Monadic MySQLi, take I

mysql.php

<?php

include_once('./lib/utils.php');

function rtn() {
  $xs = func_get_args();
  $y  = call_user_func_array('mysqli_prepare', $xs);
  if ($y === false)
    die(nok( 'MySQL Error: ' . hesc(mysqli_error($xs[0])) ));
  return $y;
}

function bind() {
  $xs = func_get_args();
  $y  = call_user_func_array('mysqli_stmt_bind_param', v2r($xs));
  if ($y === false)
    die(nok( 'MySQL Error while binding:' . "\n" . hfr($xs) ));
  return $y;
}

function run($a) {
  $xs = func_get_args();
  $statement = $xs[0];
  $y  = call_user_func_array('mysqli_stmt_execute', $xs);
  if ($y === false)
    die(nok( 'MySQL Error while binding:' . "\n" . hfr($xs) ));
  $s = $statement->get_result(); // Mutability, wooo~
  if ($s === false)
    return handleEither($statement);
  $data = Array();
  while ($row = $s->fetch_array(MYSQLI_ASSOC)) {
    array_push($data, $row);
  }
  return $data;
}

function chain() {
  $xs   = func_get_args();
  $db   = array_shift($xs);
  $q    = array_shift($xs);
  $rest = $xs;
  //
  $m    = rtn($db, $q);
  $xs1  = Array($m);
  $xs1  = array_merge($xs1, $rest);
  //
  call_user_func_array('bind', $xs1);
  return run($m);
}

function v2r($arr) { // Kittens are sad.
  if (strnatcmp(phpversion(),'5.3') >= 0) {
    $refs = array();
    foreach($arr as $key => $value)
      $refs[$key] = &$arr[$key];
    return $refs;
  }
  return $arr;
}

function handleEither($x) {
  if ($x->errno !== 0)
    die(nok('Execution failure (' . $x->errno . '): ' . $x->error));
  else
    return Array();
}

function sqlInArray($db, $xs) {
  $ys = Array();
  foreach ($xs as $x) {
    $ys []= mysqli_real_escape_string($db, $x);
  }
  return '("' . implode('", "', $ys) . '")';
}