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August 29, 2015 14:06
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A love letter
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Augusta = Awesome = true and Loved = Cherished = true | |
Infinity = (+1.0 / 0)..(-1.0 / 0) | |
def Infinity.ends; false; end | |
Forever = -> { puts "Augusta, we \033[31m<3\033[0m you!"; sleep 5 } | |
Incredible = :wunderbar! | |
%w(We The).map { |const| self.class.const_set const, Module.new do; end } | |
OurFamily = :the_number_one_most_important_thing # not breakfast | |
def a_letter(*to); yield Augusta; end | |
class Numeric | |
def method_missing(*); instance_eval { self }; end | |
end | |
def twas(as_if_it_were = {}, &re) | |
memories = as_if_it_were.fetch :only, 1.day.ago | |
re.call memories | |
end | |
class You | |
class << self | |
def will(always_be_loved); end | |
def to(us = OurFamily); end | |
end | |
end | |
class The::Universe < Infinity.class | |
def self.<<(you); end | |
end | |
def life | |
Class.new do | |
def self.has(since); since.fetch :been, Incredible; end | |
end | |
end | |
class Array | |
def ever_since; end | |
end | |
class String | |
def each; self.chars; end | |
end | |
module We | |
class Wish | |
def self.we_could(&blk) | |
klass = Module.new do | |
def self.experience(these_moments_for); Infinity; end | |
end.instance_eval &blk | |
end | |
end | |
end | |
def over(and_over = Infinity); end | |
trap :INT, :IGNORE # Forever and ever! | |
a_letter to: Augusta do | |
twas(only: 16.months.ago) { The::Universe << You.to(OurFamily) } | |
life.has :been => %w(i n c r e d i b l y).zip(*"wonderful!").ever_since | |
We::Wish.we_could { experience these_moments: over & over } | |
You.will always_be: Loved, and: Cherished | |
until Infinity.ends do; Forever.(); end | |
end |
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Not mine. I found it somewhere!