Computer of Death (1987) English Subtitles

Computer of Death (1987).srt

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Greece, 2080 AD
Computer Science has infiltrated every aspect of life

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Blessed be the rears of the lady,

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cause otherwise I could not be ambushed at all.

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The art of the ninja, as you well know Mr. Velli,

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relies heavily on the element of surprise.

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I'll keep that in mind master.

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I'm sorry lady for scaring you,

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but these two attacked me with my consent.

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Once again, my apologies.

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[Slap]

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Delta Video presents

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brought you by Michalis Lefakis

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THE COMPUTER OF DEATH

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Starring

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Akis Florentis

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Despina Panagiotaki

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Giannis Pernakidis

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and featuring

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Alekos Mavridis

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T. Polychronopoulos

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Makis Nakso

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Makeup
Merry Ziagkou

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Good morning Petros.

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Hello Filio.

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Why are so quiet? What are you reading?

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The couch philosophies of Vellis.

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Don't tell me they published his theory.

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Of course they did!

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His theories are ridiculous,

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believing that someone can be transferred
into a computer program.

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The problem is that he has the audacity to
publicly announce it,

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and with the blessings of the company—
wait, he's coming.

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Morning Filio, morning Petros.

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– Good morning.
– Good morning.

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– Anything exciting happen?
– Nope, nothing.

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He is completely over his head,

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they even gave him a personal office.

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Come on, let me treat you to something.

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I hope he has finished the game he promised me.

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I am bored of the same old things
over and over again.

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I think he is coming, I better open the door.

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Good morning pal.

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[groans]

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Are you being rebellious again?

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Well, have you finished the new game?

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I told you, I'll bring it tomorrow.

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Shit,

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I've heard that a thousand times.

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Tell me Eddis,

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where did you learn the word "shit"?

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This is a phrase of the lowlives.

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From the janitor,

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every time she comes by in the evening to clean,

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she murmurs "this all is shit".

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Don't speak this word again.

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I'm going say because I like it.

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He must not have slept last night,

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this explains him being aggravated.

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Relax.

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Partner up.

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You, put your leg forward.

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Morning Despina.

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Morning Yiannis.

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How the class going?

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It's fine. How are you?

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I try to be fine.

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You miss him?

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Of course I miss him.

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You know how much I loved him.

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If you need anything, I'll be in my office.

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You are getting on my nerves dude.

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What have I done to you? You won't talk to me.

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You humans are odd and unstable beings.

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So sensitive - you get offended very easily,

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and worst of all, you avoid explaining matters

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like the devil avoids the incense.

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Eddie, shut your dirty yap, I have work to do.

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Got it?

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If you don't tell me what I've done,
I won't shut it... got it?

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So you don't know what you've done to upset me?

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Of course I don't know.

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You know Eddie,

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did you think about what we discussed yesterday?

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I was hoping you would have forgotten already—

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Me, forget?

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What are you talking about!

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For 5 years I experimented on this thing,
how can I forget about it?

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Can you not understand that this dangerous?

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I know.

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I understand,

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but in the name of good science,
it is a risk that must be worth it.

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So, are you going to let me?

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Not again, I don't want to kill you.

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Then leave me alone.

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Look at this idiot,

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he's so desperate for me to kill him.

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Come in.

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Am I bothering you?

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No Yianni, come in.

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Grab a seat.

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Today I have an announcement for you.

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I'm listening.

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I've taken the decision to close
the kung-fu dojo.

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The bank is not giving me another loan,

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and if I can't pay back the first loan in 15 days,

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they will repossess my house.

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That's unfair!

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Mister?

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Fanis Vellis,

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computer specialist.

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Glad to meet you, what do you need?

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I have a class here in the school.

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You see in the mornings I work,
so I'm forced to do private lessons.

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And you?

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What about me?

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I mean you too, do you have private lessons?

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No, I just work out here when I'm bored.

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Despina Pappa, glad to meet you.

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Aah, I see, I see.

120
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You must be the owner of the school.

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Yiannis has talked to me about you many times.

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I'm sorry I was late Mr. Vellis.

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No problem master, I was only just starting.

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Excuse me, I have to go.

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Glad to meet you Mr. Vellis.

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Glad to meet you too Miss Pappa, farewell.

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Really pretty woman master.

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How long has it been since her husband died?

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Six months, more or less.

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And she can manage the place on her own?

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Yes!

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She was the best karate student in here.

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She stopped cause she married Nick,
you know the dead one that was also her husband

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All the students are good here master,
only I can't become a good student.

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You know, Mr. Velli,

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why do you want to learn karate?

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I'll tell you.

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I want to be transferred to a computer program,

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and there I'll have to play some games,

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and I'll need the aid of martial arts.

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As you wish.

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Let's begin.

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Everything is shit.

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On top of that, I have this idiot not talking to me.

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He does not understand that if I transfer him
into the program

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he will not be able to come back,

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as it is really difficult to beat me in the game.

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Look who's here.

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To what do I owe the pleasure?

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I brought you your new game.

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Outstanding, what is the central idea of the game?

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One paranoid scientist posses the blueprints
of an atomic bomb.

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The player will have the face all the
dangers of each level,

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until they reach the scientist and
steal his blueprints.

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What kind of levels are included?

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You will find out when we play the game.

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Give me the disk.

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We will play it only if you also allow me
to be transferred inside the program.

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Not this again, I don't want to kill you.

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Very well.

161
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Then we will play one of the old games.

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Why are you so mean?

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I'm sick and tired of the same games
over and over again.

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I don't care.

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Blackmail!

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Just because you can install any
program you want in me,

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does not mean you can not take into
consideration my own decisions.

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Everything is shit.

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And why should I respect your wishes

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when you don't respect mine?

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So you want to turn me into a
computer of death by force?

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I can't let you get in danger.

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Don't say you're scared.

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Of what?

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That I'll beat you.

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You cannot beat me in the simple games
you made as a child,

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what makes you think you could beat me in
these more complicated ones?

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It's one thing fight you with a controller,
and another to fight you directly.

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You know that pretty well,
and that's why you're scared.

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I'm telling you this is not the reason.
I just don't want to kill you.

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You are the master in trying to
avoid topics like this.

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But it's not shameful to admit you are scared.

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Anyways, let's continue our game.

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You are a blockhead.

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Go on, put in the new game and get ready to die.

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Russian roulette

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According to his theory,

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the game needs to be played until completion
and must not be switched off.

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Absolutely no one should tamper
with the computer.

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We hope that by offering 50 million,
someone will take it and help him win the game.

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The company needs him,

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he is the best scientist we have in
computer systems.

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Yes?

194
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The candidate refused?

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OK.

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Get in contact with the next one.

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Boss.

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I think Mr. Vellis took some lessons
in a karate dojo.

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Maybe someone from this dojo
could be transferred to the computer.

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Who owns the dojo?

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A woman, her husband was a karate master.

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Her name is Pappa.

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Go find her.

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– And whatever you do, make it fast.
– Yes sir.

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The greatest joke

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Two matches where playing 31

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and one of them got burned.

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The Tower of Dracula

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Why doesn't the level change?
What have I forgotten?

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I cannot deny that is a dangerous mission,
Miss Pappa.

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You will stare death in the face death many times.

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From what you've seen in Mr. Vellis' notes,

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it's one of the most difficult games
he has ever created.

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If you lose even once in this game, you are doomed.

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In this game, there are no checkpoints.

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None.

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When you play with a controller,
you can restart from the beginning.

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I am not sure if this is the case when
you are in the computer.

219
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In case I do beat the computer,

220
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will I be able to return in this dimension?

221
00:27:24,660 --> 00:27:27,580
According to Mr. Vellis' theory, yes.

222
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:30,620
But it's not a guarantee.

223
00:27:31,340 --> 00:27:34,140
Can someone go inside the program already armed?

224
00:27:34,620 --> 00:27:35,700
I don't know.

225
00:27:36,140 --> 00:27:39,180
We are up against a new reality with
that computer.

226
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:41,100
Revolutionary, I could say.

227
00:27:41,260 --> 00:27:45,220
As you can see, no-one would accept this offer,
not even for 50 million.

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Alright, I'll double the price.

229
00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:51,060
How's that Mrs. Pappa?

230
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:57,980
5 Penalties

231
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:02,580
It's tied at 2-2.

232
00:29:03,540 --> 00:29:06,540
Now you will each shoot penalties
until a winner is determined.

233
00:29:16,460 --> 00:29:17,620
Yesssh mate!!

234
00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:36,420
Vodka until you die

235
00:31:33,580 --> 00:31:35,300
Even now, it's not too late to back off.

236
00:31:36,180 --> 00:31:38,620
No Yianni, I need the money.

237
00:31:39,140 --> 00:31:41,940
But you can stay, you don't need to
put yourself in danger.

238
00:31:42,140 --> 00:31:42,660
No.

239
00:31:42,980 --> 00:31:45,900
I'm not letting you go in alone, I'm coming with –
let's go.

240
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:55,020
Good luck.

241
00:32:11,620 --> 00:32:16,460
Russian roulette

242
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:22,180
This is how we win - the bullet was in his turn.
Let's go now.

243
00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,980
The best joke

244
00:34:48,100 --> 00:34:49,340
What the fuck just happened?

245
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:50,940
I have no clue Yianni.

246
00:34:51,060 --> 00:34:52,580
Don't talk, act like a duck.

247
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The Best DANCER

248
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This is your partner, you will compete second.

249
00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:49,420
The losing pair will be put to death.

250
00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:54,700
The Tower of Dracula

251
00:36:57,060 --> 00:36:58,020
Do you have any ideas?

252
00:36:58,100 --> 00:37:01,380
No, it's not like I have never encountered
a vampire before.

253
00:37:17,460 --> 00:37:20,180
Mr. Draculism, get back to your coffin!

254
00:37:47,620 --> 00:37:48,980
Your turn. What are you gonna dance?

255
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:50,060
The Ittia.

256
00:39:10,020 --> 00:39:12,460
You jump to the left corner, I'll jump to the right.

257
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:21,260
You'll see, I'll tear him a new one.

258
00:39:27,060 --> 00:39:30,100
Do exactly the same, this time he will fall for it.

259
00:39:34,420 --> 00:39:35,420
You and your stupid plans!

260
00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:41,620
If we cover the left and right,
of course he'll shoot for the center!

261
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I will shoot at the center,

262
00:39:45,580 --> 00:39:48,500
you go there and do whatever you
can to distract him.

263
00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:43,420
Shot put

264
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:45,380
You will receive one ball each.

265
00:40:45,420 --> 00:40:46,940
And good luck.

266
00:41:01,940 --> 00:41:04,220
17m and 36cm.

267
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:10,500
My record is 16m and 22cm.

268
00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:20,060
Vodka until you die

269
00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:51,740
I have to win this one or I'll die.

270
00:42:52,260 --> 00:42:54,340
I have to win this one or I'll die.

271
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,060
I have to win this one or I'll die.

272
00:43:08,420 --> 00:43:10,940
17m and 37 cm.

273
00:43:11,540 --> 00:43:13,980
At last I improved my record!

274
00:43:22,140 --> 00:43:25,860
The Best DANCER

275
00:43:30,380 --> 00:43:33,420
This is your partner, you will compete second.

276
00:43:33,780 --> 00:43:35,380
The losing pair will be put to death.

277
00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:26,340
Your turn. What are you gonna dance?

278
00:44:27,860 --> 00:44:29,100
Karate snake.

279
00:45:52,380 --> 00:45:57,300
Minefield

280
00:47:15,260 --> 00:47:17,380
Shot put

281
00:47:18,060 --> 00:47:19,420
How are you at shot put?

282
00:47:19,900 --> 00:47:22,340
How you are in the mood for jokes?

283
00:47:22,660 --> 00:47:25,660
You will receive one ball each, and good luck.

284
00:47:26,620 --> 00:47:27,500
You want to throw?

285
00:47:27,780 --> 00:47:29,300
Of course I want to throw.

286
00:47:46,380 --> 00:47:48,700
1m and 67cm.

287
00:47:49,220 --> 00:47:50,180
Good shot.

288
00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:05,140
1m and 45cm.

289
00:48:13,540 --> 00:48:18,780
Strip poker

290
00:50:12,780 --> 00:50:13,660
You pass?

291
00:50:13,940 --> 00:50:16,700
– No.
– Good. Neither do I.

292
00:50:16,900 --> 00:50:18,260
Four of a kind on Queen.

293
00:50:39,060 --> 00:50:46,300
Minefield

294
00:50:46,580 --> 00:50:47,740
Ah, here's something easy!

295
00:50:48,100 --> 00:50:50,260
Ladies first, hop on my back.

296
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:54,860
Strip poker

297
00:51:57,140 --> 00:51:59,180
Thank God Mr. Velli, you're still alive.

298
00:51:59,220 --> 00:52:00,300
How come you're here?

299
00:52:00,380 --> 00:52:02,300
Your company sent us to help you out.

300
00:52:02,860 --> 00:52:06,900
I don't need help, I'll face Eddie by myself.

301
00:52:07,060 --> 00:52:09,540
Leave the egos aside Mr. Velli.

302
00:52:09,980 --> 00:52:11,900
We share a common fate now.

303
00:52:12,100 --> 00:52:15,180
Even if you want to die, we don't.

304
00:52:16,340 --> 00:52:18,140
Maybe you are right Miss Pappa,

305
00:52:18,180 --> 00:52:20,420
but I didn't ask you to help me.

306
00:52:20,780 --> 00:52:25,260
Also, I don't believe you've done this
without some form of compensation.

307
00:52:25,980 --> 00:52:28,260
It's true Mr. Velli - we got paid for it,

308
00:52:28,380 --> 00:52:31,260
but I'm sure by now you regret coming here too.

309
00:52:41,860 --> 00:52:44,180
Mr Vellli, would you like me to
finish this game instead?

310
00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:45,980
If only you could.

311
00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:49,780
But I started this game, so I must finish it.

312
00:52:50,340 --> 00:52:52,220
For if anyone would take my place

313
00:52:52,820 --> 00:52:54,940
then the game is forfeited to the computer.

314
00:52:55,580 --> 00:52:56,740
And then we are all doomed.

315
00:53:20,620 --> 00:53:22,620
I'll check.

316
00:54:33,580 --> 00:54:35,020
If something goes bad,

317
00:54:35,540 --> 00:54:37,980
you cannot continue by yourselves.

318
00:54:38,180 --> 00:54:39,980
Sadly the game ends for all of us.

319
00:54:40,900 --> 00:54:44,100
I think it's time for me to confess
something to you.

320
00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:46,620
I am in love with you.

321
00:54:58,420 --> 00:54:59,540
Thank god.

322
00:55:06,660 --> 00:55:08,900
Guys, we have to move on.

323
00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:11,460
Until now we were lucky.

324
00:55:11,740 --> 00:55:13,220
Now get ready for the difficult part.

325
00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:35,620
Face-to-face with wastemen

326
00:55:53,580 --> 00:55:55,660
Guys keep an eye on them, there are three.

327
00:55:58,140 --> 00:55:59,500
I'll deal with the fat one.

328
00:55:59,580 --> 00:56:00,900
Despina, you take the girl.

329
00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:01,980
Mr. Velli the remaining one.

330
00:57:07,100 --> 00:57:11,100
Triple jump

331
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:18,700
I'm gonna jump.

332
00:57:18,900 --> 00:57:21,460
You have from one jump each. Good luck.

333
00:57:40,260 --> 00:57:42,060
That was dishonorable behavior, master.

334
00:57:42,540 --> 00:57:45,820
In these situations Velli,
there is no fair and unfair.

335
00:57:45,860 --> 00:57:47,500
We have to get out of this hell.

336
00:58:01,700 --> 00:58:02,860
3m and 50cm.

337
00:58:14,020 --> 00:58:16,420
Rambo

338
00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:21,820
How are we suppose to predict from
where they'll be coming from?

339
01:00:02,180 --> 01:00:05,220
Arm wrestling

340
01:00:05,300 --> 01:00:07,180
Should we face him all together?

341
01:00:07,940 --> 01:00:10,500
But the fair thing is for me to face him myself.

342
01:00:10,740 --> 01:00:13,460
Fuck fairness, we're trying to survive here!

343
01:00:57,980 --> 01:01:02,700
Black panthers

344
01:01:19,700 --> 01:01:21,500
You two take the one on the right.

345
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:46,700
How are you doing master?

346
01:01:47,260 --> 01:01:48,500
Nothing serious, you?

347
01:01:48,900 --> 01:01:50,180
I'm fine, just bruises.

348
01:01:50,620 --> 01:01:54,460
Guys, I am really sorry I put you in
this deadly situation.

349
01:01:54,820 --> 01:01:55,860
I am truly sorry.

350
01:01:55,980 --> 01:01:57,420
No worries Mr Velli.

351
01:01:57,500 --> 01:02:00,740
We already knew what we would face when
we went into the computer.

352
01:02:00,860 --> 01:02:04,300
So be it, but let's drop the formalities.

353
01:02:04,940 --> 01:02:07,020
I'm not Mr. Vellis, my name is Paris.

354
01:02:07,180 --> 01:02:08,100
Ok Pari.

355
01:02:15,700 --> 01:02:19,820
Mafia

356
01:03:02,020 --> 01:03:06,780
Chainsaw Schizophrenic

357
01:04:02,700 --> 01:04:09,900
Horror in the graveyard

358
01:04:39,340 --> 01:04:40,900
Things are going from bad to worst.

359
01:05:05,420 --> 01:05:07,180
Guys, form a line!

360
01:05:23,540 --> 01:05:25,620
Dragons of Kung-Fu

361
01:06:48,860 --> 01:06:52,980
Ninja

362
01:07:31,260 --> 01:07:33,380
Paranoid Scientist

363
01:07:49,740 --> 01:07:52,540
Guys, let's tear apart these papers.

364
01:07:52,700 --> 01:07:54,900
Then we can win the game and escape this hell.

365
01:08:09,420 --> 01:08:10,860
Quick, get him to the hospital!

366
01:08:13,460 --> 01:08:16,300
You go too, I'll stay a little bit longer.

367
01:08:16,380 --> 01:08:18,300
Boss, help Miss Pappa.

368
01:08:54,020 --> 01:08:54,700
So?

369
01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:56,780
Is there more?

370
01:08:57,140 --> 01:08:59,220
I must say, I won unfairly.

371
01:08:59,740 --> 01:09:01,220
I couldn't have done it alone.

372
01:09:02,060 --> 01:09:03,700
But I will make amends for it.

373
01:09:04,620 --> 01:09:05,540
Explain.

374
01:09:08,340 --> 01:09:09,820
I'll make you a new game.

375
01:09:10,660 --> 01:09:13,260
I have only one condition.

376
01:09:13,380 --> 01:09:14,420
Let me hear it.

377
01:09:14,900 --> 01:09:18,140
The game will be for the three of you.

378
01:09:18,580 --> 01:09:21,140
I'll ask them, and I'll tell you.

379
01:09:36,140 --> 01:09:36,780
Pari

380
01:09:37,180 --> 01:09:42,620
I'm happy you are back, even if you say stupid shit.

381
01:09:46,460 --> 01:09:54,580
The End