GWJ SludgeHammer

sludgehammer.user.js

// ==UserScript==
// @name         SludgeHammer
// @namespace    gamerswithjobs
// @description    Replaces marketing speak with English
// @exclude /github/
// @author  Chris Doggett
// ==/UserScript==

// Special thanks to Jeremy Banks at http://stackoverflow.com/a/6834930/64203
var load,execute,loadAndExecute;load=function(a,b,c){var d;d=document.createElement("script"),d.setAttribute("src",a),b!=null&&d.addEventListener("load",b),c!=null&&d.addEventListener("error",c),document.body.appendChild(d);return d},execute=function(a){var b,c;typeof a=="function"?b="("+a+")();":b=a,c=document.createElement("script"),c.textContent=b,document.body.appendChild(c);return c},loadAndExecute=function(a,b){return load(a,function(){return execute(b)})};

load("//ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.1/jquery.min.js",
  function(event) // Great success!
  {
    loadAndExecute("//raw.github.com/cowboy/jquery-replacetext/master/jquery.ba-replacetext.js", main);
  }, 
  function(event)
  {
    // something happened when loading jQuery from Google
  })

function main() 
{
  // Add words and what they should be replaced with here
  var buzzwords = 
  {
    "client-driven": "sludge",
    "profit focused": "sludge",
    "new paradigm": "sludge"
  };

  for(var buzzword in buzzwords)
  {
    $("body *").replaceText(buzzword, buzzwords[buzzword]);
  }
}