Force yourself to learn JavaScript.

screwed.js

// If you're a glutton for punishment, and/or claim
// that JavaScript libraries have too much "bloat",
// use this to force yourself to write JS longhand.

(function(window) {
  function screwed() {
    window._ = null;
    window.$ = null;
    window.$A = null;
    window.$F = null;
    window.$H = null;
    window.$R = null;
    window.$w = null;
    window.$defined = null;
    window.$type = null;
    window.$merge = null;
    window.$extend = null;
    window.$native = null;
    window.$chk = null;
    window.$pick = null;
    window.$random = null;
    window.$time = null;
    window.$clear = null;
    window.$$ = null;
    window.dojo = null;
    window.Ext = null;
    window.jQuery = null;
    window.SC = null;
    window.YAHOO = null;
    window.YUI = null;
    window.Zepto = null;
    window.setTimeout(screwed, 100);
  }
  screwed();
})(this);

True. I mean, the DOM remains extended/polluted, but good luck trying to use the "getters" of $ or $$.

Which reminds me, added: $A, $F, $R, $w too. :)

Nice. I can imagine this as Chromium or Firefox plugin (or bookmarklet at least) :-D

Short-hand one-time alternative:

window._ = window.$ = window.$A = window.$F = window.$H = window.$R = window.$w = window.$defined = window.$type = window.$merge = window.$extend = window.$native = window.$chk = window.$pick = window.$random = window.$time = window.$clear = window.$$ = window.dojo = window.Ext = window.jQuery = window.SC = window.YAHOO = window.YUI = window.Zepto = null;

Or even shorter:

_=$=$A=$F=$H=$R=$w=$defined=$type=$merge=$extend=$native=$chk=$pick=$random=$time=$clear=$$=dojo=Ext=jQuery=SC=YAHOO=YUI=Zepto=null;

For self-calling:

function z7(){_=$=$A=$F=$H=$R=$w=$defined=$type=$merge=$extend=$native=$chk=$pick=$random=$time=$clear=$$=dojo=Ext=jQuery=SC=YAHOO=YUI=Zepto=null;setTimeout(z7,9);}z7();

And pretty much ruin most scripts:

function z7(){_=$=$A=$F=$H=$R=$w=$defined=$type=$merge=$extend=$native=$chk=$pick=$random=$time=$clear=$$=dojo=Ext=jQuery=SC=YAHOO=YUI=Zepto=document.getElementById=document.getElementByClassName=document.getElementByName=document.getElementByTagName=document.getElementByTagNameNS=null;setTimeout(z7,9);}z7();