gistfile1.php

<?php
$velocities = array("turtle", "donkey", "rabbit");

$players = array(
  '1' => array(
    'name' => 'Foo',
    'velocity' => $velocities[rand(0,2)]), 
  '2' => array(
    'name' => 'Bar',
    'velocity' => $velocities[rand(0,2)]),
);

echo "(player 1) {$players['1']['name']} :: will go as fast as a {$players['1']['velocity']}\r\n";

$actions = array(
  array('action' => 'stumbles', 'distance' => 0 ),
  array('action' => 'leaps', 'distance' => rand(1,3) ),
  array('action' => 'strides', 'distance' => rand(1,3) ),
  array('action' => 'sprints', 'distance' => rand(1,5) ),
  array('action' => 'falls', 'distance' => 0 ),
  array('action' => 'shuffles', 'distance' => rand(1,2) ),
  array('action' => 'walks', 'distance' => rand(0,2) ),
  array('action' => 'runs', 'distance' => rand(0,2) ),
  array('action' => 'skips', 'distance' => rand(0,2) ),
  array('action' => 'gasps', 'distance' => 0 ),
  array('action' => 'cavorts', 'distance' => rand(1,3) ),
  array('action' => 'dances', 'distance' => rand(1,3) ),
  array('action' => 'pauses', 'distance' => 0 ),
  array('action' => 'zips', 'distance' => rand(1,5) ),
  array('action' => 'zooms', 'distance' => rand(1,5) ),
  array('action' => 'collapses', 'distance' => 0 ),
  array('action' => 'faceplants', 'distance' => 0 ),
);