Skip to content

Instantly share code, notes, and snippets.

@pmark
Created June 2, 2025 20:01
Show Gist options
  • Save pmark/21af46e5d79314e19f57ffb023444650 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
Save pmark/21af46e5d79314e19f57ffb023444650 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
Forget being right

On Accepting Unfairness Temporarily:

"Sometimes you have to give up being right to get what you want." - Unknown

"The person who cares least about the relationship has the most power in it. The person who cares most has to do the heavy lifting." - Relationship reality

"You can be right, or you can be married." - Common marriage wisdom

"Fairness is a luxury that stable relationships can afford. Unstable relationships require triage." - Adapted from therapy wisdom

Reframing the Injustice:

"I'm not admitting I'm wrong - I'm choosing peace over being right."

"This isn't about fault - it's about who has the capacity to change the pattern first."

"I'm not taking all the blame - I'm taking all the action because I can."

Perspective on the Long Game:

"The strongest person in the relationship is often the one who bends first, not the one who breaks."

"I'm not being weak by not defending myself - I'm being strategic about what battles matter."

"My ego wants justice. My family needs peace. I choose my family."

Truth About Change:

"Someone has to go first. It might as well be me."

"I can't control her response, but I can control the dynamic by changing my part."

"Three months of swallowing my pride might save years of conflict."

Bottom Line: Your sense of injustice is probably accurate. But being right won't fix your family. Sometimes the person with the most capacity has to carry more of the load temporarily.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Sign up for free to join this conversation on GitHub. Already have an account? Sign in to comment