I don't know if Ruby will let me do this and I'm pretty sure it shouldn't but I'm really enjoying this crazy idea.

i_have_a_problem.rb

cloud_monitoring_alarm "memory_usage alarm" do
  check_label "memory"
  criteria do
    warn_if(
      percentage("used", "total"),
      ">",
      100,
      "Used percentage too high"
    )
    warn_if metric("thing"), "<", 1
    ok "This thing is fine"
  end
  notification_plan_id npid
  action :create
end

not_sure_this_is_better.rb

memory_usage_check = cloud_monitoring_criteria do
   warn_if(
    percentage("used", "total"),
    ">",
    100,
    "Used percentage too high"
  )
  warn_if metric("thing"), "<", 1
  ok "This thing is fine"
end

cloud_monitoring_alarm "memory_usage alarm" do
  check_label "memory"
  criteria memory_usage_check
  notification_plan_id npid
  action :create
end