panicsteve · January 19, 2012 18:26 · inturbidus · Jun 16, 2012 · bgallagh3r · Jul 20, 2012
diff --git a/gistfile1.txt b/gistfile1.txt
 Dear soon-to-be-former user,

 We've got some fantastic news!  Well, it's great news for us anyway.  You, on 
 the other hand, are fucked.

 We've just been acquired by:

 [ ] Facebook
 [ ] Google
 [ ] Twitter
 [ ] Other: _________________

 As you are aware, we've always provided a free service, and have never even 
 tried offering a for-pay option.  This means we've never had any income and 
 have been operating at a loss for our entire existence.  Since any schoolchild 
 can see this is unsustainable, it should have been more-or-less obvious to you 
 from the get-go that we were either going to crap up the site with ads at a 
 few cents per-click, or that we've always intended to be an acquisition target.
 You can do the math on that one.

 Your personal data which, until just now, was critical to our core business 
 will be deleted:

 [ ] Immediately
 [ ] Within a week
 [ ] Within 30 days

 We are excited to continue our core mission of connecting people with 
 solutions at our new home.  Please realize that this is so vague a statement 
 as to be completely meaningless.  But we just made so much money that at the 
 moment we genuinely believe this horseshit.  In reality, you will never hear 
 about us or anything we create ever again.  We are probably going to end up, 
 like, implementing a new scrollbar for Google Reader or something.

 Thanks so much for making our business so valuable and enticing to a much 
 larger company with more money than sense.

 Now grab your data while you still can and get out of here,

 Shiny happy Shit.ly management ninjas
 Connecting people with solutions
 "Shit.ly loves you!"
	Dear soon-to-be-former user,

	We've got some fantastic news! Well, it's great news for us anyway. You, on
	the other hand, are fucked.

	We've just been acquired by:

	[ ] Facebook
	[ ] Google
	[ ] Twitter
	[ ] Other: _________________

	As you are aware, we've always provided a free service, and have never even
	tried offering a for-pay option. This means we've never had any income and
	have been operating at a loss for our entire existence. Since any schoolchild
	can see this is unsustainable, it should have been more-or-less obvious to you
	from the get-go that we were either going to crap up the site with ads at a
	few cents per-click, or that we've always intended to be an acquisition target.
	You can do the math on that one.

	Your personal data which, until just now, was critical to our core business
	will be deleted:

	[ ] Immediately
	[ ] Within a week
	[ ] Within 30 days

	We are excited to continue our core mission of connecting people with
	solutions at our new home. Please realize that this is so vague a statement
	as to be completely meaningless. But we just made so much money that at the
	moment we genuinely believe this horseshit. In reality, you will never hear
	about us or anything we create ever again. We are probably going to end up,
	like, implementing a new scrollbar for Google Reader or something.

	Thanks so much for making our business so valuable and enticing to a much
	larger company with more money than sense.

	Now grab your data while you still can and get out of here,

	Shiny happy Shit.ly management ninjas
	Connecting people with solutions
	"Shit.ly loves you!"