andy turns 25

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All it took to make him smile?
Pretend that you're a garbage pile

You spent that trip in mom's lap
Covering her with puke and crap

That pukey fucker, that little buster
Now with less puke, and golden luster!

He'll wake up at the dawn's ass crack
Production-asist with a native knack

He'll smoke or skewer, filet and fry
Only rarely spreading e-coli

He can jam on a guitar or sail a ship
With a trophy husband's arsenal he's equipped

I bring this up because you're old as balls
Your nips are dropping, your head? it balds

You need a little pick-me up
I know your ancient, but your time's not up

With twenty five there's lots to see
You can rent a car without the fee

Actually that's all you'll get
Try not get your panties wet

In conclusion, nothing's changed
you're older but it's all the same

Even if you get jack shit
At least we like you a little bit

In conclusion, dear brother, with pomp and cachet:
go have a fucking great birthday