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php-mssql-*nix.md

Buy this guy a bear

http://www.synet.sk/php/en/230-php-drivers-for-microsoft-sql-server-mssql-sqlsrv-utf8

Initial what the fuck

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/5953882/connecting-to-mssql-using-pdo-through-php-and-linux

For adventurous types

http://blogs.msdn.com/b/brian_swan/archive/2011/10/13/microsoft-announces-sql-server-odbc-driver-for-linux.aspx

This might save you

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/10834175/php-5-4-on-linux-how-to-connect-with-ms-sql-server-2008

Some typical issues after connecting

http://pymssql.sourceforge.net/faq.php

This will fix your charset via "unsupported" UTF-8

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/13377812/getting-data-with-utf-8-charset-from-mssql-server-using-php-freetds-extension

And remember whereever you are, server might be stupid and not USEing database. So tell it explicitly just to be safe.

Probably better to memorize these: http://www.sql-server-helper.com/error-messages/msg-1-500.aspx