getHTTPCode.php

<?php
function getHTTPCode($code) {
	switch($code) {
		// From https://www.iana.org/assignments/http-status-codes/http-status-codes.xhtml (2016-03-01)
		case 100:
			return '100 - Continue';
			break;
		case 101:
			return '101 - Switching Protocols';
			break;
		case 102:
			return '102 - Processing';
			break;
		case 200:
			return '200 - OK';
			break;
		case 201:
			return '201 - Created';
			break;
		case 202:
			return '202 - Accepted';
			break;
		case 203:
			return '203 - Non-Authoritative Information';
			break;
		case 204:
			return '204 - No Content';
			break;
		case 205:
			return '205 - Reset Content';
			break;
		case 206:
			return '206 - Partial Content';
			break;
		case 207:
			return '207 - Multi-Status';
			break;
		case 208:
			return '208 - Already Reported';
			break;
		case 226:
			return '226 - IM Used';
			break;
		case 300:
			return '300 - Multiple Choices';
			break;
		case 301:
			return '301 - Moved Permanently';
			break;
		case 302:
			return '302 - Found';
			break;
		case 303:
			return '303 - See Other';
			break;
		case 304:
			return '304 - Not Modified';
			break;
		case 305:
			return '305 - Use Proxy';
			break;
		case 306:
			return '306 - (Unused)';
			break;
		case 307:
			return '307 - Temporary Redirect';
			break;
		case 308:
			return '308 - Permanent Redirect';
			break;
		case 400:
			return '400 - Bad Request';
			break;
		case 401:
			return '401 - Unauthorized';
			break;
		case 402:
			return '402 - Payment Required';
			break;
		case 403:
			return '403 - Forbidden';
			break;
		case 404:
			return '404 - Not Found';
			break;
		case 405:
			return '405 - Method Not Allowed';
			break;
		case 406:
			return '406 - Not Acceptable';
			break;
		case 407:
			return '407 - Proxy Authentication Required';
			break;
		case 408:
			return '408 - Request Timeout';
			break;
		case 409:
			return '409 - Conflict';
			break;
		case 410:
			return '410 - Gone';
			break;
		case 411:
			return '411 - Length Required';
			break;
		case 412:
			return '412 - Precondition Failed';
			break;
		case 413:
			return '413 - Payload Too Large';
			break;
		case 414:
			return '414 - URI Too Long';
			break;
		case 415:
			return '415 - Unsupported Media Type';
			break;
		case 416:
			return '416 - Range Not Satisfiable';
			break;
		case 417:
			return '417 - Expectation Failed';
			break;
		case 421:
			return '421 - Misdirected Request';
			break;
		case 422:
			return '422 - Unprocessable Entity';
			break;
		case 423:
			return '423 - Locked';
			break;
		case 424:
			return '424 - Failed Dependency';
			break;
		case 425:
			return '425 - Unassigned';
			break;
		case 426:
			return '426 - Upgrade Required';
			break;
		case 427:
			return '427 - Unassigned';
			break;
		case 428:
			return '428 - Precondition Required';
			break;
		case 429:
			return '429 - Too Many Requests';
			break;
		case 430:
			return '430 - Unassigned';
			break;
		case 431:
			return '431 - Request Header Fields Too Large';
			break;
		case 451:
			return '451 - Unavailable For Legal Reasons';
			break;
		case 500:
			return '500 - Internal Server Error';
			break;
		case 501:
			return '501 - Not Implemented';
			break;
		case 502:
			return '502 - Bad Gateway';
			break;
		case 503:
			return '503 - Service Unavailable';
			break;
		case 504:
			return '504 - Gateway Timeout';
			break;
		case 505:
			return '505 - HTTP Version Not Supported';
			break;
		case 506:
			return '506 - Variant Also Negotiates';
			break;
		case 507:
			return '507 - Insufficient Storage';
			break;
		case 508:
			return '508 - Loop Detected';
			break;
		case 509:
			return '509 - Unassigned';
			break;
		case 510:
			return '510 - Not Extended';
			break;
		case 511:
			return '511 - Network Authentication Required';
			break;

		// Because why not?
		case 418:
			return '418 - I\'m a teapot';
			break;

		// From https://github.com/joho/7XX-rfc (2015-11-06)
		case 701:
			return '701 - Meh';
			break;
		case 702:
			return '702 - Emacs';
			break;
		case 703:
			return '703 - Explosion';
			break;
		case 704:
			return '704 - Goto Fail';
			break;
		case 705:
			return '705 - I wrote the code and missed the necessary validation by an oversight (see 795)';
			break;
		case 710:
			return '710 - PHP';
			break;
		case 711:
			return '711 - Convenience Store';
			break;
		case 712:
			return '712 - NoSQL';
			break;
		case 718:
			return '718 - Haskell';
			break;
		case 719:
			return '719 - I am not a teapot';
			break;
		case 720:
			return '720 - Unpossible';
			break;
		case 721:
			return '721 - Known Unknowns';
			break;
		case 722:
			return '722 - Unknown Unknowns';
			break;
		case 723:
			return '723 - Tricky';
			break;
		case 724:
			return '724 - This line should be unreachable';
			break;
		case 725:
			return '725 - It works on my machine';
			break;
		case 726:
			return '726 - It\'s a feature, not a bug';
			break;
		case 727:
			return '727 - 32 bits is plenty';
			break;
		case 730:
			return '730 - Fucking Bower';
			break;
		case 731:
			return '731 - Fucking Rubygems';
			break;
		case 732:
			return '732 - Fucking Unic💩de';
			break;
		case 733:
			return '733 - Fucking Deadlocks';
			break;
		case 734:
			return '734 - Fucking Deferreds';
			break;
		case 735:
			return '735 - Fucking IE';
			break;
		case 736:
			return '736 - Fucking Race Conditions';
			break;
		case 737:
			return '737 - FuckThreadsing';
			break;
		case 738:
			return '738 - Fucking Bundler';
			break;
		case 739:
			return '739 - Fucking Windows';
			break;
		case 740:
			return '740 - Computer says no';
			break;
		case 741:
			return '741 - Compiling';
			break;
		case 742:
			return '742 - A kitten dies';
			break;
		case 743:
			return '743 - I thought I knew regular expressions';
			break;
		case 744:
			return '744 - Y U NO write integration tests?';
			break;
		case 745:
			return '745 - I don\'t always test my code, but when I do I do it in production';
			break;
		case 746:
			return '746 - Missed Ballmer Peak';
			break;
		case 747:
			return '747 - Motherfucking Snakes on the Motherfucking Plane';
			break;
		case 748:
			return '748 - Confounded by Ponies';
			break;
		case 749:
			return '749 - Reserved for Chuck Norris';
			break;
		case 750:
			return '750 - Didn\'t bother to compile it';
			break;
		case 753:
			return '753 - Syntax Error';
			break;
		case 754:
			return '754 - Too many semi-colons';
			break;
		case 755:
			return '755 - Not enough semi-colons';
			break;
		case 756:
			return '756 - Insufficiently polite';
			break;
		case 757:
			return '757 - Excessively polite';
			break;
		case 759:
			return '759 - Unexpected T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM';
			break;
		case 761:
			return '761 - Hungover';
			break;
		case 762:
			return '762 - Stoned';
			break;
		case 763:
			return '763 - Under-Caffeinated';
			break;
		case 764:
			return '764 - Over-Caffeinated';
			break;
		case 765:
			return '765 - Railscamp';
			break;
		case 766:
			return '766 - Sober';
			break;
		case 767:
			return '767 - Drunk';
			break;
		case 768:
			return '768 - Accidentally Took Sleeping Pills Instead Of Migraine Pills During Crunch Week';
			break;
		case 769:
			return '769 - Questionable Maturity Level';
			break;
		case 771:
			return '771 - Cached for too long';
			break;
		case 772:
			return '772 - Not cached long enough';
			break;
		case 773:
			return '773 - Not cached at all';
			break;
		case 774:
			return '774 - Why was this cached?';
			break;
		case 775:
			return '775 - Out of cash';
			break;
		case 776:
			return '776 - Error on the Exception';
			break;
		case 777:
			return '777 - Coincidence';
			break;
		case 778:
			return '778 - Off By One Error';
			break;
		case 779:
			return '779 - Off By Too Many To Count Error';
			break;
		case 780:
			return '780 - Project owner not responding';
			break;
		case 781:
			return '781 - Operations';
			break;
		case 782:
			return '782 - QA';
			break;
		case 783:
			return '783 - It was a customer request, honestly';
			break;
		case 784:
			return '784 - Management, obviously';
			break;
		case 785:
			return '785 - TPS Cover Sheet not attached';
			break;
		case 786:
			return '786 - Try it now';
			break;
		case 787:
			return '787 - Further Funding Required';
			break;
		case 788:
			return '788 - Designer\'s final designs weren\'t';
			break;
		case 789:
			return '789 - Not my department';
			break;
		case 791:
			return '791 - The Internet shut down due to copyright restrictions';
			break;
		case 792:
			return '792 - Climate change driven catastrophic weather event';
			break;
		case 793:
			return '793 - Zombie Apocalypse';
			break;
		case 794:
			return '794 - Someone let PG near a REPL';
			break;
		case 795:
			return '795 - #heartbleed (see 705)';
			break;
		case 797:
			return '797 - This is the last page of the Internet. Go back';
			break;
		case 799:
			return '799 - End of the world';
			break;

		// If there's nothing, return the code alone
		default:
			return $code;
	}
}