js-date.js

/* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
JavaScript Easy Date Function Similar to PHP but with JS Function Names minus 'get'

"Today is Thursday the 7th in January 2010. The time is 5:28pm and 46 Seconds."

jsdate(
    'Today is {Day} the {Date}{DateSuffix} in {Month} {FullYear}. ' +
    'The time is {HalfHours}:{Minutes}{AMPM} and {Seconds} Seconds.'
);

Refer to http://www.w3schools.com/jsref/jsref_obj_date.asp

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- */

// Minified (709 bytes)
var jsdate=function(){var e=/{(\w+)}/g,f="th,st,nd,rd,th,th,th,th,th,th".split(","),g="Sunday,Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday".split(","),h="January,February,March,April,May,June,July,August,September,October,November,December".split(",");return function(d,a){d=d||"";a=a||new Date;a.d=a.getDay;a.getDay=function(){return g[a.d()]};a.m=a.getMonth;a.getMonth=function(){return h[a.m()]};a.getHalfHours=function(){var b=a.getHours();if(b===0)return 12;return b>13?b-12:b};a.getAMPM=function(){return a.getHours()>
11?"pm":"am"};a.getDateSuffix=function(){var b=a.getDate();return f[b>9&&b<20?0:b.toString().slice(-1)]};return d.replace(e,function(b,c){c="get"+c;return a[c]&&a[c]()||""})}}();

// Source Non-minified (2.2KB)
var jsdate = (function(){

var rx     = /{(\w+)}/g
,   suffix = 'th,st,nd,rd,th,th,th,th,th,th'.split(',')
,   doweek = 'Sunday,Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday'.split(',')
,   month  = 'January,February,March,April,May,June,July,August,September,October,November,December'.split(',');

return function( str, date ) {
    str    = str  || '';
    date   = date || new Date;

    date.d = date.getDay;
    date.getDay = function(){ return doweek[date.d()] };

    date.m = date.getMonth;
    date.getMonth = function(){ return month[date.m()] };

    date.getHalfHours = function(){
        var hours = date.getHours();
        if (hours === 0) return 12;
        return hours > 13 ? hours - 12 : hours
    };

    date.getAMPM = function(){ return date.getHours() > 11 ? 'pm' : 'am' };

    date.getDateSuffix = function(){
        var day = date.getDate();
        return suffix[day > 9 && day < 20 ? 0 : day.toString().slice(-1)]
    };

    return str.replace( rx, function( _, key ) { key = 'get' + key;
        return date[key] && date[key] () || ''
    } )
}

})();