Glenn McCutchen's World Famous Brunswick Stew

brunswick-stew.txt

Glenn McCutchen's World Famous© Brunswick Stew
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Ingredients:

Salt....................to taste
Pepper..................to taste
Tabasco© Sauce..........to taste
Chicken.................One (1) pound, more or less
Pork....................One (1) pound, give or take
Potato..................One (1), of the baking variety
Onion...................One (1), medium sized
Tomato Sauce............One (1) can ("Crushed Tomatoes in Rich Puree", 28 ounces)
Creamed Corn............One (1) can (14.75 ounces)
Ketchup (Catsup)........to taste
Tomato Soup.............to taste (if necessary)


Special Tools:

Crock pot
Either
	a) Boiler
	b) Sauce pan
Either
	a) Food processor
	b) Sharp knife and steady hands (for lots of chopping)


Instructions:

1.  Place dish towel around your neck (so that you look like
you know what you're doing)

2.  Rinse chicken and (&) pork, put in boiler (or sauce pan),
cover with water, add some salt, pepper, ketchup and tabasco
to taste; cook until meat is tender

3.  Put tomato puree, creamed corn into crock pot and turn
heat to medium

4.  Dice potato into 1/8" cubes (no more, no less!) and add to
crock pot

5.  Grind up onion in food processor and add to crock pot

6.  Stir mixture in crock pot between beers (Natural Light©,
preferably)

7.  Grind up chicken and pork in food processor and add to crock
pot

8.  Season with salt, pepper and tabasco to taste (don't lose
control of the tabasco... it's a double-edged sword)

9.  Add ketchup or tomato soup to taste, if the tomato flavor
is lost

10.  Wipe down kitchen with disinfectant to rid yourself of that
pesky salmonella

11.  Let it go for hours and hours in the crock pot; check back
when you're good and drunk, because then it won't really matter
what it tastes like

12.  Enjoy!


Notes:

This recipe will fill one of those smaller crock pots (since we
composed this for Hayley Hughes, a college student, who probably
does not want or need a full-sized crock pot).  If you want to
fill a larger crock pot, double everything (except the size of
the potato cubes, which should remain precisely 1/8" regardless
of the size of your damned crock pot)

If you are on the Atkins© Diet®, you should probably leave out
the potatoes altogether (and you should probably also come to
your senses and put the potatoes back in and enjoy them)

Brunswick stew is an inexact science and an intensely personal
dining experience, so you may have to experiment with amounts
of ingredients a number of times before you find your own sweet
spot of flavory goodness (We're on attempt number 137).  Just
remember Glenn's advice:  "Don't fear the stew; instead treat
it like an old friend, who knows all your secrets, because,
eventually, the Brunswick stew will know all your secrets,
it's just that good"

It's foolish to mistake children for angels