*deep breath* This is a silly hack to workaround even sillier dynamically generated server-side Telerik ImageButton junk for a temporary service outage. This is how you know you've truly sold out to The Man as a software developer.

ugly_js_hack.html

<script type="text/javascript">
(function($) {
  $(document).ready(function() {
    $("#ctl00_MasterBody_MyPhoneNumbers1_RadGrid1_ctl00_ctl04_imgbtnVoicemail")
      .attr("id", "anti_telerik_hack" + Math.random())
      .attr("name", "anti_telerik_hack" + Math.random())
      .off()
      .click(function() { alert("Pardon the Interruption.  The service you are looking for is unavailable at the moment.  We will be back up on January 20, so please call 1-855-287-5969 for assistance with your Voicemail changes. Thank you for your patience."); return false; });
  });
})($telerik.$);
</script>