Guinness pie recipe

guinness_pie

Guinness pie

Another entry in an ongoing series: Things that your picky, but still very
hungry, teenage sons will eat. There are probably a lot of steps here that
you could get away with skipping to speed up the process, but this really
isn't a bad way to spend a couple hours on a Sunday afternoon.
Bonus: Plenty of leftovers.

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INGREDIENTS
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- about 3 pounds of beef. I go with a chuck roast and break it down myself, 
but you could buy stew meat, or any cut really. Get something pretty cheap, 
and not too lean.
- a half-pound of bacon
- 10-12 Yukon gold potatoes
- 2-3 carrots
- 1-2 onions (Walla Walla sweets, white onions, whatever. Just not red.)
- 2 cloves of garlic
- 3 cans of Guinness Draught (or go crazy and try some other dark ale)
- 2 regular-sized cans of beef broth
- 2 sheets of puff pastry (packages in the freezer section usually have 
2 sheets, which is enough to cover a 9x13 baking dish)
- 1 egg
- Worcestershire sauce
- dijon mustard, or a little mustard powder
- flour
- corn starch
- salt and pepper
- butter and/or olive oil
- thyme
- optional: other herbs, like marjoram, rosemary, etc.

- some paper towels
- a big ziploc bag (or you can just use a big mixing bowl)
- a big pot (I use a cast iron Dutch oven)
- a 9x13 baking dish

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DIRECTIONS
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1. Turn on a Bourdain episode from your DVR, or a baseball game or something.
Get all your ingredients out, open one of the beers and sip while following 
the rest of these directions.

2. Break down your beef into smallish chunks, maybe 1 inch or so square. No 
need to be precise here, you just don't want massive chunks of meat when you 
take a bite. Deposit the meat in a big glass bowl, then open one of the beers 
and pour over top to marinate. Throw in a couple healthy pinches of salt and 
some cracks of black pepper. If you're adding some optional herbs (marjoram, 
rosemary, whatever), this is the time to toss them in, too. You don't have
to add them at all; if you do, just a pinch. Stir everything up so the beef
gets nice and coated, cover with plastic wrap and put in the fridge. It's great
if this marinates for an hour or two, but at least let it sit in there while
you do the rest of the prep.

3. Peel your potatoes, and cube into chunks maybe a little smaller than what
you did for the beef. Put them into a bowl for later. Dice up your onion --
you want to go nice and fine here so these end up melting into the stew -- 
and put into another bowl for later. Do 1 or 2 onions depending on how much
onion flavor you want to add. Same with the carrots, cut into small chunks
and go with as much as you want to have in the final dish. Set aside in a bowl
for later. Mince the garlic and, yep, set aside for later.

3A. THE ALTERNATE PATH: If you want, you can go with mashed potatoes on 
the side instead of in the pie. This is pretty traditional, really. To follow
this path, don't cut up your potatoes, just set them aside for now. But if 
you're like me most of the time, keep it simple and just cube up the potatoes
to add right into stew later.

4. Depending on how quick you are with a knife, your beef may not have been
marinating for all that long. Chill out for a while if you want to give it 
some more time, or go ahead and pull it out now.

5. Pull the bacon out of the fridge and dice it up. Put your big pot on the
stove and turn the heat to medium. Toss half the bacon into the pot and let
it start to render out some delicious bacon fat. Set out a plate with some
paper towels on it -- you'll be using this shortly.

6. While that's going on, mix together 1/3 cup flour with a couple pinches of 
salt and some cracks of black pepper. You'll be using this to coat your chunks
of beef, so if you mix this right in a big ziploc bag, it will be nice and easy
to toss everything around and get it coated. You can just do this in a mixing 
bowl, though, if you like.

7. Set out another plate with paper towels, and start transferring chunks of
beef onto it. Using some more papers towels, dab them dry. Well, you don't have
to get them *really* dry, just get most of the surface moisture off. Transfer
the meat into your seasoned flour mix, and continue until you've done this 
with about half the beef. Shake (or stir) well to coat with seasoned flour.

8. Keep an eye on that bacon. You don't want to get it crispy, just chewy.
Use your tongs and transfer the bacon onto that other be-paper-toweled plate 
for later. Then start browning the flour-coated beef chunks in that pot. 
You'll probably need to add some extra fat as you go, so keep butter or olive
oil handy. You don't need to fully cook the beef here, just brown the chunks 
on one side, flip for a little bit, and then transfer onto the same plate with
the bacon. NOTE: Do not try to brown too much beef at a time. Do it in batches
and it will go much faster because you're not cooling down your pot with a big
lump of something cold. Add a little butter/olive oil after each batch and
this will go fairly quickly. ANOTHER NOTE: Do not worry as the bottom of your 
pot starts building up some brown bits. This is what you want, because those
brown bits are flavor country.

9. While you're browning the first half of your beef, repeat the flouring
process from before. You can use the same ziploc, just mix up another 1/3 cup
flour with some salt and pepper. Dry off the rest of the beef from your 
marinade and transfer into the bag, shake to coat.

10. DO NOT DUMP OUT THE MARINADE.

11. Keep going with the browning of the beef until it's all done. You should
have a pot with a nice layer of brown on the bottom and a plate with a big pile
of delicious meat on it. Now throw the rest of the diced bacon into the pot
and start rendering out some more bacon fat.

12. When that batch of bacon is looking chewy, move it onto the meat plate
and dump your diced onions and garlic into the pot. Give them a good stir with
a wooden spoon, and add a dose of butter/olive oil if you need to. You want 
to saute these until they're looking soft and translucent. Stir a few more
times; this shouldn't take more than a few minutes.

13. Dump in the beer marinade that you set aside, then use your wooden spoon 
to start scraping up the delicious meaty brown bits from the bottom of the 
pot. Once you've got most of that off the bottom and mixed into the liquid, 
open the other can of beer and pour it in. Dump in your carrots and potatoes.

13A. THE ALTERNATE PATH: If you're going with mashed potatoes on the side
instead of in the pie, of course you won't be adding potatoes here.

14. Transfer the mighty contents of your meat plate back into the pot. Open
your cans of beef broth and pour them in to make sure everything is covered 
with liquid. Assuming you've added potatoes to the mix, you'll probably need 
both cans. If that still isn't enough liquid, add some water.

15. Turn the heat up to high, and bring everything to a boil. While it's 
heating up, add a couple tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce (you can skip 
this if you don't have any handy) and a couple squeezes of dijon (or a pinch
of mustard powder. Or just skip this too, if you want). Do add a couple 
pinches of thyme, though. You don't need a ton. And again, if you *don't* have
potatoes in here, you'll need less seasoning.

16. Once your pot comes up to a boil, turn the heat down to low and let it 
all simmer for at least an hour. Baby, you got a stew going. Make sure you 
stir every 10-15 minutes, and make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom 
of the pot. If it is, you've probably still got your heat too high.

16A. THE ALTERNATE PATH: While the stew is simmering, make your mashed 
potatoes. Put your Yukon golds on a plate and stab them on both sides. 
Do some quick math -- you want to pop these in the microwave for a little 
more than 1 minute per potato. If you're doing 10 potatoes, go for 12 minutes
in the microwave. Then flip them all over, and do another round in the 
microwave for the same amount of time. You can do this on the side while 
the stew is simmering, no problem. Once the potatoes are all done, transfer
them into a big mixing bowl (leave the skins on), pour in a few glugs of milk
and a stick of melted butter, and even a few spoons of sour cream if you like.
Season liberally with salt and cracked black pepper, then mash the crap out 
of all this. You'll end up with a great bowl of smashed potatoes, soft but 
with good texture.

17. After about half an hour, taste the broth and adjust the seasoning. The 
bacon will have provided some saltiness, but you'll almost definitely want 
to add some more salt here. A few cracks of black pepper, too. Maybe some more
herbs, but probably not. Just play it by ear. You should be noticing the sauce
thickening by now.

18. As the pot is simmering, pull your puff pastry sheets out of the freezer.
They usually take about half and hour to thaw out, so just open the package
and set them on your counter for later.

19. Keep tasting the pot every once in a while. You probably won't need to fix
the seasoning any more, but hey, I'm not you. After about an hour of simmering,
start preheating your oven on to 400 degrees. Pull out a coffee cup and mix 
a spoonful of corn starch into a little bit of warm water. Dump this into your 
pot and it will thicken things up even more. NOTE: I'm assuming you want 
a nice, thick gravy here. If you don't, or if you just want to eat this as 
a stew, you don't have to bother with the corn starch.

20. After 90 minutes of simmering or so, you should have a thick and delicious
stew in your pot. Pull out a 9x13 baking dish and start ladling the stew in. 
Now, if you have individual crocks, or if you want to parcel out into smaller
baking dishes for smaller servings, go for it. In fact, that will make
serving even easier. I go with a 9x13 because it's easy and handy, and my boys
will knock most of it off for dinner anyway.

21. Fill your baking dish up about 3/4 of the way with stew. You may have quite
a bit of stew left over here. THIS IS A GREAT THING.

22. Roll out the puff pastry over the top of your baking dish. Two sheets will 
cover a 9x13 pretty nicely, just overlap a little in the middle. Tear off any 
pastry that's hanging over the edges, and kind of pinch strips of it along the 
sides of the dish to make a nice rim around everything.

22. Crack your egg into a coffee cup and beat the crap out of it. Then brush
the egg over the top of the puff pastry to give it a little coating. This isn't
strictly necessary, but it's going to make the top crispy and beautiful.

23. Slide your baking dish into the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes. Just keep
an eye on it; you'll see the pastry top really start to puff up. Remove when 
the crust is looking nice and golden. Let it rest for a few minutes, and then 
use a knife to cut through the crust, sectioning off into portions.

24. Use your ladle to serve up helpings of your Guinness pie. If I make it with
potatoes in the stew, I just ladle right into a bowl. But if you followed the
alternate mashed-potato path, then scoop some of the mashed potatoes onto
a plate, and ladle a serving of the Guinness pie right alongside and let the 
gravy spill all over everything.

25.  Toss whatever's left in your stew pot into the fridge. It will taste even 
better after sitting around. Eat it as a regular stew, or buy some extra puff 
pastry to make a (much, much faster) second batch of pie in a couple days.