down on their
airs and straightened the points of their lace. Red Rowleys popped out
of their lairs and asked what was wrong with the race. Mick na
Murrough used dripping in layers to shave all the furze off his face. The
Burke-Lees and Coyle-Finns paid full feines for their sinns when the
Cap and Miss Coolie were roped.

    Rolloraped.

    With her banbax hoist from holder, zig for zag through pool and
polder, cheap, cheap, cheap and Laughing Jack, all augurs scorenning,
see the Bolche your pictures motion and Kitzy Kleinsuessmein eloping
for that holm in Finn's Hotel Fiord, Nova Norening. Where they pulled
down the kuddle and they made fray and if thee don't look homey, well,
that Dook can eye Mae.

    He goat a berth. And she cot a manege. And wohl's gorse mundom
ganna wedst.

    Knock knock. War's where! Which war? The Twwinns. Knock
knock. Woos without! Without what? An apple. Knock knock.

    The kilder massed, one then and uhindred, (harefoot, birdyhands,
herringabone, beesknees), and they barneydansked a kathareen round to
know the who and to show the howsome. Why was you hiding, moder
of moders? And where was hunty, poppa the gun? Pointing up to
skyless heaven like the spoon out of sergeantmajor's tay. Which was the
worst of them phaymix cupplerts? He's herd of hoarding and her faiths
is altared. Becoming ungoing, their seeming sames for though that
liamstone deaf do his part there's a windtreetop whipples the damp off
the mourning. But tellusit allasif wellasits end. And the lunger it takes
the swooner they tumble two. He knows he's just thrilling and she's sure
she'd squeam. The threelegged man and the tulippied dewydress. Lludd
hillmythey, we're brimming to hear! The durst he did and the first she
ever? Peganeen Bushe, this isn't the polkar, catch as you cancan when
high land fling! And you Tim Tommy Melooney, I'll tittle your barents
if you stick that pigpin upinto meh!

    So in the names of the balder and of the sol and of the hollichrost,
ogsowearit, trisexnone, and by way of letting the aandt out of her
grosskropper and leading the mokes home by their gribes, whoopsabout
a plabbaside of plobbicides, alamam alemon, poison kerls, on this
mounden of Delude, and in the high places of Delude of Isreal, which is
Haraharem and the diublin's owld mounden over against Vikens, from
your tarns, thwaites and thorpes, withes, tofts and fosses, fells, haughs
and shaws, lunds, garths and dales, mensuring the megnominous as so
will is the littleyest, the myrioheartzed with toroidal coil, eira area round
wantanajocky, fin above wave after duckydowndivvy, trader arm aslung
beauty belt, the formor velican and nana karlikeevna, sommerlad and
cinderenda, Valtivar and Viv, how Big Bil Brine Borumoter first took
his gage at lil lolly lavvander waader since when capriole legs covets
limbs of a crane and was it the twylyd or the mounth of the yare or the
feint of her smell made the seomen assalt of her (in imageascene all:
whimwhim whimwhim). To the laetification of disgeneration by
neuhumorisation of our kristianiasation. As the last liar in the earth
begeylywayled the first lady of the forest. Though Toot's pardoosled
sauve l'hummour! For the joy of the dew on the flower of the fleets on
the fields of the foam of the waves of the seas of the wild main from
Borneholm has jest come to crown.

    Snip snap snoody. Noo err historyend goody. Of a lil trip trap and a
big treeskooner for he put off the ketyl and they made three (for fie!)
and if hec dont love alpy then lad you annoy me. For hanigen with
hunigen    still   haunt   ahunt   to   finnd   their   hinnigen    where
Pappappapparrassannuaragheallachnatullaghmonganmacmacmacwhack
falltherdebblenonthedubblandaddydoodled and anruly person creeked a
jest. Gestapose to parry off cheekars or frankfurters on the odor. Fine
again, Cuoholson! Peace, O wiley!

    Such was the act of goth stepping the tolk of Doolin, drain and
plantage, wattle and daub, with you'll peel as I'll pale and we'll pull the
boath toground togutter, testies touchwood and shenstone unto pop and
puma, calf and condor, under all the gaauspices (incorporated), the chal
and his chi, their roammerin over, gribgrobgrab reining trippetytrappety
(so fore shalt thou flow, else thy cavern hair!) to whom she (anit
likenand pleasethee!). Till sealump becamedump to bumpslump a
lifflebed, (altolà allamarsch! O gué O gué!). Kaemper Daemper to Jetty
de Waarft, all the weight of that mons on his little ribbeunuch! Him that
gronde old mand to be that haard of heaering (afore said) and her the
petty tondur with the fix in her changeable eye (which see), Lord, me
lad, he goes with blowbierd, leedy, plasheous stream. But before that his
loudship was converted to a landshop there was a little theogamyjig
incidence that hoppygo-jumpy Junuary morn when he colluded with the
cad out on the beg amudst the fiounaregal gaames of those oathmassed
fenians for whome he's forcecaused a bridge of the piers, at Inverleffy,
mating pontine of their engagement, synnbildising graters and things,
eke ysendt? O nilly, not all, here's the first cataraction! As if ever she
cared an assuan damm about her harpoons sticking all out of him whet
between phoenix his calipers and that psourdonome sheath. Sdrats ye,
Gus Paudheen! Kenny's thought ye, Dinny Oozle! While the cit was
leaking asphalt like a suburbiaurealis in his rure was tucking to him like
old booths, booths, booths, booths.

    Enterruption. Check or slowback. Dvershen.

    Why, wonder of wenchalows, what o szeszame open, v doer s t
doing? V door s being. But how theng thingajarry miens but this being
becoming n z doer? K? An o. It is ne not him what foots like a glove,
shoehandschiner Pad Podomkin. Sooftly, anni slavey, szszuszchee is
slowjaneska.

    The aged crafty nummifeed confusionary overinsured everlapsing
accentuated katekattershin clopped, clopped, clopped, darsey dobrey,
back and along the danzing corridor, as she was going to pimpim him,
way boy wally, not without her complement of cavarnan men, between
the two deathdealing allied divisions and the lines of readypresent fire
of the corkedagains upstored, taken in giving the saloot, band your
hands going in, bind your heads coming out, and remoltked to herselp in
her serf's alown, a weerpovy willowy dreevy drawly and the patter of so
familiars, farabroads and behomeans, as she shure sknows, boof for a
booby, boo: new uses in their mewseyfume. The jammesons is a cook in
his hair. And the juinnesses is a rapin his hind. And the Bullingdong
caught the wind up. Dip.

    And the message she braught belaw from the missus she bragged
abouve that had her agony stays outsize her sari chemise, blancking her
shifts for to keep up the fascion since the king of all dronnings kissed
her beeswixed hand, fang (pierce me, hunky, I'm full of meunders!), her
fize like a tubtail of mondayne clothes, fed to the chaps with working
medicals and her birthright pang that would split an atam like the forty
pins in her hood, was to fader huncher a howdydowdy, to mountainy
mots in her amnest plein language, from his fain a wan, his hot and tot
lass, to pierce his ropeloop ear, how, Podushka be prayhasd, now the
sowns of his loins were awinking and waking and his dorter of the hush
lillabilla lullaby (lead us not into reformication with the poors in your
thingdom of gory, O moan!), once after males, nonce at a time, with
them Murphy's puffs she dursted with gnockmeggs and the bramborry
cake for dour dorty dompling obayre Mattom Beetom and epsut the pfot
and if he was whishtful to licture her caudal with chesty chach from his
dauberg den and noviny news from Naul or toplots talks from
morrienbaths or a parrotsprate's cure for ensevelised lethurgies, spick's
my spoon and the veriblest spoon, 'twas her hour for the chamber's
ensallycopodium with love to melost Panny Kostello from X.Y. Zid for
to folly billybobbis gibits porzy punzy and she was a wanton for De
Marera to take her genial glow to bed.
    — This is time for my tubble, reflected Mr 'Gladstone Browne' in
the toll hut (it was choractoristic from that 'man of Delgany'). Dip.

    — This is me vulcanite smoking, profused Mr 'Bonaparte Nolan'
under the natecup (one feels how one may hereby reekignites the
'ground old mahonagyan'). Dip.

    — And this is defender of defeater of defaulter of deformer of the
funst man in Danelagh, willingtoned in with this glance dowon his
browen and that born appalled noodlum the panellite pair's cummal
delimitator, odding: Oliver White, he's as tiff as she's tight. And thisens
his speak quite hoarse. Dip.

    In reverence to her midgetsy the lady of the comeallyous as
madgestoo our own one's goff stature. Prosim, prosit, to the krk n yr
nck!

    O rum it is the chomicalest thing how it pickles up the punchey and
the jude. If you'll gimmy your thing to me I will gamey a sing to thee.
Stay where you're dummy! To get her to go ther. He banged the scoop
and she bagged the sugar while the whole pub's pobbel done a stare. On
the mizzatint wall. With its chromo for all, crimm crimms. Showing
holdmenag's asses sat by Allmeneck's men, canins to ride with em,
canins that lept at em, woollied and flundered.

    So the katey's came and the katey's game. As so gangs sludgenose.
And that henchwench what hopped it dunneth there duft the. Duras.
    (Silents)

    Yes, we've conned thon print in its gloss so gay how it came from
Finndlader's Yule to the day and it's Hey Tallaght Hoe on the king's
highway with his hounds on the home at a turning. To Donnicoombe
Fairing. Millikin's Pass. When visiting at Izd-la-Chapelle taste the lipe
of the waters from Carlowman's Cup.

    It tellyhows its story to their six of hearts, a twelve-eyed man; for
whom has madjestky who since is dyed drown reign before the izba.

    Au! Au! Aue! Ha! Heish!

    As stage to set by ritual rote for the grimm grimm tale of the four of
hyacinths, the deafeeled carp and the bugler's dozen of leagues-in-
amour or how Holispolis went to Parkland with mabby and sammy and
sonny and sissy and mop's varlet de shambles and all to find the right
place for it by peep o'skirt or pipe a skirl when the hundt called a halt on
the chivvychace of the ground sloper at that ligtning lovemaker's
thender apeal till, between wandering weather and stable wind,
vastelend hosteilend, neuziel and oltrigger some, Bullyclubber
burgherly shut the rush in general.

    Let us propel us for the frey of the fray! Us, us, beraddy!

    Ko Niutirenis hauru leish! A lala! Ko Niutirenis haururu laleish! Ala
lala! The Wullingthund sturm is breaking. The sound of maormaoring.
The Wellingthund sturm waxes fuercilier. The whackawhacks of the
sturm. Katu te ihis ihis! Katu te wana wana! The strength of the
rawshorn generand is known throughout the world. Let us say if we may
what a weeny wukeleen can do.

    Au! Au! Aue! Ha! Heish! A lala!

    — Paud the roosky, weren't they all of them then each in his
different way of saying calling on the one in the same time hibernian
knights underthaner that was having, half for the laugh of the bliss it sint
barbaras another doesend end once tale of a tublin wished on to him
with its olives ocolombs and its hills owns ravings and Tutty his tour in
his Nowhare's yarcht. It was before when Aimee stood for Arthurduke
for the figger in profane and fell from grace so madlley for fill the flatter
fellows. (They were saying). And it was the lang in the shirt in the green
of the wood, where obelisk rises when odalisks fall, major threft on the
make and jollyjacques spindthrift on the merry (O Mr Mathurin, they
were calling, what a topheavy hat you're in! And there aramny maeud,
then they were saying, these so pioupious!). And it was cyclums
cyclorums after he made design on the corse and he want to mess on
him (enterellbo add all taller Danis), back, seater and sides, and he
applied (I'm amazingly sorracer!) the wholed bould shoulderedboy's
width for fullness, measures for messieurs, messer's massed, (they were
saycalling again and agone and all over agun, the louthly meathers, the
loudly meaders, the lously measlers, six to one, bar ones).

    And they pled him beheighten the firing. Dope.

    Maltomeetim, alltomatetam, when a tale tarries shome shunter
shove on. Fore auld they wauld to pree.
    Pray.

    Of this Mr A (tillalaric) and these wasch woman (dapplehued),
fhronehflord and feeofeeds, who had insue keen and able and a
spindlesong aside, nothing more is told until now, his awebrume hour,
her sere Sahara of sad oakleaves. And then. Be old. The next thing is.
We are once amore as babes awondering in a wold made fresh where
with the hen in the storyaboot we start from scratch.

    So the truce, the old truce and nattonbuff the truce, boys. Drouth is
stronger than faction. Slant. Shinshin. Shinshin.

    — It was of The Grant, old gartener, qua golden meddlist, Publius
Manlius, fuderal private, (his place is his poster, sure, they said, and
we're going to mark it, sore, they said, with a carbon caustick manner)
bequother the liberaloider at his petty corporelezzo that hung
caughtnapping from his baited breath, it was of him, my wife and I
thinks, to feel to every of the younging fruits, tenderosed like an
atalantic's breastswells or, on a second wreathing, a bright tauth bight
shimmeryshaking for the welt of his plow. And where the peckadillies
at his wristsends meetings be loving so lightly dovessoild the candidacy,
me wipin eye sinks, of his softboiled bosom should be apparient even to
our illicterate of nullatinenties.

    All to which not a lot snapped The Nolan of the Calabashes at his
whilom eweheart photognomist who by this sum taken was as much
incensed by Saint Bruno as that what he had consummed was his own
panegoric, and wot a lout about it if it was only a pippappoff pigeon
shoot that gracesold getrunner, the man of centuries, was bowled out by
judge, jury and umpire at batman's biff like a witchbefooled legate.
Dupe.

    His almonence being alaterelly in dispensation with his three oldher
patrons' aid, providencer's divine cow to milkfeeding mleckman,
bonafacies to solafides, what matter what all his freudzay or who holds
his hat to harm him, let hutch just keep on under at being a vanished
consinent and let annapal livibel prettily prattle a lude all her own. And
be that semeliminal salmon solemonly angled, ingate and outgate. A
truce to lovecalls, dulled in warclothes, maleybags, things and
bleakhusen. Leave the letter that never begins to go find the latter that
ever comes to end, written in smoke and blurred by mist and signed of
solitude, sealed at night.

    Simply. As says the mug in the middle, nay brian nay noel, ney billy
ney boney. Imagine twee cweamy wosen. Suppwose you get a beautiful
thought and cull them sylvias sub silence. Then inmaggin a stotterer.
Suppoutre him to been one biggermaster Omnibil. Then lustily (tutu the
font and tritt on the bokswoods like gay feeters's dance) immengine up
to three longly lurking lobstarts. Fair instents the Will Woolsley
Wellaslayers. Pet her, pink him, play pranks with them. She will nod
amproperly smile. He may seem to appraisiate it. They are as piractical
jukersmen sure to paltipsypote. Feel the wollies drippeling out of your
fingathumbs. Says to youssilves (floweers have ears, heahear!) solowly:
So these ease Budlim! How do, dainty daulimbs? So peached to pick on
you in this way, prue and simple, pritt and spry! Heyday too, Malster
Faunagon, and hopes your hahititahiti licks the mankey nuts! And
oodlum hoodlum doodlum to yes, Donn, Teague and Hurleg, who the
bullocks brought you here and how the hillocks are ye?

    We want Bud. We want Bud Budderly. We want Bud Budderly
boddily. There he is in his Borrisalooner. The man that shunned the
rucks on Gereland. The man thut won the bettlle of the bawll. Order,
order, order, order! And tough. We call on Tancred Artaxerxes Flavin to
compeer with Barnabas Ulick Dunne. Order, order, order! Milster
Malster in the chair. We've heard it sinse sung thousandtimes. How
Burghley shuck the rackushant Germanon. For Ehren, boys, gobrawl!

    A public plouse. Citizen soldiers.

    TAFF (a smart boy, of the peat freers, thirty two eleven, looking
through the roof towards a relevution of the karmalife order privious to
his hoisting of an emergency umberolum in byway of paraguastical
solation to the rhyttel in his hedd). All was flashing and krashning
blurty moriartsky blutcherudd? What see, buttywalch? Tell ever so
often?

    BUTT (mottledged youth, clergical appealance, who, as his pied
friar, is supposing to motto the sorry dejester in tifftaff toffiness or to be
digarced from ever and a daye in his accounts). But da. But dada,
mwilshsuni. Till even so aften. Sea vaast a pool!

    TAFF (porumptly helping himself out by the cesspull with a yellup
yurrup, puts up his furry furzed hare). Butly bitly! Humme to our
mounthings. Conscribe him tillusk, unt, in his jubalant tubalence, the
groundsapper, with his soilday site out on his moulday side in. The
gubernier-gerenal in laut-lievtonant of Baltiskeeamore, amaltheouse for
leporty hole! Endues paramilintary langdwage. The saillils of the
yellavs nocadont palignol urdlesh. Shelltoss and welltass and telltuss
aghom! Sling Stranaslang, how Malorazzias spikes her, coining a speak
a spake! Not the Setanik stuff that slimed soft Siranouche! The goot old
gunshop monowards for manosymples. Tincurs tammit! They did oak
hay doe fou Chang-il-meng when that man d'airain was big top tom saw
tip side bum boss pageantfiller. Ajaculate! All lea light! Rassamble the
glowrings of Bruyant the Bref when the Mollies Makehalpence took his
leg for his thumb. And may he be too an intrepidation of our dreams
which we foregot at wiking when the morn hath razed out limpalove
and the bleakfrost chilled our ravery! Pook. Sing ching lew mang!
Upgo, bobbycop! Lets hear in remember the braise of Hold!

   BUTT (drawling forth from his blousom whereis meditabound of his
minkerstary, switches on his gorsecopper's fling weitoheito langthorn,
fed up the grain oils of Aerin, while his laugh neighs banck as that
flashermind's rays and his lipponease longuewedge wambles).
Ullahbluh! Sehyoh narar, pokehole sann! Manhead very dirty by am
anoyato. Like old Dolldy Icon when he cooked up his iggs in bicon. He
gatovit and me gotafit and Oalgoak's Cheloven gut a fudden. Povar old
pitschobed! Molodeztious of metchennacht belaburt that pentschmyaso!
Bog carsse and dam neat, sar, gam cant! Limbers affront of him,
lumbers behund. While the bucks bite his dos his hart bides the ros till
the bounds of his bays bell the warning. Sobaiter sobarkar. He was
enmivallupped. Chromean fastion. With all his cannoball wappents. In
his raglanrock and his malakoiffed bulbsbyg and his varnashed roscians
and his cardigans blousejagged and his scarlett manchokuffs and his
treecoloured camiflag and his perikopendolous gaelstorms. Here weeks
hire pulchers! Obriania's beromst! From Karrs and Polikoff's, the men's
confessioners. Seval shimars pleasant time payings. Mousoumeselles
buckwoulds look. Tenter and likelings.

    TAFF      (all   Perssiasterssias     shookatnaratatattar      at   his
waggonhorchers, his bulgeglarying stargapers razzledazzlingly full of
eyes, full of balls, full of holes, full of buttons, full of stains, full of
medals, full of blickblackblobs). Grozarktic! Toadlebens! Some
garmentguy! Insects appalling, low hum clang sin! A cheap decoy! Too
deep destroy! Say mangraphique, may say nay por daguerre!

    BUTT (if that he hids foregodden has nate of glozery farused ameet
the florahs of the follest, his spent fish's livid smile giving allasundery
the bumfit of the doped). Come alleyou jupes of Wymmingtown that
graze the calves of Man! A bear raigning in his heavenspawn
consomation robes. Rent, outraged, yewleaved, grained, ballooned,
hindergored and voluant! Erminia's capecloaked hoodoodman! First he s
s st steppes. Then he st stoo stoopt. Lookt.

    TAFF (strick struck strangling like aleal lusky Lubliner to
merumber by the cycl of the cruize who strungled Attahilloupa with
what empoisoned El Monte de Zuma and failing wilnaynilnay that he
was pallups barn in the minkst of the Krumlin befodt he was popsoused
into the monkst of the vatercan, makes the holypolygon of the emt on the
greaseshaper, a little farther, a little soon, a letteracettera,
oukraydoubray). Scutterer of guld, he is retourious on every roudery!
The lyewdsky so so sewn of a fitchid! With his walshbrushup. And his
boney bogey braggs.

   BUTT (after his tongues in his cheeks, with pinkpoker pointing out
in rutene to impassible abjects beyond the mistomist towards Lissnaluhy
such as the Djublian Alps and the Hoofd Ribeiro as where he and his
trulock may ever make a game). The field of karhags and that bloasted
tree. Forget not the felled! For the lomondations of Oghrem! Warful
doon's bothem. Here furry glunn. Nye? Their feery pass. Tak! With
guerillaman aspear aspoor to prink the pranks of primkissies. And the
buddies behide in the byre. Allahblah!

   TAFF (a blackseer, he stroves to regulect all the straggles for wife
in the rut of the past through the widnows in effigies keening after the
blank sheets in their faminy to the relix of oll decency from over
draught). Oh day of rath! Ah, murther of mines! Eh, selo moy! Uh, zulu
luy! Bernesson Mac Mahahon from Osro bearing nose easger for sweeth
prolettas on his swooth prowl!

   BUTT (back to his peatrol and paump: swee Gee's wee rest: no
more applehooley: dodewodedook). Bruinoboroff, the hooneymoonger,
and the grizzliest manmichal in Meideveide! Whose annal livves the
hoiest! For he devoused the lelias on the fined and he conforted samp,
tramp and marchint out of the drumbume of a narse. Guards, serf
Finnland, serve we all!

    TAFF (whatwidth the psychophannies at the front and whetwadth
the psuckofumbers beholden the fair, illcertain, between his
bulchrichudes and the roshashanaral, where he sees Bishop Ribboncake
plus his pollex prized going forth on his visitations of mirrage or Miss
Horizon, justso all our fannacies daintied her, on the curve of the
camber, unsheathing a showlaced limbaloft to the great consternations).
Divulge! Hyededye, kittyls, and howdeddoh, pan! Poshbott and
pulbuties. See that we soll or let dargman be luna as strait a way as your
ant's folly me line while ye post is goang from Piping Pubwirth to
Haunted Hillborough on his Mujiksy's Zaravence, the Riss, the Ross,
the sur of all Russers, as my farst is near to hear and my sackend is meet
to sedon while my whole's a peer's aureolies. We should say you dones
the polecad. Bang on the booche, gurg in the gorge, rap on the roof and
your flup is unbu...

    BUTT (at the signal of his act which seems to sharpnel his
innermals menody, playing the spool of the little brown jog round the
wheel of her whang goes the millner). Buckily buckily, blodestained
boyne! Bimbambombumb. His snapper was shot in the Rumjar
Journaral. Why the gigls he lubbed beeyed him.

    TAFF (obliges with a two stop yogacoga sumphoty on the bones for
ivory girl and ebony boy). The balacleivka! Trovatarovitch! I trumble!
   BUTT (with the sickle of a scygthe but the humour of a hummer, O,
howorodies through his cholaroguled, fumfing to a fullfrength with this
wallowing olfact). Mortar martar tartar wartar! May his boules grow
wider so his skittles gets worse! The aged monad making a venture out
of the murder of investment. I seen him acting surgent what betwinks
the scimitar star and the ashen moon. By their lights shalthow throw
him! Piff paff for puffpuff and my pife for his cgar! The mlachy way for
gambling.

   [Up to this curkscraw bind an admirable verbivocovisual
presentment of the worldrenownced Caerholme Event has been being
given by The Irish Race and World. The huddled and aliven
stablecrashers have shared fleetfooted enthusiasm with the paddocks
dare and ditches tare while the mews was combing ground.
Hippohopparray helioscope flashed winsor places as the gates might
see. Meusdeus! That was (with burning briar) Mr Twomass Nohoholan
for their common contribe satisfunction in the purports of amusedment
telling the Verily Roverend Father Epiphanes shrineshriver of Saint
Dhorough's (in browne bomler) how (assuary as there's a bonum in
your osstheology!) Backlegs shirked the racing kenneldar. The saintly
scholarist's roastering guffalawd of nupersaturals holler at this
metanoic    excomologosis   tells   of   the   chestnut's   (once   again,
Wittyngtom!) absolutionally romptyhompty successfulness. A lot of
lasses and lads without damas or dads, but fresh and blued with
collecting boxes. One aught spare ones triflets, to be shut: it is
Coppingers for the children. Slippery Sam hard by them, physically
present howsomedever morally absent, was slooching about in his
knavish diamonds asking Gmax, Knox and the Dmuggies (a pinnance
for your toughts, turffers!) to deck the ace of duds. Tomtinker Tim,
howbeit, his unremitting retainer, (the seers are the seers of Samael but
the heers are the heers of Timoth) is in Boozer's Gloom, soalken steady
in his sulken tents. Baldawl the curse, baledale the day! And the frocks
of shick sheeples in their shummering insamples! You see: a chiefsmith,
semperal scandal stinkmakers, a middinest from the Casabianca and, of
course, Mr Fry. Barass! Pardon the inquisition, causas es quostas? It is
Da Valorem's Dominical Brayers. Why coif that weird hood? Because
among nosoever circusdances is to be apprehended the dustungwashed
poltronage of the lost Gabbarnaur-Jaggarnath. Pamjab! Gross
Jumpiter, whud was thud? Luckluckluckluck luckluckluck! It is the
Thousand to One Guinea-Gooseberry's Lipperfull Slipver Cup. Hold
hard, ridesiddle titelittle Pitsy Riley! Gurragrunch, gurragrunch! They
are at the turn of the fourth of the hurdles. By the hross of Xristos,
Holophullopopulace is a shote of excramation! Bumchub! Emancipator,
the Creman hunter (Major Hermyn C. Entwhistle) with dramatic effect
reproducing the form of famous sires on the scene of the formers
triumphs, is showing the eagle's way to Mr Whaytehayte's three buy
geldings Homo Made Ink, Bailey Beacon and Ratatuohy while Furstin
II and The Other Girl (Mrs 'Boss' Waters, Leavybrink) too early spring
dabbles, are showing a clean pairofhids to Immensipater. Sinkathinks to
oppen here! To this virgin's tuft, on this golden of evens! I never sought
of sinkathink. Our lorkmakor he is proformly annuysed. He is shinkly
thinkly shaking in his schayns. Sat will be off follteedee. This eeridreme
has being effered you by Bett and Tipp. Tipp and Bett, our swapstick
quackchancers, in From Topphole to Bottom of The Irish Race and
World.]

    TAFF (awary that the first sports report of Loudin Reginald has
now been afterthoughtfully colliberated by a saggind spurts flash, takes
the dipperend direction and, for tasing the tiomor of malaise after the
pognency of orangultonia, orients by way of Sagittarius towards Draco
on the Lour). And you collier carsst on him, the corsar, with Boyle,
Burke and Campbell, I'll gogemble on strangbones tomb. You had just
been cerberating a camp camp camp to Saint Sepulchre's march through
the armeemonds retreat with the boys all marshalled, scattering giant's
hail over the curseway, fellowed along the rout by the stenchions of the
corpse. Tell the coldspell's terroth! If you please, commeylad! Perfedes
Albionias! Think some ingain think, as Teakortairer sate over the
Galwegian caftan forewhen Orops and Aasas were chooldrengs and
micramacrees! A forward movement, Miles na Bogaleen, and despatch!

    BUTT (slinking his coatsleeves surdout over his squad mutton
shoulder so as to loop more life the jauntlyman as he scents the
anggreget yup behound their whole scoopchina's desperate noy's
totalage and explaining aposteriorly how awstooloo was valdesombre
belowes hero and he was in a greak esthate phophiar an erixtion on the
soseptuple side of him made spoil apriori his popoporportiums). Yass,
zotnyzor, I don't think I did not, pojr. Never you brother me for I scout
it, think you! Ichts nichts on nichts! Greates Schtschuptar! Me fol the
rawlawdy in the schpirrt of a schkrepz. Of all the quirasses and all the
qwehrmin in the tragedoes of those antiants their grandoper, that soun of
a gunnong, with his sabaothsopolettes, smooking his scandleloose at
botthends of him! Foinn duhans! I grandthinked after his obras after
another time about the itch in his egondoom he was legging
boldylugged from some pulversporochs and lyoking for a stooleazy for
to nemesisplotsch allafranka and for to salubrate himself with an
ultradungs heavenly mass at his base by a suprime pompship chorams
the perished popes, the reverend and allaverred cromlecks, and when I
heard his lewdbrogue reciping his cheap cheateary gospeds to sintry and
santry and sentry and suntry I thought he was only haftara having
afterhis brokeforths but be the homely Churopodvas I no sooner seen
aghist of his frighteousness then I was bibbering with vear a few versets
off fooling for fjorg for my fifth foot. Of manifest 'tis obedience and the.
Flute!

    TAFF (though the unglucksarsoon is giming for to git him, jotning
in, hoghly ligious, hapagodlap, like a soldierry sap, with a pique at his
cue and a tyr in his eye and a bond of his back and a croak in his cry as
did jolly well harm lean o'er him) Is not athug who would. Weepon,
weeponder, song of sorrowmon! Which goatheye and sheepskeer they
damnty well know. Papaist! Gambanman! Take the cawraidd's blow!
Yia! Your partridge's last!
    BUTT (giving his scimmianised twinge in acknuckledownedgment
of this cumulikick, strafe from the firetrench, studenly drobs led,
satoniseels ouchyotchy, he changecors induniforms as he is lefting the
gat out of the big: his face glows green, his hair greys white, his bleyes
bcome broon to suite his cultic twalette). But when I seeing him in his
oneship fetch along within hail that tourrible tall with his
nitshnykopfgoknob and attempting like a brandylogged rudeman
cathargic, lugging up and laiding down his livepelts so cruschinly like
Mebbuck at Messar and expousing his old skinful self tailtottom by
manurevring in open ordure to renewmurature with the cowruads in
their airish pleasantry I thanked he was recovering breadth from some
herdsquatters beyond the carcasses and I couldn't erver nerver to tell a
liard story not of I knew the prize if from lead or alimoney. But when I
got inoccupation of a full new of his old basemiddelism, in ackshan,
pagne pogne, by the veereyed lights of the stormtrooping clouds and in
the sheenflare of the battleaxes of the heroim and mid the shieldfails
awail of the bitteraccents of the sorafim and caught the pfierce tsmell of
his aurals, orankastank, a suphead setrapped, like Peder the Greste,
altipaltar, my bill it forsooks allegiance (gut bull it!) and, no lie is this, I
was babbeing and yetaghain bubbering, bibbelboy, me marrues me
shkewers me gnaas me fiet, tob tob tob beat it, solongopatom.
Clummensy if ever misused, must used you's now! But, meac Coolp,
Arram of Eirzerum, as I love our Deer Dirouchy, I confesses withould
pridejealice when I looked upon the Saur of all the Haurousians with the
weight of his arge fullin upon him from the travaillings of his tommuck
and rueckenased the fates of a bosser there was fear on me the sons of
Nuad for him and it was heavy he was for me then the way I immingled
my Irmenial hairmaierians ammongled his Gospolis fomiliours till,
achaura moucreas, I adn't the arts to.

    TAFF (as a marrer off act, prepensing how such waldmanns from
Burnias seduced country clowns, he is preposing barangaparang after
going knowing what he is doing after to see him pluggy well moidered
as a murder effect, you bet your blowie knife, before he doze soze,
sopprused though he is) Grot Zot! You hidn't the hurts? Vott Fonn!

    BUTT (hearing somrother sudly give tworthree peevish sniff snuff
snoores like govalise falseleep he waitawhishts to see might he stirs and
then goes on kuldrum like without asking for pepeace or anysing a
soul). Merzmard! I met with whom it was too late. My fate! O hate!
Fairwail! Fearwealing of the groan! And think of that when you smugs
to bagot.

    TAFF (who meanwhilome at yarn's length so as to put a nodje in
the poestcher, by wile of stoccan his hand and of rooma makin ber
getting umptyums gatherumed off the skattert, had been lavishing, lagan
on lighthouse, words of silent power, susu glouglou biribiri gongos,
upon the repleted speechsalver's innkeeping right which, thanks giveme
and naperied norms nonobstaclant, there can be little doubt, have
resulted in a momstchance ministring of another guidness, my good, to
see) Bompromifazzio! Shumpum for Pa-li-di and oukosouso for the
nipper dandy! Trink off this scup and be bladdy orafferteed! To bug at?
    BUTT (he whipedoff's his chimbley phot, as lips lovecurling to the
tongueopener, he takecups the communion of sense at the hands of the
foregiver of trosstpassers and thereinofter centelinnates that potifex
miximhost with haruspical hospedariaty proferring into his pauses
somewhot salt bacon). Theres scares knud in this gnarld warld a fully so
svend as dilates for the improvement of our foerses of nature by your
very ample solvent of referacting upon me like is boesen fiennd.

    [The other foregotthened abbosed in the Mullingaria are during this
swishingsight teilweisioned. How the fictionable world in Fruzian
Creamtartery is loading off heavy furses and affubling themselves with
muckinstushes. The neatschknee Novgolosh. How the spinach ruddocks
are being tatoovatted up for the second comings of antigreenst.
Hebeneros for Aromal Peace. How Alibey Ibrahim wisheths Bella Suora
to a holy cryptmahs while the Arumbian Knives Riders axecutes
devilances round the jehumispheure. Learn the Nunsturk. How Old
Yales boys is making rebolutions for the cunning New Yirls, never
elding, still begidding, never to mate to lend, never to ate selleries and
never to add soulleries and never to ant sulleries and never to aid
silleries with sucharow with sotchyouroff as Burkeley's Show's a
ructiongetherall. Phone for Phineal toomellow aftermorn and your
phumeral's a roselixion.]

    TAFF (now as he has been past the buckthurnstock from Peadhar
Piper of Colliguchuna, whiles they all are bealting pots to dubrin din
for old daddam dombstom to tomb and wamb humbs lumbs agamb,
glimpse agam, glance agen, rise up road and hive up hill, and find your
pollyvoulley foncey pitchin ingles in the parler). Since you are on for
versingrhetorish say your piece! How Buccleuch shocked the rosing
girnirilles. A ballet of Gasty Power. A hov and az ov and off like a gow!
And don't live out the sad of tearfs, piddyawhick! Not offgott affsang is
you, buthbach? Ath yetheredayth noth endeth, hay? Vaersegood! Buckle
to!     Sayyessik,   Ballygarry.    The     fourscore    soculums     are
watchyoumaycodding to cooll the skoopgoods blooff. Harkabuddy,
feign! Thingman placeyear howed wholst somwom shimwhir
tinkledinkledelled. Shinfine deed in the myrtle of the bog tway fainmain
stod op to slog, free bond men lay lurkin on. Tuan about whattinghim!
Fore sneezturmdrappen! 'Twill be a rpnice pschange, arrah, sir? Can you
come it, budd?

      BUTT (who in the cushlows of his goodsforseeking hoarth, ever
fondlinger of his pimple spurk, is a niallist of the ninth homestages, the
babybell in his baggutstract upper going off allatwanst, begad, lest he
should challenge himself, beygoad, till angush). Horrasure, toff! As said
as would. It was Colporal Phailinx first. Hittit was of another time, a
white horsday where the midril met the bulg, sbogom, roughnow along
about the first equinarx in the cholonder, on the plain of Khorason as
thou goest from the mount of Bekel, Steep Nemorn, elve hundred and
therety and to years how the krow flees end in deed, after a power of
skimiskes, blodidens and godinats of them, when we sight the beasts,
(hegheg whatlk of wraimy wetter!), moist moonful date man aver held
dimsdzey death with, and higheye was in the Reilly Oirish Krzerszonese
Milesia asundurst Sirdarthar Woolwichleagues, good tomkeys years
somewhile in Crimealian wall samewhere in Ayerland, during me
weeping stillstumms over the freshprosts of Eastchept and the dangling
garters of Marrowbone and daring my wapping stiltstunts on Bostion
Moss, old stile and new style and heave a lep onwards. And winn again,
blaguadargoos, or lues the day, plays goat, the banshee pealer, if
moskats knows whoss whizz, the great day and the druidful day come
San Patrisky and the grand day, the excellent fine splendorous long
agreeable toastworthy cylindrical day, go Sixt of the Ninth, the
heptahundread annam dammias that Hajizfijjiz ells me is and will and
was be till the timelag is in it that's told in the Bok of Alam to
columnkill all the prefacies of Erin gone brugk. But Icantenue. And
incommixtion. We was lowsome like till we'd took out after the dead
beats. So I begin to study and I soon show them day's reasons how to
give the cold shake to they blighty perishers and lay one over the beats.
All feller he look he call all feller come longa villa finish. Toumbalo,
how was I acclapadad! From them banjopeddlars on the raid. Gidding
up me anti vanillas and getting off the stissas me aunties. Boxerising
and coxerusing. And swiping a johnny dann sweept for to exercitise
myself neverwithstanding the topkats and his roaming cartridges,
orussheying and patronning, out all over Crummwiliam wall. Be the
why it was me who haw haw.
    TAFF (all for letting his tinder and lighting be put to beheiss in the
feuer and, while durblinly obasiant to the felicias of the skivis, still
smolking his fulvurite turfkish in the rooking pressance of laddios). Yaa
hoo how how, col? Whom battles joined no bottles sever! Worn't you
aid a comp?

    BUTT (in his difficoltous tresdobremient, he feels a bitvalike a
baddlefall of staot but falls a batforlake a borrlefull of bare). And me
awlphul omegrims! Between me rassociations in the postleadeny past
and me disconnections with aplompervious futules I've a boodle full of
maimeries in me buzzim and medears runs sloze, bleime, as I now with
platoonic leave recoil in (how the thickens they come back to one to
rust!) me misenary post for all them old boyars that's now boomaringing
in waulholler, me alma marthyrs. I dring to them, bycorn spirits
fuselaiding, and you cullies adjutant, even where its contentsed wody,
with absents wehrmuth. Junglemen in agleement, I give thee our greatly
swooren, Theoccupant that Rueandredful, the thrownfullvner and all our
royal devouts with the arrest of the whole inhibitance of Neuilands! One
brief mouth. And a velligoolapnow! Meould attashees the currgans, (if
they could get a kick at this time for all that's hapenced to us!) Cedric
said Gormleyson and Danno O'Dunnochoo and Conno O'Cannochar it is
this were their names for we were all under that manner barracksers on
Kong Gores Wood together, thurkmen three, with those khakireinettes,
our miladies in their toileries, the twum plumyumnietcies, Vjeras
Vjenaskayas, of old Djadja Uncken who was a great mark for jinking
and junking, up the palposes of womth and wamth, we war, and the
charme of their lyse brocade. For lispias harth a burm in eye but whem
it bames fire norone screeneth. Hulp, hulp, huzzars! Raise ras tryracy!
Freetime's free! Up Lancesters! Anathem!

    TAFF (who still senses that heavinscent houroines that entertrained
him who they were sinuorivals from the sunny Espionia but plied wopsy
with his wallets in thatthack of the bustle Bakerloo, (11.32), passing the
uninational truthbosh in smoothing irony over the multinotcheralled
infructuosities of his grinner set). The rib, the rib, the quean of
oldbyrdes, Sinya Sonyavitches! Your Rhoda Cockardes that are raday to
embrace our ruddy inflamtry world! In their ohosililesvienne
biribarbebeway. Till they've kinks in their tringers and boils on their
taws. Whor dor the pene lie, Mer Pencho? Ist dramhead countmortial or
gonorrhal stab? Mind your pughs and keaoghs, if you piggots, marsh!
Do the nut, dingbut! Be a dag! For zahur and zimmerminnes! Sing in
the chorias to the ethur:

    [In the heliotropical noughttime following a fade of transformed
Tuff and, pending its viseversion, a metenergic reglow of beaming Batt,
the bairdboard bombardment screen, if tastefully taut guranium satin,
tends to teleframe and step up to the charge of a light barricade. Down
the photoslope in syncopanc pulses, with the bitts bugtwug their teffs,
the missledhropes, glitteraglatteraglutt, borne by their carnier walve.
Spraygun rakes and splits them from a double focus: grenadite,
damnymite, alextronite, nichilite: and the scanning firespot of the
sgunners traverses the rutilanced illustred sunksundered lines. Shlossh!
A gaspel truce leaks out over the caeseine coatings. Amid a
fluorescence of spectracular mephiticism there caoculates through the
inconoscope stealdily a still, the figure of a fellowchap in the wohly
ghast, Popey O'Donoshough, the jesuneral of the russuates. The idolon
exhibisces the seals of his orders: the starre of the Son of Heaven, the
girtel of Izodella the Calottica, the cross of Michelides Apaleogos, the
latchet of Jan of Nepomuk, the puffpuff and pompom of Powther and
Pall, the great belt, band and bucklings of the Martyrology of Gorman.
It is for the castomercies mudwake surveice. The victar. Pleace to
notnoys speach above your dreadths, please to doughboys. Hll, smthngs
gnwrng wthth sprsnwtch! He blanks his oggles because he confesses to
all his tellavicious nieces. He blocks his nosoes because that he
confesses to everywheres he was always putting up his latest faengers.
He wollops his mouther with a sword of tusk in as because that he
confesses how opten he used be obening her howonton he used be
undering her. He boundles alltogotter his manucupes with his
pedarrests in asmuch as because that he confesses before all his
handcomplishies and behind all his comfoderacies. And (hereis cant
came back saying he codant steal no lunger, yessis, catz come buck
beques he caudant stail awake) he touched upon this tree of livings in
the middenst of the garerden for inasmuch as because that he confessed
to it on Hillel and down Dalem and in the places which the lepers
inhabit in the place of the stones and in pontofert jusfuggading amoret
now he come to think of it jolly well ruttengenerously olyovyover the ole
blucky shop. Pugger old Pumpey O'Dungaschiff! There will be a hen
collection of him after avensung on the feld of Hanar. Dumble down,
looties and gengstermen! Dtin, dtin, dtin, dtin!]

    BUTT (with a gisture expansive of Mr Lhugewhite Cadderpollard
with sunflawered beautonhole pulled up point blanck by mailbag
mundaynism at Oldbally Court though the hissindensity buck far of his
melovelance tells how when he was fast marking his first lord for
cremation the whyfe of his bothem was the very lad's thing to elter his
mehind). Prostatates, pujealousties! Dovolnoisers, prayshyous! Defense
in every circumstancias of deboutcheries no the chaste daffs! Pack
pickets, pioghs and kughs to be palseyputred! Be at the peme, prease, of
not forgetting or mere betoken yourself to hother prace! Correct me,
pleatze commando, for cossakes but I abjure of it. No more
basquibezigues for this pole aprican! With askormiles' eskermillas. I had
my billyfell of duckish delights the whole pukny time on rawmeots and
juliannes with their lambstoels in my kiddeneys and my ramsbutter in
their sassenacher ribs, knee her, do her and trey her, when th'osirian
cumb dumb like the whalf on the fiord and we preying players and
pinching peacesmokes, troupkers tomiatskyns all, for Father Petrie
Spence of Parishmoslattary to go and leave us and the crimsend daun to
shellalite on the darkumen (scene as signed, Slobabogue), feeding and
sleeping on the huguenottes (the snuggest spalniel's where the lieon's
tame!) and raiding revolations over the allbegeneses (sand us and saint
us and sound as agun!). Yet still in all, spit for spat, like we chantied on
Sunda schoon, every warson wearrier kaddies a komnate in his
schnapsack and unlist I am getting foegutfulls of the rugiments of
savaliged wildfire I was gamefellow willmate and send us victorias with
nowells and brownings, dumm, sneak and curry, and all the fun I had in
that fanagan's week. A strange man wearing abarrel. And here's a gift of
meggs and teggs. And as I live by chipping nortons. And 'tis iron fits the
farmer, ay. Arcdesedo! Renborumba! Then were the hellscyown days
for our fellows, the loyal leibsters, and we was the redugout
rawrecruitioners, praddies three and prettish too, a wheeze we has in our
waynward islands, wee engrish, one long blue streak, jisty and pithy af
durck rosolun, with hand to hand as Homard Kayenne was always
jiggilyjugging about in his wendowed courage when our woos with the
wenches went wined for a song, tsingirillies' zyngarettes, while
Woodbine Willie, so popiular with the poppyrossies, our Chorney
Choplain, blued the air. Sczlanthas! Banzaine! Bissbasses! S.
Pivorandbowl. And we all tuned in to hear the topmast noviality. Up the
revels drown the rinks and almistips allround! Paddy Bonhamme he
vives! Encore! And tig for tag Togatogtug. My droomodose days Y
loved you abover all the strest. Blowhole brasshat and boy with his
boots off and the butch of our bunch and all. It was buckoo bonzer,
beleeme. I was a bare prive without my doglegs but I did not give to one
humpenny dump, wingh or wangh, touching those thusengaged slavey
generales of Tanah Kornalls, the meelisha's deelishas, pronouncing their
very flank movemens in sunpictorsbosk. Baghus the whatwar! I could
always take good cover of myself and, eyedulls or earwakers, preyers
for rain or cominations, I did not care three tanker's hoots, ('sham! hem!
or chaffit!) for any feelings from my lifeprivates on their reptrograd
leanins because I have Their Honours booth my respectables soeurs
assistershood off Lyndhurst Terrace, the puttih Misses Celana Dalems,
and she in vinting her angurr can belle the troth on her alliance and I
know His Heriness, my respeaktoble medams culonelle on Mellay
Street, Lightnints Gundhur Sawabs, and they would never as the aimees
of servation let me down. Not on your bludger life, touters! No peeping,
pimpadoors! And, by Jova I never went wrong nor let him doom till,
risky wark rasky wolk, at the head of the wake, up come stumblebum
(ye olde cottemptable!), his urssian gemenal, in his scutt's rudes
unreformed and he went before him in that nemcon enchelonce with the
same old domstoole story and his upleave the fallener as is greatly to be
petted (whitesides do his beard!) and I seen his brichashert offensive
and his boortholomas vadnhammaggs vise a vise them scharlot runners
and how they gave love to him and how he took the ward from us
(odious the fly fly flurtation of his him and hers! Just mairmaid
maddeling it was it he was!) and, my oreland for a rolvever, sord, by the
splunthers of colt and bung goes the enemay the Percy rally got me,
messgèr, (as true as theirs an Almagnian Gothabobus!) to blow the
grand off his aceupper. Thistake it's meest! And after meath the
dulwich. We insurrectioned and, be the procuratress of the hory
synnotts, before he could tell pullyirragun to parrylewis, I shuttm,
missus, like a wide sleever! Hump to dump! Tumbleheaver!
    TAFF (camelsensing that sonce they have given bron a nuhlan the
volkar boastsung is heading to sea vermelhion but too wellbred not to
ignore the umzemlianess of this rifal's preceedings, in an effort towards
autosotorisation, effaces himself in favour of the idiology alwise
behounding his lumpy hump off homosodalism which means that if he
has lain amain to lolly his liking-cabronne! - he may pops lilly a young
one to his herth - combrune -) Oholy rasher, I'm believer! And Oho
bullyclaver of ye, bragadore-gunneral! The grand ohold spider! It is a
name to call to him Umsturdum Vonn! Ah, you were shutter reshottus
and sieger besieged. Aha race of fiercemarchands counterination oho of
shorpshoopers.

    BUTT (miraculising into the Dann Deafir warcry, his bigotes
bristling, as, jittinju triggity shittery pet, he shouts his thump and feeh
fauh foul finngures up the heighohs of their ahs!) Bluddymuddymuzzle!
The buckbeshottered! He'll umbozzle no more graves nor home nor
haunder, lou garou, for gayl geselles in dead men's hills! Kaptan
(backsights to his bared!), His Cumbulent Embulence, the frustate
fourstar Russkakruscam, Dom Allah O'Khorwan, connundurumchuff.

    TAFF (who, asbestas can, wiz the healps of gosh and his bluzzid
maikar, has been sulphuring to himsalves all the pungataries of sin
praktice in failing to furrow theogonies of the dommed). Trisseme, the
mangoat! And the name of the Most Marsiful, the Aweghost, the
Gragious one! In sobber sooth and in souber civiles? And to the
dirtiment of the curtailment of his all of man? Notshoh?
   BUTT (maomant scoffin, but apoxyomenously deturbaned but thems
bleachin banes will be after making a bashman's haloday out of the
euphorious hagiohygiecynicism of his die and be diademmed). Yastsar!
In sabre tooth and sobre saviles! Senonnevero! That he leaves nyet is
my grafe. He deared me to it and he dared me do it, and bedattle I
didaredonit as Cocksnark of Killtork can tell and Ussur Ursussen of the
viktaurious onrush with all the rattles in his arctic! As bold and as
madhouse a bull in a meadows. Knout Knittrick Kinkypeard! Olefoh,
the sourd of foemoe times! Unknun! For when meseemim, and
tolfoklokken rolland allover ourloud's lande, beheaving up that sob of
tunf for to claimhis, for to wollpimsolff, puddywhuck. Ay, and
untuoning his culothone in an exitous erseroyal Deo Jupto. At that
instullt to Igorladns! Prronto! I gave one dobblenotch and I ups with my
crozzier. Mirrdo! With my how on armer and hits leg an arrow
cockshock rockrogn. Sparro!

   [The abnihilisation of the etym by the grisning of the grosning of the
grinder of the grunder of the first lord of hurtreford expolodotonates
through Parsuralia with an ivanmorinthorrorumble fragoromboassity
amidwhiches general uttermosts confussion are perceivable moletons
skaping     with      mulicules      which      coventry      plumpkins
fairlygosmotherthemselves in the Landaunelegants of Pinkadindy.
Similar scenatas are projectilised from Hullulullu, Bawlawayo,
empyreal Raum and mordern Atems. They were precisely the twelves of
clocks, noon minutes, none seconds. At someseat of Oldanelang's
Konguerrig, by dawnybreak in Aira.]

    TAFF (skimperskamper, his wools gatherings all over cromlin what
with the birstol boys artheynes and is it her tour and the crackery of the
fullfour fivefirearms and the crockery of their damdam domdom
chumbers). Wharall thubulbs uptheaires! Shattamovick?

    BUTT (pulling alast stark daniel with alest doog at doorak while
too greater than pardon painfully the issue of his mouth diminuendoing,
vility of vilities, he becomes, allasvitally, faint). Shurenoff! Like Faun
MacGhoul!

    BUTT and TAFF (desprot slave wager and foeman feodal
unsheckled, now one and the same person, their fight upheld to right for
a wee while being baffled and tottered, umbraged by the shadow of Old
Erssia's magisquammythical mulattomilitiaman, the living by owning
over the surfers of the glebe whose sway craven minnions had caused to
revile, as, too foul for hell, under boiling Mauses' burning brand, he
falls by Goll's gillie, but keenheartened by the circuminsistence of the
Parkes O'Rarelys in a hurdly gurdly Cicilian concertone of their
fonngeena barney brawl, shaken everybothy's hands, while S. E.
Morehampton makes leave to E. N. Sheilmartin after Meetinghouse
Lanigan has embaraced Vergemout Hall, and, without falter or mormor
or blathrehoot of sophsterliness, pugnate the pledge of fiannaship, dook
to dook, with a commonturn oudchd of fest man and best man
astoutsalliesemoutioun palms it off like commodity tokens against a
cococancancacacanotioun). When old the wormd was a gadden and
Anthea first unfoiled her limbs wanderloot was the way the wood
wagged where opter and apter were samuraised twimbs. They had their
mutthering ivies and their murdhering idies and their mouldhering iries
in that muskat grove but there'll be bright plinnyflowers in Calomella's
cool bowers when the magpyre's babble towers scorching and
screeching from the ravenindove. If thees lobed the sex of his head and
mees ates the seep of his traublers he's dancing figgies to the spittle side
and shoving outs the soord. And he'll be buying buys and go gulling
gells with his flossim and jessim of carm, silk and honey while
myandthys playing lancifer lucifug and what's duff as a bettle for usses
makes coy cosyn corollanes' moues weeter to wee. So till butagain
budly shoots thon rising germinal let bodley chow the fatt of his anger
and badley bide the toil of his tubb.

    [The pump and pipe pingers are ideally reconstituted. The putther
and bowls are peterpacked up. All the presents are determining as
regards for the future the howabouts of their past absences which they
might see on at hearing could they once smell of tastes from touch. To
ought find a values for. The must overlistingness. When ex what is
ungiven. As ad where. Stillhead. Blunk.]

    Shutmup. And bud did down well right. And if he sung dumb in his
glass darkly speech lit face to face on allaround.

    Vociferagitant. Viceversounding. Namely, Abdul Abulbul Amir or
Ivan Slavansky Slavar. In alldconfusalem. As to whom the major
guiltfeather pertained it was Hercushiccups' care to educe. Beauty's bath
she's bound to bind beholders and pride, his purge, has place appoint in
penance and the law's own libel lifts and lames the low with the lofty.
Be of the housed! While the Hersy Hunt they harrow the hill for to rout
them rollicking rogues from, rule those racketeer romps from, rein their
rockery rides from. Rambling.

    Nightclothesed, arooned, the conquerods sway. After their battle thy
fair bosom.

    — That is too tootrue enough in Solidan's Island as in Moltern
Giaourmany and from the Amelakins off to date back to land of engined
Egypsians, assented from his opening before his inlookers of where an
oxmanstongue stalled stabled the wellnourished one, lord of the seven
days, overlord of sats and suns, the sat of all the suns which are in the
ring of his system of the sats of his sun, god of the scuffeldfallen
skillfilledfelon, who (he contaimns) hangsters, who (he constrains)
hersirrs, a gain changful, a mintage vaster, heavy on shirts, lucky with
shifts, the topside humpup stummock atween his showdows fellah,
Misto Teewiley Spillitshops, who keepeth watch in Khummer-Phett,
whose spouse is An-Lyph, the dog's bladder, warmer of his couch in
fore. We all, for whole men is lepers, have been nobbut wonterers in
that chill childerness which is our true name after the allfaulters (mug's
luck to em!) and, bespeaking of love and lie detectors in venuvarities,
whateither the drugs truth of it, was there an iota of from the faust to the
lost. And that is at most redoubtedly an overthrew of each and
ilkermann of us, I persuade myself, before Gow, gentlemen, so true as
this are my kopfinpot astrode on these is my boardsoldereds.

   It sollecited, grobbling hummley, his roundhouse of seven orofaces,
of all, guiltshouters or crimemummers, to be sayd by, codnops, advices
for, free of gracies, scamps encloded, competitioning them, if they had
steadied Jura or when they had raced Messafissi, husband of your
wifebetter or bestman botchalover of you yourself, how comes ever a
body in our taylorised world to selve out thishis, whither it gives a
primeum nobilees for our notomise or naught, the farst wriggle from the
ubivence, whereom is man, that old offender, nother man, wheile he is
asame. And fullexampling. The pints in question. With some byspills.
And sicsecs to provim hurtig. Soup's on!

   — A time. And a find time. Whenin aye was a kiddling. And the
tarikies held sowansopper. Let there beam a frishfrey. And they sodhe
gudhe rudhe brodhe wedhe swedhe medhe in the kanddledrum. I have
just (let us suppraise) been reading in a (suppressed) book — it is
notwithstempting by meassures long and limited — the latterpress is
eminently legligible and the paper, so he eagerly seized upon, has
scarsely been buttered in works of previous publicity wholebeit in
keener notcase would I turf aside for pastureuration. Packen paper
paineth whomto is sacred scriptured sign. Who straps it scraps it that
might, if ashed, have healped. Enough, however, have I read of it, like
my good bedst friend, to augur in the hurry of the times that it will
cocommend the widest circulation and a reputation coextensive with its
merits when inthrusted into safe and pious hands upon so edifying a
mission as it, I can see, as is his. It his ambullished with expurgative
plates, replete in information and accampaigning the action passiom,
slopbang, whizzcrash, boomarattling from burst to past, as I have just
been seeing, with my warmest venerections, of a timmersome townside
upthecountrylifer, (Guard place the town!) allthose everwhalmed upon
that preposterous blank seat, before the wordcraft of this early
woodcutter, a master of vignettiennes and our findest grobsmid among
all their orefices, (and, shukar in chowdar, so splunderdly English!) Mr
Aubeyron Birdslay. Chubgoodchob, arsoncheep and wellwillworth a
triat! Bismillafoulties. But the hasard you asks is justly ever behind his
meddle throw! Those sad pour sad forengistanters, dastychappy
dustyrust! Chaichairs. It is that something, awe, aurorbean in that
fellow, hamid and damid, (did he have but Hugh de Brassey's beardslie
his wear mine of ancient guised) which comequeers this anywhat
perssian which we, owe, realisinus with purups a dard of pene. There is
among others pleasons whom I love and which are favourests to mind,
one which I have pushed my finker in for the movement and, but for my
sealring is none to hand I swear, she is highly catatheristic and there is
another which I have fombly fongered freequuntly and, when my signet
is on sign again I swear, she is deeply sangnificant. Culpo de Dido! Ars
we say in the classies. Kunstful, we others said. What ravening shadow!
What dovely line! Not the king of this age could richlier eyefeast in
oreillental longuardness with alternate nightjoys of a thousand kinds but
one kind. A shahrryar cobbler on me when I am lying! And whilst
(when I doot my sliding panel and I hear cawcaw) I have been idylly
turmbing over the loose looves leaflefts jaggled casuallty on the
lamatory, as is my this is, as I must commit my lips to make misface for
misfortune, often, so far as I can chance to recollect from the some
farnights ago, (so dimsweet is that selvischdischdienence of to not to be
able to be obliged to have to hold further anything than a stone his
throw's fruit's fall!) when I, if you wil excuse for me this informal
leading down of illexpressibles, enlivened toward the Author of Nature
by the natural sins liggen gobelimned theirs before me, (how
differended with the manmade Eonochs Cunstuntonopolies!), weathered
they be of a general golf stature, assasserted, or blossomly emblushing
thems elves underneed of some howthern folleys, am entrenched up
contemplating of myself, wiz my naked I, for relieving purposes in our
trurally virvir vergitabale (garden) I sometimes, maybe, what has justly
said of old Flannagan, a wake from this or huntsfurwards, with some
shock (shell I so render it?) have (when I ope my shylight window and I
see coocoo) a notion quiet involuptary of that I am cadging hapsnots as
at murmurrandoms of distend renations from ficsimilar phases or
dugouts in the behindscenes of our earthwork (what rovining shudder!
what deadly loom!) as this is, at no spatial time processly which regards
to concrude chronology about which in fact, at spite of I having belittled
myself to my gay giftname of insectarian, happy burgages abeyance
would make homesweetstown hopeygoalucrey, my mottu propprior, as I
claim, cad's truck, I coined, I am highly pelaged and deeply gluttened to
mind hindmost hearts to see by their loudest reports from my
threespawn bottery parts (shsh!) that, colombophile and corvinophobe
alike, when I have remassed me, my travellingself, as from Magellanic
clouds, after my contractual expenditures, through the perofficies of
merelimb, I, my good grief, I am, I am big altoogooder.

    He beached the bark of his tale; and set to husband and vine: and the
harpermaster told all the living conservancy, know Meschiameschianah,
how that win a gain was in again. Flying the Perseoroyal. Withal
aboarder, padar and madar, hal and sal, the sens of Ere with the duchtars
of Iran. Amick amack amock in a mucktub. Qith the tou loulous and the
gryffygryffygryffs, at Fenegans Wick, the Wildemanns. Washed up
whight and deliveried rhight. Loud lauds to his luckhump and bejetties
on jonahs! And they winxed and wanxed like baillybeacons. Till we
woksed up oldermen.

    From whose plultibust preaggravated, by baskatchairch theologies
(there werenighn on thaurity herouns in that alraschil arthouducks
draken), they were whoalike placed to say, in the matters off ducomans
nonbar one, with bears' respects to him and bulls' acknowledgments
(come on now, girls! lead off, O cara, whichever won of you wins! The
two Gemuas and Jane Agrah and Judy Tombuys!) disassembling and
taking him apart, the slammocks, with discrimination for his maypole
and a rub in passing over his hump, drogueries inaddendance, frons,
fesces and frithstool: 1) he hade to die it, the beetle, 2) he didhithim self,
hod's fush, 3) all ever the pelican huntered with truly fond bullpen
backthought since his toork human life where his personal low outhired
his taratoryism, the orenore under the selfhide of his bessermettle, was
forsake in his chiltern and lumbojumbo, 4) he was like Fintan fore flood
and after sometimes too damned merely often on the saved side, saw he
was, 5) regarding to prussyattes or quazzyverzing he wassand no better
than he would have been before he could have been better than what he
warrant after, 6) blood, musk or haschish, as coked, diamoned or
penceloid, and bleaching him naclenude from all cohlorine matter, down
to a boneash bittstoff, he's, tink fors tank, the same old dustamount on
the    same   old tincoverdull baubleclass, totstittywinktosser        and
bogusbagwindburster, whether fitting tyres onto Danelope boys or
fluttering flaus for laurettas, whatever the bucket brigade and the plug
party says, touchant Arser of the Rum Tipple and his camelottery and
lyonesslooting but with a layaman's brutstrenth, by Jacohob and Esahur
and the all saults or all sallies, what we warn to hear, jeff, is the woods
of chirpsies cries to singaloo sweecheeriode and sock him up, the
oldcant rogue.

      Group A.

      You have jest (a ham) beamed listening through (a ham pig) his
haulted excerpt from John Whiston's fiveaxled production, The Coach
With The Six Insides, from the Tales of Yore of the times gone by
before there was a hofdking or a hoovthing or a pinginapoke in Oreland,
all sould. Goes Tory by Eeric Whigs is To Become Tintinued in
Fearson's Nightly in the Lets All Wake Brickfaced In Lucan.
Lhirondella, jaunty lhirondella! With tirra lirra rondinelles, atantivy we
go!

      Attention! Stand at!! Ease!!!

      We are now diffusing among our lovers of this sequence (to you! to
you!) the dewfolded song of the naughtingels (Alys! Alysaloe!) from
their sheltered positions, in rosescenery haydyng, on the heather side of
waldalure, Mount Saint John's, Jinnyland, whither our allies winged by
duskfoil from Mooreparque, swift sanctuary seeking, after Sunsink gang
(Oiboe! Hitherzither! Almost dotty! I must dash!) to pour their peace in
partial (floflo floreflorence), sweetishsad lightandgayle, twittwin
twosingwoolow. Let everie sound of a pitch keep still in resonance,
jemcrow, jackdaw, prime and secund with their terce that whoe
betwides them, now full theorbe, now dulcifair, and when we press of
pedal (sof!) pick out and vowelise your name. A mum. You pere
Golazy, you mere Bare and you Bill Heeny, and you Smirky Dainty
and, more beethoken, you wheckfoolthenairyans with all your
badchthumpered peanas! We are gluckglucky in our being so far
fortunate that, bark and bay duol with Man Goodfox inchimings having
ceased to the moment, so allow the clinkars of our nocturnefield, night's
sweetmoztheart, their Carmen Sylvae, my quest, my queen. Lou must
wail to cool me airly! Coil me curly, warbler dear! May song it flourish
(in the underwood), in chorush, long make it flourish (in the Nut, in the
Nutsky) till thorush! Secret Hookup.
    — Roguenaar Loudbrags, that soddy old samph! How high is vuile,
var?

    To which yes he did, capt, that was the answer.

    — And his shartshort trooping its colours! We knows his
ventruquulence.

    Which that that rang ripprippripplying.

    — Bulbul, bulbulone! I will shally. Thou shalt willy. You wouldnt
should as youd remesmer. I hypnot. 'Tis golden sickle's hour. Holy
moon priestess, we'd love our grappes of mistellose! Moths the matter?
Pschtt! Tabarins comes. To fell our fairest. O gui, O gui! Salam, salms,
salaum! Carolus! O indeed and we ware! And hoody crow was ere. I
soared from the peach and Missmolly showed her pear too, onto three
and away. Whet the bee as to deflowret greendy grassies yellowhorse.
Kematitis, cele our erdours! Did you aye, did you eye, did you everysee
suchaway, suchawhy, eeriewhigg airywhugger? Even to the extremity
of the world? Dingoldell! The enormanous his, our littlest little! Wee
wee, that long alancey one! Let sit on this anthill for our frilldress talk
after this day of making blithe inveiled the heart before our groatsupper
serves to us Panchomaster and let harleqwind play peeptomine up all
our colombinations! Wins won is nought, twigs too is nil, tricks trees
makes nix, fairs fears stoops at nothing. And till Arthur comes againus
and sen peatrick's he's reformed we'll pose him together a piece, a pace.
Shares in guineases! There's lovely the sight! Surey me, man weepful!
Big Seat, you did hear? And teach him twisters in tongue irish. Pat lad
may goh too. Quicken, aspen; ash and yew; willow, broom with oak for
you. And move your tellabout. Not nice is that, limpet lady! Spose we
try it promissly. Love all. Naytellmeknot tennis! Taunt me treattening!
But do now say to Mr Eustache! Ingean mingen has to hear. Whose
joint is out of jealousy now? Why, heavilybody's evillyboldy's. Hopping
Gracius, onthy ovful! O belessk mie, what a nerve! How a mans in his
armor we nurses know. Wingwong welly, pitty pretty Nelly! Some
Poddy pitted in, will anny petty pullet out? Call Kitty Kelly! Kissykitty
Killykelly! What a nossowl buzzard! But what a neats ung gels!

    Here all the leaves alift aloft, full o'liefing, fell alaughing over
Ombrellone and his parasollieras with their black thronguards from the
County Shillelagh. Ignorant invincibles, innocents immutant! Onzel
grootvatter Lodewijk is onangonamed before the bridge of primerose
and his twy Isas Boldmans is met the blueybells near Dandeliond. We
think its a gorsedd shame, these godoms. A lark of limonladies! A lurk
of orangetawneymen! You're backleg wounted, budkley mister, bester
of the boyne!

    And they leaved the most leavely of leaftimes and the most
folliagenous till there came the marrer of mirth and the jangtherapper of
all jocolarinas and they were as were they never ere. Yet had they
laughtered, one on other, undo the end and enjoyed their laughings
merry was the times when so grant it High Hilarion us may too!

    Cease, prayce, storywalkering around with gestare romanoverum he
swinking about is they think and plan unrawil what.
      Back to Droughty! The water of the face has flowed.

      The all of them, the sowriegueuxers, blottyeyed boys, in that pig's
village smoke, a sixdigitarian legion on druid circle, the Clandibblon
clam cartel, then pulled out and came off and rally agreed them, roasted
malts with toasted burleys, in condomnation of his totomptation and for
the duration till his repepulation, upon old nollcromforemost ironsides,
as camnabel chieftain, since, as Sammon trowed to explain to summon,
seeing that, as he had contracted out of islands empire, he might as
coolly have rolled to school call, tarponturboy, a grampurpoise, the
manyfathom brinegroom with the fortyinch bride, out of the cuptin
klanclord kettle auction like the soldr of a britsh he was bound to be and
become till the sea got him whilask, from maker to misses and what he
gave was as a pattern, he, that hun of a horde, is a finn as she, his tent
wife, is a lap, at home on a steed, abroad by the fire (to say nothing of
him      having   done    whatyouknow      howyousaw        whenyouheard
whereyouwot, the kenspeckled souckar, generose as cocke, greediguss
with garzelle, uprighter of age and most umbrasive of yews all, under
heaviest corpsus exemption) and whoasever spit her in howsoever's
fondling saving her keepers that mould the bould she sould to hould the
wine that wakes the barley, the peg in his pantry to hold the heavyache
off his heart. The droll delight of deemsterhood, a win from the wood to
bond. Like the bright lamps, Thamamahalla, yearin out yearin.
Auspicably suspectable but in expectancy of respectableness. From dirty
flock bedding, drip dropping through the ceiling, with two sisters of
charities on the front steps and three evacuan cleansers at the back gaze,
single box and pair of chairs (suspectable), occasionally and
alternatively used by husband when having writing to do in connection
with equitable druids and friendly or other societies through periods of
dire     want   with   comparative   plenty   (thunderburst,    ravishment,
dissolution and providentiality) to a sofa allbeit of hoarsehaar with
Amodicum cloth, hired payono, still playing off, used by the youngsters
for czurnying out oldstrums, three bedrooms upastairs, of which one
with fireplace (aspectable), with greenhouse in prospect (particularly
perspectable).

       And you, when you kept at Dulby, were you always (for that time
only) what we knew how when we (from that point solely) were you
know where? There you are! And why? Why, hitch a cock eye, he was
snapped on the sly upsadaisying coras pearls out of the pie when all the
perts in princer street set up their tinker's humn, (the rann, the rann, that
keen of old bards), with them newnesboys pearcin screaming off their
armsworths. The boss made dovesandraves out of his bucknesst while
herself wears the bowler's hat in her bath. Deductive Almayne Rogers
disguides his voice, shetters behind hoax chestnote from exexive. Heat
wives rasing. They jest keeps rosing. He jumps leaps rizing. Howlong!

       You known that tom? I certainly know. Is their bann bothstiesed?
Saddenly now. Has they bane reneemed? Soothinly low. Does they
ought to buy the papelboy when he footles up their suit? He's their mark
to foil the flouter and they certainty owe.
    He sprit in his phiz (baccon!). He salt to their bis (pudden!). He
toockled her palam (so calam is solom!). And he suked their friends'
leave (bonnick lass, fair weal!)

    — Guilty but fellows culpows! It was felt by me sindeade, that
submerged doughdoughty doubleface told waterside labourers. But
since we for athome's health have chanced all that, the wild whips, the
wind ships, the wonderlost for world hips, unto their foursquare trust
prayed in aid its plumptylump piteousness which, when it turtled around
seeking a thud of surf, spake to approach from inherdoff trisspass
through minxmingled hair. Though I may have hawked it, said, and
selled my how hot peas after theactrisscalls from my imprecurious
position and though achance I could have emptied a pan of backslop
down drain by whiles of dodging a rere from the middenprivet
appurtenant thereof, salving the presents of the board of wumps and
pumps, I am ever incalpable, where release of prisonals properly is
concerned, of unlifting upfallen girls wherein dangered from them in
thereopen out of unadulteratous bowery, with those hintering influences
from an angelsexonism. It was merely my barely till their oh offs.
Missaunderstaid. Meggy Guggy's giggag. The code's proof! The rebald
danger with they who would bare whiteness against me I dismissem
from the mind of good. He can tell such as story to the Twelfth Maligns
that my first was a nurssmaid and her fellower's a willbe perambulatrix.
There are twingty to twangty too thews and leathermail coatschemes
penparing to hostpost for it valinnteerily with my valued fofavour to the
post puzzles deparkment with larch parchels' of presents for future
branch offercings. The green approve the raid! Shaum Baum's bode he
is amustering in the groves while his shool comes merging along! Want
I put myself in their kirtlies I were ayearn to leap with them and show
me too bisextine. Dear and lest I forget mergers and bow to you low,
marchers! Attemption! What a mazing month of budsome misses they
are making, so wingtywish to flit beflore their kin! Attonsure! Ears to
hears! The skall of a gall (for every dime he yawpens that momouth you
could park your ford in it) who has papertreated him into captivities
with his inside man by a hocksheat of starvision for an avragetopeace of
parchment, cooking up his lenses to be my apoclogypst, the recreuter of
conscraptions, let him be asservent to Kinahaun! For (peace peace
perfectpeace!) I have abwaited me in a water of Elin and I have placed
my reeds intectis before the Registower of the perception of tribute in
the hall of the city of Analbe. How concerns any merryaunt and
hworsoever gravesobbers it is perensempry sex of fun to help a dazzle
off the othour. What for Mucias and Gracias may the duvlin rape the
handsomst! And the whole mad knightmayers' nest! Tunpother, prison
and plotch! If Y shoulden somewhat, well, I am able to owe it, hearth
and chemney easy. They seeker for vannflaum all worldins merkins. I'll
eager make lyst turpidump undher arkens. Basast! And if my litigimate
was well to wrenn tigtag cackling about it, like the sally berd she is, to
abery ham in the Cutey Strict, (I shall call upon my first among my lost
of lyrars beyond a jingoobangoist, to overcast her) dismissing
mundamanu all the riflings of her victuum gleaner (my old chuck! she
drakes me druck! turning out, gay at ninety!) and well shoving off a
boastonmess like lots wives does over her handpicked hunsbend, as she
would be calling, well, for further oil mircles upon all herwayferer gods
and reanouncing my deviltries as was I a locally person of caves until I
got my purchase on her firmforhold I am, I like to think, by their
sacreligion of daimond cap daimond, confessedly in my baron
gentilhomme to the manhor bourne till ladiest day as panthoposopher, to
have splet for groont a peer of bellows like Bacchulus shakes a rousing
guttural at any old cerpaintime by peaching (allsole we are not
amusical) the warry warst against myself in the defile as a lieberretter
sebaiscopal of these mispeschyites of the first virginial water who,
without an auction of biasement from my part, with gladyst tone
ahquickyessed in it, overhowe and underwhere, the totty lolly poppy
flossy conny dollymaukins! Though I heave a coald on my bauck and
am could up to my eres hoven sametimes I used alltides to be aswarmer
for the meekst and the graced. You are not going to not. You might be
threeabreasted wholenosing at a whallhoarding from our Don Amir
anent villayets prostatution precisingly kuschkars tarafs and it could be
double densed uncounthest hour of allbleakest age with a bad of wind
and a barran of rain, nompos mentis like Novus Elector, what with his
Marx and their Groups, yet did a doubt, should a dare, were to you, you
would do and dhamnk me, shenker, dhumnk you. Skunk. And fare with
me to share with me. Hinther and thonther, hant by hont. By where
dauvening shedders down whose rovely lanes. As yose were and as yese
is. Sure and you would, Mr Mac Gurk! Be sure and you would, Mr
O'Duane! To be sure and you would so, Mr MacElligut! Wod you nods?
Mom mom. No mum has the rod to pud a stub to the lurch of amotion.
My little love apprencisses, my dears, the estelles, van Nessies von
Nixies voon der pool, which I had a reyal devouts for yet was it marly
lowease or just a feel with these which olderman K.K. Alwayswelly he
is showing ot the fullnights for my palmspread was gav to a
parsleysprig, the curliest weedeen old ocean coils around, so spruce a
spice for salthorse, sonnies, and as tear to the thrusty as Taylor's Spring,
when aftabournes, when she was look like a little cheayat chilled (Oh
sard! ah Mah!) by my tide impracing, as Beacher seath, and all the
colories fair fled from my folced cheeks! Popottes, where you canceal
me you mayst forced guage my bribes. Wickedgapers, I appeal against
the light! A nexistence of vividence! Panto, boys, is on a looser inloss;
ballet, girls, suppline thrown tights. I have wanted to thank you such a
long time so much now. Thank you. Sir, kindest of bottleholders and
very dear friend, among our hearts of steel, froutiknow, it will befor
you, me dare beautiful young soldier, winninger nor anyour of
rudimental moskats, before you go to mats, you who have watched your
share with your sockboule sodalists on your buntad nogs at our love
tennis squats regatts, suckpump, when on with the balls did disserve the
fain, my goldrush gainst her silvernetss, to say, biguidd, for the love of
goddess and perthanow as you reveres your one mothers, mitsch for
matsch, and while I reveal thus my deepseep daughter which was
bourne up pridely out of medsdreams unclouthed when I was pillowing
in my brime (of Saturnay Eve, how now, woren't we't?), to see, I say,
whoahoa, in stay of execution in re Milcho Melekmans, increaminated,
what you feel, oddrabbit, upon every strong ground you have ever taken
up, by bitterstiff work or battonstaff play, with assault of turk against a
barrakraval of grakeshoots, e'en tho' Jambuwel's defecalties is Terry
Shimmyrag's upperturnity, if that is grace for the grass what is balm for
the bramblers, as it is as it is, that I am the catasthmatic old ruffin
sippahsedly improctor to be seducint trovatellas, the dire daffy
damedeaconesses, like (why sighs the sootheesinger) the lilliths oft I
feldt, and, when booboob brutals and cautiouses only aims at the oggog
hogs in the humand, then, (Houtes, Blymey and Torrenation, upkurts
and scotchem!) I'll tall tale tell croon paysecurers, sowill nuggets and
nippers, that thash on me stumpen blows the gaff off mombition and thit
thides or marse makes a good dayle to be shattat. Fall stuff.

       His rote in ere, afstef, was.

       And dong wonged Magongty till the bombtomb of the warr,
thrusshed in his whole soort of cloose.

       Whisht who wooed in Weald, bays of Bawshaw binding. The desire
of Miriam is the despair of Marian as Joh Joseph's beauty is Jacq Jacob's
grief. Brow, tell nun; eye, feign sad; mouth, sing mim. Look at Lokman!
Whatbetween the cupgirls and the platterboys. And he grew back into
his grossery baseness: and for all his grand remonstrance: and there you
are.
    Here endeth chinchinatibus with have speak finish. With a haygue
for a halt on a pouncefoot panse. Pink, pleas pink, two pleas pink, how
to pleas pink.

    Punk.

    Mask one. Mask two. Mask three. Mask four.

    Up.

    — Look about you, Tutty Comyn!

    — Remember and recall, Kullykeg!

    — When visiting Dan Leary try the corner house for thee.

    — I'll gie ye credit for simmence more if ye'll be lymphing. Our
four avunculusts.

    And, since threestory sorratelling was much too many, they
maddened and they morgued and they lungd and they jowld.
Synopticked on the word.

    Till the Juke done it.

    Down.

    Like Jukoleon, the seagoer, when he bore down in his perry boat he
had raised a slide and shipped his orders and seized his pullets and
primed their plumages, the fionnling and dubhlet, the dun and the fire,
and, sending them one by other to fare fore forn, he had behold the
residuance of a delugion: the foggy doze still going strong, the old
thalassocrats of invinsible empores, maskers of the waterworld, facing
one way to another way and this way on that way, from severalled their
fourdimmansions. Where the lighning leaps from the numbulous; where
coold by cawld breide lieth langwid; the bounds whereinbourne our
solied bodies all attomed attaim arrest: appoint, that's all. But see what
follows. Wringlings upon wronglings among incomputables about an
uncomeoutable (an angel prophetethis? kingcorrier of beheasts? the calif
in his halifskin? that eyriewinging one?) and the voids bubbily vode's
dodos across the which the boomomouths from their dupest dupes were
in envery and anononously blowing great.

    Guns.

    Keep backwards, please, because there was no good to gundy
running up again. Guns. And it was written up in big capital. Guns.
Saying never underrupt greatgrandgosterfosters! Guns. And whatever
one did they said, the fourlings, that on no acounts you were not to.
Guns.

    Not to pad them behaunt in the fear. Not to go, tonnerwatter, and
bungley well chute the rising gianerant. Not to wandly be woking
around jerumsalemdo at small hours about the murketplots, smelling
okey boney, this little figgy and arraky belloky this little pink into
porker but, porkodirto, to let the gentlemen pedestarolies out of the
Monabella culculpuration live his own left leave, cullebuone, by
perperusual of the petpubblicities without inwoking his also's between
(sic) the arraky bone and (suc) the okey bellock. And not to not be
always, hemmer and hummer, treeing unselves up with one exite but not
to never be caving nicely, precisely, quicely, rebustly, tendrolly,
unremarkably, forsakenly, haltedly, reputedly, firstly, somewhatly,
yesayenolly about the back excits. Never to weaken up in place of the
broths. Never to vvollusslleepp in the pleece of the poots. And,
allerthings, never to ate the sour deans if they weren't having anysin on
their consients. And, when in Zumschloss, to never, narks, cease till the
finely ending was consummated by the completion of accomplishment.

    And thus within the tavern's secret booth The wisehight ones who
sip the tested sooth Bestir them as the Just has bid to jab The punch of
quaram on the mug of truth.

    K.C. jowls, they're sodden in the secret. K.C. jowls, they sure are
wise. K.C. jowls, the justicestjobbers, for they'll find another faller if
their ruse won't rise. Whooley the Whooper.

    There is to see. Squarish large face with the atlas jacket. Brights,
brownie eyes in bluesackin shoeings. Peaky booky nose over a lousiany
shirt. Ruddy stackle hair besides a strawcamel belt. Namely.
Gregorovitch, Leonocopolos, Tarpinacci and Duggelduggel. And was
theys stare all atime? Yea but they was. Andoring the games, induring
the studies, undaring the stories, end all. Ned? Only snugged then and
cosied after one percepted nought while tuffbettle outraged the
waywords and meansigns of their hinterhand suppliesdemands. And be
they gone to splane splication? That host that hast one on the hoose
when backturns when he facefronts none none in the house his geust has
guest. You bet they is. And nose well down.
    With however what sublation of compensation in the radification of
interpretation by the byeboys? Being they. Mr G. B. W. Ashburner, S.
Bruno's Toboggan Drive, Mr Faixgood, Bellchimbers, Carolan
Crescent, Mr I. I. Chattaway, Hilly Gape, Poplar Park, Mr Q. P.
Dieudonney, The View, Gazey Peer, Mr T. T. Erchdeakin, Multiple
Lodge, Jiff Exby Rode, Mr W. K. Ferris-Fender, Fert Fort, Woovil
Doon Botham ontowhom adding the tout that pumped the stout that
linked the lank that cold the sandy that nextdoored the rotter that rooked
the rhymer that lapped at the hoose that Joax pilled.

    They had heard or had heard said or had heard said written.

    Fidelisat.

    That there first a rudrik kingcomed to an inn court; and the seight of
that yard was a perchypole with a loovahgloovah on it; last mannarks
maketh man when wandshift winneth womans: so how would it hum,
whoson of a which, if someof aswas to start to stunt the story on?

    So many needles to ponk out to as many noodles as are company,
they noddling all about it tutti to tempo, decumans numbered too, (a)
well, that the secretary bird, better known as Pandoria Paullabucca,
whom they thought was more like a solicitor general, indiscriminatingly
made belief mid authorsagastions from Schelm the Pelman to write
somewords to Senders about her chilikin puck, laughing that Poulebec
would be the death of her, (b) that, well, that Madges Tighe, the
postulate auditressee, when her daremood's a grownian, is always on the
who goes where, hoping to Michal for the latter to turn up with a cupital
tea before her ephumeral comes off without any much father which is
parting parcel of the same goumeral's postoppage, it being lookwhyse
on the whence blows weather helping mickle so that the loiter end of
that leader may twaddle out after a cubital lull with a hopes soon to ear,
comprong? (c) becakes the goatsman on question, or whatever the hen
the bumbler was, feeling not up to scratch bekicks of whatever the
kiddings Payne Inge and Popper meant for him, thoughy onced at a
throughlove, true grievingfrue danger, as a nirshe persent to his
minstress, devourced the pair of them Mather Caray's chucklings, pante
blanche, and skittered his litters like the cavaliery man in Cobra Park for
ungeborn yenkelmen, Jeremy Trouvas or Kepin O'Keepers, any old
howe and any old then and when around Dix Dearthy Dungbin,
remarking scenically with laddylike lassitude upon what he finally
postscrapped, (d) after it's so long till I thanked you about I do so much
now thank you so very much as you introduced me to fourks, (e) will,
these remind to be sane? (f) Fool step! Aletheometry? Or just zoot doon
floon?

    Nut it out, peeby eye! Onamassofmancynaves.

    But. Top.

    You were in the same boat of yourselves too, Getobodoff or
Treamplasurin; and you receptionated the most diliskious of milisk;
which it all flowowered your drooplin dunlearies: but dribble a drob
went down your rothole. Meaning, Kelly, Grimes, Phelan, Mollanny,
O'Brien, MacAlister, Sealy, Coyle, HynesJoynes, Naylar-Traynor,
Courcy de Courcy and Gilligan-Goll.

       Stunner of oddstodds on bluebleeding boarhorse! What soresen's
head subrises thus tous out of rumpumplikun oak with, well, we cannot
say whom we are looking like through his nowface? It is of Noggens
whilk dusts the bothsides of the seats of the bigslaps of the bogchaps of
the porlarbaar of the marringaar of the Lochlunn gonlannludder of the
feof of the foef of forfummed Ship-le-Zoyd.

       Boumce! It is polisignstunter. The Sockerson boy. To pump the fire
of the lewd into those soulths of bauchees, havsousedovers, tillfellthey
deadwar knootvindict. An whele time he was rancing there smutsy
floskons nodunder ycholerd for their poopishers, ahull onem Fyre
maynoother        endnow!     Shatten    up   ship!   Bouououmce!       Nomo
clandoilskins cheakinlevers! All ashored for Capolic Gizzards!
Stowlaway there, glutany of stainks! Porterfillyers and spirituous
suncksters, oooom oooom!

       As these vitupetards in his boasum he did strongleholder,
bushbrows, nobblynape, swinglyswanglers, sunkentrunk, that from tin
of this clucken hadded runced slapottleslup. For him had hord from fard
a piping. As? Of?

       Dour douchy was a sieguldson. He cooed that loud nor he was
young. He cud bad caw nor he was gray Like wather parted from the
say.

       Ostia, lift it! Lift at it, Ostia! From the say! Away from the say!
    Himhim. Himhim.

    Hearhasting he, himmed, reromembered all the chubbs, chipps,
chaffs, chuckinpucks and chayney chimebells That he had mistributed
in port, pub, park, pantry and poultryhouse, While they, thered, the
others, that are, were most emulously concerned to cupturing the last
dropes of summour down through their grooves of blarneying. Ere the
sockson locked at the dure. Which he would, shuttinshure. And lave
them to sture.

    For be all rules of sport 'tis right That youth bedower'd to charm the
night Whilst age is dumped to mind the day When wather parted from
the say.

    The humming, it's coming. Insway onsway.

    Fingool MacKishgmard Obesume Burgearse Benefice, He was
bowen hem and scrapin him in recolcitrantament to the rightabout And
these probenopubblicoes clamatising for an extinsion on his hostillery
With his chargehand bombing their eres. Tids, genmen, plays, she been
goin shoother off almaynoother onawares.

    You here nort farwellens rouster? Ashiffle ashuffle the wayve they.

    From Dancingtree till Suttonstone There's lads no lie would filch a
crown To mull their sack and brew their tay With wather parted from
the say.

    Lelong Awaindhoo's a selverbourne enrouted to Rochelle Lane and
liberties those Mullinguard minstrelsers are marshalsing, par tunepiped
road, under where, perked on hollowy hill, that poor man of Lyones,
good Dook Weltington, hugon come errindwards, had hircomed to the
belles bows and been cutattrapped by the mausers. Now is it town again,
londmear of Dublin! And off coursse the toller, ples the dotter of his
eyes with her: Moke the Wanst, whye doe we aime alike a pose of
poeter peaced? While the dumb he shoots the shopper rope. And they all
pour forth. Sans butly Tuppeter Sowyer, the rouged engenerand, a
barttler of the beauyne, still our benjamin liefest, sometime frankling to
thise citye, whereas bigrented him a piers half subporters for his arms,
Josiah Pipkin, Amos Love, Raoul Le Febber, Blaize Taboutot, Jeremy
Yopp, Francist de Loomis, Hardy Smith and Sequin Pettit followed by
the snug saloon seanad of our Café Béranger. The scenictutors.

    Because they wonted to get out by the goatweigh afore the sheep
was looset for to wish the Wobbleton Whiteleg Welshers kaillykailly
kellykekkle   and    savebeck    to   Brownhazelwood      from   all   the
dinnasdoolins on the labious banks of their swensewn snewwesner,
turned again weastinghome, by Danesbury Common, and they onely,
duoly, thruely, fairly after rainydraining fountybuckets (chalkem up,
hemptyempty!) till they caught the wind abroad (alley loafers
passinggeering!) all the rockers on the roads and all the boots in the
stretes.

    Oh dere! Ah hoy!

    Last ye, lundsmin, hasty hosty! For an anondation of mirification
and the lutification of our paludination.
   His bludgeon's bruk, his drum is tore. For spuds we'll keep the hat
he wore And roll in clover on his clay By wather parted from the say.

   Hray! Free rogue Mountone till Dew Mild Well to corry awen and
glowry! Are now met by Brownaboy Fuinnninuinn's former for a
lyncheon partyng of his burgherbooh. The Shanavan Wacht.
Rantinroarin Batteries Dorans. And that whistling thief, O' Ryne
O'Rann. With a catch of her cunning like and nowhere a keener.

   The for eolders were aspolootly at their wetsend in the mailing
waters, trying to. Hide! Seek! Hide! Seek! Because number one lived at
Bothersby North and he was trying to. Hide! Seek! Hide! Seek! And
number two digged up Poors Coort, Soother, trying to. Hide! Seek!
Hide! Seek! And nomber three he sleeped with Lilly Tekkles at The
Eats and he was trying to. Hide! Seek! Hide! Seek! And the last with the
sailalloyd donggie he was berthed on the Moherboher to the Washte and
they were all trying to and baffling with the walters of,
hoompsydoompsy walters of. High! Sink! High! Sink! Highohigh!
Sinkasink!

   Waves.

   The gangstairs strain and anger's up As Hoisty rares the can and cup
To speed the bogre's barque away O'er wather parted from the say.

   Horkus chiefest ebblynuncies!

   — He shook be ashaped of hempshelves, hiding that shepe in his
goat. And for rassembling so bearfellsed the magreedy prince of Roger.
Thuthud. Heigh hohse, heigh hohse, our kindom from an orse! Bruni
Lanno's woollies on Brani Lonni's hairyparts. And the hunk in his trunk
it would be an insalt foul the matter of that cellaring to a pigstrough.
Stop his laysense. Ink him! You would think him Alddaublin staking his
lordsure like a gourd on puncheon. Deblinity devined. Wholehunting
the pairk on a methylogical mission whenever theres imberillas! And
calling Rina Roner Reinette Ronayne. To what mine answer is a lemans.
Arderleys, beedles and postbillers heard him. Three points to one.
Ericus Vericus corrupted into ware eggs. Dummy up, distillery! Broree
aboo! Run him a johnsgate down jameseslane. Begetting a wife which
begame his niece by pouring her youngthings into skintighs. That was
when he had dizzy spells. Till Gladstools Pillools made him ride as the
mall. Thanks to his huedobrass beerd. Lodenbroke the Longman, now
he canseels under veerious persons but is always that Rorke relly! On
consideration for the musickers he ought to have down it. Pass out your
cheeks, why daunt you! Penalty, please! There you'll know how warder
barded the bollhead that parssed our alley. We just are upsidedown
singing what ever the dimkims mummur allalilty she pulls inner out
heads. This is not the end of this by no manners means. When you've
bled till you're bone it crops out in your flesh. To tell how your mead of,
mard, is made of. All old Dadgerson's dodges one conning one's
copying and that's what wonderland's wanderlad'll flaunt to the fair. A
trancedone boyscript with tittivits by. Ahem. You'll read it tomorrow,
marn, when the curds on the table. A nigg for a nogg and a thrate for a
throte. The auditor learns. Still pumping on Torkenwhite Radlumps,
Lencs. In preplays to Anonymay's left hinted palinode obviously
inspiterebbed by a sibspecious connexion. Note the notes of admiration!
See the signs of suspicion! Count the hemisemidemicolons! Screamer
caps and invented gommas, quoites puntlost, forced to farce! The
pipette will say anything at all for a change. And you know what aglove
means in the Murdrus dueluct! Fewer to feud and rompant culotticism, a
fugle for the gleemen and save, sit and sew. And a pants outsizinned on
the Doughertys' duckboard pointing to peace at home. In some,
lawanorder on lovinardor. Wait till we hear the Boy of Biskop reeling
around your postoral lector! Epistlemadethemology for deep dorfy
doubtlings. As we'll lay till break of day in the bunk of basky, O! Our
island, Rome and duty! Well tried, buckstiff! Batt in, boot! Sell him a
breach contact, the vendoror, the buylawyer One hyde, sack, hic! Two
stick holst, Lucky! Finnish Make Goal! First you were Nomad, next you
were Namar, now you're Numah and it's soon you'll be Nomon. Hence
counsels Ecclesiast. There's every resumption. The forgein offils is on
the shove to lay you out dossier. Darby's in the yard, planning it on you,
plot and edgings, the whispering peeler after cooks wearing an
illformation. The find of his kind! An artist, sir! And dirt cheap at a
sovereign a skull! He knows his Finsbury Follies backwoods so you
batter see to your regent refutation. Ascare winde is rifing again about
nice boys going native. You know who was wrote about in the Orange
Book of Estchapel? Basil and the two other men from King's Avenance.
Just press this cold brand against your brow for a mow. Cainfully! The
sinus the curse. That's it. Hung Chung Egglyfella now speak he tell
numptywumpty topsawys belongahim pidgin. Secret things other
persons place there covered not. How you fell from story to story like a
sagasand to lie. Enfilmung infirmity. On the because alleging to having
a finger a fudding in pudding and pie. And here's the witnesses. Glue on
to him, Greevy! Bottom anker, Noordeece! And kick kick killykick for
the house that juke built! Wait till they send you to sleep, scowpow! By
jurors' cruces! Then old Hunphydunphyville'll be blasted to bumboards
by the youthful herald who would once you were. He'd be our chosen
one in the matter of Brittas more than anarthur. But we'll wake and see.
The wholes poors riches of ours hundreds of manhoods and womhoods.
Two cents, two mills and two myrds. And it's all us rangers you'll be
facing in the box before the twelfth correctional. Like one man, gell.
Between all the Misses Mountsackvilles in their halfmoon haemicycles,
gasping to giddies to dye for the shame. Just hold hard till the one we
leapt out gets her yearing! Hired in cameras, extra! With His Honour
Surpacker on the binge. So yelp your guilt and kitz the buck. You'll
have loss of fame from Wimmegame's fake. Forwards! One bully son
growing the goff and his twinger read out by the Nazi Priers. You
fought as how they'd never woxen up, did you, crucket? It will wecker
your earse, that it will! When hives the court to exchequer 'tis the child
which gives the sire away. Good for you, Richmond Rover! Scrum
around, our side! Let him have another between the spindlers! A grand
game! Dalymount's decisive. Don Gouverneur Buckley's in the Tara
Tribune, sporting the insides of a Rhutian Jhanaral and little Mrs Ex-
Skaerer-Sissers is bribing the halfpricers to pray for her widower in his
gravest embazzlement. You on her, hosy jigses, that'll be some nonstop
marrimont! You in your stolen mace and anvil, Magnes, and her
burrowed in Berkness cirrchus clouthses. Fummuccumul with a graneen
aveiled. Playing down the slavey touch. Much as she was when the
fancy cutter out collecting milestones espied her aseesaw on a fern. So
nimb, he said, a dat of dew. Between Furr-y-Benn and Ferr-y-Bree. In
this tear Vikloe vich he lofed. The smiling ever. If you pulls me over
pay me, prhyse! A talor would adapt his caulking trudgers on to any
shape at see. Address deceitfold of wovens weard. The wonder of the
women of the world together, moya! And the lovablest Lima since
Ineen MacCormick MacCoort MacConn O'Puckins MacKundred. Only
but she is a little width wider got. Be moving abog. You cannot make a
limousine lady out of a hillman minx. Listun till you'll hear the
Mudquirt accent. This is a bulgen horesies, this is wollan indulgencies,
this is a flemsh. Tik. Scapulars, beads and a stump of a candle, Hubert
was a Hunter, chemins de la croixes and Rosairette's egg, all the
trimmings off the tree that she picked up after the Clontarf voterloost
when O'Bryan MacBruiser bet Norris Nobnut. Becracking his cucconut
between his kknneess. Umpthump, Here Inkeeper, it's the doatereen's
wednessmorn! Delphin dringing! Grusham undergang! And the Real
Hymernians    strenging   strong   at   knocker   knocker!   Holy    and
massalltolled. You ought to tak a dos of frut. Jik. Sauss. You're getting
hoovier, a twelve stone hoovier, fullends a twelve stone hoovier, in your
corpus entis and it scurves you right, demnye! Aunt as unclish ams they
make oom. But Nichtia you bound not to loose's gone on Neffin since
she clapped her charmer on him at Gormagareen. At the Gunting
Munting Hunting Punting. The eitch is in her blood, arrah! For a
frecklesome freshcheeky sweetworded lupsqueezer. And he shows how
he'll pick him the lock of her fancy. Poghue! Poghue! Poghue! And a
good jump, Powell! Clean over all their heads. We could kiss him for
that one, couddled we, Huggins? Sparkes is the footer to hance off
nancies. Scaldhead, pursue! Before you bunkledoodle down upon your
birchentop again after them three blows from time, drink and hurry. The
same three that nursed you, Skerry, Badbols and the Grey One. All of
your own club too. With the fistful of burryberries were for the massus
for to feed you living in dying. Buy bran biscuits and you'll never say
dog. And be in the finest of companies. Morialtay and Kniferope
Walker and Rowley the Barrel. With Longbow of the lie. Slick of the
trick and Blennercassel of the brogue. Clanruckard for ever! The Fenn,
the Fenn, the kinn of all Fenns! Deaf to the winds when for
Croonacreena. Fisht! And it's not now saying how we are where who's
softing what rushes. Merryvirgin forbed! But of they never eat
soullfriede they're ating it now. With easter greeding. Angus! Angus!
Angus! The keykeeper of the keys of the seven doors of the
dreamadoory in the house of the household of Hecech saysaith.
Whitmore, whatmore? Give it over, give it up! Mawgraw! Head of a
helo, chesth of champgnon, eye of a gull! What you'd if he'd. The groom
is in the greenhouse, gattling out his. Gun! That lad's the style for.
Lannigan's ball! Now a drive on the naval! The Shallburn Shock. Never
mind your gibbous. Slip on your ropen collar and draw the noosebag on
your head. Nobody will know or heed you, Postumus, if you skip round
schlymartin by the back and come front sloomutren to beg in one of the
shavers' sailorsuits. Three climbs threequickenthrees in the garb of nine.
We'll split to see you mouldem imparvious. A wing for oldboy Welsey
Wandrer! Well spat, witty wagtail! Now piawn to bishop's forthe!
Moove. There's Mumblesome Wadding Murch cranking up to the
hornemoonium. Drawg us out Ivy Eve in the Hall of Alum! The
finnecies of poetry wed music. Feeling the jitters? You'll be as tight as
Trivett when the knot's knutted on. Now's your never! Peena and
Queena are duetting a giggle-for-giggle and the brideen Alannah is lost
in her diamindwaiting. What a magnificent gesture you will show us
this gallus day. Clean and easy, be the hooker! And a free for croaks
after. Dovlen are out for it. So is Rathfinn. And, hike, here's the hearse
and four horses with the interprovincial crucifixioners throwing lots
inside to know whose to be their gosson and whereas to brake the news
to morhor. How our myterbilder his fullen aslip. And who will wager
but he'll Shonny Bhoy be, the fleshlumpfleeter from Poshtapengha and
all he bares sobsconcious inklings shadowed on soulskin. Its segnet
yores, the strake of a hin. Nup. Laying the cloth, to fore of them. And
thanking the fish, in core of them. To pass the grace for Gard sake!
Ahmohn. Mr Justician Matthews and Mr Justician Marks and Mr
Justician Luk de Luc and Mr Justinian JohnstonJohnson. And the
aaskart, see, behind! Help, help, hurray! Allsup, allsop! Four ghools to
nail! Cut it down, mates, look slippy! They've got a dathe with a
swimminpull. Dang! Ding! Dong! Dung! Dinnin. Isn't it great he is
swaying above us for his good and ours. Fly your balloons, dannies and
dennises! He's doorknobs dead! And Annie Delap is free! Ones more.
We could ate you, par Buccas, and imbabe through you, reassuranced in
the wild lac of gotliness. One fledge, one brood till hulm culms
evurdyburdy. Huh the throman! Huh the traidor. Huh the truh.
Arrorsure, he's the mannork of Arrahland oversense he horrhorrd his
name in thuthunder. Rrrwwwkkkrrr! And seen it rudden up in
fusefiressence on the flashmurket. P.R.C.R.L.L. Royloy. Of the
rollorrish                        rattillary.                       The
lewdningbluebolteredallucktruckalltraumconductor!      The    unnamed
nonirishblooder that becomes a Greenislender overnight! But we're
molting superstituettes out of his fulse thortin guts. Tried mark,
Easterlings. Sign, Soideric O'Cunnuc, Rix. Adversed ord, Magtmorken,
Kovenhow. There's a great conversion, myn! Coucous! Find his
causcaus! From Motometusolum through Bulley and Cowlie and
Diggerydiggerydock down to bazeness's usual? He's alight there still, by
Mike! Loose afore! Bung! Bring forth your deed! Bang! Till is the right
time. Bang! Partick Thistle agen S. Megan's versus Brystal Palace agus
the Walsall! Putsch! Tiemore moretis tisturb badday! The playgue will
be soon over, rats! Let sin! Geh tont! All we wants is to get peace for
possession. We dinned unnerstunned why you sassad about thurteen to
aloafen, sor, kindly repeat! Or ledn us alones of your lungorge,
parsonifier propounde of our edelweissed idol worts! Shaw and Shea are
lorning obsen so hurgle up, gandfarder, and gurgle me gurk. You can't
impose on frayshouters like os. Every tub here spucks his own fat. Hang
coersion everyhow! And smotthermock Gramm's laws! But we're a
drippindhrue gayleague all at ones. In the buginning is the woid, in the
muddle is the sounddance and thereinofter you're in the unbewised
again, vund vulsyvolsy. You talker dunsker's brogue men we our souls
speech obstruct hostery. Silence in thought! Spreach! Wear anartful of
outer nocense! Pawpaw, wowow! Momerry twelfths, noebroed! That
was a good one, ha! So it will be quite a material what May farther be
unvuloped for you, old Mighty, when it's aped to foul a delfian in the
Mahnung. Ha ha! Talk of Paddybarke's echo! Kick nuck, Knockcastle!
Muck! And you'll nose it, O you'll nose it, without warnward from we.
We don't know the sendor to whome. But you'll find Chiggenchugger's
taking the Treaclyshortcake with Bugle and the Bitch pairsadrawsing
and Horssmayres Prosession tyghting up under the threes. Stop. Press
stop. To press stop. All to press stop. And be the seem talkin wharabahts
hosetanzies, dat sure is sullibrated word! Bing bong! Saxolooter, for
congesters are salders' prey. Snap it up in the loose, patchy the blank!
Anyone can see you're the son of a gunnell. Fellow him up too, Carlow!
Woes to the wormquashed, aye, and wor to the winner! Think of
Aerian's Wall and the Fall of Toss. Give him another for to
volleyholleydoodlem! His lights not all out yet, the liverpooser!
Boohoohoo it oose! With seven hores always in the home of his
thinkingthings, his nodsloddledome of his noiselisslesoughts. Two Idas,
two Evas, two Nessies and Rubyjuby. Phook! No wonder, pipes as
kirles, that he sthings like a rheinbok. One bed night he had the
delysiums that they were all queens mobbing him. Fell stiff. Oh, ho, ho,
ho, ah, he, he! Abedicate yourself. It just gegs our goad. He'll be the
deaf of us, pappappoppopcuddle, samblind daiyrudder. Yus, sord, fathe,
you woll, putty our wraughther! What we waits be after? Whyfore we
come agooding? None of you, cock icy! You keep that henayearn and
her fortycantle glim lookbehinder. We might do with rubiny leeses. But
of all your wanings send us out your peppydecked ales and you'll not be
such a bad lot. The rye is well for whose amind but the wheateny one is
proper lovely. B E N K! We sincerestly trust that Missus with the
kiddies of sweet Gorteen has not B I N K to their very least tittles
deranged if in B U N K and we greesiously augur for your Meggers a B
E N K B A N K B O N K to sloop in with all sorts of adceterus and
adsaturas. It's our last fight, Megantic, fear you will! The refergee's took
to hailing to time the pass. There goes the blackwatchwomen, all in
white, flaxed up, purgad! Right toe, Armitage! Tem for Tam at
Timmotty Hall! We're been carried away. Beyond bournes and bowers.
So we'll leave it to Keyhoe, Danelly and Pykemhyme, the three
muskrateers, at the end of this age that had it from Variants' Katey
Sherratt that had it from Variants' Katey Sherratt's man for the
bonnefacies of Blashwhite and Blushred of the Aquasancta Liffey Patrol
to wind up and to tells of all befells after that to Mocked Majesty in the
Malincurred Mansion.

    So you were saying, boys? Anyhow he what?

    So anyhow, melumps and mumpos of the hoose uncommons, after
that to wind up that longtobechronickled gettogether thanksbetogiving
day at Glenfinnisk-en-la-Valle, the anniversary of his finst homy
commulion, after that same barbecue beanfeast was all over poor old
hospitable corn and eggfactor, King Roderick O'Conor, the paramount
chief polemarch and last preelectric king of Ireland, who was anything
you say yourself between fiftyodd and fiftyeven years of age at the time
after the socalled last supper he greatly gave in his umbrageous house of
the hundred bottles with the radio beamer tower and its hangars,
chimbneys and equilines or, at least, he was'nt actually the then last king
of all Ireland for the time being for the jolly good reason that he was
still such as he was the eminent king of all Ireland himself after the last
preeminent king of all Ireland, the whilom joky old top that went before
him in the Taharan dynasty, King Arth Mockmorrow Koughenough of
the leathered leggions, now of parts unknown, (God guard his generous
comicsongbook soul!) that put a poached fowl in the poor man's pot
before he took to his pallyass with the weeping eczema for better and
worse until he went under the grass quilt on us, nevertheless, the year
the sugar was scarce, and we to lather and shave and frizzle him, like a
bald surging buoy and himself down to three cows that was meat and
drink and dogs and washing to him, 'tis good cause we have to
remember it, going through summersultryngs of snow and sleet witht
the widow Nolan's goats and the Brownes girls neats anyhow, wait till I
tell you, what did he do, poor old Roderick O'Conor Rex, the auspicious
waterproof monarch of all Ireland, when he found himself all alone by
himself in his grand old handwedown pile after all of them had all gone
off with themselves to their castles of mud, as best they cud, on
footback, owing to the leak of the McCarthy's mare, in extended order, a
tree's length from the longest way out, down the switchbackward slidder
of the landsown route of Hauburnea's liveliest vinnage on the brain, the
unimportant Parthalonians with the mouldy Firbolgs and the Tuatha de
Danaan googs and the ramblers from Clane and all the rest of the
notmuchers that he did not care the royal spit out of his ostensible
mouth about, well, what do you think he did, sir, but, faix, he just went
heeltapping through the winespilth and weevily popcorks that were
kneedeep round his own right royal round rollicking toper's table, with
his old Roderick Random pullon hat at a Lanty Leary cant on him and
Mike Brady's shirt and Greene's linnet collarbow and his Ghenter's
gaunts and his Macclefield's swash and his readymade Reillys and his
panprestuberian poncho, the body you'd pity him, the way the world is,
poor he, the heart of Midleinster and the supereminent lord of them all,
overwhelmed as he was with black ruin like a sponge out of water,
allocutioning in bellcantos to his own oliverian society MacGuiney's
Dreans of Ergen Adams and thruming through all to himself with
diversed tonguesed through his old tears and his ould plaised drawl,
starkened by the most regal of belches, like a blurney Cashelmagh
crooner that lerking Clare air, the blackberd's ballad I've a terrible
errible lot todue todie todue tootorribleday, well, what did he go and do
at all, His Most Exuberant Majesty King Roderick O'Conor but, arrah
bedamnbut, he finalised by lowering his woolly throat with the
wonderful midnight thirst was on him, as keen as mustard, he could not
tell what he did ale, that bothered he was from head to tail, and,
wishawishawish, leave it, what the Irish, boys, can do, if he did'nt go,
sliggymaglooral reemyround and suck up, sure enough, like a Trojan, in
some particular cases with the assistance of his venerated tongue,
whatever surplus rotgut, sorra much, was left by the lazy lousers of
maltknights and beerchurls in the different bottoms of the various
different replenquished drinking utensils left there behind them on the
premisses by that whole hogsheaded firkin family, the departed
honourable homegoers and other slygrogging suburbanites, such as it
was, fall and fall about, to the brindishing of his charmed life, as
toastified by his cheeriubicundenances,no matter whether it was
chateaubottled Guiness's or Phoenix brewery stout it was or John
Jameson and Sons or Roob Coccola or, for the matter of that,
O'Connell's famous old Dublin ale that he wanted like hell, more that
halibut oil or jesuits tea, as a fall back, of several different quantities and
qualities amounting in all to, I should say, considerably more than the
better part of a gill or naggin of imperial dry and liquid measure till,
welcome be from us here, till the rising of the morn, till that hen of
Kaven's shows her beaconegg, and Chapwellswendows stain our
horyhistoricold and Father MacMichael stamps for aitch o'clerk mess
and the Litvian Newestlatter is seen, sold and delivered and all's set for
restart after the silence, like his ancestors to this day after him (that the
blazings of their ouldmouldy gods may attend to them we pray!),
overopposides the cowery lad in the corner and forenenst the staregaze
of the cathering candled, that adornment of his album and folkenfather
of familyans, he came acrash a crupper sort of a sate on accomondation
and the very boxst in all his composs, whereuponce, behome the fore for
cove and trawlers, heave hone, leave lone, Larry's on the focse and
Faugh MacHugh O'Bawlar at the wheel, one to do and one to dare, par
by par, a peerless pair, ever here and over there, with his fol the dee oll
the doo on the flure of his feats and the feels of the fumes in the wakes
of his ears our wineman from Barleyhome he just slumped to throne.

    So sailed the stout ship Nansy Hans. From Liff away. For
Nattenlaender. As who has come returns. Farvel, farerne! Goodbark,
goodbye!

    Now follow we out by Starloe!
   Chapter 4




   — Three quarks for Muster Mark!

   Sure he hasn't got much of a bark

   And sure any he has it's all beside the mark.

   But O, Wreneagle Almighty, wouldn't un be a sky of a lark

   To see that old buzzard whooping about for uns shirt in the dark

   And he hunting round for uns speckled trousers around by
Palmerstown Park?

   Hohohoho, moulty Mark!

   You're the rummest old rooster ever flopped out of a Noah's ark
    And you think you're cock of the wark.

    Fowls, up! Tristy's the spry young spark

    That'll tread her and wed her and bed her and red her

    Without ever winking the tail of a feather

    And that's how that chap's going to make his money and mark!



    Overhoved, shrillgleescreaming. That song sang seaswans. The
winging ones. Seahawk, seagull, curlew and plover, kestrel and
capercallzie. All the birds of the sea they trolled out rightbold when they
smacked the big kuss of Trustan with Usolde.

    And there they were too, when it was dark, whilest the wildcaps was
circling, as slow their ship, the winds aslight, upborne the fates, the
wardorse moved, by courtesy of Mr Deaubaleau Downbellow
Kaempersally, listening in, as hard as they could, in Dubbeldorp, the
donker, by the tourneyold of the wattarfalls, with their vuoxens and they
kemin in so hattajocky (only a quartebuck askull for the last acts) to the
solans and the sycamores and the wild geese and the gannets and the
migratories and the mistlethrushes and the auspices and all the birds of
the rockbysuckerassousyoceanal sea, all four of them, all sighing and
sobbing, and listening. Moykle ahoykling!

    They were the big four, the four maaster waves of Erin, all listening,
four. There was old Matt Gregory and then besides old Matt there was
old Marcus Lyons, the four waves, and oftentimes they used to be
saying grace together, right enough, bausnabeatha, in Miracle Squeer:
here now we are the four of us: old Matt Gregory and old Marcus and
old Luke Tarpey: the four of us and sure, thank God, there are no more
of us: and, sure now, you wouldn't go and forget and leave out the other
fellow and old Johnny MacDougall: the four of us and no more of us
and so now pass the fish for Christ sake, Amen: the way they used to be
saying their grace before fish, repeating itself, after the interims of
Augusburgh for auld lang syne. And so there they were, with their
palms in their hands, like the pulchrum's proculs, spraining their ears,
luistening and listening to the oceans of kissening, with their eyes
glistening, all the four, when he was kiddling and cuddling and
bunnyhugging scrumptious his colleen bawn and dinkum belle, an oscar
sister, on the fifteen inch loveseat, behind the chieftaness stewardesses
cubin, the hero, of Gaelic champion, the onliest one of her choice, her
bleaueyedeal of a girl's friend, neither bigugly nor smallnice, meaning
pretty much everything to her then, with his sinister dexterity, light and
rufthandling, vicemversem her ragbags et assaucyetiams, fore and aft,
on and offsides, the brueburnt sexfutter, handson and huntsem, that was
palpably wrong and bulbubly improper, and cuddling her and kissing
her, tootyfay charmaunt, in her ensemble of maidenna blue, with an
overdress of net, tickled with goldies, Isolamisola, and whisping and
lisping her about Trisolanisans, how one was whips for one was two and
two was lips for one was three, and dissimulating themself, with his
poghue like Arrah-na-poghue, the dear dear annual, they all four
remembored who made the world and how they used to be at that time
in the vulgar ear cuddling and kiddling her, after an oyster supper in
Cullen's barn, from under her mistlethrush and kissing and listening, in
the good old bygone days of Dion Boucicault, the elder, in Arrah-
napogue, in the otherworld of the passing of the key of Twotongue
Common, with Nush, the carrier of the word, and with Mesh, the cutter
of the reed, in one of the farback, pitchblack centuries when who made
the world, when they knew O'Clery, the man on the door, when they
were all four collegians on the nod, neer the Nodderlands Nurskery,
whiteboys and oakboys, peep of tim boys and piping tom boys, raising
hell while the sin was shining, with their slates and satchels, playing
Florian's fables and communic suctions and vellicar frictions with
mixum members, in the Queen's Ultonian colleges, along with another
fellow, a prime number, Totius Quotius, and paying a pot of tribluts to
Boris O'Brien, the buttler of Clumpthump, two looves, two turnovers
plus (one) crown, to see the mad dane ating his vitals. Wulf! Wulf! And
throwing his tongue in the snakepit. Ah ho! The ladies have mercias! It
brought the dear prehistoric scenes all back again, as fresh as of yore,
Matt and Marcus, natural born lovers of nature, in all her moves and
senses, and after that now there he was, that mouth of mandibles, vowed
to pure beauty, and his Arrah-na-poghue, when she murmurously, after
she let a cough, gave her firm order, if he wouldn't please mind, for a
sings to one hope a dozen of the best favourite lyrical national blooms
in Luvillicit, though not too much, reflecting on the situation, drinking
in draughts of purest air serene and revelling in the great outdoors,
before the four of them, in the fair fine night, whilst the stars shine
bright, by she light of he moon, we longed to be spoon, before her
honeyoldloom, the plaint effect being in point of fact there being in the
whole, a seatuition so shocking and scandalous and now, thank God,
there were no more of them and he poghuing and poghuing like the
Moreigner bowed his crusted hoed and Tilly the Tailor's Tugged a Tar
in the Arctic Newses Dagsdogs number and there they were, like a
foremasters in the rolls, listening, to Rolando's deepen darblun Ossian
roll, (Lady, it was just too gorgeous, that expense of a lovely tint,
embellished by the charms of art and very well conducted and nicely
mannered and all the horrid rudy noisies locked up in nasty cubbyhole!)
as tired as they were, the three jolly topers, with their mouths watering,
all the four, the old connubial men of the sea, yambing around with their
old pantometer, in duckasaloppics, Luke and Johnny MacDougall and
all wishening for anything at all of the bygone times, the wald times and
the fald times and the hempty times and the dempty times, for a cup of
kindness yet, for four farback tumblerfuls of woman squash, with them,
all four, listening and spraining their ears for the millennium and all
their mouths making water.

    Johnny. Ah well, sure, that's the way (up) and it so happened there
was poor Matt Gregory (up), their pater familias, and (up) the others and
now really and (up) truly they were four dear old heladies and really
they looked awfully pretty and so nice and bespectable and after that
they had their fathomglasses to find out all the fathoms and their half a
tall hat, just now like the old Merquus of Pawerschoof, the old
determined despot, (quiescents in brage!) only for the extrusion of the
saltwater or the auctioneer there dormont, in front of the place near
O'Clery's, at the darkumound numbur wan, beside that ancient Dame
street, where the statue of Mrs Dana O'Connell, prostituent behind the
Trinity College, that arranges all the auctions of the valuable colleges,
Bootersbay Sisters, like the auctioneer Battersby Sisters, the
prumisceous creaters, that sells all the emancipated statues and
flowersports, James H. Tickell, the jaypee, off Hoggin Green, after he
made the centuries, going to the tailturn horseshow, before the angler
nomads flood, along with another fellow, active impalsive, and the
shoeblacks and the redshanks and plebeians and the barrancos and the
cappunchers childerun, Jules, everyone, Gotopoxy, with the houghers
on them, highstepping the fissure and fracture lines, seven five threes
up, three five sevens down, to get out of his way, onasmuck as their
withers conditions could not possibly have been improved upon,
(praisers be to deeseesee!) like hopolopocattls, erumping oround their
Judgity Yaman, and all the tercentenary horses and priest hunters, from
the Curragh, and confusionaries and the authorities, Noord Amrikaans
and Suid Aferican cattleraiders (so they say) all over like a tiara
dullfuoco, in his grey half a tall hat and his amber necklace and his
crimson harness and his leathern jib and his cheapshein hairshirt and his
scotobrit sash and his parapilagian gallowglasses (how do you do,
jaypee, Elevato!) to find out all the improper colleges (and how do you
do, Mr Dame James? Get out of my way!), forkbearded and bluetoothed
and bellied and boneless, from Strathlyffe and Aylesburg and
Northumberland Anglesey, the whole yaghoodurt sweepstakings and all
the horsepowers. But now, talking of hayastdanars and wolkingology
and how our seaborn isle came into exestuance, (the explutor, his three
andesiters and the two pantellarias) that reminds me about the
manausteriums of the poor Marcus of Lyons and poor Johnny, the
patrician, and what do you think of the four of us and there they were
now, listening right enough, the four saltwater widowers, and all they
could remembore, long long ago in the olden times Momonian, throw
darker hour sorrows, the princest day, when Fair Margrate waited
Swede Villem, and Lally in the rain, with the blank prints, now extincts,
after the wreak of Wormans' Noe, the barmaisigheds, when my heart
knew no care, and after that then there was the official landing of Lady
Jales Casemate, in the year of the flood 1132 S.O.S., and the christening
of Queen Baltersby, the Fourth Buzzersbee, according to Her Grace the
bishop Senior, off the whate shape, and then there was the drowning of
Pharoah and all his pedestrians and they were all completely drowned
into the sea, the red sea, and then poor Merkin Cornyngwham, the
official out of the castle on pension, when he was completely drowned
off Erin Isles, at that time, suir knows, in the red sea and a lovely
mourning paper and thank God, as Saman said, there were no more of
him. And that now was how it was. The arzurian deeps o'er his
humbodumbones sweeps. And his widdy the giddy is wreathing her
murmoirs as her gracest triput to the Grocery Trader's Manthly. Mind
mand gunfree by Gladeys Rayburn! Runtable's Reincorporated. The
new world presses. Where the old conk cruised now croons the yunk.
Exeunc throw a darras Kram of Llawnroc, ye gink guy, kirked into yord.
Enterest attawonder Wehpen, luftcat revol, fairescapading in his natsirt.
Tuesy tumbles. And mild aunt Liza is as loose as her neese. Fulfest
withim inbrace behent. As gent would deem oncontinent. So mulct per
wenche is Elsker woed. Ne hath his thrysting. Fin. Like the newcasters
in their old plyable of A Royenne Devours. Jazzaphoney and Mirillovis
and Nippy she nets best. Fing. Ay, ay! Sobbos. And so he was. Sabbus.

    Marcus. And after that, not forgetting, there was the Flemish
armada, all scattered, and all officially drowned, there and then, on a
lovely morning, after the universal flood, at about aleven thirtytwo was
it? off the coast of Cominghome and Saint Patrick, the anabaptist, and
Saint Kevin, the lacustrian, with toomuch of tolls and lottance of
beggars, after converting Porterscout and Dona, our first marents, and
Lapoleon, the equestrian, on his whuite hourse of Hunover, rising
Clunkthurf over Cabinhogan and all they remembored and then there
was the Frankish floot of Noahsdobahs, from Hedalgoland, round about
the freebutter year of Notre Dame 1132 P.P.O. or so, disumbunking
from under Motham General Bonaboche, (noo poopery!) in his half a
grey traditional hat, alevoila come alevilla, and after that there he was,
so terrestrial, like a Nailscissor, poghuing her scandalous and very
wrong, the maid, in single combat, under the sycamores, amid the
bludderings from the boom and all the gallowsbirds in Arrah-na-
Poghue, so silvestrious, neer the Queen's Colleges, in 1132 Brian or
Bride street, behind the century man on the door. And then again they
used    to     give     the    grandest     gloriaspanquost     universal
howldmoutherhibbert lectures on anarxaquy out of doxarchology (hello,
Hibernia!) from sea to sea (Matt speaking!) according to the pictures
postcard, with sexon grimmacticals, in the Latimer Roman history, of
Latimer repeating himself, from the vicerine of Lord Hugh, the
Lacytynant,    till   Bockleyshuts    the   rahjahn    gerachknell    and
regnumrockery roundup, (Marcus Lyons speaking!) to the oceanfuls of
collegians green and high classes and the poor scholars and all the old
trinitarian senate and saints and sages and the Plymouth brethren,
droning along, peanzanzangan, and nodding and sleeping away there,
like forgetmenots, in her abijance service, round their twelve tables, per
pioja at pulga bollas, in the four trinity colleges, for earnasyoulearning
Eringrowback, of Ulcer, Moonster, Leanstare and Cannought, the four
grandest colleges supper the matther of Erryn, of Killorcure and
Killthemall and Killeachother and Killkelly-on-the-Flure, where their
role was to rule the round roll that Rollo and Rullo rolled round. Those
were the grandest gynecollege histories (Lucas calling, hold the line!) in
the Janesdanes Lady Andersdaughter Universary, for auld acquaintance
sake (this unitarian lady, breathtaking beauty, Bambam's bonniest, lived
to a great age at or in or about the late No. 1132 or No. 1169, bis,
Fitzmary Round where she was seen by many and widely liked) for
teaching the Fatima Woman history of Fatimiliafamilias, repeating
herself, on which purposeth of the spirit of nature as difinely developed
in time by psadatepholomy, the past and present (Johnny MacDougall
speaking, give me trunks, miss!) and present and absent and past and
present and perfect arma virumque romano. Ah, dearo, dear! O weep
for the hower when eve aleaves bower! How it did but all come
eddaying back to them, if they did but get gaze, gagagniagnian, to hear
him there, kiddling and cuddling her, after the gouty old galahat, with
his peer of quinnyfears and his troad of thirstuns, so nefarious, from his
elevation of one yard one handard and thartytwo lines, before the four of
us, in his Roman Catholic arms, while his deepseepeepers gazed and
sazed and dazecrazemazed into her dullokbloon rodolling olosheen
eyenbowls by the Cornelius Nepos, Mnepos. Anumque, umque. Napoo.

    Queh? Quos?

    Ah, dearo dearo dear! Bozun braceth brythe hwen gooses gandered
gamen. Mahazar ag Dod! It was so scalding sorry for all the whole
twice two four of us, with their familiar, making the toten, and Lally
when he lost part of his half a hat and all belongings to him, in his old
futile manner, cape, towel and drawbreeches, and repeating himself and
telling him now, for the seek of Senders Newslaters and the mossacre
of Saint Brices, to forget the past, when the burglar he shoved the
wretch in churneroil, and contradicting all about Lally, the ballest
master of Gosterstown, and his old fellow, the Lagener, in the Locklane
Lighthouse, earing his wick with a pierce of railing, and liggen hig with
his ladder up, and that oldtime turner and his sadderday erely cloudsing,
the old croniony, Skelly, with the lether belly, full of neltts, full of
keltts, full of lightweight beltts and all the bald drakes or ever he had up
in the bohereen, off Artsichekes Road, with Moels and Mahmullagh
Mullarty, the man in the Oran mosque, and the old folks at home and
Duignan and Lapole and the grand confarreation, as per the cabbangers
richestore, of the filest archives, and he couldn't stop laughing over Tom
Tim Tarpey, the Welshman, and the four middleaged widowers, all
nangles, sangles, angles and wangles. And now, that reminds me, not to
forget the four of the Welsh waves, leaping laughing, in their Lumbag
Walk, over old Battleshore and Deaddleconchs, in their half a Roman
hat, with an ancient Greek gloss on it, in Chichester College auction
and, thank God, they were all summarily divorced, four years before, or
so they say, by their dear poor shehusbands, in dear byword days, and
never brought to mind, to see no more the rainwater on the floor but still
they parted, raining water laughing, per Nupiter Privius, only terpary, on
the best of terms and be forgot, whilk was plainly foretolk by their old
pilgrim cocklesong or they were singing through the wettest indies As I
was going to Burrymecarott we fell in with a lout by the name of
Peebles as also in another place by their orthodox proverb so there was
said thus That old fellow knows milk though he's not used to it latterly.
And so they parted. In Dalkymont nember to. Ay, ay. The good go and
the wicked is left over. As evil flows so Ivel flows. Ay, ay. Ah, well
sure, that's the way. As the holymaid of Kunut said to the haryman of
Koombe. For his humple pesition in odvices. Woman. Squash. Part. Ay,
ay. By decree absolute.

    Lucas. And, O so well they could remembore at that time, when
Carpery of the Goold Fins was in the kingship of Poolland, Mrs
Dowager Justice Squalchman, foorsitter, in her fullbottom wig and
beard, (Erminia Reginia!) in or aring or around about the year of buy in
disgrace 1132 or 1169 or 1768 Y.W.C.A., at the Married Male
Familyman's Auctioneer's court in Arrahnacuddle. Poor Johnny of the
clan of the Dougals, the poor Scuitsman, (Hohannes!) nothing if not
amorous, dinna forget, so frightened (Zweep! Zweep!) on account of her
full bottom, (undullable attraxity!) that put the yearl of mercies on him,
and the four maasters, in chors, with a hing behangd them, because he
was so slow to borstel her schoon for her, when he was grooming her
ladyship, instead of backscratching her materfamilias proper, like any
old methodist, and all divorced and innasense interdict, in the middle of
the temple, according to their dear faithful. Ah, now, it was too bad, too
bad and stout entirely, all the missoccurs; and poor Mark or Marcus
Bowandcoat, from the brownesberrow in nolandsland, the poor old
chronometer, all persecuted with ally croaker by everybody, by decree
absolute, through Herrinsilde, because he forgot himself, making wind
and water, and made a Neptune's mess of all of himself, sculling over
the giamond's courseway, and because he forgot to remember to sign an
old morning proxy paper, a writing in request to hersute herself, on
stamped bronnanoleum, from Roneo to Giliette, before saying his grace
before fish and then and there and too there was poor Dion Cassius
Poosycomb, all drowned too, before the world and her husband, because
it was most improper and most wrong, when he attempted to (well, he
was shocking poor in his health, he said, with the shingles falling off
him), because he (ah, well now, peaces pea to Wedmore and let not the
song go dumb upon your Ire, as we say in the Spasms of Davies, and we
won't be too hard on him as an old Manx presbyterian) and after that, as
red as a Rosse is, he made his last will and went to confession, like the
general of the Berkeleyites, at the rim of the rom, on his two bare
marrowbones, to Her Worship his Mother and Sister Evangelist
Sweainey, on Cailcainnin widnight and he was so sorry, he was really,
because he left the bootybutton in the handsome cab and now, tell the
truth, unfriends never, (she was his first messes dogess and it was a very
pretty peltry and there were faults on both sides) well, he attempted (or
so they say) ah, now, forget and forgive (don't we all?) and, sure, he was
only funning with his andrewmartins and his old age coming over him,
well, he attempted or, the Connachy, he was tempted to attempt some
hunnish familiarities, after eten a bad carmp in the rude ocean and,
hevantonoze sure, he was dead seasickabed (it was really too bad!) her
poor old divorced male, in the housepays for the daying at the Martyr
Mrs MacCawley's, where at the time he was taying and toying, to hold
the nursetendered hand, (ah, the poor old coax!) and count the buttons
and her hand and frown on a bad crab and doying to remembore what
doed they were byorn and who made a who a snore. Ah dearo dearo
dear!

    And where do you leave Matt Emeritus? The laychief of
Abbotabishop? And exchullard of ffrench and gherman. Achoch! They
were all so sorgy for poorboir Matt in his saltwater hat, with the Aran
crown, or she grew that out of, too big for him, of or Mnepos and his
overalls, all falling over her in folds — sure he hadn't the heart in her to
pull them up — poor Matt, the old perigrime matriarch, and a queenly
man, (the porple blussing upon them!) sitting there, the sole of the
settlement, below ground, for an expiatory rite, in postulation of his
cause, (who shall say?) in her beaver bonnet, the king of the Caucuses, a
family all to himself, under geasa, Themistletocles, on his multilingual
tombstone, like Navellicky Kamen, and she due to kid by sweetpea
time, with her face to the wall, in view of the poorhouse, and taking his
rust in the oxsight of Iren, under all the auspices, amid the rattle of
hailstorms, kalospintheochromatokreening, with her ivyclad hood, and
gripping an old pair of curling tongs, belonging to Mrs Duna O'Cannell,
to blow his brains with, till the heights of Newhigherland heard the
Bristolhut, with his can of tea and a purse of alfred cakes from Anne
Lynch and two cuts of Shackleton's brown loaf and dilisk, waiting for
the end to come. Gordon Heighland, when you think of it! The merthe
dirther! Ah ho! It was too bad entirely! All devoured by active
parlourmen, laudabiliter, of woman squelch and all on account of the
smell of Shakeletin and scratchman and his mouth watering, acid and
alkolic; signs on the salt, and so now pass the loaf for Christ sake.
Amen. And so. And all.

    Matt. And loaf. So that was the end. And it can't be helped. Ah, God
be good to us! Poor Andrew Martin Cunningham! Take breath! Ay! Ay!

    And still and all at that time of the dynast days of old konning
Soteric Sulkinbored and Bargomuster Bart, when they struck coil and
shock haunts, in old Hungerford-on-Mudway, where first I met thee
oldpoetryck flied from may and the Finnan haddies and the Noal Sharks
and the muckstails turtles like an acoustic pottish and the griesouper
bullyum and how he poled him up his boccat of vuotar and got big buzz
for his name in the airweek's honours from home, colonies and empire,
they were always with assisting grace, thinking (up) and not forgetting
about shims and shawls week, in auld land syne (up) their four
hosenbands, that were four (up) beautiful sister misters, now happily
married, unto old Gallstonebelly, and there they were always counting
and contradicting every night 'tis early the lovely mother of periwinkle
buttons, according to the lapper part of their anachronism (up one up
two up one up four) and after that there now she was, in the end, the
deary, soldpowder and all, the beautfour sisters, and that was her
mudhen republican name, right enough, from alum and oves, and they
used to be getting up from under, in their tape and straw garlands, with
all the worries awake in their hair, at the kookaburra bell ringring all
wrong inside of them (come in, come on, you lazy loafs!) all inside their
poor old Shandon bellbox (come out to hell, you lousy louts!) so
frightened, for the dthclangavore, like knockneeghs bumpsed by the
fisterman's straights, (ys! ys!), at all hours every night, on their
mistletoes, the four old oldsters, to see was the Transton Postscript
come, with their oerkussens under their armsaxters, all puddled and
mythified, the way the wind wheeled the schooler round, when nobody
wouldn't even let them rusten, from playing their gastspiels, crossing
their sleep by the shocking silence, when they were in dreams of yore,
standing behind the door, or leaning out of the chair, or kneeling under
the sofacover and setting on the souptureen, getting into their way
something barbarous, changing the one wet underdown convibrational
bed or they used to slumper under, when hope was there no more, and
putting on their half a hat and falling over all synopticals and a
panegyric and repeating themselves, like svvollovving, like the time
they were dadging the talkeycook that chased them, look look all round
the stool, walk everywhere for a jool, to break fyre to all the rancers, to
collect all and bits of brown, the rathure's evelopment in spirits of time
in all fathom of space and slooping around in a bawneen and bath
slippers and go away to Oldpatrick and see a doctor Walker. And after
that so glad they had their night tentacles and there they used to be,
flapping and cycling, and a dooing a doonloop, panementically, around
the waists of the ships, in the wake of their good old Foehn again, as
tyred as they were, at their windswidths in the waveslength, the
clipperbuilt and the five fourmasters and Lally of the cleftoft bagoderts
and Roe of the fair cheats, exchanging fleas from host to host, with
arthroposophia, and he selling him before he forgot, issle issle, after
having prealably dephlegmatised his gutterful of throatyfrogs, with a
lungible fong in his suckmouth ear, while the dear invoked to the coolun
dare by a palpabrows lift left no doubt in his minder, till he was instant
and he was trustin, sister soul in brother hand, the subjects being their
passion grand, that one fresh from the cow about Aithne Meithne
married a mailde and that one too from Engrvakon saga abooth a gooth
a gev a gotheny egg and the parkside pranks of quality queens, katte
efter kinne, for Earl Hoovedsoon's choosing and Huber and Harman
orhowwhen      theeuponthus      (chchch!)    eysolt    of    binnoculises
memostinmust egotum sabcunsciously senses upers the deprofundity of
multimathematical immaterialities wherebejubers in the pancosmic urge
the allimmanence of that which Itself is Itself Alone (hear, O hear,
Caller Errin!) exteriorises on this ourherenow plane in disunited solod,
likeward and gushious bodies with (science, say!) perilwhitened
passionpanting pugnoplangent intuitions of reunited selfdom (murky
whey, abstrew adim!) in the higherdimissional selfless Allself,
theemeeng Narsty meetheeng Idoless, and telling Jolly MacGolly, dear
mester John, the belated dishevelled, hacking away at a parchment pied,
and all the other analist, the steamships ant the ladies'foursome, ovenfor,
nedenfor, dinkety, duk, downalupping, (how long tandem!) like a
foreretyred schoonmasters, and their pair of green eyes and peering in,
so they say, like the narcolepts on the lakes of Coma, through the
steamy windows, into the honeymoon cabins, on board the big
steamadories, made by Fumadory, and the saloon ladies' madorn toilet
chambers lined over prawn silk and rub off the salty catara off a
windows and, hee hee, listening, qua committe, the poor old quakers,
oben the dure, to see all the hunnishmooners and the firstclass ladies,
serious me, a lass spring as you fancy, and sheets far from the lad,
courting in blankets, enfamillias, and, shee shee, all improper, in a
lovely mourning toilet, for the rosecrumpler, the thrilldriver, the
sighinspirer, with that olive throb in his nude neck, and, swayin and
thayin, thanks ever so much for the tiny quote, which sought of maid
everythingling again so very much more delightafellay, and the perfidly
suite of her, bootyfilly yours, under all their familiarities, by preventing
grace, forgetting to say their grace before chambadory, before going to
boat with the verges of the chaptel of the opering of the month of Nema
Knatut, so pass the poghue for grace sake. Amen. And all, hee hee hee,
quaking, so fright, and, shee shee, shaking. Aching. Ay, ay.

    For it was then a pretty thing happened of pure diversion mayhap,
when his flattering hend, at the justright moment, like perchance some
cook of corage might clip the lad on a poot of porage handshut his
duckhouse, the vivid girl, deaf with love, (ah sure, you know her, our
angel being, one of romance's fadeless wonderwomen, and, sure now,
we all know you dote on her even unto date!) with a queeleetlecree of
joysis crisis she renulited their disunited, with ripy lepes to ropy lopes
(the dear o'dears!) and the golden importunity of aloofer's leavetime,
when, as quick, is greased pigskin, Amoricas Champius, with one
aragan throust, druve the massive of virilvigtoury flshpst the both lines
of forwards (Eburnea's down, boys!) rightjingbangshot into the goal of
her gullet.

    Alris!

    And now, upright and add them! And plays be honest! And pullit
into yourself, as on manowoman do another! Candidately, everybody! A
mot for amot. Comong, meng, and douh! There was this,
wellyoumaycallher, a strapping modern old ancient Irish prisscess, so
and so hands high, such and such paddock weight, in her madapolam
smock, nothing under her hat but red hair and solid ivory (now you
know it's true in your hardup hearts!) and a firstclass pair of bedroom
eyes, of most unhomy blue, (how weak we are, one and all!) the charm
of favour's fond consent! Could you blame her, we're saying, for one
psocoldlogical moment? What would Ewe do? With that so tiresome old
milkless a ram, with his tiresome duty peck and his bronchial tubes, the
tiresome old hairyg orangogran beaver, in his tiresome old
twennysixandsixpenny       sheopards      plods    drowsers      and    his
thirtybobandninepenny tails plus toop! Hagakhroustioun! It were too
exceeding really if one woulds to offer at sulk an oldivirdual a pinge of
hinge hit. The mainest thing ever! Since Edem was in the boags noavy.
No, no, the dear heaven knows, and the farther the from it, if the whole
stole stale mis betold, whoever the gulpable, and whatever the pulpous
was, the twooned togethered, and giving the mhost phassionable
wheathers, they were doing a lally a lolly a dither a duther one lelly two
dather three lilly four dother. And it was a fiveful moment for the poor
old timetetters, ticktacking, in tenk the count. Till the spark that plugged
spared the chokee he gripped and (volatile volupty, how brieved are thy
lunguings!) they could and they could hear like of a lisp lapsing, that
was her knight of the truths thong plipping out of her chapellledeosy,
after where he had gone and polped the questioned. Plop.

    Ah now, it was tootwoly torrific, the mummurrlubejubes! And then
after that they used to be so forgetful, counting motherpeributts (up one
up four) to membore her beaufu mouldern maiden name, for
overflauwing, by the dream of woman the owneirist, in forty lands.
From Greg and Doug on poor Greg and Mat and Mar and Lu and Jo,
now happily buried, our four! And there she was right enough, that
lovely sight enough, the girleen bawn asthore, as for days galore, of
planxty Gregory. Egory. O bunket not Orwin! Ay, ay.

    But, sure, that reminds me now, like another tellmastory repeating
yourself, how they used to be in lethargy's love, at the end of it all, at
that time (up) always, tired and all, after doing the mousework and
making it up, over their community singing (up) the top loft of the
voicebox, of Mamalujo like the senior follies at murther magrees,
squatting round, two by two, the four confederates, with Caxons the
Coswarn, up the wet air register in Old Man's House, Millenium Road,
crowning themselves in lauraly branches, with their cold knees and their
poor (up) quad rupeds, ovasleep, and all dolled up, for their blankets
and materny mufflers and plimsoles and their bowl of brown shackle
and milky and boterham clots, a potion a peace, a piece aportion, a lepel
alip, alup a lap, for a cup of kindest yet, with hold take hand and nurse
and only touch of ate, a lovely munkybown and for xmell and wait the
pinch and prompt poor Marcus Lyons to be not beheeding the skillet on
for the live of ghosses but to pass the teeth for choke sake, Amensch,
when it so happen they were all sycamore and by the world forgot, since
the phlegmish hoopicough, for all a possabled, after ete a bad cramp and
johnny magories, and backscrat the poor bedsores and the farthing dip,
their caschal pandle of magnegnousioum, and read a letter or two every
night, before going to dodo sleep atrance, with their catkins coifs, in the
twilight, a capitaletter, for further auspices, on their old one page codex
book of old year's eve 1132, M.M.L.J. old style, their Senchus Mor, by
his fellow girl, the Mrs Shemans, in her summer seal houseonsample,
with the caracul broadtail, her totam in tutu, final buff noonmeal edition,
in the regatta covers, uptenable from the orther, for to regul their reves
by incubation, and Lally, through their gangrene spentacles, and all the
good or they did in their time, the rigorists, for Roe and O'Mulcnory a
Conry ap Mul or Lap ap Morion and Buffler ap Matty Mac Gregory for
Marcus on Podex by Daddy de Wyer, old bagabroth, beeves and
scullogues, churls and vassals, in same, sept and severalty and one by
one and sing a mamalujo. To the heroest champion of Eren and his
braceoelanders and Gowan, Gawin and Gonne.

    And after that now in the future, please God, after nonpenal start, all
repeating ourselves, in medios loquos, from where he got a useful arm
busy on the touchline, due south of her western shoulder down to death
and the love embrace, with an interesting tallow complexion and all
now united, sansfamillias, let us ran on to say oremus prayer and
homeysweet homely, after fully realising the gratifying experiences of
highly continental evenements, for meter and peter to temple an eslaap,
for auld acquaintance, to Peregrine and Michael and Farfassa and
Peregrine, for navigants et peregrinantibus, in all the old imperial and
Fionnachan sea and for vogue awallow to a Miss Yiss, you fascinator,
you, sing a lovasteamadorion to Ladyseyes, here's Tricks and Doelsy,
delightfully ours, in her doaty ducky little blue and roll his hoop and
how she ran, when wit won free, the dimply blissed and awfully bucked,
right glad we never shall forget, thoh the dayses gone still they loves
young dreams and old Luke with his kingly leer, so wellworth watching,
and Senchus Mor, possessed of evident notoriety, and another more of
the bigtimers, to name no others, of whom great things were expected in
the fulmfilming department, for the lives of Lazarus and auld luke syne
and she haihaihail her kobbor kohinor sehehet on the praze savohole
shanghai.

    Hear, O hear, Iseult la belle! Tristan, sad hero, hear! The Lambeg
drum, the Lombog reed, the Lumbag fiferer, the Limibig brazenaze.



    Anno Domini nostri sancti Jesu Christi

    Nine hundred and ninetynine million pound sterling in the blueblack
bowels of the bank of Ulster.

    Braw bawbees and good gold pounds, galore, my girleen, a
Sunday'll prank thee finely.

    And no damn loutll come courting thee or by the mother of the Holy
Ghost there'll be murder!



    O, come all ye sweet nymphs of Dingle beach to cheer Brinabride
queen from Sybil surfriding
    In her curragh of shells of daughter of pearl and her
silverymonnblue mantle round her.

    Crown of the waters, brine on her brow, she'll dance them a jig and
jilt them fairly.

    Yerra, why would she bide with Sig Sloomysides or the grogram
grey barnacle gander?



    You won't need be lonesome, Lizzy my love, when your beau gets his
glut of cold meat and hot soldiering

    Nor wake in winter, window machree, but snore sung in my old
Balbriggan surtout.

    Wisha, won't you agree now to take me from the middle, say, of next
week on, for the balance of my days, for nothing (what?) as your own
nursetender?

    A power of highsteppers died game right enough — but who,
acushla, 'll beg coppers for you?



    I tossed that one long before anyone.

    It was of a wet good Friday too she was ironing and, as I'm given
now to understand, she was always mad gone on me.

    Grand goosegreasing we had entirely with an allnight eiderdown
bed picnic to follow.
    By the cross of Cong, says she, rising up Saturday in the twilight
from under me, Mick, Nick the Maggot or whatever your name is, you're
the mose likable lad that's come my ways yet from the barony of
Bohermore.



    Mattheehew, Markeehew, Lukeehew, Johnheehewheehew! Haw!

    And still a light moves long the river. And stiller the mermen ply
their keg.

    Its pith is full. The way is free. Their lot is cast.

    So, to john for a john, johnajeams, led it be!
Book III
   Chapter 1




   Hark!

   Tolv two elf kater ten (it can't be) sax.

   Hork!

   Pedwar pemp foify tray (it must be) twelve.

   And low stole o'er the stillness the heartbeats of sleep.

   White fogbow spans. The arch embattled. Mark as capsules. The
nose of the man who was nought like the nasoes. It is self tinted,
wrinkling, ruddled. His kep is a gorsecone. He am Gascon Titubante of
Tegmine - sub - Fagi whose fixtures are mobiling so wobiling befear my
remembrandts. She, exhibit next, his Anastashie. She has prayings in
lowdelph. Zeehere green eggbrooms. What named blautoothdmand is
yon who stares? Gugurtha! Gugurtha! He has becco of wild hindigan.
Ho, he hath hornhide! And hvis now is for you. Pensée! The most
beautiful of woman of the veilch veilchen veilde. She would kidds to
my voult of my palace, with obscidian luppas, her aal in her dhove's
suckling. Apagemonite! Come not nere! Black! Switch out!

    Methought as I was dropping asleep somepart in nonland of where's
please (and it was when you and they were we) I heard at zero hour as
'twere the peal of vixen's laughter among midnight's chimes from out
the belfry of the cute old speckled church tolling so faint a goodmantrue
as nighthood's unseen violet rendered all animated greatbritish and Irish
objects nonviewable to human watchers save 'twere perchance anon
some glistery gleam darkling adown surface of affluvial flowandflow as
again might seem garments of laundry reposing a leasward close at hand
in full expectation. And as I was jogging along in a dream as dozing I
was dawdling, arrah, methought broadtone was heard and the creepers
and the gliders and flivvers of the earth breath and the dancetongues of
the woodfires and the hummers in their ground all vociferated
echoating: Shaun! Shaun! Post the post! with a high voice and O, the
higher on high the deeper and low, I heard him so! And lo, mescemed
somewhat came of the noise and somewho might amove allmurk. Now,
'twas as clump, now mayhap. When look, was light and now 'twas as
flasher, now moren as the glaow. Ah, in unlitness 'twas in very
similitude, bless me, 'twas his belted lamp! Whom we dreamt was a
shaddo, sure, he's lightseyes, the laddo! Blessed momence, O romence,
he's growing to stay! Ay, he who so swayed a will of a wisp before me,
hand prop to hand, prompt side to the pros, dressed like an earl in just
the correct wear, in a classy mac Frieze o'coat of far suparior
ruggedness, indigo braw, tracked and tramped, and an Irish ferrier
collar, freeswinging with mereswin lacers from his shoulthern and thick
welted brogues on him hammered to suit the scotsmost public and
climate, iron heels and sparable soles, and his jacket of providence
wellprovided woolies with a softrolling lisp of a lapel to it and great
sealingwax buttons, a good helping bigger than the slots for them, of
twentytwo carrot krasnapoppsky red and his invulnerable burlap
whiskcoat and his popular choker, Tamagnum sette-and-forte and his
loud boheem toy and the damasker's overshirt he sported inside, a
starspangled zephyr with a decidedly surpliced crinklydoodle front with
his motto through dear life embrothred over it in peas, rice, and
yeggyyolk, Or for royal, Am for Mail, R.M.D. hard cash on the nail and
the most successfully carried gigot turnups now you ever, (what a
pairfact crease! how amsolookly kersse!) breaking over the ankle and
hugging the shoeheel, everything the best none other from (Ah, then
may the turtle's blessings of God and Mary and Haggispatrick and
Huggisbrigid be souptumbling all over him!) other than (and may his
hundred thousand welcome stewed letters, relayed wand postchased,
multiply, ay faith, and plultiply!) Shaun himself.
   What a picture primitive!

   Had I the concordant wiseheads of Messrs Gregory and Lyons
alongside of Dr Tarpey's and I dorsay the reverend Mr Mac Dougall's,
but I, poor ass, am but as their fourpart tinckler's dunkey. Yet
methought Shaun (holy messonger angels be uninterruptedly nudging
him among and along the winding ways of random ever!) Shaun in
proper person (now may all the blueblacksliding constellations continue
to shape his changeable timetable!) stood before me. And I pledge you
my agricultural word by the hundred and sixty odds rods and cones of
this even's vision that young fellow looked the stuff, the Bel of Beaus'
Walk, a prime card if ever was! Pep? Now without deceit it is hardly too
much to say he was looking grand, so fired smart, in much more than
his usual health. No mistaking that beamish brow! There was one for
you that ne'er would nunch with good Duke Humphrey but would aight
through the months without a sign of an err in hem and then, otherwise
rounding, fourale to the lees of Traroe. Those jehovial oyeglances! The
heart of the rool! And hit the hencoop. He was immense, topping swell
for he was after having a great time of it, a twentyfour hours every
moment matters maltsight, in a porterhouse, scutfrank, if you want to
know, Saint Lawzenge of Toole's, the Wheel of Fortune, leave your
clubs in the hall and wait on yourself, no chucks for walnut ketchups,
Lazenby's and Chutney graspis (the house the once queen of Bristol and
Balrothery twice admired because her frumped door looked up Dacent
Street) where in the sighed of lovely eyes while his knives of hearts
made havoc he had recruited his strength by meals of spadefuls of
mounded food, in anticipation of the faste of tablenapkins, constituting
his threepartite pranzipal meals plus a collation, his breakfast of first, a
bless us O blood and thirsthy orange, next, the half of a pint of becon
with newled googs and a segment of riceplummy padding, met of
sunder suigar and some cold forsoaken steak peatrefired from the
batblack night o'erflown then, without prejuice to evectuals, came along
merendally his stockpot dinner of a half a pound or round steak, very
rare, Blong's best from Portarlington's Butchery, with a side of
riceypeasy and Corkshire alla mellonge and bacon with (a little mar
pliche!) a pair of chops and thrown in from the silver grid by the
proprietoress of the roastery who lives on the hill and gaulusch gravy
and pumpernickel to wolp up and a gorger's bulby onion (Margareter,
Margaretar Margarasticandeatar) and as well with second course and
then finally, after his avalunch oclock snack at' Appelredt's or Kitzy
Braten's of saddlebag steak and a Botherhim with her old phoenix
portar, jistr to gwen his gwistel and praties sweet and Irish too and mock
gurgle to whistle his way through for the swallying, swp by swp, and he
getting his tongue arount it and Boland's broth broken into the bargain,
to his regret his soupay avic nightcap, vitellusit, a carusal consistent
with second course eyer and becon (the rich of) with broad beans, hig,
steak, hag, pepper the diamond bone hotted up timmtomm and
while'twas after that he scoffed a drakeling snuggily stuffed following
cold loin of veal more cabbage and in their green free state a clister of
peas, soppositorily petty, last. P.S. but a fingerhot of rheingenever to
give the Pax cum Spiritututu. Drily thankful. Burud and dulse and
typureely jam, all free of charge, aman, and. And the best of wine avec.
For his heart was as big as himself, so it was, ay, and bigger! While the
loaves are aflowering and the nachtingale jugs. All St Jilian's of Berry,
hurrah there for tobies! Mabhrodaphne, brown pride of our custard
house quay, amiable with repastful, cheerus graciously, cheer us! Ever
of thee, Anne Lynch, he's deeply draiming! Houseanna! Tea is the
Highest! For auld lang Ayternitay! Thus thicker will he grow now, grew
new. And better and better on butterand butter. At the sign of Mesthress
Vanhungrig. However! Mind you, nuckling down to nourritures, were
they menuly some ham and jaffas, and I don't mean to make the
ingestion for the moment that he was guilbey of gulpable gluttony as
regards chewable boltaballs, but, biestings be biestings, and upon the
whole, when not off his oats, given prelove appetite and postlove
pricing good coup, goodcheap, were it thermidor oogst or floreal may
while the whistling prairial roysters play, between gormandising and
gourmeteering, he grubbed his tuck all right, deah smorregos, every
time he was for doing dirt to a meal or felt like a bottle of ardilaun
arongwith a smag of a lecker biss of a welldressed taart or. Though his
net intrants wight weighed nought but a flyblow to his gross and ganz
afterduepoise. And he was so jarvey jaunty with a romp of a schoolgirl's
completion sitting pretty over his Oyster Monday print face and he was
plainly out on the ramp and mash, as you might say, for he sproke.

    Overture and beginners!
    When lo (whish, O whish!) mesaw mestreamed, as the green to the
gred was flew, was flown, through deafths of durkness greengrown
deeper I heard a voice, the voce of Shaun, vote of the Irish, voise from
afar (and cert no purer puer palestrine e'er chanted panangelical mid the
clouds of Tu es Petrus, not Michaeleen Kelly, not Mara O'Mario, and
sure, what more numerose Italicuss ever rawsucked frish uov in
urinal?), a brieze to Yverzone o'er the brozaozaozing sea, from
Inchigeela call the way how it suspired (morepork! morepork!) to
scented nightlife as softly as the loftly marconimasts from Clifden
sough open tireless secrets (mauveport! mauveport!) to Nova Scotia's
listing sisterwands. Tubetube!

    His handpalm lifted, his handshell cupped, his handsign pointed, his
handheart mated, his handaxe risen, his handleaf fallen. Helpsome hand
that holemost heals! What is het holy! It gested.

    And it said:

    - Alo, alass, aladdin, amobus! Does she lag soft fall means rest
down? Shaun yawned, as his general address rehearsal, (that was
antepropreviousday's pigeons-in-a-pie with rough dough for the carrier
and the hash-say-ugh of overgestern pluzz the 'stuesday's shampain in
his head, with the memories of the past and the hicnuncs of the present
embelliching the musics of the futures from Miccheruni's band)
addressing himself ex alto and complaining with vocal discontent it was
so close as of the fact the rag was up and of the briefs and billpasses, a
houseful of deadheads, of him to dye his paddycoats to morn his hestern
most earning, his board in the swealth of his fate as, having moistened
his manducators upon the quiet and scooping molars and grinders clean
with his two fore fingers, he sank his hunk, dowanouet to resk at once,
exhaust as winded hare, utterly spent, it was all he could do (disgusted
with himself that the combined weight of his tons of iosals was a
hundred men's massed too much for him), upon the native heath he
loved covered kneehigh with virgin bush, for who who e'er trod sod of
Erin could ever sleep off the turf! Well, I'm liberally dished seeing
myself in this trim! How all too unwordy am I, a mere mailman of
peace, a poor loust hastehater of the first degree, the principot of
Candia, no legs and a title, for such eminence, or unpro promenade
rather, to be much more exact, as to be the bearer extraordinary of these
postoomany missive on his majesty's service while me and yous and
them we're extending us after the pattern of reposiveness! Weh is me,
yeh is ye! I, the mightif beam maircanny, which bit his mirth too early
or met his birth too late! It should of been my other with his leickname
for he's the head and I'm an everdevoting fiend of his. I can seeze
tomirror in tosdays of yer when we lofobsed os so ker. Those sembal
simon pumpkel pieman yers! We shared the twin chamber and we
winked on the one wench and what Sim sobs todie I'll reeve tomorry,
for 'twill be, I have hopes of, Sam Dizzier's feedst. Tune in, tune on, old
Tighe, high, high, high, I'm thine owelglass. Be old! He looks rather
thin, imitating me. I'm very fond of that other of mine. Fish hands
Macsorley! Elien! Obsequies! Bonzeye! Isaac Egari's Ass! We're the
musichall pair that won the swimmyease bladdhers at the Guinness gala
in Badeniveagh. I ought not to laugh with him on this stage. But he'
such a game loser! I lift my disk to him. Brass and reeds, brace and
ready! How is your napper, Handy, and hownow does she stand? First
he was living to feel what the eldest daughter she was panseying and
last he was dying to know what old Madre Patriack does be up to. Take
this John's Lane in your toastingfourch. Shaunti and shaunti and shaunti
again! And twelve coolinder moons! I am no helotwashipper but I
revere her! For my own coant! She has studied! Piscisvendolor! You're
grace! Futs dronk of Wouldndom! But, Gemini, he's looking frightfully
thin! I heard the man Shee shinging in the pantry bay. Down among the
dustbins let him lie! Ear! Ear! Not ay! Eye! Eye! For I'm at the heart of
it. Yet I cannot on my solemn merits as a recitativer recollect ever
having done of anything of the kind to deserve of such. Not the phost of
a nation! Nor by a long trollop! I just didn't have the time to. Saint
Anthony Guide!

    - But have we until now ever besought you, dear Shaun, we
remembered, who it was, good boy, to begin with, who out of
symphony gave you the permit?

    - Goodbye now, Shaun replied, with a voice pure as a churchmode,
in echo rightdainty, with a good catlick tug at his cocomoss candylock,
a foretaste in time of his cabbageous brain's curlyflower. Athiacaro!
Comb his tar odd gee sing your mower O meeow? Greet thee Good?
How are them columbuses! Lard have mustard on them! Fatiguing, very
fatiguing. Hobos homknees and the corveeture of my spine.
Poumeerme! My heaviest crux and dairy lot it is, with a bed as hard as
the thinkamuddles of the Greeks and a board as bare as a Roman altar.
I'm off rabbited kitchens and relief porridgers. No later than a very few
fortnichts since I was meeting on the Thinker's Dam with a pair of men
out of glasshouse whom I shuffled hands with named MacBlacks - I
think their names is MacBlakes - from the Headfire Clump - and they
were improving me and making me beliek no five hour factory life with
insufficient emollient and industrial disabled for them that day
o'gratises. I have the highest gratification by anuncing how I have it
from whowho but Hagios Colleenkiller's prophecies. After suns and
moons, dews and wettings, thunders and fires, comes sabotag. Solvitur
palumballando! Tilvido! Adie!

    - Then, we explained, salve a tour, ambly andy, you possibly might
be so by order?

    - Forgive me, Shaun repeated from his liquid lipes, not what I wants
to do a strike of work but it was condemned on me premitially by
Hireark Books and Chiefoverseer Cooks in their Eusebian Concordant
Homilies and there does be a power com ing over me that is put upon
me from on high out of the book of breedings and so as it is becoming
hairydittary I have of coerce nothing in view to look forward at unless it
is Swann and beating the blindquarters out of my oldfellow's orologium
oloss olorium. A bad attack of maggot it feels like. 'Tis trope, custodian
said. Almost might I say of myself, while keeping out of crime, I am
now becoming about fed up be going circulating about them new
hikler's highways like them nameless souls, ercked and skorned and
grizzild all over, till it's rusty October in this bleak forest and was
veribally complussed by thinking of the crater of some noted volcano or
the Dublin river or the catchalot trouth subsidity as away out or to
isolate i from my multiple Mes on the spits of Lumbage Island or bury
meself, clogs, coolcellar and all, deep in my wineupon ponteen unless
Morrissey's colt could help me or the gander maybe at 49 as it is a tithe
fish so it is, this pig's stomach business, and where on dearth or in the
miraculous meddle of this expending umniverse to turn since it came
into my hands I am hopeless off course to be doing anything
concerning.

    - We expect you are, honest Shaun, we agreed, but from franking
machines, limricked, that in the end it may well turn out, we hear to be
you, our belated, who will bear these open letter. Speak to us of
Emailia.

    - As, Shaun replied patly, with tootlepick tact too and a down of his
dampers, to that I have the gumpower and, by the benison of Barbe, that
is a lock to say with everything, my beloved.

    - Would you mind telling us, Shaun honey, beg little big moreboy,
we proposed to such a dear youth, where mostly are you able to work.
Ah, you might! Whimper and we shall.

    - Here! Shaun replied, while he was fondling one of his cowheel
cuffs. There's no sabbath for nomads and I mostly was able to walk,
being too soft for work proper, sixty odd eilish mires a week between
three masses a morn and two chaplets at eve. I am always telling those
pedestriasts, my answerers, Top, Sid and Hucky, now (and it is a veriest
throth as the thieves' re scension) how it was forstold for me by brevet
for my vacation in life while possessing stout legs to be disbarred after
holy orders from unnecessary servile work of reckless walking of all
sorts for the relics of my time for otherwise by my so douching I would
get into a blame there where sieves fall out, Excelsior tips the best.
Weak stop work stop walk stop whoak. Go thou this island, one
housesleep there, then go thou other island, two housesleep there, then
catch one nightmaze, then home to dearies. Never back a woman you
defend, never get quit of a friend on whom you depend never make face
to a foe till he's rife and never get stuck to another man's pfife. Amen,
ptah! His hungry will be done! On the continent as in Eironesia. But
believe me in my simplicity I am awful good, I believe, so I am, at the
root of me, praised be right cheek Discipline! And I can now truthfully
declaret before my Geity's Pantokreator with my fleshfettered palms on
the epizzles of the apossels that I do my reasonabler's best to recite my
grocery beans for mummy mit dummy mot muthar mat bonzar regular,
genuflections enclosed. Hek domov muy, there thou beest on the
hummock, ghee up, ye dog, for your daggily broth, etc., Happy Maria
and Glorious Patrick, etc., etc. In fact, always, have I believe. Greedo!
Her's me hongue!
    - And it is the fullsoot of a tarabred. Yet one minute's observation,
dear dogmestic Shaun, as we point out how you have while away
painted our town a wearing greenridinghued.

    - O murder mere, how did you hear? Shaun replied, smoiling the ily
way up his lampsleeve (it just seemed the natural thing to do), so shy of
light was he then. Well, so be it! The gloom hath rays, her lump is love.
And I will confess to have, yes. Your diogneses is anonest man's.
Thrubedore I did! Inditty I did. All lay I did. Down with the Saozon
ruze! And I am afraid it wouldn't be my first coat's wasting after striding
on the vampire and blazing on the focoal. See! blazing on the focoal. As
see! blazing upon the foe. Like the regular redshank I am. Impregnable
as the mule himself. Somebody may perhaps hint at an aughter
impression of I was wrong. No such a thing! You never made a more
freudful mistake, excuse yourself! What's pork to you means meat to me
while you behold how I be eld. But it is grandiose by my ways of
thinking from the prophecies. New worlds for all! And they were
scotographically arranged for gentlemen only by a scripchewer in
whofoundland who finds he is a relative. And it was with my extravert
davy. Like glue. Be through. Moyhard's daynoight, tomthumb. Phwum!

    - How mielodorous is thy bel chant, O songbird, and how exqueezit
thine after draught! Buccinate in Emenia tuba insigni volumnitatis tuae.
But do you mean, O phausdheen phewn, from Pontoffbellek till the
Kisslemerched our ledan triz will be? we gathered substantively whether
furniture would or verdure varnish?
    - It is a confoundyous injective so to say, Shaun the fiery boy
shouted, naturally incensed, as he shook the red pepper out of his
auricles. And another time please confine your glaring intinuations to
some other mordant body. What on the physiog of this furnaced planet
would I be doing besides your verjuice? That is more than I can fix, for
the teom bihan, anyway. So let I and you now kindly drop that,
angryman! That's not French pastry. You can take it from me.
Understand me when I tell you (and I will ask you not to whisple, cry
golden or quoth mecback) that under the past purcell's office, so deeply
deplored by my erstwhile elder friend, Miss Enders, poachmistress and
gay receiver ever for in particular to the Scotic Poor Men's Thousand
Gallon Cow Society (I was thinking of her in sthore) allbethey blessed
with twentytwo thousand sorters out of a biggest poss of twentytwo
thousand, mine's won, too much privet stationery and safty quipu was
ate up larchly by those nettlesome goats out of pension greed. Colpa di
Becco, buon apartita! Proceding, I will say it is also one of my avowal's
intentions, at some time pease Pod pluse murthers of gout (when I am
not prepared to say) so apt as my pen is upt to scratch, to compound
quite the makings of a verdigrease savingsbook in the form of a pair of
capri sheep boxing gloves surrounding this matter of the Welsfusel
mascoteers and their sindybuck that saved a city for my publickers,
Nolaner and Browno, Nickil Hopstout, Christcross, so long as, thanks to
force of destiny, my selary as a paykelt is propaired, and there is a peg
under me and there is a tum till me.
    To the Very Honourable The Memory of Disgrace, the Most Noble,
Sometime Sweepyard at the Service of the Writer. Salutem dicint. The
just defunct Mrs Sanders who (the Loyd insure her!) I was shift and
shuft too, with her shester Mrs Shunders, both mudical dauctors from
highschoolhorse and aslyke as Easther's leggs. She was the niceliest
person of a wellteached nonparty woman that I ever acquired her letters,
only too fat, used to babies and tottydean verbish this is her
entertermentdags for she shuk the bottle and tuk the medascene all times
a day. She was well under ninety, poor late Mrs, and had tastes of the
poetics, me having stood the pilgarlick a fresh at sea when the moon
also was standing in a corner of sweet Standerson my ski. P.L.M
Mevrouw von Andersen was her whogave me a muttonbrooch, stakkers
for her begfirst party. Honour thy farmer and my litters. This, my tears,
is my last will intesticle wrote off in the strutforit about their absent
female assauciations which I, or perhaps any other person what squaton
a toffette, have the honour to had upon their polite sophykussens in the
real presence of devouted Mrs Grumby when her skin was exposed to
the air. O what must the grief of my mund be for two little ptpt coolies
worth twenty thousand quad herewitdnessed with both's maddlemass
wishes to Pepette for next match from their dearly beloved Roggers,
M.D.D. O.D. May doubling drop of drooght! Writing.

    - Hopsoloosely kidding you are totether with your cadenus and goat
along nose how we shall complete that white paper. Two venusstas!
Biggerstiff! Qweer but gaon! Be trouz and wholetrouz! Otherwise, frank
Shaun, we pursued, what would be the autobiography of your
softbodied fumiform?

       - Hooraymost! None whomsoever, Shaun replied, Heavenly blank!
(he had intentended and was peering now rather close to the paste of his
rubiny winklering) though it ought to be more or less rawcawcaw
romantical. By the wag, how is Mr Fry? All of it, I might say, in ex-
voto, pay and perks and wooden halfpence, some rhino, rhine, O joyoust
rhine, was handled over spondaneously by me (and bundle end to my
illwishers' Miss Anders! she woor her wraith of ruins the night she lost I
left!) in the ligname of Mr van Howten of Tredcastles, Clowntalkin,
timbreman, among my prodigits nabobs and navious of every
subscription entitled the Bois in the Boscoor, our evicted tenemants.
What I say is (and I am noen roehorn or culkilt permit me to tell you, if
uninformed), I never spont it. Nor have I the ghuest of innation on me
the way to. It is my rule so. It went anyway like hot pottagebake. And
this brings me to my fresh point. Quoniam, I am as plain as portable
enveloped, inhowmuch, you will now parably receive, care of one of
Mooseyeare Goonness's registered andouterthus barrels. Quick take um
whiffat andrainit. Now!

       - So vi et! we responded. Song! Shaun, song! Have mood! Hold
forth!

       - I apologuise, Shaun began, but I would rather spinooze you one
from the grimm gests of Jacko and Esaup, fable one, feeble too. Let us
here       consider    the    casus,     my      dear     little   cousis
(husstenhasstencaffincoffintussemtossemdamandamnacosaghcusaghhob
ixhatouxpeswchbechoscashlcarcarcaract)         of   the    Ondt    and    the
Gracehoper.

      The Gracehoper was always jigging ajog, hoppy on akkant of his
joyicity, (he had a partner pair of findlestilts to supplant him), or, if not,
he was always making ungraceful overtures to Floh and Luse and
Bienie and Vespatilla to play pupa-pupa and pulicy-pulicy and
langtennas and pushpygyddyum and to commence insects with him,
there mouthparts to his orefice and his gambills to there airy processes,
even if only in chaste, ameng the everlistings, behold a waspering pot.
He would of curse melissciously, by his fore feelhers, flexors,
contractors, depressors and extensors, lamely, harry me, marry me, bury
me, bind me, till she was puce for shame and allso fourmish her in
Spinner's housery at the earthsbest schoppinhour so summery as his
cottage, which was cald fourmillierly Tingsomingenting, groped up. Or,
if he was always striking up funny funereels with Besterfarther Zeuts,
the Aged One, With all his wigeared corollas, albe                dinous and
oldbuoyant, inscythe his elytrical wormcasket and Dehlia and Peonia,
his    druping   nymphs,     bewheedling     him,    compound      eyes    on
hornitosehead, and Auld Letty Plussiboots to scratch his cacumen and
cackle his tramsitus, diva deborah (seven bolls of sapo, a lick of lime,
two spurts of fussfor, threefurts of sulph, a shake o'shouker, doze grains
of migniss and a mesfull of midcap pitchies. The whool of the whaal in
the wheel of the whorl of the Boubou from Bourneum has thus come to
taon!), and with tambarins and cantoridettes soturning around his
eggshill rockcoach their dance McCaper in retrophoebia, beck from
bulk, like fantastic disossed and jenny aprils, to the ra, the ra, the ra, the
ra, langsome heels and langsome toesis, attended to by a mutter and
doffer duffmatt baxingmotch and a myrmidins of pszozlers pszinging
Satyr's Caudledayed Nice and Hombly, Dombly Sod We Awhile but Ho,
Time Timeagen, Wake! For if sciencium (what's what) can mute uns
nought, 'a thought, abought the Great Sommboddy within the Omniboss,
perhops an artsaccord (hoot's hoot) might sing ums tumtim abutt the
Little Newbuddies that ring his panch. A high old tide for the barheated
publics and the whole day as gratiis! Fudder and lighting for ally looty,
any filly in a fog, for O'Cronione lags acrumbling in his sands but his
sunsunsuns still tumble on. Erething above ground, as his Book of
Breathings bed him, so as everwhy, sham or shunner, zeemliangly to
kick time.

    Grouscious me and scarab my sahul! What a bagateller it is!
Libelulous! Inzanzarity! Pou! Pschla! Ptuh! What a zeit for the goths!
vented the Ondt, who, not being a sommerfool, was thothfolly making
chilly spaces at hisphex affront of the icinglass of his windhame, which
was cold antitopically Nixnixundnix. We shall not come to party at that
lopp's, he decided possibly, for he is not on our social list. Nor to Ba's
berial nether, thon sloghard, this oldeborre's yaar ablong as there's a
khul on a khat. Nefersenless, when he had safely looked up his
ovipository, he loftet hails and prayed: May he me no voida water!
Seekit Hatup! May no he me tile pig shed on! Suckit Hotup! As broad
as Beppy's realm shall flourish my reign shall flourish! As high as
Heppy's hevn shall flurrish my haine shall hurrish! Shall grow, shall
flourish! Shall hurrish! Hummum.

    The Ondt was a weltall fellow, raumybult and abelboobied, bynear
saw altitudinous wee a schelling in kopfers. He was sair sair sullemn
and chairmanlooking when he was not making spaces in his psyche, but,
laus! when he wore making spaces on his ikey, he ware mouche mothst
secred and muravyingly wisechairmanlooking. Now whim the sillybilly
of a Gracehoper had jingled through a jungle of love and debts and
jangled through a jumble of life in doubts afterworse, wetting with the
bimblebeaks, drikking with nautonects, bilking with durrydunglecks and
horing after ladybirdies (ichnehmon diagelegenaitoikon) he fell joust as
sieck as a sexton and tantoo pooveroo quant a churchprince, and wheer
the midges to wend hemsylph or vosch to sirch for grub for his
corapusse or to find a hospes, alick, he wist gnit! Bruko dry! fuko spint!
Sultamont     osa     bare!     And      volomundo       osi    videvide!
Nichtsnichtsundnichts! Not one pickopeck of muscowmoney to bag a
tittlebits of beebread! Iomio! Iomio! Crick's corbicule, which a plight! O
moy Bog, he contrited with melanctholy. Meblizzered, him sluggered! I
am heartily hungry!

    He had eaten all the whilepaper, swallowed the lustres, devoured
forty flights of styearcases, chewed up all the mensas and seccles,
ronged the records, made mundballs of the ephemerids and vorasioused
most glutinously with the very timeplace in the ternitary - not too dusty
a cicada of neutriment for a chittinous chip so mitey. But when
Chrysalmas     was   on    the   bare   branches,    off   he   went   from
Tingsomingenting. He took a round stroll and he took a stroll round and
he took a round strollagain till the grillies in his head and the leivnits in
his hair made him thought he had the Tossmania. Had he twicycled the
sees of the deed and trestraversed their revermer? Was he come to hevre
with his engiles or gone to hull with the poop? The June snows was
flocking in thuckflues on the hegelstomes, millipeeds of it and
myriopoods, and a lugly whizzling tournedos, the Boraborayellers,
blohablasting tegolhuts up to tetties and ruching sleets off the
coppeehouses, playing ragnowrock rignewreck, with an irritant,
penetrant, siphonopterous spuk. Grausssssss! Opr! Grausssssss! Opr!

    The Gracehoper who, though blind as batflea, yet knew, not a leetle
beetle, his good smetterling of entymology asped nissunitimost lous nor
liceens but promptly tossed himself in the vico, phthin and phthir, on
top of his buzzer, tezzily wondering wheer would his aluck alight or
boss of both appease and the next time he makes the aquinatance of the
Ondt after this they have met themselves, these mouschical
umsummables, it shall be motylucky if he will beheld not a world of
differents. Behailed His Gross the Ondt, prostrandvorous upon his
dhrone, in his Papylonian babooshkees, smolking a spatial brunt of
Hosana cigals, with unshrinkables farfalling from his unthinkables,
swarming of himself in his sunnyroom, sated before his comfortumble
phullupsuppy of a plate o'monkynous and a confucion of minthe (for he
was a conformed aceticist and aristotaller), as appi as a oneysucker or a
baskerboy on the Libido, with Floh biting his leg thigh and Luse
lugging his luff leg and Bieni bussing him under his bonnet and
Vespatilla blowing cosy fond tutties up the allabroad length of the large
of his smalls. As entomate as intimate could pinchably be. Emmet and
demmet and be jiltses crazed and be jadeses whipt! schneezed the
Gracehoper, aguepe with ptchjelasys and at his wittol's indts, what have
eyeforsight!

    The Ondt, that true and perfect host, a spiter aspinne, was making
the greatest spass a body could with his queens laceswinging for he was
spizzing all over him like thingsumanything in formicolation,
boundlessly blissfilled in an allallahbath of houris. He was ameising
himself hugely at crabround and marypose, chasing Floh out of charity
and tickling Luse, I hope too, and tackling Bienie, faith, as well, and
jucking Vespatilla jukely by the chimiche. Never did Dorsan from
Dunshanagan dance it with more devilry! The veripatetic imago of the
impossible Gracehoper on his odderkop in the myre, after his thrice
ephemeral journeeys, sans mantis ne shooshooe, featherweighed
animule, actually and presumptuably sinctifying chronic's despair, was
sufficiently and probably coocoo much for his chorous of gravitates. Let
him be Artalone the Weeps with his parisites peeling off him I'll be
Highfee the Crackasider. Flunkey Footle furloughed foul, writing off his
phoney, but Conte Carme makes the melody that mints the money. Ad
majorem l.s.d.! Divi gloriam. A darkener of the threshold. Haru?
Orimis, capsizer of his antboat, sekketh rede from Evil-it-is, lord of
loaves in Amongded. Be it! So be it! Thou-who-thou-art, the fleet-as-
spindhrift, impfang thee of mine wideheight. Haru!

   The thing pleased him andt, and andt,



   He larved ond he larved on he merd such a nauses

   The Gracehoper feared he would mixplace his fauces.

   I forgive you, grondt Ondt, said the Gracehoper, weeping,

   For their sukes of the sakes you are safe in whose keeping.

   Teach Floh and Luse polkas, show Bienie where's sweet

   And be sure Vespatilla fines fat ones to heat.

   As I once played the piper I must now pay the count

   So saida to Moyhammlet and marhaba to your Mount!

   Let who likes lump above so what flies be a full 'un;

   I could not feel moregruggy if this was prompollen.

   I pick up your reproof, the horsegift of a friend,

   For the prize of your save is the price of my spend.

   Can castwhores pulladeftkiss if oldpollocks forsake 'em

   Or Culex feel etchy if Pulex don't wake him?

   A locus to loue, a term it t'embarass,
These twain are the twins that tick Homo Vulgaris.

Has Aquileone nort winged to go syf

Since the Gwyfyn we were in his farrest drewbryf

And that Accident Man not beseeked where his story ends

Since longsephyring sighs sought heartseast for their orience?

We are Wastenot with Want, precondamned, two and true,

Till Nolans go volants and Bruneyes come blue.

Ere those gidflirts now gadding you quit your mocks for my gropes

An extense must impull, an elapse must elopes,

Of my tectucs takestock, tinktact, and ail's weal;

As I view by your farlook hale yourself to my heal.

Partiprise my thinwhins whiles my blink points unbroken on

Your whole's whercabroads with Tout's trightyright token on.

My in risible universe youdly haud find

Sulch oxtrabeeforeness meat soveal behind.

Your feats end enormous, your volumes immense,

(May the Graces I hoped for sing your Ondtship song sense!),

Your genus its worldwide, your spacest sublime!

But, Holy Saltmartin, why can't you beat time?
    In the name of the former and of the latter and of their holocaust.
Allmen.

    - Now? How good you are in explosition! How farflung is your
fokloire and how velktingeling your volupkabulary! Qui vive sparanto
qua muore contanto. O foibler, O flip, you've that wandervogl wail
withyin! It falls easily upon the earopen and goes down the friskly
shortiest like treacling tumtim with its tingtingtaggle. The blarneyest
blather in all Corneywall! But could you, of course, decent Lettrechaun,
we knew (to change your name of not your nation) while still in the
barrel, read the strangewrote anaglyptics of those shemletters patent for
His Christian's Em?

    - Greek! Hand it to me! Shaun replied, plosively pointing to the
cinnamon quistoquill behind his acoustrolobe. I'm as afterdusk nobly
Roman as pope and water could christen me. Look at that for a
ridingpin! I am, thing Sing Larynx, letter potent to play the sem
backwards like Oscan wild or in shunt Persse transluding from the
Otherman or off the Toptic or anything off the types of my finklers in
the draught or with buttles, with my oyes thickshut and all. But, hellas,
it is harrobrew bad on the corns and callouses. As far as that goes I
associate myself with your remark just now from theodicy re'furloined
notepaper and quite agree in your prescriptions for indeed I am, pay
Gay, in juxtaposition to say it is not a nice production. It is a pinch of
scribble, not wortha bottle of cabbis. Overdrawn! Puffedly offal tosh!
Besides its auctionable, all about crime and libel! Nothing beyond
clerical horrors et omnibus to be entered for the foreign as secondclass
matter. The fuellest filth ever fired since Charley Lucan's. Flummery is
what I would call it if you were to ask me to put it on a single dimension
what pronounced opinion I might possibly orally have about them
bagses of trash which the mother and Mr Unmentionable (O breed not
his same!) has reduced to writing without making news out of my
sootynemm. When she slipped under her couchman. And where he
made a cat with a peep. How they wore two madges on the makewater.
And why there were treefellers in the shrubrubs. Then he hawks his
handmud figgers from Francie to Fritzie down in the kookin. Phiz is me
mother and Hair's me father. Bauv Betty Famm and Pig Pig Pike. Their
livetree (may it flourish!) by their ecotaph (let it stayne!). With balsinbal
bimbies swarming tiltop. Comme bien, Comme bien! Feefeel! Feefeel!
And the Dutches dyin loffin at his pon peck de Barec. And all the
mound reared. Till he wot not wot to begin he should. An infant sailing
eggshells on the floor of a wet day would have more sabby.

    Letter, carried of Shaun, son of Hek, written of Shem, brother of
Shaun, uttered for Alp, mother of Shem, for Hek, father of Shaun.
Initialled. Gee. Gone. 29 Hardware Saint. Lendet till Laonum. Baile-
Atha-Cliath. 31 Jan. 1132 A.D. Here Commerces Enville. Tried
Apposite House. 13 Fitzgibbets. Loco. Dangerous. Tax 9d. B.L.
Guineys, esqueer. L.B. Not known at 1132 a. 12 Norse Richmound.
Nave unlodgeable. Loved noa's dress. Sinned, Jetty Pierrse. Noon sick
parson. 92 Windsewer. Ave. No such no. Vale. Finn's Hot. Exbelled
from 1014 d. Pulldown. Fearview. Opened by Miss Take. 965
nighumpledan sextiffits. Shout at Site. Roofloss. Fit Dunlop and Be
Satisfied. Mr. Domnall O'Domnally. Q.V. 8 Royal Terrors. None so
strait. Shutter up. Dining with the Danes. Removed to Philip's Burke. At
sea. D.E.D. Place scent on. Clontalk. Father Jacob, Rice Factor. 3
Castlewoos. P.V. Arrusted. J.P. Converted to Hospitalism. Ere the
March past of Civilisation. Once Bank of Ireland's. Return to City
Arms. 2 Milchbroke. Wrongly spilled. Traumcondraws. Now Bunk of
England's. Drowned in the Laffey. Here. The Reverest Adam
Foundlitter. Shown geshotten. 7 Streetpetres. Since Cabranke. Seized of
the Crownd. Well, Sir Arthur. Buy Patersen's Matches. Unto his
promisk hands. Blown up last Lemmas by Orchid Lodge. Search
Unclaimed Male. House Condamned by Ediles. Back in Few Minutes.
Closet for Repeers. 60 Shellburn. Key at Kate's. Kiss. Isaac's Butt, Poor
Man. Dalicious arson. Caught. Missing. Justiciated. Kainly forewarred.
Abraham Badly's King, Park Bogey. Salved. All reddy berried. Hollow
and eavy. Desert it. Overwayed. Understrumped. Back to the P.O. Kaer
of. Ownes owe M.O. Too Let. To Be Soiled. Cohabited by
Unfortunates. Lost all Licence. His Bouf Toe is Frozen Over. X, Y and
Z, Ltd, Destinied Tears. A.B, ab, Sender. Boston (Mass). 31 Jun. 13, 12.
P.D. Razed. Lawyered. Vacant. Mined. Here's the Bayleaffs. Step out to
Hall out of that, Ereweaker, with your Bloody Big Bristol. Bung. Stop.
Bung. Stop. Cumm Bumm. Stop. Came Baked to Auld Aireen. Stop.
    - Kind Shaun, we all requested, much as we hate to say it, but since
you rose to the use of money have you not, without suggesting for an
instant, millions of moods used up slanguage tun times as words as the
penmarks used out in sinscript with such hesitancy by your cerebrated
brother - excuse me not mentioningahem?

    - CelebrAted! Shaun replied under the sheltar of his broguish,
vigorously rubbing his magic lantern to a glow of fullconsciousness.
HeCitEncy! Your words grates on my ares. Notorious I rather would
feel inclined to myself in the first place to describe Mr O'Shem the
Draper with before letter as should I be accentually called upon for a
dieoguinnsis to pass my opinions, properly spewing, into impulsory
irelitz. But I would not care to be so unfruitful to my own part as to
swear for the moment positively as to the views of Denmark. No, sah!
But let me say my every belief before my high Gee is that I much doubt
of it. I've no room for that fellow on my fagroaster, I just can't. As I
hourly learn from Rooters and Havers through Gilligan's maypoles in a
nice pathetic notice he, the pixillated doodler, is on his last with illegible
clergimanths boasting always of his ruddy complexious! She, the
mammy far, was put up to it by him, the iniquity that ought to be
depraved of his libertins to be silenced, sackclothed and suspended, and
placed in irons into some drapyery institution off the antipopees for
wordsharping only if he was klanver enough to pass the panel
fleischcurers and the fieldpost censor. Gach! For that is a fullblown fact
and well celibated before the four divorce courts and all the King's
paunches, how he has the solitary from seeing Scotch snakes and has a
lowsense for the production of consumption and dalickey cyphalos on
his brach premises where he can purge his contempt and dejeunerate
into a skillyton be thinking himself to death. Rot him! Flannelfeet!
Flattyro! I will describe you in a word. Thou. (I beg your pardon.)
Homo! Then putting his bedfellow on me! (like into mike and nick onto
post). The criniman: I'll give it to him for that! Making the lobbard
change hisstops, as we say in the long book! Is he on whosekeeping or
are my! Obnoximost posthumust! With his unique hornbook and his
prince of the apauper's pride, blundering all over the two worlds! If he
waits till I buy him a mosselman's present! Ho's nos halfcousin of mine,
pigdish! Nor wants to! I'd famish with the cuistha first. Aham!

    - May we petition you, Shaun illustrious, then, to put his prentis'
pride in your aproper's purse and to unravel in your own sweet way with
words of style to your very and most obsequient, we suggested, with yet
an esiop's foible, as to how?

    - Well it is partly my own, isn't it? and you may, ought and
welcome, Shaun replied, taking at the same time, as his hunger got the
bitter of him, a hearty bite out of the honeycomb of his Braham and
Melosedible hat, tryone, tryon and triune. Ann wunkum. Sure, I
thunkum you knew all about that, honorey causes, through thelemontary
channels long agum. Sure, that is as old as the Baden bees of Saint
Dominoc's and as commonpleas now to allus pueblows and bunkum as
Nelson his trifulgurayous pillar. However. Let me see, do. Beerman's
bluff was what begun it, Old Knoll and his borrowing! And then the
liliens of the veldt, Nancy Nickies and Folletta Lajambe! Then mem and
hem and the jaquejack. All about Wucherer and righting his name for
him. I regret to announce, after laying out his litterery bed, for two days
she kept squealing down for noisy priors and bawling out to her
jameymock farceson in Shemish like a mouther of the incas with a
garcielasso huw Ananymus pinched her tights and about the Balt with
the markshaire parawag and his loyal divorces, when he feraxiously
shed ovas in Alemaney, tse tse, all the tell of the tud with the
bourighevisien backclack, and him, the cribibber like an ambitrickster,
aspiring like the decan's, fast aslooped in the intrance to his
polthronechair with his sixth finger between his catseye and the index,
making his pillgrimace of Childe Horrid, engrossing to his ganderpan
what the idioglossary he invented under hicks hyssop! Hock! Ickick gav
him that toock, imitator! And it was entirely theck latter to blame. Does
he drink because I am sorely there shall be no more Kates and Nells. If
you see him it took place there. It was given meeck, thank the Bench, to
assist at the whole thing byck special chancery licence. As often as I
think of that unbloody housewarmer, Shem Skrivenitch, always cutting
my prhose to please his phrase, bogorror, I declare I get the jawache! Be
me punting his reflection he'd begin his beogrefright in muddyass
ribalds. Digteter! Grundtsagar! Swop beef! You know he's peculiar, that
eggschicker, with the smell of old woman off him, to suck nothing of
his switchedupes. M.D. made his ante mortem for him. He was grey at
three, like sygnus the swan, when he made his boo to the public and
barnacled up to the eyes when he repented after seven. The alum that
winters on his top is the stale of the staun that will soar when he
stambles till that hag of the coombe rapes the pad off his lock. He was
down with the whooping laugh at the age of the loss of reason the
whopping first time he prediseased me. He's weird, I tell you, and
middayevil down to his vegetable soul. Never mind his falls feet and his
tanbark complexion. That's why he was forbidden tomate and was
warmed off the ricecourse of marrimoney, under the Helpless Corpses
Enactment. I'm not at all surprised the saint kicked him whereby the
sum taken Berkeley showed the reason genrously. Negas, negasti -
negertop, negertoe, negertoby, negrunter! Then he was pusched out of
Thingamuddy's school by Miss Garterd, for itching. Then he caught the
europicolas and went into the society of jewses. With Bro Cahlls and
Fran Czeschs and Bruda Pszths and Brat Slavos. One temp when he
foiled to be killed, the freak wanted to put his bilingual head
intentionally through the Ikish Tames and go and join the clericy as a
demonican skyterrier. Throwing dust in the eyes of the Hooley Fermers!
He used to be avowdeed as he ought to be vitandist. For onced I
squeaked by twyst I'll squelch him. Then he went to Cecilia's treat on
his solo to pick up Galen. Asbestopoulos! Inkupot! He has encaust in
the blood. Shim! I have the outmost contempt for. Prost bitten! Conshy!
Tiberia is waiting on you, arestocrank! Chaka a seagull ticket at
Gattabuia and Gabbiano's! Go o'er the sea, haythen, from me and leave
your libber to TCD. Your puddin is cooked! You're served, cram ye!
Fatefully yaourth . . . Ex. Ex. Ex. Ex.
    - But for what, thrice truthful teller, Shaun of grace? weakly we
went on to ask now of the gracious one. Vouchsafe to say. You will
now, goodness, won't you? Why?

    - For his root language, if you ask me whys, Shaun replied, as he
blessed himself devotionally like a crawsbomb, making act of oblivion,
footinmouther! (what the thickuns else?) which he picksticked into his
lettruce                                                       invrention.
Ullhodturdenweirmudgaardgringnirurdrmolnirfenrirlukkilokkibaugiman
dodrrerinsurtkrinmgernrackinarockar! Thor's for yo!

    - The hundredlettered name again, last word of perfect language.
But you could come near it, we do suppose, strong Shaun O', we
foresupposed. How?

    - Peax! Peax! Shaun replied in vealar penultimatum. 'Tis pebils
before Sweeney's as he swigged a slug of Jon Jacobsen from his
treestem sucker cane. Mildbut likesome! I might as well be talking to
the four waves till tibbes grey eves and the rests asleep. Frost! Nope! No
one in his seven senses could as I have before said, only you missed my
drift, for it's being incendiary. Every dimmed letter in it is a copy and
not a few of the silbils and wholly words I can show you in my
Kingdom of Heaven. The lowquacity of him! With his threestar
monothong! Thaw! The last word in stolentelling! And what's more
rightdown lowbrown schisthematic robblemint! Yes. As he was rising
my lather. Like you. And as I was plucking his goosybone. Like yea. He
store the tale of me shur. Like yup. How's that for Shemese?
    - Still in a way, not to flatter you, we fancy you that you are so
strikingly brainy and well letterread in yourshelves as ever were the
Shamous Shamonous, Limited, could use worse of yourself, ingenious
Shaun, we still so fancied, if only you would take your time so and the
trouble of so doing it. Upu now!

    - Undoubtedly but that is show, Shaun replied, the muttermelk of
his blood donor beginning to work, and while innocent of disseminating
the foul emanation, it would be a fall day I could not, sole, so you can
keep your space and by the power of blurry wards I am loyable to do it
(I am convicted of it!) any time ever I liked (bet ye fippence off me boot
allowance!) with the allergrossest transfusiasm as, you see, while I can
soroquise the Siamanish better than most, it is an openear secret, be it
said, how I am extremely ingenuous at the clerking even with my badily
left and, arrah go braz, I'd pinsel it with immenuensoes as easy as I'd
perorate a chickerow of beans for the price of two maricles and my
trifolium librotto, the authordux Book of Lief, would, if given to
daylight, (I hold a most incredible faith about it) far exceed what that
bogus bolshy of a shame, my soamheis brother, Gaoy Fecks, is
conversant with in audible black and prink. Outragedy of poetscalds!
Acomedy of letters! I have them all, tame, deep and harried, in my
mine's I. And one of these fine days, man dear, when the mood is on
me, that I may willhap cut my throat with my tongue tonight but I will
be ormuzd moved to take potlood and introvent it Paatryk just like a
work of merit, mark my words and append to my mark twang, that will
open your pucktricker's ops for you, broather brooher, only for, as a
papst and an immature and a nayophight and a spaciaman spaciosum
and a hundred and eleven other things, I would never for anything take
so much trouble of such doing. And why so? Because I am altogether a
chap too fly and hairyman for to infradig the like of that ultravirulence.
And by all I hold sacred on earth clouds and in heaven I swear to you on
my piop and oath by the awe of Shaun (and that's a howl of a name!)
that I will commission to the flames any incendiarist whosoever or
ahriman howsoclever who would endeavour to set ever annyma roner
moother of mine on fire. Rock me julie but I will soho!

    And, with that crickcrackcruck of his threelungged squool from
which grief had usupped every smile, big hottempered husky fusky
krenfy strenfy pugiliser, such as he was, he virtually broke down on the
mooherhead, getting quite jerry over her, overpowered by himself with
the love of the tearsilver that he twined through her hair for, sure, he
was the soft semplgawn slob of the world with a heart like
Montgomery's in his showchest and harvey loads of feeling in him and
as innocent and undesignful as the freshfallen calef. Still, grossly
unselfish in sickself, he dished allarmes away and laughed it off with a
wipe at his pudgies and a gulp apologetic, healing his tare be the smeyle
of his oye, oogling around. Him belly no belong sollow mole pigeon.
Ally bully. Fu Li's gulpa. Mind you, now, that he was in the dumpest of
earnest orthough him jawr war hoo hleepy hor halk urthing hurther.
Moe like that only he stopped short in looking up up upfrom his tide
shackled wrists through the ghost of an ocean's, the wieds of pansiful
heathvens of joepeter's gaseytotum as they are telling not but were and
will be, all told, scruting foreback into the fargoneahead to feel out what
age in years tropical, ecclesiastic, civil or sidereal he might find by the
sirious pointstand of Charley's Wain (what betune the spheres sledding
along the lacteal and the mansions of the blest turning on old times) as
erewhile had he craved of thus, the dreamskhwindel necklassoed him,
his thumbs fell into his fists and, lusosing the harmonical balance of his
ballbearing extremities, by the holy kettle, like a flask of lightning over
he careened (O the sons of the fathers!) by the mightyfine weight of his
barrel (all that prevented the happering of who if not the asterisks
betwink themselves shall ever?) and, as the wisest postlude course he
could playact, collaspsed in ensemble and rolled buoyantly backwards
in less than a twinkling via Rattigan's corner out of farther earshot with
his highly curious mode of slipashod motion, surefoot, sorefoot,
slickfoot, slackfoot, linkman laizurely, lampman loungey, and by
Killesther's lapes and falls, with corks, staves and treeleaves and more
bubbles to his keelrow a fairish and easy way enough as the town cow
cries behind the times in the direction of Mac Auliffe's, the crucethouse,
Open the Door Softly, down in the valley before he was really uprighted
ere in a dip of the downs (uila!) he spoorlessly disappaled and
vanesshed, like a popo down a papa, from circular circulatio. Ah, mean!

    Gaogaogaone! Tapaa!
    And the stellas were shinings. And the earthnight strewed
aromatose. His pibrook creppt mong the donkness. A reek was waft on
the luftstream. He was ours, all fragrance. And we were his for a
lifetime. O dulcid dreamings languidous! Taboccoo!

    It was sharming! But sharmeng!

    And the lamp went out as it couldn't glow on burning, yep, the lmp
wnt out for it couldn't stay alight.

    Well, (how dire do we thee hours when thylike fades!) all's dall and
youllow and it is to bedowern that thou art passing hence, mine bruder,
able Shaun, with a twhisking of the robe, ere the morning of light calms
our hardest throes, beyond cods' cradle and porpoise plain, from carnal
relations undfamiliar faces, to the inds of Tuskland where the oliphants
scrum till the ousts of Amiracles where the toll stories grow proudest,
more is the pity, but for all your deeds of goodness you were soo ooft
and for ever doing, manomano and myriamilia even to mulimuli, as our
humbler classes, whose virtue is humility, can tell, it is hardly we in the
country of the old, Sean Moy, can part you for, oleypoe, you were the
walking saint, you were, tootoo too stayer, the graced of gods and
pittites and the salus of the wake. Countenance whose disparition
afflictedly fond Fuinn feels. Winner of the gamings, primed at the
studience, propredicted from the storybouts, the choice of ages wise!
Spickspookspokesman of our specturesque silentiousness! Musha,
beminded of us out there in Cockpit, poor twelve o'clock scholars,
sometime or other anywhen you think the time. Wisha, becoming back
to us way home in Biddyhouse one way or either anywhere we miss
your smile. Palmwine breadfruit sweetmeat milksoup! Suasusupo!
However! Our people here in Samoanesia will not be after forgetting
you and the elders luking and marking the jornies, chalkin up drizzle in
drizzle out on the four bare mats. How you would be thinking in your
thoughts how the deepings did it all begin and how you would be
scrimmaging through your scruples to collar a hold of an imperfection
being committled. Sireland calls you. Mery Loye is saling moonlike.
And Slyly mamourneen's ladymaid at Gladshouse Lodge. Turn your
coat, strong character, and tarry among us down the vale, yougander,
only once more! And may the mosse of prosperousness gather you
rolling home! May foggy dews bediamondise your hooprings! May the
fireplug of filiality reinsure your bunghole! May the barleywind behind
glow luck to your bathershins! 'Tis well we know you were loth to leave
us, winding your hobbledehorn, right royal post, but, aruah sure, pulse
of our slumber, dreambookpage, by the grace of Votre Dame, when the
natural morning of your nocturne blankmerges into the national
morning of golden sunup and Don Leary gets his own back from old
grog Georges Quartos as that goodship the Jonnyjoys takes the wind
from waterloogged Erin's king, you will shiff across the Moylendsea
and round up in your own escapology some canonisator's day or other,
sack on back, alack! digging snow, (not so?) like the good man you are,
with your picture pockets turned knockside out in the rake of the rain for
fresh remittances and from that till this in any case, timus tenant, may
the tussocks grow quickly under your trampthickets and the daisies trip
lightly over your battercops.
    Chapter 2




    Jaunty Jaun, as I was shortly before that made aware, next halted to
fetch a breath, the first cothurminous leg of his nightstride being pulled
through, and to loosen (let God's son now be looking down on the poor
preambler!) both of his bruised brogues that were plainly made a good
bit before his hosen were, at the weir by Lazar's Walk (for far and wide,
as large as he was lively, was he noted for his humane treatment of any
kind of abused footgear), a matter of maybe nine score or so barrelhours
distance off as truly he merited to do. He was there, you could
planemetrically see, when I took a closer look at him, that was to say,
(gracious helpings, at this rate of growing our cotted child of yestereve
will soon fill space and burst in systems, so speeds the instant!) amply
altered for the brighter, though still the graven image of his squarer self
as he was used to be, perspiring but happy notwithstanding his foot was
still asleep on him, the way he thought, by the holy januarious, he had a
bullock's hoof in his buskin, with his halluxes so splendid, through
Ireland untranscended, bigmouthed poesther, propped up, restant,
against a butterblond warden of the peace, one comestabulish Sigurdsen,
(and where a better than such exsearfaceman to rest from roving the
laddyown he bootblacked?) who, buried upright like the Osbornes,
kozydozy, had tumbled slumbersomely on sleep at night duty behind the
curing station, equilebriated amid the embracings of a monopolized
bottle.

    Now, there were as many as twentynine hedge daughters out of
Benent Saint Berched's national nightschool (for they seemed to
remember how it was still a once-upon-a-four year) learning their
antemeridian lesson of life, under its tree, against its warning, beseated,
as they were, upon the brinkspondy, attracted to the rarerust sight of the
first human yellowstone landmark (the bear, the boer, the king of all
boors, sir Humphrey his knave we met on the moors!) while they
paddled away, keeping time magnetically with their eight and fifty
pedalettes, playing foolufool jouay allo misto posto, O so jaonickally,
all barely in their typtap teens, describing a charming dactylogram of
nocturnes though repelled by the snores of the log who looked stuck to
the sod as ever and oft, when liquefied, (vil!) he murmoaned abasourdly
in his Dutchener's native, visibly unmoved, over his treasure trove for
the crown: Dotter dead bedstead mean diggy smuggy flasky!

    Jaun (after he had in the first place doffed a hat with a reinforced
crown and bowed to all the others in that chorus of praise of goodwill
girls on their best beehiviour who all they were girls all rushing
sowarmly for the post as buzzy as sie could bie to read his kisshands,
kittering all about, rushing and making a tremendous girlsfuss over him
pellmale, their jeune premier and his rosyposy smile, mussing his frizzy
hair and the golliwog curls of him, all, but that one; Finfria's fairest,
done in loveletters like a trayful of cloudberry tartlets (ain't they fine,
mighty, mighty fine and honoured?) and smilingly smelling, pair and
pair about, broad by bread and slender to slimmer, the nice perfumios
that came cunvy peeling off him (nice!) which was angelic simply,
savouring of wild thyme and parsley jumbled with breadcrumbs (O
nice!) and feeling his full fat pouch for him so tactily and jingaling his
jellybags for, though he looked a young chapplie of sixtine, they could
frole by his manhood that he was just the killingest ladykiller all by
kindness, now you, Jaun, asking kindlily (hillo, missies!) after their
howareyous at all with those of their dollybegs (and where's Agatha's
lamb? and how are Bernadetta's columbillas? and Juliennaw's
tubberbunnies? and Eulalina's tuggerfunnies?) he next went on
(finefeelingfit!) to drop a few stray remarks anent their personal
appearances and the contrary tastes displayed in their tight kittycasques
and their smart frickyfrockies, asking coy one after sloy one had she
read Irish legginds and gently reproving one that the ham of her hom
could be seen below her hem and whispering another aside, as lavariant,
that the hook of her hum was open a bittock at her back to have a
sideeye to that, hom, (and all of course just to fill up a form out of pure
human kindness and in a sprite of fun) for Jaun, by the way, was by the
way of becoming (I think, I hope he was) the most purely human being
that ever was called man, loving all up and down the whole creation
from Sampson's tyke to Jones's sprat and from the King of all Wrenns
down to infuseries) Jaun, after those few prelimbs made out through his
eroscope the apparition of his fond sister Izzy for he knowed his love by
her waves of splabashing and she showed him proof by her way of
blabushing nor could he forget her so tarnelly easy as all that since he
was brotherbesides her benedict godfather and heaven knows he thought
the world and his life of her sweet heart could buy, (brao!) poor, good,
true, Jaun!

    — Sister dearest, Jaun delivered himself with express cordiality,
marked by clearance of diction and general delivery, as he began to take
leave of his scolastica at once so as to gain time with deep affection, we
honestly believe you sorely will miss us the moment we exit yet we feel
as a martyr to the dischurch of all duty that it is about time, by Great
Harry, we would shove off to stray on our long last journey and not be
the load on ye. This is the gross proceeds of your teachings in which we
were raised, you, sis, that used to write to us the exceeding nice letters
for presentation and would be telling us anun (full well do we wont to
recall to mind) thy oldworld tales of homespinning and derringdo and
dieobscure and daddyho, these tales which reliterately whisked off our
heart so narrated by thou, gesweest, to perfection, our pet pupil of the
whole rhythmetic class and the mainsay of our erigenal house, the time
we younkers twain were fairly tossing ourselves (O Phoebus! O Pollux!)
in bed, having been laid up with Castor's oil on the Parrish's syrup (the
night we will remember) for to share our hard suite of affections with
thee.

     I rise, O fair assemblage! Andcommincio. Now then, after this
introit of exordium, my galaxy girls, quiproquo of directions to
henservants I was asking his advice on the strict T.T. from Father Mike,
P.P., my orational dominican and confessor doctor, C.C.D.D. (buy the
birds, he was saying as he yerked me under the ribs sermon in an
offrand way and confidence petween peas like ourselves in soandso
many nuncupiscent words about how he had been confarreating teat-a-
teat with two viragos intactas about what an awful life he led, poorish
priced, uttering mass for a coppall of geldings and what a lawful day it
was, there and then, for a consommation with an effusion and how, by
all the manny larries ate pignatties, how, hell in tunnels, he'd marry me
any old buckling time as flying quick as he'd look at me) and I am
giving youth now again in words of style byaway of offertory hisand
mikeadvice, an it place the person, as ere he retook him to his cure,
those verbs he said to me. From above. The most eminent bishop titular
of      Dubloonik   to   all   his   purtybusses     in   Dellabelliney.
Comeallyedimseldamsels, siddle down and lissle all! Follow me close!
Keep me in view! Understeady me saries! Which is to all practising
massoeurses from a preaching freer and be a gentleman without a duster
before a parlourmade without a spitch. Now. During our brief apsence
from this furtive feugtig season adhere to as many as probable of the ten
commandments touching purgations and indulgences and in the long
run they will prove for your better guidance along your path of right of
way. Where the lisieuse are we and what's the first sing to be sung? Is it
rubrics, mandarimus, pasqualines, or verdidads is in it, or the bruiselivid
indecores of estreme voyoulence and, for the lover of lithurgy, bekant or
besant, where's the fate's to be wished for? Several sindays after
whatsintime. I'll sack that sick server the minute I bless him. That's the
mokst I can do for his grapce. Economy of movement, axe why said.
I've a hopesome's choice if I chouse of all the sinkts in the colander.
From the common for ignitious Purpalume to the proper of Francisco
Ultramare, last of scorchers, third of snows, in terrorgammons
howdydos. Here she's, is a bell, that's wares in heaven, virginwhite,
Undetrigesima, vikissy manonna. Doremon's! The same or similar to be
kindly observed within the affianced dietcess of Gay O'Toole and
Gloamy Gwenn du Lake (Danish spoken!) from Manducare Monday up
till farrier's siesta in china dominos. Words taken in triumph, my sweet
assistance, from the sufferant pen of our jocosus inkerman militant of
the reed behind the ear.
    Never miss your lostsomewhere mass for the couple in Myles you
butrose to brideworship. Never hate mere pork which is bad for your
knife of a good friday. Never let a hog of the howth trample underfoot
your linen of Killiney. Never play lady's game for the Lord's stake.
Never lose your heart away till you win his diamond back. Make a
strong point of never kicking up your rumpus over the scroll end of
sofas in the Dar Bey Coll Cafeteria by tootling risky apropos songs at
commercial     travellers'   smokers    for   their   Columbian     nights
entertainments the like of White limbs they never stop teasing or Minxy
was a Manxmaid when Murry wor a Man. And, by the bun, is it you
goes bisbuiting His Esaus and Cos and then throws them bag in the
box? Why the tin's nearly empty. First thou shalt not smile. Twice thou
shalt not love. Lust, thou shalt not commix idolatry. Hip confiners help
compunction. Never park your brief stays in the men's convenience.
Never clean your buttoncups with your dirty pair of sassers. Never ask
his first person where's your quickest cut to our last place. Never let the
promising hand usemake free of your oncemaid sacral. The soft side of
the axe! A coil of cord, a colleen coy, a blush on a bush turned first
man's laughter into wailful moither. O foolish cuppled! Ah, dice's error!
Never dip in the ern while you've browsers on your suite. Never slip the
silver key through your gate of golden age. Collide with man, collude
with money. Ere you sail foreget my prize. Where you truss be
circumspicious and look before you leak, dears. Never christen medlard
apples till a swithin is in sight. Wet your thistle where a weed is and
you'll rue it, despyneedis. Especially beware please of being at a party to
any demoralizing home life. That saps a chap. Keep cool faith in the
firm, have warm hoep in the house and begin frem athome to be chary
of charity. Where it is nobler in the main to supper than the boys and
errors of outrager's virtue. Give back those stolen kisses; restaure those
allcotten glooves. Recollect the yella perals that all too often beset green
gerils, Rhidarhoda and Daradora, once they gethobbyhorsical, playing
breeches parts for Bessy Sudlow in fleshcoloured pantos instead of
earthing down in the coalhole trying to boil the big gun's dinner. Leg-
before-Wicked lags-behindWall where here Mr Whicker whacked a
great fall. Femorafamilla feeled it a candleliked but Hayes, Conyngham
and Erobinson sware it's an egg. Forglim mick aye! Stay, forestand and
tillgive it! Remember the biter's bitters I shed the vigil I buried our
Harlotte Quai from poor Mrs Mangain's of Britain Court on the feast of
Marie Maudlin. Ah, who would wipe her weeper dry and lead her to the
halter? Sold in her heyday, laid in the straw, bought for one puny
petunia. Moral: if you can't point a lily get to henna out of here! Put
your swell foot foremost on foulardy pneumonia shertwaists,
irriconcilible with true fiminin risirvition and ribbons of lace, limenick's
disgrace. Sure, what is it on the whole only holes tied together, the
merest and transparent washingtones to make Languid Lola's lingery
longer? Scenta Clauthes stiffstuffs your hose and heartsies full of
temptiness. Vanity flee and Verity fear! Diobell! Whalebones and
buskbutts may hurt you (thwackaway thwuck!) but never lay bare your
breast secret (dickette's place!) to joy a Jonas in the Dolphin's Barncar
with your meetual fan, Doveyed Covetfilles, comepulsing paynattention
spasms between the averthisment for Ulikah's wine and a pair of
pulldoors of the old cupiosity shape. There you'll fix your eyes darkled
on the autocart of the bringfast cable but here till youre martimorphysed
please sit still face to face. For if the shorth of your skorth falls down to
his knees pray how wrong will he look till he rises? Not before
Gravesend is commuted. But now reappears Autist Algy, the
pulcherman and would-do performer, oleas Mr Smuth, stated by the
vice crusaders to be well known to all the dallytaunties in and near the
ciudad of Buellas Arias, taking you to the playguehouse to see the
Smirching of Venus and asking with whispered offers in a very low
bearded voice, with a nice little tiny manner and in a very nice little tony
way, won't you be an artist's moral and pose in your nudies as a local
esthetic before voluble old masters, introducing you, left to right the
party comprises, to hogarths like Bottisilly and Titteretto and
Vergognese and Coraggio with their extrahand Mazzaccio, plus the
usual bilker's dozen of dowdycameramen. And the volses of lewd
Buylan, for innocence! And the phyllisophies of Bussup Bulkeley. O,
the frecklessness of the giddies nouveautays! There's many's the
icepolled globetopper is haunted by the hottest spot under his equator
like Ramrod, the meaty hunter, always jaeger for a thrust. The back
beautiful, the undraped divine! And Suzy's Moedl's with their Blue
Danuboyes! All blah! Viper's vapid vilest! Put off the old man at the
very font and get right on with the nutty sparker round the back. Slip
your oval out of touch and let the paravis be your goal. Up leather,
Prunella, convert your try! Stick wicks in your earshells when you hear
the prompter's voice. Look on a boa in his beauty and you'll never more
wear your strawberry leaves. Rely on the relic. What bondman ever you
bind on earth I'll be bound 'twas combined in hemel. Keep airly hores
and the worm is yores. Dress the pussy for her nighty and follow her
piggytails up their way to Winkyland. See little poupeep she's firsht
ashleep. After having sat your poetries and you know what happens
when chine throws over jupan. Go to doss with the poulterer, you
understand, and shake up with the milchmand. The Sully van vultures
are on the prowl. And the hailies fingringmaries. Tobaccos tabu and
toboggan's a back seat. Secret satieties and onanymous letters make the
great unwatched as bad as their betters. Don't on any account acquire a
paunchon for that alltoocommon fagbutt habit of frequenting and
chumming together with the braces of couples in Mr Tunnelly's
hallways (smash it) wriggling with lowcusses and cockchafers and
vamps and rodants, with the end to commit acts of interstipital
indecency as between twineties and tapegarters, fingerpats on
fondlepets, under the couvrefeu act. It's the thin end; wedge your steps!
Your high powered hefty hoyden thinks nothing of ramping through a
whole suite of smokeless husbands. Three minutes I'm counting you.
Woooooon. No triching now! Give me that when I tell you! Ragazza
ladra! And is that any place to be smuggling his madam's apples up?
Deceitful jade. Gee wedge! Begor, I like the way they're half cooked.
Hold, flay, grill, fire that laney feeling for kosenkissing disgenically
within the proscribed limits like Population Peg on a hint or twim
clandestinely does be doing to Temptation Tom, atkings questions in
barely and snakking svarewords like a nursemagd. While there's men-
a'war on the say there'll be loves-o'women on the do. Love through the
usual channels, cisternbrothelly, when properly disinfected and taken
neat in the generable way upon retiring to roost in the company of a
husband-in-law or other respectable relative of an apposite sex, not love
that leads by the nose as I foresmellt but canalised love, you understand,
does a felon good, suspiciously if he has a slugger's liver but I cannot
belabour the point too ardently (and after the lessions of experience I
speak from inspiration) that fetid spirits is the thief of prurities, so none
of your twenty rod cherrywhisks, me daughter! At the Cat and Coney or
the Spotted Dog. And at 2bis Lot's Road. When parties get tight for each
other they lose all respect together. By the stench of her fizzle and the
glib of her gab know the drunken draggletail Dublin drab. You'll pay for
each bally sorraday night every billing sumday morning. When the
night is in May and the moon shines might. We won't meeth in Navan
till you try to give the Kellsfrieclub the goby. Hill or hollow, Hull or
Hague! And beware how you dare of wet cocktails in Kildare or the
same may see your wedding driving home from your wake. Mades of
ashens when you flirt spoil the lad but spare his shirt! Lay your lilylike
long his shoulder but buck back if he buts bolder and just hep your
homely hop and heed no horning but if you've got some brainy notion to
raise cancan and rouse commotion I'll be apt to flail that tail for you till
it's borning. Let the love ladleliked at the eye girde your gastricks in the
gym. Nor must you omit to screw the lid firmly on that jazz jiggery and
kick starts. Bumping races on the flat and point to point over obstacles.
Ridewheeling that acclivisciously up windy Rutland Rise and insighting
rebellious northers before the saunter of the city of Dunlob. Then
breretonbiking on the free with your airs of go-be-dee and your heels
upon the handlebars. Berrboel brazenness! No, before your corselage rib
is decartilaged, that is to mean if you have visceral ptossis, my point is,
making allowances for the fads of your weak abdominal wall and your
liver asprewl, vinvin, vinvin, or should you feel, in shorts, as though
you needed healthy physicking exorcise to flush your kidneys, you
understand, and move that twelffinger bowel and threadworm
inhibitating it, lassy, and perspire freely, lict your lector in the lobby and
why out you go by the ostiary on to the dirt track and skip! Be a
sportive. Deal with Nature the great greengrocer and pay regularly the
monthlies. Your Punt's Perfume's only in the hatpinny shop beside the
reek of the rawny. It's more important than air — I mean than eats — air
(Oop, I never open momouth but I pack mefood in it) and promotes that
natural emotion. Stamp out bad eggs. Why so many puddings prove
disappointing, as Dietician says, in Creature Comforts Causeries, and
why so much soup is so muck slop. If we could fatten on the
elizabeetons we wouldn't have teeth like the hippopotamians. However.
Likewise if I were in your envelope shirt I'd keep my weathereye well
cocked open for your furnished lodgers paying for their feed on tally
with company and piano tunes. Only stuprifying yourself! The too
friendly friend sort, Mazourikawitch or some other sukinsin of a vitch,
who he's kommen from olt Pannonia on this porpoise whom sue
stooderin about the maul and femurl artickles and who mix himself so at
home mid the musik and spanks the ivory that lovely for this your
Mistro Melosiosus MacShine MacShane may soon prove your undoing
and bane through the succeeding years of rain should you, whilst Jaun is
from home, get used to basking in his loverslowlap, inordinately clad,
moustacheteasing, when closehended together behind locked doors,
kissing steadily, (malbongusta, it's not the thing you know!) with the
calfloving selfseeker, under the influence of woman, inching up to you,
disarranging your modesties and fumbling with his forte paws in your
bodice after your billy doos twy as a first go off (take care, would you
stray and split on me!) and going on doing his idiot every time you gave
him his chance to get thick and play pigglywiggly, making much of you,
bilgetalking like a ditherer, gougouzoug, about your glad neck and the
round globe and the white milk and the red raspberries (O horrifier!)
and prying down furthermore to chance his lucky arm with his pregnant
questions up to our past lives. What has that caught to sing with him?
The next fling you'll be squitting on the Tubber Nakel, pouring pitchers
to the well for old Gloatsdane's glorification and the postequities of the
Black Watch, peeping private from the Bush and Rangers. And our local
busybody, talker-go-bragk. Worse again! Off of that praying fan on to
them priars! It would be a whorable state of affairs altogether for the
redcolumnists of presswritten epics, Peter Paragraph and Paulus Puff,
(I'm keepsoaking them to cover my concerts) to get ahold of for their
balloons and shoot you private by surprise, considering the marriage
slump that's on this oil age and pulexes three shillings a pint and wives
at six and seven when domestic calamities belame par and newlaids
bellow mar for the twenty twotoosent time thwealthy took thousands in
the slack march of civilisation were you, becoming guilty of unleckylike
intoxication to have and to hold, to pig and to pay direct connection,
qua intervener, with a prominent married member of the vicereeking
squad and, in consequence of the thereinunder subpenas, be flummoxed
to the second degree by becoming a detestificated companykeeper on
the dammymonde of Lucalamplight. Anything but that, for the fear and
love of gold! Once and for all, I'll have no college swankies (you see, I
am well voiced in love's arsenal and all its overtures from collion boys
to colleen bawns so I have every reason to know that rogues' gallery of
nightbirds and bitchfanciers, lucky duffs and light lindsays, haughty
hamiltons and gay gordons, dosed, doctored and otherwise, messing
around skirts and what their fickling intentions look like, you make up
your mind to that) trespassing on your danger zone in the dancer years.
If ever I catch you at it, mind, it's you that will cocottch it! I'll tackle you
to feel if you have a few devils in you. Holy gun, I'll give it to you, hot,
high and heavy before you can say sedro! Or may the maledictions of
Lousyfear fall like nettlerash on the white friar's father that converted
from moonshine the fostermother of the first nancyfree that ran off after
the trumpadour that mangled Moore's melodies and so upturned the
tubshead of the stardaft journalwriter to inspire the prime finisher to
fellhim the firtree out of which Cooper Funnymore planed the flat of the
beerbarrel on which my grandydad's lustiest sat his seat of unwisdom
with my tante's petted sister for the cause of his joy! Amene.
    Poof! There's puff for ye, begor, and planxty of it, all abound me
breadth! Glor galore and glory be! As broad as its lung and as long as a
line! The valiantine vaux of Venerable Val Vousdem. If my jaws must
brass away like the due drops on my lay. And the topnoted delivery
you'd expected be me invoice! Theo Dunnohoo's warning from Daddy
O'Dowd. Whoo? What I'm wondering to myselfwhose for there's a
strong tendency, to put it mildly, by making me the medium. I feel spirts
of itchery outching out from all over me and only for the
sludgehummer's force in my hand to hold them the darkens alone knows
what'll who'll be saying of next. However. Now, before my upperotic
rogister, something nice. Now? Dear Sister, in perfect leave again I say
take a brokerly advice and keep it to yourself that we, Jaun, first of our
name here now make all receptacles of, free of price. Easy, my dear, if
they tingle you either say nothing or nod. No cheekacheek with
chipperchapper, you and your last mashboy and the padre in the
pulpbox enumerating you his nostrums. Be vacillant over those vigilant
who would leave you to belave black on white. Close in for psychical
hijiniks as well but fight shy of mugpunters. I'd burn the books that
grieve you and light an allassundrian bompyre that would suffragate
Tome Plyfire or Zolfanerole. Perousse instate your Weekly Standerd,
our verile organ that is ethelred by all pressdom. Apply your five wits to
the four verilatest. The Arsdiken's An Traitey on Miracula or Viewed to
Death by a Priest Hunter is still first in the field despite the castle bar,
William Archer's a rompan good cathalogue and he'll give you a riser on
the route to our nazional labronry. Skim over Through Hell with the
Papes (mostly boys) by the divine comic Denti Alligator (exsponging
your index) and find a quip in a quire arisus aream from bastardtitle to
fatherjohnson. Swear aloud by pious fiction the like of Lentil Lore by
Carnival Cullen or that Percy Wynns of our S. J. Finn's or Pease in
Plenty by the Curer of Wars, licensed and censered by our most
picturesque prelates, Their Graces of Linzen and Petitbois, bishops of
Hibernites, licet ut lebanus, for expansion on the promises, the two best
sells on the market this luckiest year, set up by Gill the father, put out
by Gill the son and circulating disimally at Gillydehooly's Cost. Strike
up a nodding acquaintance for our doctrine with the works of old Mrs
Trot, senior, and Manoel Canter, junior, and Loper de Figas, nates
maximum. I used to follow Mary Liddlelambe's flitsy tales, espicially
with the scentaminted sauce. Sifted science will do your arts good. Egg
Laid by Former Cock and With Flageolettes in Send Fanciesland.
Chiefly girls. Trip over sacramental tea into the long lives of our saints
and saucerdotes, with vignettes, cut short into instructual primers by
those in authority for the bittermint of your soughts. Forfet not the
palsied. Light a match for poor old Contrabally and send some balmoil
for the schizmatics. A hemd in need is aye a friendly deed. Remember,
maid, thou dust art powder but Cinderella thou must return (what are
you robbing her sleeve for, Ruby? And pull in your tongue, Polly!). Cog
that out of your teen times, everyone. The lad who brooks no breaches
lifts the lass that toffs a tailor. How dare ye be laughing out of your
mouthshine at the lack of that? Keep cool your fresh chastity which is
far better far. Sooner than part with that vestalite emerald of the first
importance, descended to me by far from our family, which you treasure
up so closely where extremes meet, nay, mozzed lesmended, rather let
the whole ekumene universe belong to merry Hal and do whatever his
Mary well likes. When the gong goes for hornets-two-nest marriage step
into your harness and strip off that nullity suit. Faminy, hold back! For
the race is to the rashest of, the romping, jomping rushes of. Haul
Seton's down, black, green and grey, and hoist Mikealy's whey and
sawdust. What's overdressed if underclothed? Poposht forstake me knot
where there's white lets ope. Whisht! Blesht she that walked with good
Jook Humprey for he made her happytight. Go! You can down all the
dripping you can dumple to, and buffkid scouse too ad libidinum, in
these lassitudes if you've parents and things to look after. That was what
stuck to the Comtesse Cantilene while she was sticking out Mavis
Toffeelips to feed her soprannated huspals, and it is henceforth
associated with her names. La Dreeping! Die Droopink! The inimitable
in puresuet of the inevitable! There's nothing to touch it, we are taucht,
unless she'd care for a mouthpull of white pudding for the wish is on her
rose marine and the lunchlight in her eye, so when you pet the rollingpin
write my name on the pie. Guard that gem, Sissy, rich and rare, ses he.
In this cold old worold who'll feel it? Hum! The jewel you're all so
cracked about there's flitty few of them gets it for there's nothing now
but the sable stoles and a runabout to match it. Sing him a ring. Touch
me low. And I'll lech ye so, my soandso. Show and show. Show on
show. She. Shoe. Shone.
    Divulge, sjuddenly jouted out hardworking Jaun, kicking the
console to his double and braying aloud like Brahaam's ass, and, as his
voixehumanar swelled to great, clenching his manlies, so highly strong
was he, man, and gradually quite warming to her (there must have been
a power of kinantics in that buel of gruel he gobed at bedgo) divorce
into me and say the curname in undress (if you get into trouble with a
party you are not likely to forget his appearance either) of any lapwhelp
or sleevemongrel who talks to you upon the road where he tuck you to
be a roller, O, (the goattanned saxopeeler upshotdown chigs peel of
him!) and volunteers to trifle with your roundlings for profferred glass
and dough, the marrying hand that his leisure repents of, without taking
out his proper password from the eligible ministriss for affairs with the
black fremdling, that enemy of our country, in a cleanlooking light and I
don't care a tongser's tammany hang who the mucky is nor twoo hoots
in the corner nor three shouts on a hill (were he even a constantineal
namesuch of my very own, Attaboy Knowling, and like enoch to my
townmajor ancestors, the two that are taking out their divorces in the
Spooksbury courts circuits, Rere Uncle Remus, the Baas of Eboracum
and Old Father Ulissabon Knickerbocker, the lanky sire of
Wolverhampton, about their bristelings), but as true as there's a soke for
sakes in Twoways Peterborough and sure as home we come to newsky
prospect from west the wave on schedule time (if I came any quicker I'll
be right back before I left) from the land of breach of promise with
Brendan's mantle whitening the Kerribrasilian sea and March's pebbles
spinning from beneath our footslips to carry fire and sword, rest insured
that as we value the