How I know I've been up too late coding....

geolocate_rapist.rb

require 'net/http'
require 'json'
require 'hashie'

class Geolocate

  def self.ip(ip)
    #REGEX FOR VALID IP ADDRESSES
    if /\b(?:(?:25[0-5]|2[0-4][0-9]|[01]?[0-9][0-9]?)\.){3}(?:25[0-5]|2[0-4][0-9]|[01]?[0-9][0-9]?)\b/.match(ip).nil?
      raise "Not a valid IP address (e.x. '123.456.78.9')"
    #OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD I'M SO SCARED
    elsif ip == "127.0.0.1"
      puts "ITS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!"
      return Hashie::Mash.new(:city= "Your City",
      :ip="127.0.0.1", :latitude="45",:longitude="-75",:region_name="Your House",
      :region_code => "XX",:zipcode="12345", :location => 'YOUR ATTIC',
      :person => 'ANALRAPIST', :intent => 'deathgasm')
    #RESULTS
    else
      uri = "http://freegeoip.net/json/#{ip}"
      resp = Net::HTTP.get_response(URI.parse(uri)) 
      if resp.code == "404"
        raise "No results for IP: #{ip}"
      elsif resp.code == "200"
        return Hashie::Mash.new(JSON.parse(resp.body))
      end
    end
  end

end