Created
April 22, 2010 17:10
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Various srt captions for http://j.mp/hitlerdenial (be creative. contrib something silly)
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1 | |
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,500 | |
[Child is visible] | |
2 | |
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 | |
[Child disappears] | |
3 | |
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,000 | |
[Now you see him] | |
3 | |
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000 | |
[Now he is gone] | |
5 | |
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 | |
*The Secret of Invisibility* | |
6 | |
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 | |
Everyone are so afraid | |
7 | |
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:30,235 | |
of Facebook selling their private | |
8 | |
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,000 | |
information to anyone who pays | |
9 | |
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,000 | |
but I think it's all for the best | |
12 | |
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,000 | |
Ever since I was a little girl | |
13 | |
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,500 | |
I dreamed of dropping off the grid | |
14 | |
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000 | |
becoming invisible, going rogue | |
15 | |
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,000 | |
now my dream seems closer than ever | |
16 | |
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,500 | |
No need to burn out my fingerprints | |
17 | |
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,000 | |
no plastic surgery required | |
18 | |
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,000 | |
all I need to do is not to join | |
19 | |
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,500 | |
much cheaper than acid these days | |
20 | |
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,000 | |
more effective than hiding behind a curtain | |
21 | |
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,000 | |
also less time consuming | |
22 | |
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:21,000 | |
[Click here to like this video] | |
23 | |
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:29,000 | |
[Click again if movie is paused] | |
24 | |
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,000 | |
[Stand up if you play FarmVille] | |
25 | |
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,000 | |
[there are 82.4 million of you] | |
25 | |
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000 | |
[better sit down now] | |
26 | |
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,500 | |
Nearly half a billion users worldwide | |
27 | |
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,000 | |
close to 6% of the human race | |
28 | |
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000 | |
my dream creeps closer with every invite | |
29 | |
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000 | |
slouches towards your PC to be born | |
30 | |
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,800 | |
My phone does not ring anymore | |
30 | |
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,000 | |
only my friends even know I exist | |
31 | |
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:11,000 | |
a few hundred million users more | |
32 | |
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,000 | |
and the government will forget about me too | |
33 | |
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,000 | |
One day soon, in a central database | |
34 | |
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,000 | |
your fingerprint, your address and your browser history | |
35 | |
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:26,000 | |
will sit together and listen to me | |
36 | |
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,000 | |
playing the world's smallest open source violin | |
37 | |
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,000 | |
celebrating my new found freedom | |
38 | |
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,000 | |
until they come and make joining mandatory | |
39 | |
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 | |
A warrant? Already? |
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1 | |
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,500 | |
[Child thinking] | |
2 | |
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 | |
[Child thinking off camera] | |
3 | |
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,000 | |
*In the future* | |
4 | |
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,000 | |
*All will be forgotten* | |
5 | |
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 | |
*Even Hitler* | |
6 | |
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 | |
*ESPECIALLY Hitler* | |
7 | |
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000 | |
[Child stops thinking] | |
8 | |
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 | |
Youtube doesn't allow | |
9 | |
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:30,235 | |
spoofs on Hitler anymore | |
10 | |
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,000 | |
They have reasons, I am sure | |
11 | |
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,000 | |
but it's all English to me | |
12 | |
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,000 | |
Pushing down popular art | |
13 | |
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,500 | |
always makes it sexier | |
14 | |
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000 | |
Hitler's still funny in HTML5 | |
15 | |
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,000 | |
or as MP4 on cellular | |
16 | |
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,500 | |
You can not conduct our lives | |
17 | |
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,000 | |
even Google can't | |
18 | |
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,000 | |
we swap videos in the streets | |
19 | |
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,500 | |
that you're afraid to enter | |
20 | |
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,000 | |
What will you do, send in drones? | |
21 | |
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,000 | |
much good it did you in Afghanistan | |
22 | |
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:21,000 | |
[This space is intentionally left blank] | |
23 | |
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,000 | |
[Be careful] | |
24 | |
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:38,000 | |
[his bowtie is really a camera] | |
25 | |
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,500 | |
Behind the wall, your kids sleep | |
26 | |
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,000 | |
their router has parental locks | |
27 | |
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000 | |
but behind a russian proxy | |
28 | |
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000 | |
they see porn you wish YOU could | |
29 | |
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,800 | |
This isn't bad, they'll need these skills | |
30 | |
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,000 | |
to penetrate firewalls | |
31 | |
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:11,000 | |
When social order goes down soon | |
32 | |
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,000 | |
they will set you up with Fidonet | |
33 | |
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,000 | |
In the 90s they've raided many raves | |
34 | |
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,000 | |
made trance music popular | |
35 | |
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:26,000 | |
now they're busting up THIS joint | |
36 | |
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,000 | |
I just saw on twitter | |
37 | |
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,000 | |
We [Chinese] are expendable | |
38 | |
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,000 | |
there are more where I came from | |
39 | |
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 | |
Do you have a warrant? |
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1 | |
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,500 | |
[child is waiting] | |
2 | |
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 | |
[waiting for something big] | |
3 | |
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,000 | |
[what is it?] | |
3 | |
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000 | |
[what could it be?] | |
5 | |
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 | |
*The Story of Creation* | |
6 | |
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 | |
ask the seasoned author | |
7 | |
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:30,235 | |
"what's your secret of success?" | |
8 | |
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,000 | |
he'll answer: it's my publisher, this nasty | |
9 | |
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,000 | |
bully, crazy ass. | |
12 | |
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,000 | |
he tells me, give me book | |
13 | |
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,500 | |
one year, or money back | |
14 | |
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000 | |
treats me like a child | |
15 | |
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,000 | |
that's what makes it nice | |
16 | |
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,500 | |
thanks I owe my editor | |
17 | |
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,000 | |
who tells me all the time: | |
18 | |
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,000 | |
"your words are my fucking birthright" | |
19 | |
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,500 | |
"stay away, don't touch" | |
20 | |
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,000 | |
"what, you are still here?" | |
21 | |
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,000 | |
"I know Kung Fu. seriously, watch it" | |
22 | |
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:21,000 | |
23 | |
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:29,000 | |
24 | |
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,000 | |
[here are your children's children] | |
25 | |
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,000 | |
[and their children] | |
25 | |
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000 | |
[waiting for a good book to read] | |
26 | |
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,500 | |
perfectionism is the only thing | |
27 | |
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,000 | |
worse than mediocrity | |
28 | |
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000 | |
fight the enemy within | |
29 | |
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000 | |
and make your miracle reality | |
30 | |
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,800 | |
i'll tell you a private secret | |
30 | |
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,000 | |
I'm an anal girl | |
31 | |
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:11,000 | |
all my childhood refused to take a dump | |
32 | |
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,000 | |
honestly, nine years with no shit | |
33 | |
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,000 | |
then daddy locked me in the toilet | |
34 | |
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,000 | |
and said: "my precious Bao-Yu" | |
35 | |
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:26,000 | |
"say 'bye bye! bye bye shit!'" | |
36 | |
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,000 | |
"and let it go" | |
37 | |
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,000 | |
replace all kaluski's drawings with | |
38 | |
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,000 | |
pictures of your penis if you like, just get the - | |
39 | |
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 | |
what? an announcement? |
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