put a lot of effort into this and ended up not using it. can't get myself to just delete it, even though I can't remember if it even works.

parseDateString.js

function parseDateString(str, options) {
    var options = options || {}
      , american = options.american_format
      , local = options.local_time
      , reg = {}
      , sampleDate = new Date()
      , y = 0, mo = 0, d = 0, h = 0, mi = 0, s = 0
      , days = [
        'mon',
        'tues?',
        'weds?(?:nes)?',
        'thurs?',
        'fri',
        'sat(?:ur)',
        'sun'
      ]
      , months = ['jan(?:uary)',
                  'feb(?:ruary)',
                  'mar(?:ch)',
                  'apr(?:il)',
                  'may',
                  'june?',
                  'july?',
                  'aug(?:ust)',
                  'sept?(?:e)',
                  'oct(?:ober)',
                  'nov(?:ember)',
                  'dec(?:ember)'
                  ]
        ;

    if ( typeof american === 'undefined' ) {
        american = true;
    }

    if ( typeof local === 'undefined' ) {
        local = true;
    }

    reg['english'] = new RegExp('^((?:' 
                               + days.join('|') 
                               + ')(?:day)?)?[\\\s\\\,]{0,2}(' 
                               + months.join('|') 
                               + '?)[\\\s\\\,]{0,2}(\\\d?\\\d(?:nd|st|th)?)[\\\s\\\,]{0,2}((\\\d{0,4})?)$'
                               , 'i');

    reg['yyyymmdd'] = /^(\d{4})[\-\.](\d{2})[\-\.](\d{2})$/i;
    reg['timestamp'] = /^(\d{4})\-(\d{2})\-(\d{2})[T\s]?(\d{2})\:(\d{2})\:(\d{2})\-?(\d{2}\:00)?$/i;
    
    reg[(american ? 'mmddyyyy' : 'ddmmyyyy')] = /^(\d?\d)[\/\-\.](\d?\d)[\/\-\.]?(\d{4})?/i;

    for ( r in reg ) {
        var m = str.match(reg[r]);
        if ( m ) {
            if ( reg[r] === reg['english'] ) {
                d  = parseInt(m[3]);
                y  = parseInt(m[4]) || sampleDate.getFullYear();

                months.forEach(function(r, idx) {
                    if ( m[2].match(new RegExp(r, 'i')) ) {
                        mo = idx;
                    }
                });

            } else if ( reg[r] === reg[(american ? 'mmddyyyy' : 'ddmmyyyy')] ) {
                mo = (american === true ? m[1] : m[2]) - 1;
                d  = (american === true ? m[2] : m[1]);
                y  = m[3] || sampleDate.getFullYear();

            } else {
                y  = parseInt(m[1]);
                mo = parseInt(m[2]) - 1;
                d  = parseInt(m[3]);
                h  = m[4] ? parseInt(m[4]) : 0;
                mi = m[5] ? parseInt(m[5]) : 0;
                s  = m[6] ? parseInt(m[6]) : 0;
            }

            return Date.UTC(y, mo, d, h, mi, s) + (local ? (sampleDate.getTimezoneOffset() * 60000) : 0);
        } 
    }
}