random.js

var _ = require("underscore");

// A 2-dimensional array of jokes
var jokes = _.shuffle(
[
    [
        "Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?",
        "Because he had a low \"elf\" esteem!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?",
        "He got 25 days!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?",
        "A Holly Davidson!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do you call Santa's little helpers?",
        "Subordinate clauses!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?",
        "A Christmas Quacker!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What is the best Christmas present in the world?",
        "A broken drum, you just can't beat it!\n"
    ],
    [
        "How did Scrooge win the football game?",
        "The ghost of Christmas passed!\n"
    ],
    [
        "Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?",
        "Santa Jaws\n"
    ],
    [
        "What says Oh Oh Oh?",
        "Santa walking backwards!\n"
    ],
    [
        "Who is Santa's favorite singer?",
        "Elf-is Presley!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?",
        "The elf-abet!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?",
        "Krisp Kringle!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?",
        "Horn-aments!\n"
    ],
    [
        "Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?",
        "They always drop their needles!\n"
    ],
    [
        "Why did the turkey join the band?",
        "Because it had the drumsticks!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?",
        "Frostbite!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do snowmen wear on their heads?",
        "Ice caps!\n"
    ],
    [
        "How do snowmen get around?",
        "They ride an icicle!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?",
        "Freeze a jolly good fellow!\n"
    ],
    [
        "How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?",
        "One that's deep pan, crisp and even!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What does Santa do with fat elves?",
        "He sends them to an Elf Farm!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?",
        "It's Christmas, Eve!\n"
    ],
    [
        "How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?",
        "25. There\u2019s \"no EL\"!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What carol is heard in the desert?",
        "O camel ye faithful!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?",
        "Cross Mouse Cards!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What athlete is warmest in winter?",
        "A long jumper!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?",
        "Tinsilitis!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?",
        "Nice gnawing you!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?",
        "Jingle Smells!\n"
    ],
    [
        "What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?",
        "Mistle-toad!\n"
    ],
    [
        "Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?",
        "No\u00ebl Coward!"
    ]
]);

console.log(jokes[0][0], jokes[0][1]);