gistfile1.txt

~ $ fortune | cowsay -r
 _________________________________________
/  Home centers are designed for the      \
| do-it-yourselfer who's willing to pay   |
| higher prices for the convenience of    |
| being able to shop for lumber,          |
| hardware, and toasters all in one       |
| location. Notice I say "shop for," as   |
| opposed to "obtain." This is the major  |
| drawback of home centers: they are      |
| always out of everything except         |
| artificial Christmas trees. The home    |
| center employees have no time to        |
| reorder merchandise because they are    |
| too busy applying little price stickers |
| to every object -- every board, washer, |
| nail and screw -- in the entire store   |
| ...                                     |
|                                         |
| Let's say a piece in your toilet tank   |
| breaks, so you remove the broken part,  |
| take it to the home center, and ask an  |
| employee if he has a replacement. The   |
| employee, who has never is his life     |
| even seen the inside of a toilet tank,  |
| will peer at the broken part in very    |
| much the same way that a member of a    |
| primitive Amazon jungle tribe would     |
| look at an electronic calculator, and   |
| then say, "We're expecting a shipment   |
| of these sometime around the middle of  |
| next week."                             |
|                                         |
| -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the       |
\ Screw"                                  /
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