yak

gistfile1.txt

--------------- cats #42		(34 lines) ---------------

Date: Fri Apr 22 12:33:02 1994
From: I'm jealous of Le Qow. <camel>
Subject: cat humor

recent cat humor postings on the uwbb reminded me of Yak.

Just for some reminiscing, here's a yak post that I've saved for quite 
some time now.

I want yak back!

--------------- mew #93		(22 lines) ---------------

Date: Sat Mar 28 19:51:49 1992
From: the GREAT RUMPUSCAT <yak>
Subject: direst neal:

im sory to tel yu that if yur cat is as dum as yu sai ther is very litel
hop fur him.  it is NAYCHUR, not NURCHUR, that maks cats lick me so 
smaret.  in this cas it is bcos i am a purshun.  yu mai notis that purshun
fases lak a major feechur that othr cat fases hav, namley the noz.  my
noz apers to hav ben pushd bak into my brane.  as a matur offact this iss
eggsactly whut hapens to purshuns evrywar.

yu may hav herd of th 'lower brane' and 'hier brane' in sum of yur clases.
yur lower brane is yur brane stem, sumtims caled the 'lizzard brane'.  this
is becus if yu just usd this brane to thingk wif yud be a sdum as a lizurd.
[lizurds sit on hot rocs, burn tumys, et bugs.]  [not unlick a surtin cat
wich i wont nam] [okok DEEDEE]

enywai, in purshuns whut usd to be the noz is pusshed bak untill lower brane
is smuched aginst skul.  this frees up the 'uper brane' for hier thinking.
so purshuns lie round all dai thingkin of histri, sikologi, algebra, al wich
cats lick DEEDEE dont no much of, iff yu get mi drift.  i dowt that zak 
evr stops defendin the urth from the PILLO CRETUR long nuff to ponder
daycart.  mury [a purshun] on the othr hand expends so mush enrgi thingkin
bout thins [ushualy wif eyes clozed] that he nevr bits pillos.  wel mabe
wonce in a grat wil but only as a stres raleever.