HOWTO process your hotel room [refx]

- Replace any partial roll of toilet paper with a fresh one

- Gather all signs, placards, ads, offers, ?magazines,? Gideon Bibles, or other marketing materials strewn throughout the room; place in lowest dresser drawer; close (and optionally duct-tape) drawer

- Collect all fake plants, fake art objects, and other distracting kipple; place in closet; close closet door

- On one newly marketing-free surface, prominently place photo of family you miss

- Hang up thing to wear tomorrow; if wrinkled, hang in bathroom with shower running

- Google for local public radio or college radio stations; retune radio accordingly

- Set at least two alarms

- Call room service; order large pot of coffee to arrive 30 minutes before you plan to wake up in the morning (this becomes another alarm)

- Call family to say Good night

- Turn TV to wherever Law & Order is playing (somewhere, Law & Order is always playing)

- Wash hands

- Brush teeth

- Miss family

- Try to sleep without obsessing over who used the first half of that toilet paper. Then slept where you are right now. Maybe naked.

- Put on more layers; try to sleep again

http://www.kungfugrippe.com/post/49972928/howto-process-your-new-hotel-room-replace-any