Starfish...I mean zombies!

#!/bin/bash
function s() {
    say -v $1 $2
}

function sb() {
    say -v $1 $2 &
}

s Fred "Good morning, everyone."
s Junior "Good morning, dad."
s Victoria "Good morning, honey."
s Fred "We're here today to discuss the starfish problem."
sleep 1
s Junior "Er, I'm not sure what you mean?"
s Fred "The starfish, son. They must go before they suck out our brains and eat us all."
s Victoria "Starfish? Are you sure you've got that right?"
s Fred "Yes. For the hundredth time, starfish are a real problem."
sleep 2
s Victoria "Because they eat our brains?"
s Fred "Exactly."
sleep 1
s Victoria "You are nuts. And by nuts I mean entirely cracked. And by cracked I mean absolutely insane."
s Fred "You'll be singing a different tune when you peel a hungry starfish off your head."
s Junior "Wait. I think I know what's wrong. Dad, I think you're using the wrong word."
s Fred "Quit wasting my time! The starfish will be here soon."
s Junior "Dad, just listen. You mean zombies when you say starfish."
s Fred "Oh. I think you're right"
sb Fred "hahahahahahahaha"
sb Junior "hahahahahahahaha"
sb Victoria "hahahahahahahaha"
sleep 3
sb Alex "The End."