magento-order-csv.py

    def products_ordered(self, sku, quantity, price):
        """
        Requires populated sku_reference dictionary. Catch Key Error on fail.

        accepts
            sku         str
            quantity    str (D.DDDD)
                        ex. "1.0000" _must_ have a decimal followed by four
                        place values. 

        return a string formated in one of three ways for "products_ordered"
        field, that matches magento's order import format (a "csv" file in
        which EVERY. SINGLE. FIELD. is surrounded by double-quotes, regardless
        of type.) A format obviously old-world crafted by griefer macaques for
        stoned koala bears.

        # default format, simple colon-delimited list of four values

        QF-LUXE:1.0000:45.0000:Quisling Foetus PLUS 3 ounce
        ^           ^   ^       ^
        |           |   |       +- "name"
        |           |   +- "price"
        |           +- "quantity"
        +- "sku"

        # "configurable" combines a single variant value and price into
        # a caret-delimited "configurable".

        DRKRTCH:1.0000:configurable:Cherry^35.0000^Absolut Dementia Nekro Draught
        ^        ^      ^           ^       ^       ^
        |        |      |           |       |       +-"name"
        |        |      |           |       +-"price"
        |        |      |           +- "variant"
        |        |      +- "configurable" tag/delimiter/skidmark
        |        +- "quantity"
        +- "sku"

        # "wtff configurable" combines more than one variant value into another
        # colon-delimited tuple (sweet baby Jesus, why?) and then into a 
        # caret-delimited "configurable". I think. Maybe it's a "configurable-
        # delimited reverse-polish hash". I don't ******* know, and neither do
        # they.

        EIGEN-DUH-18:1.0000:configurable:18mg:Menthol^8.5000^Frust-O-Fap
        ^              ^       ^           ^  ^        ^       ^
        |              |       |           |  |        |       +-"name"
        |              |       |           |  |        +-"price"
        |              |       |            \ |
        |              |       |              +-combined "variant"
        |              |       +- "configurable" thingy
        |              +- "quantity"
        +- "sku"

        yaml? json? xm-effing-l? "serialize" was in php4 in 1998. Magento was
        first released in 2007. Ponder for a moment, the code for which this
        format is "the easy way". Considering MAGE's roughly 1.5 record per
        second import rate, it ain't an optimization for speed.

        This is obviously something that should be provided for natively in
        PHP 8, since Magento is so very important to "e-commerce solutions"
        world-wide. I suggest adding to "array" and "hash" the type "puple",
        for "purple tuple made of poop".
        """

        try:
            product = self.sku_reference[sku]
        except KeyError:
            message = "No sku reference for %s."%sku
            warnings.warn(message, UserWarning)
            return False

        if "variant" in product:
            # trust "variant" list in products_order_lookup.json
            variant = ":".join(product["variant"])
            hair_metal = "^".join([variant, price, product["name"],])
            return ":".join([sku, quantity, "configurable", hair_metal,])

        return ":".join([sku, quantity, price, product["name"],])