The Great Experiment

spam.py

from twilio.rest import TwilioRestClient
from random import choice
import requests
import json

def random_issue():
    issues = json.loads(requests.get("https://api.github.com/repos/ComputerScienceHouse/Drink-JS/issues").text)
    return choice(issues)['body']

SPAM_SMS = [
    "Did you Know that Drink is Broken?",
    "10 out of 10 randomly surveyed people agree that drink needs to be fixed",
    "THIS JUST IN; Drink is broken again",
    "Latest projects put the status of drink to be somewhere between broken, and not broken",
    "You should fix drink",
    "Drink is broken",
    "Fix drink",
    "you should really fix drink",
    "I wouldn't be surprised if drink was broken right now",
    "We go live to CSH, where the drink machine is broken",
    "OH GOD THE BUGS, DRINK... IT HAS BUGS.. SAVE ME",
    "Hey, just letting you know that drink might be broken",
    "Just a friendly reminder that drink needs to be fixed",
    "Whats that boy?? Drink is broken?? OH NO",
    "IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? IS IT A DRINK PATCH?",
    "Drink must be fixed, this message paid for by CSHers for a better drink united",
    "hey buddy, want to fix me up?"
    "This is drink, fix me",
    "heyyyyyy big guy, is that a drink fix, or are you just happy to see me?",
    "Damn dude, i seriously need a fix, like a drink fix... fix drink... like right now",
    "drink.broken = true:",
    "if drink.broken: mcgary.spam() else: mcgary.spam(amount=less)",
    "So i got this websockets error, and now everyone is dead...",
    "I tried dropping a drink, and the universe ended",
    "Day 40 with out drink: society has broken down, everyone is dead, there is no hope left for humanity",
    "Captains log, stardate 112012.3022, drink is broken, i am declaring martial law",
    "I Ask you, not what I can do for you, but what you can do for drink",
    "4 score and 4 years ago, drink maybe was kinda working",
    "The probability of drink working is at 0%",
    "Final log entry: Earth has fallen into chaos, nothing is left, if only we had drinks",
    "You know what would be great? drop logs...",
    "Call an exterminator, cause there are bugs in drink",
    "MongoDB, Eventual consistency",
    "CHUG CHUG CHUG, or not, drink is broken so no drinks to chug",
    "BZZZT: Sean McGary to the command center, drink is exploding",
    "ALERT: SET CONDITION RED THROUGHOUT THE SHIP, DRINK IS BROKEN",
    "Frakking toasters are more reliable than drink",
    "Gorramit Mal, that McGary guy broken drink again",
    "Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Drink server surgeon",
    "Time has gone all wibbly wobbly, and yet drink still doesn't work",
    "EXTERMINATE THE BUGS, EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE",
    "YOU WILL BE UPGRADED, DRINK WILL BE UPGRADED",
    "We are the borg, you will adapt to service drink, resistance is futile",
    "Set a course for a working drink server, Warp 10, Engage",
    "In which CSH takes the matter of a janky drink server into its own hands",
    "Do, or do not, there is still a broken drink server",
    "This drink issue alert brought to you by CatFacts, the premier cat info service",
    random_issue(),

    ]

NUMBER = "xxxxx"
FROM = "xxxxx"
SID = "xxxxxx"
TOKEN = "xxxxx"

if __name__ == "__main__":
    api = TwilioRestClient(SID,TOKEN)
    message = choice(SPAM_SMS)
    print message
    api.sms.messages.create(
            to=NUMBER,
            from_=FROM,
            body=message)