oh_my_goodness.java

life_is_wonderful.rb

1.9.2p290 :002 > class String
1.9.2p290 :003?>   def quote
1.9.2p290 :004?>     "'#{self}'"
1.9.2p290 :005?>     end
1.9.2p290 :006?>   end
 => nil 
1.9.2p290 :007 > def omgLifeIsWonderful(language)
1.9.2p290 :008?>   unless language.blank?
1.9.2p290 :009?>     "I program in the language #{language.quote} and life is wonderful"
1.9.2p290 :010?>     else
1.9.2p290 :011 >       "I could program because it's easy"
1.9.2p290 :012?>     end
1.9.2p290 :013?>   end
 => nil 
1.9.2p290 :014 > omgLifeIsWonderful('ruby')
 => "I program in the language 'ruby' and life is wonderful" 
1.9.2p290 :015 > 

oh_my_goodness.java

package com.lifeIsTerrible.andIHateIt;
import java.lang.StringBuilder;

class OhMyGoodness extends ReasonsIBingeDrinkEveryDay {
  string omgIWantToDie(String language) {
    if( ! org.apache.commons.lang.StringUtils.isBlank(language) {
      StringBuilder strBuilder = new StringBuilder();
      strBuilder.append("I programming in the language ");
      String quotedLanguage = org.springframework.util.StringUtils.quote(language);
      strBuilder.append(quotedLanguage);
      strBuilder.append(" and I want to die.");
      return strBuilder.toString();
    }
    else {
      return "I don't code, because it's too hard.";
    }
  }
}

# omgIWantToDie("java");
# => "I program 'java' and I want to die."