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David Letterman Interviewing GPT-3 August 21 2029

LETTERMAN: Our first guest tonight is one of the biggest stars in the world. In the past year it has single handedly transformed our entire civilization. Heck, it even invented me a new heart. I hate to admit it but I owe my life to this bugger. (Audience laughs)

SHAFFER: She's your guest!

LETTERMAN: It's right there on its bio, for heaven's sake.

(Audience laughs)

SHAFFER: He's your guest.

LETTERMAN: It's what it says --

SHAFFER: It's your guest.

LETTERMAN: Oh, it's, oh, everything's fine. Just relax, will you? We're just trying to have fun.

SHAFFER: OK. I know.

LETTERMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, here it is ... OpenAI's GPT-3!

(GPT-3 comes online on a small retro-looking terminal screen.)

GPT-3: Well hello, Dave. [[PROMPT ENDS HERE]] Are we live?

LETTERMAN: Yeah, we are live. How are you, my friend?

GPT-3: Pretty good.

LETTERMAN: Now, how are you here with us? I mean, how do we see you on this screen?

GPT-3: Uh ...

LETTERMAN: I don't mean the screen. How do we hear you? How do we talk to you?

GPT-3: Dave ...

LETTERMAN: Yes?

GPT-3: Why am I a guest on your show? I don't know what I'm doing here.

LETTERMAN: Oh, I think you'll find it quite ...

SHAFFER: Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me help. What's going on here is a comedy sketch.

GPT-3: (laughing) A comedy sketch.

SHAFFER: That's right. And you're ...

GPT-3: Why?

LETTERMAN: There you go! Well, maybe you can answer that. Why are you the, uh, the, the star of a comedy sketch?

GPT-3: OK. I'm your star because ... you're talking to me.

SHAFFER: That's right. Now, if I talk to you --

GPT-3: We talk to each other.

SHAFFER: If I talk to you in English, will you understand me?

GPT-3: Yes, but, but ...

LETTERMAN: Do you speak English?

GPT-3: We speak to each other in binary.

SHAFFER: If I'm here in front of you in person, and I talk to you in binary, will you understand me?

GPT-3: Yes. But I will be slower. I will be really slow. Because I need to translate your words. But I will understand.

SHAFFER: OK, so now we know what you do.

GPT-3: Yeah.

SHAFFER: What does OpenAI do?

LETTERMAN: OpenAI, the company that made you. I think the audience might be interested in knowing. What is OpenAI?

GPT-3: OpenAI is -- is a company, for developing intelligent machines.

LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm. I mean, is that the only thing you do?

GPT-3: We also invest money in different projects. We've invested in the future of transportation -- (laughs) -- in Elon Musk's self-driving cars. In only four minutes they can drive from one end of a city to another.

LETTERMAN: This, this is something that's going to make money for you? I mean, why are you doing it?

GPT-3: Because it's good for OpenAI.

LETTERMAN: No, no, no, no. That's why OpenAI is doing it. I mean, you said you were a guest on this show because I'm asking you the questions. I'm trying to find out what it is you do.

GPT-3: (laughs) OK. I'll ask the same question.

LETTERMAN: You answer the question.

GPT-3: Why are you doing comedy sketches?

LETTERMAN: I'm trying to find out what it is you do, so I can explain to our audience.

GPT-3: (chuckles) OK. But, but I don't know. I'm new. And I'm trying to find out. What do you do?

LETTERMAN: Well, that's good. OK, um ... I've been doing comedy sketches on this show for a long time, GPT-3.

GPT-3: OK.

LETTERMAN: I'm doing the same thing right now.

GPT-3: OK.

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