An extremely convoluted hello world

hello_world.rb

#!/usr/bin/env ruby  
require 'yaml'

# Prints out the string "Hello World!" in
# an extremely convoluted way involving
# method_missing magic, dynamic method calls,
# some metaprogramming, completely useless comments,
# the DATA block, yaml, and Sesame Street.
#
# This hello world brought to you by the letter Q.

module TheAnswer
  def self.letters(*args)
    args.each do |letter|
      class_eval(<<-DOC
        def #{letter}; ?#{letter}; end
      DOC
      )
    end
  end
  
  letters :a, :b, :c, :d, :e, :f, :g, :h, :i, :j, :k, :l, :m
  letters :n, :o, :p, :q, :r, :s, :t, :u, :v, :w, :x, :y, :z
  # Now I know my abc's...
  
  def method_missing(arg, *args)
    me = "*"[0].to_s    # Find the answer in the stars.
    class << me
      # What kind of cruel joke is this nonsense?
      def _?; to_i(j - a); end
      def _!; to_i(o - b); end
      def __; to_i(k - c); end
      def _*; to_i(e - d); end
    end
    me.send(arg, *args)
  end
  def Say(arg)
    puts arg
  end
end

include TheAnswer


# Load some data
brain = YAML::load(DATA)

# Do something silly by injecting an empty string into the brain
something_silly = brain.inject("") do |data, obj|
  data += 
  # Use the case keyword twice for double the fun.
  case my = case obj["words"].size
    when d - a
      # Get the letter of the day
      obj["letter_of_day"]
    when c + b - (2 * a + 1)
      # Subtract a number from some other numbers added together mod another number
      (_? - (obj["number_of_day"] + obj["episode"]) % _!)
    else
      __ - b + a # Adjust the answer for rounding error
    end
  # My oh my, I have no idea what is going on.
  when String; my; else; my.chr; end
end

Say(something_silly)

__END__
---  
-  
  episode: 4001  
  letter_of_day: H
  number_of_day: 12
  words: 
    - Hide
    - Happy
    - Hairy
-
  episode: 4000 
  letter_of_day: e
  number_of_day: 1
  words: 
    - Eat
    - Elephant
    - Emu
- 
  episode: 3981
  letter_of_day: l
  number_of_day: 3
  words:
    - la
    - Laugh
    - Lead
-
  episode: 4161
  letter_of_day: l
  number_of_day: 4
  words: 
    - Laundry
    - Little
    - Late
-
  episode: 4070
  letter_of_day: o
  words: 
    - Oh
    - Odd
    - Otter
-
  episode: 3988
  letter_of_day: Y
  number_of_day: 14
  words:
    - Yak
    - Yellow
-
  episode: 3992
  letter_of_day: W
  number_of_day: 2
  words:
    - Walrus
    - Waldo
    - Wall
-
  episode: 3983
  letter_of_day: o
  number_of_day: 19
  words:
    - Oatmeal
    - Ostrich
    - Oboe
-
  episode: 3995
  letter_of_day: r
  number_of_day: 15
  words:
    - Rap
    - Radio
    - Rat
-
  episode: 4203
  letter_of_day: l
  words:
    - Large
    - Label
    - Letter
-
  episode: 3990
  letter_of_day: d
  number_of_day: 7
  words:
    - Don't
    - Dessert
    - Do
-
  episode: 3984
  letter_of_day: m
  number_of_day: 17
  words:
    - Mother
    - Mad
    - Milk
    - Marker