Browserified (a parody of Stupify)

browserified.txt

Browserified (a parody of Stupify https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjKY3gg4T3Q)

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Yeah, bringing you another disturbing code base
from the mind of one sick dev who can't tell the difference
and gets minified

I've been waiting my whole life for just one func
And all I needed was just one func
How can you say that you don't give a func
I find myself uglified, coming back again
All I wanted was just one func
One tiny little innocent func
And when I feel like I'm scope out of func
I find myself browserified, coming back again

Why, do you like playing around with
My, function scope of reality
I, can feel it all start building
I think my process is running now

Why, do you like playing around with
My, function scope of reality
I, can feel it all start streaming away
See but I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could just pipe and forget it?
Don't you think it can flow control when I don't let it?
I get beautified
It's all the same you say
Live with it

But I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could build and regret it?
Don't you think it can concat when I don't make it?
I get watchified [x2]

All the devs on the West coast rock
And all the devs on the East coast rock
And all the devs in the Midwest rock
I find myself reactified, coming back again
All the suits in the high rise rock
And all the hipsters in the startups rock
And all los hackers en sus sótanos rock
I find myself coffeeified, coming back again

Why, do you like playing around with
My, function scope of reality
I, can feel it all start throwing
I think I'm catching now

Why, do you like playing around with
My, function scope of reality
I, can feel the process ticking away
See but I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could checkout a branch and just git it?
Don't you think npm --saves when I don't make it?
I get emojified
It's all the same you say
Live with it

But I don't get it
Don't you think I asked on Twitter and Reddit?
Don't you think StackOverflow told me to shove it?
I get prettified [x2]

Tefached
[English translation: "Be scared"]

And don't deny me
No baby now, don't deny me
And darlin' don't be afraid...

But I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we src() and then dest() it?
Don't you think it can bundle() when I don't let it?
I get streamified

Look in my repo, blacklist my code
I begin to browserify. Ah! [x4]
Look in my repo, vinyl my soul [x4]
Look in my repo! [x3]
I begin to browserify! Ah!