https://repl.it/CPrZ/53 created by sethopia

Hello World Off (1.6).js

//Log 'Hello World' to the console in as convoluted and zany a way as possible!
//See some heroic examples in various languages here: http://codegolf.stackexchange.com/questions/4838/most-complex-hello-world-program-you-can-justify

//Define the function here
var helloWorld = function() {
	
	var abc = 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz';

	// declare the add function which will be used in decoderRing operations
	function add(startingValue, argumentValue) {
		return startingValue + argumentValue;
	}

	// declare the subtract function which will be used in decoderRing operations
	function subtract(startingValue, argumentValue) {
		return startingValue - argumentValue;
	}

	// declare the decoderRing which tells us how to determine each letter of our message
	var decoderRing = [
						[add, 33],
						[subtract, 29],
						[add, 7],
						[add, 0],
						[add, 3],
						[add, 38],
						[subtract, 4],
						[subtract, 34],
						[add, 3],
						[subtract, 6],
						[subtract, 8]
					 ];


//	var order = [33,4,11,11,14,52,48,14,17,11,3];

	function constructMessage() {
		// initialize destinationArr for message output
		var messageArr = [];

		// make the full alphabet to work with
		var alphabetArr = makeAlphabet(abc);

		// set the initial value that will be fed into the decoderRing
		var currentDecoderValue = 0;

		// loop through the decoderRing and pass each decoded letter into destinationArr for message output
		var nextLetter = "";
		for (var i = 0; i < decoderRing.length; i++) {
			nextLetterPosition = readDecoderRing(currentDecoderValue, i);
			messageArr.push(alphabetArr[nextLetterPosition]);
			currentDecoderValue = nextLetterPosition;
		}
		
		return messageArr;
	}

	function makeAlphabet() {
		return abc.split('').concat(abc.toUpperCase().split('').concat(' '));
	}

	function readDecoderRing(currentDecoderValue, decoderRingPosition) {

		// get the function and argument to perform from the next position on the decoderRing 
		var nextFunction = decoderRing[decoderRingPosition][0];
		var nextArgument = decoderRing[decoderRingPosition][1];

		// perform the operation using the argument
		var returnValue = nextFunction(currentDecoderValue, nextArgument);
		
		// return the newly decoded decoderRing value
		return returnValue;
	}

	// return the message
	return constructMessage().join('');
}

//Invoke it here
console.log(helloWorld());

Hello World Off (1.6)_console_dump.txt

Native Browser JavaScript
>>> Hello World