Bob in Perl5

Bob.pm

use strict;
use warnings;

{
  package Bob;

  sub hey {
    if (&_shouting) {
      "Woah, chill out!"
    } elsif (&_question) {
      "Sure."
    } elsif (&_silence) {
      "Fine. Be that way!"
    } else {
      "Whatever."
    }
  }

  sub _silence {
    my ($input) = @_;
    $input =~ /^\s*$/;
  }

  sub _question {
    my ($input) = @_;
    $input =~ /\?$/;
  }

  sub _shouting {
    my ($input) = @_;
    ($input eq uc $input) && (lc $input ne $input);
  }

}
1;