Toy problem: SplitSort. Given an input string, render the space-separated entries across `n` columns, vertically, and in alphabetical order. (i.e., implement an elementary UNIX `ls -a` command)

splort.js

// test strings
var str1 = 'the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog and this is probably the longest sentence you have ever come across because it just has so many words in it that it just runs on and on needlessly can you tell';
var str2 = 'Oh, what a harmony of abandonment and impulse, of unnatural and yet graceful postures, in that mystical language of limbs, freed from the weight of corporeal matter, marked quantity infused with new substantial form, as if the holy band were struck by an impetuous wind, breath of life, frenzy of delight, rejoicing song of praise miraculously transformed, from the sound that it was, into image.';
var rand = 'Oh, what a harmony of abandonment? and impulse!, of  unnatural  (and yet graceful) postures, in that mystical language of limbs, freed from the weight of corporeal matter, marked quantity infused with new substantial form; as if the holy band were struck by an impetuous wind, breath of life: frenzy of delight: rejoicing song of praise, miraculously transformed, from the sound that it was, into image.';
var files = '. .. .CFUserTextEncoding .DS_Store .Trash .avcd .babel.json .bash_history .bash_profile .bashrc .cache .config .cups .dbshell .divshot .firebaserc .gem .gemrc .ghc .gitconfig .heroku .irb-history .lein .local .m2 .mkshrc .mongorc.js .netrc .node-gyp .npm .oracle_jre_usage .pgpass .profile .psql_history .rnd .rvm .ssh .v8flags.3.28.73.mehanian.json .zlogin .zshrc Applications Creative%w%Cloud%w%Files Desktop Documents Downloads Library Movies Music Pictures Public dump.rdb';

// SplitSort
// @param {string} input: a string containing a space-separated list of entries
// @param {number} cols: the desired number of columns to render
// @param {boolean} lc: lower-case entries of input string, if true
var ls = listAll = splitSort = splort = function (input, cols, lc) {
  // ensure cols is a positive integer; default to 3
  cols = cols > 0 ? cols : 3;

  // ensure input is a string and contains at least as many words as desired columns
  if (cols > input.split(' ').length) {
    throw new TypeError('The number of columns cannot exceed the number of available words.');
  }

  var
    _format = function (str, lower) {
      return str.split(' ').map(function (val) {
        var len = val.length;
        // lower-case the entry, if flag is passed
        val = lower ? val.toLowerCase() : val;
        // remove whitespace and , : ; ! " ? ( ) from entry
        val = val.replace(/,|:|;|!|\"|\?|\(|\)|\s/g, '');
        // add deliberate whitespace
        val = val.replace(/%w%/g, ' ');
        // remove trailing periods, unless entry is '.' or '..'
        val = (len > 2 && val[len - 1] === '.') ? val.slice(0, len - 1) : val;
        return val;
        // sort alphabetically and drop any false values
      }).sort().filter(function (val) { return !!val; });
    },

    _chunk = function (list, size) {
      if (list.constructor.name !== 'Array') {
        throw new TypeError('`list` must be an array.');
      }
      var i = 0, result = [];
      while (i < list.length) {
        result.push(list.slice(i, i += size));
      }
      return result;
    },

    // return the length of the longest string in a given column
    _colWidth = function (column) {
      if (column.constructor.name !== 'Array') {
        throw new TypeError('`column` must be an array.');
      }
      return Math.max.apply(null, column.map(function (val) { return val.length; }));
    },

    _repeat = function (char, count) {
      var result = '';
      for (var i = 0; i < count; i++) {
        result += char;
      }
      return result;
    },

    _align = function (col, row) {
      if (matrix[col - 1] && matrix[col - 1][row]) {
        return _repeat(' ', (_colWidth(matrix[col - 1]) - matrix[col - 1][row].length + 5));
      } else {
        throw new RangeError('The number of words in the input string do not evenly ' +
          'split into ' + cols + ' columns. Try applying the function again with ' +
          (cols - 1) + ' or ' + (cols + 1) + ' columns.');
      }
    },

    // begin on a new line for proper alignment
    result = '\n',

    // split the data into an array
    wordList = _format(input, lc),

    // divide the number of words by the desired number of columns to yield column length (i.e., rows)
    colLength = Math.ceil(wordList.length / cols),

    // chunk into subarrays of colLength
    matrix = _chunk(wordList, colLength);

  // render (by row)
  for (var r = 0; r < colLength; r++) {
    // first column
    result += matrix[0][r];
    // remaining columns
    for (var c = 1; c < cols; c++) {
      // The padding is equal to the length of the longest word in the column,
      // minus the length of the word, plus a five-space buffer (see `_align`)
      result += _align(c, r);
      result += (matrix[c] && matrix[c][r]) ? matrix[c][r] : '';
    }
    result += '\n';
  }

  // logging output because `return` statements do not render the newline (\n) character.
  console.log(result);
  // return result;
};