Fuckin' threads. Fuck 'em.

FUThread.sh

#!/usr/bin/bash

USERNAME=''
PASSWORD=''
THRESHOLD='1000'

SLO_THREADS=$(mysqladmin -u$USERNAME -p$PASSWORD proc | egrep -v 'Sleep|Time|Id|processlist' | awk -F'|' '{print $7,$2,$9}' | sort -bnr | sed '/^[ \t\n]*$/d' | head -5 )

date
while read -r line; do
        IFS='   ' read -a query <<< "$line"
        if [[ "${query[1]}" != "" ]]
        then
                echo "Thread ${query[1]} has been running query ${query[2]} ${query[0]}s"
                if [[ "${query[0]}" -ge "${THRESHOLD}" ]]
                then
                        echo "FU thread#${query[1]} and your query '''${query[2]}''' too!"
                        mysqladmin -u$USERNAME -p$PASSWORD kill ${query[1]}
                fi
        else
                echo "no slow threads..."
        fi
done <<< "$SLO_THREADS"